1 00:00:06,037 --> 00:00:07,304 We are so screwed. 2 00:00:07,305 --> 00:00:08,472 How are we gonna memorize all this? 3 00:00:08,473 --> 00:00:09,706 Let's just go over it again. 4 00:00:09,707 --> 00:00:11,774 Kingdom, phylum, class... 5 00:00:11,775 --> 00:00:14,692 Order, family, genus, species. 6 00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:17,191 I use a mnemonic device. 7 00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:21,184 "Kevin, please come over for gay sex." 8 00:00:21,185 --> 00:00:23,686 Why wouldn't you use "Karen"? 9 00:00:23,687 --> 00:00:25,255 'Cause it's gay sex, dummy. 10 00:00:25,256 --> 00:00:26,822 So use "great". 11 00:00:26,823 --> 00:00:28,790 Now I can't remember anything. Thanks! 12 00:00:28,791 --> 00:00:30,585 God, why do we always wind up in this position? 13 00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:32,366 For all the time you spend here, you'd think we wouldn't 14 00:00:32,395 --> 00:00:33,576 have to cram so much. 15 00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:35,077 Maybe we never get any work done because we have 16 00:00:35,097 --> 00:00:36,579 so much fun hanging out together. 17 00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:39,516 Definitely, maybe that's why. 18 00:00:40,371 --> 00:00:45,706 Ah, the duali-Dean of man. 19 00:00:45,707 --> 00:00:48,342 I'm dressed this way because I have good news and bad news. 20 00:00:48,343 --> 00:00:50,344 You have got to be kidding me. 21 00:00:50,345 --> 00:00:53,314 The bad news is Professor Kane has the flu. 22 00:00:53,315 --> 00:00:55,816 The good news is biology class is canceled... 23 00:00:57,686 --> 00:00:58,752 After you. 24 00:00:58,753 --> 00:01:01,521 What a gentleman. 25 00:01:01,522 --> 00:01:04,191 Guys, we don't have to cram last minute anymore. 26 00:01:04,192 --> 00:01:06,226 Last minute got moved to tomorrow. 27 00:01:06,227 --> 00:01:08,228 Three-hour lunch? Three-hour lunch? Three-hour lunch? 28 00:01:08,229 --> 00:01:09,462 Three hours? 29 00:01:09,463 --> 00:01:11,198 I could watch the first half of three movies. 30 00:01:11,199 --> 00:01:12,532 Ooh, I don't have to go to the fast food 31 00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:13,667 restaurant across the street. 32 00:01:13,668 --> 00:01:15,068 I can go to the fancy one across town. 33 00:01:15,069 --> 00:01:16,302 Their manager wears a tie. 34 00:01:16,303 --> 00:01:17,736 If we don't eat, we can make-believe 35 00:01:17,737 --> 00:01:19,205 an whole episode's worth of Inspector Spacetime 36 00:01:19,206 --> 00:01:20,606 - in the Dreamatorium. - Word. 37 00:01:20,607 --> 00:01:22,441 Yeah. 38 00:01:22,442 --> 00:01:24,510 Maybe we should go to Señor Kevin's. 39 00:01:24,511 --> 00:01:26,512 Britta, didn't you want to try that new cage-free bean burrito? 40 00:01:26,513 --> 00:01:28,914 The tortillas are made with micro-financed flour. 41 00:01:28,915 --> 00:01:30,449 Troy, you could drive. 44 00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:36,554 I can't go to Señor Kevin's. The manager and I are enemies. 45 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,888 He said Die Hard was bad. 46 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,257 - He said Die Hard was bad. - I know, buddy. 47 00:01:39,258 --> 00:01:40,791 Well, how about this. 48 00:01:40,792 --> 00:01:44,061 This lunch is already a runaway train, no point in stopping it. 49 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,331 Troy, Britta, you go to Señor Kevin's. 50 00:01:46,332 --> 00:01:48,198 Abed promised he'd show me how the Dreamatorium works. 51 00:01:48,199 --> 00:01:50,100 - Today's the perfect day for it. - But I want to... 52 00:01:50,101 --> 00:01:51,702 Abed, don't you think today's 53 00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:53,237 - the perfect day for it? - No. 54 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,706 - Abed. - Is this a social cue? 55 00:01:55,707 --> 00:01:59,914 I left my Puttin' On the Ritz cane in here earlier. 56 00:02:00,878 --> 00:02:02,512 I know it probably has another name, 57 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:05,781 but, um, can I be perfectly honest with you guys? 58 00:02:05,782 --> 00:02:07,683 I think I went too far with this one. 59 00:02:07,684 --> 00:02:11,954 I have to go to the bank today. 60 00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:13,656 What am I supposed to tell people in line? 61 00:02:13,657 --> 00:02:16,492 "I had good news and bad news"? 62 00:02:16,493 --> 00:02:18,461 Come on, Craig. 63 00:02:18,462 --> 00:02:20,729 Get you life together. 64 00:02:25,289 --> 00:02:28,439 ♪ Give me some more, time in a dream ♪ 65 00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,816 ♪ Give me the hope to run out of steam ♪ 66 00:02:31,866 --> 00:02:35,034 ♪ Somebody said we could be here ♪ 67 00:02:35,182 --> 00:02:39,135 ♪ We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ♪ 68 00:02:39,164 --> 00:02:44,068 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 69 00:02:44,093 --> 00:02:48,029 ♪ One by one they all just fade away ♪ 70 00:02:48,174 --> 00:02:51,676 Sync & Corrections by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 71 00:02:53,327 --> 00:02:55,561 I am Inspector Spacetime. 