1 00:00:05,467 --> 00:00:06,807 Cobra, Cobra, Cobra. 2 00:00:06,968 --> 00:00:09,554 Cobra, Cobra, Cobra. 3 00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:13,980 Cobra! 4 00:00:14,142 --> 00:00:15,945 Destroy the Taj Mahal. 5 00:00:16,102 --> 00:00:18,273 Cobra! 6 00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:24,907 Not if G.I. Joe can help it. 7 00:00:25,069 --> 00:00:27,655 Roadblock, Deep Six, hold off those H.I.S.S. Tanks. 8 00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:29,910 - Yo, Joe! - Hat Muffs, Spit Take... 9 00:00:30,074 --> 00:00:31,996 ...shoot down those Rattlers. 10 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,165 Eject! 11 00:00:34,329 --> 00:00:36,132 Excuse me, sir. 12 00:00:36,289 --> 00:00:39,386 Why is Cobra attacking a tourist attraction with zero tactical value... 13 00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,844 ...and with all due respect to India, why are we defending it? 14 00:00:42,003 --> 00:00:44,886 Tight Ship, you can overhaul G.I. Joe when you're commander. 15 00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:46,969 Which will clearly happen any day now... 16 00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:48,889 ...as long as your **** stay on full display. 17 00:00:49,052 --> 00:00:51,104 Whoa, Buzzkill, language. 18 00:00:51,262 --> 00:00:53,980 You can't have ice cream. Put your brother on the phone. 19 00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:56,857 Three Kids, put down that phone. We're in a battle. 20 00:00:57,018 --> 00:00:59,866 Screw you, Flint. I'm in a battle called having three kids. 21 00:01:01,314 --> 00:01:03,319 We're a squad. You're making me look bad. 22 00:01:03,483 --> 00:01:06,448 Well, if you're so great, Wingman, show us how it's done. 23 00:01:06,611 --> 00:01:08,118 With pleasure. 24 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,542 We'll meet again, G.I. Joe. 25 00:01:17,705 --> 00:01:20,505 Good shooting, but it looks like Destro's getting away. 26 00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:22,055 Not necessarily, sir. 27 00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:23,384 Jeez! 28 00:01:24,879 --> 00:01:26,719 What? Oh, no. What are you doing? 29 00:01:26,881 --> 00:01:27,925 Are you crazy? 30 00:01:34,389 --> 00:01:37,070 Yo, Joe! 31 00:01:39,644 --> 00:01:41,032 What? 32 00:01:41,187 --> 00:01:43,239 What, we're... We're not saying it together? 33 00:01:46,109 --> 00:01:47,829 Yo, Joe! 34 00:02:14,888 --> 00:02:16,229 G.I. Joe is the code name... 35 00:02:16,389 --> 00:02:18,359 ...for America's daring, awesomely trained... 36 00:02:18,516 --> 00:02:19,727 ...awesome mission force. 37 00:02:19,893 --> 00:02:23,440 Its purpose: to fight Cobra, because they're terrorists. 38 00:02:23,605 --> 00:02:25,444 Look, I think I'm overexplaining it. 39 00:02:25,607 --> 00:02:28,454 The bad guys are snakes, and the good guys are Army people. 40 00:02:46,795 --> 00:02:49,298 Wingman, Three Kids, Buzzkill, Tight Ship... 41 00:02:49,464 --> 00:02:51,136 ...you stand accused of violence... 42 00:02:51,299 --> 00:02:53,636 ...suggestive language, and mature situations... 43 00:02:53,802 --> 00:02:56,482 ...unbecoming of G.I. Joe. What say you? 44 00:02:56,638 --> 00:02:58,441 I understand this is the first time... 45 00:02:58,598 --> 00:03:01,102 ...a G.I. Joe has killed anyone in recorded history. 46 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:02,821 - However... - However, be truthful. 47 00:03:02,977 --> 00:03:04,484 This is a disorganized militia. 48 00:03:04,646 --> 00:03:05,773 What's anyone's rank? 49 00:03:05,939 --> 00:03:08,240 We're dressed like serial killers and strippers. 50 00:03:08,399 --> 00:03:09,443 I have three kids. 51 00:03:09,609 --> 00:03:11,163 You guys are not helping. 52 00:03:11,319 --> 00:03:13,371 Duke, Flint, Scarlett... 53 00:03:13,571 --> 00:03:16,157 ...yes, it's true I killed Destro. 54 00:03:16,324 --> 00:03:17,665 I promise not to do it again. 55 00:03:17,826 --> 00:03:19,297 But is it really a crime? 56 00:03:19,452 --> 00:03:21,338 Is Cobra not a ruthless terrorist organisation... 57 00:03:21,496 --> 00:03:24,509 ...determined to rule the world? And if we never kill them... 58 00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:26,885 ...are we not basically on their side? 59 00:03:27,085 --> 00:03:29,339 And won't this war therefore last forever... 