1
00:00:01,053 --> 00:00:07,826
From the marble steps of old DC
to the sun soaked Tampa coast.

2
00:00:07,827 --> 00:00:12,614
I have been to every place where
you can find a human race but

3
00:00:12,615 --> 00:00:15,003
I have been Vicki the mooooooost!

4
00:00:16,011 --> 00:00:19,572
I'm gonna go get a shovel,
because theater is dead.

5
00:00:19,573 --> 00:00:20,573
Shh.

6
00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:30,548
Hi Starburns.

7
00:00:30,549 --> 00:00:35,140
Todd, you know you don't have to
creep around to be weird, right?

8
00:00:35,141 --> 00:00:37,250
You're weird at picnics.

9
00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:39,140
Did you hear about the paintball game?

10
00:00:39,141 --> 00:00:40,210
Yeah, I heard there was no paintball.

11
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:41,490
I heard it was banned.

12
00:00:41,491 --> 00:00:44,370
Well, you can't believe
everything you hear.

13
00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:48,309
Okay, you just asked if
I heard something and

14
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:51,635
now you're invalidating the whole.

15
00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:52,636
Oh! Aah!

16
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:38,110
Do you know why I beat you, Todd?

17
00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,726
Seriously, you don't?

18
00:01:40,856 --> 00:01:42,183
Cuz I don't either, but that was insane.

19
00:01:42,184 --> 00:01:43,698
I'm 50, here.

20
00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:45,733
I think, I think I could win this year.

21
00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,114
I think I can go all the way.

22
00:01:47,115 --> 00:01:50,860
Actually, you'll be settling for silver.

23
00:02:27,342 --> 00:02:29,977
Names, you give me names or
you're expelled, that simple.

24
00:02:29,978 --> 00:02:33,239
I told ya, I don't know nothing
about no secret paintball games.

25
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,748
This is from huffing paint, I swear.

26
00:02:35,749 --> 00:02:37,785
Escort Alex Osbourne off campus.

27
00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:38,795
Hey, hey, hey!

28
00:02:38,796 --> 00:02:39,962
Hold your horse panties.

29
00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,901
You didn't tell me you knew my name.

30
00:02:41,902 --> 00:02:45,273
Look, I was about to take Todd
out, and then we both got shot.

31
00:02:45,274 --> 00:02:46,602
Guy was invisible.

32
00:02:46,603 --> 00:02:48,013
A ghost.

33
00:02:48,014 --> 00:02:50,759
Uses silver paint.

34
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:51,889
A ghost?

35
00:02:51,890 --> 00:02:52,399
So no name?

36
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,780
I'd call him Silver Ghost, but

37
00:02:53,781 --> 00:02:57,116
that's probably already taken by an
indie comic book or a terrible tequila.

38
00:02:57,117 --> 00:02:58,916
Bye forever Starburns.

39
00:02:58,917 --> 00:02:59,489
No.

40
00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:01,187
No. No, no, no, no.

41
00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:01,938
No, don't make me. Frankie?

42
00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:04,649
Dean, I respect that you are
my boss, so either fire me or

43
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:07,027
let me handle this and go to your office.

44
00:03:07,028 --> 00:03:11,214
I want to give your paintball
friends a message, Jeff.

45
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:12,317
Good morning.

46
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:14,684
This era is over.

47
00:03:14,685 --> 00:03:17,004
It was fun while it lasted,
but now mommy's home.

48
00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:19,914
Everybody with a gun will
be expelled or fired.

49
00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:20,844
Don't worry, Miss Dart.

50
00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:22,884
My boys and I will get this
cleaned up in no time.

51
00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:23,704
Thank you.

52
00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:25,564
Jeff, do you know Deputy Custodian Lapari.

53
00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:29,034
Oh, we haven't had the pleasure because Mr.
Winger has caused me nothing

54
00:03:29,035 --> 00:03:31,264
but pain over the years
with his paint balling.

55
00:03:31,265 --> 00:03:32,354
I'm sorry. I quit that.

56
00:03:32,355 --> 00:03:33,314
That's behind me.

57
00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:34,315
Sure it is.

58
00:03:35,995 --> 00:03:37,764
Handling turds has rubbed off on him.

59
00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:41,164
Custodian Lapari is gonna be
honored this week at the Gala for

60
00:03:41,165 --> 00:03:42,334
a Cleaner Greendale.

61
00:03:42,335 --> 00:03:43,624
I'd like you to introduce him.

62
00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:44,294
Why would I do that?

63
00:03:44,295 --> 00:03:46,444
Because you're the de facto
leader of Greendale.

64
00:03:46,445 --> 00:03:49,764
And if you gave a speech coming out
against paintball, it might end it.

65
00:03:49,765 --> 00:03:50,474
No. No.

66
00:03:50,475 --> 00:03:53,094
Just because I'm not playing doesn't
mean I'm the weenie that tells

67
00:03:53,095 --> 00:03:54,095
people not to.

68
00:03:54,975 --> 00:03:56,284
Please?

69
00:03:56,285 --> 00:03:57,645
If not for Greendale, then for me?

70
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,872
I'll think about it.

71
00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:07,862
Look, I was a different guy back then.

72
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:09,114
Yeah. Two, never mind.