72 00:02:55,562 --> 00:02:57,630 And I know that which is unknown. 73 00:02:57,631 --> 00:03:01,534 Duty-bound to protect a universe of innocent unremarkables, 74 00:03:01,535 --> 00:03:04,069 I patrol it in the x7 Dimensionizer 75 00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:06,539 with my loyal constable, Reggie. 76 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,641 This week, however, Reggie has been forced to go to lunch. 77 00:03:09,642 --> 00:03:12,944 So I'm aboard the much crappier H.M.S. Spacetime 12, 78 00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:17,349 from the worst season ever, with temporary constable, Geneva. 79 00:03:17,350 --> 00:03:20,452 Geneva, I need the quantum spanner, the big one. 80 00:03:20,453 --> 00:03:24,388 Oi, gov'ner, quantum spammer, up an' at 'em, in'it? 81 00:03:26,925 --> 00:03:28,225 If we can't get out of orbital lock, 82 00:03:28,226 --> 00:03:29,860 the Blorgons may intercept. 83 00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,329 Tut tut, m'lord. 84 00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:35,232 Wouldn't give a tuppence for that sticky wicket. 85 00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:37,067 Okay, stop simulation. 86 00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:38,235 More British? 87 00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:40,002 I can't do this anymore. 88 00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:42,171 But the Blo-gons might intercept... 89 00:03:42,172 --> 00:03:43,606 It's Blorgons with an "r". 90 00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:45,007 Blo-gon means "thank you" in blorgon. 91 00:03:45,008 --> 00:03:46,876 Can't we play something I know about 92 00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:49,520 like hospital administration? 93 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:54,951 You're mad at me for playing matchmaker with Troy and Britta. 94 00:03:54,952 --> 00:03:56,552 You think you're gonna lose Troy. 95 00:03:56,553 --> 00:03:57,472 I'm not petty, Annie. 96 00:03:57,481 --> 00:03:58,556 I'm mad at you because you tampered 97 00:03:58,588 --> 00:03:59,738 with the fabric of the group. 98 00:03:59,762 --> 00:04:01,065 How do you know Troy and Britta pairing up 99 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:02,137 wouldn't destroy everything? 100 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,094 I run the scenarios. 101 00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:04,659 I examine this stuff from every conceivable angle. 102 00:04:04,694 --> 00:04:06,928 Oh, and you can do that but I can't? 103 00:04:06,929 --> 00:04:09,365 You don't have a patent on being a control freak, Abed. 104 00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:10,399 I kind of do. 105 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,500 You think this is just a room where Troy and I play dinosaurs 106 00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:13,868 versus river boat gamblers together? 107 00:04:13,869 --> 00:04:15,470 Sure, it's how I got the construction approved, 108 00:04:15,471 --> 00:04:16,804 but, much like myself, 109 00:04:16,805 --> 00:04:18,906 the Dreamatorium has higher functions. 110 00:04:18,907 --> 00:04:20,561 Would you like me to show you how your stunt 111 00:04:20,586 --> 00:04:22,030 with Troy and Britta will play itself out? 112 00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:23,311 Why not? 113 00:04:23,479 --> 00:04:25,346 Execute simulation Troy/Britta. 114 00:04:25,347 --> 00:04:29,115 Render environment Señor Kevin's. 115 00:04:29,116 --> 00:04:30,617 Oh, those appetizers 116 00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:33,487 were dope and legit! 117 00:04:33,488 --> 00:04:34,821 I don't usually support lunch 118 00:04:34,822 --> 00:04:37,591 because it's unfair to breakfast. 119 00:04:37,592 --> 00:04:38,592 I never thought about 120 00:04:38,593 --> 00:04:41,661 meals fighting each other. 121 00:04:41,662 --> 00:04:43,096 I guess that explains why you never 122 00:04:43,097 --> 00:04:45,364 see any two of them on the same table. 123 00:04:45,365 --> 00:04:47,400 So I guess Annie's pretty hot to get us together. 124 00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:50,369 She probably just doesn't understand people. 125 00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:51,804 Well, the sooner the food comes, 126 00:04:51,805 --> 00:04:53,972 the sooner this will be over. 127 00:04:53,973 --> 00:04:57,643 I'm afraid your food won't be ready for another half hour. 128 00:04:57,644 --> 00:05:01,312 I'm too busy misunderstanding the whole point of Die Hard. 129 00:05:01,313 --> 00:05:04,348 I can't wait to get home to Abed. 130 00:05:04,349 --> 00:05:06,551 So you can dart back and forth 131 00:05:06,552 --> 00:05:08,052 doing impressions of your friends. 132 00:05:08,053 --> 00:05:09,921 There's no science at work here. 133 00:05:09,922 --> 00:05:13,257 You're right. 134 00:05:13,258 --> 00:05:16,192 The science is at work in here. 135 00:05:17,995 --> 00:05:21,197 This is the Dreamatorium's engine. 136 00:05:21,198 --> 00:05:22,599 My thoughts are collected by this box 137 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,902 and everything I know about my friends is stored here. 138 00:05:24,903 --> 00:05:26,269 Both are distilled by logic and then 139 00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:28,071 recombined into objective observation. 140 00:05:28,072 --> 00:05:29,740 I'm able to simulate any of the study group 141 00:05:29,741 --> 00:05:32,942 and even a half-accurate Chang in over 7,000 unique situations. 142 00:05:32,943 --> 00:05:36,224 Abed, it's cardboard tubes and a funnel. 143 00:05:36,249 --> 00:05:37,764 Well you see it that way because it's calibrated 144 00:05:37,781 --> 00:05:39,649 to a specific level of brain function. 145 00:05:39,905 --> 00:05:41,518 Right. I'm stupid. 146 00:05:41,552 --> 00:05:43,853 Not stupid, just less able to see what I see. 147 00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:46,923 Gee, you've got it all figured out. 148 00:05:49,258 --> 00:05:52,026 King of toilet paper rolls over here. 149 00:05:52,027 --> 00:05:55,797 Hey, Troy, I'm glad you called. 150 00:05:55,798 --> 00:05:56,932 Your lunch is going well, right? 151 00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:58,667 Yeah, just checking on Abed. 152 00:05:58,668 --> 00:06:00,569 Making sure he's okay. 153 00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:03,004 What? He's fine. 154 00:06:03,005 --> 00:06:04,905 He just implied I operate on a lower level 155 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,641 of brain function, so business as usual. 156 00:06:07,642 --> 00:06:11,144 Great, um, just, you know, make sure he stays comfortable. 157 00:06:11,145 --> 00:06:12,746 I worry about him when I'm not around. 158 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:16,884 Well, he's fine, he always will be. 159 00:06:16,885 --> 00:06:18,853 People bend over backwards to cater to him. 160 00:06:18,854 --> 00:06:21,554 He's just extra sensitive in the Dreamatorium. 161 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,623 It takes a lot out of him to run that thing. 162 00:06:23,624 --> 00:06:25,124 I don't want you to break his brain. 163 00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,425 Bye, Troy. 164 00:06:26,426 --> 00:06:29,496 - How is he? - He'll be okay. 165 00:06:29,497 --> 00:06:31,130 It's so sweet how much you care about him. 166 00:06:31,131 --> 00:06:34,300 And another thing I hate about Die Hard, 167 00:06:34,301 --> 00:06:37,235 two FBI agents named Johnson. 168 00:06:39,005 --> 00:06:41,640 I've been thinking about our Inspector Spacetime scenario. 169 00:06:41,641 --> 00:06:43,742 It might work better if instead of playing Geneva, 170 00:06:43,743 --> 00:06:44,977 you played Rosamund. 171 00:06:44,978 --> 00:06:46,311 She was a constable in season five 172 00:06:46,312 --> 00:06:48,480 and she only had three lines. 173 00:06:48,481 --> 00:06:50,081 I have a better idea. 174 00:06:50,082 --> 00:06:52,449 You know what would make your scenarios a lot more realistic? 175 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:53,618 If Troy weren't on a date. 176 00:06:53,619 --> 00:06:54,919 Why don't you take all your thoughts 177 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,255 and your logic and add one step to the process. 178 00:06:58,256 --> 00:06:59,790 - What are you doing? - From now on, 179 00:06:59,791 --> 00:07:01,692 before you do or say anything, 180 00:07:01,693 --> 00:07:04,595 you're gonna think about how it affects the people around you. 181 00:07:04,596 --> 00:07:07,131 We lower functioning brains call this "empathy". 182 00:07:10,668 --> 00:07:14,070 Abed? 183 00:07:14,071 --> 00:07:17,674 Abed? 184 00:07:17,675 --> 00:07:19,543 Oh, my God, I broke Abed. 185 00:07:22,916 --> 00:07:24,522 Abed? 186 00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:25,997 You know how you wanted me to tell you 187 00:07:26,009 --> 00:07:28,574 when you were being scary weird instead of cute weird? 188 00:07:28,632 --> 00:07:31,568 This is scary weird. 189 00:07:33,671 --> 00:07:36,372 Hello, Annie. 190 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,575 What was I doing on the floor? 191 00:07:38,576 --> 00:07:40,910 Were we... doing it? 192 00:07:40,911 --> 00:07:43,145 Are you being Jeff? 193 00:07:43,146 --> 00:07:46,414 Well, I'm not being a Kardashian. 194 00:07:46,415 --> 00:07:47,583 So where are we now? 195 00:07:47,584 --> 00:07:50,786 We're in the doctor's lounge of Greendale Hospital School. 196 00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:51,854 Hospital school? 197 00:07:51,855 --> 00:07:53,489 It's a sexy emotional school 198 00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:55,290 where doctors save lives and make love, 199 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:56,525 often simultaneously. 200 00:07:56,526 --> 00:07:58,927 Our stories, ripped from the headlines. 201 00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:00,761 Our passions, unbridled. 202 00:08:00,762 --> 00:08:03,831 Our cafeteria, eh... 203 00:08:03,832 --> 00:08:05,199 Make love to me, Ann. 204 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,467 I know I'm just a surgeon 205 00:08:06,468 --> 00:08:08,335 and you're a hotshot upstart administrator, 206 00:08:08,336 --> 00:08:09,904 but damn the rules, damn the system, 207 00:08:09,905 --> 00:08:12,607 damn our two foot height disparity, I want you. 208 00:08:12,608 --> 00:08:16,043 Okay, Abed, I get it, we have different sensibilities. 209 00:08:16,044 --> 00:08:17,978 Later. 210 00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,415 Bye. 211 00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:24,350 I'm leaving. 212 00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:36,094 Okay, Dr. Jeff, 213 00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:38,631 can you please tell me where I can find Abed? 214 00:08:38,632 --> 00:08:39,732 I owe him an apology. 215 00:08:39,733 --> 00:08:42,167 Abed? Never heard of him. 216 00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:46,304 Terrific. 217 00:08:46,305 --> 00:08:48,640 I asked you a question, doctor. 218 00:08:48,641 --> 00:08:49,607 I'm a surgeon! 219 00:08:49,608 --> 00:08:51,208 And I'm your administrator! 220 00:08:51,209 --> 00:08:53,110 I left my wife for you and she was pregnant! 221 00:08:53,111 --> 00:08:55,346 Who do you think inseminated her? 222 00:08:55,347 --> 00:08:57,849 Now tell me what I want to know or God as my witness, 223 00:08:57,850 --> 00:08:59,183 I'll have your stethoscope. 224 00:08:59,184 --> 00:09:00,718 Fine. 225 00:09:00,719 --> 00:09:03,254 Dr. Perry might know. 226 00:09:03,255 --> 00:09:06,189 Render environment bio lab. 227 00:09:07,892 --> 00:09:10,727 Look, there's Britta and Troy fooling around with each other. 228 00:09:10,728 --> 00:09:13,830 Look, there's Abed having overcome his issues. 229 00:09:13,831 --> 00:09:15,198 Nice try. 230 00:09:15,199 --> 00:09:18,501 Dr. Barnes, Dr. Perry. 231 00:09:18,502 --> 00:09:21,571 We just saved an uninsured homeless man's life. 232 00:09:21,572 --> 00:09:23,940 Using an unapproved procedure. 233 00:09:23,941 --> 00:09:26,876 Now, we're going to kiss. 234 00:09:32,649 --> 00:09:34,216 This is what you think I want? 235 00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:36,751 What do you want, administrator? 236 00:09:36,752 --> 00:09:38,319 I want to talk to Abed. 237 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,754 There's no one here by that name. 238 00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:41,957 - You're lying. - Maybe I am, so what? 239 00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,992 I was raised on the mean streets of Harlem. 240 00:09:43,993 --> 00:09:45,193 I'm not scared of you. 241 00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:48,129 Well, be scared of this. 242 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,534 Sodium pentothal, known commonly as truth serum. 243 00:09:56,170 --> 00:10:00,040 I saw Abed's name in the hospital school files, 244 00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:02,275 I love butt stuff, I hate spiders, 245 00:10:02,276 --> 00:10:04,344 I stole a pen from the bank, 246 00:10:04,345 --> 00:10:07,047 I cried during About a Boy... The soundtrack... 247 00:10:07,048 --> 00:10:09,616 I don't wash my hands before surgery. 248 00:10:09,617 --> 00:10:12,118 I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point 249 00:10:12,119 --> 00:10:14,220 where I might just as well be attracted to him. 250 00:10:14,221 --> 00:10:17,023 I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the Internet 251 00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:18,324 at the drop of a hat. 252 00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:20,093 I know nothing about wine. 253 00:10:20,094 --> 00:10:22,561 I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. 254 00:10:22,562 --> 00:10:24,430 I just want to know they feel comfortable. 255 00:10:24,431 --> 00:10:28,166 I didn't get Inception. 256 00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:31,870 I didn't get Inception. 257 00:10:33,973 --> 00:10:35,540 You said you saw his name in the files. 258 00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:37,375 There's so many layers. 259 00:10:37,376 --> 00:10:41,311 Right, render environment medical study room. 260 00:10:41,312 --> 00:10:42,613 There's head nurse, Shirley, 261 00:10:42,614 --> 00:10:44,649 talking to tragic, heart-wrenching Alzheimer's 262 00:10:44,650 --> 00:10:47,084 patient and Emmy-contender, Pierce Hawthorne. 263 00:10:47,085 --> 00:10:51,088 Mr. Hawthorne, you're out of your bed again. 264 00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:52,556 'Cause I think I'm on a train. 265 00:10:52,557 --> 00:10:54,291 Oh! Oh! 266 00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:56,527 Shirley, get me the file on Abed. 267 00:10:56,528 --> 00:10:58,227 Abed doesn't exist, young lady. 268 00:10:58,228 --> 00:10:59,663 He exists if I say so. 269 00:10:59,664 --> 00:11:00,997 This is my hospital school. 270 00:11:00,998 --> 00:11:02,999 Your hospital school, young lady, is a simulation 271 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,001 being run through a filter of other people's needs. 272 00:11:05,002 --> 00:11:08,838 Abed's been filtered out because nobody needs him. 273 00:11:08,839 --> 00:11:09,839 I need him. 274 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:10,974 Well you're not simulated. 275 00:11:10,975 --> 00:11:12,275 No, but this is! 276 00:11:13,342 --> 00:11:14,743 Ooh! 277 00:11:14,744 --> 00:11:16,145 And there's more where that didn't come from. 278 00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:17,946 This is a private compartment. 279 00:11:17,947 --> 00:11:20,115 - Jeff, get the files. - Why me? 280 00:11:20,116 --> 00:11:22,951 Because you can see the cabinets. 281 00:11:22,952 --> 00:11:24,153 And I'll make love to you. 282 00:11:24,154 --> 00:11:26,188 Jackpot. 283 00:11:29,224 --> 00:11:31,625 There is an Abed in this hospital school, 284 00:11:31,626 --> 00:11:34,862 but he's not a doctor. 285 00:11:34,863 --> 00:11:36,430 He's a patient. 286 00:11:36,431 --> 00:11:38,532 - Notify security! - Conductor! 287 00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:39,867 Jeff, take me to Abed. 288 00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:41,102 Where is that? 289 00:11:41,103 --> 00:11:43,871 Enough games, just take me where I wanna go. 290 00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:45,461 Follow me. 291 00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:47,708 Are we close? 292 00:11:47,709 --> 00:11:50,110 Almost there, although you should probably run in place 293 00:11:50,111 --> 00:11:53,046 and let the hall move around you. 294 00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,653 - Here we are. - Where? 295 00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:02,454 Where you wanted to go. 296 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,591 The last night of school, first year. 297 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,426 The night we kissed. 298 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,896 Ababed wasn't there, so whose memory is this? 299 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,198 Maybe it's yours. 300 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,600 Maybe the Dreamatorium really works. 301 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,735 Or maybe Leonard was watching from the bushes 302 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,469 and told Abed about it. 303 00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:20,939 I don't have cable. 304 00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,673 Knock it off, Abed. 305 00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:23,742 I'm not Abed. 306 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,377 You're confused, so was I. 307 00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:27,879 But not anymore. 308 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,514 Jeff... Abed, stop! 309 00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:31,716 I don't wanna do this. 310 00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:34,885 I want to talk to Abed. 311 00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:38,922 I'm taking the file. 312 00:12:38,923 --> 00:12:42,559 Oh, it says Abed is in the recovery parlor. 313 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,229 Condition... never better. 314 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:48,465 You're not holding anything. 315 00:12:48,466 --> 00:12:51,433 This is the file. 316 00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:54,971 Abed Nadir, psychiatric patient 1373, 317 00:12:54,972 --> 00:12:57,073 control freak with no empathy. 318 00:12:57,074 --> 00:13:00,709 People bend over backwards to cater to him. 319 00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:05,180 Signed, healthcare administrator Annie Edison. 320 00:13:05,181 --> 00:13:07,415 That's out of context. 321 00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:08,583 Shh. 322 00:13:08,584 --> 00:13:10,585 You've thought of everything, Annie. 323 00:13:10,586 --> 00:13:13,221 With Abed gone and Troy and Britta together, 324 00:13:13,222 --> 00:13:15,123 there's nothing standing in the way of us. 325 00:13:15,124 --> 00:13:16,324 Wait, what? 326 00:13:16,325 --> 00:13:17,592 Come on. 327 00:13:17,593 --> 00:13:18,660 This is you dream. 328 00:13:18,661 --> 00:13:21,595 This is why you played matchmaker. 329 00:13:21,596 --> 00:13:24,231 This is what's important to you. 330 00:13:24,232 --> 00:13:26,700 You are not Jeff. 331 00:13:26,701 --> 00:13:29,703 Because Jeff cares about Abed. 332 00:13:29,704 --> 00:13:31,338 And I did not push Troy and Britta together 333 00:13:31,339 --> 00:13:32,606 so this would happen. 334 00:13:32,607 --> 00:13:34,275 I did it because I thought they were cute together 335 00:13:34,276 --> 00:13:36,277 and this would have been a bonus. 336 00:13:36,278 --> 00:13:38,178 And we are not here. 337 00:13:38,179 --> 00:13:41,580 And I'm not staying here because I hate whoever you are. 338 00:13:41,581 --> 00:13:43,582 You should probably storm off in... 339 00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:44,984 Oh! 340 00:13:45,653 --> 00:13:47,588 In place. 341 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,435 Where do you wanna go next? 342 00:13:57,867 --> 00:13:59,682 I wanna be alone. 343 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,572 Sounds good to me. 344 00:14:01,573 --> 00:14:04,508 Execute simulation, Annie/Annie. 345 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:08,442 There. 346 00:14:08,555 --> 00:14:09,922 Now we're alone. 347 00:14:10,553 --> 00:14:12,527 Great, so you're me now. 348 00:14:12,673 --> 00:14:14,917 Why are you blowing our magic moment with Jeff? 349 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,070 It's not magic. 350 00:14:16,084 --> 00:14:17,217 It's not even real. 351 00:14:17,343 --> 00:14:19,845 But we love Jeff. 352 00:14:19,846 --> 00:14:22,581 No, we don't. 353 00:14:22,582 --> 00:14:25,750 We're just in love with the idea of being loved. 354 00:14:25,751 --> 00:14:27,565 And if we can teach a guy like Jeff to do it, 355 00:14:27,595 --> 00:14:28,889 we'll never be unloved. 356 00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:32,358 So we keep running the same scenario over and over 357 00:14:32,424 --> 00:14:33,702 hoping for a different result. 358 00:14:33,745 --> 00:14:35,445 Running scenarios. 359 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:36,788 Careful now. 360 00:14:36,896 --> 00:14:39,646 You're starting to sound like Abed. 361 00:14:40,077 --> 00:14:43,846 So... I probably shouldn't say things like "Star Wars. 362 00:14:43,935 --> 00:14:46,436 Zardoz, Cougar Town, cool, cool, cool." 363 00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:48,072 - Stop it. - Pop culture, pop culture. 364 00:14:48,073 --> 00:14:51,075 - I'm on a TV show. - You're gonna get in trouble. 365 00:14:51,076 --> 00:14:52,843 Meta, meta. 366 00:14:52,844 --> 00:14:54,044 It's Abed! 367 00:14:54,045 --> 00:14:55,612 I got an Abed here! 368 00:14:55,613 --> 00:14:56,846 Get him! 369 00:14:56,847 --> 00:14:57,847 That's it. 370 00:14:57,848 --> 00:14:59,448 I find you guilty of being Abed. 371 00:14:59,449 --> 00:15:00,883 You're under arrest! 372 00:15:00,884 --> 00:15:02,151 Can I just interject and say 373 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:05,088 I don't know what the hell's going on? 374 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,929 This time you'll never get out. 375 00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:15,864 Abed? 376 00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:19,601 Abed. 377 00:15:19,602 --> 00:15:20,836 Yeah. 378 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,470 I found you by turning into you, how cool is that? 379 00:15:22,471 --> 00:15:24,072 Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 380 00:15:24,073 --> 00:15:25,673 Tell me where we are so I can pretend to see it. 381 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,342 We're inside a locker. 382 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:30,277 It's where I spent a lot of time in junior high. 383 00:15:30,278 --> 00:15:31,812 You think this is where we'd put you? 384 00:15:31,813 --> 00:15:34,581 - You know that's absurd, right? - Well, I'm not stupid. 385 00:15:34,582 --> 00:15:36,751 You can see I've increased the square footage. 386 00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:38,418 It's a metaphorical locker. 387 00:15:38,419 --> 00:15:39,686 It's a place where people like me get put 388 00:15:39,687 --> 00:15:41,021 when everyone's finally fed up with us. 389 00:15:41,022 --> 00:15:44,157 Abed, so maudlin. 390 00:15:44,158 --> 00:15:45,927 If you start turning into a vampire... 391 00:15:45,953 --> 00:15:47,119 I've run the simulations, Annie. 392 00:15:47,158 --> 00:15:48,242 I don't get married, I don't invent 393 00:15:48,254 --> 00:15:50,003 a billion dollar website that helps people have sex. 394 00:15:50,039 --> 00:15:52,273 I don't make in into Sundance, Slamdance or Dance Pants. 395 00:15:52,399 --> 00:15:54,333 Troy invents Dance Pants in 2019. 396 00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:55,835 Don't tell him, he needs to stumble onto it. 397 00:15:55,836 --> 00:15:57,036 All right, listen. 398 00:15:57,037 --> 00:15:58,604 The scenarios you run in here 399 00:15:58,605 --> 00:16:02,007 are like... great science fiction. 400 00:16:02,008 --> 00:16:05,644 They're impressive and detailed and insightful, 401 00:16:05,645 --> 00:16:07,813 but they're not accurate for crap. 402 00:16:07,814 --> 00:16:09,614 Science fiction never has been. 403 00:16:09,615 --> 00:16:11,116 Look at 2001. 404 00:16:11,117 --> 00:16:12,918 Did we have a space odyssey? 405 00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:15,254 No, we got snowboarding in the Olympics 406 00:16:15,255 --> 00:16:16,888 and we over-validated Carson Daily. 407 00:16:16,889 --> 00:16:19,257 - That poor guy. - Yeah, cry me a river. 408 00:16:19,258 --> 00:16:20,825 My point is, your simulations 409 00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,726 are nothing more than anxieties. 410 00:16:22,727 --> 00:16:24,195 You're afraid you don't fit in. 411 00:16:24,196 --> 00:16:25,797 You're afraid you'll be alone. 412 00:16:25,798 --> 00:16:28,666 Great news... you share that with all of us, 413 00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:32,202 so you'll never be alone and you'll always fit in. 414 00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:35,272 And, yes, that's why I meddled with Troy and Britta. 415 00:16:35,273 --> 00:16:36,273 You caught me. 416 00:16:36,274 --> 00:16:37,707 I was trying to make life go 417 00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:39,075 according to some script. 418 00:16:39,076 --> 00:16:40,610 I can't. 419 00:16:40,611 --> 00:16:42,612 You can't. 420 00:16:42,613 --> 00:16:45,882 We both need to get more comfortable winging it. 421 00:16:45,883 --> 00:16:47,350 At least it'll be less work. 422 00:16:47,351 --> 00:16:48,784 It would cut down my Dreamatorium time 423 00:16:48,785 --> 00:16:50,186 by 18 hours a week. 424 00:16:50,187 --> 00:16:51,187 I could take up yoga. 425 00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:53,088 You've got the body type. 426 00:16:53,089 --> 00:16:54,924 Now let's get you out of here. 427 00:16:54,925 --> 00:16:56,158 I don't know how. 428 00:16:56,159 --> 00:16:57,893 These fake shackles don't have a fake key. 429 00:16:57,894 --> 00:17:00,896 Isn't that what a... quantum spanner's for? 430 00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:03,432 Technically, no. 431 00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:06,534 But that's fine. 432 00:17:11,173 --> 00:17:13,274 So should we get back to lunch? 433 00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:14,275 I guess so. 434 00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:15,276 A little more anticlimactic 435 00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:16,277 than I would have simulated it, 436 00:17:16,278 --> 00:17:19,080 - but whatever. - Anticlimactic? 437 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,048 Render environment observo-deck, 438 00:17:21,049 --> 00:17:25,552 H.M.S. Spacetime 12. 439 00:17:25,553 --> 00:17:28,788 Inspector, set the tachyon drive to hyperjump. 440 00:17:28,789 --> 00:17:30,790 We must get to the other side of this star field 441 00:17:30,791 --> 00:17:33,526 before the Blorgons intercept. 442 00:17:33,527 --> 00:17:35,795 Blorgons in this sector? 443 00:17:35,796 --> 00:17:38,397 Well, this mission has gone pear-shaped, indeed. 444 00:17:38,398 --> 00:17:40,566 Prepare to hyperjump on my mark. 445 00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,935 Bugger the dovecoats, inspector. 446 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,737 We're too late! Blorgons! 447 00:17:44,738 --> 00:17:47,306 Eradicate! Eradicate! 448 00:17:47,307 --> 00:17:50,910 Our quantum blasters are useless against their armor. 449 00:17:50,911 --> 00:17:53,278 We're as cooked as Lord Nelson's mutton, we are. 450 00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:54,812 Not if I can help it. 451 00:17:54,813 --> 00:17:59,284 I'll see you on the other side inspector... Wherever that is. 452 00:17:59,285 --> 00:18:02,653 Don't you mean "whenever that is"? 453 00:18:05,992 --> 00:18:08,058 Take that, Blorgon scum! 454 00:18:08,059 --> 00:18:11,195 You'll blo-gon me for this later. 455 00:18:11,196 --> 00:18:12,796 Ow, Annie! 456 00:18:12,797 --> 00:18:14,198 Oh, oh, my God! 457 00:18:14,199 --> 00:18:16,300 Abed, I'm so sorry. 458 00:18:16,301 --> 00:18:17,701 No, no, you're committing. 459 00:18:17,702 --> 00:18:18,869 This is good stuff. 460 00:18:18,870 --> 00:18:21,471 Thanks. 461 00:18:21,472 --> 00:18:23,607 I am Abed Nadir... 462 00:18:23,608 --> 00:18:25,775 And I don't know a lot of things everyone else knows. 463 00:18:25,776 --> 00:18:27,810 I wander the universe with my friend, Troy, 464 00:18:27,811 --> 00:18:29,312 doing whatever I want. 465 00:18:29,313 --> 00:18:32,715 Sometimes accidentally hurting innocent unremarkables. 466 00:18:32,716 --> 00:18:36,152 This week, however, Troy went to lunch and I adapted. 467 00:18:36,153 --> 00:18:39,222 I now have the ability to enter the minds of others. 468 00:18:39,223 --> 00:18:41,423 - I'm hungry, are you hungry? - Yeah. 469 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:42,991 I'll make us buttered noodles. 470 00:18:42,992 --> 00:18:46,428 Using an elusive new technique known as "empathy". 471 00:18:47,789 --> 00:18:50,152 So was the other fast food place worth the drive, Shirley? 472 00:18:50,233 --> 00:18:52,302 You know, half way there I thought, "What am I doing? 473 00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:54,462 It's the same fast food place in a different location. 474 00:18:54,503 --> 00:18:56,849 Have the margins of my life become so narrow?" 475 00:18:56,915 --> 00:18:58,615 So I went to the mall and had pizza. 476 00:18:59,651 --> 00:19:02,520 Sounds like this has been a game-changing day for all of us. 477 00:19:03,177 --> 00:19:04,945 I almost sat on my balls, 478 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:08,410 but at the last second, I made an adjustment. 479 00:19:08,462 --> 00:19:10,363 - Good job! - Good work. 480 00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:11,321 Good job, man. 481 00:19:11,355 --> 00:19:13,052 Well, we had a good lunch, too. 482 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,521 Yeah. 483 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,090 I spoke to the manager about Die Hard, 484 00:19:17,091 --> 00:19:18,658 and I told him he should be ashamed of himself. 485 00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,026 Thanks. 486 00:19:20,027 --> 00:19:22,162 Sorry I bailed on the Dreamatorium. 487 00:19:22,163 --> 00:19:26,166 It's okay, Annie did pretty good in a pinch. 488 00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:29,634 All right, back to cramming? 489 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:32,871 The people at the bank loved my outfit. 490 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,240 And they had all kinds of questions about it 491 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,741 and my answers seemed to amuse 492 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:39,378 and... and even liberate them a little. 493 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,946 A few of us went to lunch 494 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:44,915 and I had the deepest conversation of my life. 495 00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:48,886 I gotta go, I'm telling everybody. 496 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,489 Hmm, maybe after a long, dark night, 497 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,091 the sun is starting to rise on Greendale. 498 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:56,094 Maybe. Maybe not. 499 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,762 You never can tell what kind of day you're gonna have. 500 00:19:58,763 --> 00:20:00,697 Okay, I didn't really avoid sitting on them. 501 00:20:00,698 --> 00:20:02,532 I sat right on them. 502 00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:04,101 - Oh. - Aw. 503 00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,402 - I'm sorry. - Pierce, I'm sorry. 504 00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:06,703 Hurt like hell. 505 00:20:06,704 --> 00:20:08,638 I saw eagles. 506 00:20:11,486 --> 00:20:13,581 ♪ Troy and Abed in the morning ♪ 507 00:20:13,582 --> 00:20:14,983 Today we're joined by Annie Edison... 508 00:20:14,984 --> 00:20:16,250 - Hi! - Who's gonna show us how 509 00:20:16,251 --> 00:20:17,685 to spruce up your apartment on a budget. 510 00:20:17,686 --> 00:20:19,087 So, Annie, what inspired this throw? 511 00:20:19,088 --> 00:20:21,522 Well, I just thought that I'd cover up the stain 512 00:20:21,523 --> 00:20:23,690 where Abed spilled code red on the couch last week. 513 00:20:23,691 --> 00:20:25,025 Oops. Crafty. 514 00:20:25,026 --> 00:20:26,627 And you have some tips on entertaining. 515 00:20:26,628 --> 00:20:28,461 Yes, if you're expecting company, 516 00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:30,764 but you don't have enough chairs, you can bring out 517 00:20:30,765 --> 00:20:33,366 pillows from your bedroom and use them on the floor 518 00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:34,801 for a Moroccan feel. 519 00:20:34,802 --> 00:20:36,903 - Ooh, a taste of the Orient. - Ooh! 520 00:20:36,904 --> 00:20:39,571 Actually, boys, I have a little surprise for you. 521 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,606 - Uh-oh. - While you two were out 522 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,774 playing blazer tag... 523 00:20:41,775 --> 00:20:43,542 That's laser tag with sport coats. 524 00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:47,146 I did a little extreme bedroom makeover! 525 00:20:47,147 --> 00:20:50,482 I unbunked your beds and got scrap fabric and... 526 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:53,385 It's okay, buddy. 527 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,385 We can put it back. 528 00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:55,586 We can put it back the way it was. 529 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:56,855 - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. 530 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,457 It's... cut, Garrett. 531 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,759 Sorry!