60 00:03:29,504 --> 00:03:31,260 ...unless we finish killing Cobra... 61 00:03:31,422 --> 00:03:33,143 or start killing ourselves? 62 00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,640 How long are we in here, Cold Shoulder? 63 00:03:37,804 --> 00:03:40,307 Cold Shoulder? What's with that guy? 64 00:03:40,473 --> 00:03:42,525 "Start killing Cobra or killing ourselves"? 65 00:03:42,684 --> 00:03:44,689 We were in the fourth down. It was a Hail Mary. 66 00:03:44,853 --> 00:03:47,321 This place is a graveyard for G.I. Joe rejects. 67 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:48,738 Look who's in here: 68 00:03:48,898 --> 00:03:50,619 Deep Dish, Shark Arms... 69 00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:52,412 ...Weird Head, Home Free... 70 00:03:52,569 --> 00:03:54,870 ...Place Holder, Sleep Apnea, and us! 71 00:03:55,029 --> 00:03:57,710 I have three kids. This is the worst day of my life. 72 00:03:57,866 --> 00:03:59,040 Is it life? 73 00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:02,331 My name is Fourth Wall. 74 00:04:02,495 --> 00:04:04,335 I believe what we perceive as life... 75 00:04:04,497 --> 00:04:07,712 ...is actually a syndicated children's cartoon. 76 00:04:07,876 --> 00:04:09,963 What? Shut up, Fourth Wall. 77 00:04:10,128 --> 00:04:12,548 If this were a cartoon, there'd be a word for "cartoon"... 78 00:04:12,714 --> 00:04:15,098 ...in our language, which there isn't. 79 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:18,728 There'd also be less movement, less detail, constant lip-sync mistakes. 80 00:04:18,887 --> 00:04:22,066 What if I told you there was more, a higher reality... 81 00:04:22,223 --> 00:04:24,904 ...with more than 65 colours, at least three dimensions? 82 00:04:25,059 --> 00:04:28,571 Then someone would have to lock you up with the crazy people. Oh, good. 83 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:32,076 I recently infiltrated a secret Cobra dig site... 84 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,740 ...code name: Greendale. 85 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:37,323 What did you say? 86 00:04:37,489 --> 00:04:40,122 Cobra has discovered an ancient buried structure... 87 00:04:40,283 --> 00:04:42,668 ...filled with strange things. Look. 88 00:04:42,827 --> 00:04:45,413 - Oh, yeah, look at that. - It's a child's toy. 89 00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,799 The toy was more real than this at Greendale. 90 00:04:49,209 --> 00:04:52,507 - What is that word? - Greendale? 91 00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:57,096 Greendale, Greendale, Greendale... 92 00:05:03,056 --> 00:05:04,977 Cobra's out to take over the world... 93 00:05:05,183 --> 00:05:06,440 ...but G.I. Joe is there. 94 00:05:06,601 --> 00:05:08,108 G.I. Joe must be destroyed. 95 00:05:08,269 --> 00:05:09,823 Cobra H.I.S.S. coming for attack! 96 00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:12,150 It's the new G.I. Joe Submachopter... 97 00:05:12,315 --> 00:05:13,442 ...piloted by Wingman. 98 00:05:13,608 --> 00:05:15,779 - Retreat! - Yo, Joe! 99 00:05:15,944 --> 00:05:17,367 We are in a toy commercial! 100 00:05:17,529 --> 00:05:19,783 I can't hear you when you're covered in rocks. 101 00:05:19,948 --> 00:05:21,750 It doesn't hurt because it isn't real. 102 00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:23,955 - Good job, Wingman. - Thank you, Duke. 103 00:05:24,118 --> 00:05:25,839 G.I. Joe is my entire life. 104 00:05:25,995 --> 00:05:27,798 - Yo, Joe! - Yo, Joe! 105 00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:30,210 All other figures and vehicles sold separately. 106 00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:33,758 - Wingman, what happened? - I don't know. 107 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,135 He has a connection to the non-cartoon reality. When I mentioned Greenda... 108 00:05:37,298 --> 00:05:38,805 Shut up. Stop saying that word. 109 00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:40,473 You're some kind of demon man. 110 00:05:40,635 --> 00:05:42,723 And your outfit is three layers of racist. 111 00:05:42,887 --> 00:05:45,735 He's having an attack. Jeff, can you hear us? It's Annie. 