1
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,830
Frankie, are you awake?
2
00:00:27,849 --> 00:00:30,277
I'm in bed, but I only rest
half my brain at a time. Go!
3
00:00:30,289 --> 00:00:31,317
Greendale in jeopardy.
4
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:34,497
Need to call emergency meeting,
ASAP, no time to explain.
5
00:00:34,509 --> 00:00:38,502
I can be at the school in 30 minutes,
and I'll have the Dean notify the others.
6
00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:42,564
- Could you notify the others?
- You don't think the Dean can handle it?
7
00:00:43,184 --> 00:00:44,878
Do what you think is best.
8
00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:51,456
Annie Edison requesting emergency
meeting at school in 30.
9
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,661
Greendale in trouble.
10
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:55,154
- I'll notify the others.
- I can do that if you like.
11
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,906
I think I can handle notifying
others, thank you very much.
12
00:00:59,913 --> 00:01:03,663
Annie, Jeffrey, emergency meeting
at the school in 30 minutes.
13
00:01:03,677 --> 00:01:04,897
I already know.
14
00:01:04,914 --> 00:01:06,486
I'm the one calling the meeting.
15
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,373
- What up, yo?
- Who is this other number?
16
00:01:09,379 --> 00:01:11,700
It's a group text.
I'm texting you and Jeffrey.
17
00:01:11,706 --> 00:01:15,416
It's me. I am Jeffrey,
best friend of Dean.
18
00:01:15,422 --> 00:01:17,135
Hi, Jeffrey. Hm.
19
00:01:17,141 --> 00:01:19,474
Dean, that number is not
in my phone as Jeff's,
20
00:01:19,489 --> 00:01:22,332
and it doesn't even look like
an American phone number.
21
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,423
Oh, my God. How
stupid can I get?
22
00:01:29,238 --> 00:01:32,073
You never told me you gave
Annie a fake phone number.
23
00:01:32,081 --> 00:01:36,289
Yes, Dean, this is me,
Jeffrey, you are best friend.
24
00:01:36,301 --> 00:01:37,903
Hold on, I'll cover.
25
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:43,057
You're right, I had the wrong number,
see you at the school.
26
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:46,123
I am so sorry, Jeffrey.
I hope I didn't get you in trouble.
27
00:01:46,128 --> 00:01:49,059
No worries, Dean.
I love you.
28
00:01:50,432 --> 00:01:54,432
You're always so sweet, when we're
texting, but then in real life.
29
00:01:54,438 --> 00:01:57,770
Bro, I just secret that way with love.
You know, my style.
30
00:01:57,777 --> 00:02:01,668
We keep loving in text, but
then secret forever. Meow.
31
00:02:01,681 --> 00:02:03,088
Oh, hm.
32
00:02:03,101 --> 00:02:04,491
Meow.
33
00:02:29,881 --> 00:02:37,081
sync and corrections by Caio www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 00:02:46,880
Annie, if you're not dying,
I'm gonna murder you.
35
00:02:46,885 --> 00:02:50,336
I had to remove my night
cream, it's $200 an ounce.
36
00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:53,105
It's 3 A.M. in the
fricking morning, Edison,
37
00:02:53,118 --> 00:02:54,808
what gives you the
right to haul us in here?
38
00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:57,096
Chang, how did you even
find out about this?
39
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,598
- I have a right to be here.
- Hi!
40
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:02,907
Why are you awake?
41
00:03:02,913 --> 00:03:05,735
I have a theory about this,
Britta may be secretly twins.
42
00:03:05,747 --> 00:03:07,595
- No, I was working.
- At the bar?
43
00:03:07,607 --> 00:03:11,375
- Does that mean you're drunk?
- Could a drunk person do this?
44
00:03:17,953 --> 00:03:19,414
Hi, everybody.
45
00:03:19,946 --> 00:03:21,355
Jeffrey.
46
00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:26,321
Okay, 41 minutes ago, I received this
email from a friend that interns at KZBC.
47
00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:27,335
The TV station?
48
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:31,321
No, the unrelated, totally random
combination of those four letters.
49
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,428
Meow.
50
00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:35,708
Subject: "Heads up." Annie,
still going to Greendale?
51
00:03:35,721 --> 00:03:36,742
Thought you should know,
52
00:03:36,747 --> 00:03:40,869
City College is running a negative
ad about your school at 7 A.M.
53
00:03:40,881 --> 00:03:42,845
Heard it's pretty bad.
54
00:03:42,864 --> 00:03:43,959
Let me see that.
55
00:03:43,964 --> 00:03:46,537
City College is
running an attack ad?
56
00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:48,650
- That's a first.
- They're getting desperate.
57
00:03:48,675 --> 00:03:50,611
Our registration numbers
are trending upward.
58
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,336
Because the population keeps growing,
and no one here ever graduates.
59
00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:57,364
Actually, our numbers are up because
of improvements Frankie's made.
60
00:03:57,371 --> 00:04:01,117
Those improvements, were only possible
through your hard work, Annie.
61
00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,479
- Oh, get a boardroom.
- Interesting.
62
00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:05,813
When were you gonna share
the whole truth about this,
63
00:04:05,818 --> 00:04:08,037
- and not just the parts that suit you?
- What?
64
00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:11,972
"PS: I was glad to hear
Brenda's doing better."
65
00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:14,279
Ha? Ha?
66
00:04:17,817 --> 00:04:21,421
Just because City College is scared,
doesn't mean they're not dangerous.
67
00:04:21,434 --> 00:04:24,547
Is there anything in particular
they could smear us with?
68
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,042
Nothing in particular,
69
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:29,553
just overlapping clouds of many
thousands and thousands of things.
70
00:04:29,565 --> 00:04:32,486
- Let's not forget the Brenda factor.
- There isn't a Brenda factor.
71
00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:35,913
He says she's doing better.
Better than what?
72
00:04:35,926 --> 00:04:38,393
Her thyroid condition!
Can you focus?
73
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,806
Can Brenda?
74
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,072
Probably more so, now.
75
00:04:41,085 --> 00:04:43,115
Okay, we need to see
this ad before it airs.
76
00:04:43,134 --> 00:04:44,181
I'm working on
getting us a copy.
77
00:04:44,187 --> 00:04:46,272
I have friends in the AV
department at City College.
78
00:04:46,278 --> 00:04:47,145
Ooh la la.
79
00:04:47,151 --> 00:04:49,548
The brotherhood of AV exists
beyond your petty factionalism.
80
00:04:49,561 --> 00:04:52,567
We serve only video, the one true
queen, and her faithful consort, audio.
81
00:04:52,574 --> 00:04:54,094
Oh, could you guys
be bigger nerds?
82
00:04:54,107 --> 00:04:56,067
No, most of us have achieved
our maximum potential.
83
00:04:56,073 --> 00:04:57,026
Well, Annie's right.
84
00:04:57,033 --> 00:05:02,317
We do have a situation here, so we
will make this our situation room.
85
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,138
Yes.
86
00:05:03,163 --> 00:05:05,877
We need whiteboards,
corkboards, laptops.
87
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,811
A bunch of clocks with different
times on them, a red phone,
88
00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:10,417
a big tabletop map with little
Nazi tanks, and/or a Godzilla.
89
00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:12,046
The ad airs at 7 A.M.
90
00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:15,724
That means we have four
hours and 13 minutes
91
00:05:15,737 --> 00:05:18,265
to figure out what they're
throwing at us and how to respond.
92
00:05:18,271 --> 00:05:19,772
You know,
it's the darndest thing,
93
00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:22,249
I think Britta somehow
crapped in my pants too.
94
00:05:22,262 --> 00:05:23,645
Uh-huh, better head home.
95
00:05:23,651 --> 00:05:25,437
Jeff, you can't just
leave a situation room.
96
00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:28,611
It's only a situation room,
because she called it that.
97
00:05:28,617 --> 00:05:30,637
I mean I could declare it a...
98
00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:31,831
- Cookie room!
- [GASPS]
99
00:05:31,849 --> 00:05:35,190
There are no cookies.
There is a situation.
100
00:05:35,197 --> 00:05:39,360
You guys, where's the Greendale spirit!
Where's the pride?
101
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,329
- I'm fine.
- Found it.
102
00:05:41,785 --> 00:05:44,918
She was wandering around
campus, without pants.
103
00:05:45,671 --> 00:05:47,770
- What's going on in here?
- Situation room.
104
00:05:47,776 --> 00:05:50,096
- What's the situation?
- Brenda's got a bad thyroid.
