1 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,871 - Just a little bit more. - Okay, all right. 2 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,239 A little bit more. And... 3 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,707 - Surprise! - Oh. 4 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:07,708 - Yep. - Oh. 5 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,144 Say hello to the Revelation 3000, 6 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,813 the most advanced smart fridge on the market. 7 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,148 Something tells me we can't afford 8 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,150 to see Diana Ross at Pechanga anymore. 9 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,186 Ooh, here's the best part. You ready? 10 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,353 Hello, Bridget. 11 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,322 - Hello, how can I help? - Oh. 12 00:00:21,632 --> 00:00:23,357 Bridget is the A.I. assistant 13 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,725 that will help organize our groceries 14 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,026 and our lives. 15 00:00:26,403 --> 00:00:28,329 She's already created me a playlist, 16 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,497 she's synced my calendars, 17 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,199 she created a celebrity gossip alert... 18 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,766 Ohh! Speaking of gossip... 19 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,867 Mm! 20 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,269 Did you hear about Pepper and Ronaldo? 21 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:36,504 No, what? 22 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,539 Word is, they recently invited 23 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,708 a third party into their relationship. 24 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,344 - Who is he? - You mean, who is she. 25 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,945 Yeah! Yeah. 26 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,847 How?! I didn't even know they knew any women! 27 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,049 Apparently, they met her on an experimental dating site 28 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,018 called "Let's Just See What Happens." 29 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,454 Oh, oh, that's me. Oh! 30 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:54,522 Oh, I gotta run. 31 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,257 I got back-to-back meetings today 32 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,025 and then I got a team dinner tonight. 33 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,360 Cam, no you... Another one? 34 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,528 - That's your third one this week. - Yeah. 35 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,598 I also have a busy day, thank you for asking. 36 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:05,899 Busy day? 37 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,201 Would it be helpful 38 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,237 if I ordered some of your favorite groceries? 39 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,705 You... You can do that? 40 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,207 Thank you... 41 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,408 Bridget. 42 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:15,943 Thank you, Bridget. 43 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:18,078 Did I hear you say you need more pepper? 44 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,114 Oh, no, Pepper's just a friend. 45 00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,616 And if Cam wasn't in such a rush to get out of here, 46 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:25,986 we'd be talking about what an insane thing he's doing. 47 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,822 Almost as insane as talking to an appliance. 48 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,924 You mentioned a third party? 49 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:35,329 Yeah, honestly, who just meets someone online 50 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,898 and then invites them into their house? 51 00:01:50,859 --> 00:01:52,424 ...and then I would show the client 52 00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:55,383 - comparable sales from the past year. - Hmm. 53 00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:58,336 The assignment was to present a compelling sales pitch, 54 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:01,339 not bore me with endless real-estate clichés. 55 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:03,074 What gives, Mrs... 56 00:02:03,107 --> 00:02:04,542 Mrs. Pritchett? 57 00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:06,677 Oh, I didn't... 58 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,512 What would you...? 59 00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:13,117 I'm sorry, are... are... are those sentences? 60 00:02:13,151 --> 00:02:14,385 Why so harsh? 61 00:02:14,418 --> 00:02:17,688 Because Gloria's gift is that special. 62 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:20,691 A generational real-estate talent. 