112 00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:46,982 What did you call me? 113 00:05:47,142 --> 00:05:48,233 Know where you are? 114 00:05:48,393 --> 00:05:49,781 Be quiet. Leave me alone. 115 00:05:49,936 --> 00:05:52,190 I don't belong here. I belong in G.I. Joe. 116 00:05:52,355 --> 00:05:55,321 And don't touch me. Who wears a saw on their arm? 117 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:01,371 DAYS SINCE LAST CASUALTY: 118 00:06:01,531 --> 00:06:03,370 The first time I met Destro... 119 00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:07,674 ...he asked me if he should have his entire head coated in chrome. 120 00:06:07,829 --> 00:06:09,549 I said, "No. How would you do that?" 121 00:06:10,248 --> 00:06:12,585 How would that even work? 122 00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,590 Look, I'm not good at eulogies... 123 00:06:14,752 --> 00:06:16,639 ...because I've never had to give one. 124 00:06:16,796 --> 00:06:20,178 All I want to know is, how did G.I. Joe do this? 125 00:06:20,341 --> 00:06:24,138 We've been shooting at each other and missing for 20 years. All of a sudden... 126 00:06:24,304 --> 00:06:26,190 Unbelievable. What? 127 00:06:26,347 --> 00:06:29,527 Cobra commander, it's vice Cobra assistant commander. 128 00:06:29,684 --> 00:06:32,532 Got a very interesting energy surge at the Greendale site. 129 00:06:32,687 --> 00:06:35,368 Oh, okay. That's super fascinating. 130 00:06:35,523 --> 00:06:37,326 Destro's dead! 131 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:40,497 Oh, my gosh, Destro? Were you guys close? 132 00:06:40,653 --> 00:06:41,745 Were we close? Yes! 133 00:06:41,905 --> 00:06:43,162 What kind of a question...? 134 00:06:43,323 --> 00:06:46,170 Okay, fine. I loved him! 135 00:06:46,326 --> 00:06:47,998 Is that what you want to hear? 136 00:06:48,161 --> 00:06:49,335 Called it. 137 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,880 And we are going to find out how this happened... 138 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:56,880 ...and G.I. Joe is going to pay-bra! 139 00:06:57,045 --> 00:06:58,433 I riffed that. 140 00:06:58,588 --> 00:06:59,845 No wrong answers. 141 00:07:00,006 --> 00:07:03,103 It's a condition that comes on when you get to a certain weight. 142 00:07:03,259 --> 00:07:06,557 - Oh, I see. - So is there a Mr. Tight Ship, or...? 143 00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:11,361 That's a code three. Cobra forces are infiltrating the base. 144 00:07:13,019 --> 00:07:14,573 Cobra! 145 00:07:14,729 --> 00:07:18,158 Avenge my totally platonic friend! 146 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:20,949 Great, we're stuck in here. 147 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:22,321 We don't have to be. 148 00:07:22,487 --> 00:07:24,741 For 15 years, I used my trademark tablespoon... 149 00:07:24,906 --> 00:07:26,662 ...to excavate a tunnel... 150 00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:29,755 ...swallowing handfuls of dirt and rock with my meals... 151 00:07:29,911 --> 00:07:32,876 ...and listening only to Smash Mouth to justify this poster. 152 00:07:33,039 --> 00:07:36,302 Now I am within inches of reaching the... 153 00:07:36,459 --> 00:07:38,132 Come on, if we help save the base... 154 00:07:38,294 --> 00:07:40,346 ...maybe they'll let us be G.I. Joes again. 155 00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:43,269 Battle stations! 156 00:07:43,925 --> 00:07:46,262 Snakes at 6 o'clock. 157 00:07:47,971 --> 00:07:50,272 Okay, now remember, don't kill anybody. 158 00:07:50,431 --> 00:07:52,982 Just lay down a suppressive fire, like this. 159 00:07:55,145 --> 00:07:56,437 Sorry. Sorry. 160 00:07:57,147 --> 00:07:58,737 Oh, God. 161 00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:00,612 Oh, man. Oh, darn it. 162 00:08:00,775 --> 00:08:02,163 I'd say they're suppressed. 163 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,658 Jeez. Was that Lifeline? Sorry! 164 00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:07,116 Someone's killing people. 165 00:08:07,282 --> 00:08:08,788 It's Wingman! He's escaped! 166 00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:10,872 Lay down a suppressive fire! 167 00:08:11,744 --> 00:08:13,298 They're suppressive-firing at us! 168 00:08:13,454 --> 00:08:15,709 I think we'll be okay. This is all a cartoon... 