1
00:00:00,990 --> 00:00:06,326
So from now on, we'll refer to each
other by our Spanish nombres.
2
00:00:06,529 --> 00:00:09,430
There will be...
What's this?
3
00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:12,898
It's okay, it's okay.
Do it.
4
00:00:22,778 --> 00:00:25,645
Buenos dias, Winger.
5
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,578
Ah. Class dismissed.
6
00:00:36,225 --> 00:00:37,453
Hey.
7
00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:39,491
Shirley, look.
8
00:00:39,695 --> 00:00:40,753
I'm Annie's backpack.
9
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:43,830
Mmm.
Stop it, Troy.
10
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:50,791
Annie, say there are two friends
and they're in the same class,
11
00:00:50,792 --> 00:00:53,556
and one of them wants to ask
the other one out on a date.
12
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:58,554
Like a grownup date, but within biking
distance of his parents' house.
13
00:00:59,032 --> 00:01:00,932
Well, they could do
something on campus.
14
00:01:01,134 --> 00:01:04,729
Tomorrow, there's a picnic with
live music on the east lawn.
15
00:01:04,938 --> 00:01:07,907
They're calling it
A Night Under the Stars.
16
00:01:08,108 --> 00:01:11,100
Cool. I bet Randi would
love that type of thing.
17
00:01:11,311 --> 00:01:12,369
Randi?
18
00:01:12,579 --> 00:01:15,241
Oh, I thought...
Oh.
19
00:01:15,448 --> 00:01:16,608
You thought...
20
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,650
I can't believe I misled you
like that.
21
00:01:19,853 --> 00:01:24,313
Listen, Randi can be the name
of a guy or a girl.
22
00:01:25,058 --> 00:01:27,618
And in this case,
it is definitely a girl.
23
00:01:29,362 --> 00:01:30,829
Thanks for your help.
24
00:01:31,731 --> 00:01:32,720
You're welcome.
25
00:01:32,932 --> 00:01:34,422
And I hate you.
26
00:01:34,634 --> 00:01:36,192
And I wanna have your children.
27
00:01:36,403 --> 00:01:38,837
Damn, I picked the wrong
couple to follow this morning.
28
00:01:39,039 --> 00:01:41,064
Jeff and Britta are dead air.
29
00:01:41,574 --> 00:01:44,941
Are you okay? It looks like you
have actual bed head this morning.
30
00:01:45,145 --> 00:01:47,340
In fashion, I'm what's
known as a tastemaker.
31
00:01:47,547 --> 00:01:50,072
And you missed an entire side
of your face shaving.
32
00:01:50,283 --> 00:01:52,410
And next month,
so will Gwen Stefani.
33
00:01:52,619 --> 00:01:54,280
Here comes Vaughn. Bye.
34
00:01:54,754 --> 00:01:56,449
Oh, crap.
35
00:01:56,656 --> 00:01:57,884
Vaughn? Vaughn.
36
00:01:58,091 --> 00:01:59,956
Oh, the guy with
tiny nipples you did it with.
37
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,184
Oh, God. Hi, Vaughn.
38
00:02:01,394 --> 00:02:04,227
Can we talk sometime?
I'm sorry about how things ended.
39
00:02:04,431 --> 00:02:07,798
Well, I'm sorry I can't accept your
apology because you're toxic, Britta.
40
00:02:08,001 --> 00:02:11,835
You know what? You're like the
exact opposite of an antioxidant.
41
00:02:12,038 --> 00:02:14,802
Yeah. Pssh.
I got band practice. Lates.
44
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,340
Let me talk to him for you.
It'll be better if it's man-to-man.
45
00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:26,678
We won't be thinking about our chubby thighs
or whether or not we can have babies.
46
00:02:26,886 --> 00:02:28,183
Don't talk to Vaughn.
47
00:02:28,388 --> 00:02:29,980
Your hormones
are clouding your...
48
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:32,715
Don't talk to Vaughn.
49
00:02:35,962 --> 00:02:38,123
That is girl for "talk to Vaughn."
50
00:03:01,855 --> 00:03:03,254
Ooh.
