1 00:00:01,013 --> 00:00:02,780 Chomsky, come here. 2 00:00:02,793 --> 00:00:04,320 Come here, Chomsky. 3 00:00:04,335 --> 00:00:07,210 - Abed, I'm really sorry. - I told you cats don't like me. 4 00:00:07,217 --> 00:00:09,724 They consider me a competitor because of my natural stealth and ambivalence. 5 00:00:09,742 --> 00:00:13,281 Oh-oh, did she get high again and forget she doesn't wear contacts? 6 00:00:13,294 --> 00:00:15,270 Before Britta moved her cats into our apartment, 7 00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:18,286 she wanted to introduce them to us on neutral ground. 8 00:00:19,234 --> 00:00:21,167 One of them scratched Abed and ran under the couch. 9 00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:23,307 Oh, I'll get it. Cats love me. 10 00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:25,565 - What? Are you sure? - Mm-hm. 11 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:27,595 [SOUND] 12 00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:29,126 Hello there. 13 00:00:29,635 --> 00:00:32,233 Well, she is. Is it a he or a she? 14 00:00:32,245 --> 00:00:33,326 - He. - Well, 15 00:00:33,338 --> 00:00:36,022 he's really got his teeth in my flesh right now. 16 00:00:37,418 --> 00:00:38,923 Okay, he's touching bone. 17 00:00:38,937 --> 00:00:40,561 [BLANK_AUDIO] 18 00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:41,919 I'm just waiting for him to finish up. 19 00:00:41,932 --> 00:00:43,644 Not a lot I can do at this point. 20 00:00:45,108 --> 00:00:46,863 This was a pretty big mistake. 21 00:00:47,828 --> 00:00:49,516 Okay. This is done. 22 00:00:51,982 --> 00:00:53,266 Oh. 23 00:00:53,896 --> 00:00:56,555 See you tomorrow. I'm pretty embarrassed about this. 24 00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,131 Chomsky. 25 00:00:58,144 --> 00:01:01,112 I didn't know Britta was moving in with Annie and Abed. 26 00:01:01,124 --> 00:01:02,204 - That's... - Expository? 27 00:01:02,211 --> 00:01:05,498 Yeah, Britta's fallen on hard times and our apartment is the cheapest game in town. 28 00:01:05,504 --> 00:01:09,473 Abed, it's a little embarrassing when you put it that way. 29 00:01:10,325 --> 00:01:12,018 Britta's a rich genius with super powers 30 00:01:12,043 --> 00:01:14,563 and she's gonna live on our sofa for no reason. 31 00:01:14,582 --> 00:01:15,297 Oh, no. 32 00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:17,910 Dinosaurs. My tax documents. 33 00:01:17,916 --> 00:01:19,537 Facts about Native Americans. 34 00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:20,583 [LAUGH] 35 00:01:20,608 --> 00:01:21,515 Just kidding. 36 00:01:21,521 --> 00:01:24,953 Guess what I just purchased for the school from a local manufacturer, 37 00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:28,964 Greendale's first virtual reality operating system. 38 00:01:29,377 --> 00:01:32,504 Did Greendale need a virtual reality system? 39 00:01:32,523 --> 00:01:35,263 Uh, like a hole in the head. 40 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,550 A hole in the head is something that you don't need. 41 00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:41,197 She said through a huge hole in her head. 42 00:01:41,645 --> 00:01:43,412 Didn't VR go out in the 90s? 43 00:01:43,417 --> 00:01:46,473 The last people I saw using it were in the Honeycomb Hideout. 44 00:01:46,479 --> 00:01:47,979 We mock what we don't understand. 45 00:01:47,986 --> 00:01:49,964 - We also mock what's silly. - Jeffrey. 46 00:01:49,971 --> 00:01:51,670 Abed, you're more machine than man. 47 00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,750 You wanna give me a hand setting up the equipment after lunch? 48 00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:56,129 We're all going to help Britta move into our place today. 49 00:01:57,565 --> 00:01:59,612 - Jeffrey? - Britta, something's come up. 50 00:01:59,631 --> 00:02:01,393 - I'd love to. - Oh, yeah, yeah, 51 00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:03,708 at least you don't have to bust out your usual excuse. 52 00:02:03,727 --> 00:02:05,488 You don't know for sure that I'm not a veteran, 53 00:02:05,513 --> 00:02:08,280 and nobody can say for sure that today isn't Veteran's Day. 54 00:02:08,286 --> 00:02:10,138 Hi. I got bit by a cat. 55 00:02:10,157 --> 00:02:11,863 Chang, we know. 56 00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:16,026 Why are you guys and all these books in the nurse's office? 57 00:02:17,975 --> 00:02:20,850 [MUSIC] 58 00:02:40,713 --> 00:02:48,139 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 59 00:02:48,164 --> 00:02:52,181 Dean, where did you get this, and for how much of the school's money? 60 00:02:52,186 --> 00:02:54,566 Ah, relax, my little bean countess. 61 00:02:54,579 --> 00:02:57,996 - Don't worry about it. - You pay me to worry about that. 62 00:02:58,002 --> 00:02:59,949 Oh, and how much do I pay you? 63 00:02:59,966 --> 00:03:00,736 That's you. 64 00:03:00,755 --> 00:03:03,537 It was only $5000. 