169 00:08:15,874 --> 00:08:18,092 - ...about action figures for kids. - Shut up, Fourth Wall. 170 00:08:18,251 --> 00:08:20,090 Get into the G.I. Joe Submachopter... 171 00:08:20,253 --> 00:08:22,887 ...with twin rocket launchers and rotating attack jets. 172 00:08:27,427 --> 00:08:29,479 All I wanna do is be a good G.I. Joe. 173 00:08:29,637 --> 00:08:30,729 What's wrong with me? 174 00:08:30,889 --> 00:08:33,522 Not sure, but I think our answers will be at Greendale. 175 00:08:35,935 --> 00:08:37,489 Shouldn't somebody fly the plane? 176 00:08:37,645 --> 00:08:39,069 - It's Submachopter. - Whatever. 177 00:08:39,230 --> 00:08:42,576 Will somebody grab the stick? I don't wanna die up here! Oh, Lord! 178 00:08:45,653 --> 00:08:48,204 The G.I. Joe mutineers are even worse than Cobra... 179 00:08:48,364 --> 00:08:50,286 ...because they're traitors. Buzzkill. 180 00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,502 - All government is a lie. - Tight Ship. 181 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:54,167 I control everything, or else! 182 00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:56,334 - Three Kids. - My family comes first. 183 00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:57,541 Fourth Wall. 184 00:08:57,707 --> 00:08:59,463 Doesn't this guy also do the voice for He-Man commercials? 185 00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,678 Their nefarious, ruthless leader, Wingman. 186 00:09:01,836 --> 00:09:03,722 Hey, that's not true! I love G.I. Joe! 187 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,636 I don't know. Seems like you hate it. 188 00:09:05,799 --> 00:09:07,471 This is all a misunderstanding. 189 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,891 Tell it to the judge. 190 00:09:09,052 --> 00:09:11,223 Everything sold separately. Assembly required. 191 00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:12,431 Nothing is happening. 192 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,357 Cartoon coffee? Tight Ship is piloting the Submachopter. 193 00:09:16,518 --> 00:09:19,365 At first it was Buzzkill, but she almost crashed. When we pointed it out... 194 00:09:19,521 --> 00:09:20,695 ...she called us sexist and went to the bathroom. 195 00:09:20,855 --> 00:09:22,243 She's smoking in there. 196 00:09:22,398 --> 00:09:24,450 Broke the detector. That's a federal crime. 197 00:09:24,609 --> 00:09:26,696 I keep having these visions. 198 00:09:26,861 --> 00:09:28,582 Kids, little boys... 199 00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:31,497 Are these visions we should share with the authorities? 200 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,461 I want to go to this Greendale place. 201 00:09:33,618 --> 00:09:35,670 - We're on our way. - You remember Greendale? 202 00:09:35,829 --> 00:09:37,715 Why did you call me that? What's with you people? 203 00:09:37,872 --> 00:09:38,916 What do you mean, "you people"? 204 00:09:39,082 --> 00:09:40,375 Nice. 205 00:09:43,628 --> 00:09:44,672 All clear. 206 00:09:44,838 --> 00:09:46,593 That's the excavation site entrance. 207 00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:48,595 How do we get past those guards? 208 00:09:48,758 --> 00:09:50,680 I think I got an idea. 209 00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:56,644 Your idea was doing what we did to those guards at headquarters? 210 00:09:56,808 --> 00:09:59,276 - It was proven effective. - Don't know, seems cheap. 211 00:09:59,435 --> 00:10:02,568 From an animated perspective, very cheap. Help me club this hatch open. 212 00:10:07,527 --> 00:10:09,164 I know this place. 213 00:10:10,530 --> 00:10:12,416 It's filling me with a sense of endless hours... 214 00:10:12,574 --> 00:10:16,037 ...for unfair wages and printers that never have toner. 215 00:10:16,202 --> 00:10:17,923 What is this, Major Dick? 216 00:10:18,079 --> 00:10:20,215 That is a request for hazard pay. 217 00:10:20,373 --> 00:10:23,588 Maybe you haven't heard, but we can actually die now. 218 00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:24,962 We can't afford this. 219 00:10:25,128 --> 00:10:26,551 So we can afford to create... 220 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,718 ...a new weaponised vehicle once a week... 221 00:10:28,882 --> 00:10:31,385 ...but we get minimum wage to risk our lives. 