51
00:03:03,456 --> 00:03:06,391
Sure you don't want a piece of that?
Shirley.
52
00:03:09,062 --> 00:03:10,256
What is he doing?
53
00:03:10,463 --> 00:03:12,488
Oh, I know exactly
what he's doing.
54
00:03:12,699 --> 00:03:14,246
My ex-husband spent
four weeks doing that
55
00:03:14,247 --> 00:03:16,890
after his innocent mistake
of calling me Valerie.
56
00:03:17,804 --> 00:03:19,999
That boy is living in his car.
57
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:29,068
I lived in my car for a stretch
in the '70s.
58
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:34,441
Nothing like bedding a woman
on the vinyl back seat of a Skylark.
59
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:38,550
Of course, we didn't have the same
safety standards back then, so... Heh.
60
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,550
No condoms.
61
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,416
I tell you, before AIDS,
sex was like shaking hands.
62
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,683
Hence, AIDS.
Oh, Brittles, I forgot to tell you.
63
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,519
I went and talked to Vaughn.
What?
64
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,094
Bad news is I could not patch up
things between you.
65
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,730
You really did a number on him.
66
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,423
Good news is I'm the new
keyboardist in his band.
67
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,399
I asked you not to talk to him
and you completely ignored me.
68
00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:00,801
Hey, Tiny, you're missing
the headline. I'm in a rock band.
69
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,067
Oh, I'd like to be there
when the band finds out.
70
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:11,113
Oh, hi, Jeff. We were just talking
about how in today's economy...
71
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:14,549
Mm-mm! Living in your car. Living in your car.
You are living in your car.
72
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,347
I'm sorry, I'm not good
at being coy. Ahem.
73
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,081
Guys, I'm not living in my car.
74
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,594
I'm just sleeping in it
for a couple of days
75
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,956
while I work out some problems
with my condo.
76
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,928
It's a very temporary issue.
Gotta pay some meaningless fees.
77
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,796
They'll put my locks back
on the door and that'll be that.
78
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,834
How are you gonna
get the money?
79
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,802
Believe me, kitten,
Winger's got moves.
80
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,339
Jeff, do you need
a place to stay?
81
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:39,273
I'd offer,
but my dad's kind of racist.
82
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,674
You could stay with me in the dorms.
My room has a bunk bed.
83
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,144
A misnomer,
because it's the real deal.
84
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,409
The next person that offers me
charity or pity
85
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,315
will be mentioned by name
in my suicide note.
86
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,784
Oh.
87
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:56,289
Annie, Annie, thanks for your advice
about A Night Under the Stars.
88
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,691
Of course. Anytime, ever.
89
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,333
Now I've just gotta figure out
what to bring to the picnic.
90
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,436
This is my first college girl,
so I really wanna impress her.
91
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,198
Would you mind helping me
shop for this stuff?
92
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:08,806
I'd love to.
Really?
93
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,340
Sure.
No.
94
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,011
Thanks. Later.
95
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,311
Bye.
96
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,946
Hey.
Hey. Wanna see my place?
97
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,517
I can see it from here.
Two girls are making out on the hood.
98
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,746
No, my real place.
99
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,854
Look at that.
100
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:28,084
Condo board's trying to bluff me
by listing my place as available.
101
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:29,557
But look at those faucets.
102
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,094
Handcrafted in Italy.
103
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,323
One hundred percent expensive.
104
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:34,795
Those faucets are beautiful.
105
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,299
You know what they would
go great with? A home.
106
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,302
Which you no longer have.
You need to move on with your life.
107
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,738
Move on with my life?
Shmove shmon shmith shmy shfime.
108
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,208
This condo is all
that's left of me.
109
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,404
Every part of it
is a part of who I am.
110
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:49,639
Is that a bidet?
111
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,340
That part's for resale value.
112
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,485
And Saturday afternoons.
113
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:58,888
You know, downgrading your lifestyle
is your chance to grow as a person.
114
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,559
Maybe even become one.
115
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,991
You know, the less you have,
the more you can be.
116
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,322
You know what I'm saying?
117
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,091
There's a silver lining here,
isn't there?
118
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,498
You're attracted to bums.
Good night.
119
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,830
Come on. Why don't you
have dinner at my place?
120
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,029
I got a hotplate that plugs
into a cigarette lighter.
121
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,334
Yeah, but your kitchen's
being towed.
122
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,405
Stop! That's my house!
123
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,318
Can I live with you?
Yeah, cool.
124
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,216
Do you want top bunk
or bottom bunk?
125
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,483
Top.
Me too. Race you for it.
126
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,287
I win.
127
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:45,262
Look, I really need to
liquidate some assets.
128
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:48,066
It's an emergency situation.
129
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,503
What kind of offer is that?
130
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,904
These are mint-condition issues.
131
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,545
I mean, the premise
alone is priceless.
132
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,409
The guy has the powers
and strength of a spider.
133
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,243
Your incredulity perplexes me.
134
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,888
No, your incredulity
perplexes me, nerd.
135
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,016
Did I say anything in my sleep about
farm animals or Brian Williams?
136
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,319
I don't think so.
Cool.
137
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,788
Cool, cool, cool.
138
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,965
Lucky Charms?
How are you so satisfied all the time?
139
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,263
I mean, don't you ever want anything
more out of life than cereal?
140
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,368
Sometimes I pour
hot cocoa mix into cold milk
141
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:25,602
and drink it like a cold hot chocolate.
I call it special drink.
142
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,337
Someday you will know it by
its true name, diabetes.
143
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,380
You're Goldie Hawn, Jeff.
144
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,612
I'm sorry?
You're Goldie Hawn.
145
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,255
Is it the lips?
No.
146
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,448
In Overboard,
she was just like you.
147
00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:42,457
Wealthy, assertive, arrogant,
got manicures all the time.
148
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,755
She fell off her boat
and it was good for her.
149
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,298
She realized she was happier poor,
raising unruly boys with Kurt Russell.
150
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,766
Can I not be Kurt Russell?
Do whatever you want.
151
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,734
You just have to know
what that is.
152
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:57,636
For me, it's Lucky Charms
and TV.
153
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,508
I could use a break.
154
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:07,220
A picnic blanket. Genius.
155
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,012
I was gonna lay down newspaper.
156
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,713
It's the blanket my grandmother
used to court my grandfather.
157
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,825
Yeah? That's pretty hot.
158
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,789
Thanks.
Oh...
159
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,659
Tell that boy how you feel.
160
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,199
It's scary.
161
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:25,963
If he's not interested,
I could lose the friendship too.
162
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:29,505
You could. Love is a gamble always,
but waiting won't change the dice.
163
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,677
You either roll them
or you lose your turn.
164
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:33,937
I'm going to roll them.
I am.
165
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,308
I just... I need
a few more shakes.
166
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,417
Mm. Shake them
in your mind, okay?
167
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,112
If you'll excuse me,
Pierce's band is playing.
168
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,017
And I wanna record
the train wreck.
169
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,954
Kind of hoping for
a Michael Richards situation.
170
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,552
This is for you.
171
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,964
Oh, they're pretty good.
172
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,192
This isn't weird for you?
No.
173
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:59,566
Just wanna show Vaughn some support
to help smooth things over.
174
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:04,574
♪ Saying goodbye to Britta
Was the hardest thing to do ♪
175
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,508
♪ But when someone's a bitch
And a liar ♪
176
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,706
♪ There ain't nothing left to woo ♪
177
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,910
♪ I'm getting rid of Britta ♪
178
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,108
What am I doing?
179
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,017
♪ I'm getting rid of the B ♪
♪ She's a no-good B ♪
180
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,691
♪ I'm getting rid of Britta ♪
181
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,485
♪ I'm getting rid of the B ♪
182
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,219
♪ She's a GDB ♪♪
183
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,624
Take it, Pierce.
184
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:27,527
Same as a 45-year-old,
except he doesn't get as tired.
185
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,598
We can pick them from
the cream...
186
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,433
Great to have somebody
to watch stuff with.
187
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:37,804
My dad never wanted to watch
anything, so I was raised by TV.
188
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,706
TV's the best dad there is.
189
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,403
TV never came home drunk.
190
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,549
TV never forgot me at the zoo.
191
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,980
TV never abused
and insulted me.
192
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,211
Unless you count Cop Rock.
193
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,749
Cop Rock. That sounds cool.
Doesn't it?
194
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,250
Hey.
195
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:55,686
Wow.
196
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:59,194
You guys are really
dorming it up in here, huh?
197
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,867
Yeah. In the last two days,
I've spent a quarter.
198
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,296
We're having the time
of our lives.
199
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:06,768
See? Who needs
platinum faucets?
200
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,736
Do you guys even have
faucets in here?
201
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,240
There's a communal bathroom
down the hallway.
202
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,504
It actually helped me come
to terms with losing my condo.
203
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:18,616
You don't sit on a toilet like that until
you've left the material world behind.
204
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,044
Pavel!
Hey, bros.
205
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,119
This is Pavel. He lives next door.
He's from Poland.
206
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:25,847
Britta?
207
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,789
♪ I'm getting rid of
Britta Getting rid of the B ♪♪
208
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:32,096
Excuse me. I have a future
murder victim to visit.
209
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,126
Cool.
Cool.
210
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,392
Cool, cool, cool.
Sorry?
211
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,208
Guys, what the hell?
"Getting Rid of Britta"?
212
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,512
That song was
disrespectful to me
213
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:56,780
and to the definition
of rhyme scheme.
214
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,619
Wow. If you don't like my song, you
don't have to listen, all right?
215
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,159
I'm an artist
and I write what I feel.
216
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,887
And I feel that you suck.
217
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,225
Oh, oh. All right, hold on, Vaughn.
218
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,595
Can I have a word with you?
219
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,401
Could you come here,
please, for a second?
220
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,476
What did you just say to her?
221
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,342
Listen, I know Britta's your friend,
but my song is more important.
222
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:26,841
Your song?
223
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,521
We wrote it together.
Are you trying to Garfunkel me?
224
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,452
Maybe, assuming
to Garfunkel someone
225
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,752
is to put up with them even
though they're a fat, lazy cat
226
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,259
who hogs the spotlight
and eats all the lasagna.
227
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:41,332
I get it. You're jealous of me.
What? Why?
228
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,900
Maybe because when
I put on these skinny jeans
229
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,038
my ass looks
like a baby pumpkin.
230
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,072
Or maybe because I'm not
a small-nippled credit-hogging jag
231
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,175
who only knows
three power chords.
232
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,106
My band, my song.
233
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,383
You want that, huh, Pierce?
How do you like that?
234
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,912
Aah!
235
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,185
You get on that horse.
236
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,288
Lates!
237
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:10,085
Pierce, did you just defend
my honor?
238
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,661
Huh?
239
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,892
Oh, yeah. Totally.
240
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:19,265
You'll light the candles
and you'll take a bite
241
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,963
and she'll take a bite
and you'll laugh.
242
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,845
And you'll offer her
your letter jacket
243
00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:29,503
after you notice this funny way
she shakes when she gets cold.
244
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:33,652
And she'll feel like
the luckiest girl in the world.
245
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:35,320
Right.
246
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:40,784
I couldn't have done this without
your help. You're really nice.
247
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,859
We should've hung out more
in high school.
248
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,164
Remember when you pretended
to be my backpack?
249
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:49,563
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
250
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,134
I'm funny.
251
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,204
All right. Ah.
252
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,103
I gotta go get ready.
253
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,904
Troy, wait. I have to tell you.
254
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,582
My appendix is bursting.
What?
255
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,755
Yeah. Yeah.
256
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,787
My appendix is bursting.
257
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,118
Oh. Oh, no.
258
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:18,422
Okay, two young students.
259
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,531
I think I've been
to this dance before.
260
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,598
You guys are
sexual partners, right?
261
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,197
Us? No.
262
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:28,203
No, he's my very good friend,
and I have appendicitis.
263
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,705
Oh.
264
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,446
Thanks for bringing me here.
265
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,672
Guess I ruined your date, huh?
Okay.
266
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,414
Doesn't seem to be
anything wrong with you.
267
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,883
Cool. I'll see you.
268
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,955
God. Where does it hurt?
269
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,319
Everywhere.
270
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,519
We have to quarantine you.
We gotta get you to a safe distance.
271
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,129
My date's on the east lawn.
272
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,697
East lawn, perfect.
Great.
273
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,834
Wait, wait. This is a date?
274
00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:57,161
Yeah, you need these.
275
00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,533
Nice. I'll be thinking of you.
276
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,071
Okay, I need to go.
277
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,264
No, we...
278
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,808
We have to observe you
overnight. It's policy.
279
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,980
We don't want another
Vanessa Parsons on our hands.
280
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,480
She was the Typhoid Mary
of herpes.
281
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:16,516
I'm kind of the Hawkeye
around here, so it's kind of a...
282
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,088
Are you seeing anybody?
283
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,059
You guys weren't
in Spanish class.
284
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,492
Knight Rider marathon.
285
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,599
The shadowy flight into the world
of a man who does not exist.
286
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,434
Britta, may I have a word?
287
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,377
Has this always been here?
288
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,014
You need to take Jeff back.
289
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,616
Mmm. Never had him,
don't want him, especially now.
290
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,548
He's got a real Phil Spector
vibe going.
291
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:49,847
He's like E.T.
292
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,990
He crashed in my place
and we're friends now,
293
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,056
which is great for me,
but bad for him.
294
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:57,195
He needs to get back.
What am I supposed to do?
295
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,128
Use your lady parts.
Abed.
296
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,268
Don't be naive. The charge between
you two is keeping him going.
297
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:06,927
Tell him you'll make love to him if he takes
a shower and finds a nice place to live.
298
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,608
I'm heading back.
Pavel's making bobka.
299
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:11,666
Do it, Britta. Seduce him.
300
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:15,439
Draw the tapeworm of Jeff's old self out
with the milk that is your sexuality.
301
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,013
No.
302
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,575
Then say goodbye to E.T.
303
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,986
Abed, it's open.
304
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:31,321
And your wife is married to an idiot.
305
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,327
What's wrong now, woman?
306
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,522
You.
307
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,998
You can't see further than them...
308
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,770
What are you doing?
That was The Jeffersons, honky.
309
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:44,341
I was wrong, okay?
Material possessions are important.
310
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:48,071
How much happier were the Jeffersons
than that family on Good Times?
311
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,307
Yeah, but they had good times.
Do good times really matter?
312
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,849
What about good cars,
good lobster?
313
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:58,046
What about that sport where
the British people ride the horses
314
00:15:58,257 --> 00:15:59,690
with the really long hammers?
315
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,655
Jeez, you are way out
of your element here.
316
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,796
Yes, and I do not believe
a single word I am saying for me.
317
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:05,987
But for you?
318
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:09,362
Maybe you're one of those rare people
with nothing underneath the surface.
319
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:13,335
Maybe if you put stain remover
on a turd, you don't get a diamond.
320
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,599
You just get a turd
with less direction in life.
321
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,936
Thanks, coach.
Can you turn the TV back on?
322
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,943
Faucets.
Italian faucets. Handcrafted.
323
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,417
These look like...
324
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:31,988
Wait.
325
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:36,861
I made this notch to indicate
optimal cleansing temperature
326
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:39,623
for combination skin.
327
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:40,821
These were mine?
328
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,400
For a fancy condo,
you've got awful security.
329
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,003
Install those in a new apartment
so that every day,
330
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,298
when you spend
too much time on your hair,
331
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,941
you can look down and think:
332
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:53,670
"I was a huge phony before.
I can do it again."
333
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,472
Yeah.
334
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,743
You're into me.
I beg your unbelievable pardon?
335
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:04,855
Look at all this work you're doing
just to have me around again.
336
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,524
You were more attracted to me
than you were willing to admit.
337
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,356
I was doing this all for Abed.
You are the worst.
338
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,362
Yeah, clearly.
339
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,366
Sorry.
Greendale, thank you for...
340
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:26,575
I want you to know I haven't changed
my mind about the band. I'm out.
341
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,610
We wanna recognize
a couple of sponsors.
342
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,373
First off is Anderson Septic.
343
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,416
Also, do me a favor,
will you? Lay off Britta.
344
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,110
I mean, she may walk
like she just got off a horse,
345
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:40,986
but underneath all that clown
makeup, she's a good kid.
346
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,992
Mm-hm. No worries, man.
347
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,655
I've moved on.
348
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,560
Lates.
Lates, okay.
349
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:50,929
Snakes. What...?
350
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:52,604
Greendale!
351
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:03,915
♪ Pierce, I don't
need you In my band ♪
352
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:07,644
♪ I don't need your heart
Or your hand ♪
353
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,687
♪ I am my own person ♪
354
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,414
♪ And, Pierce, you're a B ♪
355
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,754
Yeah, you heard me say it.
356
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:18,386
♪ Pierce, you're a B ♪
357
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,590
No!
358
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:28,433
Before you two proceed,
I have one thing to say.
359
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,576
Did you say it already?
360
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,479
I want my nana's blanket back.
361
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:39,511
Do you guys mind?
362
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,543
Could you scoot over?
363
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,449
It's an heirloom. I want it.
364
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,852
Thank you.
365
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,118
Have a nice date.
366
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,032
I don't care what you think.
367
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:55,825
For me, that was huge.
368
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:59,198
I know, sweetie.
Let's go find you some pants.
369
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:02,135
Okay?
Yeah, cool, thanks.
370
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,968
♪ This a song
for Pierce Him so old ♪
371
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,174
♪ His body made
Of wrinkles and folds ♪
372
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,313
♪ Stupid and ugly
He smells like a fart ♪
373
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,539
♪ Poo-poo in his pants
And poo-poo in my heart ♪♪
374
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,676
Hey, look what the cat dragged
out and licked clean.
375
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,554
I saw how much you missed me,
376
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,316
and smelled what happens
to Pavel on cabbage night,
377
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,551
and realized the world
was better off with me in it.
378
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,289
Thanks.
379
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,328
For caring.
380
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,902
Hey.
381
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,463
You looked like you moved out.
382
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:38,110
I checked into a motel
and I'm looking for apartments.
383
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,905
You would've been fine
with me staying forever?
384
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,172
Yup.
385
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,049
You're pretty cool, Abed.
You're a huge nerd.
386
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:47,913
Thanks.
387
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:53,854
♪ Pierce, Pierce,
Pierce Pierce, you're a B ♪
388
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,094
I'm Pierce.
389
00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:58,786
Yeah, song's about me.
390
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:02,866
♪ Pierce, Pierce, Pierce
Pierce, you're a B ♪
391
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,661
Yeah!
Yeah!
392
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,064
Come on, sing it for me.
393
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:09,070
♪ Pierce, Pierce, Pierce ♪
394
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,937
♪ Pierce, you're a B ♪
395
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,510
Yeah, he is.
396
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,444
♪ Pierce, Pierce, Pierce ♪
397
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,585
♪ Pierce, you're a B ♪♪
398
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,180
Ow!
399
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:28,854
We are Some Worries!
Good night, Greendale!
400
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,697
♪ East side, west
side North side, south ♪
401
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,594
♪ Vaughn's breath is so bad
His butt's mad at his mouth ♪
402
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,962
♪ This rap is by Pierce
Vaughn is dumb ♪
403
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,900
♪ He wears diapers to bed
And sucks his mother's thumb ♪
404
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,268
♪ And when he wakes up stupid
Wishing he was me ♪
405
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,411
♪ He has a big poop breakfast
With a glass of pee ♪
406
00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:48,978
♪ Then he goes to school
Where he's stupid again ♪
407
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,445
♪ And everybody hates him
Even all his friends ♪
408
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,983
♪ When you come after Pierce
Then the battle is on ♪
409
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:57,849
♪ So this rap goes out
To stupid Vaughn ♪♪
410
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:01,251
Uh-huh. Well played, Pierce.
411
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,257
This isn't over.