105
00:05:50,102 --> 00:05:51,987
I'm sorry to hear that.
You can keep the pants.
106
00:05:51,999 --> 00:05:54,098
- I'm going back to bed.
- I'm going with him.
107
00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:55,851
- I'm gonna watch.
- Got it!
108
00:05:55,858 --> 00:05:56,811
Downloading it now.
109
00:05:56,818 --> 00:05:58,564
You work hard to earn
your degree,
110
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:01,393
and your school should work hard
to make that degree valuable.
111
00:06:01,398 --> 00:06:04,506
So, why is Greendale Community
College giving degrees to dogs?
112
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,468
In 2001, a Staffordshire
terrier mix named Ruffles
113
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,652
took up residence on
Greendale's campus.
114
00:06:09,659 --> 00:06:12,619
By 2008, Ruffles had
earned a Bachelor's Degree.
115
00:06:12,631 --> 00:06:15,704
Not a two year degree,
a four year degree.
116
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,227
Where will you get your degree?
117
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:20,514
If the answer is Greendale,
prepare to get boned.
118
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,514
Paid for by City
College, license 264392.
119
00:06:27,215 --> 00:06:30,802
Did we give a degree to a dog?
120
00:06:34,039 --> 00:06:37,447
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Okay, it's okay, it's all right.
121
00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:45,858
So, this is Greendale,
not City College?
122
00:06:47,729 --> 00:06:49,270
I'm gonna get more pants.
123
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,353
They've been calling me in to do more
stuff lately. It's pretty exciting.
124
00:07:01,366 --> 00:07:03,368
Well trust me, we'll be lucky if
we get in three words before...
125
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,801
The first step is
to pull our facts.
126
00:07:05,813 --> 00:07:08,610
The most important one
being, Dean Pelton,
127
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,952
did Greendale Community College
give a degree to a dog?
128
00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:17,543
I seem to recall, no.
129
00:07:17,556 --> 00:07:20,000
No way. There's absolutely
no way.
130
00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:20,873
Not that dog.
131
00:07:20,892 --> 00:07:23,533
- That dog?
- You remember the dog.
132
00:07:23,552 --> 00:07:27,551
- Was it enrolled in classes?
- Hm.
133
00:07:27,565 --> 00:07:29,251
How are these hard questions?
134
00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:32,128
Why, are these the questions
you're asking?
135
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:34,809
You don't wanna know, if
a dog got a degree here?
136
00:07:34,816 --> 00:07:36,236
It's not important.
137
00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:37,778
What I wanna know is,
138
00:07:37,803 --> 00:07:41,203
did a dog get a degree here,
in any way that can be proven?
139
00:07:41,217 --> 00:07:45,583
- Ooh, I like that, Jeffrey.
- I don't like that! I like the truth.
140
00:07:45,589 --> 00:07:47,009
Play lawyer on your own time.
141
00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:50,269
This is my own time.
You wanted me invested?
142
00:07:50,276 --> 00:07:52,650
Well, this dump
cuts my paychecks,
143
00:07:52,663 --> 00:07:55,462
and I've got three
hours to defend it.
144
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,938
So, how many seconds of
that should I waste on truth,
145
00:07:57,952 --> 00:08:01,303
which is an artificial construct
that rarely holds up in court,
146
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,737
and has never changed
the outcome of a fight.
147
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,529
- I'm sorry you have to see him like this.
- Well, he is right about one thing,
148
00:08:07,541 --> 00:08:10,092
if City College can't
support their claim,
149
00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:12,731
it's libel, we can have
the station pull the ad,
150
00:08:12,756 --> 00:08:15,849
but that is precisely why
the truth does matter.
151
00:08:15,855 --> 00:08:19,105
- The Brenda paradox.
- I found the dog.
152
00:08:19,117 --> 00:08:20,891
I also found a lot of people's
social security numbers.
153
00:08:20,897 --> 00:08:23,428
- You know, this incident's gone to far.
- Yeah.
154
00:08:24,446 --> 00:08:26,932
This says she's registered
as a border terrier.
155
00:08:26,952 --> 00:08:29,125
- They said Staffordshire in the commercial.
- Isn't that something?
156
00:08:29,131 --> 00:08:32,652
I mean we've known this animal 30
seconds and she's already unreliable.
157
00:08:32,658 --> 00:08:34,461
Who is the real Ruffles?
158
00:08:34,466 --> 00:08:37,818
I'm sorry. Our strategy
is to go after the dog?
159
00:08:37,831 --> 00:08:42,018
Our strategy is denial, which
includes discrediting the source.
160
00:08:42,024 --> 00:08:43,797
Abed, can you make one
of those attack ads?
161
00:08:43,804 --> 00:08:47,079
Jeff wants me to make me an attack ad.
So, why is he a pedophile?
162
00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:52,225
- Just demonstrating the formula.
- You can refine your technique as you go.
163
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,289
I wanna know everything
about this Ruffles,
164
00:08:55,307 --> 00:08:57,868
she thinks she went
to this school, fine.
165
00:08:57,873 --> 00:09:00,854
But, maybe she thinks
cat turds are delicious.
166
00:09:00,866 --> 00:09:04,512
And maybe she barks just a
little bit more, at black mailmen.
167
00:09:04,518 --> 00:09:06,624
And she's spayed now,
168
00:09:06,641 --> 00:09:08,058
but how many puppies
are out there?
169
00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:10,435
If you do this, we're no
better than City College.
170
00:09:10,448 --> 00:09:14,726
We've never been better than City College.
We gave a degree to a dog.
171
00:09:14,738 --> 00:09:17,506
Allegedly, this
conversation is privileged.
172
00:09:17,512 --> 00:09:20,937
I could do a Banksy
style stencil of a dog,
173
00:09:20,962 --> 00:09:22,542
and spray paint it
all over a school.
174
00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:23,675
That sounds great!
175
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:27,483
But first, why don't you go get
a bunch of coffee, drink all of it,
176
00:09:27,489 --> 00:09:29,886
then go get some more
and bring it back here.
177
00:09:29,899 --> 00:09:31,632
- I actually love that idea.
- Mm-hm.
178
00:09:31,643 --> 00:09:33,019
I'll go with her.
179
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,627
She's wearing my pants.
180
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:39,253
I know this is crazy, but I'm gonna
check the school records to see if,
181
00:09:39,272 --> 00:09:42,013
you know, we gave
a degree to a dog.
182
00:09:42,032 --> 00:09:43,100
- We didn't.
- That's good.
183
00:09:43,106 --> 00:09:45,851
You guys go find that
truth you love so much.
184
00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:48,085
If it's the kind we can
use, bring it back.
185
00:09:48,098 --> 00:09:50,942
If not, you know,
stuff gets lost.
186
00:09:50,962 --> 00:09:54,581
No. No. Bad! We are
better than City College.
187
00:09:54,587 --> 00:09:55,811
We always have been.
188
00:09:55,825 --> 00:10:00,001
Which is why I know, that we
did not give a degree to a dog.
189
00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:05,745
Oh.
190
00:10:09,457 --> 00:10:11,612
I say we fight fire with fire.
191
00:10:11,617 --> 00:10:15,836
City College try to embarrass us?
We should embarrass them, right?
192
00:10:15,842 --> 00:10:19,149
- Right. - I say I go to City
College with a camera,
193
00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:22,663
shoot a really gross porno movie
on their campus and put it online.
194
00:10:22,676 --> 00:10:24,392
- Fine.
- Cool.
195
00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:27,761
Wait, what?
196
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:36,700
It's very inspiring
to watch you work.
197
00:10:36,705 --> 00:10:39,309
You are inspiring, too.
198
00:10:40,716 --> 00:10:41,976
In what way?
199
00:10:42,656 --> 00:10:45,645
I need olives, can
you bring me olives?
200
00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:49,158
Not again. You did
this a month ago.
201
00:10:49,171 --> 00:10:52,855
Then I brought them to you, and
you acted like you hated them.
202
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:57,228
It's only my style to be secret,
please bring me five can of olives.
203
00:10:57,943 --> 00:10:59,696
Five cans?
204
00:10:59,703 --> 00:11:04,982
But don't believe me if I say I don't
like. I'm just pretending I hate olives.
205
00:11:12,523 --> 00:11:16,888
Honestly? I couldn't care less
if they gave a dog a degree.
206
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:18,658
Me neither.
207
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,159
In fact, I kinda hope they did.
208
00:11:22,179 --> 00:11:24,321
- Well, why is that?
- I don't know.
209
00:11:24,328 --> 00:11:26,781
They all treat me
like I'm a joke.
210
00:11:26,788 --> 00:11:30,680
But if a dog got a degree,
that means we're all a joke.
211
00:11:30,687 --> 00:11:31,798
Mm.
212
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:33,350
Whoa.
213
00:11:34,346 --> 00:11:36,893
Natalie is Freezing?
214
00:11:36,899 --> 00:11:39,505
- You know them?
- Yeah of course I know. But how do you?
215
00:11:39,511 --> 00:11:40,258
- You're...
- Black?
216
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,698
No. Old.
217
00:11:42,381 --> 00:11:46,556
Oh, I'm sorry I just meant that,
when I was into them I was like 15.
218
00:11:46,562 --> 00:11:47,876
I was like 40.
219
00:11:47,889 --> 00:11:50,147
I never really listened to
music, when I was growing up.
220
00:11:50,153 --> 00:11:52,438
I was in my own world,
221
00:11:52,456 --> 00:11:55,164
but one day at work,
I heard this sound.
222
00:11:55,171 --> 00:11:57,515
It was Pillar of Garbage.
223
00:11:57,522 --> 00:12:00,642
Oh, that is their best song.
Best song.
224
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:01,788
I've got it right here.
225
00:12:01,812 --> 00:12:03,897
- Would you play it?
- Yeah.
226
00:12:03,922 --> 00:12:07,060
[MUSIC]
227
00:12:08,825 --> 00:12:10,825
♪ Moonlight ♪
228
00:12:11,402 --> 00:12:13,920
♪ Bleeding glass
and healing needles ♪
229
00:12:13,938 --> 00:12:17,154
♪ Amputated hearts
are never whole ♪
230
00:12:18,998 --> 00:12:20,997
♪ Too bright ♪
231
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,134
♪ Dreaming as the screaming
seagulls ♪
232
00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:27,395
♪ Feed on parts of
me I keep below ♪
233
00:12:27,407 --> 00:12:30,200
♪ Oh oh Orion ♪
234
00:12:30,551 --> 00:12:31,818
♪ Take off your belt and ♪
235
00:12:31,843 --> 00:12:34,198
♪ Let me go to where
you've been ♪
236
00:12:34,223 --> 00:12:36,783
♪ I'm flying overhead and ♪
237
00:12:36,794 --> 00:12:40,348
♪ Buffalo are falling
dead inside ♪
238
00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:43,971
You know, you know what?
239
00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:45,878
You know, those guys are
going to need coffee
240
00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:48,123
if they're going to keep that
dog from having a degree.
241
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:52,459
There are things at, at stake here.
I, I get that now.
242
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:58,093
I found the smell.
243
00:12:58,106 --> 00:12:59,900
Someone filed a taco.
244
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:03,996
Things that will otherwise get
filed straight to my thighs.
245
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,409
Hm,
246
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,864
so I know you agree with me
that we need to find the truth,
247
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,916
but do you agree that the
truth won't be horrible?
248
00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:16,927
I'm not psychic Annie, that's an illusion
caused by extreme preparedness.
249
00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:18,729
But, what do you hope is true?
250
00:13:18,742 --> 00:13:21,890
Oh, God, no, I never hope.
Hope is pouting in advance.
251
00:13:21,897 --> 00:13:24,417
Hope is faith's richer,
bitchier sister.
252
00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:29,254
Hope is the deformed attic bound incest
monster offspring of entitlement and fear.
253
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,567
My life results tripled
the year I gave up hope
254
00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:34,424
and every game on my phone that
had anything to do with farming.
255
00:13:34,436 --> 00:13:38,241
What's true will be true, Annie.
Our job is to deal with that truth.
256
00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:42,350
- You sound a little like Jeff.
- Jeff said I sound like Abed.
257
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,786
I wonder if Britta thinks
I sound like Chang.
258
00:13:44,792 --> 00:13:49,011
I assume Chang thinks I sound like
distant explosions and crying babies,
259
00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:51,524
- you know, he's unstable, right?
- Yep.
260
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:53,719
Oh,
261
00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:55,988
a transcript for Ruffles.
262
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,747
You think that's our guy?
263
00:13:58,492 --> 00:13:59,891
I do.
264
00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,435
Oh my God.
265
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,188
So many classes.
266
00:14:10,213 --> 00:14:14,811
- See what hope does?
- Screw you, Frankie!
267
00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:16,946
I'm sorry, Annie.
268
00:14:16,971 --> 00:14:18,972
But I don't think you're
seeing this for what it is.
269
00:14:18,985 --> 00:14:24,462
It's a transcript for a dog.
A really, really long one!
270
00:14:24,475 --> 00:14:27,478
It's proof that Jeff was right.
This school has no value.
271
00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,843
Yeah, but this folder
has no degree.
272
00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:31,040
Look.
273
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,928
What's that?
274
00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,195
Victory.
275
00:14:35,201 --> 00:14:37,648
You know, within
the context of Greendale.
276
00:14:39,288 --> 00:14:41,745
- Would it be better if we...
- No.
277
00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,879
- Never know until you try.
- Never know until I try.
278
00:14:43,885 --> 00:14:45,494
- What?
- I said we're quite a team.
279
00:14:45,507 --> 00:14:47,610
Here's the coffee.
280
00:14:48,181 --> 00:14:50,181
Let me know if there's anything
else I can do to help.
281
00:14:50,191 --> 00:14:52,171
We could use some fresh
eyes on this cut.
282
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,167
- We could? - Has anyone told you
you're difficult to work with?
283
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:56,032
Everyone in your line of work.
284
00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:58,481
This is Ruffles.
285
00:14:58,494 --> 00:15:01,396
She'd like you to believe she's a college
graduate and a good girl.
286
00:15:01,408 --> 00:15:03,438
But Ruffles is anything, but...
287
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:06,314
When Ruffles moved into
her neighborhood in 2007,
288
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,789
dead squirrels went up by 17%.
289
00:15:08,797 --> 00:15:09,672
Coincidence?
290
00:15:09,686 --> 00:15:11,286
Ask this bunny.
291
00:15:11,292 --> 00:15:15,309
Ruffles stole cookies from a Girl Scout,
impersonated a lobster,
292
00:15:15,322 --> 00:15:17,930
has had 27 children with
five different fathers,
293
00:15:17,943 --> 00:15:20,437
and, according to one
local doctor, has worms.
294
00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:22,510
Ruffles might claim she doesn't.
295
00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:24,524
Ruffles claims a lot of things,
296
00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:28,174
maybe that's why Ruffles once
spent time on death row.
297
00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:32,573
Ruffles, not a lobster, not
a student, not a good dog.
298
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:34,637
Paid for by humanity
versus Ruffles.
299
00:15:35,464 --> 00:15:37,915
I originally wanted the voice-over
to be a James Earl Jones impersonator,
300
00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:40,402
but the James Spader impersonator
turned out pretty good.
301
00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:43,311
I do wish he'd leave, though.
302
00:15:45,222 --> 00:15:47,034
- You really let that dog have it.
- Yeah.
303
00:15:47,050 --> 00:15:50,585
Which I, I realize,
is important now.
304
00:15:50,598 --> 00:15:53,105
- Is it okay if I crash on...
- Yeah. Yes. Yes.
305
00:16:00,022 --> 00:16:01,749
- What are you doing?
- Nothing at all.
306
00:16:01,755 --> 00:16:04,659
I wouldn't say that. You just put
five huge cans of olives next to me.
307
00:16:05,262 --> 00:16:07,329
Just something
I felt like doing.
308
00:16:08,236 --> 00:16:10,143
This isn't the first
time you've done this.
309
00:16:12,249 --> 00:16:14,461
I'm really confused by this.
310
00:16:16,235 --> 00:16:18,480
- Is it code for something?
- I don't know.
311
00:16:19,439 --> 00:16:20,945
And I don't care.
312
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,697
Jackpot, relative to Greendale.
313
00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:31,236
My God, look at the course
load, this dog was an animal.
314
00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:32,788
Most of them were
attendance based.
315
00:16:32,795 --> 00:16:34,438
How is this good news?
316
00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:37,724
Unpaid library fees, 15 dollars,
317
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:40,471
diploma withheld until
payment remitted.
318
00:16:40,954 --> 00:16:43,841
No degree, the commercial's a lie.
319
00:16:43,846 --> 00:16:46,234
I'm gonna call the station right
now and have them pull the ad.
320
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,674
Eat crap Ruffles,
and not just your own.
321
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,849
- Guys, let it go.
- What are you talking about?
322
00:16:51,855 --> 00:16:55,099
The sad truth is that a dog
can get a degree here.
323
00:16:55,112 --> 00:16:57,146
Yeah, but the happy
truth is none did.
324
00:16:57,152 --> 00:16:59,840
There's a difference
between truth and honesty.
325
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,240
Library dues? Who cares!
326
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,020
Ruffles put the work in
relative to Greendale.
327
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,627
That City College ad
may be technically a lie,
328
00:17:09,632 --> 00:17:13,480
but it's really dishonest
to kill it on a technicality.
329
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,456
And dragging this dog's
name through the mud?
330
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,820
That's worse than dishonest.
That's evil!
331
00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:21,476
Evil? I'll cop to silly.
332
00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:24,427
Somethings are silly and
evil, like candy cigarettes.
333
00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:27,183
And remember when Flava
Flav had that reality show?
334
00:17:27,197 --> 00:17:28,879
I don't own a TV.
335
00:17:32,149 --> 00:17:36,356
Honestly, I think the most honest
thing we can do right now.
336
00:17:36,362 --> 00:17:39,725
The only thing that will make
us better then City College,
337
00:17:39,731 --> 00:17:42,893
is to let that ad run
and take our lumps.
338
00:17:43,349 --> 00:17:47,460
Annie, this started with me sleeping
and getting yelled at for not helping.
339
00:17:47,473 --> 00:17:50,620
If it ends with you yelling at me for
not sleeping, that's not a story,
340
00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:52,667
that's a German art film.
341
00:17:54,371 --> 00:17:55,358
Let, let it go.
342
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:58,910
I am a female student being physically
overpowered by a male teacher.
343
00:17:58,923 --> 00:18:01,292
Damn it! Britta, get her.
344
00:18:02,502 --> 00:18:03,349
Frankie, get her!
345
00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:06,742
Annie, sweetie, think
about this practically.
346
00:18:06,755 --> 00:18:08,684
If being better
than City College
347
00:18:08,702 --> 00:18:11,416
means letting them destroy
us then what is the point?
348
00:18:11,429 --> 00:18:16,009
If surviving means being like them,
what's the point?
349
00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:21,298
Why not let one school die, and enroll
at the one where my grades matter.
350
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,702
If those are your terms.
351
00:18:24,708 --> 00:18:27,759
If the price of that transcript
is you transferring?
352
00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:35,388
We accept.
353
00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:37,522
Personally, I hope
you're bluffing.
354
00:18:38,886 --> 00:18:41,190
Yeah, well, here's what
hope gets you.
355
00:18:41,734 --> 00:18:43,684
Hope and $1.49 will
get you a candy bar.
356
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,181
- Buck 79.
- Are you serious? Jesus!
357
00:18:47,431 --> 00:18:53,615
Have fun with your lying,
cheating, dog smearing,
358
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:58,288
truth blurring, trouser
swapping school.
359
00:19:00,508 --> 00:19:02,842
I remember when candy
bars were 50 cents.
360
00:19:03,381 --> 00:19:06,714
If someone says, hey,
I just joined Mensa.
361
00:19:06,727 --> 00:19:09,777
Or I consider myself a
postmodern this or that.
362
00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:12,963
You could say, yeah, that and $0.50
could get you a candy bar,
363
00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:16,023
or that and a quarter
could get you a phone call.
364
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:19,273
It was easy to be
unimpressed back then.
365
00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:22,534
I mean it was,
literally, cheaper.
366
00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:24,930
All right, we're kinda
bummed out right now.
367
00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:27,372
- Annie has just left.
- Oh,
368
00:19:29,017 --> 00:19:30,768
were you guys close?
369
00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:59,316
- Abed, I don't wanna talk right now.
- Okay.
370
00:20:02,719 --> 00:20:04,918
Just so you know, the Greendale
ad is gonna go up any time now.
371
00:20:04,931 --> 00:20:07,351
- I thought you might want to see it.
- You know I don't to be a part of that.
372
00:20:07,357 --> 00:20:08,630
Just trust me.
373
00:20:13,693 --> 00:20:15,001
This is Ruffles.
374
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:17,774
Ruffles was a student at
Greendale Community College,
375
00:20:17,787 --> 00:20:21,531
she came really close to getting a degree,
which means two things.
376
00:20:21,544 --> 00:20:23,749
She's an exceptional dog,
377
00:20:23,774 --> 00:20:26,925
and Greendale really needs
to get its shit together.
378
00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:29,224
We're working on it.
We're working hard.
379
00:20:29,237 --> 00:20:31,868
And the good news is,
when you work hard at Greendale,
380
00:20:31,881 --> 00:20:35,864
no matter who or what
you are, it pays off.
381
00:20:36,428 --> 00:20:37,596
Right, Ruffles?
382
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:39,234
Jesus.
383
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,747
Greendale Community College.
You're already accepted.
384
00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:49,873
You guys I knew you
wouldn't do that to Ruffles.
385
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,207
- You hoped.
- I hoped and it worked.
386
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:54,844
- Hope points.
- Hope points.
387
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:56,132
You do understand
that what we did,
388
00:20:56,157 --> 00:20:58,448
was also just the most
prudent tactical move,
389
00:20:58,461 --> 00:21:01,018
getting in front of the scandal,
Letterman style.
390
00:21:01,037 --> 00:21:03,687
Yes, Jeff, don't worry.
391
00:21:04,204 --> 00:21:06,815
I promise I'll never mistake
you for having a heart.
392
00:21:06,821 --> 00:21:08,101
- Thank you.
- Mhm-mm.
393
00:21:08,121 --> 00:21:10,220
Kiss City College goodbye.
394
00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:11,567
I did it.
395
00:21:11,592 --> 00:21:13,862
- Did what?
- That stuff we talked about.
396
00:21:15,152 --> 00:21:17,614
- Who are you?
- I'm the plumber?
397
00:21:17,628 --> 00:21:19,627
- Why?
- Here's why!
398
00:21:19,648 --> 00:21:21,243
- Oh.
- Oh, God.
399
00:21:21,268 --> 00:21:22,760
Aw.
400
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,442
- This is pornography?
- Doy.
401
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,258
- You're the only actor.
- So?
402
00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:33,830
- What kind of lens is this?
- Who cares?
403
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,846
You might be a genius.
404
00:21:37,273 --> 00:21:38,080
Why did you do this?
405
00:21:38,085 --> 00:21:41,940
What parent is going to let their kid
go to a school if a porn got shot there?
406
00:21:41,946 --> 00:21:44,273
But you shot in front of a plaster
wall that could be anywhere.
407
00:21:44,292 --> 00:21:46,297
And you're wearing your
Greendale T-shirt.
408
00:21:46,310 --> 00:21:52,068
Okay genius, but the title
is Chang does Greendale,
409
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,304
oh wait.
410
00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,401
Reshoots.
411
00:22:54,236 --> 00:22:56,454
The Dean? Hellos?
412
00:22:56,997 --> 00:22:59,144
Are you in trouble?
Is everything okay?
413
00:22:59,163 --> 00:23:02,582
Is life hard everywhere?
Is everyone alone?
414
00:23:02,588 --> 00:23:06,175
All the time. Are you at home Jeffrey?
Should I come over?
415
00:23:06,188 --> 00:23:09,353
You cannot come to me.
I must confession you...
416
00:23:09,372 --> 00:23:10,440
I am not Jeffrey.
417
00:23:10,459 --> 00:23:13,265
I understand. I rarely
know who I am.
418
00:23:13,272 --> 00:23:16,434
- No, I mean I am not Jeffrey.
- Let it out.
419
00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:19,125
I am Takashi. I am
teenage boy in Tokyo.
420
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:22,088
I think we all are sometimes.
421
00:23:22,113 --> 00:23:25,953
I am sorry for making fun before,
but now I need a friend.
422
00:23:25,968 --> 00:23:28,481
Why don't I bring you some
olives tomorrow, Jeffrey?
423
00:23:28,495 --> 00:23:32,649
- I am not Jeffrey!
- I am not the Dean!
424
00:23:37,253 --> 00:23:40,171
I often think about that night.
425
00:23:40,184 --> 00:23:43,713
Such a small event,
but ultimately...
426
00:23:43,725 --> 00:23:47,872
the moment that would
lead me to becoming loban.
427
00:23:48,527 --> 00:23:51,350
Highest the leader
of the Yakuza.
428
00:23:52,949 --> 00:23:59,949
sync and corrections by Caio www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther