1
00:00:02,812 --> 00:00:04,677
I think I'm failing
Psychopharmacology.
2
00:00:04,881 --> 00:00:06,280
Why are you taking that?
3
00:00:06,482 --> 00:00:09,883
I thought it was a class
about crazy farm animals, okay?
4
00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:12,054
Let's finish the unit.
I don't wanna be late for lunch.
5
00:00:12,255 --> 00:00:14,689
Amar is to love, right?
6
00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:18,918
Oh, speaking of love, Shirley, how's
it going with the sexy dreadlock guy?
7
00:00:19,128 --> 00:00:21,119
Oh, I'm sure I don't have
a chance with him.
8
00:00:21,698 --> 00:00:23,256
Abed and I talked to him
by the vending machine.
9
00:00:23,466 --> 00:00:25,866
He asked about you.
He specifically asked about me?
10
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:29,266
When Annie brought you up, he
specifically asked, "Who is that?"
11
00:00:30,039 --> 00:00:31,028
Abed.
Oh.
12
00:00:31,708 --> 00:00:32,766
What?
That's what he said.
13
00:00:32,976 --> 00:00:35,843
Abed, your social skills
aren't exactly streets ahead.
14
00:00:36,045 --> 00:00:37,637
You know what I mean?
I don't.
15
00:00:37,847 --> 00:00:39,337
You're not alone in this case.
Pierce.
16
00:00:39,549 --> 00:00:41,779
Stop trying to coin the phrase,
"Streets ahead."
17
00:00:41,985 --> 00:00:44,112
Trying? Ha, ha.
18
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,185
Coined and minted.
19
00:00:46,389 --> 00:00:47,788
Been there, coined that.
20
00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:50,790
"Streets ahead" is verbal wildfire.
21
00:00:50,994 --> 00:00:55,055
Does it just mean cool, or is it
supposed to be like miles ahead?
22
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,429
If you have to ask,
you're streets behind.
23
00:00:57,634 --> 00:00:59,124
Okay. We can banter
if we wanna banter.
24
00:00:59,335 --> 00:01:02,133
But I'm leaving for lunch early.
Me too.
25
00:01:02,338 --> 00:01:03,464
Me three.
Streets ahead.
26
00:01:03,673 --> 00:01:06,437
Man, you guys really love these
stupid chicken fingers, huh?
27
00:01:06,643 --> 00:01:09,771
They're not stupid, they're the
only good thing in the cafeteria.
28
00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:12,072
I haven't had one in weeks.
They run out so fast.
29
00:01:12,282 --> 00:01:13,874
If God were edible,
not that I'm Catholic,
30
00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:16,449
but if it was cool to eat God,
he'd be a chicken finger.
31
00:01:16,653 --> 00:01:17,642
Mm-hm.
32
00:01:18,087 --> 00:01:20,146
Well, I wouldn't know.
I'm a vegetarian.
33
00:01:20,356 --> 00:01:21,653
Oh, shocker.
Yeah.
34
00:01:21,858 --> 00:01:24,588
And if you guys knew how they treated
the animals that you're eating,
35
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:27,854
you'd eat them even faster just
to put them out of their misery.
36
00:01:28,064 --> 00:01:30,157
And then you would throw up.
37
00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:33,995
I don't know, maybe I'm feeling
extra protective of animals today
38
00:01:34,203 --> 00:01:35,727
because my cat is sick.
39
00:01:35,938 --> 00:01:37,337
Oh, a cat?
That's awful.
40
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:38,700
He has diabetes.
41
00:01:38,908 --> 00:01:40,842
He can't even make it
to the litter box.
44
00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:50,175
Mm-hm.
45
00:01:50,386 --> 00:01:52,047
Aw, go on.
God bless you.
46
00:01:52,255 --> 00:01:54,985
Save some for me.
Watch out.
47
00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:06,163
Oh. I can hear those
fingers calling my name.
48
00:02:06,369 --> 00:02:07,927
Troy.
Troy, Troy.
49
00:02:08,137 --> 00:02:10,799
Did you get my text message?
Did you get my text message?
50
00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:12,406
I think it's...
51
00:02:12,809 --> 00:02:14,299
Hi.
52
00:02:15,912 --> 00:02:19,143
I gotta stop hanging out with her.
She sounds like a chicken finger.
53
00:02:20,049 --> 00:02:21,038
Again?
54
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:24,242
Outrageous.
At least apologize.
55
00:02:24,454 --> 00:02:27,480
How can you just stand there
like a mute idiot?
56
00:02:30,793 --> 00:02:32,385
Ooh.
Well,
57
00:02:32,595 --> 00:02:33,755
throat surgery
might humanize you.
58
00:02:33,963 --> 00:02:35,590
But it doesn't make
this acceptable.
59
00:02:35,798 --> 00:02:37,493
So cute.
60
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,725
And I don't even normally
like dreadlocks.
61
00:02:39,936 --> 00:02:41,699
Hello.
62
00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:45,407
His dreadlocks remind me
of the Predator.
63
00:02:45,608 --> 00:02:46,768
Which is weird because
64
00:02:46,976 --> 00:02:50,002
you're doing the actual hunting,
and you seem invisible to him.
65
00:02:52,315 --> 00:02:53,680
Abed, you know what I do?
66
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,510
Before I talk, I ask myself:
67
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:56,878
"What am I about to say?
68
00:02:57,086 --> 00:02:59,452
And how might it affect
each person listening?"
69
00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:00,986
I'm really glad you said that,
Britta.
70
00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:02,953
The idea that you
compulsively filter yourself
71
00:03:03,159 --> 00:03:04,751
makes your lack of flavor
kind of a flavor.
72
00:03:06,929 --> 00:03:10,956
Sorry, guys, they ran out again.
Something's gotta be done.
73
00:03:12,335 --> 00:03:14,530
Oh, I love chicken fingers.
74
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,261
Hey.
Oh, you're the man.
75
00:03:17,106 --> 00:03:18,937
What the hell, man?
76
00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:21,705
That's half our problem
right there.
77
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:24,379
Star-Burns works the fryer
and skims fingers.
78
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,569
No way.
79
00:03:25,782 --> 00:03:29,013
He gives them to people just so
they'll act like he isn't Star-Burns.
80
00:03:29,218 --> 00:03:32,483
Well, I may not eat meat, but I
am not gonna eat that injustice.
81
00:03:32,688 --> 00:03:33,677
Let's complain.
Yeah.
82
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:36,620
If we complain, he gets a warning
and learns to be sneakier.
83
00:03:36,826 --> 00:03:41,388
I say we knock him out of the kitchen and replace
him with one of our own all in one move.
84
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:42,928
Then we're the ones
with the chicken.
85
00:03:43,132 --> 00:03:44,121
It's like a mafia movie.
86
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:45,561
As far back as I can remember,
87
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,497
I always wanted to be in
a mafia movie.
88
00:03:47,703 --> 00:03:49,796
Cool.
That's exactly what it's like, Abed.
89
00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:52,998
And you get the most important job.
You're gonna be fry cook.
90
00:03:53,209 --> 00:03:54,608
We may be watching
different mafia movies.
91
00:03:54,811 --> 00:03:56,244
You worked in
your dad's restaurant, right?
92
00:03:56,446 --> 00:03:58,846
Well, you'll apply for the job
after we get Star-Burns fired.
93
00:03:59,048 --> 00:04:01,175
I don't know.
I don't know about the firing.
94
00:04:01,384 --> 00:04:04,012
I think he really relies on that income.
Yeah, man.
95
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,881
Every day you flock here
like sheep
96
00:04:06,088 --> 00:04:08,921
and wait in line for a broken
promise from a dirty system.
97
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:11,753
Back in those days, Jeff Winger was
the guy that made things happen.
98
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:15,124
He always knew what to say, and he
always knew when to slap the table.
99
00:04:15,331 --> 00:04:17,060
You wanna be sheep,
keep flocking.
100
00:04:17,266 --> 00:04:19,598
You wanna be wolves,
form a pack.
101
00:04:20,002 --> 00:04:21,993
And that was it. It was that simple.
102
00:04:22,205 --> 00:04:24,435
At that moment,
we stopped being a family
103
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,268
and started being a family
in italics.
104
00:04:28,678 --> 00:04:29,906
Britta got cozy with Star-Burns.
105
00:04:30,112 --> 00:04:31,409
Can I touch both of...? Oh.
Yeah.
106
00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:33,479
He lowered his guard.
107
00:04:34,717 --> 00:04:36,378
He was gone.
108
00:04:37,954 --> 00:04:40,320
I mean, the way Jeff saw it,
by not respecting us,
109
00:04:40,523 --> 00:04:42,320
Star-Burns had basically
brought it on himself.
110
00:04:42,525 --> 00:04:43,822
And when his job opened up,
111
00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:47,792
we did what we had to do to keep
the list of applicants to a minimum.
112
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:50,761
I had worked in my dad's falafel restaurant
, so I had a pretty impressive resume.
113
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:51,956
It's very impressive.
114
00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:55,626
Especially your reference.
Just give them a call right now.
115
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,703
But we weren't taking any chances.
The fix was in.
116
00:04:59,509 --> 00:05:01,909
Trump Tower, this is Donald.
117
00:05:02,111 --> 00:05:04,477
Well, he can deep-fry the hell out
of chicken I can tell you that.
118
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,309
Troy even applied for the same job and
gave the world's worst interview.
119
00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:11,180
Just to make me look better,
and that was that.
120
00:05:12,588 --> 00:05:15,887
This was the glorious time. No more
racing to the cafeteria. No more lines.
121
00:05:16,092 --> 00:05:19,220
To us, lines were for suckers,
hacks, sheep.
122
00:05:19,428 --> 00:05:21,396
We were wolves.
123
00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:23,861
And we had the chicken to prove it.
124
00:05:27,169 --> 00:05:28,261
To victory.
125
00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:31,338
It feels unfamiliar,
but it tastes like chicken.
126
00:05:34,644 --> 00:05:37,204
Hi.
Hello.
127
00:05:37,413 --> 00:05:39,278
You guys are lucky.
They're always running out.
128
00:05:39,682 --> 00:05:40,910
Would you like one?
129
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:45,377
The name's Shirley, memorize it.
I will, Shirley.
130
00:05:46,122 --> 00:05:47,453
See that, ladies?
131
00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:49,784
The universe goes by supply
and demand.
132
00:05:49,992 --> 00:05:52,688
The more you take and use,
the more it sends.
133
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,795
Somebody's been taking a little extra.
What's in that container?
134
00:05:54,997 --> 00:05:56,259
Eight fingers.
Abed.
135
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,389
Abed's study group.
136
00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:02,069
Why you giving Chang chicken?
We have an agreement.
137
00:06:02,271 --> 00:06:04,171
If you get caught skimming,
you get fired.
138
00:06:04,373 --> 00:06:08,537
We all go back to eating like Britta.
Yeah, we put you in that job.
139
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,803
I dressed like a crazy pharaoh
for you, man.
140
00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:12,947
You make the fingers, Abed,
not the decisions.
141
00:06:13,382 --> 00:06:15,043
I'm sorry.
It's okay, buddy.
142
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,549
But just remember,
these things have power.
143
00:06:17,954 --> 00:06:21,253
So just let me know next time you
have any more agreements, all right?
144
00:06:21,457 --> 00:06:23,482
Yeah, I agreed to give Chang
eight fingers per lunch
145
00:06:23,693 --> 00:06:26,662
in exchange for a 10 percent bump
on every Spanish test for each of us.
146
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:27,954
Oh.
147
00:06:28,164 --> 00:06:30,758
Okay, Abed makes the fingers
and the decisions.
148
00:06:30,967 --> 00:06:34,801
Yeah, I'm gonna
pass Spanish class.
149
00:06:36,005 --> 00:06:37,939
Oh, Abed, you're the best.
150
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,744
At Greendale, they were
always out of chicken fingers.
151
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:45,140
So whoever could get them
had power.
152
00:06:45,348 --> 00:06:47,714
And I the guy was in the apron,
so I came up with a system.
153
00:06:47,917 --> 00:06:50,545
And pretty soon half the chicken at
Greendale was going out the side door.
154
00:06:52,488 --> 00:06:55,616
Everybody in our crew had a job.
T- Bone was the bag man.
155
00:06:55,825 --> 00:06:59,124
He'd move the fingers to a storeroom
where two of the girls did the packaging.
156
00:06:59,328 --> 00:07:02,422
We could trust them not to eat the
supply because Britta was a vegetarian.
157
00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:05,931
And Shirley figured that if she stole,
she'd go to hell.
158
00:07:06,402 --> 00:07:10,463
They'd hand the stuff out the window to Annie.
She was the leg man, the distributor.
159
00:07:11,907 --> 00:07:14,671
The crazy thing was,
it was their food.
160
00:07:14,877 --> 00:07:18,313
And we were stealing it and giving it
back to them like it was a big favor.
161
00:07:18,514 --> 00:07:21,950
Nobody asked any questions, because
Pierce's experience as a CEO
162
00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:24,711
had taught him how
to keep the wheels from squeaking.
163
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,478
I had it all worked out
on a schedule.
164
00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:27,678
You know, I've never been fired.
165
00:07:27,890 --> 00:07:29,755
The minute before
you thought about busting us,
166
00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:32,120
that was the minute
you had chicken in your hand.
167
00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:34,888
It's just insulting that
you're eating his chicken fingers
168
00:07:35,097 --> 00:07:36,655
in front of me.
169
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:39,661
Everyone had their hand out.
Everyone wanted what we had.
170
00:07:39,869 --> 00:07:41,200
Oh. Well, here you go.
171
00:07:43,539 --> 00:07:45,166
And Jeff had
the most important job of all.
172
00:07:45,374 --> 00:07:47,501
He was at the top.
He was the boss.
173
00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:49,507
He was our leader.
174
00:07:49,712 --> 00:07:51,236
What the hell is going on?
175
00:07:51,447 --> 00:07:53,074
AV kids hooked it up.
176
00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:55,512
Abed supplied the whole
department with chicken fingers.
177
00:07:55,718 --> 00:07:58,585
You think that's good, check out
my posse and Troy's monkey.
178
00:07:58,788 --> 00:08:01,222
Troy, why do you have a monkey?
179
00:08:01,424 --> 00:08:03,255
It's an animal that
looks like a dude.
180
00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:04,687
Why don't I have 10 of them?
181
00:08:04,894 --> 00:08:08,352
Guys, look at what
Abed scored for me.
182
00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:10,825
It has a million zippers,
183
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,365
and it was free.
184
00:08:16,372 --> 00:08:18,863
Oh, robot.
I am a robot.
185
00:08:19,075 --> 00:08:21,441
I am programmed
to love this backpack.
186
00:08:21,644 --> 00:08:22,736
This is insane.
187
00:08:22,945 --> 00:08:26,711
More insane than programming
them to replace auto workers?
188
00:08:26,916 --> 00:08:27,974
What?
189
00:08:28,184 --> 00:08:31,620
Okay, okay, if you're not
in this study group, please...
190
00:08:32,455 --> 00:08:34,514
No, no.
That means you, sexy dreadlocks.
191
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:36,055
Britta's hairdresser.
What?
192
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:39,386
Pierce's hackneyed entourage.
Hackneyed?
193
00:08:39,595 --> 00:08:40,619
You see the turban guy?
194
00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:44,425
Yes, in a '90s ski movie
that featured an entourage.
195
00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:46,191
Don't you guys think
this is getting out of hand?
196
00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:47,391
We're not gonna get caught.
197
00:08:47,603 --> 00:08:48,695
We have campus security
on the take.
198
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,394
Abed's got it all figured out.
199
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,532
Well, that's a relief.
Yeah.
200
00:08:52,742 --> 00:08:55,870
It's pretty cool being friends
with the biggest man on campus.
201
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:57,943
Isn't that right, Annie's Boobs?
202
00:08:58,447 --> 00:08:59,675
Please rename that thing.
203
00:08:59,882 --> 00:09:01,907
And this time,
not with a contest on Twitter.
204
00:09:02,118 --> 00:09:03,983
It's his Twitter account.
He can do what he wants.
205
00:09:04,186 --> 00:09:05,778
They are my body parts.
206
00:09:05,988 --> 00:09:08,582
Know what I don't appreciate?
I do not consent to this.
207
00:09:08,791 --> 00:09:11,555
You'll be begging for his company.
I own that.
208
00:09:11,761 --> 00:09:14,889
I wouldn't threaten a monkey.
They have more lactic acid than us.
209
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,760
Shared my chicken with him.
Talk to the backpack.
210
00:09:18,968 --> 00:09:21,493
You're the worst, Annie.
Streets ahead.
211
00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:27,466
Now, where's he going?
212
00:09:30,079 --> 00:09:32,172
Line starts behind you.
Oh, he's cool.
213
00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:35,041
Six fingers every Wednesday.
214
00:09:35,251 --> 00:09:37,913
Cool. And what can you offer?
I have a bicycle.
215
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,578
And I teach beginner's tennis.
Cool, okay.
216
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:45,557
Six fingers Wednesdays,
all right.
217
00:09:45,995 --> 00:09:47,189
We'll be in touch, Janel.
218
00:09:47,396 --> 00:09:49,762
Thank you, Abed.
You're welcome.
219
00:09:50,366 --> 00:09:52,129
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, buddy.
220
00:09:52,835 --> 00:09:56,271
It's quite a setup you got here.
Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it.
221
00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:59,373
It turns out everyone has needs
and everyone has functions.
222
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:01,740
Look, I've been thinking.
223
00:10:01,944 --> 00:10:06,040
Maybe I need to hit the big red button
and bring an end to this operation.
224
00:10:06,248 --> 00:10:09,479
I mean, it's been fun,
but it's out of control now.
225
00:10:09,685 --> 00:10:11,118
Am I right?
I don't know.
226
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,015
The entire campus
is controlled by our group.
227
00:10:13,222 --> 00:10:16,988
Our group is controlled by chicken,
and the chicken is controlled by me.
228
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,150
Float?
I'm good.
229
00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:23,354
Abed, the mafia movie is over.
I'm not doing a mafia movie.
230
00:10:23,566 --> 00:10:26,967
In fact, I don't need to use movies or
TV shows to talk to people anymore.
231
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,831
Before I only needed them because the
day-to-day world made no sense to me.
232
00:10:30,039 --> 00:10:32,564
But now, everyone's speaking
the same language, chicken.
233
00:10:32,775 --> 00:10:34,709
I understand people
and they finally understand me.
234
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:37,538
Abed, eventually people
are gonna get tired of chicken.
235
00:10:37,746 --> 00:10:38,838
I'm tired of chicken.
236
00:10:39,048 --> 00:10:42,211
You're not tired of chicken.
You miss the taste of control.
237
00:10:43,152 --> 00:10:44,483
Well, that's crazy.
238
00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:47,346
Is it?
239
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,757
Unfortunately, the very thing
that drove you to this dorm room
240
00:10:52,962 --> 00:10:55,089
is what would prevent you
from properly running this machine.
241
00:10:55,297 --> 00:10:57,094
Or even being a cog in it, your ego.
242
00:11:00,903 --> 00:11:04,498
I see. I see, this has been
about me the whole time.
243
00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:09,208
You want a shot
at the Jeff Winger throne?
244
00:11:09,411 --> 00:11:10,878
You better bring a powerful ass.
245
00:11:11,847 --> 00:11:14,577
Oh, and for your information,
I don't have an ego.
246
00:11:14,783 --> 00:11:17,513
My Facebook photo
is a landscape.
247
00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:24,086
You're the best, Eduardo.
248
00:11:25,895 --> 00:11:27,021
Thank you all for coming.
249
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:30,289
Can we make this quick?
I need to give a banana to Annie's Boobs.
250
00:11:30,499 --> 00:11:32,057
Abed is drunk with chicken power.
251
00:11:32,268 --> 00:11:35,066
He's gone from lovable Johnny Five
to evil HAL.
252
00:11:35,271 --> 00:11:36,738
Hal Holb...
Not Hal Holbrook.
253
00:11:36,939 --> 00:11:40,204
What are you saying?
You all have to stop working for him.
254
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,674
Let this operation dry up
and let his wheels spin down.
255
00:11:43,879 --> 00:11:46,814
At which point you would
be in charge again, right?
256
00:11:47,016 --> 00:11:48,711
What?
This is so sad.
257
00:11:48,918 --> 00:11:51,250
You're jealous of Abed
because he's providing for us.
258
00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:55,218
No, I'm concerned about Abed
because he won't listen to reason.
259
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:56,721
Won't listen to your reason.
260
00:11:58,027 --> 00:11:59,619
Why should he?
Jeff's so not...
261
00:11:59,828 --> 00:12:01,557
Say, "Streets ahead," and die.
262
00:12:02,798 --> 00:12:04,163
Streets ahead.
263
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,926
You wanna boss me around?
264
00:12:06,135 --> 00:12:08,365
Get me an entourage.
Get Troy a monkey.
265
00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:10,561
That's what a real boss does.
Yes.
266
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:13,298
We probably shouldn't even be talking
to him without checking with Abed.
267
00:12:13,509 --> 00:12:16,410
I'm already trying him, he's not picking up.
What did you do with him?
268
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:19,581
I don't believe what greedy sellouts
you people turned out to be.
269
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:22,649
I'm not gonna stand and be ignored.
Shh. Voicemail.
270
00:12:22,851 --> 00:12:25,615
Hey, Abed, Jeff says you're
not listening to him.
271
00:12:25,821 --> 00:12:28,051
Does that mean we shouldn't
listen to him either?
272
00:12:28,257 --> 00:12:31,249
Oh, also, should we make special
jackets for our crime family?
273
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,792
Like blazers with
chicken finger patches.
274
00:12:33,996 --> 00:12:35,623
I don't know, long
message, I'm sorry.
275
00:12:35,831 --> 00:12:36,820
That's it.
276
00:12:37,032 --> 00:12:38,329
Oh!
Abed.
277
00:12:40,369 --> 00:12:41,700
Look, I'm walking out
this door right now.
278
00:12:41,904 --> 00:12:43,303
Okay.
Okay, bye.
279
00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:44,836
For real.
Good.
280
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,974
I'm not gonna look back.
Mm-hm.
281
00:12:47,176 --> 00:12:48,871
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
282
00:12:49,078 --> 00:12:51,478
Abed.
Hi, hi, yeah.
283
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,272
Anybody need anything?
Oh, everything,
284
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:54,471
you look handsome.
285
00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:57,174
I like everything about you now.
You get the message?
286
00:12:57,386 --> 00:12:59,980
I want a new hairdresser though.
287
00:13:03,042 --> 00:13:05,340
Hey. Oh.
288
00:13:11,284 --> 00:13:14,412
How's my hair look?
Oh. I like this.
289
00:13:20,326 --> 00:13:22,886
Yeah, I got you fired.
290
00:13:23,096 --> 00:13:26,964
You deserved it.
Maybe, maybe not.
291
00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:31,068
The question is,
what do they deserve?
292
00:13:37,043 --> 00:13:38,032
Key to the kitchen.
293
00:13:38,244 --> 00:13:42,647
There's a valve on the back of the
chicken fryer that's not made anymore.
294
00:13:42,849 --> 00:13:46,080
Now, say someone were
to remove it.
295
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,912
The fryer wouldn't work.
296
00:13:50,723 --> 00:13:52,748
Forever.
How petty do you think I am?
297
00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:01,156
Jeff leaving the family
didn't turn out to be a problem.
298
00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:03,767
Okay, I think
we're set for the quiz.
299
00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,437
Yep.
See you guys in class.
300
00:14:05,638 --> 00:14:06,764
Oh, wait, before you go.
301
00:14:07,173 --> 00:14:08,731
Oh, free notebooks.
302
00:14:09,709 --> 00:14:12,405
But the family's success
started to go to their heads.
303
00:14:12,612 --> 00:14:15,080
They didn't have college ruled?
No, sorry.
304
00:14:15,648 --> 00:14:17,081
It's okay.
305
00:14:22,155 --> 00:14:23,486
Abed?
Yeah?
306
00:14:23,689 --> 00:14:25,680
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure.
307
00:14:25,892 --> 00:14:27,587
We have a situation.
308
00:14:27,794 --> 00:14:29,193
Hey.
Who is this?
309
00:14:29,395 --> 00:14:30,384
It's Travis.
310
00:14:30,596 --> 00:14:32,496
You said you wanted someone in
your entourage named Travis.
311
00:14:32,698 --> 00:14:34,461
Show him your license.
312
00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,301
Travis is his middle name.
313
00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:39,971
I go by Travis.
No, you go by the door.
314
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,203
See you, Travis.
315
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:47,672
Abed?
Yep?
316
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,780
No, no, no.
317
00:14:50,449 --> 00:14:52,041
My monkey hates this caviar.
318
00:14:55,721 --> 00:14:56,847
Troy, isn't that...?
319
00:14:57,056 --> 00:15:00,253
They were spoiled, fat, lazy.
320
00:15:00,459 --> 00:15:03,587
I'd given them everything
and somehow I'd lost their respect.
321
00:15:03,796 --> 00:15:05,627
So I did the only thing
I could think of.
322
00:15:05,832 --> 00:15:07,823
I did what I thought Jeff would do.
323
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:09,865
I sent them a message.
324
00:15:21,747 --> 00:15:24,045
Somebody's backpack.
325
00:16:04,724 --> 00:16:06,988
These were the bad times.
326
00:16:11,097 --> 00:16:12,860
There he is.
Jeff, Jeff.
327
00:16:13,065 --> 00:16:14,054
Jeff.
Jeff.
328
00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:16,394
Jeff, Abed killed my backpack.
329
00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,126
I caught him stuffing
my man full of chicken.
330
00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:20,635
And Tyler Perry has a series
of movies about why that's wrong.
331
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,865
That little Arab is off his rocker.
332
00:16:23,075 --> 00:16:26,704
He released Annie's Boobs.
Annie's Boobs could be anywhere. Could be...
333
00:16:26,913 --> 00:16:29,279
We got it.
The monkey's name is Annie's Boobs.
334
00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:31,450
Look what Abed did to my hair.
335
00:16:31,651 --> 00:16:34,085
I feel terrible for all of you.
336
00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,949
Wait, no, I don't, because
I warned you about all this.
337
00:16:37,156 --> 00:16:39,624
You were so high on your
backpacks and hairstyles,
338
00:16:39,825 --> 00:16:41,725
you accused me of being jealous.
339
00:16:41,928 --> 00:16:43,486
You were right.
But what can we do?
340
00:16:43,696 --> 00:16:46,460
I'm sorry, you brushed over
that first part.
341
00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:47,997
Together.
342
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,067
You were right.
343
00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:53,932
Now, what you can do is go home and
write that on your bathroom mirror.
344
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,301
Wouldn't that make it seem
like I was right?
345
00:16:56,509 --> 00:16:58,340
Yeah.
I don't have a mirror.
346
00:16:58,544 --> 00:17:00,341
It's not reversed
because you're the...
347
00:17:00,546 --> 00:17:03,606
You'd have the mirror behind you.
And I would like...
348
00:17:06,218 --> 00:17:10,245
As for Abed, for his sake
I guess I'll have to take him out.
349
00:17:11,524 --> 00:17:15,221
Poor little guy.
Oh, good, that's nice.
350
00:17:33,079 --> 00:17:34,512
Abed.
351
00:17:36,082 --> 00:17:39,279
What are you doing?
Making Tater Tots.
352
00:17:39,485 --> 00:17:42,215
You were right, people got sick
of chicken, but I was close.
353
00:17:42,421 --> 00:17:43,888
I just need a new food,
a new system.
354
00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:46,285
I'm gonna experiment with jalapeņo
poppers next, and then Zucchini Zircles.
355
00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:48,460
I don't get it.
It's not that complicated, Jeff.
356
00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:50,356
They replaced the C in circle
with a Z for zucchini.
357
00:17:50,563 --> 00:17:52,827
No, no, I mean, why are you here?
358
00:17:53,032 --> 00:17:54,966
You said you were close?
359
00:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,501
What were you close to?
360
00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:03,201
To the group?
361
00:18:05,077 --> 00:18:07,307
To people?
Don't do a special episode about me.
362
00:18:07,513 --> 00:18:08,673
Oh. I wouldn't dream of it.
363
00:18:11,183 --> 00:18:13,276
Everyone else needs my help.
364
00:18:13,652 --> 00:18:17,383
That's what people don't get,
is that they need to get me.
365
00:18:18,791 --> 00:18:22,784
I just need to be able to connect to people like
you can, and then I can make everyone happy.
366
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,765
Do you know why I'm here?
You got caught with a fake degree.
367
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:33,268
By the way, they started using
that on Law & Order.
368
00:18:33,472 --> 00:18:35,030
Total rip off.
369
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:37,709
I'm here to dismantle the fryer.
370
00:18:38,277 --> 00:18:40,871
To cut your power off at its source.
371
00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:43,710
Don't you see what happened?
372
00:18:43,916 --> 00:18:46,646
I manipulated the group
into getting you the fry cook job
373
00:18:46,852 --> 00:18:48,911
so I could have some chicken.
374
00:18:49,121 --> 00:18:52,454
And you turned it all into a way
to make everyone like you.
375
00:18:53,492 --> 00:18:57,121
Made me ashamed of myself,
made me jealous.
376
00:18:57,329 --> 00:18:58,921
Maybe this is a special episode.
377
00:18:59,131 --> 00:19:01,497
It's pretty alarming behavior, Jeff.
Yeah.
378
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,635
There's specialists you could talk to.
Maybe I should do that.
379
00:19:05,971 --> 00:19:08,303
In the meantime,
let's make a deal.
380
00:19:09,241 --> 00:19:12,768
I'll help you connect with people, and
you help me do a better job with them.
381
00:19:12,978 --> 00:19:14,536
Like Knight Rider.
Exactly.
382
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,908
Like Knight Rider.
Deal.
383
00:19:17,583 --> 00:19:19,881
I'll put on a leather jacket and make
out with an aerobics instructor.
384
00:19:20,086 --> 00:19:24,216
You pull around front and comedically startle
passers-by with your ability to talk.
385
00:19:24,423 --> 00:19:26,789
Maybe we should just stay here
and have a plate of chicken fingers.
386
00:19:27,259 --> 00:19:28,658
Cool.
387
00:19:29,095 --> 00:19:31,290
Can we eat them while sitting on a
table like in Sixteen Candles?
388
00:19:31,497 --> 00:19:32,828
Pick one reference, Abed.
389
00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:34,561
Sixteen Candles.
390
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:37,526
And just like that,
the mafia movie was over.
391
00:19:37,736 --> 00:19:39,931
I quit the fry cook job,
somewhat for the sake of the family,
392
00:19:40,139 --> 00:19:44,007
but mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego,
poor guy.
393
00:19:45,911 --> 00:19:47,173
Things went back to normal.
394
00:19:47,379 --> 00:19:49,404
Everyone's back to being
a bunch of regular schnooks.
395
00:19:49,615 --> 00:19:51,480
And I'm back to being a weirdo.
396
00:19:51,684 --> 00:19:55,313
Back to watching
from the outside for now.
397
00:19:55,855 --> 00:19:58,085
There's still not enough
chicken fingers.
398
00:19:58,290 --> 00:20:00,451
No way, no seriously.
What?
399
00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:04,356
As soon as our family moved out, a new
syndicate moved in to take its place.
400
00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:07,225
But you know what they'll never
make a replacement for?
401
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,692
Friends.
402
00:20:12,304 --> 00:20:14,067
Okay, thank you.
That's great, Abed.
403
00:20:14,273 --> 00:20:16,503
But could you
just answer the question?
404
00:20:16,709 --> 00:20:17,971
What was it?
405
00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:21,169
Do you know who might have stolen
a box of hairnets from the kitchen?
406
00:20:21,747 --> 00:20:25,444
Someone with hair.
I'm gonna write that down.
407
00:20:29,592 --> 00:20:30,786
Ready?
408
00:20:33,095 --> 00:20:34,687
Oh, that's nice.
Never been done.
409
00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:37,457
Here I come.
Back up the same staircase.
410
00:20:37,666 --> 00:20:40,100
It's good.
Double escalator.
411
00:20:42,238 --> 00:20:45,435
Wow. I haven't seen that before.
How did you think of that?
412
00:20:46,509 --> 00:20:48,875
And now for our signature trick.
Awesome elevator.
413
00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:50,067
No.
I can't do it.
414
00:20:50,279 --> 00:20:52,042
I got babies.
I gotta get home.
415
00:20:52,248 --> 00:20:53,715
It's their loss.
Yeah.
416
00:21:04,994 --> 00:21:07,360
That was awesome.
Yeah.