73
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,634
Well, Frankie's upset.

74
00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:11,774
Did she break up with someone?

75
00:04:11,775 --> 00:04:12,684
Which gender?

76
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,306
I don't care, but everybody else does.

77
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:15,746
She's upset about paintball.

78
00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:16,757
Paint?

79
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:18,915
Ball?

80
00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:22,107
Occasionally our campus erupts into
a flawless, post modern, homage to

81
00:04:22,108 --> 00:04:25,914
action adventure mythology,
mischaracterized by the ignorant as parody.

82
00:04:25,915 --> 00:04:29,944
Apparently, now that Frankie's declared
it illegal, it's gone underground,

83
00:04:29,945 --> 00:04:31,679
and is still happening as we speak.

84
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,044
Well maybe for freshman, but

85
00:04:33,045 --> 00:04:35,294
honestly we've kind of
done it to death, right?

86
00:04:35,295 --> 00:04:36,014
Done it?

87
00:04:36,015 --> 00:04:37,399
Nailed it? I've won a few time now.

88
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,234
No, who keeps track of that?

89
00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:41,766
Lame! I'm thinking mostly about Frankie.

90
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:45,471
She's our friend, and she cares about
this school, and I think it would

91
00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:48,650
break her heart if she caught any
of us undermining her goals.

92
00:04:48,651 --> 00:04:49,312
Yeah. Yeah.

93
00:04:49,313 --> 00:04:50,909
I agree. A reasonable agreement.

94
00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:52,441
You're both right.

95
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,282
Well, meeting adjourned, I guess. Hm-hm.

96
00:04:53,283 --> 00:04:53,921
This is good.

97
00:04:53,922 --> 00:04:55,819
I'm glad we all agree not to do this.

98
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:58,873
Is gonna make it a lot
easier for me to beat you.

99
00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:03,900
What the hell?

100
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:06,275
They killed meeeeeee!

101
00:05:06,276 --> 00:05:07,192
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

102
00:05:07,193 --> 00:05:08,318
Don't do anything stupid.

103
00:05:08,319 --> 00:05:09,525
Do something stupid.

104
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:10,317
I thought we weren't playing.

105
00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,109
Is this an alliance?

106
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:11,692
I don't know, is it?

107
00:05:11,693 --> 00:05:13,604
Who's people? Cut the crap, Elroy.

108
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,805
Stop that, what are you doing?

109
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,109
Aah! Go back to class.

110
00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:19,025
Winger's playing paintball.

111
00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:20,609
No, he's not.

112
00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:21,650
Don't think about it, don't think about it.

113
00:05:21,651 --> 00:05:22,860
Don't do it.

114
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:37,025
Grow up.

115
00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:37,900
What are you doing?

116
00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:39,234
I'm not playing.

117
00:05:39,235 --> 00:05:41,924
For a guy who's not playing, you sure
are shooting a bunch of mothers.

118
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:42,714
That was instinct.

119
00:05:42,715 --> 00:05:44,294
I can't help being a bad ass.

120
00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:46,294
But I am not playing.

121
00:05:46,295 --> 00:05:48,274
Okay, so let's make this painless.

122
00:05:48,275 --> 00:05:49,174
Take it easy. Leave her alone.

123
00:05:49,175 --> 00:05:49,844
Stop it.

124
00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,094
Knock it off.

125
00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,254
Frankie is coming.

126
00:05:52,255 --> 00:05:53,860
What is important to you people?

127
00:05:56,485 --> 00:06:01,109
Jeff Winger shot me.

128
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,567
Do I use echo location to navigate?

129
00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:05,442
Why would you ask that after
learning you aren't a bat?

130
00:06:05,443 --> 00:06:06,484
Hello.

131
00:06:06,485 --> 00:06:07,900
Hi, Frankie.

132
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:08,442
Frankie.

133
00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:13,193
Yes, Jeff, student just passed by me
and said you shot him with paint.

134
00:06:14,443 --> 00:06:16,317
Okay.

135
00:06:16,318 --> 00:06:18,942
So, you are definitely
not playing paint ball?

136
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,567
No.

137
00:06:20,568 --> 00:06:22,936
Frankie, I've been cool up until
now, but I gotta tell you,

138
00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,734
I'm starting to get offended
by your suspicion about this.

139
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,914
Well. Well is a hole in the
ground when you're thirsty.

140
00:06:27,915 --> 00:06:30,484
Oh. I'm telling you, I ain't
playing no paintball.

141
00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:32,692
Boo hee haw, boo hew haw, bam.

142
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:36,192
Okay, take it easy guys.

143
00:06:36,193 --> 00:06:39,264
And for what it's worth, thank
you for teaching me the cool,

144
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,352
new way to respond to people
saying the word well.

145
00:06:42,353 --> 00:06:43,734
All right guys.

146
00:06:43,735 --> 00:06:46,360
Bye Franks take it easy.

147
00:06:49,485 --> 00:06:51,067
Would you stop doing that?

148
00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:52,067
Don't hate the player.

149
00:06:52,068 --> 00:06:54,067
Colloquialisms aside, Annie's right.

150
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:57,193
The thing to hate this year is the game.

151
00:06:57,194 --> 00:07:00,359
Can I show you all something?

152
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,064
You know this game is being run
anonymously through an online server, but

153
00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:03,596
who set it up?

154
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:06,116
They haven't left a clue which is a
really big clue because if they're this

155
00:07:06,117 --> 00:07:06,765
good at anything.

156
00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:07,787
Why are they here?

157
00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:11,944
Whoever's running this server is offering
a huge cash prize to the winner.

158
00:07:11,945 --> 00:07:13,614
More evidence they don't go here.

159
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:15,609
And they seem to have their
own man in the game.

160
00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:19,234
You've probably heard about a mysterious
player using silver paint balls.

161
00:07:19,235 --> 00:07:21,067
Well, look at these IP addresses.

162
00:07:21,068 --> 00:07:24,484
If that means what I think it means,
we're dealing with gibberish.

163
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,040
Those are mine.

164
00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:26,584
That's a student or

165
00:07:26,585 --> 00:07:29,784
teacher on this campus opening an
encrypted tunnel to an off campus site.

166
00:07:29,785 --> 00:07:30,285
Big deal.

167
00:07:30,286 --> 00:07:31,174
I do that all the time.

168
00:07:31,175 --> 00:07:32,884
Oh, I save it all up for Saturday night.

169
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,184
You're right, it's no big deal.

170
00:07:34,185 --> 00:07:36,624
Unless you always do it immediately
before a paintball player is taken out

171
00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:39,854
with premium grade silver
paintballs by an unknown shooter.

172
00:07:39,855 --> 00:07:44,334
And unless the IP that you're
connecting to is this one.

173
00:07:44,335 --> 00:07:45,464
Aah, of course.

174
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,234
So who's the Silver paintballs guy?

175
00:07:47,235 --> 00:07:50,919
Spy, assassin, mercenary, bad
person walking among us laughing,

176
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:51,984
laughing quietly.

177
00:07:51,985 --> 00:07:54,067
And then if we look pretending that
he was looking at something funny.

178
00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:58,317
I suppose you all should be in trouble.

179
00:07:58,318 --> 00:08:03,236
But desperate deans hm, but

180
00:08:03,237 --> 00:08:07,986
desperates, but des, but

181
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:14,609
desperate deans call for
Deansperate measures.

182
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:19,942
From here on out, you work for me.

183
00:08:19,943 --> 00:08:22,126
Everything you're saying
just proves my point,

184
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,764
that the only way to lose
this game is to play it.

185
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:27,014
And I say we do the honest
thing, and tell Frankie.

186
00:08:27,015 --> 00:08:29,564
The school's playing and losing
already, Frankie included.

187
00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,194
If the people in this room play to win,

188
00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:32,854
we can not only take City College's money.

189
00:08:32,855 --> 00:08:36,354
We can expose Silverballs, and, in turn,
City College, and save Greendale.

190
00:08:36,355 --> 00:08:38,274
Which is basically saving Frankie.

191
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:41,794
All right, so we lay low, and we try
to find out who Silverballs is.

192
00:08:41,795 --> 00:08:44,394
But we're not, to be clear,
we did not vote on that name.

193
00:08:44,395 --> 00:08:45,995
Here's a name you don't have to vote on.

194
00:08:46,945 --> 00:08:50,504
You just became the Secret
Dean Force, The Dean Boys,

195
00:08:50,505 --> 00:08:52,974
Task Force Dean, His Dean, Secret People.

196
00:08:52,975 --> 00:08:54,722
I know the word Dean is in it.

197
00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:57,484
Because when the politicians fail,
and the peace talks fall apart.

198
00:08:57,485 --> 00:09:00,404
When it seems like all is lost, and

199
00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:05,859
nobody really needs the Dean
anymore because Frankie's here.

200
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,025
That's when you go in.

201
00:09:07,026 --> 00:09:11,901
The last bastion of a bygone
era when people respected me.

202
00:09:14,861 --> 00:09:22,861
Dean Force One.

203
00:09:23,151 --> 00:09:24,942
If you're gonna hang around,
we could use some water.

204
00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:27,193
On it.

205
00:09:30,191 --> 00:09:33,274
Club Club, the last club
I thought I'd ever join.

206
00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:35,732
Your target is a small time
paintball munitions dealer.

207
00:09:35,733 --> 00:09:40,940
All we know is he's a white male over
30 and his street name is Fun Dad.

208
00:09:40,941 --> 00:09:44,190
All right is everybody in this
club ready to party the way they

209
00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:45,191
do in clubs?

210
00:09:48,358 --> 00:09:51,138
Connor stop horsing around
with Billy and party.

211
00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:53,099
DJ might be the guy from MeowMeowBeenz.

212
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,622
We need clean intelligence, Abed.

213
00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:55,830
No references, call backs.

214
00:09:55,831 --> 00:09:58,488
Excuse me good sir, if
I could have the mic.

215
00:09:58,489 --> 00:10:03,733
Attention shoppers there's a sale
on partying in my pants aisle.

216
00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,791
Everything in my pants must go.

217
00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:09,224
Well not everything, that
doesn't, you know what I.

218
00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:10,225
Koogler?

219
00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:13,594
Aladdin. I thought your name was Fun Dad.

220
00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:14,154
No.

221
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,674
That was easy.

