1
00:00:06,633 --> 00:00:08,001
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra,

2
00:00:08,035 --> 00:00:10,570
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra, Cobra,
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra, Cobra,

3
00:00:10,604 --> 00:00:12,472
Cobra, Cobra.

4
00:00:12,506 --> 00:00:14,273
Cobra!

5
00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:16,175
Destroy the Taj Mahal.

6
00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:18,578
Cobra!

7
00:00:23,484 --> 00:00:25,218
Not if G.I. Joe can help it.

8
00:00:25,252 --> 00:00:26,586
Roadblock, deep six.

9
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,054
Hold off those hiss tanks.

10
00:00:28,088 --> 00:00:30,223
- Yo, Joe!
- Hat Muffs, Pit Take,

11
00:00:30,257 --> 00:00:32,325
shoot down those rattlers.

12
00:00:34,495 --> 00:00:36,396
Um, excuse me, sir.

13
00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:38,464
Why is Cobra attacking a tourist attraction

14
00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:39,632
with zero tactical value,

15
00:00:39,666 --> 00:00:41,200
and with all due respect to India,

16
00:00:41,235 --> 00:00:42,468
why are we defending it?

17
00:00:42,503 --> 00:00:44,070
Tightship, you can overhaul G.I. Joe

18
00:00:44,104 --> 00:00:45,204
when you're commander.

19
00:00:45,239 --> 00:00:47,273
Which will clearly happen any day now,

20
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:49,208
as long as your [Bleep]
stay on full display.

21
00:00:49,243 --> 00:00:51,544
Whoa, Buzzkill, language.

22
00:00:51,578 --> 00:00:53,046
No, you can't have ice cream for lunch.

23
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,280
Put your brother on the phone.

24
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:55,481
Three Kids, put down that phone.

25
00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:57,050
We're in the middle of a battle.

26
00:00:57,084 --> 00:00:58,351
Oh, screw you, Flint.

27
00:00:58,385 --> 00:00:59,919
I'm in a battle called having three kids.

28
00:01:01,455 --> 00:01:03,690
Guys, we're a squad.
You're making me look bad.

29
00:01:03,724 --> 00:01:05,024
Well, if you're so great, Wingman,

30
00:01:05,059 --> 00:01:06,693
show us how it's done.

31
00:01:06,727 --> 00:01:09,228
With pleasure.

32
00:01:14,134 --> 00:01:16,502
We'll meet again, G.I. Joe.

33
00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:19,205
Good shooting, Wingman,

34
00:01:19,239 --> 00:01:20,440
but it looks like Destro's getting away.

35
00:01:20,474 --> 00:01:22,275
Not necessarily, sir.

36
00:01:22,309 --> 00:01:25,445
Jeez!

37
00:01:25,479 --> 00:01:26,713
What? Oh, no. What are you doing?

38
00:01:26,747 --> 00:01:29,115
Hey! Are you crazy? Wha... uh...

39
00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:37,223
Yo, Joe!

40
00:01:39,393 --> 00:01:41,260
What?

41
00:01:41,295 --> 00:01:43,529
What, we're... we're
not saying it together?

42
00:01:46,266 --> 00:01:48,568
Yo, Joe!

43
00:01:48,602 --> 00:01:51,270
♪ He'll fight for freedom,
wherever there's trouble ♪

44
00:01:51,305 --> 00:01:52,839
♪ G.I. Joe is there ♪

45
00:01:52,873 --> 00:01:56,342
♪ G.I. Joe, American hero ♪

46
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,544
♪ G.I. Joe is there ♪

47
00:01:58,579 --> 00:01:59,779
♪ it's G.I. Joe ♪

48
00:01:59,813 --> 00:02:01,447
♪ against Cobra the enemy ♪

49
00:02:01,482 --> 00:02:03,950
♪ fighting to save the day ♪

50
00:02:03,984 --> 00:02:06,586
♪ he never gives up, he's always there ♪

51
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:10,256
♪ fighting for freedom over land and air ♪

52
00:02:10,290 --> 00:02:13,059
♪ G.I. Joe, a real American hero ♪

53
00:02:13,093 --> 00:02:15,261
♪ G.I. Joe is there ♪

54
00:02:15,296 --> 00:02:16,829
G.I. Joe is the code name

55
00:02:16,864 --> 00:02:18,965
for America's daring, awesomely trained,

56
00:02:18,999 --> 00:02:20,433
awesome mission force.

57
00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:22,135
Its purpose... to fight Cobra,

58
00:02:22,169 --> 00:02:23,936
because they're terrorists.

59
00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:26,072
Look, I think I'm over-explaining it.

60
00:02:26,106 --> 00:02:27,273
The bad guys are snakes,

61
00:02:27,308 --> 00:02:29,409
and the good guys are army people.

