1
00:00:01,038 --> 00:00:03,505
And then in the season finale,
2
00:00:03,726 --> 00:00:05,613
they reveal the whole thing
was a dream,
3
00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,086
when the Inspector wakes up
4
00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:11,429
next to a very young
and very topless Cheryl Tiegs.
5
00:00:12,449 --> 00:00:14,102
Even Pierce loves
this show now?
6
00:00:14,103 --> 00:00:15,303
It's not Inspector Spacetime.
7
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:17,372
It's the American version,
and it's a travesty.
8
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:19,037
It's broad, obvious, sexist,
and the timing is...
9
00:00:19,056 --> 00:00:21,162
Honey, I'm dean!
10
00:00:21,206 --> 00:00:22,663
What the hell
is wrong with you?
11
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,688
Oh, Jeffrey, you are too much.
12
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:27,963
Why, I was doing some
house cleaning the other day...
13
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:31,012
"Deana Reed" style...
When I realized, "gosh, golly,
14
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,612
it's been ages since we had
a dance."
15
00:00:33,649 --> 00:00:37,521
So, this Friday we are going
back to Greendale's golden age
16
00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:39,783
with an old-fashioned sock hop!
17
00:00:41,114 --> 00:00:42,752
The health department requires
you wear shoes.
18
00:00:43,055 --> 00:00:44,661
What a "coincidean."
19
00:00:44,755 --> 00:00:47,096
You're throwing a dance the
same day the CDC is confiscating
20
00:00:47,108 --> 00:00:48,765
our drinking fountains.
- Well...
21
00:00:48,838 --> 00:00:50,510
Placating students
with a fun event.
22
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,829
Classic bread and circuses.
23
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:53,721
In Ancient Rome, the emperor
would distract the populace
24
00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:56,562
from their problems by allocating
money for free bread and circuses.
25
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,465
I've been making a conscious effort to get
away from filtering everything through TV.
26
00:00:59,483 --> 00:01:01,982
I figured it's time I showed some growth.
It's been three and a half seasons...
27
00:01:02,014 --> 00:01:03,123
Is what the old me
would have said.
28
00:01:03,148 --> 00:01:03,948
- Oh.
- Aww.
29
00:01:03,965 --> 00:01:06,797
Anyhoo, it is
a Sadie Hawkins dance,
30
00:01:06,828 --> 00:01:10,041
which means girls ask the boys.
- Oh, I love those!
31
00:01:10,072 --> 00:01:13,327
So, ladies, get out there
and make yourselves useful.
32
00:01:13,351 --> 00:01:15,332
So you're saying
there's one day a year
33
00:01:15,345 --> 00:01:17,138
when women are free
to choose their own mates.
34
00:01:17,157 --> 00:01:19,260
What is this,
cave-person times?
35
00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:22,084
Well, I have already started
on a Sadie Hawkins banner,
36
00:01:22,097 --> 00:01:23,928
so this thing is
pretty much set in stone.
37
00:01:23,947 --> 00:01:25,639
Well, then maybe I'll throw
my own dance,
38
00:01:25,658 --> 00:01:28,696
one that doesn't conform
to your oppressive gender norms.
39
00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:30,022
Give me a break.
40
00:01:30,053 --> 00:01:34,077
You think a dance can just
be thrown together Willy-nilly?
41
00:01:34,101 --> 00:01:36,021
You think I decide to just do
42
00:01:36,027 --> 00:01:38,492
a rain forest theme
and buy palm fronds
43
00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:39,686
and rig the sprinkler system
to...
44
00:01:39,697 --> 00:01:41,091
Hold on,
I gotta write this down.
45
00:01:41,907 --> 00:01:43,608
♪ Give me some rope
46
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,182
♪ tie me to dream
47
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,662
♪ give me the hope
48
00:01:46,703 --> 00:01:48,348
♪ to run out of steam
49
00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:51,686
♪ somebody said
it can be here ♪
50
00:01:51,719 --> 00:01:53,453
♪ We could be roped up
51
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:55,824
♪ tied up, dead in a year ♪
52
00:01:55,858 --> 00:02:00,585
♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
53
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:04,445
♪ One by one,
they all just fade away ♪
54
00:02:04,482 --> 00:02:07,788
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com
55
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,915
So, Britta, you're gonna
throw a protest dance?
56
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:12,309
Is that a thing?
57
00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:13,491
It is now.
58
00:02:13,504 --> 00:02:15,671
And instead of Sadie Hawkins,
59
00:02:15,739 --> 00:02:18,475
my dance will honor
a real feminist icon,
60
00:02:18,507 --> 00:02:20,225
someone who worked
for women's rights
61
00:02:20,237 --> 00:02:24,412
every day of the year...
Sophie B. Hawkins.
62
00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:26,771
- Oh...
- It wasn't really...
63
00:02:26,967 --> 00:02:29,349
You know what, Britta,
you're right.
64
00:02:29,593 --> 00:02:31,312
A Sophie B. Hawkins dance
65
00:02:31,335 --> 00:02:32,932
is just what
this school needs...