222
00:10:15,675 --> 00:10:16,444
I need ammunition.

223
00:10:16,445 --> 00:10:18,464
Are you a narc? Why would
I answer that honestly?

224
00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:19,244
Good point.

225
00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:20,535
It's how most people answer, so.

226
00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:22,544
Yeah, come on, it's a bad question.

227
00:10:22,545 --> 00:10:23,654
You just get so many narcs.

228
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:24,404
Hey don't forget.

229
00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:27,964
There's a sign up sheet on the
back wall for Club Club Club.

230
00:10:27,965 --> 00:10:30,754
Listen, I'm so glad Omar that
you're interested in paintball.

231
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,784
Now I have to tell you,
no shooting in here.

232
00:10:32,785 --> 00:10:35,584
The first rule of Club Club is
that we are not a fight club.

233
00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:40,354
The second rule is that if you're a hot
lady, you have to have sex with me.

234
00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:41,604
And then there's a bunch of rules and

235
00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:44,924
restriction that they've just now been
adding because of the lawsuits based

236
00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:48,174
on that, second rule, which, I'm
not allowed to call a rule.

237
00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:48,954
That was my screw up.

238
00:10:48,955 --> 00:10:50,376
Let me show you what I've got here.

239
00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:53,034
All right, these are blue travelers.

240
00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:57,394
I think I've got some sarcastic
mellow yellows in here.

241
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,064
Those are great.

242
00:10:58,065 --> 00:10:59,994
And these are green meanies.

243
00:10:59,995 --> 00:11:03,584
They explode on contact, and they
mark your target with paint.

244
00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,264
That's a description of every paint ball.

245
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,784
Okay, so you know your stuff.

246
00:11:06,785 --> 00:11:08,004
Why don't I give you a pro discount?

247
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:11,614
I'm thinking something more
exotic, something in silver?

248
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,232
Yeah, okay, great.

249
00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,753
I think that's a great idea, you know?

250
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:25,954
You want to stay in the game?

251
00:11:25,955 --> 00:11:26,955
Talk.

252
00:11:27,735 --> 00:11:29,264
Okay, look.

253
00:11:29,265 --> 00:11:30,784
If you're a narc, you can't play.

254
00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:36,186
And if you're playing, I
do accept sex for ammo.

255
00:11:36,187 --> 00:11:37,974
Or beer, right?

256
00:11:37,975 --> 00:11:38,904
But not Bitcoin.

257
00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:39,904
I mean, I believe in it.

258
00:11:39,905 --> 00:11:43,234
I just, I think I feel like
I need it to stabilize.

259
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,914
Who is Silver Man?

260
00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:47,089
My accountant?

261
00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:47,804
Oh, how do you know David?

262
00:11:47,805 --> 00:11:48,874
You know what I mean.

263
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,094
Who buys the silver ammo?

264
00:11:50,095 --> 00:11:54,056
Oh, look, if I tell you
that, I'm pretendsies dead.

265
00:12:05,131 --> 00:12:07,713
Koogler? We got him.

266
00:12:07,714 --> 00:12:09,686
That's good.

267
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,847
Then he wont be needing this.

268
00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:17,039
Koogler's thumb drive is actually
a hardware encryption key.

269
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,814
Hm, can it be unencrypted?

270
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,994
No, you use it to decrypt
something encrypted.

271
00:12:21,995 --> 00:12:23,914
A key with a lock on it.

272
00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:25,354
I'll give our enemy this.

273
00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:26,355
They're clever.

274
00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:28,445
Why did they pair us together?

275
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,704
Look, a message chain between
Koogler and Silverballs.

276
00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:34,914
Now he's ordering a huge batch of ammo, and

277
00:12:34,915 --> 00:12:37,854
stressing that he needs it before
the Cleaner Greendale Gala.

278
00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:40,344
City College is-Whoa!

279
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:43,594
Oh! City College is going
to crash Frankie's Gala.

280
00:12:43,595 --> 00:12:47,254
And here's where Silverballs
decides on silver balls.

281
00:12:47,255 --> 00:12:51,774
Which color will look coolest
against a navy blue jumpsuit?

282
00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:53,804
Who wears a jumpsuit to a black tie gala?

283
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:56,465
The guest of honor.

284
00:12:58,555 --> 00:13:00,034
Is your Internet not working?

285
00:13:00,035 --> 00:13:00,904
It's one photo.

286
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,885
It's taking an hour.

287
00:13:01,886 --> 00:13:06,365
You have keystrokes programmed
to, eesh, that's dorky.

288
00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:09,035
Looks like we'll be renting formal wear.

289
00:13:09,036 --> 00:13:10,628
I'll measure Jeffrey.

290
00:13:15,758 --> 00:13:18,504
Mister Winger, you clean up nice.

291
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:19,985
Oh, come on. I'm always good looking.

292
00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:22,994
This seems ambitious.

293
00:13:22,995 --> 00:13:27,734
Well, the monorail is more symbolic of
our potential than it is potential,

294
00:13:27,735 --> 00:13:29,914
and none of our buildings will
ever be shaped like this.

295
00:13:29,915 --> 00:13:32,484
But with a little work,
this is how we could feel.

296
00:13:32,485 --> 00:13:34,472
You should be proud.

297
00:13:34,473 --> 00:13:38,465
Thank you, Jeff, for supporting this.

298
00:13:40,055 --> 00:13:41,055
Why is that in your ear?

299
00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:44,923
Oh, I'm raising awareness of
Armenian American stereotypes.

300
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,044
Bale to belfry.

301
00:13:46,045 --> 00:13:47,394
Let's check in.

302
00:13:47,395 --> 00:13:52,454
Should stereotypes have
their awareness raised, I?

303
00:13:52,455 --> 00:13:53,304
Oh, good lord.

304
00:13:53,305 --> 00:13:54,434
I'm questioning you again.

305
00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:55,084
Why?

306
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,344
Follow your bliss, sir.

307
00:13:57,345 --> 00:13:58,345
You've earned it.

308
00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:02,334
Keaton to belfry, I need to
just all make sure we are very,

309
00:14:02,335 --> 00:14:03,294
very careful here.

310
00:14:03,295 --> 00:14:03,854
Bale to Keaton,

311
00:14:03,855 --> 00:14:06,575
why don't you set a good example by
keeping your mind on the mission?

312
00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:08,525
And your eyes on the prize.

313
00:14:10,735 --> 00:14:11,414
Prize is secure.

314
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:12,415
Keaton out.

315
00:14:13,505 --> 00:14:14,364
West to belfry.

316
00:14:14,365 --> 00:14:15,964
Entrances secure.

317
00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,774
Keaton to Kilmer, status.

318
00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:20,334
Kilmer to Belfry, I'm
currently examining a spoon,

319
00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:22,254
only I'm not really examining it.

320
00:14:22,255 --> 00:14:26,524
I'm using it was cover while watching
a somewhat suspicious waiter.

321
00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:28,014
Voice of Diedrich Bader to belfry.

322
00:14:28,015 --> 00:14:30,104
I've checked the custodial
wing for the third time.

323
00:14:30,105 --> 00:14:31,944
Can I come join the mission now?

324
00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:33,214
Negative voice of Diedrich Bader.

325
00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:34,824
Continue to check the custodial wing,

326
00:14:34,825 --> 00:14:37,994
and then check the parameter
of the inside of your office.

327
00:14:37,995 --> 00:14:38,995
Okay.

328
00:14:41,245 --> 00:14:43,254
And for the record, I feel
very vulnerable without a gun.

329
00:14:43,255 --> 00:14:47,344
Ugh, I know that someone
plays in this thing.

330
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,310
Hey there, Dean.

331
00:14:50,311 --> 00:14:51,599
We need a custodian.

332
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,216
Dean.

333
00:14:54,217 --> 00:14:55,151
Dean.

334
00:14:55,152 --> 00:14:56,463
Dean.

335
00:14:56,464 --> 00:14:57,464
Dean.

336
00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:12,585
Clooney to belfry I've
got a bogey with a gun.

337
00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:13,641
Excuse me.

338
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:16,491
I wasn't talking to you,
I was ordering dinner.

339
00:15:16,492 --> 00:15:23,988
Yes hello can I get a bogey with a gun
no pickles and three orders of gun.

340
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,217
Damn it.

341
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,719
Clooney slooped the bogey, now
he's headed for the kitchen.

342
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,370
Should we go?

343
00:15:32,371 --> 00:15:34,044
Negative, we don't know it's our man.

344
00:15:34,045 --> 00:15:38,166
Kilmer, Clooney do nothing unless
you can do it quietly and calmly.

345
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:40,598
Whoa, what the hell?

346
00:15:40,599 --> 00:15:41,195
No. Nothing.

347
00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:42,431
Are you ready?

348
00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:44,601
Yes.

349
00:15:44,602 --> 00:15:47,203
Clooney to Kilmer.

350
00:15:47,204 --> 00:15:48,714
What? Should I come in now?

351
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:52,626
No, no you can't ever come
in ever, you're sloppy.

352
00:15:52,627 --> 00:15:55,062
Excuse me can I have a word with you?

353
00:15:55,063 --> 00:15:56,108
About what?

354
00:15:59,218 --> 00:16:03,584
Well, there's been some reports
about a paintball game on campus.

355
00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:06,295
Oh yeah, you better believe the
kitchen boys are playing and

356
00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,117
this year we got a new winning strategy.

357
00:16:08,118 --> 00:16:10,798
Let the idiots come to you.

358
00:16:10,799 --> 00:16:17,568
Oh really, oh Britta you can come in now.

359
00:16:18,921 --> 00:16:20,006
Oh!

360
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:26,380
Boom boom!

361
00:16:29,396 --> 00:16:30,396
Oh!

362
00:16:38,352 --> 00:16:39,738
Oh!

363
00:16:39,739 --> 00:16:42,549
Oh! Oh!

364
00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:43,550
I'm sorry!

365
00:16:46,408 --> 00:16:47,924
Agh.

366
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:55,190
Oh! Agh!

367
00:16:55,191 --> 00:16:59,911
I stand before you one of Greendale's
biggest perpetrators of paint related

368
00:16:59,912 --> 00:17:04,282
mayhem and I am happy to say that those
days are fully behind our school.

369
00:17:04,283 --> 00:17:08,338
Looking back on those dark days,
it's clear that the only heroes were

370
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:11,868
the janitors and the custodians
left to clean up our messes.

371
00:17:13,928 --> 00:17:16,680
Oh!

372
00:17:16,681 --> 00:17:17,278
Ow!

373
00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:19,489
Oh, ow!

374
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:20,806
Ow!

375
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:21,411
Oh.

376
00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:23,048
Oh.

377
00:17:31,069 --> 00:17:35,104
So it is with great shame and
poetic irony that I present

378
00:17:35,105 --> 00:17:39,682
the custodial innovation award
to Vice Custodian, Lapari.

379
00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:44,511
What the hell are you doing in there?

380
00:17:44,512 --> 00:17:45,416
Jeff, focus.

381
00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:46,200
You all right, man?

382
00:17:46,201 --> 00:17:47,802
Yes. It wasn't our guy.

383
00:17:47,803 --> 00:17:49,880
The assassin is not in the kitchen.

384
00:17:49,881 --> 00:17:50,664
He's still at large.

385
00:17:50,665 --> 00:17:56,202
And now let's all enact what I hope
will become a yearly tradition,

386
00:17:56,203 --> 00:17:58,639
the popping of the balloons.

387
00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,283
What?

388
00:17:59,284 --> 00:18:07,242
And Stay calm, check your zones.

389
00:18:08,703 --> 00:18:12,214
Who's that?

390
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:12,854
Where?

391
00:18:12,855 --> 00:18:13,632
Where?

392
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:14,950
I don't see anything.

393
00:18:14,951 --> 00:18:15,951
Him.

394
00:18:20,116 --> 00:18:21,116
Oh!

395
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,162
Sorry.

396
00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:55,274
It's the custodians.

397
00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:59,294
Greendale's custodial staff is running
the underground paintball tournament

398
00:18:59,295 --> 00:19:01,844
probably with City College money.

399
00:19:01,845 --> 00:19:04,954
The people that clean Greendale
don't want a cleaner Greendale,

400
00:19:04,955 --> 00:19:08,765
they want Greendale to be afraid
of itself and reliant on them.

401
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:12,744
Oh, what an exciting story.

402
00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:15,084
We're got a real life M
Night Shamalyan here.

403
00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,084
It's Shyamalan.

404
00:19:16,085 --> 00:19:22,184
Unfortunately, as with his stories I
don't anticipate yours holding up.

405
00:19:22,185 --> 00:19:23,034
Easy target.

406
00:19:23,035 --> 00:19:24,834
Who's heckling me?

407
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:26,644
Oh, of course, it's the Indian guy.

408
00:19:26,645 --> 00:19:27,244
I'm Arabic.

409
00:19:27,245 --> 00:19:30,375
Ow, okay, let's go with that.

410
00:19:31,675 --> 00:19:34,884
Anyway, you know what goes
great with crazy stories?

411
00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:36,774
Evidence. You're the evidence.

412
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:40,924
Come back to our side and tell the
truth, so City College can be exposed.

413
00:19:40,925 --> 00:19:43,564
Or I could leave and get
a job at City College,

414
00:19:43,565 --> 00:19:47,344
where their pay phones aren't only
herpe-free, they're actually removed.

415
00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:49,294
You think City College will
take you if you lose their

416
00:19:49,295 --> 00:19:50,235
paintball prize money?

417
00:19:50,236 --> 00:19:53,558
I don't know how many men you
have left in your game, but

418
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,048
if you're leaving this room,
it needs to be a small army.

419
00:19:57,049 --> 00:19:58,040
Oh!

420
00:19:58,041 --> 00:19:59,041
Mm.

421
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,799
Okay. I agree.

422
00:20:09,735 --> 00:20:16,280
Annie look

423
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:19,920
out.

424
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:23,855
Oh.

425
00:20:27,635 --> 00:20:28,668
An eye for an eye.

426
00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:35,029
Oh.

427
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,447
Aah!

428
00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:40,091
Oh!

429
00:20:40,092 --> 00:20:42,425
No!

430
00:20:42,426 --> 00:20:47,731
No!

431
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:52,859
Aah!

432
00:20:53,909 --> 00:20:55,186
Ow!

433
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:59,603
We're the last ones left?

434
00:20:59,604 --> 00:21:00,484
Cover me.

435
00:21:00,485 --> 00:21:02,245
Oh, dreams do come true!

436
00:21:09,036 --> 00:21:09,953
Okay, we got him.

437
00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:11,044
He went into a supply closet.

438
00:21:11,045 --> 00:21:11,619
I know.

439
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:14,162
I guess to a custodian, a supply
closet is like a location.

440
00:21:21,167 --> 00:21:23,525
I'm actually relieved. I thought
this was gonna be a whole gauntlet.

441
00:21:23,526 --> 00:21:24,974
My heart was not in it.

442
00:21:24,975 --> 00:21:26,644
I mean, I shot a disabled kid.

443
00:21:26,645 --> 00:21:27,594
I can't do this anymore.

444
00:21:27,595 --> 00:21:29,053
What are you looking at?

445
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:30,442
This isn't a closet.

446
00:21:44,683 --> 00:21:46,738
Oh, it's really nice of you guys to visit,

447
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,193
not that you ever would
have done it intentionally.

448
00:21:51,968 --> 00:21:53,442
Your steamy pipes can't stop us.

449
00:21:53,443 --> 00:21:57,265
Well, it would be a pretty bad
museum exhibit if it could.

450
00:21:58,705 --> 00:22:00,014
Give it up, Lapari.

451
00:22:00,015 --> 00:22:01,914
Hey Dean, I have a microphone.

452
00:22:01,915 --> 00:22:02,994
You have a beer.

453
00:22:02,995 --> 00:22:03,995
God has a plan.

454
00:22:06,207 --> 00:22:07,036
I have a beer?

455
00:22:07,037 --> 00:22:09,124
It's an old stand up line
for using up hecklers.

456
00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:10,125
Keep moving.

457
00:22:10,945 --> 00:22:11,945
Did you do stand up?

458
00:22:13,345 --> 00:22:14,745
Is that how you became a custodian?

459
00:22:15,975 --> 00:22:18,954
Listen man, I was there in the 90s.

460
00:22:18,955 --> 00:22:21,284
I did a few open mic nights.

461
00:22:21,285 --> 00:22:23,384
I saw what karaoke did.

462
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:26,284
It wasn't cool man.

463
00:22:26,285 --> 00:22:29,401
We're not so different, you and I, Dean.

464
00:22:29,402 --> 00:22:32,153
Don't you see we're both
in the same situation?

465
00:22:32,154 --> 00:22:35,283
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

466
00:22:38,609 --> 00:22:39,449
Screw it. Shoot them all.

467
00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:40,350
One of them is him.

468
00:22:40,351 --> 00:22:41,351
Shoot every single one.

469
00:22:49,528 --> 00:22:50,107
He's not back here.

470
00:22:50,108 --> 00:22:51,054
Okay.

471
00:22:51,055 --> 00:22:51,721
Reload.

472
00:22:51,722 --> 00:22:55,355
Must be a mock jousting
bridge over sawdust canyon.

473
00:22:56,655 --> 00:22:59,134
We're both dinosaurs roaring
in vain at the mammals.

474
00:22:59,135 --> 00:23:02,434
What do you think was gonna
happen when you let Frankie Dart

475
00:23:02,435 --> 00:23:04,284
into our world?

476
00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:07,964
How much more clean can she make
the school before she notices

477
00:23:07,965 --> 00:23:09,365
the dirtiest thing of all about it.

478
00:23:11,025 --> 00:23:13,294
You think I'm a villain, but I'm not.

479
00:23:13,295 --> 00:23:17,624
I'm defending a place where we
all get to be our own heroes.

480
00:23:17,625 --> 00:23:21,645
We're all here because none
of us can have nice things.

481
00:23:21,646 --> 00:23:24,161
I thought you guys were mannequins!

482
00:23:24,162 --> 00:23:25,960
What a backfire!

483
00:23:25,961 --> 00:23:27,435
Is the money real?

484
00:23:28,665 --> 00:23:29,665
No mater who wins?

485
00:23:30,955 --> 00:23:31,955
Dean, what are you doing?

486
00:23:33,615 --> 00:23:35,194
What are you thinking about?

487
00:23:35,195 --> 00:23:36,194
I don't know, I don't know.

488
00:23:36,195 --> 00:23:37,894
He's right, Jeffrey.

489
00:23:37,895 --> 00:23:41,614
A cleaner Greendale is like
a healthier cigarette.

490
00:23:41,615 --> 00:23:42,544
Yes, a carrot stick.

491
00:23:42,545 --> 00:23:44,154
Frankie can make us a carrot stick.

492
00:23:44,155 --> 00:23:45,344
We're tobacco.

493
00:23:45,345 --> 00:23:46,814
No, we are not tobacco.

494
00:23:46,815 --> 00:23:48,284
We are Robert Downey Jr,

495
00:23:48,285 --> 00:23:50,834
he was so high he was crawling
into people's windows.

496
00:23:50,835 --> 00:23:51,842
Now he's Iron Man.

497
00:23:51,843 --> 00:23:55,604
We self destruct like this because we'd
rather be heroes than villains than

498
00:23:55,605 --> 00:23:59,744
just kind of sucky people, that need
to work a lot at getting less sucky.

499
00:23:59,745 --> 00:24:01,304
She will forgive us.

500
00:24:01,305 --> 00:24:05,364
I know her, I like her, and if she
fires either of you, I'll quit.

501
00:24:05,365 --> 00:24:08,544
She's not the enemy, she can help us.

502
00:24:08,545 --> 00:24:09,545
We just have to cool it.

503
00:24:12,354 --> 00:24:14,756
It's true, what he said.

504
00:24:14,757 --> 00:24:19,337
If you guys lower your guns, I'm
not gonna throw you a party, but

505
00:24:19,338 --> 00:24:22,354
I'm not going to get anyone fired either.

506
00:24:30,530 --> 00:24:32,992
I'll see you Monday, idiots.

507
00:24:34,816 --> 00:24:38,830
So who wins?

508
00:24:38,831 --> 00:24:39,619
What do we-. Okay,

509
00:24:39,620 --> 00:24:42,489
on the count of three we're gonna
shoot ourselves in the foot.

510
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:54,155
One, two.

511
00:24:54,156 --> 00:24:55,156
Ow.

512
00:25:04,780 --> 00:25:09,816
I'll see you guys on Monday.

513
00:25:09,817 --> 00:25:14,935
And the Pope looks at the giraffe
and says I'm in the room.

514
00:25:14,936 --> 00:25:16,444
Sorry I can't remember the whole joke.

515
00:25:16,445 --> 00:25:19,644
That's okay it sounds very
funny based on the last line.

516
00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:21,524
Frankie's gonna be here
soon we should get ready.

517
00:25:21,525 --> 00:25:23,994
We're not seriously still
doing this are we?

518
00:25:23,995 --> 00:25:27,065
We promised everyday for a
week do we want her to quit?

519
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:31,974
Good morning everyone.

520
00:25:31,975 --> 00:25:32,975
Wah.

521
00:25:34,985 --> 00:25:37,234
So, where did we leave off last time?

522
00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:38,235
Hm. Yes, sir.

523
00:25:39,785 --> 00:25:41,204
I like big trucks.

524
00:25:41,205 --> 00:25:42,734
I saw a fire truck today.

525
00:25:42,735 --> 00:25:43,424
Interesting point.

526
00:25:43,425 --> 00:25:44,564
Would anyone care to comment?

527
00:25:44,565 --> 00:25:45,364
Elroy?

528
00:25:45,365 --> 00:25:46,794
I made a stinky.

529
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:47,864
Worth considering.

530
00:25:47,865 --> 00:25:48,674
Next item?

531
00:25:48,675 --> 00:25:50,124
How do you pronounce pasketti?

532
00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:50,774
Spaghetti.

533
00:25:50,775 --> 00:25:51,534
What else?

534
00:25:51,535 --> 00:25:52,494
Can we go to the zoo?

535
00:25:52,495 --> 00:25:54,424
Well, that raises a very important point.

536
00:25:54,425 --> 00:25:59,164
We can do anything we want if, and
this is very important, if we grow up.

537
00:25:59,165 --> 00:26:00,184
All in favor?

538
00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:01,185
Wah.

539
00:26:04,191 --> 00:26:06,300
Then she starts singing about
all the places she's been.

540
00:26:06,301 --> 00:26:08,380
Which, by the way, seems
to be a total of two.

541
00:26:08,381 --> 00:26:11,308
One of which is old DC.

542
00:26:11,309 --> 00:26:13,133
Old DC.

543
00:26:13,134 --> 00:26:18,382
Okay fine, Vicki, you're a music
major, not a history major.

544
00:26:18,383 --> 00:26:21,270
And the whole mother thing, I mean the
two big feathers in her cap are that

545
00:26:21,271 --> 00:26:25,400
she hasn't let anything change her, a
triumph she shared with most animals,

546
00:26:25,401 --> 00:26:29,320
and all dirt, and the fact
that her mother died,

547
00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:33,420
which is like one thing all mother's do.

548
00:26:33,421 --> 00:26:34,193
I mean, was she a good mother?

549
00:26:34,194 --> 00:26:35,285
Did she collect stamps?

550
00:26:35,286 --> 00:26:36,213
Did she race cars?

551
00:26:36,214 --> 00:26:37,292
We don't know!

552
00:26:37,293 --> 00:26:41,151
We don't know her name, I think if you
ask Vicki the color of her mother's

553
00:26:41,152 --> 00:26:42,595
eyes, she would say dead.

554
00:26:42,596 --> 00:26:46,770
Or, maybe she would say $7 a seat.

555
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,270
It's bad man, I am telling you.

556
00:26:48,271 --> 00:26:51,011
Nobody is safe, nobody is safe.

557
00:26:52,221 --> 00:26:53,221
Blue.

558
00:27:01,345 --> 00:27:03,381
They were a very pale shade of blue.

559
00:27:06,116 --> 00:27:08,700
I'm sorry my show didn't
honor her memory properly.

560
00:27:08,701 --> 00:27:10,831
I'll try to make it up to you.

561
00:27:13,013 --> 00:27:18,522
Actually we both will a, a, at
the premier of our new show.

562
00:27:18,523 --> 00:27:24,552
Vicki and Garrett.

563
00:27:24,553 --> 00:27:26,160
Let's have a hand for
Vicki's mother everybody.

564
00:27:26,161 --> 00:27:26,781
Stand up Connie.

565
00:27:26,782 --> 00:27:29,765
Vicki's mother, Vicki's mother!

566
00:27:29,766 --> 00:27:30,766
Boo!

567
00:27:32,831 --> 00:27:34,450
We'd rather you boo.

568
00:27:34,451 --> 00:27:36,330
It means you felt something.

569
00:27:36,331 --> 00:27:36,990
That's right.

570
00:27:36,991 --> 00:27:37,840
You can boo.

571
00:27:37,841 --> 00:27:39,705
And, Andy Kaufman loved booing.

572
00:27:39,706 --> 00:27:42,820
Mm-hm.

573
00:27:42,821 --> 00:27:46,146
Then again, we did put a fair
share of work into this.

574
00:27:46,147 --> 00:27:47,482
Like, you don't have to be dicks.

575
00:28:22,576 --> 00:28:23,576
Did you get any of that?