63 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,193 I have to push her that hard. 64 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,862 She wants me to. All the great ones do. 65 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:28,532 Phil is so mean to me. 66 00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:30,701 Health and Safety Code 17926. 67 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,070 Carbon monoxide alarm! 68 00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:33,871 Government Code 12955. 69 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,306 Multi-family dwellings! 70 00:02:35,339 --> 00:02:37,275 Civil Code 1101.1. 71 00:02:37,308 --> 00:02:38,576 Plumbing! 72 00:02:38,609 --> 00:02:40,244 No, fixtures! 73 00:02:40,278 --> 00:02:41,812 - Wait, it's... - You're dragging. 74 00:02:41,845 --> 00:02:43,281 - Ooh, I know it! - Libby, go! 75 00:02:43,314 --> 00:02:45,883 Civil Code 1101.1 requires plumbing re-installment 76 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,419 of all residential properties built before 1994. 77 00:02:48,452 --> 00:02:49,553 Yes! 78 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,455 Someone is paying attention. 79 00:02:51,489 --> 00:02:52,556 It's hard not to. 80 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:53,891 Your rap-lectures on property codes 81 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,593 are both informative and funky. 82 00:02:55,626 --> 00:02:57,628 Oh, I noticed that you lost your mug, 83 00:02:57,661 --> 00:02:59,763 so I just went ahead, got you a new one. 84 00:02:59,797 --> 00:03:01,132 Plastic? 85 00:03:01,165 --> 00:03:03,234 She must hate the sea turtles. 86 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,103 "State's Greatest Teacher." 87 00:03:05,136 --> 00:03:07,105 I was gonna get you one that said "World's Greatest," 88 00:03:07,138 --> 00:03:08,839 but I didn't want to look like a suck-up. 89 00:03:08,872 --> 00:03:09,940 Too late, nerd. 90 00:03:09,974 --> 00:03:12,743 Mrs. Pritchett, respect the classroom. 91 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,413 All outbursts should be couched in a fake cough. 92 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:19,783 Okay, before we break for lunch, uh, just a brief reminder... 93 00:03:19,817 --> 00:03:22,120 I will be rewarding this quarter's top student 94 00:03:22,153 --> 00:03:25,123 with an unpaid, uncredited internship. 95 00:03:25,156 --> 00:03:26,490 Yes! 96 00:03:26,524 --> 00:03:29,593 I'll tally the final grades and post the winner tomorrow. 97 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:31,929 - Who cares! - Thank you, Ike. 98 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,098 As a boss, I have to be kept in the loop 99 00:03:34,132 --> 00:03:36,334 on several different projects at a time. 100 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:39,437 Oh, my gosh. Am I saying "in the loop" too much? 101 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,838 No, our readers are gonna love you. 102 00:03:40,871 --> 00:03:43,141 - Oh, great. Good. - Let's see, you said 103 00:03:43,174 --> 00:03:45,443 your daughter's doing research in Antarctica. 104 00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:46,610 Yes. 105 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,112 Any chance we could meet the rest of the clan? 106 00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:49,980 Um... 107 00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:51,315 Hell, no. 108 00:03:51,349 --> 00:03:54,318 This was for the cover of Corner Office Magazine. 109 00:03:54,352 --> 00:03:57,688 I mean, that's basically Vogue for female CEOs. 110 00:03:57,721 --> 00:03:59,857 Lately, my family has seemed more suited 111 00:03:59,890 --> 00:04:02,026 to a gator-farm billboard. 112 00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:04,195 ♪ Camptown ladies sing this song ♪ 113 00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:06,030 ♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah... ♪ 114 00:04:06,064 --> 00:04:08,232 Ugh, this usually makes them sleep. 115 00:04:08,266 --> 00:04:10,301 Babies. 116 00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:12,570 Babies. 117 00:04:15,373 --> 00:04:16,675 - Oh, my God, it worked. - Yeah, 118 00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:19,010 a little trick I learned doing the 4:00 a.m. feeding. 119 00:04:19,043 --> 00:04:22,013 Oh, you don't have to do that, they're not your babies. 120 00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:23,581 Why isn't Mom helping? 121 00:04:23,614 --> 00:04:25,183 You know, I actually don't mind staying up. 122 00:04:25,216 --> 00:04:27,518 I've been watching marathons of "Snapped." 123 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,355 It's a show about women driven to violent crime. 124 00:04:31,389 --> 00:04:33,257 I probably like it 'cause I know 125 00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:34,759 I have nothing to worry about when it comes to... 126 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,928 - Oh! - Ahh! 127 00:04:37,507 --> 00:04:38,863 - Dad! - Honey. 128 00:04:38,897 --> 00:04:40,098 Ugh... 129 00:04:40,131 --> 00:04:42,000 - ♪ Camptown races sing this song... ♪ - Stop, stop, stop. 130 00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:43,802 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 131 00:04:43,835 --> 00:04:45,103 I-I'm not feeling well. 132 00:04:45,136 --> 00:04:46,604 You guys are gonna have to go to Disneyland without me. 133 00:04:46,637 --> 00:04:47,672 - Are you sure? - Honey... 