1 00:00:00,032 --> 00:00:02,157 Every afternoon, I've been going to Luke's campus 2 00:00:02,166 --> 00:00:04,499 to help him train for rugby tryouts. 3 00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:06,734 What do you say we practice that lineout lift one last time? 4 00:00:06,803 --> 00:00:08,202 - And... - I got to go. 5 00:00:08,304 --> 00:00:09,704 I don't want to be late for women's studies. 6 00:00:09,806 --> 00:00:11,205 That's what I call my lunch break. 7 00:00:11,307 --> 00:00:14,108 All right. Good luck at tryouts. 8 00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:15,576 The other day, 9 00:00:15,612 --> 00:00:18,646 something pretty interesting caught my eye. 10 00:00:20,717 --> 00:00:22,717 modifications must be made 11 00:00:22,786 --> 00:00:25,019 to standard microeconomic procedures 12 00:00:25,088 --> 00:00:28,623 to apply supply and demand analysis. 13 00:00:30,059 --> 00:00:33,027 First, we construct a utility function, 14 00:00:33,129 --> 00:00:34,962 where Y equals income 15 00:00:35,064 --> 00:00:37,131 and X equals the cost of services. 16 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,266 Well... 17 00:00:39,335 --> 00:00:41,569 Next, we vary either X... 18 00:00:41,671 --> 00:00:43,170 Pffffbbbbb. 19 00:00:43,273 --> 00:00:45,673 What... What's on your mind? 20 00:00:45,775 --> 00:00:48,309 Well, um, with all due respect, 21 00:00:48,378 --> 00:00:51,045 you have a roomful of aspiring Realtors here, 22 00:00:51,147 --> 00:00:53,447 and I worry that you might be turning them off 23 00:00:53,549 --> 00:00:55,883 with all those numbers and formulas. 24 00:00:55,985 --> 00:00:58,519 It's actually a very exciting business. 25 00:00:58,621 --> 00:01:01,522 It's about people and... and emotional connections 26 00:01:01,624 --> 00:01:03,524 and magnets with your face on them. 27 00:01:03,593 --> 00:01:05,426 You think you can just walk in here 28 00:01:05,528 --> 00:01:07,161 and start teaching this class? 29 00:01:07,263 --> 00:01:08,596 I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have... 30 00:01:08,698 --> 00:01:10,631 No, I'm asking... can you teach this class for me? 31 00:01:10,733 --> 00:01:13,134 If I leave now, I won't have to pay the all-day parking rate. 32 00:01:17,388 --> 00:01:18,388 10 minutes with the dean, 33 00:01:18,489 --> 00:01:20,889 who, it turns out, I'd sold a house to, 34 00:01:20,991 --> 00:01:22,791 and I was official. 35 00:01:22,893 --> 00:01:24,726 Imagine Phil Dunphy shaping minds 36 00:01:24,829 --> 00:01:27,162 in the hallowed halls of Sequoia Community College, 37 00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:29,698 established 2016. 38 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:36,000 As you can see from this graph, it's not about X's and Y's. 39 00:01:36,207 --> 00:01:40,142 It's about oohs and ahs. 40 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,480 Okay. 41 00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:47,349 So, what does real estate equal? 42 00:01:47,451 --> 00:01:50,752 80%... 43 00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:52,754 eye contact. 44 00:01:57,862 --> 00:02:02,862 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 45 00:02:07,569 --> 00:02:09,302 All right. Your breakfast is almost ready. 46 00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:11,638 You're gonna need all your energy for the courtroom today 47 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,073 in case you have to yell, "I'm out of order? 48 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,875 You're out of order. The whole damn system's out of order!" 49 00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:17,210 Might not do that. 50 00:02:17,312 --> 00:02:18,945 I think I'm winning, so big fan of the system right now. 51 00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:20,313 - Anyway, it can't hurt - Cam. 52 00:02:20,415 --> 00:02:22,949 to have some experienced eyes take a look at this police work. 53 00:02:23,051 --> 00:02:24,918 Sloppy. Sloppy, sloppy. 54 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,787 Okay, I know you fancy yourself some sort of detective. 55 00:02:27,889 --> 00:02:30,657 You know, I was quite the amateur sleuth as a boy, 56 00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:32,225 a real-life Encyclopedia Brown. 57 00:02:32,327 --> 00:02:33,727 They called me Thesaurus Jones. 58 00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:35,895 What I really need right now is just a few minutes of silence, 59 00:02:35,998 --> 00:02:37,597 - just like... - I would say my toughest case 60 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,233 was "The Case of the Missing Snowman." 61 00:02:40,335 --> 00:02:42,435 You know, at first, I thought he'd come to life, 62 00:02:42,504 --> 00:02:43,903 - but turns out... - Shh! My trial! 63 00:02:44,006 --> 00:02:45,205 Today marks the fourth day 64 00:02:45,307 --> 00:02:47,007 of witness questioning by the DA's office. 65 00:02:47,109 --> 00:02:49,042 - My God. - Is that you? 66 00:02:49,144 --> 00:02:50,176 I look like an elf that just walked 67 00:02:50,278 --> 00:02:51,444 into his own surprise party. 