62
00:02:29,475 --> 00:02:30,742
♪ He never gives up ♪

63
00:02:30,777 --> 00:02:31,977
♪ he'll stay till the fight's won ♪

64
00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:34,179
♪ G.I. Joe will dare ♪

65
00:02:34,213 --> 00:02:37,349
♪ G.I. Joe, a real American hero ♪

66
00:02:37,383 --> 00:02:40,719
♪ G.I. Joe ♪

67
00:02:46,756 --> 00:02:49,324
Wingman, Three Kids, Buzzkill, Tightship,

68
00:02:49,358 --> 00:02:51,126
you stand accused of violence,

69
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,795
suggestive language, and mature situations

70
00:02:53,830 --> 00:02:56,531
unbecoming of G.I. Joe. What say you?

71
00:02:56,566 --> 00:02:58,100
Look, I understand this is the first time

72
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:01,103
a G.I. Joe has killed anyone
in all of recorded history.

73
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,704
- However...
- However, let's be truthful.

74
00:03:02,739 --> 00:03:04,539
This is a very disorganized militia.

75
00:03:04,574 --> 00:03:06,074
Yeah, what's anyone's rank?

76
00:03:06,109 --> 00:03:08,176
We're all just dressed like
serial killers and strippers.

77
00:03:08,211 --> 00:03:09,478
I have three kids.

78
00:03:09,512 --> 00:03:11,246
You guys are not helping.

79
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,415
Duke, Flint, Scarlett,

80
00:03:13,449 --> 00:03:16,184
yes, it's true I killed Destro.

81
00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:17,971
And I promise not to do it again.

82
00:03:18,005 --> 00:03:19,372
But is it really a crime?

83
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,408
Is Cobra not a ruthless
terrorist organization

84
00:03:21,442 --> 00:03:23,043
determined to rule the world?

85
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,544
And if we never kill them,

86
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,980
are we not basically on their side?

87
00:03:27,014 --> 00:03:29,483
And won't this war therefore last forever

88
00:03:29,517 --> 00:03:31,218
unless we finish killing Cobra

89
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,253
or start killing ourselves?

90
00:03:35,756 --> 00:03:37,824
How long are we in here, Cold Shoulder?

91
00:03:37,859 --> 00:03:39,226
Cold Shoulder?

92
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,460
What's with that guy?

93
00:03:40,495 --> 00:03:42,529
"Start killing Cobra or killing ourselves"?

94
00:03:42,563 --> 00:03:44,865
We were in the fourth
down. It was a hail mary.

95
00:03:44,899 --> 00:03:47,367
This place is a graveyard
for G.I. Joe rejects.

96
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,735
Look who's in here...

97
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,971
Deep Dish, Shark Arms,

98
00:03:51,005 --> 00:03:52,706
Weird Head, Home Free,

99
00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:55,075
Place Holder, Sleep Apnea, and us!

100
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,276
I have three kids.

101
00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:57,978
This is the worst day of my life.

102
00:03:58,012 --> 00:04:00,146
Is it life?

103
00:04:00,181 --> 00:04:02,415
My name is Fourth Wall.

104
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,417
And I believe that what we perceive as life

105
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,854
is actually a syndicated
children's cartoon.

106
00:04:07,889 --> 00:04:10,257
What? Shut up, Fourth Wall.

107
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,526
If this were a cartoon,
there'd be a word for "cartoon"

108
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,262
in our language, which there isn't.

109
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,264
There'd also be less movement, less detail,

110
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,832
and constant lip-sync mistakes.

111
00:04:18,866 --> 00:04:20,901
What if I told you there was more,

112
00:04:20,935 --> 00:04:22,569
a higher reality,

113
00:04:22,603 --> 00:04:24,938
with more than 65 colors and
at least three dimensions?

114
00:04:24,972 --> 00:04:26,273
Then I guess someone
would have to lock you up

115
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,474
with the crazy people.

116
00:04:27,508 --> 00:04:28,708
Oh, good.

117
00:04:28,743 --> 00:04:32,112
I recently infiltrated
a secret Cobra dig site,

118
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,680
code name: Greendale.

119
00:04:36,284 --> 00:04:37,584
What did you say?

120
00:04:37,618 --> 00:04:39,586
Cobra has discovered an
ancient buried structure

121
00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,621
filled with strange things.

122
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,023
Look.

123
00:04:43,057 --> 00:04:45,592
- Oh, yeah, look at that.
- It's a child's toy.

124
00:04:45,626 --> 00:04:47,961
The toy was more real
than this at Greendale.

125
00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:49,029
Ow, oof.

126
00:04:49,063 --> 00:04:51,598
What is that word?

127
00:04:51,632 --> 00:04:52,632
Greendale?

128
00:05:02,744 --> 00:05:05,111
Cobra's out to take over the world,

129
00:05:05,146 --> 00:05:06,580
but G.I. Joe is there.

130
00:05:06,614 --> 00:05:08,248
G.I. Joe must be destroyed.

131
00:05:08,282 --> 00:05:09,950
Cobra hiss coming for attack!

132
00:05:09,984 --> 00:05:12,586
It's the new G.I. Joe submachopter,

133
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:13,587
piloted by Wingman.

134
00:05:13,621 --> 00:05:15,922
- Retreat!
- Yo, Joe!

135
00:05:15,957 --> 00:05:17,491
We are in a toy commercial!

136
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:20,127
I can't hear you when
you're covered in rocks.