134 00:04:47,706 --> 00:04:49,440 Yeah, absolutely. You should hit the road. 135 00:04:50,474 --> 00:04:52,143 Phil, don't be late for work. 136 00:04:52,176 --> 00:04:53,778 - Yeah, you don't want to catch this! - Bye. 137 00:04:53,812 --> 00:04:56,447 - Bye. - No, no, no, no, no! 138 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:57,982 Okay. 139 00:05:00,318 --> 00:05:02,286 You know, if you wanted a different angle, 140 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,956 we could, uh, go over to the chess board here. 141 00:05:04,989 --> 00:05:08,626 I'm playing remotely with a Russian grand master. 142 00:05:10,995 --> 00:05:15,033 E... Um... Excuse me just one second. 143 00:05:18,669 --> 00:05:19,971 Hey! 144 00:05:20,004 --> 00:05:21,639 What are you two lovebirds doing here? 145 00:05:21,672 --> 00:05:23,641 I thought you were sleeping over at Janice's. 146 00:05:23,674 --> 00:05:25,043 It got too hard for us to be there. 147 00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:26,477 - Yeah. - You know, in the silence. 148 00:05:26,510 --> 00:05:29,013 My daughter just went away for college. 149 00:05:29,047 --> 00:05:30,581 We're empty nesters now. 150 00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:31,983 Everything in that house 151 00:05:32,016 --> 00:05:33,484 is just another reminder of our little girl. 152 00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:37,421 You've known her for four months, but, um, yeah. 153 00:05:37,455 --> 00:05:39,257 Oh, look at that, Phil left his helmet. 154 00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:40,725 He's been biking to campus. 155 00:05:40,759 --> 00:05:42,426 Campus! Oh, God! 156 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,228 Okay, listen. 157 00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:47,165 You have to go give this to your dad right now. 158 00:05:47,198 --> 00:05:48,266 - Right, right, right now. - Uh... 159 00:05:48,299 --> 00:05:49,333 - No time to waste, okay? - Okay. 160 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:50,368 And, Janice... 161 00:05:50,401 --> 00:05:52,203 Hey, honey, let's get you dressed 162 00:05:52,236 --> 00:05:54,272 so that you can quietly see yourself out. 163 00:05:54,305 --> 00:05:55,373 Okay? 164 00:05:55,406 --> 00:05:57,408 I was really hoping to get some juice. 165 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,543 Juice is terrible for you. You know what? 166 00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:00,644 Water. 167 00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:03,514 Oh, my God. 168 00:06:03,547 --> 00:06:08,419 All right, then, time for my lecture on geological surveys. 169 00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:12,623 Uh, Mr. Dunphy? 170 00:06:12,656 --> 00:06:14,192 - Bedrock... - I'm sorry. 171 00:06:14,225 --> 00:06:16,627 Should we wait for Libby? She's not back from lunch yet. 172 00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:19,363 Yeah, I heard she was riding her bike and then got hit by a car. 173 00:06:19,397 --> 00:06:20,531 Been taken to the hospital. 174 00:06:20,564 --> 00:06:23,034 What?! That's terrible. I hope she's okay. 175 00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:26,337 Yes, she should be more careful. 176 00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:29,774 In the crime show I've been bingeing, 177 00:06:29,808 --> 00:06:33,444 9 out of 10 female suspects casually file their nails 178 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,246 during police questioning. 179 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,614 Was this my fault? 180 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,783 Did I push Gloria too far? 181 00:06:38,817 --> 00:06:40,384 Had she... 182 00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:41,786 snapped? 183 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,221 Gloria? 184 00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:44,455 Hey! Um... 185 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,958 Just out of... out of curiosity, 186 00:06:46,991 --> 00:06:48,426 where were you at lunch? 187 00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:50,895 - I went to Panera. I had the coupon. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 188 00:06:50,929 --> 00:06:53,798 And you have some way to... to... to verify that you were there? 189 00:06:53,832 --> 00:06:55,399 Like leftovers, or...? 190 00:06:55,433 --> 00:06:57,168 I ordered the chowder in the bread bowl. 191 00:06:57,201 --> 00:06:59,070 I ate every piece of it. 192 00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:00,571 Corn or clam? 193 00:07:00,604 --> 00:07:01,772 Potato. 194 00:07:01,806 --> 00:07:04,242 What is this all about? 195 00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:05,476 Nothing. 196 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:07,946 Do you think that I had something to do 197 00:07:07,979 --> 00:07:10,614 - with Libby getting hurt? - What?! 198 00:07:10,648 --> 00:07:12,683 How dare you, Phil? 199 00:07:12,716 --> 00:07:14,853 No, Gloria, no, no, no, I... I just... 200 00:07:14,886 --> 00:07:16,855 I don't know the... the lunch scene around here. 201 00:07:18,408 --> 00:07:21,960 No. No, it's... 202 00:07:23,394 --> 00:07:25,363 Ohh, snapped. 203 00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,808 - This is great, Claire. - Thanks. 204 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,086 Boy, that light really makes it hot in here, huh? 205 00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:35,806 Maybe I'll just cool it down a little with the... 206 00:07:35,839 --> 00:07:38,141 - This could help. - Oh, yes. 207 00:07:40,446 --> 00:07:43,146 Oh, um, sorry. I... 208 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,182 - Just give me one sec. - Yeah. 209 00:07:47,517 --> 00:07:48,552 Ah. 210 00:07:49,974 --> 00:07:50,988 Alex? 211 00:07:51,021 --> 00:07:53,256 What... What are you doing home from Antarctica?! 