222 00:10:31,551 --> 00:10:33,521 Well, welcome to Cobra, XimXam. 223 00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:35,730 Maybe you noticed our logo was a snake? 224 00:10:35,889 --> 00:10:36,932 Suck it up, guys! 225 00:10:37,098 --> 00:10:39,862 - While I have your attention, here. - What is this? 226 00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:42,521 We have to lower salaries. Our insurance is going up. 227 00:10:42,687 --> 00:10:43,731 - No way. - What? 228 00:10:43,897 --> 00:10:45,403 You people can actually die now. 229 00:10:45,565 --> 00:10:46,953 It affects the health plan. 230 00:10:47,108 --> 00:10:50,572 Vice Cobra assistant commander, we've been infiltrated by Joes! 231 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,702 Well? Protect me! 232 00:10:53,907 --> 00:10:55,330 Hello, Greendale. 233 00:10:55,492 --> 00:10:58,955 I understand G.I. Joe has breached the perimeter. Please eliminate them. 234 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,754 Please don't forget this Saturday is the Cobra fun run. 235 00:11:01,915 --> 00:11:04,418 If you miss it, you're letting antiterrorists win. 236 00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:06,921 Overkill. 237 00:11:07,086 --> 00:11:09,970 Yes, it's me. But which me... 238 00:11:10,131 --> 00:11:12,219 ...is the real me? 239 00:11:15,887 --> 00:11:17,809 - Probably the one in the middle. - The middle, right? 240 00:11:19,224 --> 00:11:20,481 My leg! 241 00:11:20,642 --> 00:11:23,607 Now, before you fight me, G.I. Joe, you should be warned. 242 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,273 I, XimXam, have a twin brother named MixMax... 243 00:11:26,439 --> 00:11:28,195 ...that feels all my pain. 244 00:11:28,358 --> 00:11:30,944 And how is that supposed to affect us? 245 00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:33,495 Psychologically? 246 00:11:34,405 --> 00:11:36,624 Today's soup is a carrot puree with a... 247 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,539 Damn it! 248 00:11:38,701 --> 00:11:40,956 Sorry. My twin brother is a... 249 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,375 It's pointless to explain. 250 00:11:43,581 --> 00:11:44,673 - Hurts so much! - Right? 251 00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:47,466 It shredded my meniscus! 252 00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:54,054 Shouldn't have done that. Nope. Don't like that sound. 253 00:11:54,217 --> 00:11:56,637 Incredible. It's as if there's something about this place... 254 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,353 ...that feeds on ambition. 255 00:12:05,854 --> 00:12:09,650 I came from here. I work here. 256 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:12,450 My name is Jeff Winger. And you're Annie. 257 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:14,200 And Shirley. 258 00:12:14,362 --> 00:12:15,703 And Abed and Britta. 259 00:12:15,864 --> 00:12:17,501 Britta? What kind of lame name is that? 260 00:12:17,657 --> 00:12:21,335 I wanna be Buzzkill because of my awesome saw: 261 00:12:22,203 --> 00:12:24,458 You guys are my friends in real life. 262 00:12:24,622 --> 00:12:27,126 This is my imagination or something. 263 00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:29,297 Freeze, everybody! Don't make me zap you! 264 00:12:29,461 --> 00:12:30,504 Craig, it's me, Jeff. 265 00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:32,556 Oh, Jeffrey! Are you okay? 266 00:12:32,714 --> 00:12:34,719 No. Take it from an expert in delusion. 267 00:12:34,883 --> 00:12:37,600 If Jeff's hallucinating something cool, something's wrong, he has to get back. 268 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,600 Have your wingpack, or is it sold separately? 269 00:12:39,762 --> 00:12:40,890 - Here it is. - Good. 270 00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:42,396 My fourth wall penetrating powers... 271 00:12:42,557 --> 00:12:44,644 ...combined with this medium's lack of internal logic... 272 00:12:44,809 --> 00:12:46,649 ...should allow me an oversimplified solution. 273 00:12:46,811 --> 00:12:49,362 I'll be right back. I have to get something. 274 00:12:49,522 --> 00:12:51,693 - What? - The truth. 275 00:13:03,411 --> 00:13:05,582 Oh, crap. 276 00:13:07,123 --> 00:13:10,255 Jeff, while you were gone, I figured everything out. 277 00:13:10,418 --> 00:13:12,886 May be your delusion, but I'm the one on the ball. 278 00:13:13,046 --> 00:13:15,133 I know why I'm here. I'm unconscious. 279 00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:17,552 Jeff Winger's unconscious, because he... 280 00:13:17,717 --> 00:13:20,102 I drank a fifth of Scotch. 281 00:13:20,261 --> 00:13:22,681 And I took some pills. 282 00:13:22,847 --> 00:13:25,611 Jeffrey, shame on you. I have three kids. 283 00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:26,941 You saying you tried...? 284 00:13:27,101 --> 00:13:30,613 No, they were these stupid youth pills that I bought in Koreatown. 285 00:13:30,772 --> 00:13:33,785 I took them because it's my birthday and... 286 00:13:33,942 --> 00:13:36,445 ...I've been lying about my age. 287 00:13:36,611 --> 00:13:38,450 It's not something I'm ready to deal with. 288 00:13:38,613 --> 00:13:41,199 You found a way to deal with it through a psychotic break. 289 00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:43,952 Happens to the best of us. These are the three layers of reality. 290 00:13:44,118 --> 00:13:46,966 We're in the cartoon layer. It's separated from the live-action layer... 291 00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:49,542 ...by a dangerous mid-layer called children's toy commercials... 292 00:13:49,707 --> 00:13:51,048 ...which you're seeing in your visions. 293 00:13:51,209 --> 00:13:53,296 I've modified your wingpack to break this barrier... 294 00:13:53,461 --> 00:13:56,225 - I'm not going back. - Jeff, you have to go back. 295 00:13:56,381 --> 00:13:59,180 I don't wanna be a middle-aged community college teacher. 296 00:13:59,342 --> 00:14:02,142 I wanna be in G.I. Joe. I wanna fight for freedom... 297 00:14:02,303 --> 00:14:04,225 ...wherever there's trouble, forever. 298 00:14:04,389 --> 00:14:06,441 Jeff, that's your 10-year-old self talking. 299 00:14:06,599 --> 00:14:09,103 You've receded into some infantile part of your mind. 300 00:14:09,269 --> 00:14:11,819 Imaginary Britta is right. And only Imaginary Britta. 301 00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:15,326 In these visions, a giant child is controlling you. Get away from him. 302 00:14:15,483 --> 00:14:16,824 I am him! That's the point. 303 00:14:16,985 --> 00:14:19,619 I created this. I chose this. 304 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,916 Do you understand the real Jeff Winger... 305 00:14:22,073 --> 00:14:25,502 ...is in actual medical jeopardy? Like the kind in a one-hour drama? 306 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:27,961 Jeff, please. I don't want you to die. 307 00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:29,331 Can you hear me? 308 00:14:29,497 --> 00:14:31,502 I'm only dying out there, Annie. 309 00:14:31,666 --> 00:14:34,170 In here we're immortal. Look at the rack I gave you. 310 00:14:34,335 --> 00:14:36,803 Those will stay where they are for an eternity. 311 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,007 You're welcome. 312 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:42,303 Yo, Jobra! 313 00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:45,149 - "Yo, Jobra"? - We talked it over and realised... 314 00:14:45,305 --> 00:14:48,188 ...since we can't kill each other, we might as well team up. 315 00:14:48,349 --> 00:14:50,817 Seeing as we've got a common enemy. 316 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,148 - Seize them! - You can't seize me. 317 00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:55,199 I am the creator of your reality. 318 00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:57,824 I am Neo in the third act of The Matrix. 319 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,748 I'm also Neo in the first act of the second Matrix. 320 00:15:00,904 --> 00:15:02,706 I didn't see the third one... 321 00:15:02,864 --> 00:15:04,620 ...but my guess is... 322 00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:08,704 Cobra and G.I. Joe have finally united. 323 00:15:08,870 --> 00:15:11,207 - You guys need anything? - We could use some milk. 324 00:15:11,372 --> 00:15:13,259 Let's go get some milk for G.I. Joe. 325 00:15:13,416 --> 00:15:16,595 I'll wait it out in this cell until you guys can reeducate me. 326 00:15:16,795 --> 00:15:18,800 - Yo, Jobra! - Yo, Jobra. 