66
00:02:33,057 --> 00:02:34,199
Thanks, Jeff.
67
00:02:34,244 --> 00:02:38,333
To celebrate Sophie B. Hawkins
and all her accomplishments.
68
00:02:38,364 --> 00:02:40,708
Jeez, Winger, who's throwing
this dance, me or you?
69
00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:44,241
Um, Britta, I think you meant
to say Susan B. Anthony,
70
00:02:44,269 --> 00:02:45,863
not Sophie B. Hawkins.
71
00:02:45,909 --> 00:02:47,660
Britta for the whoops!
72
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:49,661
Didn't you have a cat named
Susan B. Anthony?
73
00:02:49,679 --> 00:02:50,899
How did you manage
to "Britta" that?
74
00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:53,846
I didn't "Britta" anything.
I meant Sophie B. Hawkins.
75
00:02:53,877 --> 00:02:56,720
Really?
Your plan was to throw a dance
76
00:02:56,751 --> 00:02:59,759
honoring the singer of
Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover?
77
00:02:59,784 --> 00:03:00,732
And As I Lay Me Down,
78
00:03:00,757 --> 00:03:02,869
which in my opinion
is the far superior song.
79
00:03:02,894 --> 00:03:04,169
- Ooh, that is a good song.
- Yeah.
80
00:03:04,229 --> 00:03:05,633
Yes.
81
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,059
I am throwing
a Sophie B. Hawkins dance.
82
00:03:09,733 --> 00:03:12,169
And it is gonna be amazing,
83
00:03:12,194 --> 00:03:14,792
and when people come
they're gonna be like,
84
00:03:14,817 --> 00:03:17,826
"damn! She straight
'Britta'd' this!"
85
00:03:17,838 --> 00:03:21,152
Because, that's right,
I'm taking it back!
86
00:03:25,862 --> 00:03:27,550
You're really doing this?
87
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,795
Look, as someone who faked being
a lawyer for seven years
88
00:03:29,819 --> 00:03:31,586
I appreciate your commitment
to the bit,
89
00:03:31,604 --> 00:03:33,367
but just admit you were wrong.
90
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,548
So you can say I "Britta'd" it?
91
00:03:34,577 --> 00:03:36,575
Yes, of course.
That goes without saying.
92
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,858
But come on,
it was a small mistake.
93
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:42,126
Call this off before it becomes
a full-scale "Brit-astrophe."
94
00:03:42,169 --> 00:03:43,547
- I coined that.
- Jeff,
95
00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:44,952
if you don't want
to come to my dance
96
00:03:44,964 --> 00:03:47,037
you are free to go
to the Sadie Hawkins dance,
97
00:03:47,051 --> 00:03:50,736
which will be happening at the
same time across the cafeteria.
98
00:03:51,069 --> 00:03:54,433
- Our school has limited venue options.
- Oh, I wouldn't miss it.
99
00:03:54,837 --> 00:03:57,393
Oh, and one last thing...
You do realize
100
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,765
that if you call it
a Sophie B. Hawkins dance
101
00:03:59,784 --> 00:04:03,615
people will expect Sophie B. Hawkins
to actually be there, right?
102
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,064
Yes.
103
00:04:07,312 --> 00:04:10,006
And when she comes
I'm gonna be like,
104
00:04:10,025 --> 00:04:13,173
"I will remember you
doubting me."
105
00:04:13,284 --> 00:04:15,519
That's a Sarah Mclachlan song.
106
00:04:17,416 --> 00:04:20,635
So, Abed, I was thinking
about what you said,
107
00:04:20,664 --> 00:04:22,824
about showing growth,
and I was thinking
108
00:04:22,843 --> 00:04:25,807
maybe one way to do that is
to meet new people and...
109
00:04:25,812 --> 00:04:27,470
- Where's this going?
- Can I set you up with a date
110
00:04:27,498 --> 00:04:29,526
for the Sadie Hawkins day dance?
- A blind date.
111
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,844
I've always thought of myself
as more of an acquired taste... but...
112
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:32,827
Okay.
113
00:04:32,845 --> 00:04:34,288
Ooh, if you're open to meeting
114
00:04:34,306 --> 00:04:36,106
someone, there's a number
of eligible young ladies
115
00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:37,581
in my church.
- Shirley!
116
00:04:37,598 --> 00:04:39,555
I'm already finding
a date for Abed.
117
00:04:39,604 --> 00:04:41,108
- I asked first.
- There's no reason we can't
118
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,554
both help Abed find someone.
Why don't we each pick a girl
119
00:04:43,573 --> 00:04:46,269
and then let Abed decide,
instead of making it a competition.
120
00:04:46,348 --> 00:04:47,347
That's exactly a competition.
121
00:04:47,365 --> 00:04:49,273
- So it is.
- Only for the loser.
122
00:04:51,736 --> 00:04:52,749
I need the computer.
123
00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:54,767
Pierce, there are, like,
dozens of computers.
124
00:04:54,786 --> 00:04:56,205
Yeah, but my email is
on this one.
