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00:00:01,196 --> 00:00:03,630
Happy last day
before winter break, Greendale.
2
00:00:03,832 --> 00:00:05,197
Time to visit our loved ones.
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,096
Some of you will travel
as far as three miles.
4
00:00:08,537 --> 00:00:12,701
Don't forget to visit our winter wonderland,
where we're giving away catalogues
5
00:00:12,908 --> 00:00:15,035
of next semester's classes.
Ha-ha-ha!
6
00:00:18,113 --> 00:00:19,944
Whoa! What's that sound?
7
00:00:20,149 --> 00:00:24,586
Is that the tippy-tapping
of secular boots on the roof?
8
00:00:24,786 --> 00:00:29,985
Oh, well, it must be yet another sign
that it 'tis the season,
9
00:00:30,192 --> 00:00:32,183
because rumor has it
10
00:00:32,394 --> 00:00:35,522
that non-denominational
Mr. Winter
11
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:39,064
is on his way
to the student lounge.
12
00:00:39,668 --> 00:00:42,796
I am so sick of the dean jamming
his PCness down my throat.
13
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Pierce, I'd like to commend you
for letting that one go.
14
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PCness. Now I get it.
15
00:00:49,278 --> 00:00:51,371
It sounds like penis.
I just got it too.
16
00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:53,411
Well, it's still Christmas to all of us.
17
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And I made you all a little gift,
because you're like my new family.
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00:00:57,519 --> 00:00:59,146
"W.W.B.J. D?"
19
00:00:59,354 --> 00:01:01,584
If that stands for
"What would Billy Joel do?"
20
00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:04,452
I'll tell you right now,
he'd write another crappy song.
21
00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:06,150
Yeah, in your face, Billy Joel.
22
00:01:06,361 --> 00:01:07,328
Who is that?
23
00:01:07,529 --> 00:01:09,895
It stands for "What would baby Jesus do?
" And it's to remind us
24
00:01:10,098 --> 00:01:12,896
that the real meaning
of this season is Christmas.
25
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Oh, well, thank you, Shirley.
26
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:18,528
I'm gonna put that in the pocket
closest to my heart.
27
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No, no, no.
It's a bracelet, you put them on.
28
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Everybody put them on.
29
00:01:31,987 --> 00:01:34,217
Hey. Hey.
30
00:01:34,923 --> 00:01:37,016
You took all the Winter-Doodles.
31
00:01:37,226 --> 00:01:38,591
What are you, a douche bag?
32
00:01:39,194 --> 00:01:41,287
They're for my friends.
But there's a lot left.
33
00:01:41,496 --> 00:01:44,294
No. Only macadamia nut cookies.
I have a tree-nut allergy.
34
00:01:44,499 --> 00:01:46,194
You should stay away from
Christmas-tree-shaped cookies.
35
00:01:46,401 --> 00:01:50,064
Ha-ha-ha! That did not even make allergic sense.
What are you, an idiot?
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00:01:50,872 --> 00:01:55,104
Okay, we get it, you and the A-Team
are awesome, now beat it.
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00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:58,746
Oh, look at that. Pretty boy,
standing up for bird-face over here.
38
00:01:58,947 --> 00:02:00,676
Give me a Winter-Doodle.
39
00:02:00,882 --> 00:02:04,579
If you're trying to be menacing, maybe
don't call the cookie by its name.
40
00:02:05,087 --> 00:02:08,614
Oh, you're funny, you're a funny man.
Wanna hear something funny?
41
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,759
Knock, knock. My fist up your balls.
44
00:02:15,464 --> 00:02:19,127
Merry happy.
45
00:02:19,668 --> 00:02:20,965
This ain't over.
46
00:02:23,105 --> 00:02:25,596
There won't always be
a dean around, all right?
47
00:02:27,342 --> 00:02:28,900
Still waiting on
those cookies, Abed.
48
00:02:56,238 --> 00:02:57,296
Jeff protected my honor.
49
00:02:57,506 --> 00:02:59,736
It was like My Bodyguard,
but I was the kid from Meatballs,
50
00:02:59,941 --> 00:03:03,206
Jeff was from Full Metal Jacket, and the mustache
guy was the brother of the guy in Entourage.
51
00:03:03,412 --> 00:03:05,642
Thanks for dumbing that down for us.
You got it.
52
00:03:05,847 --> 00:03:08,907
What's the deal, Jeff? You leave
your stones in your other suit?
53
00:03:09,117 --> 00:03:10,948
Why didn't you rap that guy
in the face?
54
00:03:11,153 --> 00:03:14,281
For the same reason that I floss
and keep my guitar in its case.
55
00:03:14,489 --> 00:03:15,478
I'm over 23.
56
00:03:15,691 --> 00:03:17,921
I'm proud of you for
handling it peacefully, Jeff.
57
00:03:18,126 --> 00:03:21,755
Like a certain little birthday boy.
Heh-heh-heh.
58
00:03:21,963 --> 00:03:24,625
Real men turn the other cheek.
Let's see them.
59
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,295
Nonsense. Men were wired
to fight each other
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00:03:27,502 --> 00:03:29,299
so women could choose
the right mate.
61
00:03:29,504 --> 00:03:33,668
No, the real reason men fight
is to release their pent-up gayness.
62
00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:35,570
That guy wasn't gay,
he had a mustache.
63
00:03:35,777 --> 00:03:37,176
You know what I have? Finals.
64
00:03:37,379 --> 00:03:38,971
Are we cramming
for Spanish or not?
65
00:03:39,181 --> 00:03:41,513
I need a 65
or I'm gonna flunk the class.
66
00:03:43,085 --> 00:03:45,815
Why didn't you do the extra credit
if you knew that you were
67
00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:46,988
failing?
68
00:03:47,189 --> 00:03:50,352
Because doing more than the
minimum work is my definition of
69
00:03:50,559 --> 00:03:51,548
failing.
70
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:52,784
Quick question.
71
00:03:52,994 --> 00:03:55,963
Are you all coming to my
Christmas party right after the final
72
00:03:56,164 --> 00:03:59,327
or are you stopping home to
change into your Christmas outfits?
73
00:04:02,904 --> 00:04:04,667
I guess I could wear
one of my Hanukkah sweaters.
74
00:04:05,207 --> 00:04:09,610
Ah. Annie, I didn't know
you weren't, um, Christian.
75
00:04:09,811 --> 00:04:13,440
Yep, one might
even say I'm Jewish.
76
00:04:13,648 --> 00:04:15,878
Oh, that's good for you.
That's wonderful.
77
00:04:16,084 --> 00:04:17,949
I respect all religions of the world.
78
00:04:18,353 --> 00:04:19,786
I'm Muslim.
Jehovah's Witness.
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00:04:19,988 --> 00:04:22,047
Atheist.
The Lord is testing me.
80
00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:25,556
Guys, this is a subject that
breeds conflict, can we please...?
81
00:04:25,761 --> 00:04:27,524
What religion are you, Jeff?
I'm agnostic.
82
00:04:29,264 --> 00:04:31,755
Agnostic. Lazy man's atheist.
83
00:04:33,268 --> 00:04:34,895
I'm born-again.
Oh!
84
00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:37,401
We had a re-birthing ritual
in my friend's hot tub.
85
00:04:37,606 --> 00:04:41,542
I'm now a level five Laser Lotus
in my Buddhist community.
86
00:04:41,743 --> 00:04:44,735
That does not sound like Buddhism.
You sure you're not in a cult?
87
00:04:44,946 --> 00:04:49,246
Just by asking me that question,
you put me back down to a level four.
88
00:04:49,451 --> 00:04:51,885
You now owe me
2000 Energon Cubes.
89
00:04:52,087 --> 00:04:54,055
Do you know how foolish
you sound right now?
90
00:04:54,256 --> 00:04:56,486
What else do you believe in,
blood transfusions?
91
00:04:56,691 --> 00:04:59,353
Jehovah's Witnesses are
a type of Christian, right, Troy?
92
00:04:59,561 --> 00:05:04,157
Yeah, but we don't celebrate birthdays
or Christmas, and we can't drink.
93
00:05:04,366 --> 00:05:05,333
But it helps.
94
00:05:05,534 --> 00:05:06,660
So you're like a Muslim.
Assalamu alaikum.
95
00:05:06,868 --> 00:05:07,960
Shama-lama-ding-dong.
96
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:10,798
Well, don't we have
a diverse little family.
97
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,338
I say we open up this party
to all faiths.
98
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:15,100
I brought my Star of Bethlehem,
99
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:18,143
which led the wise men
to the savior of all mankind.
100
00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:22,749
And you guys can bring a little trinket
or doodad from your philosophies.
101
00:05:22,951 --> 00:05:23,940
Sounds good?
102
00:05:24,152 --> 00:05:26,985
As an agnostic, I'm gonna
bring my winning smile.
103
00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:42,334
Ugh! So boring.
104
00:05:43,872 --> 00:05:45,362
Done. Hee, hee!
105
00:05:48,477 --> 00:05:50,240
Feliz navidad.
106
00:05:50,979 --> 00:05:54,938
"True or falso
or none of the above?"
107
00:05:55,150 --> 00:05:56,549
That doesn't make any sense.
108
00:05:59,955 --> 00:06:03,584
Hey, look at that,
Forehead's taking a test.
109
00:06:03,792 --> 00:06:06,192
Why don't you get going,
Chuck Norris?
110
00:06:07,095 --> 00:06:09,655
Did you just shoo me?
Why don't you just kiss him already?
111
00:06:09,865 --> 00:06:12,231
Dude, I will shoo your nose
down your throat.
112
00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:15,028
Señor Chang, can you do
something about this?
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I'll allow it.
114
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,563
Qué pasa here, huh?
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00:06:21,610 --> 00:06:23,908
It's usted, dude. Even I know that.
116
00:06:27,282 --> 00:06:30,683
You picked the wrong day to correct
my Spanish, No Sleeves. It's on.
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00:06:30,886 --> 00:06:33,013
He's doing this for me.
He's my bodyguard.
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00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:34,984
You wanna dance?
To some show tunes?
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00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:37,124
No, I want to beat you,
and I'm gonna enjoy it.
120
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Because you're like this school.
121
00:06:38,827 --> 00:06:42,194
You're obnoxious, cramping my style
and you smell like french-fry oil.
122
00:06:42,397 --> 00:06:43,887
I don't get it.
123
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:47,193
Three o'clock. Bike rack,
but not the one by the parking lot.
124
00:06:47,402 --> 00:06:50,565
Right, the one by the trash cans, near the orange
cones, where they're building the wheelchair ramp.
125
00:06:51,139 --> 00:06:54,631
Yeah.
Best exam ever.
126
00:06:54,843 --> 00:06:56,834
That guy's awesome.
127
00:07:01,283 --> 00:07:03,410
So help me, if that
jerkweed made me fail.
128
00:07:03,618 --> 00:07:05,950
Well, I aced it, amigo.
That means cousin.
129
00:07:06,154 --> 00:07:07,587
So, what's my role going to be?
130
00:07:07,789 --> 00:07:10,519
Is there a key moment where
I stand up for myself, take revenge?
131
00:07:10,725 --> 00:07:12,784
Uh, maybe you should
just hang back.
132
00:07:12,994 --> 00:07:14,928
Yeah, I will. In his face.
133
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,189
Whatever you do,
don't tell Shirley about the fight.
134
00:07:17,399 --> 00:07:20,459
She'll start in with all her
mothery guilt-inducing powers.
135
00:07:20,669 --> 00:07:21,966
You know what I mean?
No.
136
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:24,968
I'm wearing this Jesus bracelet
because it gets me chicks.
137
00:07:25,173 --> 00:07:26,401
I know guys like this Mike.
138
00:07:26,608 --> 00:07:28,576
He used to be a nerd,
now he's a meathead.
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00:07:28,777 --> 00:07:29,937
Dangerous combo.
140
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:33,273
Tyson, Lou Ferrigno,
Rosie O'Donnell.
141
00:07:33,481 --> 00:07:35,745
You're a pretty big dude.
You've probably got moves.
142
00:07:35,951 --> 00:07:38,476
Yeah, I got some theories.
143
00:07:38,687 --> 00:07:40,848
You've never been in a fight?
Technically, no.
144
00:07:41,056 --> 00:07:44,025
I guess I'm too charming
and likeable. Call me a name.
145
00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:46,388
I can't.
Mm.
146
00:07:46,595 --> 00:07:48,825
Are you telling me you've never
been punched in the face?
147
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:51,430
No, thank God.
This is the moneymaker.
148
00:07:51,633 --> 00:07:54,534
First time I got punched in the face,
I was like, "Oh, no."
149
00:07:54,736 --> 00:07:58,069
But then I was like, "This is a story."
150
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,302
And a good one.
Yeah.
151
00:08:00,508 --> 00:08:03,671
Every man should be punched
in the face. It's a rite of passage.
152
00:08:03,878 --> 00:08:06,608
In my day, Friday night was
smoke a doobie, feel up a gal
153
00:08:06,815 --> 00:08:08,806
and then get your teeth
knocked out by a Republican.
154
00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:12,350
Guys, the plan here isn't for me
to get hit. It's for me to hit him.
155
00:08:12,754 --> 00:08:13,743
Oh, then it's settled.
156
00:08:13,955 --> 00:08:15,786
We have to teach Jeffrey
how to fight.
157
00:08:15,991 --> 00:08:17,288
I know a few moves.
158
00:08:17,492 --> 00:08:19,460
Troy, I assume you're
handy with a switchblade.
159
00:08:19,661 --> 00:08:23,461
Abed, you get back to the family tent,
try to find a chicken for Jeff to chase.
160
00:08:24,265 --> 00:08:28,759
Guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm,
but I think I got this.
161
00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:30,835
Oh, well, look who it is.
162
00:08:31,039 --> 00:08:36,033
We got Forehead, Old Head,
Dumb Head and the Other Head.
163
00:08:36,444 --> 00:08:37,638
See you at 3, Forehead.
164
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:40,272
Give me a snowman, dork.
165
00:08:42,651 --> 00:08:44,642
See this, funny guy? Huh?
166
00:08:48,023 --> 00:08:49,115
Huh?
167
00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:52,490
Classic Rosie.
168
00:08:52,694 --> 00:08:54,184
Fight lessons in a half an hour?
169
00:08:54,996 --> 00:08:56,258
Good plan.
170
00:08:56,464 --> 00:09:01,231
♪ Joy to the
world The Lord is come ♪
171
00:09:01,436 --> 00:09:07,102
♪ The Lord, the Lord, the Lord ♪♪
172
00:09:07,308 --> 00:09:08,741
Hello.
173
00:09:08,943 --> 00:09:11,537
Oh! Is this your Hanukkah holder?
174
00:09:11,746 --> 00:09:13,873
It's, uh... It's pretty.
175
00:09:14,082 --> 00:09:16,414
We'll just, uh... Let's just put it here.
176
00:09:16,618 --> 00:09:18,313
There we go. That's nice.
177
00:09:18,853 --> 00:09:23,256
So I can't believe
I never knew you were a Jew.
178
00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:26,727
I'd say the whole word next time.
179
00:09:29,297 --> 00:09:32,698
So do you think everyone
will start arriving soon?
180
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:35,301
I think they're gonna come
after Jeff's fight.
181
00:09:35,503 --> 00:09:36,527
After Jeff's what, now?
182
00:09:37,906 --> 00:09:39,168
Jeff wants to fight that bully.
183
00:09:39,941 --> 00:09:41,067
On Christmas?
184
00:09:41,943 --> 00:09:43,740
Will you excuse me for a moment?
185
00:09:44,446 --> 00:09:47,210
Can you finish the manger scene?
186
00:09:49,184 --> 00:09:51,880
We know you were one of us.
187
00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:58,387
What's up? What's up?
188
00:09:58,593 --> 00:10:01,255
What's up.
No, it's a question.
189
00:10:01,463 --> 00:10:03,192
What's up?
What's up?
190
00:10:03,398 --> 00:10:07,061
Not a real question, a rhetorical one.
You have the answer, he does not.
191
00:10:07,268 --> 00:10:09,361
Then you give them
the Forest Whitaker eye.
192
00:10:09,571 --> 00:10:10,936
Oh, that's pretty good.
193
00:10:11,139 --> 00:10:13,130
Okay, hold that stare.
There you go.
194
00:10:13,341 --> 00:10:17,243
Hold it. Then, look straight through
his eyes and deep into his soul.
195
00:10:17,445 --> 00:10:18,844
And then you move to Vermont.
196
00:10:19,047 --> 00:10:21,311
I'm sick and tired of you
saying that fighting is gay.
197
00:10:21,516 --> 00:10:23,984
She's got a point. In boxing,
you fight for the purse and a belt.
198
00:10:24,185 --> 00:10:27,677
I've gotta write a paper about that.
Let's see what we're working with.
199
00:10:27,889 --> 00:10:30,756
Go ahead,
throw a few at the old paws.
200
00:10:32,093 --> 00:10:34,152
What are you?
A North Korean seamstress?
201
00:10:34,362 --> 00:10:37,092
Not if that's bad.
Get mad, come on!
202
00:10:37,298 --> 00:10:39,732
If it helps, think of me
as somebody who annoys you.
203
00:10:41,102 --> 00:10:42,467
That's it. That's good.
204
00:10:42,670 --> 00:10:44,331
Britta, put your blouse back on.
205
00:10:44,672 --> 00:10:46,833
Ohh! Ow!
206
00:10:47,108 --> 00:10:49,042
This is not a game.
You gotta be ready for anything.
207
00:10:49,244 --> 00:10:51,144
Dude, that is not cool.
208
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,439
Well, that foxy black girl thinks it is.
Hm?
209
00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:54,672
Aah!
210
00:10:54,883 --> 00:10:57,010
What are you doing?
Why she have to be black?
211
00:10:57,218 --> 00:10:58,742
What is going on?
212
00:10:58,953 --> 00:11:04,789
We're trying to get Jeff
ready for the fight.
213
00:11:06,394 --> 00:11:08,089
I couldn't think of another word.
214
00:11:08,296 --> 00:11:09,263
Idiot.
215
00:11:09,464 --> 00:11:11,159
He meant we were figh...
216
00:11:12,934 --> 00:11:15,368
ting. It is hard to
think of another word.
217
00:11:15,570 --> 00:11:16,935
You realize there's
no way to take this
218
00:11:17,138 --> 00:11:19,436
than as a giant middle finger to
the most important day of the year.
219
00:11:20,108 --> 00:11:22,303
December 10th?
It's our Christmas.
220
00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:24,000
And I'm having a party.
221
00:11:24,212 --> 00:11:26,476
Due to my divorce,
and my relatives picking sides,
222
00:11:26,681 --> 00:11:29,479
this will be the only Christmas party
I throw this year.
223
00:11:29,684 --> 00:11:30,673
Will you be there
224
00:11:31,152 --> 00:11:34,349
or will I have another family
letting me down?
225
00:11:34,556 --> 00:11:36,251
I told him not to fight.
226
00:11:36,457 --> 00:11:38,357
He wouldn't listen.
227
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,985
I don't know what that is.
228
00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:48,198
Jeffrey, I have two boys.
229
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,200
And when we have
a serious discussion,
230
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:53,203
I find that a brownie
helps them to relax.
231
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:56,742
So why do you hate me and Jesus?
232
00:11:57,745 --> 00:11:59,178
I don't think my brownie's working.
233
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:02,679
Please don't do something so ugly
on a day so important to me.
234
00:12:02,884 --> 00:12:04,647
Again, it's December 10th.
235
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,149
You think religion is stupid.
236
00:12:07,355 --> 00:12:10,449
No, no. To me,
religion is like Paul Rudd.
237
00:12:10,658 --> 00:12:13,126
I see the appeal and would never
take it away from anyone,
238
00:12:13,328 --> 00:12:15,023
but I would also never
stand in line for it.
239
00:12:15,230 --> 00:12:18,358
And, look, the die has been cast
with this crazy bully guy.
240
00:12:18,566 --> 00:12:21,194
He picked on Abed,
and he corrected my Spanish.
241
00:12:22,036 --> 00:12:24,095
So you go to your party
and I'll see you soon.
242
00:12:24,305 --> 00:12:27,274
Jeffrey, I forbid you from fighting.
243
00:12:28,643 --> 00:12:30,611
Well, you don't get to.
You're not my mom.
244
00:12:30,812 --> 00:12:35,374
You're right, but if you show up for
the fight, don't show up for my party.
245
00:12:35,583 --> 00:12:38,746
Oh, come on, Shirley, don't be mad.
I'm not mad, I'm disappointed.
246
00:12:38,953 --> 00:12:41,387
That's Mom for mad.
247
00:12:48,496 --> 00:12:51,590
Oh, hash browns and
applesauce, that's nice.
248
00:12:51,799 --> 00:12:54,324
Oh, what is that interesting smell?
249
00:12:54,535 --> 00:12:56,730
It's a traditional Muslim dish.
250
00:12:56,938 --> 00:12:58,200
Looks delicious.
251
00:12:58,406 --> 00:13:00,931
I'm guessing as a woman
I won't be allowed to eat that.
252
00:13:01,142 --> 00:13:03,201
That's too bad.
253
00:13:04,045 --> 00:13:06,570
Oh, look, Britta brought
what she believes in.
254
00:13:06,781 --> 00:13:07,805
Nothing.
255
00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:09,711
Where should I put
my Buddha incense holder?
256
00:13:09,918 --> 00:13:11,442
I'm pretty sure that's a bong.
257
00:13:13,121 --> 00:13:14,588
Where's Jeff?
258
00:13:16,791 --> 00:13:18,884
I guess he made his choice.
259
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:20,722
I wanna go to Jeff's fight.
260
00:13:20,929 --> 00:13:23,955
As I told Jeff, no one that goes
to the fight can come to my party.
261
00:13:24,165 --> 00:13:28,363
He's dead to me. And if any of you
leave you'll be dead to me too.
262
00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:30,064
Let's sing.
263
00:13:30,271 --> 00:13:33,263
♪ Jesus is a friend of mine ♪
264
00:13:33,574 --> 00:13:35,303
♪ Jesus is a friend of mine ♪
265
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,477
Everybody.
266
00:13:36,678 --> 00:13:38,509
♪ Jesus is a friend of mine ♪♪
267
00:13:38,713 --> 00:13:40,806
Come on, everybody.
You don't know it?
268
00:13:41,015 --> 00:13:44,451
You're banning Jeff from the party?
That doesn't seem very Christian.
269
00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:49,347
Well, that's an interesting point
of view coming from an atheist.
270
00:13:49,924 --> 00:13:52,950
I did my best to create
a special Christmas
271
00:13:53,161 --> 00:13:55,288
for my one intact family.
272
00:13:55,496 --> 00:13:58,795
And, ahem, this is the thanks I get?
273
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,230
Shirley, you are a guilt machine.
Mm.
274
00:14:01,436 --> 00:14:04,667
And Annie knows a thing or two
about guilt, am I right, Jew?
275
00:14:05,206 --> 00:14:06,696
Say the whole word.
276
00:14:07,942 --> 00:14:09,466
Jewie?
277
00:14:09,677 --> 00:14:12,703
You would never catch
a Jehovah's Witness saying "Jewie."
278
00:14:12,914 --> 00:14:15,314
Tell it to the birthday cake
you never got.
279
00:14:15,516 --> 00:14:17,040
You know, there's an
old Buddhist saying...
280
00:14:17,251 --> 00:14:19,549
You are not a Buddhist,
you are in a cult.
281
00:14:19,754 --> 00:14:20,982
Suck it, Nietzsche.
282
00:14:21,189 --> 00:14:24,556
Guys, everyone's faith is weird.
Let's just not talk about it.
283
00:14:31,933 --> 00:14:33,230
Guys, guys.
284
00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:37,495
Guys, guys, are we really gonna
let religion divide us like this?
285
00:14:37,705 --> 00:14:39,673
I think there's one thing
we can all agree on.
286
00:14:39,874 --> 00:14:41,102
I get 72 virgins in heaven.
287
00:14:41,309 --> 00:14:45,006
No, that we would all like
to have Jeff at this party.
288
00:14:45,513 --> 00:14:47,879
Mm. He can't come. Mm-mm.
Shirley.
289
00:14:48,082 --> 00:14:51,882
I get that this is your first Christmas
since your husband left you.
290
00:14:52,086 --> 00:14:55,146
And I don't know, maybe that's why
you're being so stubborn,
291
00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:58,086
because you're trying so hard
to recreate something
292
00:14:58,292 --> 00:15:00,760
that you're afraid
that you've lost forever.
293
00:15:00,962 --> 00:15:03,863
But if you really want us
to be your second family,
294
00:15:04,065 --> 00:15:06,260
then you've gotta start
treating us like one.
295
00:15:07,635 --> 00:15:08,932
Even if that means supporting us
296
00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:11,367
when we do things
that you don't agree with.
297
00:15:11,973 --> 00:15:14,373
And you can start
by rooting for Jeff
298
00:15:14,575 --> 00:15:18,170
while he rolls around on the ground,
groping another man.
299
00:15:20,314 --> 00:15:22,248
That's what I'm gonna do.
300
00:15:34,228 --> 00:15:36,719
The cranberry sauce
has real cranberries.
301
00:15:37,265 --> 00:15:40,792
If this dude doesn't show up,
we're definitely going to Applebee's.
302
00:15:41,002 --> 00:15:43,835
Because I'm getting into a fight
no matter what today, I'm telling you.
303
00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:46,802
Oh, look who showed up.
304
00:15:47,008 --> 00:15:49,238
Oh, check him out. Ohh!
305
00:15:50,945 --> 00:15:52,503
What's up, dude?
306
00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:54,374
No backup today, huh?
307
00:15:54,582 --> 00:15:57,278
Looks like grandpa and weirdo couldn't
show up to get their teeth knocked out.
308
00:15:57,485 --> 00:16:00,977
Can I ask you a question? Are you
perpetually on your way to the gym?
309
00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:02,656
Dude, my life is a gym.
310
00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,225
Well, what's up? What's up?
What's up, man?
311
00:16:05,426 --> 00:16:06,950
What's up? What's up?
What's up? What's up?
312
00:16:07,161 --> 00:16:08,594
What's up?
What's up?
313
00:16:08,796 --> 00:16:09,956
What's up?
What's up? What's up?
314
00:16:11,899 --> 00:16:12,957
Whoa.
315
00:16:14,435 --> 00:16:17,427
Dude, what is that?
One sec, these are very expensive.
316
00:16:19,006 --> 00:16:19,995
What is he doing?
317
00:16:21,676 --> 00:16:23,200
All right.
318
00:16:23,945 --> 00:16:25,207
Dude, you wear a bracelet?
319
00:16:30,785 --> 00:16:32,912
Your name is Mike, right?
So?
320
00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:35,316
Mike, I'm not gonna fight you.
321
00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:40,322
I have a friend that believes this is the time of year
where you put aside your differences and make peace.
322
00:16:40,728 --> 00:16:44,858
Me? I don't believe in any of that,
but I do believe in friendship.
323
00:16:45,066 --> 00:16:47,830
And as much as I hate you
and the cast of Breakin',
324
00:16:48,035 --> 00:16:50,833
I have to ask myself,
what would Shirley do?
325
00:16:53,141 --> 00:16:54,369
Oh, no.
What would Shirley do?
326
00:16:54,575 --> 00:16:58,705
I think that she would
shake your hand
327
00:16:58,913 --> 00:17:00,540
and wish you a Merry Christmas.
328
00:17:03,384 --> 00:17:05,284
Jeffrey.
329
00:17:05,486 --> 00:17:07,386
Kick his ass.
330
00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:09,681
Cavalry's here. Shirts off, boys.
331
00:17:09,891 --> 00:17:11,916
Come on, I'm being punk'd, right?
332
00:17:12,126 --> 00:17:13,491
Kick them. Come here.
333
00:17:40,821 --> 00:17:43,346
Please, it's Christmas.
It's December 10th.
334
00:17:43,558 --> 00:17:44,684
Ow!
335
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,651
Not the moneymaker,
not the moneymaker.
336
00:17:47,862 --> 00:17:49,090
Ow! Ow!
337
00:17:54,669 --> 00:17:55,829
You're welcome.
338
00:17:56,037 --> 00:17:59,564
♪ Sensible night ♪
339
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:03,904
♪ Appropriate night ♪
340
00:18:04,111 --> 00:18:07,808
♪ Snow on ground ♪
341
00:18:08,015 --> 00:18:12,076
♪ Left and right ♪
342
00:18:12,286 --> 00:18:15,483
♪ Round yon purchase ♪
343
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:19,956
♪ Of decorative things ♪
344
00:18:20,161 --> 00:18:23,392
♪ Tolerant rewrite ♪
345
00:18:23,598 --> 00:18:28,092
♪ Of carols to sing ♪
346
00:18:28,302 --> 00:18:32,136
♪ Function with relative ♪
347
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:36,333
♪ Ease ♪
348
00:18:36,544 --> 00:18:40,571
♪ Function with relative ♪
349
00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:43,807
♪ Ease ♪♪
350
00:18:44,018 --> 00:18:45,007
Yeah.
351
00:18:45,219 --> 00:18:46,277
Thank you.
Yeah.
352
00:18:46,487 --> 00:18:48,717
Yeah.
Thank you.
353
00:18:48,923 --> 00:18:51,949
Thank you, I get it.
Yes, it is I, Señor Chang.
354
00:18:52,159 --> 00:18:53,820
Shakira, hold this.
355
00:18:54,028 --> 00:18:58,556
So I have finished grading
everyone's finals.
356
00:18:58,766 --> 00:19:01,929
And all of you are moving on.
357
00:19:02,136 --> 00:19:03,797
Yeah.
Yes.
358
00:19:04,505 --> 00:19:05,733
Yes.
Yeah.
359
00:19:06,007 --> 00:19:08,737
Ha, ha. Except for Jeff.
360
00:19:08,943 --> 00:19:10,934
Oh.
It turns out, you...
361
00:19:11,646 --> 00:19:13,876
Pause for dramatic effect.
362
00:19:14,615 --> 00:19:16,708
- will be seeing me next semester.
363
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,442
No!
364
00:19:19,654 --> 00:19:24,523
In Spanish 102, ha-ha-ha!
Because he passed, you know.
365
00:19:24,725 --> 00:19:27,558
And I'm the only Spanish teacher.
Yay!
366
00:19:27,762 --> 00:19:29,320
I meant about Jeff passing.
367
00:19:29,530 --> 00:19:32,624
You being our Spanish teacher, eh.
368
00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:35,096
Whoa.
369
00:19:35,336 --> 00:19:36,530
Man, Mike got you good.
370
00:19:36,737 --> 00:19:39,137
Actually, that was
my present to Jeff.
371
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:42,173
Ha, ha. I don't care.
I've got a mountain to shred.
372
00:19:44,078 --> 00:19:47,445
Jeffrey, you're a man now.
How does it feel?
373
00:19:47,648 --> 00:19:50,481
I got hit in the face, like, four times
before you punched me.
374
00:19:51,185 --> 00:19:53,779
Well, some people just
don't know how to say thank you.
375
00:19:53,988 --> 00:19:55,649
Pierce, thank you.
376
00:19:58,459 --> 00:20:04,398
And thanks to all of you for
showing up and having my back
377
00:20:04,598 --> 00:20:06,828
when we fought those fly dancers.
378
00:20:07,034 --> 00:20:08,194
So, uh...
379
00:20:08,936 --> 00:20:10,198
Ooh!
380
00:20:10,404 --> 00:20:13,805
Merry...
No, no, no, holiday.
381
00:20:14,008 --> 00:20:17,944
Actually, I was gonna say, "Merry
semester and happy new one."
382
00:20:21,148 --> 00:20:23,013
Switch?
Switch, switch, next glass.
383
00:20:23,217 --> 00:20:25,276
Okay, he's running out.
He's running out.
384
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:31,918
♪ O Christmas
Troy O Christmas Troy ♪
385
00:20:32,126 --> 00:20:34,617
♪ Thy candles shine so brightly ♪
386
00:20:34,829 --> 00:20:37,559
♪ O Christmas Troy
O Christmas Troy ♪
387
00:20:37,765 --> 00:20:41,223
♪ Much pleasure
Thou canst give me ♪♪
388
00:20:42,536 --> 00:20:44,197
Why do you guys do stuff like this?
389
00:20:45,106 --> 00:20:47,631
Because it's fun.
Yeah.
390
00:20:48,008 --> 00:20:50,875
♪ The sight of thee at Christmastide ♪
391
00:20:51,078 --> 00:20:54,275
♪ Spreads hope and gladness
Far and wide ♪
392
00:20:54,482 --> 00:20:58,782
♪ O Christmas Troy
O Christmas Troy ♪
393
00:20:58,986 --> 00:21:04,891
♪ Thou tree most fair and lovely ♪♪
394
00:21:05,393 --> 00:21:06,951
Don't move.
395
00:21:07,261 --> 00:21:09,092
This nose smells like special drink.