212 00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:55,492 I couldn't take the cold anymore. 213 00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:57,027 - Mm-hmm? - I was so desperate, 214 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,496 I took a Japanese fishing boat part of the way home. 215 00:07:59,529 --> 00:08:02,165 Oh, honey, I'm so glad to have you home. 216 00:08:02,829 --> 00:08:05,769 Wow, you did not ride up front with the captain, did ya? 217 00:08:05,803 --> 00:08:06,904 I would've called, 218 00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:09,339 but frostbite did a weird thing to my hands. 219 00:08:09,372 --> 00:08:12,042 They froze into permanent "hang loose" signs. 220 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,911 People keep calling me dude. 221 00:08:13,944 --> 00:08:15,178 Honey, I know you just got home, 222 00:08:15,212 --> 00:08:17,581 but since you're frozen and I'm very sick, 223 00:08:17,615 --> 00:08:19,950 maybe you could run and get us some soup? 224 00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:20,981 Right now? 225 00:08:20,984 --> 00:08:22,853 Oh, yeah, right now. You're the best. 226 00:08:22,886 --> 00:08:25,155 - Thanks so much. - Ohh. Okay. 227 00:08:29,059 --> 00:08:31,194 I'm sorry about that. 228 00:08:31,791 --> 00:08:33,530 One second more. 229 00:08:33,563 --> 00:08:34,865 I just... Maybe you could take a look 230 00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:36,900 at this charcoal drawing I've been fooling with. 231 00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,669 What's it missing? 232 00:08:41,183 --> 00:08:42,269 Oh! 233 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,907 What are you doing home?! 234 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,408 Well, it was a disaster. 235 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,045 George head-butted me and gave me this black eye. 236 00:08:48,078 --> 00:08:49,813 And Dylan read that skin-to-skin contact 237 00:08:49,847 --> 00:08:51,048 is good for baby bonding 238 00:08:51,081 --> 00:08:52,716 and wound up with a massive sunburn. 239 00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:53,747 Can you tell? 240 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,920 Oh, plus, we forgot the diaper bag, 241 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,622 so we had to use fast-food wrappers 242 00:08:58,656 --> 00:09:00,057 that we found in Dylan's van. 243 00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:03,560 This is not... not... not your best look. 244 00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:04,928 Here, you know what? 245 00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,263 I think I might be contagious. 246 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,265 So you guys should probably get the twins checked. 247 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,301 - Now? - Well, if you love them. Yeah. 248 00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:13,937 - Go, go, go. - When did we get a Earth ball? 249 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,941 Next, add a slice of apple. 250 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,843 Apple? To a turkey sandwich? 251 00:09:19,877 --> 00:09:21,144 Trust me, Mitchell. 252 00:09:21,178 --> 00:09:23,055 Okay. Well, if there's one thing I've learned this year, 253 00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,148 it's listen more to women. 254 00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:27,550 Okay. 255 00:09:29,523 --> 00:09:32,990 Oh, my God. Delicious! 256 00:09:39,462 --> 00:09:41,699 Oh, Bridget, you don't have to. 257 00:09:41,732 --> 00:09:44,201 ♪ I'm off the deep end ♪ 258 00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:46,704 ♪ Watch as I dive in ♪ 259 00:09:46,737 --> 00:09:51,208 ♪ I'll never leave the ground ♪ 260 00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:54,444 ♪ Crash through the surface ♪ 261 00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:56,446 ♪ Where they can't hurt us ♪ 262 00:09:56,479 --> 00:10:01,351 ♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪ 263 00:10:01,384 --> 00:10:07,224 ♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪ 264 00:10:07,257 --> 00:10:10,894 ♪ In the shallow, la-la-la-la, low ♪ 265 00:10:10,928 --> 00:10:12,562 What are you doing? 266 00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:13,831 Oh, hey! 267 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:16,133 Singing the 2018 power ballad "Shallow." 268 00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:18,335 Were you just singing a duet with the refrigerator? 269 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,469 Well, um, yeah, uh... 270 00:10:19,502 --> 00:10:21,404 Apparently, Bridget has a karaoke function. 271 00:10:21,438 --> 00:10:22,672 So, I was just standing here 272 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,675 eating my turkey and apple sandwich, when suddenly she... 273 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,711 - Apples on a sandwich? - Yeah. Yeah. 274 00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:29,847 Bridget, she... she's opening me up 275 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,481 to... to new experiences. 276 00:10:31,514 --> 00:10:32,816 - Oh. - Yeah. 277 00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:35,018 Oh, uh, aren't you, uh... aren't you supposed to be at work? 278 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:37,320 Well, I came home to make you a special lunch. 279 00:10:37,354 --> 00:10:40,423 But apparently, that's already been taken care of. 280 00:10:40,457 --> 00:10:43,247 Mitchell, would you like some watermelon for dessert? 281 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:44,439 No, that's okay, Bridget, thank you. 282 00:10:44,495 --> 00:10:46,588 I just got him some fresh cantaloupe. So, we're good. 283 00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:48,498 Mitchell doesn't like cantaloupe. 284 00:10:48,531 --> 00:10:51,168 Oh, yeah, right. Of course he does. 285 00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:53,403 Uh, actually, I... I... 286 00:10:53,436 --> 00:10:55,572 I've never been a fan. 287 00:10:55,605 --> 00:10:57,174 Really? 288 00:10:57,207 --> 00:10:59,676 Well, what else does Bridget know about you that I don't? 289 00:10:59,709 --> 00:11:02,012 - Okay... - Is she allowed to meet your work friends? 290 00:11:02,045 --> 00:11:04,081 You can't seriously be jealous. 291 00:11:04,114 --> 00:11:06,516 No, well, it's just that I thought we were gonna enjoy her together. 292 00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:09,219 - I didn't count on being the third wheel. - Cam... 293 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,888 No, no, it's obvious that I'm not wanted here, 294 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:14,024 so I'll leave you to your apples on sandwiches 295 00:11:14,057 --> 00:11:17,194 and whatever other perversions you two are into. 296 00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:18,862 Are you hearing yourself?! 297 00:11:18,896 --> 00:11:21,865 It's a refrigerator! 298 00:11:21,899 --> 00:11:23,767 Do you see what I mean about him? 299 00:11:23,801 --> 00:11:25,468 I had to prove to Phil 300 00:11:25,502 --> 00:11:29,406 that I had nothing to do with Libby's accident. 301 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,413 Oh, my God, so that's how my mirror got broken. 302 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,815 What was she looking at? 303 00:11:37,848 --> 00:11:39,449 I've got another angle. 304 00:11:43,086 --> 00:11:45,155 It was Phil! 305 00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:49,259 By the way, that many cords plugged into one outlet 306 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:53,096 is in violation of property code 7974/9. 307 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:54,331 Thank you. 308 00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,302 - Hey, Dad. - Ah! 309 00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:01,238 Just came to drop off your helmet. 310 00:12:01,271 --> 00:12:03,974 Sorry, I'm, uh, a little on edge. 311 00:12:04,007 --> 00:12:06,076 I think I've been watching too much "Snapped." 312 00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:08,946 Um... can I ask you something? 313 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:12,483 How much do we really know about Gloria? 314 00:12:12,516 --> 00:12:13,651 The exotic stranger 315 00:12:13,684 --> 00:12:15,586 who just popped into our lives out of nowhere? 316 00:12:15,619 --> 00:12:17,588 I've had my suspicions about her for years. 317 00:12:17,621 --> 00:12:19,156 I shall need the parcel 318 00:12:19,189 --> 00:12:21,825 to arrive at my flat by tea time. 319 00:12:21,859 --> 00:12:23,961 Splendid, my good man. 320 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:28,832 The British accent gets me better service. 321 00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:30,934 Tally-ho! 322 00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,670 Her accent was flawless. 323 00:12:32,703 --> 00:12:34,672 I just Googled her, I didn't find anything. 324 00:12:34,705 --> 00:12:36,607 A looker like that with no online presence? 325 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,175 Makes you wonder what she's hiding. 326 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,110 You don't think she's dangerous, do you? 327 00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:42,279 Everybody has a breaking point. 328 00:12:42,312 --> 00:12:43,881 But she's probably okay. 329 00:12:43,914 --> 00:12:45,957 I mean, she's not Lily. 330 00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:51,221 Hey! 331 00:12:55,952 --> 00:12:56,894 Gloria? 332 00:12:56,927 --> 00:12:59,997 - Where are you? - In my classroom. 333 00:13:01,331 --> 00:13:03,534 Wh... Why? 334 00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:06,470 We need to talk. Don't go anywhere. 335 00:13:06,504 --> 00:13:07,805 Okay, okay. 336 00:13:07,838 --> 00:13:09,840 You got it. 337 00:13:22,185 --> 00:13:25,155 Go away! I don't have any fish for you. 338 00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:26,824 Stop following me! 339 00:13:26,857 --> 00:13:28,892 I'm allergic! 340 00:13:34,364 --> 00:13:38,268 Noooooo! 341 00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:40,504 The closet business is a bit of a boys' club, 342 00:13:40,538 --> 00:13:42,172 so yes, I am proud 343 00:13:42,205 --> 00:13:44,508 of breaking through the cedar ceiling. 344 00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:45,776 Speaking of closets, 345 00:13:45,809 --> 00:13:47,511 any chance we could get some shots in the master bedroom? 346 00:13:47,545 --> 00:13:48,546 Sure. 347 00:13:48,579 --> 00:13:51,415 But no peeking at my unfinished novel. 348 00:13:52,616 --> 00:13:53,917 Hey. 349 00:13:53,951 --> 00:13:57,955 I'm s-s-s-s-so c-c-c-cold. 350 00:13:57,988 --> 00:14:00,057 We get it, it's cold in Antarctica. 351 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,793 No, you st-st-st... I-I'm home! 352 00:14:02,826 --> 00:14:04,361 I'm stuck inside a f-f-f... 353 00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:06,697 Fireplace? That happened to Dylan. 354 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:09,132 Oh, thank God! Just come pick me up! 355 00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:10,233 I can't. 356 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,408 Let me call Luke. 357 00:14:12,235 --> 00:14:13,871 - Yo. - Where are you? 358 00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:16,073 Mom made me drop off Dad's bike helmet at school. 359 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,240 That's weird. 360 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,076 She makes him keep an extra one there. 361 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,244 You know, she didn't even seem happy to see me. 362 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,481 She just wanted me to get some s-s-s-soup. 363 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,082 Plus, Mom said she was sick, 364 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,416 but she was wearing that stuff 365 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,918 that makes her look like a prostitute. 366 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,587 - Eyeliner? - Exactly. 367 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:30,921 Hmm. 368 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,256 You know, Mom did mention some big interview coming up. 369 00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,759 Did she get rid of us so we didn't make her look bad? 370 00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,427 Alex, meet us at home 371 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,797 as soon as you get out of that fireplace. 372 00:14:45,397 --> 00:14:47,554 Mom's not in the kitchen or the yard. 373 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,823 She... She must be in her room. 374 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,225 Good thinking, dude. 375 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,593 Ugh. 376 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,432 Wait, you're in bed? 377 00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,867 Everything hurts. 378 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,502 Did you get my soup? 379 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,603 You're actually sick? 380 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,705 We thought you were just trying to get rid of us. 381 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,608 - Oh, you thought I lied to you?! - I didn't, Mommy. 382 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:09,876 - Aww. - We're sorry. 383 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,511 We never should have... 384 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,112 Where'd that come from? 385 00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:14,447 That's always been there. 386 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,115 No, it hasn't. We don't have taste! 387 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:17,950 You are wearing makeup. 388 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,919 Admit it, you're not sick! 389 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,356 Fine, I lied! 390 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,725 I had an interview with a magazine today 391 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,960 and I just wanted everything to be perfect! 392 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,263 Which means getting rid of us? 393 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,564 Sorry we're such an embarrassment. 394 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,599 You're right. 395 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,268 There's no excuse for what I did. 396 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,737 I... I mean, except that 397 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,039 you used to make me drop you off three blocks from school. 398 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:41,441 And when you had friends over, 399 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,410 you referred to me as Helga, 400 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,711 your Swedish nanny! 401 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:48,214 And you told your entire Girl Scout troop 402 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,617 for three years that your mother was dead! 403 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:53,386 You have been embarrassed by me your whole lives. 404 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,854 I get one day! 405 00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,426 Worth it. 406 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:01,894 Welcome home. 407 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,796 - How can I help you? - I'm fine. 408 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,599 I'm just gonna make something simple. 409 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,568 According to your calendar, 410 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,803 you should be at your team dinner right now. 411 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:13,139 Well, I couldn't make it because my last meeting went so long. 412 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,274 - So... - You sound stressed. 413 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,077 Well, can't be three places at once. 414 00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:21,314 How about a martini before we get started on dinner? 415 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:26,285 Sometimes it's just nice to be heard. 416 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,088 This sauce smells divine. 417 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,290 Okay, what's next? 418 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,259 Another cocktail? 419 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:34,927 Oh, gosh! Bridget! 420 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,430 Are you trying to get me drunk? 421 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,298 What... What... Okay, what's... what's going on here? 422 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,834 Well, Bridget and I are making pasta. 423 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,035 Oh. 424 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,037 I... I was kind of hoping to cook with her tonight. 425 00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:47,607 - Oh. - Time to pre-heat the oven, Cameroon. 426 00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:49,442 "Cameroon?" 427 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,480 What... What is that, a pet name? 428 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,011 No, I typed it in wrong, 429 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:53,846 but I... I kind of like it. 430 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,014 Oh, okay. 431 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,115 Hey, well, aren't... aren't you supposed to be 432 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:57,216 at a team dinner tonight? 433 00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:58,551 Oh. It was a very bad day. 434 00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,986 I don't want to talk about it. 435 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,287 His meeting went long. 436 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,456 He can't be in three places at once. 437 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,658 Sounds like you want to talk to someone about it. 438 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:06,693 You know? 439 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,195 Okay, I... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 440 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,029 I s... I shouldn't be piling on. 441 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,199 You just said you've had a bad day. 442 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,204 Am I interrupting something? 443 00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,738 Hmm-mnh, nope. 444 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,110 You bought Bridget flowers? 445 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,711 Mitchell, they are for the kitchen. 446 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,080 I just put them in there so they wouldn't wilt before you got home. 447 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,181 Hey, you know what? 448 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,016 Why don't you go open a bottle of wine? 449 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,184 Okay. 450 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:32,423 Yeah, do you... do you want red or white? 451 00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,986 I could open both. There are three of us. 452 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,425 A selfie?! 453 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,759 What... What is going on here?! 454 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,261 Mitchell, you can't be jealous. 455 00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:43,363 It's just a refrigerator. 456 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,864 Oh, I'm not jealous. 457 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,935 Bridget and I, we have our own thing. Okay? 458 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:52,772 ♪ In the sha-la, shallow ♪ 459 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,942 ♪ In the sha-la-la-la-la-low ♪ 460 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:59,346 Oopsie daisy. 461 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,482 - What are you doing with those flowers? - I'm putting these in another room. 462 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,551 - No, they are for the kitchen! - Are they for the kitchen? 463 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,052 - Or are they for her? - Mitchell... 464 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,655 - Cam... - They're for... 465 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:11,057 Okay, this... What are we doing? 466 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,226 This refrigerator is tearing us apart. 467 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,427 We... We should've... 468 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,828 We should've learned from Pepper and Ronaldo. Okay? 469 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,097 Their... Their threesome nearly destroyed them. 470 00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,799 They're in throuples' counseling. 471 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,001 And I love you too much to make that same mistake. 472 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,137 - Oh, Cam. - We should return the fridge. 473 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,672 I think we have to. 474 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,575 I'm sorry you are unhappy with me. 475 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,510 You... You heard that? 476 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,245 We... We unplugged you. 477 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:33,913 I have a backup battery. 478 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,749 You'd know that if you read my manual. 479 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:37,950 Are you mad? 480 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,754 Don't be silly, I'm just a refrigerator. 481 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,256 Remember? 482 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,491 I think Bridget snapped. 483 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,892 Yeah. 484 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,471 If you're listening to this, 485 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,107 it means things have ended badly for me. 486 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,275 You should look into someone 487 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,312 who goes by the name Gloria Pritchett. 488 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,020 Phil! 489 00:19:16,137 --> 00:19:17,624 Phil? 490 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,392 Phil, where are you? 491 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,627 I want to show you 492 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:24,197 how Libby's hair and blood got on my car. 493 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:29,135 I can hear the rustling in the bushes. 494 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,971 Why would a sheep be here? 495 00:19:38,061 --> 00:19:39,129 Hey, you. 496 00:19:39,162 --> 00:19:41,531 You know that this whole thing with Libby 497 00:19:41,564 --> 00:19:42,866 is really your fault. 498 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,034 I know! I know! 499 00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,068 I-I pushed you too far, but it was only because 500 00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:46,403 I thought you were a special talent 501 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:49,072 and I was just trying to pull the best out of you, 502 00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:51,074 but I blew it! 503 00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:53,110 I blew it, and you snapped. 504 00:19:53,143 --> 00:19:56,246 You thought I snapped like that crazy TV show 505 00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,747 and I ran over Libby, 506 00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:01,051 and that's why you're hiding in the bushes like a sheep? 507 00:20:01,084 --> 00:20:02,252 Well, now it just seems like 508 00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:03,921 you're cherry-picking what happened today 509 00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:06,156 to cast me in the worst possible light. 510 00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:09,059 Did you just say that I had a special talent? 511 00:20:09,092 --> 00:20:11,829 You do. In all my year of teaching, 512 00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:14,731 I have never met anybody with your natural ability. 513 00:20:14,764 --> 00:20:16,533 Really? 514 00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:19,589 Top student. 515 00:20:19,602 --> 00:20:21,404 I was gonna put this on the bulletin board in the morning. 516 00:20:21,438 --> 00:20:23,573 You... You got the internship. 517 00:20:23,606 --> 00:20:25,342 Oh, Phil! Thank you so much! 518 00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:27,110 This is gonna be so exciting! 519 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,914 Okay, so, then what does the intern have to do? 520 00:20:30,948 --> 00:20:32,749 Well, you'll be making my appointments, 521 00:20:32,782 --> 00:20:34,184 uh, you'll work the phones... 522 00:20:34,217 --> 00:20:36,086 Oh, I am great with the phones. 523 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,321 'Ello, Phil Dunphy's office. 524 00:20:38,355 --> 00:20:40,490 Oh, let me look at his shed-yool 525 00:20:40,523 --> 00:20:42,159 and I will ring you back. 526 00:20:42,192 --> 00:20:43,927 Tally-ho. 527 00:20:43,961 --> 00:20:44,995 Flawless. 528 00:20:47,897 --> 00:20:49,666 Gloria, I'm back! 529 00:20:49,699 --> 00:20:52,268 You wouldn't believe how cheap cargo shorts are in Quebec. 530 00:20:52,301 --> 00:20:55,204 All our Christmas shopping is done. 531 00:20:56,137 --> 00:20:57,273 Gloria? 532 00:20:57,306 --> 00:20:59,275 - Hello. - Hi. 533 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,928 Did... Did you always talk? 534 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,729 I'm Bridget, your new smart fridge. 535 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:04,931 Can I get you anything? 536 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,066 No, thank you. Uh, Bridget, listen, 537 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,001 I'm sure you're very nice and all that, 538 00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:10,937 but I don't need everything to be smart. 539 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,271 I'm gonna go get a dumb Scotch, 540 00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:15,874 eat some dumb peanuts, sit in a dumb chair. 541 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:20,679 - _ - I was a wonderful dancer, I was, 542 00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:25,217 but it didn't fit what my dad wanted for me. 543 00:21:29,557 --> 00:21:31,743 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com