137
00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:21,862
It doesn't hurt because it isn't real.

138
00:05:21,896 --> 00:05:23,897
- Good job, Wingman.
- Thank you, Duke.

139
00:05:23,931 --> 00:05:25,999
G.I. Joe is my entire life.

140
00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,934
Yo, Joe!

141
00:05:27,969 --> 00:05:29,770
All other figures and
vehicles sold separately.

142
00:05:30,972 --> 00:05:33,907
- Wingman, what happened?
- I don't know.

143
00:05:33,941 --> 00:05:36,076
He clearly has a connection
to the non-cartoon reality.

144
00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:37,144
When I mentioned Greenda...

145
00:05:37,178 --> 00:05:39,012
Shut up. Stop saying that word.

146
00:05:39,046 --> 00:05:40,580
You're some kind of demon man,

147
00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:43,216
and... and your outfit
is three layers of racist.

148
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:44,317
Oh, my God, he's having an attack.

149
00:05:44,352 --> 00:05:45,852
Jeff, can you hear us? It's Annie.

150
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,120
What did you just call me?

151
00:05:47,155 --> 00:05:48,388
Jeffrey, do you know where you are?

152
00:05:48,423 --> 00:05:49,656
Be quiet. Leave me alone.

153
00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:52,392
I... I don't belong here.
I belong in G.I. Joe.

154
00:05:52,426 --> 00:05:55,462
Ow! And don't touch me. Who
wears a saw on their arm?

155
00:06:01,836 --> 00:06:03,804
The first time I met Destro,

156
00:06:03,838 --> 00:06:05,572
he asked me if he should have

157
00:06:05,606 --> 00:06:07,808
his entire head coated in chrome.

158
00:06:07,842 --> 00:06:09,709
I said, "no. How would you do that?"

159
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,179
How would that even work?

160
00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:15,082
Look, I'm not good at eulogies

161
00:06:15,116 --> 00:06:16,750
because I've never had to give one.

162
00:06:16,784 --> 00:06:20,420
All I want to know is,
how did G.I. Joe do this?

163
00:06:20,455 --> 00:06:23,390
We've been shooting at each
other and missing for 20 years.

164
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,558
Now all of a sudden...

165
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,326
Unbelievable. What?

166
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,427
Cobra Commander,

167
00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,629
it's Vice Cobra Assistant Commander.

168
00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:31,465
We just got a very interesting energy surge

169
00:06:31,499 --> 00:06:32,632
at the Greendale site.

170
00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:35,535
Oh, okay. That's super fascinating.

171
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:37,471
Um, Destro's dead!

172
00:06:37,505 --> 00:06:40,607
Oh, my gosh, Destro? Were you guys close?

173
00:06:40,641 --> 00:06:42,075
Were we close? Yes!

174
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,276
What kind of a question is...

175
00:06:43,311 --> 00:06:46,380
Okay, fine. I loved him!

176
00:06:46,414 --> 00:06:48,115
Is that what you want to hear?

177
00:06:48,149 --> 00:06:49,449
Called it.

178
00:06:50,752 --> 00:06:52,185
And we are going to find
out how this happened,

179
00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:57,157
and G.I. Joe is going to pay-bra!

180
00:06:57,191 --> 00:06:58,725
I riffed that.

181
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,026
No wrong answers.

182
00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:01,828
It's a condition that comes on

183
00:07:01,863 --> 00:07:03,130
when you get to a certain weight.

184
00:07:03,164 --> 00:07:04,231
Oh, I see.

185
00:07:04,265 --> 00:07:05,699
So is there a Mr. Tightship, or...

186
00:07:05,733 --> 00:07:06,700
Um...

187
00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:09,436
That's a code three.

188
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,973
Cobra forces are infiltrating the base.

189
00:07:13,007 --> 00:07:14,641
Cobra!

190
00:07:14,675 --> 00:07:19,479
Avenge my totally platonic friend!

191
00:07:19,514 --> 00:07:21,114
Oh, great, and we're stuck in here.

192
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,516
We don't have to be.

193
00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:24,951
For 15 years, I have used
my trademark tablespoon

194
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,187
to excavate a tunnel,

195
00:07:27,221 --> 00:07:29,890
swallowing handfuls of
dirt and rock with my meals

196
00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:31,224
and listening only to Smashmouth

197
00:07:31,259 --> 00:07:33,093
in order to justify this poster.

198
00:07:33,127 --> 00:07:36,696
Now I am within inches of reaching the...

199
00:07:36,731 --> 00:07:38,498
Come on, if we help save the base,

200
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:41,868
maybe they'll let us be G.I. Joes again.

201
00:07:41,903 --> 00:07:43,904
Battle stations!

202
00:07:43,938 --> 00:07:46,339
Snakes at 6:00.

203
00:07:47,942 --> 00:07:50,444
Okay, now remember... don't kill anybody.

204
00:07:50,478 --> 00:07:51,978
Just lay down a suppressive fire,

205
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,080
like this.

206
00:07:54,115 --> 00:07:56,550
Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry.

207
00:07:56,584 --> 00:07:58,852
Oh, God.

208
00:07:58,886 --> 00:08:00,754
Oh, man. Oh, darn it.

209
00:08:00,788 --> 00:08:02,322
Yeah, I'd say they're suppressed.

210
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,725
Jeez. Aw, was that lifeline?

211
00:08:04,759 --> 00:08:05,759
Sorry!

212
00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:07,160
Someone's killing people.

213
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,895
It's Wingman! He's escaped!

214
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:11,698
Lay down a suppressive fire!

215
00:08:11,732 --> 00:08:13,500
They're suppressive firing at us!

216
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,568
I think we'll be okay.

217
00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:15,969
Remember, this is all just a cartoon

218
00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:17,003
about action figures for kids.

219
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,171
Shut up, Fourth Wall,

220
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,273
and get into the new G.I. Joe submachopter

221
00:08:20,308 --> 00:08:23,009
with twin rocket launchers
and rotating attack jet.

222
00:08:26,948 --> 00:08:29,282
All I want to do is be a good G.I. Joe.

223
00:08:29,317 --> 00:08:30,884
What's wrong with me?

224
00:08:30,918 --> 00:08:33,587
I'm not sure, but I think our
answers will be at Greendale.

225
00:08:33,621 --> 00:08:35,455
Ugh.

226
00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:36,623
Whoops.

227
00:08:36,657 --> 00:08:37,724
Shouldn't somebody be flying the plane?

228
00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:39,126
- It's submachopter.
- Whatever.

229
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,260
Will somebody grab the stick?

230
00:08:40,294 --> 00:08:42,362
I don't wanna die up here! Oh, Lord!

231
00:08:46,631 --> 00:08:48,565
The G.I. Joe mutineers
are even worse than Cobra

232
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,666
because they're traitors.

233
00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:51,735
- Buzzkill...
- All government is a lie.

234
00:08:51,770 --> 00:08:52,736
Tightship...

235
00:08:52,771 --> 00:08:54,037
I control everything, or else!

236
00:08:54,072 --> 00:08:56,173
- Three Kids...
- My family comes first.

237
00:08:56,207 --> 00:08:57,307
Fourth Wall...

238
00:08:57,342 --> 00:08:58,308
Doesn't this guy also do the voice

239
00:08:58,343 --> 00:08:59,309
for He-man commercials?

240
00:08:59,344 --> 00:09:00,511
And their nefarious,

241
00:09:00,545 --> 00:09:01,545
ruthless leader, Wingman.

242
00:09:01,579 --> 00:09:02,546
Hey, that's not true!

243
00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:03,914
I love G.I. Joe!

244
00:09:03,948 --> 00:09:05,616
I don't know, man. Seems like you hate it.

245
00:09:05,650 --> 00:09:07,251
This is all a misunderstanding.

246
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,719
Tell it to the judge.

247
00:09:08,753 --> 00:09:11,221
Everything is sold
separately. Assembly required.

248
00:09:11,256 --> 00:09:12,289
Nothing is happening.

249
00:09:13,324 --> 00:09:14,425
Cartoon coffee?

250
00:09:14,459 --> 00:09:16,193
Tightship is piloting the submachopter.

251
00:09:16,227 --> 00:09:17,895
At first it was Buzzkill, but
she almost crashed five times,

252
00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:19,129
and when we pointed it out,

253
00:09:19,164 --> 00:09:20,664
she called us sexist
and went to the bathroom.

254
00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:22,099
You know she's smoking in there, right?

255
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:24,268
She broke the detector.
That's a federal crime.

256
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,470
I keep having these visions.

257
00:09:26,504 --> 00:09:28,439
Kids, little boys...

258
00:09:28,473 --> 00:09:29,606
Uh, are these visions

259
00:09:29,641 --> 00:09:31,308
we should share with the authorities?

260
00:09:31,343 --> 00:09:33,010
I want to go to this Greendale place now.

261
00:09:33,044 --> 00:09:34,111
We're on our way.

262
00:09:34,145 --> 00:09:35,479
Do you remember Greendale, Jeffrey?

263
00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:37,514
Why did you call me that?
What's with you people?

264
00:09:37,549 --> 00:09:38,816
What do you mean, "you people"?

265
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,184
- Oh!
- Nice.

266
00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:46,575
That's the entrance to the excavation site.

267
00:09:46,609 --> 00:09:48,410
How do we get past those guards?

268
00:09:48,445 --> 00:09:50,579
I think I got an idea.

269
00:09:53,249 --> 00:09:55,017
Your idea was doing exactly what we did

270
00:09:55,051 --> 00:09:56,552
to those other guards back at headquarters?

271
00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:57,820
It was proven effective.

272
00:09:57,854 --> 00:09:59,154
I don't know, seems kind of cheap.

273
00:09:59,189 --> 00:10:01,056
From an animated perspective, very cheap.

274
00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:03,926
Help me club this hatch open.

275
00:10:07,464 --> 00:10:10,099
I know this place.

276
00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:12,468
It's filling me with a
sense of endless hours

277
00:10:12,502 --> 00:10:15,938
for unfair wages and printers
that never have toner.

278
00:10:15,972 --> 00:10:17,840
What is this, Major Dick?