125
00:04:56,274 --> 00:04:58,825
- Pierce!
- Jeez, what's up your butt?
126
00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:01,453
I may have lied this morning
about meeting Sophie B. Hawkins
127
00:05:01,478 --> 00:05:03,373
because I didn't want Jeff
to make fun of me,
128
00:05:03,392 --> 00:05:05,189
and then I may have lied
to cover that lie,
129
00:05:05,207 --> 00:05:06,669
and now I'm in deep...
130
00:05:07,152 --> 00:05:08,152
lies.
131
00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:11,051
So what?
So you told a lie, big deal.
132
00:05:11,089 --> 00:05:13,846
The important thing
is never to admit it.
133
00:05:13,871 --> 00:05:15,702
Actually, I was thinking
about coming clean.
134
00:05:15,757 --> 00:05:17,568
And give Winger
the satisfaction?
135
00:05:17,606 --> 00:05:19,051
Hell, no.
136
00:05:19,075 --> 00:05:21,700
Besides, anything could happen
between now and that dance.
137
00:05:21,718 --> 00:05:23,194
An asteroid could hit.
138
00:05:23,227 --> 00:05:26,765
Do you want to be the schmuck who
apologizes just before the world ends?
139
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,019
That kind of makes sense.
Thank you.
140
00:05:30,093 --> 00:05:31,169
Damn right it makes sense.
141
00:05:31,187 --> 00:05:33,598
You're talking
to the wisest man on campus.
142
00:05:33,874 --> 00:05:35,747
Now seriously,
I need to get to my email.
143
00:05:35,765 --> 00:05:37,498
The post office
is about to close.
144
00:05:37,823 --> 00:05:38,748
Pierce!
145
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,587
Guys, check out my friend Britta's
Sophie B. Hawkins dance.
146
00:05:41,615 --> 00:05:43,484
I'll be spinning the hits
from yesterday and today,
147
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,998
which are basically the same
to me since I have Changnesia.
148
00:05:46,149 --> 00:05:47,100
That guy's like teflon.
149
00:05:47,118 --> 00:05:49,322
No matter how much awful stuff he does,
he keeps getting another chance.
150
00:05:49,347 --> 00:05:51,897
Yeah, he's like
the Colin Farrell of people.
151
00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:53,893
You want to help me
with Britta's dance?
152
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,031
Could be a chance for classic
Troy and Abed hijinks.
153
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,894
In the interest of growth
I'm trying to avoid hijinks,
154
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,926
as well as capers, romps,
and exploits.
155
00:06:00,106 --> 00:06:01,798
Escapades are a gray area.
156
00:06:01,823 --> 00:06:04,396
Abed. This is Kat.
157
00:06:04,408 --> 00:06:05,761
Hi, Kat.
Nice to meet you.
158
00:06:05,943 --> 00:06:08,344
She wants to ask you something.
159
00:06:09,184 --> 00:06:10,951
Isn't she perfect for Abed?
160
00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:12,902
She's like one of those quirky
girls from the movies.
161
00:06:12,927 --> 00:06:16,288
I saw her in the cafeteria trying
to pay for lunch with a song.
162
00:06:20,921 --> 00:06:22,750
I asked if you'd go
to the Sadie Hawkins dance
163
00:06:22,768 --> 00:06:24,741
with me into the balloon.
164
00:06:24,766 --> 00:06:25,950
Could you hear it?
165
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,488
Sure, I'd be happy
to go with you.
166
00:06:27,863 --> 00:06:29,760
Super duper mister Cooper!
167
00:06:33,932 --> 00:06:35,070
Nice.
168
00:06:35,151 --> 00:06:37,445
So, you chose the girl
I picked.
169
00:06:37,668 --> 00:06:38,254
It's cool.
170
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:40,352
Not like it was a competition
or anything.
171
00:06:40,883 --> 00:06:44,016
Just be gentle when you tell
Shirley that she was the loser.
172
00:06:44,242 --> 00:06:45,486
Or do you want me to tell her?
173
00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:47,367
It's cool.
I'll handle it.
174
00:06:49,238 --> 00:06:50,760
So, was that girl an alien
175
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:52,857
or a toddler with
a growing disease?
176
00:06:53,061 --> 00:06:54,545
Hello, Abed.
177
00:06:54,604 --> 00:06:56,225
I talked to a lovely girl
at my church
178
00:06:56,256 --> 00:06:58,305
and she'd be happy to go
to the dance with you.
179
00:06:58,324 --> 00:06:59,365
I appreciate it, Shirley,
but I...
180
00:06:59,382 --> 00:07:00,866
I hope you will
at least consider it,
181
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,385
and not just because saying "no"
would crush this poor girl,
182
00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:06,564
but because I don't want you to miss out
on the opportunity of a lifetime.
183
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:08,142
You're right.
184
00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:09,357
I'd love to go to
Britta's dance with her.
185
00:07:09,391 --> 00:07:11,392
Oh, goody!
I'll set it up.
186
00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:14,583
Oh, I hope this doesn't hurt
Annie's feelings.