327 00:15:18,963 --> 00:15:20,885 All figures come with their own accessories. 328 00:15:21,049 --> 00:15:22,805 Wingman sold separately or something. 329 00:15:25,887 --> 00:15:29,683 Look who's conscious again. 330 00:15:29,849 --> 00:15:31,771 You're selective with those snake S's. 331 00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:33,406 What are you, my life coach? 332 00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:35,981 I'd make fun of some physical detail about you... 333 00:15:36,147 --> 00:15:39,362 ...but there aren't any. You look like some Aryan foosball figure. 334 00:15:39,526 --> 00:15:41,246 You don't have to keep me prisoner. 335 00:15:41,402 --> 00:15:42,874 I want what you want. 336 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:45,995 We can't just have you running around. You're too powerful. 337 00:15:46,157 --> 00:15:47,580 So let's share the power. 338 00:15:47,742 --> 00:15:49,545 We can be gods here forever. 339 00:15:49,702 --> 00:15:52,039 For realsies? 340 00:15:52,205 --> 00:15:54,091 Absolutely. I don't wanna leave here. 341 00:15:54,249 --> 00:15:57,013 I wanna hang out with you guys and blow stuff up. 342 00:15:58,169 --> 00:15:59,213 All right. 343 00:15:59,838 --> 00:16:02,423 - Yo, Jobra. - Yo, Jobra. 344 00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:03,717 Yo, Jobra. 345 00:16:03,883 --> 00:16:08,106 Say, do you mind if we ask you a few questions about real life? 346 00:16:08,263 --> 00:16:09,556 No problem. 347 00:16:09,722 --> 00:16:11,977 - Ask. - So... 348 00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,562 ...what do boobies look like? 349 00:16:14,727 --> 00:16:16,448 Wait. You don't know? 350 00:16:18,273 --> 00:16:20,527 You guys have never seen a naked woman? 351 00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:22,578 You don't have to make us feel bad. 352 00:16:22,735 --> 00:16:25,321 Have you guys ever tasted Scotch? 353 00:16:25,488 --> 00:16:27,576 Does Scotch liquor exist here? 354 00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:30,625 You know what? 355 00:16:30,785 --> 00:16:33,917 Can I just go to the bathroom real quick? 356 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,168 Sure. Second door over there on the right. 357 00:16:36,332 --> 00:16:37,969 Hey! We can't go to the bathroom! 358 00:16:38,293 --> 00:16:40,512 Fool! He's getting away! 359 00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:54,477 This had better work. 360 00:16:54,642 --> 00:16:56,979 No, no, no, wait! 361 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,615 Get off me! I wanna go home! 362 00:17:00,773 --> 00:17:03,110 Take me with you! I want to see women's boobs! 363 00:17:03,276 --> 00:17:04,830 We can't both go! 364 00:17:04,986 --> 00:17:06,956 You're slowing me down! Let go! 365 00:17:10,825 --> 00:17:14,622 I can feel it! Yes! I can feel reality! 366 00:17:14,787 --> 00:17:17,468 I've never felt so alive! 367 00:17:17,624 --> 00:17:20,471 Because you're fictional! You can't survive this! 368 00:17:20,627 --> 00:17:22,632 Wait, why does my back hurt? 369 00:17:22,796 --> 00:17:25,216 Why do I just have random pains in my body? 370 00:17:25,423 --> 00:17:28,638 Why is my ability to appreciate new music diminishing? 371 00:17:31,471 --> 00:17:35,611 Need to gain speed before... 372 00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:37,606 Wingman is trying to escape G.I. Joe. 373 00:17:37,769 --> 00:17:40,533 It's up to you to hold him back with your inner child's hand. 374 00:17:40,688 --> 00:17:42,195 Damn it, I didn't make it. 375 00:17:42,357 --> 00:17:44,741 I'm not controlling him! He's doing this himself! 376 00:17:44,901 --> 00:17:46,289 Screw you, kid! 377 00:17:46,444 --> 00:17:48,034 He burnt my hand. 378 00:17:48,196 --> 00:17:50,497 The Wingman wingpack is not available in stores. 379 00:17:50,657 --> 00:17:53,706 - You control the toy. - You control it, my ass. 380 00:17:53,868 --> 00:17:56,004 - What is it doing? - Making a man of you. 381 00:17:58,414 --> 00:18:01,048 Everything sold separately. Everyone dies eventually. 382 00:18:01,209 --> 00:18:03,179 Nobody gets out alive. 383 00:18:04,671 --> 00:18:06,224 His eyes are opening. 384 00:18:06,381 --> 00:18:08,053 That happens when people die too. 385 00:18:08,216 --> 00:18:10,268 - Jeff! Jeffrey! - Wait, don't slap him! 386 00:18:10,468 --> 00:18:12,022 It's me, the dean. I'm here. 387 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,602 Wait, no, I think you have... 388 00:18:13,763 --> 00:18:14,807 Stop it, I'm awake. 389 00:18:17,016 --> 00:18:19,650 Jeff, you've been keeping your birthday a secret? 390 00:18:19,811 --> 00:18:21,567 Yeah. Most people have cake. 391 00:18:21,729 --> 00:18:24,150 Not a fifth of Scotch and what the hell else. 392 00:18:24,315 --> 00:18:27,080 "Age reverse, life extend power"? 393 00:18:31,614 --> 00:18:32,955 This is Korean. 394 00:18:33,116 --> 00:18:35,086 - Okay, what am I? - Chinese! 395 00:18:35,243 --> 00:18:36,666 I swear to God I feel Korean. 396 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,543 Guys... 397 00:18:38,705 --> 00:18:39,748 ...I'm 40. 398 00:18:41,124 --> 00:18:42,168 I'm so sorry. 399 00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:45,845 - Yeah, we knew that. - You know, I guess we knew... 400 00:18:46,004 --> 00:18:48,091 ...that you had to be around 30 when we met. 401 00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,095 And it has been five years. 402 00:18:50,258 --> 00:18:53,022 Even if he had been 32, we'd have to know he would be... 403 00:18:53,178 --> 00:18:55,562 - This isn't helping. - You guys know I'm 38, right? 404 00:18:57,849 --> 00:19:00,613 I'm kidding. But you shouldn't almost die over a number. 405 00:19:00,768 --> 00:19:02,608 What's important are ranges of numbers. 406 00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:05,903 Still 18 to 49 for almost a decade. That's valuable to society. 407 00:19:06,065 --> 00:19:07,786 Have any more of these pills left? 408 00:19:07,942 --> 00:19:10,956 I had the craziest dream. It was all animated... 409 00:19:11,112 --> 00:19:14,291 ...and a G.I. Joe cartoon, and you were all in it. 410 00:19:14,449 --> 00:19:17,130 - In it? How much? - What clothes did you draw me in? 411 00:19:17,285 --> 00:19:18,542 Fully animated? 412 00:19:18,703 --> 00:19:21,835 It was a dream. You were unconscious. Remember that Christmas I... 413 00:19:21,998 --> 00:19:23,505 Yes! 414 00:19:23,666 --> 00:19:26,300 Jeff, here's your present. 415 00:19:26,461 --> 00:19:28,762 Slim pickings at the hospital gift shop... 416 00:19:28,922 --> 00:19:31,390 ...but we made do. 417 00:19:33,134 --> 00:19:35,471 "It's a old boy." 418 00:19:35,637 --> 00:19:37,190 Yes. He is a old boy. 419 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,103 He's a old boy. 420 00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:40,902 Bring it in, guys. 421 00:19:41,059 --> 00:19:42,103 Jeff! 422 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,320 Hey, listen, I got a former partner... 423 00:19:44,479 --> 00:19:47,492 ...that's been here since '89 in a coma, so... 424 00:19:47,816 --> 00:19:49,903 1889? 425 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:51,989 Winger, you're funny. 426 00:19:52,195 --> 00:19:54,330 You piece of... 427 00:20:00,829 --> 00:20:02,668 - This is cool! - Make my name too. 428 00:20:02,831 --> 00:20:05,132 - What are you guys, cavemen? - Buzzkill! 429 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:08,091 That's a waste of spray paint. We live in a fascist police state... 430 00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:11,017 ...disguised as democracy. Think you'll shatter that illusion... 431 00:20:11,172 --> 00:20:13,094 ...by celebrating your own meaningless identities? 432 00:20:13,258 --> 00:20:15,345 - Is church over yet? - Fourth Wall! 433 00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:18,856 A good cartoon has a lesson at the end. Getting heavy-handed or preachy... 434 00:20:19,013 --> 00:20:21,647 ...could turn an entire generation into jaded, sarcastic babies. 435 00:20:21,808 --> 00:20:24,311 - Be friendly and direct. - Keep the message simple. 436 00:20:24,477 --> 00:20:26,114 Graffiti is bad. Go play sports. 437 00:20:26,271 --> 00:20:27,314 - Cool! - I get it! 438 00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:29,569 I was trying to hold them to a higher standard. 439 00:20:29,732 --> 00:20:32,201 If the media tells kids what to think, all they'll know is... 440 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,199 - And knowing is half the battle. - What?