279
00:10:17,874 --> 00:10:20,109
That is a request for hazard pay.

280
00:10:20,143 --> 00:10:21,310
Maybe you haven't heard,

281
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:23,512
but we can actually die now.

282
00:10:23,546 --> 00:10:24,913
You know we can't afford this.

283
00:10:24,948 --> 00:10:26,348
Oh, so we can afford to create

284
00:10:26,382 --> 00:10:28,617
a new model of weaponized
vehicle once a week,

285
00:10:28,651 --> 00:10:31,286
but we basically get minimum
wage to risk our lives.

286
00:10:31,321 --> 00:10:33,522
Well, welcome to Cobra, Ximxam.

287
00:10:33,556 --> 00:10:35,824
Maybe you noticed our logo was a snake?

288
00:10:35,859 --> 00:10:36,859
Suck it up, guys!

289
00:10:36,893 --> 00:10:38,327
And while I have your attention, here.

290
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,795
What is this?

291
00:10:39,829 --> 00:10:42,064
We have to lower the salaries.
Our insurance is going up.

292
00:10:42,098 --> 00:10:43,198
- No way.
- What?

293
00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:45,134
Hey, you people can actually die now.

294
00:10:45,168 --> 00:10:46,802
It affects the health plan.

295
00:10:46,836 --> 00:10:48,937
Vice Cobra Assistant Commander,

296
00:10:48,972 --> 00:10:50,472
we've been infiltrated by Joes!

297
00:10:50,507 --> 00:10:52,608
Well?

298
00:10:52,642 --> 00:10:53,609
Protect me!

299
00:10:53,643 --> 00:10:55,377
Hello, Greendale.

300
00:10:55,411 --> 00:10:57,613
I understand G.I. Joe has
breached the perimeter.

301
00:10:57,647 --> 00:10:59,148
Please eliminate them.

302
00:10:59,182 --> 00:11:01,817
And please don't forget this
Saturday is the Cobra fun run.

303
00:11:01,851 --> 00:11:04,353
If you miss it, you're letting
the anti-terrorists win.

304
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:06,822
Ugh, overkill.

305
00:11:06,856 --> 00:11:08,390
Yes, it's me.

306
00:11:08,425 --> 00:11:09,892
But which me

307
00:11:09,926 --> 00:11:12,127
is the real me?

308
00:11:15,698 --> 00:11:16,665
Probably the one in the middle.

309
00:11:16,699 --> 00:11:17,699
The middle, right?

310
00:11:17,734 --> 00:11:20,536
Aah! Ow, my leg! Ow!

311
00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:22,337
Now, before you fight me, G.I. Joe,

312
00:11:22,372 --> 00:11:23,505
you should be warned.

313
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,308
I, Ximxam, have a twin brother named Mixmax

314
00:11:26,342 --> 00:11:27,843
that feels all my pain.

315
00:11:27,877 --> 00:11:30,879
And how is that supposed to affect us?

316
00:11:30,914 --> 00:11:33,182
Psychologically?

317
00:11:33,216 --> 00:11:34,183
Aah!

318
00:11:34,217 --> 00:11:36,218
Today's soup is a carrot purée

319
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,554
with a... ow! Damn it! Aah!

320
00:11:38,588 --> 00:11:41,056
Sorry. My twin brother is a...

321
00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:43,325
it's pointless to explain.

322
00:11:43,359 --> 00:11:44,760
- Hurts so much!
- Right?

323
00:11:44,794 --> 00:11:47,362
It shredded my meniscus!

324
00:11:47,477 --> 00:11:48,944
Whup! Whup! Whup!

325
00:11:48,978 --> 00:11:50,679
Oh! Ow, ooh, ooh.

326
00:11:50,713 --> 00:11:52,114
Shouldn't have done that. Ooh.

327
00:11:52,148 --> 00:11:54,082
Nope. Don't like that sound.

328
00:11:54,117 --> 00:11:55,450
Incredible.

329
00:11:55,485 --> 00:11:56,618
It's as if there's
something about this place

330
00:11:56,653 --> 00:11:59,454
that feeds on ambition.

331
00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:09,631
I came from here. I work here.

332
00:12:09,666 --> 00:12:12,401
My name is Jeff Winger. And you're Annie.

333
00:12:12,435 --> 00:12:14,169
And... and Shirley.

334
00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:15,671
And Abed and Britta.

335
00:12:15,705 --> 00:12:17,639
Britta? What kind of lame name is that?

336
00:12:17,674 --> 00:12:20,108
I wanna be Buzzkill
because of my awesome saw.

337
00:12:22,078 --> 00:12:24,379
You guys are my friends in real life.

338
00:12:24,414 --> 00:12:27,115
This is my imagination or something.

339
00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:28,183
Freeze, everybody!

340
00:12:28,218 --> 00:12:29,318
Don't make me zap you!

341
00:12:29,352 --> 00:12:30,452
Craig, it's me, Jeff.

342
00:12:30,486 --> 00:12:32,554
Jeffrey! Are you okay?

343
00:12:32,589 --> 00:12:34,556
No, he's not. Take it
from an expert in delusion.

344
00:12:34,591 --> 00:12:36,325
If Jeff's hallucinating
something this cool,

345
00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:37,759
something's wrong, he needs to get back.

346
00:12:37,794 --> 00:12:38,894
Wingman, do you have your wingpack,

347
00:12:38,928 --> 00:12:40,395
- or is it sold separately?
- Here it is.

348
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,297
That's good, my Fourth
Wall penetrating powers

349
00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:44,466
combined with this medium's
lack of internal logic

350
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:46,201
should allow me to come up
with an oversimplified solution.

351
00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:49,304
I'll be right back. I
have to get something.

352
00:12:49,339 --> 00:12:51,206
- What?
- The truth.

353
00:13:02,886 --> 00:13:05,587
Oh, crap.

354
00:13:07,123 --> 00:13:09,024
Ah, Jeff, while you were
gone, I figured everything out

355
00:13:09,058 --> 00:13:10,559
and did everything that needs to be done.

356
00:13:10,593 --> 00:13:12,828
This may be your delusion, but
I'm still the one on the ball.

357
00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:15,264
I know why I'm here. I'm unconscious.

358
00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:17,499
Jeff Winger's unconscious, because he...

359
00:13:17,534 --> 00:13:20,202
I drank a fifth of scotch.

360
00:13:20,236 --> 00:13:22,671
And I took some pills.

361
00:13:22,705 --> 00:13:25,574
Jeffrey, shame on you. I have three kids.

362
00:13:25,608 --> 00:13:27,209
Are you saying you tried to...

363
00:13:27,243 --> 00:13:28,644
No, they were these stupid youth pills

364
00:13:28,678 --> 00:13:30,479
that I bought in Koreatown.

365
00:13:30,513 --> 00:13:33,815
I took them because it's my birthday and...

366
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:36,418
- I've been lying about my age.
- Whoa.

367
00:13:36,453 --> 00:13:38,420
Yeah, it's not something I'm
really ready to deal with.

368
00:13:38,455 --> 00:13:39,555
I guess you found a way to deal with it

369
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:41,123
unconsciously through a psychotic break.

370
00:13:41,157 --> 00:13:42,291
Happens to the best of us.

371
00:13:42,325 --> 00:13:43,959
Now, these are the three layers of reality.

372
00:13:43,993 --> 00:13:45,427
We are in the cartoon layer.

373
00:13:45,462 --> 00:13:46,895
It's separated from the live-action layer

374
00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:49,698
by a dangerous mid-layer called
children's toy commercials,

375
00:13:49,732 --> 00:13:51,166
which I believe you're
seeing in your visions.

376
00:13:51,201 --> 00:13:53,302
I've modified your wingpack
to break this barrier, and...

377
00:13:53,336 --> 00:13:56,138
- I'm not going back.
- Jeff, you have to go back.

378
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:59,308
I don't wanna be a middle-aged
community college teacher.

379
00:13:59,342 --> 00:14:01,210
I wanna be in G.I. Joe.

380
00:14:01,244 --> 00:14:02,478
I wanna fight for freedom

381
00:14:02,512 --> 00:14:04,079
wherever there's trouble forever.

382
00:14:04,113 --> 00:14:06,548
Jeff, that's your
ten-year-old self talking.

383
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:09,051
You've receded into some
infantile part of your mind.

384
00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:11,720
Imaginary Britta is right.
And only imaginary Britta.

385
00:14:11,754 --> 00:14:12,988
In these visions you're having,

386
00:14:13,022 --> 00:14:14,256
a giant child is controlling you.

387
00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:15,290
You have to get away from him.

388
00:14:15,325 --> 00:14:17,026
I am him! That's the point.

389
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,595
I created this. I chose this.

390
00:14:19,629 --> 00:14:22,164
But do you understand
that the real Jeff Winger

391
00:14:22,198 --> 00:14:24,299
is in some kind of actual,
real medical jeopardy?

392
00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:25,467
Like the kind in a one-hour drama?

393
00:14:25,502 --> 00:14:28,070
Jeff, please. I don't want you to die.

394
00:14:28,104 --> 00:14:29,238
Can you hear me?

395
00:14:29,272 --> 00:14:31,507
I'm only dying out there, Annie.

396
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:32,708
In here we're immortal.

397
00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:34,194
Look at the rack I gave you.

398
00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:36,563
Those are gonna stay right
where they are for an eternity.

399
00:14:36,598 --> 00:14:39,700
You're welcome.

400
00:14:39,734 --> 00:14:42,369
Yo, Jobra!

401
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,904
"Yo, Jobra"?

402
00:14:43,938 --> 00:14:45,906
We talked it over and realized that since

403
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:48,175
none of us can kill each
other, we might as well team up.

404
00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:50,711
Seeing as we've got a common enemy.

405
00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:51,912
Seize them!

406
00:14:51,946 --> 00:14:53,313
You can't seize me.

407
00:14:53,348 --> 00:14:55,415
I am the creator of your reality.

408
00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:58,051
I am Neo in the third act of the Matrix.

409
00:14:58,086 --> 00:15:01,054
I'm also Neo in the first
act of the second Matrix.

410
00:15:01,089 --> 00:15:02,623
I didn't get around to
seeing the third one,

411
00:15:02,657 --> 00:15:03,690
but my guess is... oh!

412
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,392
Cobra and G.I. Joe have finally united.

413
00:15:09,427 --> 00:15:10,393
Do you guys need anything?

414
00:15:10,428 --> 00:15:11,528
We could probably use some milk.

415
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,296
Let's go get some milk for G.I. Joe.

416
00:15:13,331 --> 00:15:16,633
I'll wait it out in this cell
until you guys can reeducate me.

417
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,268
Yo, Jobra!

418
00:15:18,302 --> 00:15:19,503
Yo, Jobra.

419
00:15:19,537 --> 00:15:21,171
All figures come with
their own accessories.

420
00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:22,906
Wingman sold separately or something.

421
00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:29,679
Ah, look who'ssssss conscious again.

422
00:15:29,714 --> 00:15:31,948
You're pretty selective
with those snake "S" s.

423
00:15:31,983 --> 00:15:33,350
What are you, my life coach?

424
00:15:33,384 --> 00:15:36,052
I'd make fun of some
physical detail about you,

425
00:15:36,087 --> 00:15:37,220
but there aren't any.

426
00:15:37,345 --> 00:15:39,646
You look like some Aryan foosball figure.

427
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,581
Guys, you don't have to keep me prisoner.

428
00:15:41,616 --> 00:15:43,016
I want what you want.

429
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,085
We can't just have you
running around, Wingman.

430
00:15:45,119 --> 00:15:46,086
You're too powerful.

431
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,787
So let's share the power.

432
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,623
We can be gods here forever.

433
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,125
For realsies?

434
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,160
Absolutely. I don't wanna leave here.

435
00:15:54,195 --> 00:15:57,063
I wanna hang out with you
guys and blow stuff up.

436
00:15:57,098 --> 00:15:59,899
Hmm. All right.

437
00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:02,569
- Yo, Jobra.
- Yo, Jobra.

438
00:16:02,603 --> 00:16:04,137
Yo, Jobra.

439
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:08,208
Say, do you mind if we ask you
a few questions about real life?

440
00:16:08,242 --> 00:16:09,609
No problem.

441
00:16:09,644 --> 00:16:12,112
- Ask.
- So...

442
00:16:12,146 --> 00:16:14,481
What do boobies look like?

443
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:18,251
Wait. You don't know?

444
00:16:18,286 --> 00:16:20,554
You guys have never seen a naked woman?

445
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,656
You don't have to make us feel bad.

446
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,525
Have you guys ever tasted scotch?

447
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,062
Does scotch liquor exist here?

448
00:16:29,096 --> 00:16:30,797
You know what?

449
00:16:30,831 --> 00:16:34,000
Can I just go to the bathroom real quick?

450
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,269
Sure. It's the second door
over there on the right.

451
00:16:36,304 --> 00:16:38,071
Hey! We can't go to the bathroom!

452
00:16:38,105 --> 00:16:40,574
Fool! He's getting away!

453
00:16:53,254 --> 00:16:54,588
This had better work.

454
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:57,090
No, no, no, wait!

455
00:16:58,459 --> 00:17:00,560
Get off me! I wanna go home!

456
00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:03,129
Take me with you! I want
to see women's boobs!

457
00:17:03,164 --> 00:17:04,931
We can't both go!

458
00:17:04,966 --> 00:17:08,368
You're slowing me down! Let go!

459
00:17:10,805 --> 00:17:14,641
I can feel it! Yes! I can feel reality!

460
00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:17,544
I've never felt so alive!

461
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:20,580
Because you're fictional!
You can't survive this!

462
00:17:20,615 --> 00:17:22,716
Wait, why does my back hurt?

463
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,252
Why do I just have random pains in my body?

464
00:17:25,286 --> 00:17:28,688
Why is my ability to appreciate
new music diminishing?

465
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:35,562
Need to gain speed before...

466
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,864
Wingman is trying to escape G.I. Joe,

467
00:17:37,899 --> 00:17:39,332
and it's up to you to hold him back

468
00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:40,634
with your inner child's hand.

469
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,302
Damn it, I didn't make it.

470
00:17:42,336 --> 00:17:45,372
I'm not controlling him!
He's doing this himself!

471
00:17:45,406 --> 00:17:46,373
Screw you, kid!

472
00:17:46,407 --> 00:17:48,275
Ow! He burnt my hand.

473
00:17:48,309 --> 00:17:50,277
The Wingman wingpack is
not available in stores.

474
00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:51,711
You control the toy.

475
00:17:51,746 --> 00:17:53,847
You control it, my ass.

476
00:17:53,881 --> 00:17:56,183
- What is it doing?
- Making a man of you.

477
00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,986
Everything sold separately.

478
00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:01,354
Everyone dies eventually.

479
00:18:01,389 --> 00:18:04,491
Nobody gets out alive.

480
00:18:04,525 --> 00:18:06,293
His eyes are opening.

481
00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:08,128
Yeah, but that happens when people die too.

482
00:18:08,162 --> 00:18:10,430
- Jeff! Jeffrey!
- Wait, Britta, don't slap him!

483
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,132
Jeffrey, it's me, the Dean. I'm right here.

484
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,300
Wait, wait, no, no, I think you have to...

485
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:15,068
Oh, stop it, I'm awake.

486
00:18:15,102 --> 00:18:16,069
Oh!

487
00:18:17,438 --> 00:18:19,773
Jeff, you've been keeping
your birthday a secret?

488
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,241
Yeah. Most people have cake.

489
00:18:21,275 --> 00:18:24,244
Not a fifth of scotch
and what the hell else.

490
00:18:24,278 --> 00:18:27,214
"Age reverse, life extend power"?

491
00:18:31,619 --> 00:18:33,153
This is Korean.

492
00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:35,422
- Okay, what am I?
- Chinese!

493
00:18:35,456 --> 00:18:36,756
Okay, I swear to God I feel Korean.

494
00:18:36,791 --> 00:18:38,892
Guys...

495
00:18:38,926 --> 00:18:39,893
I'm 40.

496
00:18:39,927 --> 00:18:41,027
What?

497
00:18:41,062 --> 00:18:42,295
- Wow.
- I'm so sorry.

498
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,296
Yeah, we knew that.

499
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:46,399
You know, I guess we knew

500
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:48,235
that you had to be around 30 when we met.

501
00:18:48,269 --> 00:18:50,237
Yeah, and it has been five years.

502
00:18:50,271 --> 00:18:53,340
And even if he had been 32,
we'd have to know he would be...

503
00:18:53,374 --> 00:18:55,642
- This isn't helping.
- You guys know I'm 38, right?

504
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,377
What?

505
00:18:57,411 --> 00:18:59,212
I'm kidding.

506
00:18:59,247 --> 00:19:00,947
But, Jeff, you shouldn't
almost die over a number.

507
00:19:00,982 --> 00:19:02,883
What's important are ranges of numbers.

508
00:19:02,917 --> 00:19:04,618
You're still 18 to 49 for almost a decade.

509
00:19:04,652 --> 00:19:05,986
That's valuable to society.

510
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,888
You have any more of these pills left?

511
00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:10,056
I had the craziest dream.

512
00:19:10,091 --> 00:19:11,291
It was all animated

513
00:19:11,325 --> 00:19:14,394
and a G.I. Joe cartoon,
and you were all in it.

514
00:19:14,428 --> 00:19:15,695
In it? How much?

515
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:17,230
What clothes did you draw me in?

516
00:19:17,265 --> 00:19:18,665
Mm, fully animated?

517
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,700
But it was all a dream
because you were unconscious.

518
00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:21,902
Remember that Christmas when I...

519
00:19:21,936 --> 00:19:23,970
Yes!

520
00:19:24,005 --> 00:19:26,873
Jeff, here's your present.

521
00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:28,775
Slim Pickings at the hospital gift shop,

522
00:19:28,810 --> 00:19:32,078
but we made do.

523
00:19:33,147 --> 00:19:35,582
"It's a old boy."

524
00:19:35,616 --> 00:19:37,451
- Yes.
- He is a old boy.

525
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:39,252
He's a old boy.

526
00:19:39,287 --> 00:19:41,121
Bring it in, guys.

527
00:19:41,155 --> 00:19:42,188
Jeff!

528
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,457
Hey, listen, I got a former partner

529
00:19:44,492 --> 00:19:47,661
that's been here since
'89 in a coma, so... hmm.

530
00:19:47,695 --> 00:19:50,096
1889?

531
00:19:50,131 --> 00:19:52,098
Winger, you're funny.

532
00:20:01,064 --> 00:20:03,466
- This is cool!
- Make my name too.

533
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,677
- What are you guys, cavemen?
- Buzzkill!

534
00:20:05,702 --> 00:20:07,302
What you're doing is
a waste of spray paint.

535
00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,705
We live in a fascist police
state disguised as democracy.

536
00:20:09,739 --> 00:20:11,640
You think you're gonna
shatter that illusion

537
00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:13,208
by celebrating your own
meaningless identities?

538
00:20:13,242 --> 00:20:15,711
- Is church over yet?
- Fourth Wall!

539
00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:17,846
A good syndicated cartoon
has a lesson at the end.

540
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,381
But getting heavy-handed or preachy

541
00:20:19,415 --> 00:20:22,017
could turn an entire generation
into jaded, sarcastic babies.

542
00:20:22,051 --> 00:20:24,686
- Be friendly and direct.
- And keep the message simple.

543
00:20:24,721 --> 00:20:26,488
Graffiti is bad. Go play sports.

544
00:20:26,522 --> 00:20:28,523
- Cool!
- I get it!

545
00:20:28,558 --> 00:20:30,358
I was trying to hold
them to a higher standard.

546
00:20:30,393 --> 00:20:32,527
If the media tells kids what
to think, all they'll know is...

547
00:20:32,562 --> 00:20:33,528
And knowing is half the battle.

548
00:20:33,563 --> 00:20:35,530
What?

549
00:20:35,531 --> 00:20:36,531
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -