1
00:00:05,190 --> 00:00:08,426
Wow. They found a way to make
the human being even creepier.
2
00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:09,794
Covering him in icicles.
3
00:00:09,812 --> 00:00:11,229
I think it's festive.
4
00:00:11,263 --> 00:00:12,814
Yeah, my favorite
Christmas tradition
5
00:00:12,848 --> 00:00:14,432
is trimming the hellraiser.
6
00:00:14,466 --> 00:00:16,284
Guys, I found something
we can watch together
7
00:00:16,318 --> 00:00:17,852
for Christmas this year.
8
00:00:17,903 --> 00:00:21,372
The long-lost 1981 Inspector
Spacetime Holiday Special.
9
00:00:21,407 --> 00:00:23,708
Run time two and half hours
and so critically reviled
10
00:00:23,742 --> 00:00:26,227
that after it aired, the creator
has his knighthood revoked.
11
00:00:26,261 --> 00:00:27,712
That sounds terrible.
12
00:00:27,746 --> 00:00:29,347
I want to watch it twice,
13
00:00:29,381 --> 00:00:31,349
but I'm spending Christmas
with my relatives.
14
00:00:31,383 --> 00:00:34,218
Or rather, I'm spending
the day with my relatives
15
00:00:34,253 --> 00:00:35,870
while they refuse
to acknowledge Christmas.
16
00:00:35,921 --> 00:00:38,656
You Jehovah's Witnesses--
so severe.
17
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,658
Andre and I will be spending
Christmas giving gifts
18
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,593
to the more persuadable
of our Jewish friends.
19
00:00:42,628 --> 00:00:45,046
I wouldn't call an unannounced
visit from your pastor "a gift."
20
00:00:45,097 --> 00:00:46,497
And don't bother this year.
21
00:00:46,515 --> 00:00:48,049
I'll be at the movies
with my bubbe.
22
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:50,568
You're not taking both of them?
23
00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,570
Well, one's dead.
24
00:00:52,604 --> 00:00:53,888
- What?
- I was looking forward
25
00:00:53,939 --> 00:00:55,690
to hanging out with you guys
this Christmas.
26
00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:57,809
This semester has been so long
and dark and angry.
27
00:00:57,843 --> 00:00:58,843
I was thinking we could have
28
00:00:58,877 --> 00:01:00,144
some light-hearted fun
as a family.
29
00:01:00,179 --> 00:01:01,312
I think what we've learned,
Abed,
30
00:01:01,346 --> 00:01:03,614
is that attempts to make
the holidays brighter
31
00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:05,283
tend to give them
a certain darkness.
32
00:01:05,317 --> 00:01:06,818
Oh, I don't know
if I agree with that.
33
00:01:06,852 --> 00:01:08,953
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
34
00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:09,954
Actually, maybe I do.
35
00:01:09,988 --> 00:01:11,823
Heads up.
Glee club.
36
00:01:11,857 --> 00:01:13,691
♪ 'tis the season
to be jolly ♪
37
00:01:13,709 --> 00:01:15,960
♪ fa la la la la
la la rock on! ♪
38
00:01:15,994 --> 00:01:17,962
Merry Christmas, Greendale.
39
00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:19,831
Glee club here, reminding you
40
00:01:19,865 --> 00:01:22,383
that our Christmas pageant
is coming.
41
00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:24,735
Next stop, regionals!
44
00:01:27,506 --> 00:01:29,807
♪ I said deck ♪
45
00:01:29,842 --> 00:01:31,809
Please tell me we were
not this obnoxious
46
00:01:31,844 --> 00:01:33,010
the year we filled in for them.
47
00:01:33,045 --> 00:01:34,912
T-minus five seconds
till hip-hop remix.
48
00:01:34,947 --> 00:01:36,397
Four, three.
49
00:01:36,431 --> 00:01:38,933
Come on!
Re-re-re-remix!
50
00:01:38,984 --> 00:01:40,885
Re-re-re-remix!
51
00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:41,986
♪ Fa la la la la
f-a l-a ♪
52
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:42,987
♪ come on whoo ♪
53
00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:44,388
You're awfully quiet, Jeff.
54
00:01:44,423 --> 00:01:46,390
Nobody hates glee club
more than you.
55
00:01:46,425 --> 00:01:48,743
Today I'm just content
to sit back and enjoy the show.
56
00:01:48,777 --> 00:01:50,728
And now
our pop music mash-up!
57
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,396
Elton Lil' John Lennon!
58
00:01:52,414 --> 00:01:53,397
Kick it!
59
00:01:53,415 --> 00:01:54,999
Hey, tiny dancer!
60
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,250
Okay!
61
00:01:56,285 --> 00:01:57,502
Stop!
62
00:01:57,536 --> 00:02:01,339
Cease and desist.
63
00:02:01,373 --> 00:02:03,374
Glee club, meet ASCAP,
64
00:02:03,408 --> 00:02:06,511
protecting musical copyrights
since 1914.
65
00:02:06,545 --> 00:02:07,845
It appears they have received
an anonymous tip
66
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,131
that unlicensed material
was being performed here
67
00:02:10,182 --> 00:02:11,682
without the artists' permission.
68
00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:13,267
Merry Christmas, everyone.
69
00:02:13,302 --> 00:02:15,353
Glee club
just became history club.
70
00:02:25,931 --> 00:02:27,398
My soul is dead!
71
00:02:27,432 --> 00:02:28,966
Oh!
72
00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:31,536
Okay, if anyone asks,
we were never here.
73
00:02:34,439 --> 00:02:35,940
Why?
74
00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:39,961
♪ Give me some rope,
time in a tree ♪
75
00:02:39,995 --> 00:02:43,164
♪ give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪
76
00:02:43,215 --> 00:02:46,551
♪ somebody said
we could be here ♪
77
00:02:46,585 --> 00:02:50,504
♪ we could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
78
00:02:50,556 --> 00:02:55,560
♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
79
00:02:55,594 --> 00:03:00,077
♪ one by one they all
just fade away ♪
80
00:03:00,078 --> 00:03:02,578
Sync by Sp8ky, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com
81
00:03:02,684 --> 00:03:04,869
The glee club
is at Westside Hospital,
82
00:03:04,903 --> 00:03:08,205
recuperating from
a collective nervous breakdown.
83
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,776
This is the second glee club
we've lost in two years.
84
00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:14,311
We might have to cancel
the Christmas pageant.
85
00:03:14,329 --> 00:03:17,164
And to think they were
this close to regionals.
86
00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:18,215
What the hell are regionals?
87
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,668
They're this close, Pierce.
88
00:03:20,702 --> 00:03:23,654
Anyway, an old friend
wants to talk to you.
89
00:03:23,672 --> 00:03:25,890
Your favorite
glee club instructor,
90
00:03:25,924 --> 00:03:29,877
the dreamy and boyish
Mr. Cory Radison!
91
00:03:29,928 --> 00:03:31,762
Oh!
92
00:03:31,797 --> 00:03:34,382
Uh, I thought I told you
to call me Mr. Rad.
93
00:03:34,433 --> 00:03:35,566
Or Cory.
94
00:03:35,601 --> 00:03:37,018
Just don't call me
"late to dinner."
95
00:03:37,052 --> 00:03:38,552
Unless you're serving
brussels sprouts!
96
00:03:38,604 --> 00:03:41,689
I won't, I promise!
97
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:44,141
This guy's like human froyo.
98
00:03:44,176 --> 00:03:46,978
Look, when the last glee club
died in that bus crash,
99
00:03:47,012 --> 00:03:48,346
you guys stepped up.
100
00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:50,865
And you were the best gosh darn
emergency substitutes
101
00:03:50,899 --> 00:03:51,866
I've ever worked with.
102
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:53,401
- Aw!
- Well, this time...
103
00:03:53,452 --> 00:03:56,404
I'm not gonna kid you.
I won't be easy.
104
00:03:56,455 --> 00:03:57,755
- Oh!
- Your best...
105
00:03:57,789 --> 00:03:59,590
Won't be good enough.
106
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:02,059
And ten times your best
will be so bad,
107
00:04:02,094 --> 00:04:04,128
I will yell at you.
108
00:04:04,162 --> 00:04:06,964
But I promise,
if we dig down--
109
00:04:06,999 --> 00:04:08,966
- Pass.
- Yeah.
110
00:04:09,001 --> 00:04:12,303
Okay.
111
00:04:12,337 --> 00:04:14,605
Whew.
112
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,608
Don't you hurt him.
113
00:04:17,643 --> 00:04:18,976
Mr. Rad!
114
00:04:19,011 --> 00:04:21,095
I feel like we let
Mr. Rad down.
115
00:04:21,146 --> 00:04:23,114
No, he let himself down
when he left the house
116
00:04:23,148 --> 00:04:24,682
this morning
wearing a sweater-vest.
117
00:04:24,716 --> 00:04:26,434
I guess we did have fun
last time.
118
00:04:26,485 --> 00:04:28,319
Did we?
I can hardly remember.
119
00:04:28,353 --> 00:04:30,237
It's all a weird, happy,
musical fog.
120
00:04:30,272 --> 00:04:32,123
Yeah, it was almost
like being on ecstasy,
121
00:04:32,157 --> 00:04:34,191
only instead of having
pointless conversations
122
00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:36,277
and dancing like idiots--
wait.
123
00:04:36,328 --> 00:04:38,779
It was exactly
like being on ecstasy!
124
00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:39,964
That's what worries me
about this guy.
125
00:04:39,998 --> 00:04:42,283
He is equal parts hanson
and manson.
126
00:04:42,334 --> 00:04:45,269
Nobody let him corner you until
he is out of recruitment mode,
127
00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:46,704
or next thing you know,
128
00:04:46,738 --> 00:04:49,440
we'll all be caring
about Christmas pageants and...
129
00:04:49,474 --> 00:04:50,424
Regionals.
130
00:04:50,459 --> 00:04:51,459
- You're right, deal.
- Ugh.
131
00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:52,460
- Agreed.
- Got you.
132
00:04:52,511 --> 00:04:54,178
What the hell are regionals?
133
00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:05,022
What are you still doing here?
134
00:05:05,057 --> 00:05:06,891
I thought I'd give her
one more tinkle
135
00:05:06,925 --> 00:05:09,060
before I took down decorations.
136
00:05:09,094 --> 00:05:11,762
No glee club means no pageant,
means no Christmas.
137
00:05:11,797 --> 00:05:13,130
I'm sure trying
to make things brighter
138
00:05:13,165 --> 00:05:15,066
just would've made
more darkness.
139
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:18,502
That sounds like
a certain ex-lawyer talking.
140
00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:20,871
I see a lot of myself in you,
Abed.
141
00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,773
You care about your friends,
and you wish they cared
142
00:05:22,808 --> 00:05:24,208
more about each other.
143
00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:26,494
That's not an easy position
to be in sometimes.
144
00:05:26,545 --> 00:05:27,578
I just want my friends and I
145
00:05:27,612 --> 00:05:28,779
to have
a merry Christmas together.
146
00:05:28,814 --> 00:05:30,314
Well, maybe you could start
147
00:05:30,348 --> 00:05:33,050
by giving them the greatest
Christmas gift of all.
148
00:05:33,085 --> 00:05:34,485
What's that?
149
00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:35,619
Glee!
150
00:05:35,654 --> 00:05:37,788
♪ It's a feeling you get ♪
151
00:05:37,823 --> 00:05:41,058
♪ when your brain finally lets
your heart get in its pants ♪
152
00:05:41,093 --> 00:05:42,259
♪ Glee! ♪
153
00:05:42,294 --> 00:05:43,561
♪It's like a drug
that you use ♪
154
00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:45,146
♪ that turns pain into shoes ♪
155
00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,264
♪ and your shoes into dance ♪
156
00:05:47,298 --> 00:05:50,317
♪ How's your piano
still playing this song? ♪
157
00:05:50,352 --> 00:05:51,602
♪ Glee is the answer ♪
158
00:05:51,636 --> 00:05:53,537
♪ when questions are wrong ♪
159
00:05:53,572 --> 00:05:56,357
♪ you'll understand
if you just sing along ♪
160
00:05:56,408 --> 00:05:57,858
♪ 'cause glee is the gift ♪
161
00:05:57,909 --> 00:06:01,328
♪ that you need ♪
162
00:06:01,363 --> 00:06:03,998
♪ Glee is what I'll spread
to my friends ♪
163
00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:08,119
♪ like a virus that sends them
to a healthier place ♪
164
00:06:08,153 --> 00:06:10,371
♪ Glee!
I'll understand every scene ♪
165
00:06:10,422 --> 00:06:12,256
♪ because they'll sing
what they mean ♪
166
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:13,924
♪ instead of making a face ♪
167
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:17,327
♪ families are closer
when families are winning ♪
168
00:06:17,345 --> 00:06:20,347
♪ everything's cooler
when cameras are spinning ♪
169
00:06:20,382 --> 00:06:22,566
♪ singing and dancing
in unison... ♪
170
00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:23,717
♪ in-inning ♪
171
00:06:23,769 --> 00:06:26,020
♪ glee is the gift ♪
172
00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:28,572
♪ that we need ♪
173
00:06:28,607 --> 00:06:30,541
Glee!
174
00:06:30,575 --> 00:06:32,109
Thank you, Mr. Rad.
175
00:06:32,144 --> 00:06:33,577
Don't break down the set yet.
176
00:06:33,612 --> 00:06:37,398
I'm gonna try to get my friends
to be in the Christmas pageant.
177
00:06:37,449 --> 00:06:41,719
Thank you, Abed!
178
00:06:41,753 --> 00:06:43,254
Thank you.
179
00:06:51,126 --> 00:06:52,176
Merry Christmas, Troy.
180
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,928
Abed, you look gleeful.
181
00:06:53,962 --> 00:06:55,596
Troy, don't you think
it might actually be fun,
182
00:06:55,630 --> 00:06:57,131
doing this Christmas pageant
for the glee club?
183
00:06:57,165 --> 00:06:59,400
Abed, we hate the glee club.
184
00:06:59,434 --> 00:07:00,835
Yeah.
185
00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:02,236
I guess I just like
liking things.
186
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:05,139
Abed.
187
00:07:05,173 --> 00:07:08,726
Look, you know I'd do anything
you did, but...
188
00:07:08,777 --> 00:07:10,277
I'm a Jehovah's Witness.
189
00:07:10,312 --> 00:07:11,779
We're not supposed
to celebrate Christmas.
190
00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:14,048
I've been thinking about that.
191
00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:15,900
I may have a loophole.
192
00:07:15,951 --> 00:07:17,451
What if you were
a Jehovah's Witness
193
00:07:17,485 --> 00:07:19,904
that was merely pretending
to be into Christmas,
194
00:07:19,955 --> 00:07:21,322
gathering clues and blending in
195
00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:23,023
to take down the holidays
from within?
196
00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:25,359
You mean like a spy
investigating,
197
00:07:25,393 --> 00:07:26,961
making it seem
like I'm celebrating,
198
00:07:26,995 --> 00:07:30,297
when actually I'm infiltrating
Santa's operation?
199
00:07:30,332 --> 00:07:31,298
- Yoip!
- ♪ Going deep cover ♪
200
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:32,716
♪ past enemy lines ♪
201
00:07:32,751 --> 00:07:34,385
♪ making everybody think
I'm on the Christmas side ♪
202
00:07:34,419 --> 00:07:36,403
♪ rocking warm sweaters,
hanging big-ass lights ♪
203
00:07:36,438 --> 00:07:38,305
♪ if the fat man can see me,
yo it's gotta look right ♪
204
00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:39,924
♪ I'll watch all the tv specials
that I never could ♪
205
00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:42,042
♪ I'll even cry during the sad
ones, like James Bond would ♪
206
00:07:42,077 --> 00:07:43,844
♪ and when the big night comes,
it's time to set the bait ♪
207
00:07:43,878 --> 00:07:45,729
♪ cold milk, hot cookies ♪
♪ decorative plate ♪
208
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:46,814
♪ and he'll come down
the chim-in-ey ♪
209
00:07:46,848 --> 00:07:48,048
♪ and it will be
just him and me ♪
210
00:07:48,066 --> 00:07:49,383
♪ but he won't know
we're enemies ♪
211
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:50,601
♪ 'cause I'll play sincere,
spring a trap ♪
212
00:07:50,652 --> 00:07:51,902
♪ like that, hug him tight,
get on his lap ♪
213
00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:53,387
♪ and tell him he can
come back every year ♪
214
00:07:53,421 --> 00:07:55,072
♪ 'cause I am Jehovah's
most secret witness ♪
215
00:07:55,106 --> 00:07:56,941
♪ so I might have to dedicate
my life to Christmas ♪
216
00:07:56,992 --> 00:08:00,427
♪ and act just like I love it
till the day I die ♪
217
00:08:00,462 --> 00:08:02,613
♪ A-b-e-d
connoisseur of Christmas ♪
218
00:08:02,664 --> 00:08:04,698
♪ on the spectrum,
none of your business ♪
219
00:08:04,732 --> 00:08:06,333
♪ talks to fast to comprehend ♪
220
00:08:06,368 --> 00:08:07,868
♪ just wanna do right
by my friend ♪
221
00:08:07,903 --> 00:08:10,237
♪ if years were seasons,
this December ♪
222
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:12,239
♪ would be the December
of our December ♪
223
00:08:12,257 --> 00:08:13,907
♪ more blueprints
than Howard Hughes ♪
224
00:08:13,925 --> 00:08:15,876
♪ but if they are blue prints,
how do we choose? ♪
225
00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:17,444
♪ we have to be happy
to get to the end ♪
226
00:08:17,479 --> 00:08:19,546
♪ we have to save Christmas
to save our friends ♪
227
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:21,448
♪ we have to save
Christmas to save our friends ♪
228
00:08:21,483 --> 00:08:24,018
♪ we have to save Christmas
to save our friends ♪
229
00:08:24,052 --> 00:08:25,919
Hey, guys.
230
00:08:25,937 --> 00:08:27,154
Rapping?
231
00:08:27,188 --> 00:08:30,491
- Yep, wanna join us?
- Totally!
232
00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:33,093
Wait, you guys never
let me rap with you.
233
00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:34,228
Well, we're gonna need
all hands on deck
234
00:08:34,262 --> 00:08:37,231
if we're gonna go to regionals.
235
00:08:37,265 --> 00:08:38,732
Cool.
236
00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:40,668
I just need to...
Study...
237
00:08:40,702 --> 00:08:42,469
Though...In my room.
238
00:08:42,504 --> 00:08:43,904
So have fun!
239
00:08:43,938 --> 00:08:45,572
And then, this morning,
240
00:08:45,606 --> 00:08:46,740
I could hear them
in the bathroom,
241
00:08:46,774 --> 00:08:48,842
doing
country Western mash-ups.
242
00:08:48,877 --> 00:08:50,644
And they won't stop talking
about regionals!
243
00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:51,912
Maybe it's nothing.
244
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,247
Yeah, if "nothing"
wears a sweater-vest
245
00:08:53,281 --> 00:08:54,798
and seems aggressively asexual.
246
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:57,451
Come on, let's all study
for our biology final
247
00:08:57,485 --> 00:08:59,169
in our old--
248
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:01,188
Where's our table?
249
00:09:01,222 --> 00:09:03,991
Who's that guy?
250
00:09:04,025 --> 00:09:05,893
You guys all see him too,
right?
251
00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:07,478
- Hey, guys.
- Merry Christmas, y'all.
252
00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:09,146
Sorry about the rearrangement.
253
00:09:09,197 --> 00:09:10,898
We need this space to rehearse
for the pageant.
254
00:09:10,932 --> 00:09:12,766
But we're not doing
the pageant.
255
00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:14,535
Look, guys,
I hear your negativity,
256
00:09:14,569 --> 00:09:16,303
but also,
can I counter with this?
257
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,105
Who hates glee?
258
00:09:18,139 --> 00:09:19,907
Listen to how that sounds.
259
00:09:19,941 --> 00:09:22,276
Glee literally
means "glee."
260
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:23,577
Oh, stop it!
261
00:09:23,611 --> 00:09:25,496
Not liking glee club
doesn't make us bullies,
262
00:09:25,547 --> 00:09:27,648
and implying that
is reverse bullying.
263
00:09:27,682 --> 00:09:29,016
Good point.
Sing about it?
264
00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:30,017
No!
265
00:09:30,051 --> 00:09:32,353
I understand them,
but you, Pierce?
266
00:09:32,387 --> 00:09:33,854
Your generation invented music!
267
00:09:33,888 --> 00:09:36,724
I don't know
about "invented."
268
00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:38,792
Perfected, maybe.
Pierce!
269
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:40,661
They're just trying to pander
to your demographics'
270
00:09:40,695 --> 00:09:42,896
well-documented
historical vanity. Resist!
271
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:44,732
Abed,
wasn't Santa Claus himself
272
00:09:44,766 --> 00:09:46,066
part of Pierce's peer group?
273
00:09:46,101 --> 00:09:48,102
I believe so.
274
00:09:48,136 --> 00:09:50,137
One, two,
three, four.
275
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:52,639
♪ Santa Claus
was born in 1945 ♪
276
00:09:52,657 --> 00:09:55,576
♪ He had a boogie woogie
Coca-Cola army jive ♪
277
00:09:55,610 --> 00:09:58,696
♪ and when the commies
gave the polio to Doris Day ♪
278
00:09:58,747 --> 00:10:00,748
♪ Santa helped the Beatles
chase McCarthy away ♪
279
00:10:00,782 --> 00:10:03,751
♪ that baby boomer Santa ♪
280
00:10:03,785 --> 00:10:05,536
♪ he's never gonna die ♪
281
00:10:05,587 --> 00:10:09,506
♪ Santa fought at Woodstock
and Vietnam ♪
282
00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:14,228
♪ and smoked a ton of acid
and burnt his bra ♪
283
00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:18,682
♪ and then in 1970,
he did more drugs ♪
284
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:21,735
♪ and his hair stayed long
and he ♪
285
00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:24,138
♪ grew a mustache ♪
286
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:26,840
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
287
00:10:26,858 --> 00:10:31,228
♪ he's gonna stay
Ali-I-I-ive ♪
288
00:10:31,279 --> 00:10:36,016
♪ Santa invented
Spielberg and microchips ♪
289
00:10:36,034 --> 00:10:40,687
♪ Santa invented
Coca-Cola and aerobics ♪
290
00:10:40,722 --> 00:10:44,024
♪ he made the iron curtain
and the Gremlins 2♪
291
00:10:44,042 --> 00:10:47,244
♪ fake butter and AIDS
and Twin Peaks! ♪
292
00:10:47,295 --> 00:10:49,129
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
293
00:10:49,164 --> 00:10:50,914
♪ thank you for MTV ♪
294
00:10:50,965 --> 00:10:53,967
♪ Ow! Ow! ♪
295
00:10:54,002 --> 00:10:55,552
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
296
00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:57,921
♪ thank you for everything ♪
297
00:10:57,972 --> 00:10:59,673
♪ You're welcome ♪
298
00:10:59,707 --> 00:11:02,810
♪ You're welcome
for everything ♪
299
00:11:02,844 --> 00:11:04,311
♪ in the world ♪
300
00:11:04,345 --> 00:11:05,979
♪ you're welcome ♪
301
00:11:06,014 --> 00:11:09,149
♪ you're welcome
for all that I bring ♪
302
00:11:09,184 --> 00:11:10,751
♪ to the world ♪
303
00:11:10,785 --> 00:11:13,220
♪ I'm baby boomer Santa ♪
304
00:11:13,238 --> 00:11:17,891
♪ I bring the gift
of the world ♪
305
00:11:17,909 --> 00:11:19,827
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
306
00:11:19,861 --> 00:11:24,114
♪ I'm an American pearl ♪
307
00:11:24,165 --> 00:11:26,333
- Pierce is on board.
- That's great!
308
00:11:26,367 --> 00:11:27,734
For the Christmas queen,
I'm hoping
309
00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,069
we can get Shirley or Annie.
310
00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:30,504
They both have
really strong voices
311
00:11:30,538 --> 00:11:32,423
and natural
♪ vibrato. ♪
312
00:11:32,457 --> 00:11:35,142
- There's also Britta.
- Britta's adorable!
313
00:11:35,176 --> 00:11:37,428
So Shirley or Annie
for the Christmas queen.
314
00:11:37,462 --> 00:11:38,762
There's a leaf
on Britta's head.
315
00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:40,514
She's playing a tree!
316
00:11:40,548 --> 00:11:42,983
And it's gonna be so fun!
317
00:11:43,017 --> 00:11:45,719
Mr. Radison, who authorized
you to rearrange our study room,
318
00:11:45,753 --> 00:11:47,187
and who do you think
you are anyway?
319
00:11:47,222 --> 00:11:50,257
I'll tell you.
320
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:52,726
♪ Well ♪
321
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,361
♪ well ♪
322
00:11:54,395 --> 00:11:57,197
♪ well ♪
323
00:11:57,232 --> 00:11:59,099
I'm scared to go
into the study room.
324
00:11:59,134 --> 00:12:00,734
There are so many top hats
in there.
325
00:12:00,768 --> 00:12:02,503
I wish there was a way
we could stop all this.
326
00:12:02,537 --> 00:12:04,905
I mean, I realize the stakes
aren't actually that high,
327
00:12:04,939 --> 00:12:06,807
but somehow, that just
makes it extra scary.
328
00:12:06,841 --> 00:12:07,991
I know.
329
00:12:08,042 --> 00:12:10,627
Jeff, I think I know
what Mr. Rad is up to.
330
00:12:10,662 --> 00:12:14,164
There's something
you have to see.
331
00:12:14,215 --> 00:12:16,583
Mr. Rad plans to get
every single member
332
00:12:16,618 --> 00:12:18,385
of our study group
to join the glee club.
333
00:12:18,419 --> 00:12:20,454
Well, I don't know how
he thinks that's gonna happen.
334
00:12:20,488 --> 00:12:22,840
I'll show you.
335
00:12:22,891 --> 00:12:24,191
Wha--?
336
00:12:24,225 --> 00:12:26,460
This is just one
of the many costume changes
337
00:12:26,494 --> 00:12:28,128
I'll be doing during the show.
338
00:12:28,163 --> 00:12:31,064
We're a shoo-in for regionals,
right?
339
00:12:31,099 --> 00:12:32,166
Annie, you too?
340
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,150
This is beneath you.
341
00:12:33,184 --> 00:12:34,968
You are an intelligent woman.
342
00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:36,770
Also, you're Jewish!
343
00:12:36,804 --> 00:12:38,305
I guess
I have a lot to learn
344
00:12:38,339 --> 00:12:40,407
about holiday tradition.
345
00:12:44,579 --> 00:12:48,749
♪ Teach me how
to understand Christmas ♪
346
00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:52,986
♪ show me how to open a box ♪
347
00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,872
♪ it hurts my little head ♪
348
00:12:54,923 --> 00:12:57,324
♪ when I'm lying in my bed ♪
349
00:12:57,342 --> 00:13:00,294
♪ with visions
of sugarplum socks ♪
350
00:13:00,328 --> 00:13:01,595
Is this a bit?
351
00:13:01,629 --> 00:13:05,048
♪ Teach me how
to understand Christmas ♪
352
00:13:05,099 --> 00:13:08,185
♪ do I trim the tree ♪
353
00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:10,370
♪ or the deer? ♪
354
00:13:10,405 --> 00:13:12,272
♪ I can't keep it straight ♪
355
00:13:12,307 --> 00:13:13,707
♪ and now it's getting late ♪
356
00:13:13,741 --> 00:13:15,692
♪ where does
the stocking go? ♪
357
00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:17,544
♪ here? ♪
358
00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:18,812
I can't see!
359
00:13:18,846 --> 00:13:20,447
♪ What's a Christmas Eve? ♪
360
00:13:20,481 --> 00:13:23,033
♪ is that Santa's lady? ♪
361
00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:27,020
♪ are snowmen cold or hot? ♪
362
00:13:27,055 --> 00:13:29,206
♪ won't you be
my daddy? ♪
363
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,875
♪ I'm a silly Christmas baby ♪
364
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:33,293
♪ tell me what to deck ♪
365
00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:35,762
♪ 'cause I forgot ♪
366
00:13:35,797 --> 00:13:38,081
- Annie.
- Ooh!
367
00:13:38,132 --> 00:13:42,085
♪ "Bwain" hurt-y,
understand-y "cwistmas" ♪
368
00:13:42,136 --> 00:13:46,406
♪ mistletoe for eat-y,
taste good?"
369
00:13:46,441 --> 00:13:48,442
♪ You smarty, me dumb ♪
370
00:13:48,476 --> 00:13:50,727
♪ help "pwetty" have fun ♪
371
00:13:50,762 --> 00:13:52,879
♪ boopy doopy doop boop ♪
372
00:13:52,897 --> 00:13:54,681
♪ sex ♪
373
00:13:54,716 --> 00:13:57,017
Look, eventually, you hit
a point of diminishing returns
374
00:13:57,051 --> 00:13:58,285
on the sexiness.
375
00:13:58,319 --> 00:14:01,755
What's a dimin--?
376
00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:04,891
- Stay back, old man.
- Don't even hum.
377
00:14:04,909 --> 00:14:08,111
Shirley, Britta,
I have no intention of singing.
378
00:14:08,162 --> 00:14:09,329
Good.
379
00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:13,584
I can't speak
for these little angels though.
380
00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:14,901
Oh!
381
00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:17,571
♪ there's a magic
in the air ♪
382
00:14:17,605 --> 00:14:20,607
♪ around us ♪
383
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:26,280
♪ we all have the sudden urge
to bake ♪
384
00:14:26,314 --> 00:14:30,801
♪ it feels like
a very special birthday ♪
385
00:14:30,852 --> 00:14:35,722
♪ but whose name
should be written on the cake?
386
00:14:35,757 --> 00:14:36,807
Mm!
387
00:14:36,858 --> 00:14:39,092
Shirley,
you need to get out of here!
388
00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:43,964
♪ we asked our public
school to give the answer ♪
389
00:14:43,998 --> 00:14:45,399
They're not gonna tell you.
390
00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:49,303
♪ but they could only
teach us not to pray ♪
391
00:14:49,337 --> 00:14:50,871
That's what they do.
That's what they do.
392
00:14:50,905 --> 00:14:56,209
♪ the constitution says
the state can't tell us ♪
393
00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:59,446
♪ was anyone important
born today? ♪
394
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,665
Oh, gotta tell the babies!
395
00:15:01,716 --> 00:15:04,418
♪ Jesus Christ! ♪
396
00:15:04,452 --> 00:15:09,222
♪ Jesus Christ is the lord ♪
397
00:15:09,257 --> 00:15:11,425
♪ Happy Birthday, Jesus ♪
398
00:15:11,459 --> 00:15:12,592
♪ Happy Birthday ♪
399
00:15:12,626 --> 00:15:14,678
♪ cut the cake,
cut the cake now ♪
400
00:15:14,729 --> 00:15:16,363
♪ cut the cake, my lord ♪
401
00:15:16,397 --> 00:15:18,432
Oh, Jeff, thank God!
402
00:15:18,466 --> 00:15:21,068
They got Shirley!
It's just you and me now.
403
00:15:21,102 --> 00:15:24,905
Jeff?
404
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,784
Guys, I am swelling with pride!
405
00:15:42,904 --> 00:15:45,541
You stepped up, and you saved
the Christmas pageant!
406
00:15:45,673 --> 00:15:46,739
Whoo!
407
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:48,007
And it's all thanks to you,
Mr. Rad.
408
00:15:48,042 --> 00:15:50,721
I just hope we can repay you
by making regionals.
409
00:15:51,002 --> 00:15:52,982
Uh, I thought
this was regionals.
410
00:15:53,592 --> 00:15:56,215
Don't let my confusion
undercut their importance.
411
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:57,333
Places, everyone!
412
00:15:59,837 --> 00:16:02,088
Scooch, scooch, scooch,
scooch, scooch.
413
00:16:02,122 --> 00:16:03,306
I could not have done this
414
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:04,623
without your
recruiting skills, Abed.
415
00:16:04,641 --> 00:16:06,292
I was happy to do it.
For a while there, I thought
416
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:08,794
we were gonna end the semester
on a really dark note.
417
00:16:08,812 --> 00:16:10,229
I'm glad we're singing
and dancing together instead.
418
00:16:10,264 --> 00:16:11,564
This has been a good time.
419
00:16:11,598 --> 00:16:13,566
And it's going to continue
to be a good time.
420
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,235
If we win regionals, then it's
straight on to sectionals.
421
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:18,738
And then a week later is semis.
Then semiregionals.
422
00:16:18,772 --> 00:16:20,573
Then regional-semis.
423
00:16:20,607 --> 00:16:23,042
Then national
lower-zone semis!
424
00:16:23,077 --> 00:16:24,777
Oh.
425
00:16:24,811 --> 00:16:26,412
But I kinda thought this was...
426
00:16:26,447 --> 00:16:28,331
You know, just for Christmas.
427
00:16:28,365 --> 00:16:30,216
No, no, no.
428
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,418
This is forever.
429
00:16:32,453 --> 00:16:34,837
This is what we do now.
430
00:16:34,872 --> 00:16:37,890
This is who we are.
431
00:16:42,496 --> 00:16:44,163
- ♪ Fa la la la la ♪
- ♪ Fa la la la la ♪
432
00:16:44,198 --> 00:16:45,465
- ♪ fa la ♪
- ♪ Fa la la la la ♪
433
00:16:45,499 --> 00:16:48,051
- ♪ fa la la la la ♪
- Holla!
434
00:16:48,102 --> 00:16:51,003
♪ we are planet Christmas
when we sing ♪
435
00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:56,059
♪ we will sing together
throughout everything ♪
436
00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:57,393
- ♪ we are planet Christmas ♪
- Britta.
437
00:16:57,444 --> 00:16:59,445
Is this about regionals?
438
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,696
I just talked to Cory,
and he needs you to be
439
00:17:00,731 --> 00:17:01,898
the mouse king instead of me.
440
00:17:01,949 --> 00:17:04,517
Me? But I'm supposed
to be a mute tree.
441
00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:06,552
- It's an emergency.
- Hmm?
442
00:17:06,587 --> 00:17:07,854
This will help us
get to regionals!
443
00:17:07,888 --> 00:17:11,224
I knew it!
Wait, what are the lyrics?
444
00:17:11,258 --> 00:17:13,926
- They're in your heart, Britta.
- Right. Duh doy!
445
00:17:13,961 --> 00:17:18,381
♪ we are everyone,
and we are everything ♪
446
00:17:18,415 --> 00:17:22,385
♪ Christmas time! ♪
447
00:17:22,419 --> 00:17:24,103
What the--?
448
00:17:24,138 --> 00:17:25,304
Oh, Britta's in this?
449
00:17:25,339 --> 00:17:29,041
♪ I got a Christmas time
for me ♪
450
00:17:29,059 --> 00:17:33,146
♪ I got a Christmas time
for a tree ♪
451
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,882
- No! She's ruining it!
- ♪ Christmas ♪
452
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:39,385
♪ Christmas time ♪
453
00:17:39,419 --> 00:17:40,386
♪ me so Christmas,
me so merry ♪
454
00:17:40,404 --> 00:17:42,855
No, stop, stop, stop, stop!
455
00:17:42,889 --> 00:17:44,557
What are you doing?
Get off the stage!
456
00:17:44,575 --> 00:17:45,992
I'm singing my heart's song.
457
00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:48,361
Get off the stage,
and never sing again!
458
00:17:48,395 --> 00:17:49,495
You are the worst!
459
00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:50,613
Hey!
460
00:17:50,664 --> 00:17:52,732
You do not get to call Britta
"the worst."
461
00:17:52,766 --> 00:17:55,734
- Yeah!
- Let her finish!
462
00:17:55,752 --> 00:17:57,336
Mr. Radison,
I think it's fine.
463
00:17:57,371 --> 00:17:59,789
I know Greendale
is an all-inclusive school.
464
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,959
Why don't we let Britta
sing her awkward song?
465
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:05,244
Yeah!
466
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:07,580
No, no, no, no, no, no!
467
00:18:07,598 --> 00:18:11,384
This show is supposed to be
gleeful and bright and fun,
468
00:18:11,418 --> 00:18:12,852
and you can let me do that,
469
00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:14,937
or there can be
another bus crash!
470
00:18:16,390 --> 00:18:19,809
Well, figuratively.
471
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,361
I'm not saying,
472
00:18:22,396 --> 00:18:25,598
"I killed
the last glee club."
473
00:18:25,616 --> 00:18:28,601
I'm saying
you not listening to me
474
00:18:28,619 --> 00:18:33,072
is like metaphorically cutting
the brake lines on your own--
475
00:18:33,106 --> 00:18:36,042
look, kings of Leon!
476
00:18:36,076 --> 00:18:38,477
What did he say?
477
00:18:38,512 --> 00:18:40,813
Did Mr. Rad
kill the last glee club?
478
00:18:40,848 --> 00:18:42,682
And to think
I trusted him enough
479
00:18:42,716 --> 00:18:45,818
to captain a magic carpet
in that dream I had last night.
480
00:18:45,853 --> 00:18:48,054
Maybe Jeff's right.
481
00:18:48,088 --> 00:18:49,422
Maybe forcing things
to be bright just makes
482
00:18:49,456 --> 00:18:50,823
the darkness underneath
even darker.
483
00:18:50,858 --> 00:18:53,693
This was all my fault,
insisting we do the pageant.
484
00:18:53,727 --> 00:18:55,695
Sorry.
485
00:18:55,729 --> 00:18:58,030
Merry Christmas.
486
00:18:58,065 --> 00:19:02,201
I guess I'll just see you guys
after the holidays.
487
00:19:08,308 --> 00:19:10,142
Happy time day, Reggie.
488
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,578
It is tradition to give
one's constable a gift
489
00:19:12,613 --> 00:19:13,863
at the end
of each orbital cycle.
490
00:19:13,914 --> 00:19:15,548
Oh, thank you, inspector!
491
00:19:17,584 --> 00:19:19,819
- Blimey! A hologram?
- Mm-hmm.
492
00:19:19,853 --> 00:19:21,487
Let's activate it
and view the performance.
493
00:19:22,756 --> 00:19:24,824
♪ I tried to find
a way around ♪
494
00:19:24,858 --> 00:19:28,628
♪ then get behind your wall ♪
495
00:19:28,662 --> 00:19:30,429
♪ I tried to reach the top ♪
496
00:19:30,464 --> 00:19:31,564
This is terrible.
497
00:19:31,598 --> 00:19:35,835
♪ the angels did say ♪
498
00:19:35,869 --> 00:19:39,055
♪ was to certain
poor Shepherds ♪
499
00:19:39,106 --> 00:19:42,775
♪ in fields where they lay ♪
500
00:19:42,809 --> 00:19:46,529
♪ in fields where they ♪
501
00:19:46,563 --> 00:19:50,182
♪ lay keeping their sheep ♪
502
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,020
♪ on a cold winter's night ♪
503
00:19:54,054 --> 00:19:57,723
♪ that was so deep ♪
504
00:19:57,758 --> 00:20:00,026
We decided we wanted to spend
the holiday together.
505
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:02,728
It's been a dark semester.
506
00:20:02,763 --> 00:20:04,230
I basically killed a guy.
507
00:20:04,264 --> 00:20:07,032
And I kind of attacked you guys
with a fire axe.
508
00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:08,267
Yeah.
509
00:20:08,302 --> 00:20:09,502
I'm thinking about seeing
a new shrink.
510
00:20:09,536 --> 00:20:10,503
- What?
- Don't.
511
00:20:10,537 --> 00:20:11,704
Holy crap.
512
00:20:11,738 --> 00:20:14,039
Look how terrible
this Christmas special is.
513
00:20:14,057 --> 00:20:17,927
♪ Noel, Noel ♪
514
00:20:17,978 --> 00:20:23,065
♪ Noel, Noel ♪
515
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,918
♪ we will see you ♪
516
00:20:25,953 --> 00:20:31,090
♪ after regionals ♪
517
00:20:31,121 --> 00:20:34,389
Merry Christmas!
Sync by Sp8ky, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com
518
00:20:37,909 --> 00:20:42,346
♪ Chang, Chang, Chang, Chang ♪
519
00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:46,917
♪ Pop, pop, pop, pop ♪
520
00:20:46,951 --> 00:20:48,085
♪ My name is Alex,
521
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,254
♪ my name is Alex,
my name is Alex ♪
522
00:20:50,288 --> 00:20:51,355
♪ my name is Alex ♪
523
00:20:55,894 --> 00:20:58,095
♪ Merry, merry, merry,
merry "Chang-mas" ♪
524
00:20:58,129 --> 00:21:00,764
♪ Merry, merry, merry,
merry "Dean-mas" ♪
525
00:21:00,799 --> 00:21:02,399
- ♪ Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean ♪
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
526
00:21:02,417 --> 00:21:03,834
- No!
- ♪ Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean ♪
527
00:21:03,868 --> 00:21:06,303
♪ Dean dong ♪
528
00:21:06,338 --> 00:21:08,938
- No!
- ♪ Dean dong ♪