68 00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:52,979 No, it's like the time we tried to microwave a squash. 69 00:02:53,081 --> 00:02:55,649 I... Okay, this is my first big trial, 70 00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,617 a-a chance to make a name for myself. 71 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,487 All anyone's gonna be talking about is that awful picture! 72 00:03:00,589 --> 00:03:02,055 Okay, this is a disaster. 73 00:03:02,157 --> 00:03:04,491 Th... There's a place downtown where all the lawyers go to drink. 74 00:03:04,593 --> 00:03:05,759 It's called The Side Bar. 75 00:03:05,861 --> 00:03:07,727 They put courtroom sketches on the wall 76 00:03:07,829 --> 00:03:09,262 of everyone's first big trial. 77 00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:10,397 Maybe nobody saw it. 78 00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:12,932 Um... 79 00:03:13,035 --> 00:03:15,435 Don't assume the worst. It could just be an Amber Alert. 80 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,605 - Hey, Dad. - Yo. 81 00:03:18,674 --> 00:03:20,473 Since it's our first day with our new partners, 82 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,875 I thought maybe you could get to work 83 00:03:21,977 --> 00:03:24,077 as close to on time as poss... 84 00:03:24,179 --> 00:03:25,812 I will try my best. 85 00:03:26,782 --> 00:03:28,415 Hi. 86 00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:30,150 I'm sorry. Am I late? 87 00:03:30,218 --> 00:03:31,384 No, no, no, no. 88 00:03:31,486 --> 00:03:33,019 And we're not real time sticklers here. 89 00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:34,621 We've found that team members really excel 90 00:03:34,723 --> 00:03:35,989 when they follow their own energy rhythms. 91 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,357 Interesting, 'cause I've found 92 00:03:37,459 --> 00:03:38,758 team members are happiest 93 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,694 when the company stays in business, 94 00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:43,296 which means asses in chairs by 9:00. 95 00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:46,466 Dad, could I just have a quick... quick sec with you? 96 00:03:46,568 --> 00:03:47,701 Sure. 97 00:03:47,803 --> 00:03:50,503 Um... so, Dad, look, 98 00:03:50,572 --> 00:03:52,806 the culture is just different here. 99 00:03:52,908 --> 00:03:55,008 And you just can't come in with a sledgehammer, 100 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,376 or it's gonna create tension. 101 00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:58,211 You don't want to alienate people. 102 00:03:58,313 --> 00:04:00,113 - So you want me to change who I am? - No. 103 00:04:00,215 --> 00:04:02,782 I just want you to hide who you are. 104 00:04:02,884 --> 00:04:05,318 I mean, come on. Just a little bit. Let's get rid of this. 105 00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:06,686 Look at that. That's better already. 106 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,622 Who is this 50-something? 107 00:04:09,691 --> 00:04:11,791 - Fine. I will be on my best behavior. - Thanks, Dad. 108 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,496 - So sorry about that. - Well, it's no problem. 109 00:04:16,598 --> 00:04:18,231 Family time is so important. 110 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,500 That's why we offer 14 months paid paternity leave. 111 00:04:20,602 --> 00:04:21,801 Kay. 112 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,204 Let's see an update on that Thinfinity model. 113 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,372 Ooh. Cool design. 114 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,241 - Who do I high-five for that? - Everybody. 115 00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:30,910 Our design meetings are organized around burstiness, 116 00:04:31,012 --> 00:04:32,912 which is a rapid-fire creative process 117 00:04:33,014 --> 00:04:35,248 that really just unlocks the unconscious. 118 00:04:36,451 --> 00:04:38,384 Does anybody else find that distracting? 119 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,920 Actually, it's great for left-brain stimulation. 120 00:04:40,956 --> 00:04:41,956 I got winner! 121 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,456 We don't keep score. 122 00:04:43,525 --> 00:04:45,358 - No? - Watch out! 123 00:04:45,427 --> 00:04:46,493 What the hell?! 124 00:04:46,561 --> 00:04:48,027 You don't know about Zorbing? 125 00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:49,529 It promotes mind/body balance. 126 00:04:49,598 --> 00:04:51,664 It's kind of like the German version of Flerming. 127 00:04:51,733 --> 00:04:52,733 Okay, that's it. 128 00:04:52,801 --> 00:04:54,534 Now, I'm about to introduce you squids 129 00:04:54,636 --> 00:04:55,802 to a little thing called back-breaking, 130 00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:59,638 soul-crushing hard work. 131 00:04:59,679 --> 00:05:01,846 How many heart attacks have you had here in the last five years? 132 00:05:01,948 --> 00:05:03,915 Zero? Where am I?! 133 00:05:03,983 --> 00:05:05,750 America loves closets, 134 00:05:05,819 --> 00:05:08,052 and I'm here to build them, damn it! 135 00:05:09,088 --> 00:05:12,457 And you get this back when I see people pull up in the morning 136 00:05:12,525 --> 00:05:14,091 crying in their cars. 137 00:05:16,262 --> 00:05:17,795 Yeah. 138 00:05:20,134 --> 00:05:22,568 Okay, must you? 139 00:05:22,637 --> 00:05:24,370 You know what, we are gonna make sure 140 00:05:24,438 --> 00:05:26,872 that sketch artist sees the best possible version of you. 141 00:05:26,941 --> 00:05:28,741 Let's get those apples a-shining! 142 00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:30,209 Okay, okay, stop. Don't! 143 00:05:30,278 --> 00:05:32,244 Okay, your face gets weird when you make that "O" sound, 144 00:05:32,346 --> 00:05:33,812 so avoid that. 145 00:05:33,881 --> 00:05:34,881 A-Are you serious? 146 00:05:34,916 --> 00:05:36,515 The defendant runs the Orange County 147 00:05:36,584 --> 00:05:39,051 Oceanic and Ornithological Organization. 148 00:05:39,165 --> 00:05:40,531 - That was hard to watch. - Wha... 149 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,100 All rise. 150 00:05:42,202 --> 00:05:43,601 Last looks. 151 00:05:44,704 --> 00:05:46,137 Be seated. 152 00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:49,707 Mr. Pritchett, you may resume your questioning of the witness. 153 00:05:49,776 --> 00:05:51,309 Okay. 154 00:05:51,411 --> 00:05:53,277 Mitchell. Mitchell. He's here. 155 00:05:53,346 --> 00:05:55,279 Only give him your best side. 156 00:05:55,348 --> 00:05:57,081 Avoid the fluorescent lights, no O's, 157 00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:59,316 and whatever you do, do not stand next to the bailiff. 158 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,019 He is breathtaking! 159 00:06:01,088 --> 00:06:02,287 My God. 160 00:06:02,389 --> 00:06:03,589 Counselor? 161 00:06:03,657 --> 00:06:05,791 Sorry, Your Honor. Um... 162 00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:07,226 - Miss Carpenter... - Bad side! 163 00:06:07,294 --> 00:06:12,498 ...do you recall seeing this man on the night in question? 164 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,265 Yes, sir. 165 00:06:14,314 --> 00:06:17,282 And is he, to your knowledge, the C.E.O... 166 00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:20,719 of the Orange County Oceanic and Ornithological Organization? 167 00:06:20,787 --> 00:06:22,220 Counselor, you're mumbling. 168 00:06:22,322 --> 00:06:23,455 Can you repeat that, please? 169 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,523 Does he run the bird and water place? 170 00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:29,260 - He does. - And is he here today in this... 171 00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:33,766 As I was saying... Little further. 172 00:06:33,835 --> 00:06:38,738 ...is he here today in this, in this courtroom? 173 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,006 That's him. 174 00:06:40,074 --> 00:06:42,041 Let the court note that I am pretty sure 175 00:06:42,143 --> 00:06:45,111 that the witness has identified the defendant. 176 00:06:52,263 --> 00:06:53,328 Elbow patches? 177 00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:55,531 Did you burn through another blazer at Benihana's? 178 00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,666 Actually, it is for my new position 179 00:06:57,768 --> 00:07:00,535 teaching real estate at your school. 180 00:07:00,614 --> 00:07:01,713 What are you talking about? 181 00:07:01,815 --> 00:07:02,948 They offered me a job. 182 00:07:03,017 --> 00:07:04,516 But hey, listen... listen to me. 183 00:07:04,618 --> 00:07:06,184 Lifelong dreams aside, 184 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:07,686 I'm not taking this unless you're on board. 185 00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:08,887 I'm definitely not. 186 00:07:10,491 --> 00:07:11,757 I get it. 187 00:07:11,825 --> 00:07:13,425 Don't want your old Pops cramping your style, 188 00:07:13,494 --> 00:07:14,760 so I'm... I'm out. 189 00:07:14,795 --> 00:07:15,994 It's just funny. 190 00:07:16,096 --> 00:07:18,163 Can't remember the last time I was this excited. 191 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:19,369 But it wouldn't... wouldn't make any sense 192 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:20,637 unless you were excited, too. 193 00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:23,140 Not even a little bit. 194 00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,475 Right. 195 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:27,644 Those poor kids, though? I have so much to offer. 196 00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:28,912 For example, 197 00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:32,516 which house styles are sold by which cookie type? 198 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:34,618 French Revival... French accent] macaroons. 199 00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,019 English Tudor... 200 00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:37,287 shortbread. 201 00:07:38,657 --> 00:07:41,124 But... we both know what you want, 202 00:07:41,242 --> 00:07:43,642 so, I'll resign and go back 203 00:07:43,678 --> 00:07:46,779 to trying to figure out what to do with my final years. 204 00:07:46,881 --> 00:07:47,946 Okay. 205 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:54,582 I need a place to stay for a couple of days. 206 00:07:54,651 --> 00:07:55,784 Can't go home, can't go to school, 207 00:07:55,886 --> 00:07:57,052 don't want to talk about it. 208 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,286 Got it. 209 00:07:58,355 --> 00:08:00,622 I knew that Alex wanted to talk about it, 210 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:02,824 but I had a lot on my mind. 211 00:08:02,926 --> 00:08:04,959 I had a rough morning with Joe. 212 00:08:05,062 --> 00:08:07,662 Have a great first day. 213 00:08:07,731 --> 00:08:09,798 Aren't you gonna walk me in? 214 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,767 No. In first grade, you have drop-off. 215 00:08:12,861 --> 00:08:15,361 No one said anything about drop-off. 216 00:08:15,430 --> 00:08:17,196 What if I can't find my cubby? 217 00:08:17,265 --> 00:08:19,465 They don't have cubbies. They have lockers here. 218 00:08:19,501 --> 00:08:22,302 Wait. Wait a second. Where's my lunchbox? 219 00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:24,837 I signed you up for the hot-lunch program. 220 00:08:24,906 --> 00:08:27,440 What is this place? 221 00:08:27,972 --> 00:08:29,505 Okay, I've been feeling some pressure 222 00:08:29,607 --> 00:08:31,407 about what to do after I graduate this year, 223 00:08:31,475 --> 00:08:33,409 and my parents are constantly asking me about it. 224 00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:35,411 I thought that you were going to work. 225 00:08:35,446 --> 00:08:39,214 So did I, but lately, I've been questioning everything. 226 00:08:39,283 --> 00:08:40,916 I even thought about becoming a fellow. 227 00:08:41,018 --> 00:08:43,452 Ay, Alex, that's a big change. 228 00:08:43,521 --> 00:08:45,587 But at least you get to keep the same name. 229 00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:47,222 I'm not even sure it's what I really want. 230 00:08:47,258 --> 00:08:48,424 Okay, you have to be very sure, 231 00:08:48,492 --> 00:08:51,593 because I heard it's even harder to reverse it. 232 00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,184 Can we talk about anything else? Where's Joe? 233 00:08:53,253 --> 00:08:54,886 He started school today. 234 00:08:54,954 --> 00:08:57,588 He was so panicky when I dropped him off. 235 00:08:57,657 --> 00:08:59,490 I don't know why. It's just first grade. 236 00:08:59,526 --> 00:09:00,758 Just first grade?! 237 00:09:00,827 --> 00:09:01,959 That's when the pressure starts! 238 00:09:02,061 --> 00:09:04,028 Ay! You're freaking me out! 239 00:09:04,097 --> 00:09:07,398 Alex is going to be a very nervous man. 240 00:09:09,068 --> 00:09:11,102 E-excuse me, sketch man. 241 00:09:11,171 --> 00:09:13,217 We'd like a word with you about your little drawings. 242 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,972 - Yes. - You don't remember me, do you? 243 00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:18,042 It's... Um... 244 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:20,624 Well, obviously, we have offended you somehow. 245 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,060 Were you the barista we had fired? 246 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,097 Here's a hint... I once stayed in your upstairs rental. 247 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,036 Who consumes an entire welcome basket? 248 00:09:29,105 --> 00:09:31,071 We usually reuse half this stuff. 249 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:32,673 All the Altoids. He was here one night. 250 00:09:32,775 --> 00:09:34,808 He... He even ate the horseradish mustard. 251 00:09:34,877 --> 00:09:36,010 What did he put it on? 252 00:09:36,078 --> 00:09:38,186 We purposely don't give crackers. 253 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:42,683 - Hey. - Hey. 254 00:09:43,259 --> 00:09:45,292 We are so sorry we offended you, but... 255 00:09:45,394 --> 00:09:46,994 Ooh, too late. 256 00:09:47,096 --> 00:09:48,128 I own you two. 257 00:09:48,197 --> 00:09:50,464 And I haven't even gotten to my best stuff yet. 258 00:09:50,566 --> 00:09:52,166 I can go redder. 259 00:09:52,234 --> 00:09:53,500 You wouldn't. 260 00:09:53,602 --> 00:09:55,235 Just wait till I connect the brows. 261 00:09:55,337 --> 00:09:57,671 Please. We have a child. 262 00:09:59,275 --> 00:10:01,108 Fun... a reporter from CNN. 263 00:10:01,177 --> 00:10:04,411 Looks like this pretty little portrait's about to go national. 264 00:10:04,446 --> 00:10:06,713 What... What are we gonna do? 265 00:10:06,798 --> 00:10:08,264 Okay, is it just me, or does this sound 266 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,832 like a job for Thesaurus Jones? 267 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,701 - It's just you. - No. Blackmail, Mitchell! 268 00:10:11,769 --> 00:10:14,237 We just have to dig something up on this guy. 269 00:10:14,339 --> 00:10:17,473 Shouldn't be a problem, because everyone's hiding something. 270 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,774 Everyone. 271 00:10:18,843 --> 00:10:21,143 I feel like you're sitting on one more... 272 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,678 - Everyone. - Yep. 273 00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:28,932 Shh! Shh! Shh! 274 00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:31,768 Just as I feared, my dad had crushed the spirit 275 00:10:31,837 --> 00:10:33,937 of everyone in that office. 276 00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:35,272 I had to do something to prove 277 00:10:35,374 --> 00:10:37,274 we weren't some stuffy killjoys. 278 00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:39,409 It was time to bust out Party Claire. 279 00:10:40,646 --> 00:10:42,713 She'd retired after spring break '89. 280 00:10:42,815 --> 00:10:45,382 And again in '92. 281 00:10:46,418 --> 00:10:47,818 Hey, do you have a second? 282 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,920 If this is about my respecting your process... 283 00:10:50,022 --> 00:10:52,489 Actually, we want to thank you for laying down the law before. 284 00:10:52,558 --> 00:10:54,391 Because we have gone soft as a company, 285 00:10:54,493 --> 00:10:55,992 we needed a couple grown-ups to come in 286 00:10:56,095 --> 00:10:58,228 and put us back on track. You know, thanks to you, 287 00:10:58,330 --> 00:10:59,496 we've gotten rid of all the distractions... 288 00:10:59,598 --> 00:11:01,565 no more ping-pong tables, squirt guns. 289 00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:03,567 The only thing we couldn't find was that giant... 290 00:11:03,669 --> 00:11:05,202 Break time, bitches! 291 00:11:07,072 --> 00:11:08,538 It turns out this is a little... 292 00:11:08,607 --> 00:11:10,006 My God! The Thinfinity! 293 00:11:10,109 --> 00:11:11,141 I'm so sorry! 294 00:11:11,243 --> 00:11:12,909 My God! I'm so sorry! 295 00:11:13,011 --> 00:11:14,444 I...! 296 00:11:17,516 --> 00:11:18,615 Sorry. 297 00:11:24,443 --> 00:11:27,043 Sketch boy was unusually well-groomed 298 00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:30,046 for somebody coming out of a government-subsidized gym. 299 00:11:30,115 --> 00:11:31,714 Something wasn't right. 300 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,450 I was getting that old Thesaurus Jones tingle. 301 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:35,952 I decided to do some sniffing around. 302 00:11:37,455 --> 00:11:39,689 Sketch guy's face had a kind of glow 303 00:11:39,724 --> 00:11:42,525 that can only be achieved with expensive creams and unguents, 304 00:11:42,627 --> 00:11:45,628 yet all I found were packets of cut-rate all-purpose lotions. 305 00:11:46,631 --> 00:11:49,265 According to my sources, the gym had an executive level 306 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,001 that provides all manner of fancy spa products, 307 00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:54,270 but it's for judges and attorneys only. 308 00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:56,881 I created a diversion 309 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,450 by convincing the security detail 310 00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,884 there was a towel emergency... 311 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,853 There's a towel emergency. 312 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,093 ...and hacked into the gym's computer system. 313 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:11,363 Turns out Jonah's been accessing the executive level 314 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,199 by swiping the ID of one Victor Graham, 315 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,867 a retired judge. 316 00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:19,960 Members of the jury, 317 00:12:19,995 --> 00:12:22,329 the defendant, Mr. Kane, would have you believe 318 00:12:22,398 --> 00:12:24,998 that he was working at the time of the crime. 319 00:12:25,101 --> 00:12:26,333 Bald?! 320 00:12:28,104 --> 00:12:29,203 ...faced lies! 321 00:12:29,271 --> 00:12:31,071 Counselor? 322 00:12:32,141 --> 00:12:34,475 Because evidence would clearly suggest 323 00:12:34,577 --> 00:12:37,010 that, um... 324 00:12:37,113 --> 00:12:40,013 That while James Kane 325 00:12:40,289 --> 00:12:44,157 does have an office on his company's executive floor, 326 00:12:44,259 --> 00:12:46,326 he was nowhere near it that night. 327 00:12:46,428 --> 00:12:49,796 Nice try, executive-level Jim. 328 00:12:51,133 --> 00:12:52,432 ...Kane... 329 00:12:52,534 --> 00:12:53,867 but we're onto you. 330 00:12:53,936 --> 00:12:58,538 Ladies and gentlemen, before you've retired, judge... 331 00:12:59,174 --> 00:13:04,611 ...for yourself and draw a more accurate conclusion 332 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,447 than the one Mr. Kane would have you believe... 333 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:10,070 Counselor, you're speaking weirdly. 334 00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:12,640 I'm sure you will find the defendant's alibi 335 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:14,074 to be thin. 336 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:16,944 Even thinner. 337 00:13:23,964 --> 00:13:26,798 Good afternoon, young Realtors. 338 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,800 I have a very important announcement 339 00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:30,169 to make after class, 340 00:13:30,204 --> 00:13:32,838 but in the meantime, if you would be so kind 341 00:13:32,907 --> 00:13:34,773 as to open your books... 342 00:13:35,876 --> 00:13:37,543 Boy. I can't do this. 343 00:13:37,611 --> 00:13:41,647 Students, today is our last day together. 344 00:13:41,715 --> 00:13:43,715 Shh, shh. 345 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,508 I've treasured our time together. 346 00:13:46,544 --> 00:13:48,611 Brett, I know we got off to a rough start, 347 00:13:48,713 --> 00:13:50,279 but once we broke down those walls, 348 00:13:50,348 --> 00:13:51,780 I'm not sure who was teaching who. 349 00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:56,051 Whitney, you're the toughest single mother I know. 350 00:13:56,199 --> 00:13:57,765 Lucy, you be good to your mom. 351 00:13:59,102 --> 00:14:01,769 Bob, amazing how you battle that dyslexia. 352 00:14:01,804 --> 00:14:04,038 Maybe ease off on the anger toward your parents, though. 353 00:14:04,073 --> 00:14:05,740 They did you a solid giving you that name. 354 00:14:05,808 --> 00:14:07,508 We're gonna miss you, Mr. Nudphy. 355 00:14:07,544 --> 00:14:09,911 It's... You... You... You flipped it, but... 356 00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:11,405 I'm gonna miss you guys, too. 357 00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:15,983 Location. Location. Location. 358 00:14:16,052 --> 00:14:17,318 You memorized it. 359 00:14:18,421 --> 00:14:22,223 Now, for the second and last time... 360 00:14:22,292 --> 00:14:24,292 class dismissed. 361 00:14:27,305 --> 00:14:28,305 Dad. 362 00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:30,107 Luke? 363 00:14:30,176 --> 00:14:31,742 How long have you been back there? 364 00:14:31,811 --> 00:14:33,010 I pretty much saw the whole thing. 365 00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:36,714 - Hey, Dad? - Yeah? 366 00:14:37,817 --> 00:14:39,216 Don't forget your coffee mug. 367 00:14:39,318 --> 00:14:40,384 O- 368 00:14:43,265 --> 00:14:45,198 I'm sure this all worked out for the best. 369 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:46,733 I'll, probably miss 370 00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:49,502 a few spontaneous Frisbee opportunities and... 371 00:14:49,604 --> 00:14:51,638 apparently, a tumbling exchange program... 372 00:14:51,706 --> 00:14:54,674 well... and an Amateur Inventors Association. 373 00:14:54,743 --> 00:14:56,743 How much fun could it be changing the world, anyway? 374 00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:04,350 A Hall and Oates Magic Show." 375 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,373 - Dad, wait. - Yes, Luke? 376 00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:10,774 Don't forget your mug again. 377 00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,376 Come on! 378 00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:14,444 Can't you see I'm meant to be here? 379 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,080 I'm sorry, but I've never had a school to myself. 380 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:20,050 I was always Alex's dumb brother or Manny's hot nephew. 381 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:23,020 Now I can finally be my own person. 382 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,621 I'm sorry. I get it. 383 00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,490 I-I r... I-I really do. 384 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:28,025 I think I was just getting a little overexcited. 385 00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:29,993 I'll... 386 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,228 I'll see you at home. 387 00:15:34,127 --> 00:15:35,292 Dunphy. 388 00:15:35,361 --> 00:15:37,828 Glad I ran into you so I can congratulate you personally. 389 00:15:37,930 --> 00:15:39,697 - Wait. I made the team? - First string. 390 00:15:39,766 --> 00:15:41,766 I got to say, your form on that lineout lift 391 00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:43,501 was impeccable. 392 00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:44,902 - Thanks. - Yeah. 393 00:15:50,676 --> 00:15:52,276 Hey, Dad. I made the team. 394 00:15:52,378 --> 00:15:55,913 That's amazing! I knew you would. You're a natural. 395 00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:57,494 Well, I had a great teacher. 396 00:15:57,596 --> 00:15:58,729 Aww! 397 00:15:59,799 --> 00:16:01,198 So, listen. 398 00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:02,833 This is a big campus. 399 00:16:02,902 --> 00:16:04,401 Maybe we could both be here 400 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:07,204 if we promise to stay out of each other's way. 401 00:16:08,893 --> 00:16:10,626 Well, I'd hate to step on your toes. 402 00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:12,461 No, no, y-you wouldn't. 403 00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:13,596 I would hate to stop you 404 00:16:13,631 --> 00:16:14,964 from doing something you're so good at. 405 00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:16,499 I guess I could think about it. 406 00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:19,301 I mean, it's not like I'd be there all the time. 407 00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:22,338 I, have class and office hours, 408 00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:24,774 and I have the 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. slot 409 00:16:24,842 --> 00:16:28,544 at the campus radio station on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 410 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,780 Hey, if you want to be my sidekick... 411 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:32,848 - Dad? - You're right. 412 00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:34,316 It's better if I do all the voices. 413 00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:35,551 What's up?! 414 00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:40,216 What's all this? 415 00:16:40,285 --> 00:16:43,252 Well, you got me so nervous about Joe's terrible day 416 00:16:43,321 --> 00:16:45,788 that I put all this out to cheer him up... 417 00:16:45,857 --> 00:16:47,823 sundae, video game. 418 00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:50,397 I even wrote him a little pep talk. 419 00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:52,299 We're lucky to live in the golden age of medicines. 420 00:16:52,368 --> 00:16:54,101 Hey, Grandpa, I'm staying here for a couple of days, 421 00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:55,369 and I do not want to talk about it. 422 00:16:55,437 --> 00:16:56,437 Cool. 423 00:16:56,539 --> 00:16:58,839 That's Joe. 424 00:17:01,644 --> 00:17:03,777 Hey, is my dad home? 425 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,379 Crap. What is my mom doing here? 426 00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:06,914 Come with me. 427 00:17:07,016 --> 00:17:08,315 I owe him an apology. 428 00:17:08,384 --> 00:17:10,651 I made a huge scene at work. 429 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,787 Well, sometimes the best way to say "I'm sorry" 430 00:17:13,890 --> 00:17:15,089 is in an e-mail. 431 00:17:15,157 --> 00:17:19,760 Why don't you write him at JaysComputerMail@aol.com? 432 00:17:20,364 --> 00:17:23,598 I plowed over a bunch of people in a giant hamster ball. 433 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,100 And then I tried to impress the foodies 434 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,801 by ordering Indian for lunch. 435 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,270 And then I chewed some gum 436 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,838 to get rid of my coriander breath, 437 00:17:29,907 --> 00:17:31,573 and I'm pretty sure some's in my hair. 438 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,408 And then I... 439 00:17:33,477 --> 00:17:35,644 tripped and fell and skinned my knee, 440 00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:37,446 and everybody saw my underwear. 441 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,615 Crushed it! 442 00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:41,483 First days are easy when you're cool. 443 00:17:41,585 --> 00:17:44,419 I do feel bad for Conner B. 444 00:17:44,488 --> 00:17:47,155 He brought stinky egg salad for lunch. 445 00:17:47,224 --> 00:17:49,758 He's gonna have to eat with the nurse. 446 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,126 - God! - Ay. 447 00:17:51,161 --> 00:17:53,395 Joe, why don't you go upstairs? 448 00:17:55,005 --> 00:17:56,438 I just want to go back to my old office, 449 00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:57,806 where I had friends. 450 00:17:57,908 --> 00:17:59,341 I know. 451 00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:00,609 Sometimes... 452 00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:03,412 ...you know, we all have bad days. 453 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,891 And... 454 00:18:06,927 --> 00:18:11,529 And sometimes, we have to... to deal with mean boys. 455 00:18:11,598 --> 00:18:12,830 Boys are mean. 456 00:18:12,899 --> 00:18:14,432 You're right, Gloria. 457 00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:16,801 I am right? 458 00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:19,270 You know what I love about this family? 459 00:18:19,339 --> 00:18:23,741 Mnh-mnh. We're not quitters... especially you. 460 00:18:24,498 --> 00:18:28,800 Remember how hard it was for you to learn how to swim? 461 00:18:28,902 --> 00:18:30,202 It was hard. 462 00:18:31,171 --> 00:18:34,072 But now it's your favorite thing in the world 463 00:18:34,141 --> 00:18:37,676 because it reminds you of how strong you are. 464 00:18:37,745 --> 00:18:39,378 I mean, I like to swim... 465 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,346 Tomorrow can only be better. 466 00:18:42,516 --> 00:18:44,216 But just in case, I'll come at lunch, 467 00:18:44,251 --> 00:18:46,785 and I will kiss you through the fence. 468 00:18:48,385 --> 00:18:50,051 How about I text you around 11:00 469 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,419 and let you know how I'm doing? 470 00:18:51,488 --> 00:18:54,222 So, you want to tell me why you're avoiding your mom? 471 00:18:54,324 --> 00:18:56,824 I'm not avoiding her. Hey, what's... what's all this? 472 00:18:56,893 --> 00:18:59,594 Danger O'Shea memorabilia. I'm a big collector. 473 00:18:59,696 --> 00:19:01,930 - Who's Danger O'Shea? - Legendary daredevil. 474 00:19:01,998 --> 00:19:05,099 Got famous for jumping over a school bus on his motorcycle. 475 00:19:05,157 --> 00:19:06,523 Get over here! Talk to me. 476 00:19:06,592 --> 00:19:08,225 Tell me why you're avoiding your mom. 477 00:19:08,327 --> 00:19:09,526 Okay. 478 00:19:09,561 --> 00:19:11,895 Well, I've been on a science track my whole life, 479 00:19:11,997 --> 00:19:14,531 which my parents love... "Alex the scientist." 480 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,867 But... lately, I've been having second thoughts. 481 00:19:18,235 --> 00:19:20,936 I've always loved singing, and... and I've been doing 482 00:19:21,038 --> 00:19:22,637 some open-mic nights recently, 483 00:19:22,706 --> 00:19:24,373 and it's been going really well. 484 00:19:24,441 --> 00:19:26,508 I see where this is going. Sing for me. 485 00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:28,443 What, like... right now? 486 00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:29,811 Just sing. 487 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,390 That was great. 488 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,192 Stick to science. 489 00:19:44,294 --> 00:19:47,229 Wow. You really got a knack for pep talks in this house. 490 00:19:47,331 --> 00:19:49,364 I'm not saying it's impossible. 491 00:19:49,466 --> 00:19:50,665 I'm saying play the odds. 492 00:19:50,768 --> 00:19:52,868 For example, you take this O'Shea guy. 493 00:19:52,936 --> 00:19:53,969 Good. We're back to him. 494 00:19:54,071 --> 00:19:57,739 But he was smart. He started a business, got established. 495 00:19:57,841 --> 00:19:59,474 And when he couldn't kick the daredevil dream, 496 00:19:59,576 --> 00:20:00,742 he went for it. 497 00:20:00,811 --> 00:20:02,511 And he was good... real good... 498 00:20:02,613 --> 00:20:04,146 until that fateful day he tried to jump 499 00:20:04,281 --> 00:20:07,015 over a motorcycle in a school bus. 500 00:20:07,117 --> 00:20:09,418 Fortunately for him, unlike his act, 501 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,619 he had a safety net. 502 00:20:10,721 --> 00:20:12,487 - His business. - Jumped right back in. 503 00:20:12,589 --> 00:20:13,989 Within a year, it was bigger than ever. 504 00:20:14,091 --> 00:20:17,025 The point is, you've been on the science track for 15 years. 505 00:20:17,127 --> 00:20:19,594 See it through. Build a foundation. 506 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:22,864 If in a couple of years, you still have the singing bug, go for it! 507 00:20:22,966 --> 00:20:24,733 I guess you're right. 508 00:20:24,802 --> 00:20:26,168 It would be pretty dumb of me 509 00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:28,036 to give up on the career path I'm on. 510 00:20:28,138 --> 00:20:30,405 I could make half a mil my first year out of school. 511 00:20:30,507 --> 00:20:32,140 Wow! What do they pay men? 512 00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:37,546 So, Danger never did another stunt again? 513 00:20:37,648 --> 00:20:40,382 He still brings that maverick spirit to everything he does, 514 00:20:40,451 --> 00:20:42,350 which is why he got to the top of his industry. 515 00:20:42,453 --> 00:20:45,387 Some people think it's the greatest stunt he ever pulled off. 516 00:20:46,824 --> 00:20:49,057 Thanks for the talk... 517 00:20:49,159 --> 00:20:50,659 Danger. 518 00:20:52,457 --> 00:20:55,289 So, I won my case, and even better, 519 00:20:55,391 --> 00:20:57,658 - this is going up at The Side Bar. - Yeah. 520 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,260 And now maybe you'll have some respect 521 00:20:59,362 --> 00:21:00,561 for my investigative skills. 522 00:21:00,663 --> 00:21:03,197 It was a pretty simple case, because, as I've said, 523 00:21:03,299 --> 00:21:05,718 everyone has something to hide. 524 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,797 Everyone. 525 00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:19,487 - You know... - Everyone. 526 00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:24,512 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com