187
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,913
Maybe I should go tell her.
188
00:07:15,988 --> 00:07:17,278
No need.
I'll handle it.
189
00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:20,314
- Oh, okay.
- Bye-bye.
190
00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:23,086
At the risk of discovering
I'm living two parallel lives
191
00:07:23,105 --> 00:07:24,191
like that guy in Awake,
192
00:07:24,216 --> 00:07:25,656
don't you already have a date
to the dance?
193
00:07:25,681 --> 00:07:27,339
Yep.
Now I have two, which means
194
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,005
I can do the classic two dates
in one night sitcom trope.
195
00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:31,912
I'll get to wear two outfits.
Mix up their names.
196
00:07:31,939 --> 00:07:34,043
- Maybe hide under a table.
- What about growth?
197
00:07:34,061 --> 00:07:35,374
I tried to go in
a more grounded direction,
198
00:07:35,393 --> 00:07:37,978
but I still ended up in a
comically implausible situation.
199
00:07:38,321 --> 00:07:39,320
It's like Shirley said,
200
00:07:39,339 --> 00:07:41,695
it's a once in a lifetime
opportunity for hijinks.
201
00:07:41,751 --> 00:07:42,723
I can't pass it up.
202
00:07:42,735 --> 00:07:44,960
It seems like you already passed up
a great opportunity for hijinks.
203
00:07:44,991 --> 00:07:45,728
I did?
204
00:07:45,759 --> 00:07:47,462
Uh, duh doy!
Britta's dance?
205
00:07:47,515 --> 00:07:48,986
You think two dates is crazy?
206
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:52,515
Planning a dance is hijinks
city, population hijinks.
207
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:54,587
Troy, I need your help.
208
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,770
Get some ice?
209
00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,469
Wac--wacky ice.
The ice will be wacky.
210
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:10,104
Thank you for the corsage.
211
00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,992
Oh, it matches your carnation.
How cute.
212
00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:14,120
Oh, I'm glad you like it.
213
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:15,889
I was afraid you'd think
it was old-fashioned.
214
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:19,770
I like old-fashioned.
I find it refreshing.
215
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:22,679
Speaking of refreshing,
I'm gonna get us some punch.
216
00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:24,864
- Be right back.
- Oh!
217
00:08:27,118 --> 00:08:28,527
Hi, I'm Kevin.
218
00:08:28,552 --> 00:08:30,741
Apparently I'm your DJ tonight.
219
00:08:30,753 --> 00:08:33,769
Uh, I really don't know what
I'm doing, so...
220
00:08:33,797 --> 00:08:36,329
If you have a request,
please be specific.
221
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,367
I have Changnesia.
222
00:08:42,999 --> 00:08:44,097
Can I help you?
223
00:08:44,121 --> 00:08:45,482
Oh, I just wanted to try on
a different look.
224
00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:47,086
I'm pretty indecisive,
so I may be back here
225
00:08:47,104 --> 00:08:48,319
a few times, if that's okay.
226
00:08:48,337 --> 00:08:49,979
- Mm-hmm.
- Cool.
227
00:08:50,128 --> 00:08:52,410
I'm also gonna need to check
this Gideon's Bible
228
00:08:52,661 --> 00:08:54,996
and this jelly bean
kaleidoscope.
229
00:08:55,563 --> 00:08:57,205
- Icebreakers.
- Mm.
230
00:08:57,865 --> 00:08:59,739
Hey, Britta.
Where's Sophie B.?
231
00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:02,684
Is she backstage drinking Zima
and counting her beanie babies?
232
00:09:02,697 --> 00:09:04,437
Sorry, I can't divulge that.
233
00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:06,000
Stars and their privacy,
you know.
234
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,955
But she'll definitely be here?
235
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,760
Oh, yeah.
Sophie be coming.
236
00:09:09,785 --> 00:09:12,475
So it just be coincidence
that somebody posted
237
00:09:12,493 --> 00:09:14,268
a Craigslist ad an hour ago
238
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:17,211
that says, "looking for
Sophie B. Hawkins,
239
00:09:17,235 --> 00:09:19,699
"or convincing
Sophie B. Hawkins impersonator
240
00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:22,438
to play community college
dance tonight.
241
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:23,892
Very little money."
242
00:09:24,138 --> 00:09:26,310
It's weird
how in demand she is.
243
00:09:26,523 --> 00:09:28,685
Good thing we booked her early.
244
00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:31,473
Britta, we're running low
on chips.
245
00:09:31,492 --> 00:09:32,323
Here's what I'm thinking.
246
00:09:32,348 --> 00:09:33,875
I go over
to the Sadie Hawkins dance
247
00:09:33,894 --> 00:09:35,983
as the snack inspector,
doing random spot checks,
248
00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:37,395
and confiscate their chips.
249
00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:39,395
All I need is a disguise.
250
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,744
Or you could just go
to the supply closet
251
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:42,750
and get some more chips.
252
00:09:42,794 --> 00:09:45,854
Okay, but I-I still need
to use the moustache probably.
253
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,234
Here, in lieu of flowers
254
00:09:51,268 --> 00:09:53,253
I got you this.
It's quirky.
255
00:09:53,399 --> 00:09:54,616
Thanks, guv'nor!
256
00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:57,552
I'll just put it
in me invisible sack.
257
00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:00,952
Okay, I'm gonna get us
some punch.
258
00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:05,855
Hey!
259
00:10:05,883 --> 00:10:07,683
How are things going with you
and Jessica?
260
00:10:07,695 --> 00:10:10,328
Are you two-- as they say on TV--
making a connection?
261
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,999
Unless that means sex, in which
case I hope you are not.
262
00:10:13,141 --> 00:10:14,087
Things are great.
263
00:10:14,199 --> 00:10:16,133
Actually, Jessica did mention
that she's cold.
264
00:10:16,171 --> 00:10:17,306
- Could she borrow your sweater?
- Oh.
265
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,208
Maybe the purple one you wore last week.
I didn't see you wear it home,
266
00:10:19,233 --> 00:10:20,789
so I think it's still in your locker
next to your umbrella.
267
00:10:20,814 --> 00:10:22,952
- I guess I could check.
- Could you?
268
00:10:22,971 --> 00:10:25,312
- That'd be great.
- Okay.
269
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:27,973
Hey, roomie.
270
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,055
What do you think of Kat?
271
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:30,966
Did she tell you she plays
the saw?
272
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:32,740
I thought she was
in an all-girl kazoo band?
273
00:10:32,759 --> 00:10:34,950
They need a rhythm section,
duh.
274
00:10:35,007 --> 00:10:37,465
Well, keep me posted.
I'm gonna go say hi to Britta.
275
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:38,778
No, don't!
276
00:10:39,110 --> 00:10:40,503
Because you have something
in your teeth.
277
00:10:40,534 --> 00:10:41,398
A lot of somethings.
278
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,198
I do?
What is it?
279
00:10:43,229 --> 00:10:45,215
Ooh, I can't tell in this light.
But it's definitely there.
280
00:10:45,234 --> 00:10:46,604
You should probably check it out
in the bathroom.
281
00:10:46,623 --> 00:10:47,957
Maybe the second floor one?
Better light.
282
00:10:47,969 --> 00:10:49,640
I will.
Thank you.
283
00:10:49,843 --> 00:10:51,794
You're a good friend.
284
00:11:00,783 --> 00:11:02,416
Hello, Jeffrey.
285
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,715
Are you enjoying the sock hop?
286
00:11:04,815 --> 00:11:07,326
A sock hop Britta has
all but "Britta'd"
287
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,305
by not "Britta-ing"
her own dance.
288
00:11:09,329 --> 00:11:10,846
Well, the night is young.
289
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:11,741
- Mm.
- By the way,
290
00:11:11,769 --> 00:11:13,582
I'm surprised you let her share
the cafeteria with you.
291
00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,952
Oh, I didn't want to.
But once she guaranteed
292
00:11:15,970 --> 00:11:18,147
the presence of a certain
someone, I couldn't say no.
293
00:11:19,217 --> 00:11:21,448
I wouldn't get your hopes
up for Sophie B...
294
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:24,436
- Oh, it's me.
- Shall we dance? Whoop.
295
00:11:26,604 --> 00:11:28,427
- Are you reading the Bible?
- No spoilers.
296
00:11:28,452 --> 00:11:31,232
I'm really hoping that things
turn around for this Job guy.
297
00:11:32,007 --> 00:11:33,669
So, how do I look?
298
00:11:33,744 --> 00:11:35,766
Good.
Except you gotta lose the hat.
299
00:11:35,806 --> 00:11:37,822
It doesn't go with
the minister's daughter.
300
00:11:41,614 --> 00:11:42,590
You know what I'm doing.
301
00:11:42,615 --> 00:11:44,686
Yeah.
You're on two dates at once.
302
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,303
I've been watching you
since you came in.
303
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:47,998
I'm not good with faces.
Is that a judgmental face
304
00:11:48,016 --> 00:11:50,439
or a happy face?
- I think it's awesome.
305
00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:53,478
It's one of my favorite bits,
like when a dog acts embarrassed,
306
00:11:53,529 --> 00:11:55,017
or when a guy
chases after the girl
307
00:11:55,029 --> 00:11:57,186
and then does that big public
declaration of love.
308
00:11:57,355 --> 00:11:59,805
It's not realistic. It's taking something
private and turning it into a performance.
309
00:11:59,823 --> 00:12:01,068
Well, I think
the dog's trained.
310
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,405
No, I was talking about
the public declaration of love...
311
00:12:03,955 --> 00:12:06,731
- Oh, you're messing with me.
- Yes, I was.
312
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,898
So this thing's turning out to be a little
tougher than I thought. You wanna help?
313
00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:11,729
I'd like to,
but I've still got like
314
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,074
1,200 pages left of this Bible.
Yes, of course I would.
315
00:12:14,098 --> 00:12:15,780
Cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
316
00:12:15,856 --> 00:12:17,170
Tonight's Sadie Hawkins dance
317
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:19,900
is brought to you
by Hawthorne Wipes.
318
00:12:19,952 --> 00:12:22,387
For the little lady who knows
her place in the kitchen.
319
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,964
And tonight's
Sophie B. Hawkins dance
320
00:12:24,983 --> 00:12:27,685
is brought to you
by Hawthorne Wipes.
321
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,713
Perfect for cleaning the
dashboard of your '92 Subaru.
322
00:12:32,341 --> 00:12:35,729
Ah, quite a turnout, Britta.
323
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:39,176
Yep. Didn't know Sophie B.
Hawkins was so big at Greendale.
324
00:12:39,195 --> 00:12:41,996
Oh, yeah.
A large percentage of Greendale
325
00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:44,592
students sort of gave up
in the mid '90s,
326
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:45,843
so for many of them
327
00:12:45,868 --> 00:12:48,715
Sophie B. Hawkins is the most
recent music they're aware of.
328
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:52,592
I mean, her coming here is gonna
be a huge boost to their spirits.
329
00:12:52,623 --> 00:12:53,505
Great.
330
00:12:53,531 --> 00:12:56,368
Whereas, her not showing up
331
00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:58,958
would be enough
to push these people
332
00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:00,871
to such a dark place
and really question
333
00:13:00,908 --> 00:13:04,387
whether life is worth living
at all.
334
00:13:05,145 --> 00:13:07,460
Okay, bye-bye.
335
00:13:08,112 --> 00:13:10,984
So, how long have you been
doing Bible studies?
336
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:13,315
I mean, making miniature hats
out of duct tape?
337
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,907
- Oh, duct tape hat...
- Oh!
338
00:13:18,557 --> 00:13:19,245
Ah!
339
00:13:19,264 --> 00:13:20,986
So you've never seen any
of the Star Wars movies?
340
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,854
We were taught popular films
were the work of the devil.
341
00:13:22,873 --> 00:13:24,423
Well, if you're talking about
the Phantom Menace,
342
00:13:24,435 --> 00:13:26,023
you were taught right.
343
00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:29,344
- Telegram.
- Ooh, yeah, it's urgent.
344
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,879
Be right back.
345
00:13:32,352 --> 00:13:34,731
Pierce, Sophie B. Hawkins
isn't coming.
346
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,123
Everyone's gonna know
I'm a liar.
347
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,426
- Help me.
- Oh, Britta.
348
00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:40,260
Let me tell you a story about
a friend of mine
349
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,932
that everyone called a liar.
350
00:13:42,106 --> 00:13:43,606
His name was Bernie Madoff.
351
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,240
Pierce!
He was a liar.
352
00:13:45,264 --> 00:13:47,937
He stole billions of dollars
from his clients.
353
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,745
Has this been confirmed?
354
00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:54,133
Oh, my God.
I "Britta'd" it.
355
00:13:56,509 --> 00:13:58,108
Bernie?
356
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,958
- Oh, hi, Shirley.
- Hello, Annie.
357
00:14:02,054 --> 00:14:05,507
Abed seems to be having a good
time, which is all that matters.
358
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:06,709
You're right.
359
00:14:06,736 --> 00:14:08,468
Looks like he made
the right choice.
360
00:14:08,487 --> 00:14:10,187
He certainly did.
361
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,737
So, we agree.
The best woman won.
362
00:14:12,761 --> 00:14:15,192
She certainly did.
363
00:14:15,913 --> 00:14:17,363
He's on two dates, isn't he?
364
00:14:17,585 --> 00:14:19,703
He certainly is.
365
00:14:20,674 --> 00:14:23,472
This is the most fun I've ever
had on a work study gig.
366
00:14:23,507 --> 00:14:25,095
And I used to run
the frozen yogurt machine
367
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,557
before that old guy broke it.
368
00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:27,610
There's been
so many close calls.
369
00:14:27,622 --> 00:14:29,416
I keep forgetting details,
using the wrong names,
370
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,861
- having to duck behind plants.
- Aah!
371
00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:33,123
This night has been perfect.
372
00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:34,749
Oh, what else is on the list?
373
00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:37,167
- Oh!
- Sorry.
374
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:46,019
If this were a movie, this would
be the part where we kiss.
375
00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:47,923
You're right.
376
00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:50,931
Except we're doing a sitcom trope,
so it'd be totally out of place.
377
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,395
Time to go get caught and make an
impassioned plea to the girl I really like.
378
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:54,464
I think I'm gonna go with Jessica.
379
00:14:54,482 --> 00:14:55,651
She seems to be
the audience favorite.
380
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,541
Okay, bye.
381
00:15:05,012 --> 00:15:05,751
Uh-oh.
382
00:15:05,763 --> 00:15:07,632
Did you really think
you'd get away with this?
383
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,629
- Let me explain.
- What about wanting to grow?
384
00:15:09,654 --> 00:15:13,773
Or was that just a lie so you could do
another world-famous Abed TV adventure?
385
00:15:13,792 --> 00:15:15,354
These are real people
you're messing with.
386
00:15:15,386 --> 00:15:17,883
Kat is over there hula-hooping
all by herself.
387
00:15:17,922 --> 00:15:21,628
Abed, in the real world people
can actually get hurt.
388
00:15:23,979 --> 00:15:28,510
Oh, this is great.
So, I got a request for,
389
00:15:28,551 --> 00:15:31,058
"You suck at this.
Get off the stage."
390
00:15:31,089 --> 00:15:33,223
Okay, I don't know if that's
the band or the song.
391
00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:36,712
Again, apologies.
Changnesia.
392
00:15:36,991 --> 00:15:38,736
Well, it blew up in my face,
393
00:15:38,774 --> 00:15:41,160
in a slightly different way than
I planned.
394
00:15:41,604 --> 00:15:44,034
- Can I help you?
- Where's Rachel?
395
00:15:44,065 --> 00:15:45,956
- She said she had to go.
- Where?
396
00:15:45,983 --> 00:15:47,501
I don't know.
She seemed upset.
397
00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:49,223
She ran out of here without
tagging half this stuff.
398
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,006
I mean, whose water wings
are these?
399
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:53,597
Come back here!
400
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:55,536
Never mind.
401
00:16:05,162 --> 00:16:06,163
Sorry.
402
00:16:06,194 --> 00:16:07,549
I did mean what
I said about growth.
403
00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:10,761
But then you were both so intent on
getting me dates, I couldn't help myself.
404
00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:12,551
It was wrong, and hurtful.
405
00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:13,689
I see that now.
406
00:16:13,818 --> 00:16:16,687
Well, maybe setting you up
was a bad idea.
407
00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:19,859
Yeah, I guess neither of our
girls were really right for you.
408
00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:22,795
The worst part is that I met
a girl tonight that I really do like.
409
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,497
But I was so busy chasing one trope,
I missed the trope right under my nose...
410
00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:27,960
That the girl I liked all along
was under my nose.
411
00:16:28,222 --> 00:16:30,422
And now I've screwed things up.
I don't know if I can make them right.
412
00:16:30,453 --> 00:16:31,304
Aww.
413
00:16:31,322 --> 00:16:33,232
Wait.
This one's real, right?
414
00:16:33,249 --> 00:16:34,066
Yeah, I'm really sad.
415
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,329
Aww.
416
00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:37,465
Well, go find her, dummy.
417
00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:39,640
Yeah, haven't you ever seen
a movie?
418
00:16:40,576 --> 00:16:44,117
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
419
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,517
Sophie. Sophie. Sophie.
420
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,565
I hate to say I told you so,
421
00:16:48,595 --> 00:16:50,436
but I'm gonna say it
to Britta's face.
422
00:16:50,518 --> 00:16:53,189
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
423
00:16:53,201 --> 00:16:55,048
What is the nature of hope?
424
00:16:55,061 --> 00:16:56,982
Sophie's not coming, guys.
425
00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:01,382
Boo! Boo!
426
00:17:01,407 --> 00:17:03,142
Looks like someone
underestimated
427
00:17:03,161 --> 00:17:05,166
the time it takes
to plan a dance.
428
00:17:06,977 --> 00:17:08,994
Hey, hey, hey!
It's Sophie B. Hawkins!
429
00:17:19,851 --> 00:17:23,169
Good evening!
I'm Sophie B. Hawkins.
430
00:17:23,555 --> 00:17:25,050
I think you know this one.
431
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,397
Oh, man.
432
00:17:27,539 --> 00:17:31,669
♪ That old dog has chained
you up all right ♪
433
00:17:32,546 --> 00:17:34,634
♪ Give you everything
you need ♪
434
00:17:34,652 --> 00:17:37,504
♪ To live inside
a twisted cage ♪
435
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,529
♪ Sleep beside an empty rage
436
00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:40,795
Did you do this?
437
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:42,779
If it's possible
to make something happen
438
00:17:42,791 --> 00:17:45,332
by willing it,
then, yes, I did.
439
00:17:45,705 --> 00:17:49,958
♪ Damn, I wish
I was your lover ♪
440
00:17:49,989 --> 00:17:52,717
♪ I'd rock you till
the daylight comes ♪
441
00:17:52,754 --> 00:17:55,927
♪ Made sure you are smiling
and warm ♪
442
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,743
♪ I am everything
443
00:17:57,768 --> 00:17:59,946
♪ tonight I'll be your mother
444
00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:02,883
♪ I'll do such things
to ease your pain ♪
445
00:18:02,912 --> 00:18:06,298
♪ Free your mind
and you won't feel ashamed ♪
446
00:18:06,306 --> 00:18:08,409
♪ Oh
447
00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:10,509
Pardon me, Sophie.
448
00:18:10,555 --> 00:18:12,955
I have something to say.
449
00:18:14,529 --> 00:18:17,811
There was a girl here tonight.
Her name was Rachel.
450
00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:20,034
I met her,
and it was very pleasant.
451
00:18:20,493 --> 00:18:22,644
And I made a mistake.
452
00:18:24,806 --> 00:18:27,375
And now I'd very much like to continue
this conversation in private.
453
00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:30,110
Wow, viva lost love.
454
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:34,594
♪ Damn
455
00:18:34,619 --> 00:18:37,152
♪ I wish I was your lover
456
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,299
♪ I'd rock you till
the daylight comes... ♪
457
00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:42,514
- You came back.
- That was pretty embarrassing.
458
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:44,528
- I had to...
- Hmm.
459
00:18:44,572 --> 00:18:47,001
It was.
But I'm glad I did it.
460
00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:49,478
So, would you like
to go out sometime?
461
00:18:49,635 --> 00:18:50,755
I would like that.
462
00:18:50,803 --> 00:18:53,112
Do you want to pretend like you're
just going out with me on a bet?
463
00:18:53,137 --> 00:18:54,775
- Oh, I'd like that very much.
- Mm-hmm.
464
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:56,331
But maybe we should try
normal first.
465
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:59,291
- Sure.
- Oh!
466
00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:03,961
- I prefer As I Lay Me Down.
- Me too.
467
00:19:06,556 --> 00:19:08,190
I can't believe
she pulled this off.
468
00:19:08,208 --> 00:19:09,308
I know.
469
00:19:09,342 --> 00:19:11,970
According to dean law,
I must now give her my amulet.
470
00:19:12,473 --> 00:19:14,343
- What?
- Hmm?
471
00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:18,342
Well, she had a little help
from a wise old man
472
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:20,530
who was the official supplier
of moist towelettes
473
00:19:20,554 --> 00:19:23,940
to the Lilith Fair between
1997 and 1999.
474
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:25,940
I knew it.
You're safe.
475
00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:29,818
You did this?
But why?
476
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,539
Because, in the face
of all logic and reason,
477
00:19:32,599 --> 00:19:35,561
Britta didn't back down.
That makes no sense.
478
00:19:35,573 --> 00:19:37,878
Also, I didn't like the way you
were being such a jerk to her.
479
00:19:37,897 --> 00:19:38,888
Well, she was acting crazy.
480
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:40,760
Yeah, but what choice
did she have?
481
00:19:40,797 --> 00:19:44,049
You make fun of her, you use her
name as a synonym for screwing up.
482
00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:46,153
Cut her some slack, Jeff.
483
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,501
She helped you reconcile
with your dad.
484
00:19:48,756 --> 00:19:51,357
For Pete's sake,
let her be happy.
485
00:19:54,878 --> 00:19:59,930
♪ It felt like springtime
on this February morning ♪
486
00:19:59,962 --> 00:20:04,517
♪ In the courtyard birds
were singing your praise ♪
487
00:20:06,050 --> 00:20:09,074
"I know it's probably
impossible to read my texts
488
00:20:09,099 --> 00:20:11,810
"without them sounding
sarcastic, but...
489
00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:15,078
I assure you, "this one is
as earnest as they come.
490
00:20:15,221 --> 00:20:18,085
"Congratulations on
an awesome dance.
491
00:20:18,097 --> 00:20:20,752
You Britta'd the hell out
of this thing."
492
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:23,060
♪ This I pray
493
00:20:23,101 --> 00:20:26,594
♪ that you will hold me, dear
494
00:20:27,683 --> 00:20:32,971
♪ As I lay me down to sleep
495
00:20:32,995 --> 00:20:34,912
♪ this I pray
496
00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:38,244
♪ that you will hold me, dear ♪
497
00:20:38,552 --> 00:20:40,270
♪ Though I'm far away
498
00:20:40,302 --> 00:20:44,810
♪ I'll whisper your name
499
00:20:44,854 --> 00:20:46,788
♪ into the sky
500
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:52,783
Can you do one where you
wish you had ice cream?
501
00:20:52,945 --> 00:20:55,730
♪ Damn I wish I had some ice cream
502
00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:57,218
That's so good.
503
00:20:57,243 --> 00:21:00,084
Okay, can you do one where
you wish I was Batman?
504
00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:02,721
Fine. But this is the last one.
505
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:06,193
♪ Damn I wish Abed was Batman
506
00:21:06,219 --> 00:21:07,792
- I love you so much!
- That is so good!
507
00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:10,588
Alright, alright. You guys are taking
advantage of Mrs. Sophie Hawkins.
508
00:21:10,613 --> 00:21:13,508
- But... I was gonna...
- No. But you nothing. She's an artist.
509
00:21:13,545 --> 00:21:16,042
She's not here to do your bidding.
510
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,456
Sorry about that.
511
00:21:17,499 --> 00:21:20,588
Now if you could just sing,
"Dean I Wish I Was Your Lover"
512
00:21:20,624 --> 00:21:23,183
with these new lyrics.
It's for my voicemail.
513
00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:25,606
- Who's Jeff Winger?
- Just sing the damn song!
514
00:21:25,631 --> 00:21:30,902
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com