65 00:03:03,557 --> 00:03:04,590 What? 66 00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:06,889 Frankie, jack me up. 67 00:03:08,018 --> 00:03:11,341 I would like to see this company's website. 68 00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:13,662 - Can I use your computer? - Sure. 69 00:03:13,675 --> 00:03:20,339 Have fun in the Stone Age while I step into the third dean-mension. 70 00:03:20,345 --> 00:03:21,846 Width? 71 00:03:21,865 --> 00:03:23,488 Read the instructions, analog man. 72 00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,896 When entering virtual reality, 73 00:03:24,907 --> 00:03:28,597 you should calibrate the system by looking at your own hands, 74 00:03:28,604 --> 00:03:31,845 then turning them over and looking at the backs of them 75 00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:34,771 - with a sense of wonder. - Roger that. 76 00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:37,039 [BEEPS] 77 00:03:37,058 --> 00:03:40,499 Welcome to the VirtuGood 6500. 78 00:03:41,385 --> 00:03:42,609 Oh. 79 00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:46,004 Initiate calibration. 80 00:03:46,447 --> 00:03:48,781 It's-It's incredible. 81 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,720 I can see all around. 82 00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:56,005 I gotta take a closer look at these structures, they're... 83 00:03:57,213 --> 00:03:58,133 [LAUGH] 84 00:03:58,144 --> 00:03:59,998 I'm walking! 85 00:04:01,014 --> 00:04:02,675 I am walking. 86 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,686 [LAUGH] 87 00:04:06,057 --> 00:04:07,091 My God. 88 00:04:07,108 --> 00:04:11,548 [RUMBLING] 89 00:04:14,747 --> 00:04:16,756 I know what this is. 90 00:04:21,482 --> 00:04:22,695 [LAUGHS] 91 00:04:23,037 --> 00:04:25,037 I set the time zone. 92 00:04:25,061 --> 00:04:27,682 I set the time zone. 93 00:04:27,691 --> 00:04:29,371 And my phone does that automatically. 94 00:04:29,389 --> 00:04:31,708 I'm gonna see if I can make the font bigger. 95 00:04:40,368 --> 00:04:42,690 The font is larger. 96 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:45,253 And Jesus wept, 97 00:04:45,264 --> 00:04:48,207 for there were no more worlds to conquer. 98 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,760 Thank you, guys, again, so much. 99 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,266 I know that I already owe you you money 100 00:04:57,284 --> 00:05:00,262 but I want you to know that I got a new bartending job with better hours 101 00:05:00,287 --> 00:05:03,914 and free corn nuts which I feel like have a small but significant resale value. 102 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,346 I feel like everybody's talking about that haircut I gave Vicki, so... 103 00:05:08,897 --> 00:05:10,545 Oh, Britta. 104 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:11,617 - Can I... - It's okay. 105 00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:12,697 Do I do this too? Okay. 106 00:05:12,722 --> 00:05:14,619 This is going to be good for all of us, right? 107 00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,565 It's like a fresh start. 108 00:05:17,362 --> 00:05:18,922 Oh, did you guys get a new couch? 109 00:05:18,935 --> 00:05:20,924 We got it for you. It has a pull-out. 110 00:05:20,943 --> 00:05:23,307 You guys. 111 00:05:23,914 --> 00:05:25,277 I wanted a Murphy bed for shenanigans 112 00:05:25,302 --> 00:05:27,450 but the cost to shenanigan ratio was too high. 113 00:05:27,475 --> 00:05:29,005 How did you guys afford this? 114 00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:30,551 Ah, don't worry. 115 00:05:30,557 --> 00:05:33,127 - We got a good deal. - For pick up, Perry. 116 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,932 Why's my name on here? 117 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,969 Because we got it for you. 118 00:05:37,983 --> 00:05:39,331 And we told the sales guy that. 119 00:05:39,337 --> 00:05:40,023 So. 120 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:43,001 So he put your friend's name on the delivery slip? 121 00:05:43,014 --> 00:05:44,856 That seems weird, right? 122 00:05:44,864 --> 00:05:47,678 [BLANK_AUDIO] 123 00:05:49,343 --> 00:05:52,430 - Roommate movie night! - Roommate movie night, yay! 124 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,398 - Portuguese Gremlins. - Portuguese Gremlins, ooh. 125 00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:59,372 It's Portugal's answer to Gremlins if Gremlins' question was 126 00:05:59,397 --> 00:06:01,283 how can you totally rip us off without spending any money 127 00:06:01,308 --> 00:06:02,530 and having watched us maybe twice? 128 00:06:02,549 --> 00:06:04,143 [SOUND] 129 00:06:04,168 --> 00:06:05,615 That's what the Portuguese Gremlins say, right? 130 00:06:05,628 --> 00:06:06,862 It's close enough. 131 00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:08,380 [SOUND] 132 00:06:09,175 --> 00:06:14,665 [GRUNTS] 133 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,471 I did it. 134 00:06:16,496 --> 00:06:17,856 It's 2:39. 135 00:06:17,863 --> 00:06:20,375 That was the time when you started setting the time. 136 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:23,388 - It's 20 minutes later now. - The power. 137 00:06:23,394 --> 00:06:24,981 The facility. 138 00:06:24,994 --> 00:06:27,186 - Jesus wept. - Stop saying Jesus wept. 139 00:06:27,765 --> 00:06:29,238 Dean, 140 00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:31,643 here's something fun you might want to try. 141 00:06:31,655 --> 00:06:36,114 Let's see if we can find the serial number to this system. 142 00:06:36,127 --> 00:06:40,213 - Oh, that could be fun. - So go to Settings. 143 00:06:40,219 --> 00:06:42,589 Is Settings the volcano or the cobbler's workshop? 144 00:06:42,609 --> 00:06:43,910 It's a monastery. 145 00:06:43,935 --> 00:06:45,001 [SOUND] 146 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:46,838 [LAUGH] 147 00:06:46,863 --> 00:06:49,236 I feel the power. 148 00:06:49,249 --> 00:06:50,249 Hut. 149 00:06:51,012 --> 00:06:52,700 Hut. [SOUND] 150 00:06:52,725 --> 00:06:54,097 Hut. 151 00:06:54,672 --> 00:06:56,505 Welcome to Settings. 152 00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,291 [GASPS] 153 00:06:59,316 --> 00:07:00,429 Oh. 154 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:04,364 Your majesty, the filing cabinets. 155 00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:08,775 You're looking for one called purchase info. 156 00:07:11,427 --> 00:07:14,308 Hit, yeah, ah-ha. 157 00:07:15,026 --> 00:07:17,285 These cabinets would never be this easy to climb in real life. 158 00:07:17,294 --> 00:07:20,543 This is the future of scrolling. My world is officially boundless. 159 00:07:20,568 --> 00:07:21,614 Ha! 160 00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:22,632 I'm here. 161 00:07:22,638 --> 00:07:26,414 Inside that drawer should be a file called serial number. 162 00:07:26,422 --> 00:07:29,737 [WHIRRING] 163 00:07:33,342 --> 00:07:34,677 I've got it! 164 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,011 All right. Now you just have to print that file out. 165 00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:42,897 You can do that by dragging it to the accessories and peripherals castle, 166 00:07:42,911 --> 00:07:46,593 - and planting it in the printer garden. - [LAUGH] 167 00:07:47,002 --> 00:07:48,209 What's so funny? 168 00:07:48,215 --> 00:07:49,936 I mean, besides everything? 169 00:07:49,949 --> 00:07:53,292 I have no intention of returning this system. 170 00:07:53,312 --> 00:07:58,227 On the contrary, I intend to keep it. 171 00:07:58,247 --> 00:07:59,602 Dear God. 172 00:07:59,622 --> 00:08:01,078 [YELLS] 173 00:08:01,616 --> 00:08:02,703 Delete! 174 00:08:03,529 --> 00:08:05,856 One file selected. 175 00:08:05,868 --> 00:08:07,663 Oh. Hold on. 176 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,765 [SOUND] 177 00:08:11,504 --> 00:08:12,891 File sorted. 178 00:08:12,903 --> 00:08:14,703 What? Oh, come on. 179 00:08:15,174 --> 00:08:17,157 Yeah. Come here you little. 180 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,701 [HUSHING] 181 00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:28,133 [WHISPERING] 182 00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:29,962 [HUSHING] 183 00:08:31,048 --> 00:08:33,397 File deleted. 184 00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:35,560 Jesus wept! 185 00:08:35,895 --> 00:08:38,242 He deleted the serial number, Jeff, help me out here. 186 00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:39,855 I don't get paid enough for this. 187 00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:41,304 How much do you think you're going to get paid 188 00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:43,329 if I have to find five grand in the budget? 189 00:08:45,463 --> 00:08:46,919 You're not the new Annie. 190 00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:48,930 You're the new Abed. 191 00:08:48,943 --> 00:08:50,332 I don't know what that means yet. 192 00:08:52,209 --> 00:08:55,684 So are the gremlins supposed to be the good guys in this version? 193 00:08:55,704 --> 00:08:56,504 The blue ones are. 194 00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:58,986 The green ones are bad and the red ones are kind of like isolationists. 195 00:08:58,999 --> 00:09:01,194 - It's a metaphor for World War II. - Ooh. 196 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,147 Um, I will be right back, I left something in my car. 197 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,933 - Oh. - [SCREAMING ON TV] 198 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,599 Hi, yes, I picked up a sofa from your store, recently. 199 00:09:13,618 --> 00:09:15,796 The last name is Perry. 200 00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:17,794 Mm-hm. 201 00:09:20,112 --> 00:09:21,528 What? 202 00:09:24,155 --> 00:09:24,917 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 203 00:09:24,942 --> 00:09:27,515 - Are you strong or angry? - My parents? 204 00:09:27,521 --> 00:09:30,254 My parents bought that couch? 205 00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:31,854 Explain yourselves! 206 00:09:31,874 --> 00:09:33,413 Well, are we, okay. 207 00:09:34,151 --> 00:09:37,960 They kind of reached out to us on Facebook. 208 00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:40,311 What? You know I don't talk to them. 209 00:09:40,324 --> 00:09:43,131 Well, yeah. That's why they talk to us. 210 00:09:43,144 --> 00:09:46,527 They knew you wouldn't let them help you, at least not directly. 211 00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,520 Oh my god. Oh my god. 212 00:09:48,539 --> 00:09:51,203 You needed our help, but we needed their help to help you. 213 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,956 That's why we were able to get you such a good deal on the rent. 214 00:09:52,969 --> 00:09:56,018 - They're supplementing my rent too? - Mm-hm. 215 00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:59,820 You make them sound like monsters, but they're actually really nice. 216 00:09:59,839 --> 00:10:04,984 [IMITATES VOMIT SOUND] 217 00:10:08,987 --> 00:10:10,107 Well, they are! 218 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,037 My parents are horrible people. 219 00:10:12,057 --> 00:10:13,858 - You're being dramatic. - Oh yeah. 220 00:10:13,883 --> 00:10:17,038 That's what people say when they take your soul, 221 00:10:17,063 --> 00:10:21,975 and they rip it out of your chest and then shove it in your mouth. 222 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:24,568 [DOOR OPENS] 223 00:10:28,358 --> 00:10:29,859 I got bit by a cat. 224 00:10:29,872 --> 00:10:31,270 [BOTH SCREAM] 225 00:10:35,648 --> 00:10:38,894 I will create more worlds. 226 00:10:38,912 --> 00:10:41,948 And those worlds will have worlds. 227 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,799 They're file folders, stop calling them worlds. 228 00:10:44,824 --> 00:10:46,325 I found an address. 229 00:10:46,339 --> 00:10:50,608 Elroy Patashnik, founder of Virtu Good technologies. 230 00:10:50,628 --> 00:10:53,586 All right. I'll go see if I can get the school's money back. 231 00:10:53,598 --> 00:10:56,218 You keep White Morpheus inside the Matrix. 232 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,200 - Jeff. - Britta. You look distraught. 233 00:11:01,207 --> 00:11:03,945 You have ten seconds to tell me it's not about stupid politics. 234 00:11:03,951 --> 00:11:07,464 I just found out that Annie and Abed have been cheating on me with my parents. 235 00:11:07,477 --> 00:11:09,531 They've been sabotaging my life from the shadows 236 00:11:09,556 --> 00:11:11,769 by paying off my debts and buying me things. 237 00:11:11,775 --> 00:11:13,382 - Thank God. - What are you? 238 00:11:13,388 --> 00:11:15,895 - Thank God? - The charade can finally end. 239 00:11:15,907 --> 00:11:17,963 Now you know everything you thought you owed us, 240 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,764 you can actually just owe to Deb and George. 241 00:11:19,777 --> 00:11:20,971 Deb and George? 242 00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,264 You know my parents too? 243 00:11:23,277 --> 00:11:24,164 Since when? 244 00:11:24,177 --> 00:11:26,721 I don't know, since thousands of dollars ago? 245 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:30,667 I'm bad with dates. I remember the New Year's glasses having zeros for eyes. 246 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:32,127 And when did Stella get her groove back? 247 00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:34,445 You've all been lying to me for years. 248 00:11:34,457 --> 00:11:36,852 - What kind of friends are you? - Poor. 249 00:11:36,877 --> 00:11:38,231 We're poor friends. 250 00:11:38,247 --> 00:11:41,654 And you mooch off us because you're too proud to use your own support system. 251 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,667 What kind of friend are you? 252 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,659 And having met them, what were you rebelling against? 253 00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:49,405 Was it generosity, whimsical game nights, 254 00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:51,857 or delicious lobster bacon mashed potatoes? 255 00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:53,437 You ate the potatoes? 256 00:11:53,449 --> 00:11:56,350 - You-You don't even eat carbs. - I eat love, Britta. 257 00:11:56,364 --> 00:11:59,750 Hot, delicious love that you were willing to wipe your ass with. 258 00:11:59,763 --> 00:12:00,968 Oh, my God. 259 00:12:01,848 --> 00:12:03,781 I have no friends. 260 00:12:03,793 --> 00:12:05,274 Can we not be so dramatic about this? 261 00:12:05,281 --> 00:12:08,264 There are people in this world with serious problems. 262 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,637 Chang, go see the nurse! 263 00:12:14,098 --> 00:12:15,388 I'm trying. 264 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,361 - Yeah? - Elroy Patashnik? 265 00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:31,494 - Who's asking? - Well, that's always a yes. 266 00:12:31,507 --> 00:12:33,303 Nobody ever says, who's asking, to the wrong name. 267 00:12:33,323 --> 00:12:35,263 They just say, that's not my name. 268 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:38,119 When my phone rings and I say hello, and they say, is Pablo there? 269 00:12:38,131 --> 00:12:41,195 I don't say, who's asking, I say, wrong number. 270 00:12:41,201 --> 00:12:42,662 You're a clever young man. 271 00:12:42,668 --> 00:12:44,749 - I'm 40. - Come in. 272 00:12:46,674 --> 00:12:47,743 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 273 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,021 So? 274 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:52,210 You sold a Virtu Good 6500 to Craig Pelton 275 00:12:52,235 --> 00:12:55,964 at Greendale Community College, and we need to return it. 276 00:12:55,977 --> 00:12:57,244 I'll need the serial number. 277 00:12:57,263 --> 00:13:00,151 He deleted the serial number because he loves the system. 278 00:13:00,639 --> 00:13:01,606 So what's the problem? 279 00:13:01,618 --> 00:13:03,494 The problem is in order to copy a file, 280 00:13:03,512 --> 00:13:04,913 you have to throw a fireball at it, 281 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:08,553 then absorb the fire, then drop the flaming file into a crystal lake, 282 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,199 then take out both copies and throw them into the side of a mountain. 283 00:13:11,212 --> 00:13:12,691 Worlds within worlds. 284 00:13:13,272 --> 00:13:14,485 That doesn't mean anything. 285 00:13:14,499 --> 00:13:16,800 I can copy a file by holding my finger down on a phone. 286 00:13:16,813 --> 00:13:18,276 Well, so can a monkey. 287 00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,709 Now, you're describing a system for animals. 288 00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:24,490 Terrestrial slobs bound to the earth by their meaty feet. 289 00:13:24,969 --> 00:13:26,742 I designed a system for gods. 290 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,336 Oh, come on. 291 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,702 You know what you've done. 292 00:13:29,719 --> 00:13:31,932 You know how lame virtual reality is. 293 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,650 You know the damage it caused mid-90s cinema. 294 00:13:34,670 --> 00:13:36,970 I mean, Michael Douglas walking around like a jackass, 295 00:13:36,977 --> 00:13:39,030 moving files with a magic glove? 296 00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:41,444 Lawnmower Man? Did you see Lawnmower Man? 297 00:13:41,457 --> 00:13:43,832 You bet your sweet ass I saw Lawnmower Man. 298 00:13:43,845 --> 00:13:44,952 I consulted on it. 299 00:13:44,965 --> 00:13:46,512 Took Brigitte Nielsen to the premiere. 300 00:13:46,518 --> 00:13:48,193 We were building worlds within worlds. 301 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,374 And now you're living in homes within campers within parking lots, 302 00:13:51,399 --> 00:13:55,486 and using an iPad to clearly design what looks like a ripoff of Angry Birds. 303 00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:56,553 Get out. 304 00:13:57,496 --> 00:13:58,397 Get out of my Winnebago! 305 00:13:58,409 --> 00:14:01,378 You're not allowed to say that like it's a punishment. 306 00:14:01,403 --> 00:14:04,575 I know what it's like to lie for a living, Elroy! 307 00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:07,074 And you should know, it feels better to stop. 308 00:14:08,918 --> 00:14:10,777 And my feet aren't meaty! 309 00:14:13,378 --> 00:14:16,117 [MUSIC] 310 00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:25,669 - [LAUGH] - Britta, honey. 311 00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:26,935 An unexpected treat. 312 00:14:26,948 --> 00:14:30,202 This is a check for all the dirty money you have used to control 313 00:14:30,215 --> 00:14:32,082 and monitor me without my consent. 314 00:14:32,102 --> 00:14:34,035 - But we're not gonna cash this. - Well you can't. 315 00:14:34,055 --> 00:14:35,395 I postdated it a year. 316 00:14:35,414 --> 00:14:37,757 And in that year, I'm gonna get a new job, 317 00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:42,371 new friends, in a new city where you and your spies can never find me. 318 00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:44,838 Oh, please. Don't do this. 319 00:14:44,858 --> 00:14:46,585 What choice do you leave me? 320 00:14:46,598 --> 00:14:50,316 Who acts this dishonestly towards their own daughter? 321 00:14:50,335 --> 00:14:52,758 What choice do you leave us? 322 00:14:52,771 --> 00:14:55,520 I mean, every time we get too close, you run off. 323 00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:57,895 We sent you a birthday card to your apartment in New York, 324 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:01,406 and then next week you're setting fire to a Jamba Juice in San Jose. 325 00:15:01,412 --> 00:15:03,035 How long is that gonna stick with me? 326 00:15:03,048 --> 00:15:06,120 Until arson is legal, sweetie, but your father's point is, 327 00:15:06,132 --> 00:15:09,323 we've arrived at the closest relationship you can tolerate. 328 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:12,636 - Mm-hm. - We've learned, after a decade, 329 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:17,028 how to love and admire and finance you from afar, 330 00:15:17,053 --> 00:15:19,406 through your friends, and the social media. 331 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,226 The Tinder and the like. 332 00:15:21,239 --> 00:15:24,639 - It's called Tumblr, dad. - No, I mean Tinder. 333 00:15:24,644 --> 00:15:28,464 It's a matchmaking app, and by the way, if you were on Tinder... 334 00:15:28,477 --> 00:15:31,074 - [LAUGH] - Your mom and I think you'd be the prettiest. 335 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,549 Absolutely, the boys would be swiping right. 336 00:15:34,556 --> 00:15:35,552 Or girls! 337 00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,004 - Yes! - Whatever makes you happy. 338 00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:38,104 Totally. 339 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,520 What has happened to you two? 340 00:15:40,533 --> 00:15:44,329 Who are these doddering open-minded geezers? 341 00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:47,667 Where are the people who wouldn't let me dress up like Prince for Halloween? 342 00:15:47,674 --> 00:15:51,677 Or told me that the cat ran away because I tried alcohol? 343 00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:55,176 Or had me drug tested when I was 11 344 00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:58,228 because they said I was laughing too much? 345 00:15:58,247 --> 00:16:02,031 We are definitely sorry about all of that stuff. 346 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:05,438 Quite frankly, we don't remember that stuff. 347 00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:06,351 Oh, it's true. 348 00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:07,776 [LAUGH] 349 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,182 - Woodstock, oh! - Oh, my god. 350 00:16:09,207 --> 00:16:11,180 I remember Woodstock! 351 00:16:11,186 --> 00:16:16,884 Woodstock was amazing but-but you have to realize, Britta, 352 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:21,315 that your Woodstock, which was us being bad parents, 353 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:23,080 that has more to do with you. 354 00:16:23,093 --> 00:16:25,469 So that's what you remember, see? 355 00:16:25,482 --> 00:16:26,727 Mm-hm. 356 00:16:28,212 --> 00:16:29,540 Where are they? 357 00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:30,719 - Hm. - I'm sorry. 358 00:16:30,738 --> 00:16:33,051 Get out here! 359 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,432 Britta, let me explain. 360 00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:39,479 We were worried about you, so 361 00:16:39,504 --> 00:16:44,088 - we just came over. - You can explain to each other in hell. 362 00:16:44,101 --> 00:16:47,756 Friends don't visit each other's parents. 363 00:16:47,762 --> 00:16:52,137 I hope you have a wonderful life. 364 00:16:53,106 --> 00:16:54,213 [DOOR OPENS] 365 00:16:59,749 --> 00:17:00,845 Oh. 366 00:17:02,393 --> 00:17:03,546 George, George, yes. 367 00:17:03,552 --> 00:17:06,089 Britta, at least take some money and fix your car! 368 00:17:06,102 --> 00:17:09,483 Or at least get a cab, or there are apps we can call where strangers pick you up. 369 00:17:09,489 --> 00:17:11,249 I don't want your help. 370 00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:13,472 Stop infantilizing me! 371 00:17:13,477 --> 00:17:15,551 Hey, stop. Stop! 372 00:17:15,562 --> 00:17:18,083 - Get out of here. - Hey! 373 00:17:19,102 --> 00:17:21,547 [NOISE] 374 00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,494 Green Machine, nice. 375 00:17:23,507 --> 00:17:25,837 Here, Greg, here, take some cash. 376 00:17:26,343 --> 00:17:27,756 Holy crap! 377 00:17:28,322 --> 00:17:30,035 What's her problem? 378 00:17:30,502 --> 00:17:32,387 She's growing up. 379 00:17:32,412 --> 00:17:34,941 [MUSIC] 380 00:17:41,142 --> 00:17:42,381 [YELLS] 381 00:17:42,392 --> 00:17:43,466 [GASPS] 382 00:17:43,491 --> 00:17:45,199 Oh my god. 383 00:17:45,224 --> 00:17:48,001 I put a tilde on this n! 384 00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:51,372 I can do anything. 385 00:17:51,396 --> 00:17:53,079 [LAUGH] 386 00:17:53,733 --> 00:17:54,953 Any luck? 387 00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,550 Ugh, 388 00:17:57,575 --> 00:17:58,948 I'm going home. 389 00:17:59,614 --> 00:18:03,805 Oh, and to warn you, he joked about wanting a pee jar earlier 390 00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:06,545 and it's gradually becoming less of a joke. 391 00:18:08,308 --> 00:18:09,728 Hey, Dean. 392 00:18:09,741 --> 00:18:11,915 I'm coming over and I'm pulling you out of there. 393 00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:13,214 - I'll bite you. - I'll beat you up. 394 00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:16,024 I'll like it and then I'll fire you and then I'll get right back in it. 395 00:18:16,037 --> 00:18:18,935 - I'll still get to beat you up. - Hold it. Hold it. 396 00:18:20,456 --> 00:18:21,270 Who is that? 397 00:18:21,295 --> 00:18:22,715 I recognize that baritone voice 398 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,162 and the scent of Tic Tacs with a tinge of Naugahyde. 399 00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:27,413 It's Elroy Patashnik. 400 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:29,811 The architect. 401 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,986 Listen, I've come to tell you something very important about this system. 402 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,220 It's lame. 403 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,342 What? 404 00:18:38,824 --> 00:18:43,051 I wasted your time with it and 10 crucial years of America's time. 405 00:18:43,064 --> 00:18:45,968 - I'm giving Mr. Winger your refund. - I don't want a refund. 406 00:18:45,981 --> 00:18:48,352 I wanna stay in here forever 407 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,750 and you can't stop me. 408 00:18:51,769 --> 00:18:53,410 Die. 409 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:57,557 [SOUND] 410 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,550 How long has he been in there? 411 00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:00,863 Four hours. 412 00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:02,736 Oh, 413 00:19:02,761 --> 00:19:04,114 I was thinking weeks. 414 00:19:04,127 --> 00:19:06,016 Ha. Yep! 415 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:10,005 This guy runs your school? 416 00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:13,187 [SOUND] 417 00:19:13,201 --> 00:19:17,225 To use a phrase I coined in the 90s, [SOUND] 418 00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,883 I'm going in. 419 00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:22,759 - You coined that? - Oh yeah, lock and load. 420 00:19:24,073 --> 00:19:25,515 That's mine too. 421 00:19:26,212 --> 00:19:27,552 All right. 422 00:19:30,857 --> 00:19:31,968 [SOUND] 423 00:19:31,993 --> 00:19:33,800 - I'm awake. - Aah! 424 00:19:33,813 --> 00:19:37,166 - Oh my God! - I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. 425 00:19:37,179 --> 00:19:38,867 What are you doing in my car? 426 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,827 I didn't have anywhere else to go. 427 00:19:41,415 --> 00:19:43,695 No where else but my car? 428 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,400 Do you know how big the planet is? 429 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:53,566 What is going on, Britta? 430 00:19:54,248 --> 00:19:57,503 My friends, they all think my parents are adorable, 431 00:19:57,516 --> 00:19:59,358 and they think that I'm the bad guy for hating them, 432 00:19:59,383 --> 00:20:02,170 but I have a right to hate them, cuz I had to be there when they sucked. 433 00:20:02,177 --> 00:20:03,303 Yeah. 434 00:20:03,633 --> 00:20:05,609 Jimmy Fallon syndrome. I get it. 435 00:20:06,036 --> 00:20:07,683 I had that with my parents, too. 436 00:20:07,702 --> 00:20:09,416 - You did? - Yeah. 437 00:20:10,059 --> 00:20:14,818 You know, one of the most unfair lessons we're forced to learn 438 00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:17,392 is that our parents are human beings. 439 00:20:17,406 --> 00:20:20,219 We wanna think of them as gods or demons, 440 00:20:20,244 --> 00:20:21,757 because then that would make us heroes. 441 00:20:21,777 --> 00:20:24,073 But give me a break. 442 00:20:24,086 --> 00:20:25,579 We all suck. 443 00:20:26,879 --> 00:20:29,160 What can I do to help you tonight, Britta? 444 00:20:29,185 --> 00:20:31,130 [MUSIC] 445 00:20:31,857 --> 00:20:34,320 How many quarters were in this cup holder? 446 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,693 The same amount. 447 00:20:37,555 --> 00:20:39,475 Oh, yeah. 448 00:20:39,495 --> 00:20:41,322 Calibrated. Welcome. 449 00:20:41,342 --> 00:20:43,213 No, go away! 450 00:20:43,556 --> 00:20:45,807 Preferences grow. 451 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,096 [LAUGH] 452 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:52,174 What are you doing? No, no, no. 453 00:20:52,187 --> 00:20:53,214 Let go of me. 454 00:20:53,221 --> 00:20:56,271 Do you really want the power of a god? 455 00:20:56,290 --> 00:20:58,333 Yes, more than anything. 456 00:20:58,353 --> 00:21:01,592 Should I order dinner, cuz a lot of good delivery places are closing? 457 00:21:01,598 --> 00:21:02,765 I know how you feel. 458 00:21:02,785 --> 00:21:06,863 The sadder reality, the less real we want it. 459 00:21:06,876 --> 00:21:08,932 I just wanna be a good dean. 460 00:21:08,938 --> 00:21:12,135 I can give you a device that will accomplish that. 461 00:21:12,148 --> 00:21:13,468 Oh! 462 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,909 You can use this to manipulate worlds. 463 00:21:16,922 --> 00:21:19,014 - Flick of a wrist. - Ha! 464 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:25,345 My god, it's incredible! 465 00:21:25,370 --> 00:21:26,627 Now! 466 00:21:28,052 --> 00:21:28,865 [SCREAMS] 467 00:21:28,885 --> 00:21:32,037 What's happening. No! Ow. I wanna go back in. 468 00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:33,804 I want to be back in there. 469 00:21:33,816 --> 00:21:37,250 - I want to be... - Here. Here. Here's your power. 470 00:21:37,753 --> 00:21:38,745 Yeah. 471 00:21:38,758 --> 00:21:41,994 Now, manipulate worlds. 472 00:21:42,929 --> 00:21:44,340 Yeah. 473 00:21:45,557 --> 00:21:47,837 He'll be back to his old self in an hour. 474 00:21:47,857 --> 00:21:50,858 Great, do you have a way to fix that? 475 00:21:51,512 --> 00:21:52,672 [LAUGH] 476 00:21:52,685 --> 00:21:56,088 [MUSIC] 477 00:21:56,971 --> 00:21:59,502 [LAUGH] 478 00:22:00,099 --> 00:22:02,012 - Seriously, though, thank you. - Mm hm. 479 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:05,170 [DOOR OPENS] 480 00:22:07,416 --> 00:22:09,283 Britta, we were so worried. 481 00:22:09,296 --> 00:22:11,190 - What happened to the kid's Green Machine? - What? 482 00:22:11,210 --> 00:22:14,002 - I, I don't know. I ditched it. - Where and how long ago? 483 00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:15,969 Okay, assume that's not what's important here. 484 00:22:15,975 --> 00:22:17,837 - Britta, we... - It's okay, Dad. 485 00:22:17,850 --> 00:22:19,846 I have something that I wanna say. 486 00:22:19,866 --> 00:22:23,572 I ran away from home at 17 to become an adult, 487 00:22:23,597 --> 00:22:27,753 but maybe all that did was leave a part of me stuck at 17, 488 00:22:27,765 --> 00:22:31,530 the part that tends to run away when I am confronted with the truth. 489 00:22:31,535 --> 00:22:34,192 - The truth is good, Britta. - Mom, shut up! 490 00:22:34,198 --> 00:22:36,068 Frankie taught me something important. 491 00:22:36,081 --> 00:22:40,031 It doesn't matter how mature we are or what resentments we carry. 492 00:22:40,043 --> 00:22:43,796 All that matters is that we're all going to die. 493 00:22:46,405 --> 00:22:50,646 - You have a lovely home. - Thank you. 494 00:22:50,659 --> 00:22:53,468 So, we're really getting our daughter back? 495 00:22:53,474 --> 00:22:55,091 Yeah, but it's not gonna be that big of a deal. 496 00:22:55,096 --> 00:22:56,358 I mean, you guys missed the good years. 497 00:22:56,377 --> 00:22:58,500 Now, it's just gonna be margaritas, Pottery Barn, 498 00:22:58,513 --> 00:23:02,245 fighting our family's tendency toward obesity as we slide into oblivion. 499 00:23:02,259 --> 00:23:04,806 First you guys, and then me quickly thereafter. 500 00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:06,772 Well, I'll drink to that. 501 00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:11,510 Oh, Abed. 502 00:23:12,598 --> 00:23:14,238 Benjamin. 503 00:23:14,257 --> 00:23:16,131 I got bit by a cat, Deb. 504 00:23:16,150 --> 00:23:17,675 No! 505 00:23:18,479 --> 00:23:20,641 I'll get the antibiotics. 506 00:23:22,254 --> 00:23:24,608 Thank you for the refund, Elroy. 507 00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:26,760 No, thank you 508 00:23:27,153 --> 00:23:30,560 for one last taste of what it was like when my work was valuable. 509 00:23:30,566 --> 00:23:32,639 Oh, it's still valuable. 510 00:23:32,654 --> 00:23:38,091 Here, $500 for the taste I got of being powerful. 511 00:23:38,502 --> 00:23:40,971 [BLANK_AUDIO] 512 00:23:41,412 --> 00:23:45,208 - Dean, the school can't afford 500... - Wait for it. 513 00:23:47,465 --> 00:23:50,088 I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life now. 514 00:23:50,101 --> 00:23:52,957 We offer a wide variety of classes. 515 00:23:56,252 --> 00:23:59,273 And that, my friend, is the Greendale effect. 516 00:24:01,850 --> 00:24:04,117 I'll never get out of here, will I? 517 00:24:04,137 --> 00:24:05,924 I haven't met many that do. 518 00:24:05,943 --> 00:24:07,288 [LAUGH] 519 00:24:07,973 --> 00:24:10,020 Let's walk arm in arm. [MUSIC] 520 00:24:10,038 --> 00:24:14,438 There are times when change needs to be different, 521 00:24:14,444 --> 00:24:17,839 then there's changes that are more the same. 522 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,668 But the same changes don't tend to be different 523 00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:22,871 than the changes that came before. 524 00:24:23,647 --> 00:24:25,727 If you change everything that's different, 525 00:24:25,734 --> 00:24:29,878 sometimes you find out everything's still the same. 526 00:24:30,474 --> 00:24:34,522 As for me, I'm just changing 527 00:24:35,260 --> 00:24:37,872 everything that's different. 528 00:24:39,968 --> 00:24:41,479 Change. 529 00:24:50,733 --> 00:24:52,941 [MUSIC] 530 00:24:52,966 --> 00:24:55,031 [SOUND] 531 00:25:05,812 --> 00:25:08,320 [FOREIGN] 532 00:25:14,410 --> 00:25:16,743 [MUSIC] 533 00:25:37,414 --> 00:25:38,414 [SCREAMS] 534 00:25:52,020 --> 00:25:54,740 Aah! 535 00:26:17,250 --> 00:26:25,250 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther