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<i><font color="#3cff00">M</font><font color="#4aff00">o</font><font color="#58ff00">v</font><font color="#66ff00">i</font><font color="#74ff00"></font><font color="#82ff00">e</font><font color="#91ff00"> E</font><font color="#9fff00">n</font><font color="#adff00">c</font><font color="#bbff00">o</font><font color="#c9ff00"> </font><font color="#d7ff00">d</font><font color="#e5ff00">e</font><font color="#d7ff00">d</font><font color="#c9ff00"> B</font><font color="#bbff00">y.</font><font color="#adff00">-=G.</font><font color="#9fff00">R</font><font color="#90ff00"> </font><font color="#82ff00">am.</font><font color="#74ff00">Wa</font><font color="#66ff00"> </font><font color="#58ff00">ra</font><font color="#4aff00">ng</font><font color="#3cff00">al=-</font></i>

23
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,850
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Kinda lonesome back here.</b></font>

24
00:03:05,308 --> 00:03:06,348
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Yeah, little help.</b></font>

25
00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:12,146
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Okay, just, I have to keep my hands
on the wheel.</b></font>

26
00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:14,979
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Excuse me.</b></font>

27
00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:17,953
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Dopinder.</b></font>

28
00:03:17,988 --> 00:03:19,988
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Pool. Dead.</b></font>

29
00:03:21,658 --> 00:03:22,658
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Nice.</b></font>

30
00:03:23,785 --> 00:03:24,905
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Smells good, no?</b></font>

31
00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:26,833
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Not the Daffodil Daydream. The girl.</b></font>

32
00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:30,379
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Yes. Gita. She is quite lovely.</b></font>

33
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:34,496
<font color=#9BFF37><b>She would have made me
a very agreeable wife.</b></font>

34
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:38,840
<font color=#9BFF37><b>But, Gita's heart has been stolen
by my cousin Bandhu.</b></font>

35
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:42,854
<font color=#9BFF37><b>He is as dishonorable
as he is attractive.</b></font>

36
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:47,854
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Dopinder, I'm starting to think
there's a reason I'm in this cab today.</b></font>

37
00:03:48,185 --> 00:03:49,645
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Yeah, sir, you called for it, remember?</b></font>

38
00:03:49,686 --> 00:03:54,516
<font color=#9BFF37><b>No, my slender brown friend.
Love is a beautiful thing.</b></font>

39
00:03:54,566 --> 00:03:57,356
<font color=#9BFF37><b>When you find it, the whole world
tastes like Daffodil Daydream.</b></font>

40
00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:00,360
<font color=#9BFF37><b>So you gotta hold onto love...</b></font>

41
00:04:00,697 --> 00:04:02,157
<font color=#9BFF37><b>tight!</b></font>

42
00:04:02,199 --> 00:04:05,159
<font color=#9BFF37><b>And never let go.
Don't make the same mistakes I did.</b></font>

43
00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:06,452
<font color=#9BFF37><b>- Got it?
- Yeah.</b></font>

44
00:04:06,494 --> 00:04:10,004
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Or else the whole world tastes
like Mama June after hot yoga.</b></font>

45
00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:12,880
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Sir, what does Miss Mama June
taste like?</b></font>

46
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:15,878
<font color=#9BFF37><b>- Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss.
- Okay, enough.</b></font>

47
00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:18,841
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I can go all day, Dopinder.
The point is, it's bad!</b></font>

48
00:04:18,882 --> 00:04:20,592
<font color=#9BFF37><b>It's bad.</b></font>

49
00:04:21,176 --> 00:04:23,846
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Why the fancy red suit, Mr. Pool?</b></font>

50
00:04:23,887 --> 00:04:25,847
<font color=#9BFF37><b>That's because it's Christmas Day,
Dopinder.</b></font>

51
00:04:25,889 --> 00:04:28,389
<font color=#9BFF37><b>And I'm after someone on my naughty list.</b></font>

52
00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:30,023
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I've been waiting one year, three weeks...</b></font>

53
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,020
<font color=#9BFF37><b>six days and...</b></font>

54
00:04:32,062 --> 00:04:34,402
<font color=#9BFF37><b>14 minutes to make him fix
what he did to me.</b></font>

55
00:04:36,024 --> 00:04:38,364
<font color=#9BFF37><b>And what did he do to you, Mr. Pool?</b></font>

56
00:04:38,401 --> 00:04:39,741
<font color=#9BFF37><b>This shit...</b></font>

57
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,279
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Boo!</b></font>

58
00:05:02,884 --> 00:05:03,974
<font color=#9BFF37><b>They won't disappoint.</b></font>

59
00:05:04,636 --> 00:05:06,426
<font color=#9BFF37><b>They'd better not.</b></font>

60
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:08,891
<font color=#9BFF37><b>And what about next month's shipment?</b></font>

61
00:05:08,932 --> 00:05:10,682
<font color=#9BFF37><b>There won't be one.</b></font>

62
00:05:10,725 --> 00:05:12,365
<font color=#9BFF37><b>You're not the only one
with a war to win.</b></font>

63
00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:14,898
<font color=#9BFF37><b>That won't do.</b></font>

64
00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:21,736
<font color=#9BFF37><b>See, we've had this small disruption
to our supply chain...</b></font>

65
00:05:25,574 --> 00:05:27,784
<font color=#9BFF37><b>We'd appreciate your patience.</b></font>

66
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:31,287
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Okay.</b></font>

67
00:05:31,788 --> 00:05:34,288
<font color=#9BFF37><b>We'll deliver in full the following month.</b></font>

68
00:05:37,794 --> 00:05:39,114
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Pleasure doing business with you.</b></font>

69
00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:44,509
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Fucking mutant.</b></font>

70
00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:56,099
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Ah, shit!</b></font>

71
00:05:56,146 --> 00:05:57,516
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I forgot my ammo bag.</b></font>

72
00:05:57,856 --> 00:06:00,106
<font color=#9BFF37><b>- Shall we turn back?
- No, no time.</b></font>

73
00:06:00,525 --> 00:06:02,105
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Fuck it. I got this.</b></font>

74
00:06:02,152 --> 00:06:05,492
<font color=#9BFF37><b>9, 10, 11, 12 bullets, or bust.</b></font>

75
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:06,530
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Right here!</b></font>

76
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:11,123
<font color=#9BFF37><b>That's $27.50.</b></font>

77
00:06:11,161 --> 00:06:12,871
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I never carry a wallet when I'm working.</b></font>

78
00:06:12,913 --> 00:06:14,333
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Ruins the lines of my suit.</b></font>

79
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,250
<font color=#9BFF37><b>But, how about a crisp high five?</b></font>

80
00:06:17,626 --> 00:06:18,456
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Okay.</b></font>

81
00:06:18,502 --> 00:06:19,752
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Merry Christmas.</b></font>

82
00:06:21,087 --> 00:06:24,087
<font color=#9BFF37><b>And a convivial Tuesday in April
to you too, Pool!</b></font>

83
00:06:27,719 --> 00:06:32,599
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Shoop shooop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop</b></font>

84
00:06:32,641 --> 00:06:34,641
<font color=#9BFF37><b>You're packed and you're stacked
'specially in the back</b></font>

85
00:06:34,684 --> 00:06:37,444
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Brother, wanna thank your mother
for a butt like that</b></font>

86
00:06:37,479 --> 00:06:39,899
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Can I get some fries
with that shake-shake boobie?</b></font>

87
00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:42,150
<font color=#9BFF37><b>If looks could kill you would be an uzi</b></font>

88
00:06:42,192 --> 00:06:43,652
<font color=#9BFF37><b>You're a shotgun - bang!</b></font>

89
00:06:45,403 --> 00:06:48,743
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Oh, hello. I know, right?</b></font>

90
00:06:48,782 --> 00:06:52,492
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Whose balls did I have to fondle
to get my very own movie?</b></font>

91
00:06:52,536 --> 00:06:56,116
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I can't tell you,
but it does rhyme with "Polverine."</b></font>

92
00:06:56,373 --> 00:07:01,923
<font color=#9BFF37><b>And let me tell you, he's got a nice pair
of smooth criminals down under.</b></font>

93
00:07:01,962 --> 00:07:06,172
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Anyway, I got places to be,
a face to fix and...</b></font>

94
00:07:06,216 --> 00:07:08,886
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Bad guys to kill.</b></font>

95
00:07:14,307 --> 00:07:15,557
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Maximum effort.</b></font>

96
00:07:25,569 --> 00:07:26,569
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Cock shot.</b></font>

97
00:07:34,202 --> 00:07:36,292
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Rich Corinthian leather.</b></font>

98
00:07:38,248 --> 00:07:40,078
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I'm looking for Francis!</b></font>

99
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:41,915
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Have you seen this man?</b></font>

100
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,262
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Yanky, yanky!</b></font>

101
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:28,169
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I've never said this, but don't swallow.</b></font>

102
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:51,028
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Shit.</b></font>

103
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:53,665
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Did I leave the stove on?</b></font>

104
00:09:11,174 --> 00:09:12,514
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Now, breaking news.</b></font>

105
00:09:12,884 --> 00:09:16,434
<font color=#9BFF37><b>A multi-car collision turned shots fired
on the crosstown expressway this morning.</b></font>

106
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,717
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Gridlock has kept police from the scene.</b></font>

107
00:09:19,182 --> 00:09:21,682
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Residents are advised to
remain in their homes.</b></font>

108
00:09:21,726 --> 00:09:24,806
<font color=#9BFF37><b>The assailant appears to be armed,
dangerous, and wearing...</b></font>

109
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,275
<font color=#9BFF37><b>- a red suit.
- A red suit.</b></font>

110
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,190
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Deadpool.</b></font>

111
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:30,943
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Negasonic! Come, we have mission.</b></font>

112
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:34,322
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Colossus, wait up.</b></font>

113
00:09:34,364 --> 00:09:37,744
<font color=#9BFF37><b>I've given Deadpool every
chance to join us...</b></font>

114
00:09:37,784 --> 00:09:39,994
<font color=#9BFF37><b>but he'd rather act like a child.</b></font>

115
00:09:40,036 --> 00:09:42,536
<font color=#9BFF37><b>A heavily-armed child.</b></font>

116
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:46,331
<font color=#9BFF37><b>When will he grow up
and see benefits of becoming X-Man?</b></font>

117
00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:48,206
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Which benefits? The matching unitards?</b></font>

118
00:09:48,545 --> 00:09:50,425
<font color=#9BFF37><b>The house that blows up every few years?</b></font>

119
00:09:50,463 --> 00:09:51,513
<font color=#9BFF37><b>Please.</b></font>

120
00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:53,878
<font color=#9BFF37><b>House blowing up builds character.</b></font>

121
00:09:54,384 --> 00:09:56,264
<font color=#9BFF37><b>You ate breakfast, yes?</b></font>

122
00:09:56,303 --> 00:09:58,553
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Breakfast is most important meal of day.</b></font>

123
00:09:59,472 --> 00:10:03,772
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Here, protein bar. Good for bones.</b></font>

124
00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:06,150
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Deadpool may try to break yours.</b></font>

125
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:15,951
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Get out of the way!</b></font>

126
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:34,967
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Hey!</b></font>

127
00:10:46,144 --> 00:10:47,444
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Wait!</b></font>

128
00:10:47,771 --> 00:10:49,901
<font color=#FFFF64><b>You may be wondering,
"Why the red suit?"</b></font>

129
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,860
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Well, that's so bad guys
can't see me bleed.</b></font>

130
00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:54,111
<font color=#FFFF64><b>This guy's got the right idea.</b></font>

131
00:10:54,444 --> 00:10:55,784
<font color=#FFFF64><b>He wore the brown pants.</b></font>

132
00:10:57,739 --> 00:10:59,909
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Fine! I only have 12 bullets...</b></font>

133
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,620
<font color=#FFFF64><b>so you're gonna have to share!</b></font>

134
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,450
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Let's count them down.</b></font>

135
00:11:22,806 --> 00:11:23,926
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Shit.</b></font>

136
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,687
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Motherfucker!</b></font>

137
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,110
<font color=#FFFF64><b>10! Shit!</b></font>

138
00:11:31,773 --> 00:11:32,773
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Nine. Fuck.</b></font>

139
00:11:33,149 --> 00:11:34,149
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Eight.</b></font>

140
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:35,359
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Shit-fuck!</b></font>

141
00:11:39,114 --> 00:11:40,324
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Bad Deadpool.</b></font>

142
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:43,953
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Seven. Good Deadpool.</b></font>

143
00:12:06,224 --> 00:12:08,734
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Someone's not counting. Six.</b></font>

144
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,547
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Four.</b></font>

145
00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:39,922
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Gotcha.</b></font>

146
00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:42,926
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Right up Main Street.</b></font>

147
00:12:47,015 --> 00:12:48,135
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Three, two!</b></font>

148
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:50,063
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Stupid! Worth it.</b></font>

149
00:13:16,419 --> 00:13:18,379
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I'm touching myself tonight.</b></font>

150
00:13:19,214 --> 00:13:20,304
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Francis!</b></font>

151
00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:21,915
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Francis...</b></font>

152
00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:26,177
<font color=#FFFF64><b>What the shit-biscuit!</b></font>

153
00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:27,931
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Where you at, Francis?</b></font>

154
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:37,897
<font color=#FFFF64><b>You're not Francis.</b></font>

155
00:13:45,949 --> 00:13:48,369
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Really? Rolling up the sleeves?</b></font>

156
00:13:58,753 --> 00:14:02,053
<font color=#FFFF64><b>You're probably thinking, "My boyfriend
said this was a superhero movie...</b></font>

157
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:05,890
<font color=#FFFF64><b>"but that guy in the red suit just turned
that other guy into a fucking kabab!"</b></font>

158
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:10,466
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Well, I may be super, but I'm no hero.</b></font>

159
00:14:10,807 --> 00:14:13,017
<font color=#FFFF64><b>And, yeah, technically, this is a murder.</b></font>

160
00:14:13,059 --> 00:14:15,349
<font color=#FFFF64><b>But some of the best love stories
start with a murder.</b></font>

161
00:14:15,395 --> 00:14:18,435
<font color=#FFFF64><b>And that's exactly what this is.
A love story.</b></font>

162
00:14:18,481 --> 00:14:19,901
<font color=#FFFF64><b>And to tell it right...</b></font>

163
00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:24,741
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I gotta take you back to long before
I squeezed this ass into red spandex.</b></font>

164
00:14:25,822 --> 00:14:30,792
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Look, would it help if I slow it down for you?
I didn't order the pizza.</b></font>

165
00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:34,617
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive?
Are you Mr. Merchant?</b></font>

166
00:14:34,664 --> 00:14:37,794
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Yeah, the Mr. Merchant
who didn't order the fucking pie!</b></font>

167
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,288
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Then who placed the call?</b></font>

168
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,170
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I did!</b></font>

169
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:44,917
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Pineapple and olive?</b></font>

170
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,387
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Sweet and salty.</b></font>

171
00:14:48,428 --> 00:14:51,558
<font color=#FFFF64><b>The fuck are you?
The fuck you doing in my crib...</b></font>

172
00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:52,598
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Is it burnt crust?</b></font>

173
00:14:52,849 --> 00:14:54,139
<font color=#FFFF64><b>God, I hope not.</b></font>

174
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:56,638
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Man, look, if this is
about that poker game.</b></font>

175
00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:58,976
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I told Howie, I told him that...</b></font>

176
00:14:59,022 --> 00:15:02,982
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Okay, look, just take whatever you want.</b></font>

177
00:15:03,026 --> 00:15:04,106
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Thanks.</b></font>

178
00:15:05,028 --> 00:15:07,668
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Sir, before you do anything to him,
do you mind if I get a big tip?</b></font>

179
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,079
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Jeremy, is it?</b></font>

180
00:15:11,117 --> 00:15:12,537
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Wade. Wade Wilson.</b></font>

181
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:16,662
<font color=#FFFF64><b>That is a no go on the tiperoo, Jer.</b></font>

182
00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:18,166
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I'm not here for him.</b></font>

183
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,132
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I'm here for you.</b></font>

184
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,670
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Okay, wow, dodged a big-time
bullet on that one.</b></font>

185
00:15:23,713 --> 00:15:25,633
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Not out of the woods yet.</b></font>

186
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:28,586
<font color=#FFFF64><b>You need to seriously ease up
on the bedazzling.</b></font>

187
00:15:28,635 --> 00:15:30,605
<font color=#FFFF64><b>They're jeans, not a chandelier.</b></font>

188
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:32,927
<font color=#FFFF64><b>P.S. I'm keeping your wallet.
You did kinda give it to me.</b></font>

189
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,773
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Okay, just look, man,
can I have my Sam's card...</b></font>

190
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,058
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I will shoot your fucking cat!</b></font>

191
00:15:37,894 --> 00:15:40,314
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I don't really know what that means.
I don't have a cat.</b></font>

192
00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:42,397
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in?</b></font>

193
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,698
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Anyhoo, tell me something...</b></font>

194
00:15:48,738 --> 00:15:52,488
<font color=#FFFF64><b>what situation isn't improved by pizza?</b></font>

195
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,874
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Do you happen to know a Meghan Orflosky?</b></font>

196
00:15:54,911 --> 00:15:56,541
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Getting that right? Orflosky?</b></font>

197
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,870
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Orlovsky? Yeah? Good.</b></font>

198
00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:01,383
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Because she knows you.</b></font>

199
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:05,878
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys
who take a dime to beat a fella down.</b></font>

200
00:16:05,922 --> 00:16:08,842
<font color=#FFFF64><b>And little Meghan, she's not made of money,
but lucky for her...</b></font>

201
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,184
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I got a soft spot.</b></font>

202
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,720
<font color=#FFFF64><b>- But I'm a...
- A stalker.</b></font>

203
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,810
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Threats hurt, Jer.</b></font>

204
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:18,308
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Though not nearly as badly
as serrated steel.</b></font>

205
00:16:18,351 --> 00:16:21,561
<font color=#FFFF64><b>So keep away from Meghan.</b></font>

206
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,525
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Cool?</b></font>

207
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,824
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Yes, sir.</b></font>

208
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:24,857
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Then we're done.</b></font>

209
00:16:25,108 --> 00:16:27,238
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Wait. We are?</b></font>

210
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:28,947
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Yeah. We're totally done.</b></font>

211
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,073
<font color=#FFFF64><b>You should've seen your face.</b></font>

212
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:32,414
<font color=#FFFF64><b>I didn't know what to do.
I was so scared.</b></font>

213
00:16:32,699 --> 00:16:33,779
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Soft spot, remember?</b></font>

214
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:37,375
<font color=#FFFF64><b>You even look
in her general direction again...</b></font>

215
00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:41,122
<font color=#FFFF64><b>and you will learn in the worst of ways
that I have some hard spots too.</b></font>

216
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:44,456
<font color=#FFFF64><b>That came out wrong.</b></font>

217
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,799
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Or did it?</b></font>

218
00:17:00,101 --> 00:17:01,101
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Meghan?</b></font>

219
00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:05,867
<font color=#FFFF64><b>You've heard the last of Jeremy.
He's sorry.</b></font>

220
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,323
<font color=#FFFF64><b>No friggin' way.</b></font>

221
00:17:13,156 --> 00:17:15,776
<font color=#FFFF64><b>Should've brought my roller blades.
Show these kids how it's done.</b></font>

222
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:19,366
<font color=#FF8080><b>And that's why we do it.
But mostly the money.</b></font>

223
00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:21,292
<font color=#FF8080><b>Hey, think you could fuck up
my step-dad?</b></font>

224
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:24,001
<font color=#FF8080><b>I give a guy a pavement facial,
it's because he's earned it.</b></font>

225
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,958
<font color=#FF8080><b>Hey, wait!</b></font>

226
00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:28,757
<font color=#FF8080><b>You're my hero.</b></font>

227
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:31,297
<font color=#FF8080><b>No-no-no-no. That I ain't!</b></font>

228
00:17:33,176 --> 00:17:35,466
<font color=#FF8080><b>Nope. Never will be.</b></font>

229
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,346
<font color=#FF8080><b>Fuck you, Wade.</b></font>

230
00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:41,181
<font color=#FF8080><b>I'm just a bad guy
who gets paid to fuck up worse guys.</b></font>

231
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,234
<font color=#FF8080><b>Welcome to Sister Margaret's.</b></font>

232
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,611
<font color=#FF8080><b>It's like a job fair for mercenaries.</b></font>

233
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,324
<font color=#FF8080><b>Think of us as really
fucked up tooth fairies...</b></font>

234
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:52,069
<font color=#FF8080><b>except we knock out the teeth
and take the cash.</b></font>

235
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,162
<font color=#FF8080><b>You'd best hope we never see
your name on a gold card.</b></font>

236
00:17:55,198 --> 00:17:57,028
<font color=#FF8080><b>Buck! Liefeld...</b></font>

237
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,367
<font color=#FF8080><b>Hey, Wade!</b></font>

238
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:01,332
<font color=#FF8080><b>Wade Wilson, patron saint of the pitiful.
What can I do for you?</b></font>

239
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,122
<font color=#FF8080><b>I'd love a Blow Job.</b></font>

240
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,673
<font color=#FF8080><b>Oh, God, me too.</b></font>

241
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,708
<font color=#FF8080><b>The drink, moose knuckle. But first...</b></font>

242
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,418
<font color=#FF8080><b>Hey, and I ain't taking
any babysitting money, all right?</b></font>

243
00:18:10,463 --> 00:18:12,303
<font color=#FF8080><b>Make sure that gets back to Ms...</b></font>

244
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:13,340
<font color=#FF8080><b>Orlovsky.</b></font>

245
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:14,343
<font color=#FF8080><b>Yeah, her.</b></font>

246
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,644
<font color=#FF8080><b>You sure?</b></font>

247
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,346
<font color=#FF8080><b>You know, for a merc,
you're pretty warm-blooded.</b></font>

248
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,308
<font color=#FF8080><b>I bet you let the kid off easy, too.</b></font>

249
00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:22,268
<font color=#FF8080><b>He's not a bad kid, Weas.</b></font>

250
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:23,689
<font color=#FF8080><b>Just a little light stalking.</b></font>

251
00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,187
<font color=#FF8080><b>I was way worse than him
when I was his age.</b></font>

252
00:18:25,228 --> 00:18:27,148
<font color=#FF8080><b>I was traveling to exotic places...</b></font>

253
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:31,189
<font color=#FF8080><b>Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville,
meeting new and exciting people. And then...</b></font>

254
00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:33,531
<font color=#FF8080><b>Killing them.
Yeah, I've seen your Instagram.</b></font>

255
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,284
<font color=#FF8080><b>So what was Special Forces
doing in Jacksonville, anyway?</b></font>

256
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,873
<font color=#FF8080><b>That's classified.</b></font>

257
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,198
<font color=#FF8080><b>They have a wonderful TGI Fridays.</b></font>

258
00:18:40,243 --> 00:18:42,543
<font color=#FF8080><b>All right, Kahlua, Baileys and...</b></font>

259
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:43,869
<font color=#FF8080><b>whipped cream.</b></font>

260
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,004
<font color=#FF8080><b>I give you a Blow Job.</b></font>

261
00:18:46,499 --> 00:18:47,879
<font color=#FF8080><b>Why do you make me make that?</b></font>

262
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,708
<font color=#FF8080><b>Kelly, Kelly, Kelly...</b></font>

263
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:53,213
<font color=#FF8080><b>Take that over to Buck, please,
and tell him it's from Boothe. Little foreplay.</b></font>

264
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:55,546
<font color=#FF8080><b>Remind me what good will come of this?</b></font>

265
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,642
<font color=#FF8080><b>I don't take the shits.
I just disturb them.</b></font>

266
00:18:57,677 --> 00:18:58,677
<font color=#FF8080><b>Boothe!</b></font>

267
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,224
<font color=#FF8080><b>- Easy, man.
- Hold up! Hold up!</b></font>

268
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:01,263
<font color=#FF8080><b>What you want?</b></font>

269
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,390
<font color=#FF8080><b>- Cheers. To your health.
- Fuck you.</b></font>

270
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:09,065
<font color=#FF8080><b>Come here, you fat fuck!</b></font>

271
00:19:09,105 --> 00:19:10,565
<font color=#FF8080><b>That's a new stool.</b></font>

272
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,895
<font color=#FF8080><b>Stay the fuck down.</b></font>

273
00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:21,244
<font color=#FF8080><b>Whoa! Took his ass out!</b></font>

274
00:19:21,284 --> 00:19:23,204
<font color=#FF8080><b>All right, move. Move, move, move.</b></font>

275
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,295
<font color=#FF8080><b>Buck, go rest.</b></font>

276
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:26,912
<font color=#FF8080><b>Boothe got hit then went down.</b></font>

277
00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:33,380
<font color=#FF8080><b>Yeah, he's still breathing.</b></font>

278
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,589
<font color=#FF8080><b>Nobody wins today.</b></font>

279
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,264
<font color=#FF8080><b>Nice try, Wade.</b></font>

280
00:19:39,302 --> 00:19:42,932
<font color=#FF8080><b>You got me. I picked Boothe
in the dead pool. Who did you pick?</b></font>

281
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,933
<font color=#FF8080><b>Yeah, Wade, about that...</b></font>

282
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:46,433
<font color=#FF8080><b>No.</b></font>

283
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,483
<font color=#FF8080><b>You did not bet on me to die.</b></font>

284
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:54,896
<font color=#FF8080><b>You bet on me to die. Wow.
Motherfucker, you're the world's worst friend.</b></font>

285
00:19:55,318 --> 00:19:57,608
<font color=#FF8080><b>Well, joke's on you. I'm living to 102.</b></font>

286
00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:59,914
<font color=#FF8080><b>And then dying.
Like the city of Detroit.</b></font>

287
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:02,778
<font color=#FF8080><b>I'm sorry. I just...
I wanted to win money.</b></font>

288
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,116
<font color=#FF8080><b>I never win anything.</b></font>

289
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,290
<font color=#FF8080><b>Whatever.</b></font>

290
00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:06,908
<font color=#FF8080><b>Soldiers of fortune, drinks on me!</b></font>

291
00:20:09,332 --> 00:20:11,252
<font color=#FF8080><b>Domestic, nothing imported.</b></font>

292
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:19,177
<font color=#FF8080><b>Baby, are you sure you wanna
shoot your whole wad?</b></font>

293
00:20:21,469 --> 00:20:22,469
<font color=#FF8080><b>Tight.</b></font>

294
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:26,099
<font color=#FF8080><b>- Vanessa.
- Wade.</b></font>

295
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,603
<font color=#FF8080><b>What's a nice place like you
doing in a girl like this?</b></font>

296
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,228
<font color=#FF8080><b>I'd hit that.</b></font>

297
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,322
<font color=#FF8080><b>Buck, you best apologize before...</b></font>

298
00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:36,856
<font color=#FF8080><b>Yeah, that.</b></font>

299
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,572
<font color=#FF8080><b>Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf.</b></font>

300
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,492
<font color=#FF8080><b>- I'm sorry.
- Breathe through the nose.</b></font>

301
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:42,700
<font color=#FF8080><b>I don't have a filter
between my brain and my...</b></font>

302
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:43,991
<font color=#FF8080><b>Let go. Okay. Hey...</b></font>

303
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,253
<font color=#FF8080><b>- Hakuna his tatas. He's sorry.
- I'm working on it.</b></font>

304
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,247
<font color=#FF8080><b>Get out of here. Go. Go cast a spell.</b></font>

305
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,251
<font color=#FF8080><b>Hey. Hands off the merchandise.</b></font>

306
00:20:53,793 --> 00:20:54,843
<font color=#FF8080><b>Merchandise?</b></font>

307
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,797
<font color=#FF8080><b>So you...</b></font>

308
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,259
<font color=#FF8080><b>bump fuzzies for money?</b></font>

309
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,049
<font color=#FF8080><b>Yep.</b></font>

310
00:21:00,091 --> 00:21:01,341
<font color=#FF8080><b>Rough childhood?</b></font>

311
00:21:01,384 --> 00:21:02,434
<font color=#FF8080><b>Rougher than yours.</b></font>

312
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:04,049
<font color=#FF8080><b>Daddy left before I was born.</b></font>

313
00:21:04,679 --> 00:21:06,219
<font color=#FF8080><b>Daddy left before I was conceived.</b></font>

314
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,072
<font color=#FF8080><b>Ever had a cigarette
put out on your skin?</b></font>

315
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:10,482
<font color=#FF8080><b>Where else do you put one out?</b></font>

316
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,809
<font color=#FF8080><b>I was molested.</b></font>

317
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,563
<font color=#FF8080><b>Me too. Uncle.</b></font>

318
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,905
<font color=#FF8080><b>Uncles. They took turns.</b></font>

319
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,821
<font color=#FF8080><b>I watched my own birthday party
through the keyhole of a locked closet...</b></font>

320
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,240
<font color=#FF8080><b>which also happens to be my...</b></font>

321
00:21:20,278 --> 00:21:23,108
<font color=#FF8080><b>Your bedroom. Lucky.
I slept in a dishwasher box.</b></font>

322
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,239
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>You had a dishwasher.</b></font>

323
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:26,870
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>I didn't even know sleep.</b></font>

324
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:30,160
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags,
brownie mix and clown porn.</b></font>

325
00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:35,459
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Who would do such a thing?</b></font>

326
00:21:37,128 --> 00:21:40,588
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Hopefully you, later tonight?</b></font>

327
00:21:43,426 --> 00:21:48,346
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Hey, what can I get for $275 and a...</b></font>

328
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,268
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>a Yogurtland rewards card?</b></font>

329
00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:53,939
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Baby, about 48 minutes
of whatever the fuck you want.</b></font>

330
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:57,147
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>And a low-fat dessert.</b></font>

331
00:22:04,155 --> 00:22:06,445
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Did she just put a gift card
in your mouth?</b></font>

332
00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,914
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>It's time to put balls in holes.</b></font>

333
00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:12,464
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>You said whatever I want.</b></font>

334
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,290
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>I get it.</b></font>

335
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,133
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>You love skee ball.</b></font>

336
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,458
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Apparently more than you love vagina.</b></font>

337
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:19,963
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>That's a tough call.</b></font>

338
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:23,129
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>I just wanna get to know
the real you, you know.</b></font>

339
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:27,015
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Not the short-shorted, two-dimensional
sex object peddled by Hollywood.</b></font>

340
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:28,429
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Balls in holes.</b></font>

341
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,306
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Balls in holes.</b></font>

342
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:31,925
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Prepare to lose tragically.</b></font>

343
00:22:31,975 --> 00:22:33,105
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Bring it, big man.</b></font>

344
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:34,143
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Okay.</b></font>

345
00:22:40,483 --> 00:22:44,863
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>The limited edition Voltron:
Defender of the Universe ring, por favor.</b></font>

346
00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:47,822
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Okay. Here we go.</b></font>

347
00:22:48,783 --> 00:22:50,913
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Had my eye on this sucker for a while.</b></font>

348
00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:52,792
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>And I will take the pencil eraser.</b></font>

349
00:22:52,829 --> 00:22:54,249
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Okay.</b></font>

350
00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:57,079
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>You are now the protector
of the planet Arus.</b></font>

351
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,085
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>And you can erase stuff...</b></font>

352
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:00,457
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>written in pencil.</b></font>

353
00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:02,257
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>M'lady?</b></font>

354
00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,627
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Well, I hate to break it to you...</b></font>

355
00:23:03,673 --> 00:23:05,513
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>but your 48 minutes are up.</b></font>

356
00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:08,799
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Hey, how many more minutes
can I get for this?</b></font>

357
00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:13,345
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>FYI, five mini lion-bots come together
to form one super-bot, so...</b></font>

358
00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:16,813
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Five mini lion-bots? Three minutes.</b></font>

359
00:23:16,853 --> 00:23:17,813
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Deal.</b></font>

360
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:20,154
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>What do we do with the remaining
two minutes, 37 seconds?</b></font>

361
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,233
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Cuddle?</b></font>

362
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:27,863
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>How long can you keep this up?</b></font>

363
00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:29,323
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>All year?</b></font>

364
00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:41,715
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Happy Valentine's Day.</b></font>

365
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:50,974
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Happy Chinese New Year.</b></font>

366
00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,352
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Year of the Dog.</b></font>

367
00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:58,731
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Relax.</b></font>

368
00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:01,402
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>And Happy International Women's Day.</b></font>

369
00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:09,069
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>No. No. No.</b></font>

370
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:12,578
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Happy Lent.</b></font>

371
00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:19,121
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>- Wade?
- Sorry.</b></font>

372
00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:20,495
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Happy Halloween.</b></font>

373
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:21,876
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Happy Halloween.</b></font>

374
00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:33,221
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Happy Thanksgiving.</b></font>

375
00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:36,433
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>I love you.</b></font>

376
00:24:40,228 --> 00:24:42,308
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>If your left leg is Thanksgiving...</b></font>

377
00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:44,015
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>and your right leg is Christmas...</b></font>

378
00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:46,858
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>can I visit you between the holidays?</b></font>

379
00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:50,608
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>That sweater is terrible.</b></font>

380
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,325
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>But red looks good on you.</b></font>

381
00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:54,486
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Red's your color.</b></font>

382
00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:56,294
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Brings out the bloodshot in your eyes.</b></font>

383
00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:58,414
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Listen, I've been thinking...</b></font>

384
00:24:58,455 --> 00:24:59,455
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Really?</b></font>

385
00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:01,793
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>...about why we're so good together.</b></font>

386
00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:03,289
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Why's that?</b></font>

387
00:25:05,295 --> 00:25:07,805
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Your crazy matches my crazy.
Big time.</b></font>

388
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:12,930
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>And, we're like two jigsaw pieces,
you know, the weird curvy edges...</b></font>

389
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:15,723
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>You put them together
and you can see the picture on top.</b></font>

390
00:25:16,723 --> 00:25:17,723
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Right.</b></font>

391
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:19,315
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Wade...</b></font>

392
00:25:19,976 --> 00:25:22,556
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>there's something I've been
meaning to ask you.</b></font>

393
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,114
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>But only because you haven't
gotten around to asking me.</b></font>

394
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,284
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Will you...</b></font>

395
00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:31,396
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>- stick it in my...
- Marry me?</b></font>

396
00:25:34,407 --> 00:25:35,407
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Jinx?</b></font>

397
00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:38,445
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Where were you hiding that?</b></font>

398
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:39,505
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Nowhere.</b></font>

399
00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:42,250
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>They say one month's salary. So...</b></font>

400
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:43,290
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>You mean?</b></font>

401
00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:44,463
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>I do.</b></font>

402
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:45,501
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>That's my line.</b></font>

403
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:50,469
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>I love you, Wade Wilson.</b></font>

404
00:25:51,299 --> 00:25:52,629
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>You're supposed to...
So that's a...</b></font>

405
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:53,676
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Yes!</b></font>

406
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,008
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Yes!</b></font>

407
00:25:58,139 --> 00:25:59,599
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>I feel just like a little girl.</b></font>

408
00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:07,268
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>What if I just held on and never let go?</b></font>

409
00:26:07,315 --> 00:26:09,855
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Just ride a bitch's back,
like Yoda on Luke.</b></font>

410
00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,361
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Star Wars jokes.</b></font>

411
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,031
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Empire.</b></font>

412
00:26:15,490 --> 00:26:18,700
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Jesus Christ.
It's like I made you in a computer.</b></font>

413
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:24,039
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Hey.</b></font>

414
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,135
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Perfect.</b></font>

415
00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:31,797
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>- Let's see.
- All right, wee break.</b></font>

416
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,130
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Shake it, yeah.</b></font>

417
00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:40,519
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Here's the thing.</b></font>

418
00:26:40,891 --> 00:26:42,851
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Life is an endless series
of train-wrecks...</b></font>

419
00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:46,403
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>with only brief,
commercial-like breaks of happiness.</b></font>

420
00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:50,065
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>This had been the ultimate
commercial break.</b></font>

421
00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:55,777
<font color=#FF7DFF><b>Which meant it was time to return
to our regularly scheduled program.</b></font>

422
00:26:55,822 --> 00:26:56,822
<font color=#82C0FF><b>What the...</b></font>

423
00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:58,829
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Oh, my God. Wade?</b></font>

424
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,373
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You're clowning.</b></font>

425
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:08,255
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You're not clowning?</b></font>

426
00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:09,668
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I sense clowns.</b></font>

427
00:27:10,086 --> 00:27:13,586
<font color=#82C0FF><b>People react to news
of late-stage cancer differently.</b></font>

428
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:18,182
<font color=#82C0FF><b>There are certainly options we can look into.
New drugs are being developed every day.</b></font>

429
00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:23,854
<font color=#82C0FF><b>So what do we do?</b></font>

430
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,686
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Surely there is something we can do.</b></font>

431
00:27:27,854 --> 00:27:30,484
<font color=#82C0FF><b>My uncle Ivan was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer...</b></font>

432
00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:33,074
<font color=#82C0FF><b>and there were all these
new experimental drugs from Germany.</b></font>

433
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:37,359
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Vanessa's already working on
Plan A, B, all the way through Z.</b></font>

434
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:41,196
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Me? I'm memorizing
the details of her face.</b></font>

435
00:27:41,868 --> 00:27:44,248
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Like it's the first time I'm seeing it.</b></font>

436
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:45,461
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Or the last.</b></font>

437
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:46,997
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Mr. Wilson...</b></font>

438
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,460
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Mr. Wilson?</b></font>

439
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:51,165
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Take your time to process this.</b></font>

440
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:54,132
<font color=#82C0FF><b>It's important not to do anything rash.</b></font>

441
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:10,944
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Now, if I were a 200-pound sack of assholes
named Francis, where would I hide?</b></font>

442
00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:40,803
<font color=#82C0FF><b>A hush falls over the crowd
as rookie sensation Wade W. Wilson...</b></font>

443
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:44,314
<font color=#82C0FF><b>out of Regina, Saskatchewan,
lines up the shot.</b></font>

444
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:47,644
<font color=#82C0FF><b>His form looks good.</b></font>

445
00:28:49,769 --> 00:28:53,559
<font color=#82C0FF><b>And that's why Regina rhymes with fun.</b></font>

446
00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:56,479
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Ladies and gentlemen,
what you're witnessing...</b></font>

447
00:28:56,526 --> 00:28:58,776
<font color=#82C0FF><b>is sweet dick-kicking revenge.</b></font>

448
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:01,281
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Giving him the business.</b></font>

449
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:02,865
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Incoming!</b></font>

450
00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:07,659
<font color=#82C0FF><b>This is taking unsportsmanlike
conduct to a whole new level!</b></font>

451
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:16,671
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Looking good, Francis. Well rested.
Like you've been pitching, not catching.</b></font>

452
00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:19,215
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Ringing any bells? No?</b></font>

453
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:25,429
<font color=#82C0FF><b>How about now?</b></font>

454
00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:31,604
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Wade fucking Wilson.</b></font>

455
00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:35,395
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Well, hello, gorgeous.</b></font>

456
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,440
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Yeah, like I got bit
by a radioactive Shar-Pei.</b></font>

457
00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:41,655
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Yeah. And whose fault is that,
huh, Francis?</b></font>

458
00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:43,736
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Yeah, time to undo
what you did to this butterface.</b></font>

459
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,782
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Please, you should thank me.
Apparently, I made you immortal.</b></font>

460
00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:48,748
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I'm actually quite jealous.</b></font>

461
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:51,037
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Yeah, but this ain't
a life worth living, is it?</b></font>

462
00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:57,254
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Now, I'm about to do to you what Limp
Bizkit did to music in the late 90s.</b></font>

463
00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:00,673
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Dad?</b></font>

464
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:08,472
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I think we can all agree that shit just
went sideways in the most colossal way.</b></font>

465
00:30:09,516 --> 00:30:11,476
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Well, maybe not the most.</b></font>

466
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,731
<font color=#82C0FF><b>This is my most prized possession.</b></font>

467
00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:17,358
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Wham?</b></font>

468
00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:19,229
<font color=#82C0FF><b>No, no, no. Wham!</b></font>

469
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:23,238
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Make It Big is the album that George
and Andy earned the exclamation point.</b></font>

470
00:30:24,281 --> 00:30:27,201
<font color=#82C0FF><b>So, am I supposed to just smile
and wave you out the door?</b></font>

471
00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:28,832
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Think of it like spring cleaning.</b></font>

472
00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:30,159
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Only if spring was death.</b></font>

473
00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:34,173
<font color=#82C0FF><b>God, if I had a nickel for every time
I spanked it to Bernadette Peters.</b></font>

474
00:30:35,208 --> 00:30:36,668
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Sounds like you do.</b></font>

475
00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:41,462
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Bernadette is not going anywhere,
because you're not going anywhere.</b></font>

476
00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:42,506
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Drink.</b></font>

477
00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:45,466
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You're right. Cancer is only in my liver,
lungs, prostate, and brain.</b></font>

478
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,710
<font color=#82C0FF><b>All things I can live without.</b></font>

479
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,972
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You belong here at home.</b></font>

480
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:54,636
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Surrounded by your Voltron
and your Bernadette, and your me.</b></font>

481
00:30:55,979 --> 00:30:59,439
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Listen, we both know
that cancer is a shit-show.</b></font>

482
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:07,369
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Like, a Yakov-Smirnoff-opening-for-the-
Spin-Doctors-at-the-Iowa-State-Fair shit-show.</b></font>

483
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:12,656
<font color=#82C0FF><b>And under no circumstances
will I take you to that show.</b></font>

484
00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:15,669
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I want you to remember me.</b></font>

485
00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:19,039
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Not the ghost of Christmas me.</b></font>

486
00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:20,875
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Well, I wanna remember us.</b></font>

487
00:31:21,338 --> 00:31:23,008
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I swear to God,
I will find you in the next life...</b></font>

488
00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:26,218
<font color=#82C0FF><b>and I'm gonna boom-box Careless Whisper
outside your window.</b></font>

489
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:27,679
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Wham!</b></font>

490
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:34,056
<font color=#82C0FF><b>No one is boom-boxing shit. Okay?</b></font>

491
00:31:36,645 --> 00:31:38,025
<font color=#82C0FF><b>We can fight this.</b></font>

492
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:43,361
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Besides, I just realized something.</b></font>

493
00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:49,324
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You win. Your life is officially
way more fucked up than mine.</b></font>

494
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:54,745
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I love you.</b></font>

495
00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:07,554
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Wade.</b></font>

496
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:10,971
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Weas.</b></font>

497
00:32:11,012 --> 00:32:13,562
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You look like you need
a Blow Job and a shower.</b></font>

498
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,728
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Though courtesy calls
for the latter first.</b></font>

499
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,437
<font color=#82C0FF><b>How about three shots of Patrón?</b></font>

500
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:21,227
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Or how about Triticum aestivum, wheatgrass.</b></font>

501
00:32:21,273 --> 00:32:22,653
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Excellent for the immune system.</b></font>

502
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:24,781
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Jesus Christ. You sound like Vanessa.</b></font>

503
00:32:24,818 --> 00:32:25,988
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Here, check it out.</b></font>

504
00:32:26,027 --> 00:32:29,487
<font color=#82C0FF><b>She's sending away for all these
colorful clinic brochures.</b></font>

505
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,281
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I'm sure they're all FDA approved.</b></font>

506
00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:34,701
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Chechnya. Isn't that where you go
to get cancer?</b></font>

507
00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:37,504
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You got China and Central Mexico.</b></font>

508
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,206
<font color=#82C0FF><b>You know how they say "cancer" in Spanish?</b></font>

509
00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:41,290
<font color=#82C0FF><b>No.</b></font>

510
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,670
<font color=#82C0FF><b>El Cáncer.</b></font>

511
00:32:43,712 --> 00:32:45,552
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I could have guessed that.</b></font>

512
00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:47,472
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Look how happy you look here.</b></font>

513
00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:51,507
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Mind if I keep this? Put it up,
so I can remember when you looked alive.</b></font>

514
00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:53,972
<font color=#82C0FF><b>At least now I'm gonna win the dead pool.</b></font>

515
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:56,724
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Now that you're gonna die
tragically of cancer.</b></font>

516
00:32:56,766 --> 00:32:58,346
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I got it, Weas. Thanks.</b></font>

517
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:03,816
<font color=#82C0FF><b>And that guy over there
came in looking for you.</b></font>

518
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:06,727
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Real Grim Reaper type.</b></font>

519
00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:08,736
<font color=#82C0FF><b>I don't know. Might further the plot.</b></font>

520
00:33:12,741 --> 00:33:13,831
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Boothe.</b></font>

521
00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:14,947
<font color=#82C0FF><b>Wade.</b></font>

522
00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:21,332
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Mr. Wilson.</b></font>

523
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:22,920
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>How can I help you?</b></font>

524
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:25,669
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Besides luring children into a panel van.</b></font>

525
00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:29,382
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I understand you've recently
been diagnosed with terminal cancer.</b></font>

526
00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:30,554
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Stalker alert.</b></font>

527
00:33:30,592 --> 00:33:32,762
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>It's my job. Recruitment.</b></font>

528
00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:35,932
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I'm sorry you've had such a tough go.</b></font>

529
00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:39,347
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>But you're a fighter. Special Forces.</b></font>

530
00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,732
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>41 confirmed kills.</b></font>

531
00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:43,690
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>One every seven weeks.</b></font>

532
00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:45,610
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Same rate most folks get a haircut.</b></font>

533
00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:48,035
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>It's to wash the taste out.</b></font>

534
00:33:48,318 --> 00:33:51,528
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>It's tough to forget being so impressive.</b></font>

535
00:33:51,571 --> 00:33:55,661
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>And now you spend your days
sticking up for the little people...</b></font>

536
00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:57,240
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>People change. What do you want?</b></font>

537
00:33:57,619 --> 00:34:00,659
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I represent an organization
that may be able to help.</b></font>

538
00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:06,294
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>What if I told you
we can cure your cancer?</b></font>

539
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:11,010
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>And what's more, give you abilities
most men only dream of?</b></font>

540
00:34:14,678 --> 00:34:18,768
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I'd say that you sound like an infomercial,
but not a good one, like Slap Chop.</b></font>

541
00:34:18,807 --> 00:34:20,427
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>More Shake Weight-y.</b></font>

542
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:23,475
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>The world needs extraordinary soldiers.</b></font>

543
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,690
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>We won't just make you better.</b></font>

544
00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:28,690
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>We will make you better than better.</b></font>

545
00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:30,994
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>A superhero.</b></font>

546
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:36,319
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Look, Agent Smith,
I tried the hero business and it left a mark.</b></font>

547
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:39,413
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>But if I ever hit "fuck it,"
I'll look you up.</b></font>

548
00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:44,670
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Shit. We're within 500 yards of a school,
so you may wanna...</b></font>

549
00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:50,881
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>His drink's on him.</b></font>

550
00:34:56,553 --> 00:34:58,303
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>What did he say?</b></font>

551
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:22,542
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Hey, what's going on?</b></font>

552
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,038
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Hey. Sorry.</b></font>

553
00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:28,499
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I had a Liam Neeson nightmare.</b></font>

554
00:35:29,377 --> 00:35:32,547
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter
and he just wasn't having it.</b></font>

555
00:35:40,263 --> 00:35:44,483
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Hey, they've made three of those movies.</b></font>

556
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:48,647
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>At some point you have to wonder
if he's just a bad parent.</b></font>

557
00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:06,656
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>The worst part about cancer
isn't what it does to you...</b></font>

558
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,920
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>but what it does to the people you love.</b></font>

559
00:36:10,210 --> 00:36:12,920
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Who knew if this guy could save my life...</b></font>

560
00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:15,513
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>but I knew there was only
one way that I could save hers.</b></font>

561
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,928
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Isn't that what superheroes do?</b></font>

562
00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:38,316
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Okay. Let's pro-con this superhero thing.</b></font>

563
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,200
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Pro: They pull down a gaggle of ass.</b></font>

564
00:36:43,243 --> 00:36:44,623
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Local dry cleaning discounts.</b></font>

565
00:36:44,661 --> 00:36:48,711
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Lucrative film deals, both origin stories
and larger ensemble team movies.</b></font>

566
00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:51,918
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Con: They're all lame-ass teacher's pets.</b></font>

567
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,670
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>You know, I can hear you.</b></font>

568
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:56,882
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to them.</b></font>

569
00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:58,633
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Stay right here.</b></font>

570
00:36:59,009 --> 00:37:01,089
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>You've been warned before, Deadpool.</b></font>

571
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:05,006
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>This is a shameful and
reckless use of your powers.</b></font>

572
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:07,266
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>You will both be coming with us.</b></font>

573
00:37:07,309 --> 00:37:11,229
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Look, Colossus, I don't have time for the
goody two-shoes bullshit right now!</b></font>

574
00:37:11,271 --> 00:37:13,111
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>And you are?</b></font>

575
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:16,573
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Negasonic Teenage Warhead.</b></font>

576
00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:20,070
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Negasonic Teenage...
What the shit?</b></font>

577
00:37:20,113 --> 00:37:21,863
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>That's the coolest name ever!</b></font>

578
00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:26,038
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>So, what, you're like, his sidekick?</b></font>

579
00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:27,577
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>No. Trainee.</b></font>

580
00:37:27,621 --> 00:37:29,081
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Let me guess.</b></font>

581
00:37:29,122 --> 00:37:31,622
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>X-Men left you behind on what?
Shit detail?</b></font>

582
00:37:31,666 --> 00:37:32,786
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>What does that make you?</b></font>

583
00:37:32,834 --> 00:37:35,254
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Pretending you're not here,
Negasonic Teenage Warhead.</b></font>

584
00:37:35,295 --> 00:37:36,555
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Can we trade names?</b></font>

585
00:37:37,214 --> 00:37:38,214
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Can we go?</b></font>

586
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:40,626
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Look! I'm a teenage girl.</b></font>

587
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,885
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I'd rather be anywhere than here.</b></font>

588
00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:45,138
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I'm all about long sullen silences...</b></font>

589
00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:48,640
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>followed by mean comments,
followed by more silences.</b></font>

590
00:37:49,059 --> 00:37:52,439
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>So what's it gonna be, huh?
Long sullen silence...</b></font>

591
00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:55,019
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>or mean comment? Go on.</b></font>

592
00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:57,574
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>You got me in a box here.</b></font>

593
00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:00,570
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>We can't allow this, Deadpool.</b></font>

594
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:02,072
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Please, come quietly.</b></font>

595
00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,413
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>You big chrome cock-gobbler!</b></font>

596
00:38:04,449 --> 00:38:05,449
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>That's not nice.</b></font>

597
00:38:05,492 --> 00:38:07,092
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>You're really gonna fuck this up for me?</b></font>

598
00:38:07,327 --> 00:38:11,747
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Trust me, that wheezing bag
of dick-tips has it coming.</b></font>

599
00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:14,330
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>He's pure evil.</b></font>

600
00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:17,999
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Besides... nobody's getting hurt.</b></font>

601
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:25,601
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>That guy was already up there
when I got here.</b></font>

602
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:28,807
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Wade, you are better than this.</b></font>

603
00:38:28,849 --> 00:38:32,349
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>- Join us. Use your powers for good.
- Heads up.</b></font>

604
00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:33,814
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Be a superhero.</b></font>

605
00:38:33,854 --> 00:38:34,774
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Listen!</b></font>

606
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,173
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>The day I decide to become
a crime-fighting shit-swizzler...</b></font>

607
00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:40,614
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>who rooms with a bunch of other
little whiners at the Neverland mansion...</b></font>

608
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:45,532
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>of some creepy, old, bald,
Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker...</b></font>

609
00:38:45,574 --> 00:38:47,334
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>on that day...</b></font>

610
00:38:47,576 --> 00:38:49,616
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>I'll send your shiny,
happy ass a friend request.</b></font>

611
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:52,161
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>But until then,
I'mma do what I came here to do.</b></font>

612
00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:54,955
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Either that or slap the bitch outta you!</b></font>

613
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,250
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>- Wade...
- Hey.</b></font>

614
00:38:56,293 --> 00:38:57,503
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Zip it, Sinéad!</b></font>

615
00:38:57,544 --> 00:38:58,674
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Hey, douche-pool!</b></font>

616
00:38:58,712 --> 00:38:59,922
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>And I hope you're watching...</b></font>

617
00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:06,426
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Quite unfortunate.</b></font>

618
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:12,056
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>That does it!</b></font>

619
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:17,808
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Canada!</b></font>

620
00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:20,227
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>That's not good.</b></font>

621
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:21,365
<font color=#FFFFFF><b>Wade, please.</b></font>

622
00:39:21,401 --> 00:39:22,401
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Cock shot!</b></font>

623
00:39:24,487 --> 00:39:26,027
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Your poor wife.</b></font>

624
00:39:26,072 --> 00:39:27,872
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You really should stop.</b></font>

625
00:39:31,453 --> 00:39:33,833
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>All the dinosaurs feared the T. rex.</b></font>

626
00:39:38,502 --> 00:39:40,712
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I promise this gets worse for you, big boy!</b></font>

627
00:39:40,754 --> 00:39:41,924
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>This is embarrassing.</b></font>

628
00:39:42,672 --> 00:39:44,472
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Please, stay down.</b></font>

629
00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:48,012
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You ever hear of the one-legged man
in the ass-kicking contest?</b></font>

630
00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:49,513
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Do you have off switch?</b></font>

631
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:52,354
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Yeah, it's right next to the prostate.
Or is that the on switch?</b></font>

632
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:53,390
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Enough!</b></font>

633
00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:04,896
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Let us go talk to the Professor.</b></font>

634
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:07,203
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>McAvoy or Stewart?</b></font>

635
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,449
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>These timelines are so confusing.</b></font>

636
00:40:10,784 --> 00:40:13,454
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>"Dead or alive, you're coming with me!"</b></font>

637
00:40:13,495 --> 00:40:15,045
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You will recover, Wade.</b></font>

638
00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:16,960
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You always do.</b></font>

639
00:40:21,461 --> 00:40:24,881
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You ever see 127 Hours? Spoiler alert.</b></font>

640
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:29,805
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Oh, my God.</b></font>

641
00:40:29,845 --> 00:40:30,895
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Nasty.</b></font>

642
00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:36,095
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>There's the money shot, baby.</b></font>

643
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,520
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.</b></font>

644
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,867
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Rock, meet bottom.</b></font>

645
00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:55,367
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>And when life ends up
breathtakingly fucked...</b></font>

646
00:40:55,620 --> 00:40:59,870
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>you can generally trace it back
to one big, bad decision.</b></font>

647
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:03,166
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>The one that sent you
down the road to Shitsburgh.</b></font>

648
00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:06,261
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>This? Well, this was mine.</b></font>

649
00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:08,258
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Mr. Wilson.</b></font>

650
00:41:09,634 --> 00:41:14,184
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Nothing warms my heart more
than a change of someone else's.</b></font>

651
00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:15,932
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You finally hit "fuck it."</b></font>

652
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:19,100
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Just promise you'll do right by me.</b></font>

653
00:41:19,769 --> 00:41:21,769
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>So I can do right by someone else.</b></font>

654
00:41:21,813 --> 00:41:22,983
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Of course.</b></font>

655
00:41:23,732 --> 00:41:25,482
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>And please don't make the super-suit green.</b></font>

656
00:41:26,776 --> 00:41:28,276
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Or animated.</b></font>

657
00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:37,834
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Move it! Keep moving.</b></font>

658
00:41:48,465 --> 00:41:50,595
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>This place seems sanitary.</b></font>

659
00:41:51,343 --> 00:41:53,593
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>My first request is warmer hands.</b></font>

660
00:41:54,137 --> 00:41:57,427
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>And, Jesus, a warmer table.</b></font>

661
00:41:58,975 --> 00:42:00,935
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>We should really come up
with a safe word, fellas.</b></font>

662
00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:03,016
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I'm thinking "pork and beans."</b></font>

663
00:42:07,317 --> 00:42:08,527
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Easy.</b></font>

664
00:42:10,529 --> 00:42:12,819
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Aren't you a little strong for a lady?</b></font>

665
00:42:13,615 --> 00:42:14,995
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I'm calling wang.</b></font>

666
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:20,120
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>What's up with the matches?</b></font>

667
00:42:20,372 --> 00:42:23,122
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Oral fixation
or just a big Stallone fan?</b></font>

668
00:42:24,668 --> 00:42:25,958
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Patience, Angel.</b></font>

669
00:42:26,878 --> 00:42:28,628
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>All in good time.</b></font>

670
00:42:28,672 --> 00:42:30,592
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Are you here for the turndown service,
or what?</b></font>

671
00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:33,425
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>We have another talker.</b></font>

672
00:42:33,468 --> 00:42:35,298
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I'm just excited about my first day
at superhero camp.</b></font>

673
00:42:35,345 --> 00:42:37,505
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Shut the fuck up.</b></font>

674
00:42:40,851 --> 00:42:42,811
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Mr. Wilson, my name's Ajax.</b></font>

675
00:42:43,770 --> 00:42:45,860
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I manage this workshop.</b></font>

676
00:42:46,940 --> 00:42:50,230
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>My welcome speech used to be
full of euphemisms like...</b></font>

677
00:42:50,277 --> 00:42:53,907
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>"This may hurt a little."
"This may cause you some discomfort."</b></font>

678
00:42:53,947 --> 00:42:56,237
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>But I've grown blunt.</b></font>

679
00:42:56,283 --> 00:42:58,913
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>This workshop is not
a government-led program.</b></font>

680
00:42:58,952 --> 00:43:02,622
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>It's a private institution that turns
reclamation projects like yourself...</b></font>

681
00:43:02,664 --> 00:43:06,004
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>into men of extraordinary abilities.</b></font>

682
00:43:07,627 --> 00:43:10,877
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>But if you think superhuman powers
are acquired painlessly...</b></font>

683
00:43:11,798 --> 00:43:12,798
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Wrong.</b></font>

684
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:17,390
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I'm injecting you with a serum that activates
any mutant genes lurking in your DNA.</b></font>

685
00:43:17,637 --> 00:43:21,557
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>For it to work we need to subject
you to extreme stress.</b></font>

686
00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:30,322
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You've heard that whole
"make an omelet, break some eggs" bit, right?</b></font>

687
00:43:31,067 --> 00:43:32,487
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I'm about to hurt you, Wade.</b></font>

688
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:36,203
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I was a patient here once myself, you know.</b></font>

689
00:43:36,740 --> 00:43:39,240
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>The treatment affects everyone differently.</b></font>

690
00:43:39,576 --> 00:43:42,406
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>It made Angel inhumanly strong.</b></font>

691
00:43:42,746 --> 00:43:46,746
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>In my case, it enhanced my reflexes.</b></font>

692
00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:50,210
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Also scorched my nerve endings,
so I no longer feel pain.</b></font>

693
00:43:51,922 --> 00:43:55,762
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>And, in fact, I no longer feel anything.</b></font>

694
00:44:04,267 --> 00:44:07,057
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Thanks! Thank you. Thank you.</b></font>

695
00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:09,114
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You have something in your teeth.</b></font>

696
00:44:10,023 --> 00:44:12,233
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Right in the middle there.
Just, I don't...</b></font>

697
00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:15,185
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>A little nugget of romaine lettuce
or something.</b></font>

698
00:44:17,197 --> 00:44:19,617
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>It's been bothering me for a long time.</b></font>

699
00:44:21,076 --> 00:44:22,116
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Made you look.</b></font>

700
00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:25,870
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Is Ajax your actual name?
Because it sounds suspiciously made up.</b></font>

701
00:44:25,914 --> 00:44:27,044
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>What is it really?</b></font>

702
00:44:27,082 --> 00:44:29,502
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Kevin? Bruce? Scott?</b></font>

703
00:44:29,543 --> 00:44:31,133
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Mitch? The Rickster?</b></font>

704
00:44:31,795 --> 00:44:33,305
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Is it Basil Fawlty?</b></font>

705
00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:35,130
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Joke away.</b></font>

706
00:44:35,590 --> 00:44:38,470
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>One thing that never survives this place
is a sense of humor.</b></font>

707
00:44:38,969 --> 00:44:40,259
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>We'll see about that.</b></font>

708
00:44:40,303 --> 00:44:41,643
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>I suppose we will.</b></font>

709
00:44:42,973 --> 00:44:44,563
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>He's all yours.</b></font>

710
00:44:44,599 --> 00:44:45,809
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Come on.</b></font>

711
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:49,439
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You're gonna leave me all alone here
with less-angry Rosie O'Donnell?</b></font>

712
00:44:53,817 --> 00:44:55,897
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>This is how it's going to work.</b></font>

713
00:44:55,944 --> 00:44:58,954
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Adrenaline acts as a
catalyst for the serum...</b></font>

714
00:44:59,573 --> 00:45:02,083
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>so we're going to have to
make you suffer.</b></font>

715
00:45:03,827 --> 00:45:08,657
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>If you're lucky, the mutant genes will activate
and manifest in a spectacular fashion.</b></font>

716
00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:15,801
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>If not, well, we'll have
to keep on hurting you...</b></font>

717
00:45:17,632 --> 00:45:20,342
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>in new and different ways,
each more painful than the last...</b></font>

718
00:45:23,013 --> 00:45:25,353
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>until you finally mutate.</b></font>

719
00:45:26,975 --> 00:45:28,185
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Or die.</b></font>

720
00:45:35,025 --> 00:45:36,655
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>You mean like a bucket list?</b></font>

721
00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:38,993
<font color=#D6D6D6><b>Like a fuck-it list.</b></font>

722
00:45:39,029 --> 00:45:41,699
<font color=#FF962D><b>I'd really like to light a spliff
off the Olympic torch.</b></font>

723
00:45:42,282 --> 00:45:44,162
<font color=#FF962D><b>Pass it to me right after.</b></font>

724
00:45:44,201 --> 00:45:50,161
<font color=#FF962D><b>Let's not forget naked tandem base-jumping
with the WNBA's Sacramento Monarchs.</b></font>

725
00:45:51,208 --> 00:45:54,338
<font color=#FF962D><b>Anything on my bucket list
would involve public nudity.</b></font>

726
00:45:54,836 --> 00:45:57,706
<font color=#FF962D><b>Finally, giving Meredith Baxter-Birney
a Dutch oven.</b></font>

727
00:45:58,006 --> 00:46:01,126
<font color=#FF962D><b>No. Receiving a Dutch oven
from Meredith Baxter-Birney.</b></font>

728
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:09,225
<font color=#FF962D><b>Making banana pancakes for my kids.</b></font>

729
00:46:12,646 --> 00:46:14,686
<font color=#FF962D><b>Vanessa.</b></font>

730
00:46:18,193 --> 00:46:20,573
<font color=#FF962D><b>I wanna see Vanessa.</b></font>

731
00:46:20,612 --> 00:46:22,032
<font color=#FF962D><b>You're lovely.</b></font>

732
00:46:22,072 --> 00:46:25,492
<font color=#FF962D><b>I don't know about anyone else,
but I'm touched.</b></font>

733
00:46:25,534 --> 00:46:26,664
<font color=#FF962D><b>We were just joking.</b></font>

734
00:46:26,701 --> 00:46:29,001
<font color=#FF962D><b>No, no. It's okay.</b></font>

735
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:31,750
<font color=#FF962D><b>I encourage distractions.</b></font>

736
00:46:32,499 --> 00:46:34,879
<font color=#FF962D><b>Wouldn't want you giving up on us,
now would we?</b></font>

737
00:46:34,918 --> 00:46:36,748
<font color=#FF962D><b>Hey, don't take any shit from him,
Cunningham.</b></font>

738
00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:40,092
<font color=#FF962D><b>How tough can he be...</b></font>

739
00:46:40,131 --> 00:46:43,051
<font color=#FF962D><b>with a name like Francis?</b></font>

740
00:46:43,635 --> 00:46:44,765
<font color=#FF962D><b>Francis?</b></font>

741
00:46:45,053 --> 00:46:46,473
<font color=#FF962D><b>That's his legal name.</b></font>

742
00:46:47,097 --> 00:46:50,557
<font color=#FF962D><b>He got "Ajax" from the dish soap.</b></font>

743
00:46:52,602 --> 00:46:56,192
<font color=#FF962D><b>F-R-A-N-C-I...</b></font>

744
00:46:56,690 --> 00:46:58,020
<font color=#FF962D><b>Oops!</b></font>

745
00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:02,698
<font color=#FF962D><b>Snagged the dry cleaning tag
off your lab coat.</b></font>

746
00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:07,034
<font color=#FF962D><b>FYI, I could probably get you
the superhero discount.</b></font>

747
00:47:07,075 --> 00:47:08,485
<font color=#FF962D><b>You are so relentlessly annoying.</b></font>

748
00:47:08,535 --> 00:47:09,585
<font color=#FF962D><b>Thanks.</b></font>

749
00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:10,869
<font color=#FF962D><b>Never heard that before.</b></font>

750
00:47:10,912 --> 00:47:14,172
<font color=#FF962D><b>Why don't you do us all a favor
and shut the fuck up?</b></font>

751
00:47:14,207 --> 00:47:16,207
<font color=#FF962D><b>Or I'll sew your pretty mouth shut.</b></font>

752
00:47:18,003 --> 00:47:19,753
<font color=#FF962D><b>I wouldn't do that if I were you.</b></font>

753
00:47:19,796 --> 00:47:23,046
<font color=#FF962D><b>See, here's the problem
with round-the-clock torture...</b></font>

754
00:47:23,091 --> 00:47:26,051
<font color=#FF962D><b>is that you can't really
step it up from there.</b></font>

755
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,020
<font color=#FF962D><b>Is that what you think?</b></font>

756
00:47:36,313 --> 00:47:38,823
<font color=#FF962D><b>If this doesn't unlock your mutation,
then, well...</b></font>

757
00:47:39,649 --> 00:47:40,939
<font color=#FF962D><b>nothing will.</b></font>

758
00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:44,359
<font color=#FF962D><b>Now, what we're going to do is lower
the oxygen concentration in the air...</b></font>

759
00:47:44,404 --> 00:47:47,034
<font color=#FF962D><b>to the exact point you feel
like you're suffocating.</b></font>

760
00:47:47,324 --> 00:47:50,494
<font color=#FF962D><b>If your brainwaves slow,
meaning you're about to pass out...</b></font>

761
00:47:51,161 --> 00:47:52,291
<font color=#FF962D><b>then we'll turn up the O2.</b></font>

762
00:47:53,330 --> 00:47:54,750
<font color=#FF962D><b>If your heart rate slows...</b></font>

763
00:47:54,789 --> 00:47:57,499
<font color=#FF962D><b>meaning you're able to catch your breath...</b></font>

764
00:47:57,542 --> 00:47:58,922
<font color=#FF962D><b>we'll turn it back down.</b></font>

765
00:47:59,544 --> 00:48:03,214
<font color=#FF962D><b>And that's where we'll leave you.
Right there.</b></font>

766
00:48:03,590 --> 00:48:05,880
<font color=#FF962D><b>And I thought you guys were dicks before.</b></font>

767
00:48:05,926 --> 00:48:08,336
<font color=#FF962D><b>You know the funniest part of this?</b></font>

768
00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:11,465
<font color=#FF962D><b>You still think we're
making you a superhero.</b></font>

769
00:48:12,307 --> 00:48:15,767
<font color=#FF962D><b>You. A dishonorable discharge.</b></font>

770
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:18,560
<font color=#FF962D><b>Hip-deep in hookers.</b></font>

771
00:48:19,272 --> 00:48:20,902
<font color=#FF962D><b>You're nothing.</b></font>

772
00:48:21,858 --> 00:48:23,318
<font color=#FF962D><b>Little secret, Wade.</b></font>

773
00:48:24,152 --> 00:48:28,242
<font color=#FF962D><b>This workshop doesn't make superheroes,
we make super-slaves.</b></font>

774
00:48:29,324 --> 00:48:33,084
<font color=#FF962D><b>We're gonna fit you with a control collar
and auction you off to the highest bidder.</b></font>

775
00:48:33,870 --> 00:48:35,390
<font color=#FF962D><b>Who knows what they'll have you doing?</b></font>

776
00:48:36,081 --> 00:48:39,541
<font color=#FF962D><b>Terrorizing citizens,
putting down freedom fighters.</b></font>

777
00:48:41,711 --> 00:48:44,551
<font color=#FF962D><b>Maybe just mow the occasional lawn.</b></font>

778
00:48:45,048 --> 00:48:47,508
<font color=#FF962D><b>What the fuck is wrong with you?</b></font>

779
00:48:52,764 --> 00:48:55,604
<font color=#FF962D><b>You're never going home after this.</b></font>

780
00:48:55,642 --> 00:48:57,852
<font color=#FF962D><b>Now there's a brave face.</b></font>

781
00:48:58,895 --> 00:49:00,435
<font color=#FF962D><b>Wait, wait! Wait. Wait.</b></font>

782
00:49:02,774 --> 00:49:06,694
<font color=#FF962D><b>Seriously, you actually have something
in your teeth now.</b></font>

783
00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:09,993
<font color=#FF962D><b>Enjoy your weekend.</b></font>

784
00:49:10,365 --> 00:49:12,075
<font color=#FF962D><b>"Weekend"? Back up.</b></font>

785
00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:13,327
<font color=#FF962D><b>Weekend?</b></font>

786
00:49:55,035 --> 00:49:57,125
<font color=#FF962D><b>Did I say this was a love story?</b></font>

787
00:49:57,162 --> 00:49:59,622
<font color=#FF962D><b>No, it's a horror movie.</b></font>

788
00:50:16,097 --> 00:50:18,267
<font color=#FF962D><b>Fucking hell.</b></font>

789
00:50:18,308 --> 00:50:21,558
<font color=#FF962D><b>Looks like someone lost his shot
at Homecoming King.</b></font>

790
00:50:21,603 --> 00:50:23,693
<font color=#FF962D><b>What have you done to me?</b></font>

791
00:50:23,730 --> 00:50:27,110
<font color=#FF962D><b>I've merely raised your stress levels
high enough to trigger a mutation.</b></font>

792
00:50:27,150 --> 00:50:29,280
<font color=#FF962D><b>You sadistic fuck!</b></font>

793
00:50:29,986 --> 00:50:31,486
<font color=#FF962D><b>I've cured you, Wade.</b></font>

794
00:50:32,322 --> 00:50:33,962
<font color=#FF962D><b>Now your mutated cells can heal anything.</b></font>

795
00:50:35,075 --> 00:50:37,835
<font color=#FF962D><b>It's attacking your cancer
as fast as it can form.</b></font>

796
00:50:39,079 --> 00:50:41,659
<font color=#FF962D><b>Yeah, I've seen similar
side effects before.</b></font>

797
00:50:42,958 --> 00:50:43,998
<font color=#FF962D><b>I could cure them...</b></font>

798
00:50:47,587 --> 00:50:49,257
<font color=#FF962D><b>but where's the fun in that?</b></font>

799
00:50:51,591 --> 00:50:54,141
<font color=#FF962D><b>Now, I'm gonna shut you in again, Wade.</b></font>

800
00:50:55,929 --> 00:50:57,889
<font color=#FF962D><b>Not because I need to.</b></font>

801
00:51:01,852 --> 00:51:03,562
<font color=#FF962D><b>Because I want to.</b></font>

802
00:51:18,034 --> 00:51:19,244
<font color=#FF962D><b>Oh, well.</b></font>

803
00:51:19,286 --> 00:51:20,496
<font color=#FF962D><b>Go ahead.</b></font>

804
00:51:23,707 --> 00:51:25,537
<font color=#FF962D><b>You smell like shit.</b></font>

805
00:51:28,837 --> 00:51:29,877
<font color=#FF962D><b>Motherfucker.</b></font>

806
00:51:30,797 --> 00:51:32,717
<font color=#FF962D><b>It's all right, it's all right.</b></font>

807
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,550
<font color=#FF962D><b>I think we owe him that one, yeah?</b></font>

808
00:51:35,802 --> 00:51:38,182
<font color=#FF962D><b>You take off. Go on.</b></font>

809
00:51:38,972 --> 00:51:40,312
<font color=#FF962D><b>Off you go.</b></font>

810
00:51:51,318 --> 00:51:52,898
<font color=#FF962D><b>Quick question.</b></font>

811
00:51:55,197 --> 00:51:57,237
<font color=#FF962D><b>What's my name?</b></font>

812
00:52:02,996 --> 00:52:04,326
<font color=#FF962D><b>Didn't think so.</b></font>

813
00:52:06,208 --> 00:52:08,918
<font color=#FF962D><b>Sorry, Francis. My lips are sealed.</b></font>

814
00:54:05,368 --> 00:54:06,828
<font color=#FF962D><b>You don't want to kill me.</b></font>

815
00:54:06,870 --> 00:54:09,120
<font color=#FF962D><b>I'm the only one
who can fix your ugly mug.</b></font>

816
00:55:05,846 --> 00:55:07,426
<font color=#FF962D><b>What's my name?</b></font>

817
00:55:13,603 --> 00:55:14,773
<font color=#FF962D><b>Wade.</b></font>

818
00:55:30,603 --> 00:56:04,773
<i><font color="#3cff00">P</font><font color="#4aff00">r</font><font color="#58ff00">e</font><font color="#66ff00">s</font><font color="#74ff00"></font><font color="#82ff00">e</font><font color="#91ff00">n</font><font color="#9fff00">t</font><font color="#adff00">e</font><font color="#bbff00">d  </font><font color="#c9ff00"> </font><font color="#d7ff00">B</font><font color="#e5ff00">y. </font><font color="#d7ff00">-=G.</font><font color="#c9ff00">R</font><font color="#bbff00">a</font><font color="#adff00">M.</font><font color="#9fff00">W</font><font color="#90ff00"> </font><font color="#82ff00">a</font><font color="#74ff00">r</font><font color="#66ff00"> </font><font color="#58ff00">an</font><font color="#4aff00">g</font><font color="#3cff00">aL=-</font></i>

819
00:56:22,130 --> 00:56:25,170
<font color=#FF962D><b>I didn't just get the cure to el cáncer...</b></font>

820
00:56:26,676 --> 00:56:29,346
<font color=#FF962D><b>I got the cure to el everything.</b></font>

821
00:56:33,016 --> 00:56:35,266
<font color=#FF962D><b>But there was only one thing...</b></font>

822
00:56:35,310 --> 00:56:36,940
<font color=#FF962D><b>that really mattered.</b></font>

823
00:57:06,383 --> 00:57:07,433
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Come on, let's go.</b></font>

824
00:57:12,764 --> 00:57:15,524
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Oh, that must hurt.</b></font>

825
00:57:16,518 --> 00:57:17,978
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Thank you so much.</b></font>

826
00:57:29,906 --> 00:57:32,156
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>God, he's so fucking gnarly.</b></font>

827
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:33,620
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Look at his face.</b></font>

828
00:57:33,660 --> 00:57:36,040
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Oh, my God. Poor guy.</b></font>

829
00:57:36,079 --> 00:57:37,209
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Honey, don't stare.</b></font>

830
00:57:37,247 --> 00:57:38,407
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Freak.</b></font>

831
00:57:58,768 --> 00:58:02,108
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>No way. I'm not making her life
as ugly as mine.</b></font>

832
00:58:02,397 --> 00:58:04,937
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Come on, Wade, it can't be that bad.</b></font>

833
00:58:04,983 --> 00:58:06,323
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Bullshit!</b></font>

834
00:58:06,359 --> 00:58:09,609
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I'm a monster inside and out.
I belong in a fucking circus.</b></font>

835
00:58:09,654 --> 00:58:12,204
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Wade, Vanessa loves you.
She doesn't care what you...</b></font>

836
00:58:13,992 --> 00:58:14,992
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Do you like what you see?</b></font>

837
00:58:15,202 --> 00:58:16,372
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>No.</b></font>

838
00:58:16,870 --> 00:58:20,830
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>You look like an avocado had sex
with an older, more disgusting avocado.</b></font>

839
00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:22,039
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Yeah.</b></font>

840
00:58:22,083 --> 00:58:24,173
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Not gently. Like it was hate-fucking.</b></font>

841
00:58:24,211 --> 00:58:26,131
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>There was something wrong
with the relationship...</b></font>

842
00:58:26,171 --> 00:58:29,801
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>and that was the only catharsis that
they could find without violence.</b></font>

843
00:58:29,841 --> 00:58:32,431
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>And the only guy
who can fix this fugly mug...</b></font>

844
00:58:32,469 --> 00:58:35,179
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>is the British shitstick
who ran the mutant factory.</b></font>

845
00:58:35,222 --> 00:58:37,142
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>And he's gone. Poof!</b></font>

846
00:58:37,182 --> 00:58:38,892
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Yeah, well you gotta do something
to remedy this...</b></font>

847
00:58:38,934 --> 00:58:41,984
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>because as of now,
you only have one course of action.</b></font>

848
00:58:42,020 --> 00:58:43,270
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Damn straight.</b></font>

849
00:58:43,313 --> 00:58:45,193
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>- Find Francis.
- Star in horror films.</b></font>

850
00:58:45,232 --> 00:58:46,192
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>What?</b></font>

851
00:58:46,233 --> 00:58:48,443
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Star in your own horror films.</b></font>

852
00:58:48,485 --> 00:58:52,325
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Because you look like Freddy Krueger
face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.</b></font>

853
00:58:53,156 --> 00:58:54,906
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Here's what I'm actually gonna do.</b></font>

854
00:58:54,950 --> 00:58:57,620
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I'm gonna work through his crew
until somebody gives up Francis...</b></font>

855
00:58:57,661 --> 00:59:00,041
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>force him to fix this,
then put a bullet in his skull...</b></font>

856
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,750
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>and fuck the brain hole.</b></font>

857
00:59:01,790 --> 00:59:04,920
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I don't wanna see that
or think of it again.</b></font>

858
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,170
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>But the douchebag does
think you're dead, right?</b></font>

859
00:59:07,212 --> 00:59:07,922
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Yeah.</b></font>

860
00:59:07,963 --> 00:59:09,843
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>That's good.
You should keep it that way.</b></font>

861
00:59:09,881 --> 00:59:11,551
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>What, like, wear a mask?</b></font>

862
00:59:11,591 --> 00:59:14,551
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Yes. A very thick mask.
All the time.</b></font>

863
00:59:15,303 --> 00:59:16,303
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I am sorry...</b></font>

864
00:59:16,346 --> 00:59:18,966
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>you are haunting.</b></font>

865
00:59:19,015 --> 00:59:20,925
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Your face is the stuff of nightmares.</b></font>

866
00:59:20,976 --> 00:59:22,346
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Like a testicle with teeth.</b></font>

867
00:59:22,394 --> 00:59:24,154
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>You will die alone.</b></font>

868
00:59:24,187 --> 00:59:25,807
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I mean, if you could die.</b></font>

869
00:59:26,439 --> 00:59:28,399
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Ideally, for others' sake.</b></font>

870
00:59:28,441 --> 00:59:29,691
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>That'll do.</b></font>

871
00:59:29,985 --> 00:59:31,785
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>All you need now is a suit
and a nickname...</b></font>

872
00:59:31,820 --> 00:59:33,700
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>like Wade the Wisecracker...</b></font>

873
00:59:34,114 --> 00:59:37,244
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>or Scaredevil, Mr. Neverdie.</b></font>

874
00:59:38,118 --> 00:59:39,118
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Shit.</b></font>

875
00:59:39,703 --> 00:59:40,793
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>What?</b></font>

876
00:59:41,621 --> 00:59:43,621
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I put all my money on you and now...</b></font>

877
00:59:43,665 --> 00:59:45,255
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I just realized I'm never gonna win the...</b></font>

878
00:59:45,292 --> 00:59:46,292
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Dead pool.</b></font>

879
00:59:50,172 --> 00:59:52,472
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Captain Deadpool.</b></font>

880
00:59:54,342 --> 00:59:55,472
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>No, just...</b></font>

881
00:59:55,510 --> 00:59:57,260
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>- Just Deadpool, yeah.
- Just Deadpool.</b></font>

882
00:59:57,304 --> 00:59:59,264
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>To you, Mr. Pool.</b></font>

883
00:59:59,556 --> 01:00:02,056
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Deadpool.
That sounds like a fucking franchise.</b></font>

884
01:00:16,656 --> 01:00:18,736
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>This shit's gonna have nuts in it.</b></font>

885
01:00:19,826 --> 01:00:20,826
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where's Francis?</b></font>

886
01:00:35,091 --> 01:00:36,761
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where's Francis?</b></font>

887
01:00:44,935 --> 01:00:46,855
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Seltzer water and lemon for blood.</b></font>

888
01:00:48,188 --> 01:00:51,108
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Or wear red. Dumbass.</b></font>

889
01:01:09,835 --> 01:01:11,295
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Don't make me ask twice.</b></font>

890
01:01:12,671 --> 01:01:14,051
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where...</b></font>

891
01:01:14,089 --> 01:01:16,219
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>is Francis?</b></font>

892
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:18,510
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>He made me ask twice.</b></font>

893
01:01:18,552 --> 01:01:20,552
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Is the mask muffling my voice?</b></font>

894
01:01:25,350 --> 01:01:26,810
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where's Francis?</b></font>

895
01:01:29,437 --> 01:01:31,267
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where the fuck is Francis?</b></font>

896
01:01:39,948 --> 01:01:43,328
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>You're about to be killed by a Zamboni.</b></font>

897
01:01:43,368 --> 01:01:44,578
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where's Francis?</b></font>

898
01:01:45,996 --> 01:01:47,116
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>No! Please!</b></font>

899
01:01:47,747 --> 01:01:51,207
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Oh, God! I'm so sorry!</b></font>

900
01:01:51,751 --> 01:01:54,381
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>You little spider monkey!</b></font>

901
01:01:57,465 --> 01:02:00,925
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where... is... Francis?</b></font>

902
01:02:02,095 --> 01:02:03,345
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>This is confusing.</b></font>

903
01:02:03,388 --> 01:02:06,348
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Is it sexist to hit you?
Is it more sexist to not hit you?</b></font>

904
01:02:06,391 --> 01:02:08,691
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I mean, the line gets real... blurry.</b></font>

905
01:02:09,060 --> 01:02:10,980
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>WHERE IS FRANCIS?</b></font>

906
01:02:12,564 --> 01:02:15,824
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Tell me where your fucking boss is
or you're gonna die!</b></font>

907
01:02:16,443 --> 01:02:18,073
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>In five minutes!</b></font>

908
01:02:28,205 --> 01:02:29,965
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Don't hesitate to call me.</b></font>

909
01:02:45,597 --> 01:02:47,767
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Nice to see you, Jared.</b></font>

910
01:02:48,934 --> 01:02:50,394
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I'll take the footlong...</b></font>

911
01:02:50,894 --> 01:02:51,894
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>fully loaded.</b></font>

912
01:03:07,327 --> 01:03:08,947
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>41 confirmed kills.</b></font>

913
01:03:08,995 --> 01:03:11,405
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Now it's 89. About to be 90.</b></font>

914
01:03:12,165 --> 01:03:13,455
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Mr. Wilson?</b></font>

915
01:03:15,252 --> 01:03:17,422
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>You're looking very alive.</b></font>

916
01:03:18,255 --> 01:03:19,305
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Only on the outside.</b></font>

917
01:03:19,965 --> 01:03:22,885
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>- This is not going to end well for me, is it?
- This is not gonna end well for you, no.</b></font>

918
01:03:22,926 --> 01:03:24,086
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Where's your boss?</b></font>

919
01:03:24,135 --> 01:03:25,755
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>I can tell you exactly...</b></font>

920
01:03:27,472 --> 01:03:29,352
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Oh, you'll tell me, but first...</b></font>

921
01:03:29,933 --> 01:03:32,233
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>You might wanna look away for this.</b></font>

922
01:03:32,269 --> 01:03:33,549
<font color=#FF3C9D><b>Now this little piggy went to...</b></font>

923
01:03:35,647 --> 01:03:37,937
<font color=#80FF80><b>Thank you, Agent Smith.</b></font>

924
01:03:41,528 --> 01:03:42,528
<font color=#80FF80><b>Taxi!</b></font>

925
01:03:44,030 --> 01:03:46,280
<font color=#80FF80><b>Hop in! Great day for a ride.</b></font>

926
01:03:48,285 --> 01:03:49,725
<font color=#80FF80><b>And we all know how this turned out.</b></font>

927
01:03:52,622 --> 01:03:54,832
<font color=#80FF80><b>Whoops! You weren't meant to see that.</b></font>

928
01:04:02,799 --> 01:04:04,629
<font color=#80FF80><b>There. All caught up.</b></font>

929
01:04:12,559 --> 01:04:14,479
<font color=#80FF80><b>We're here.</b></font>

930
01:04:15,395 --> 01:04:18,475
<font color=#80FF80><b>Sorry about bleeding in all your garbage.</b></font>

931
01:04:24,738 --> 01:04:26,818
<font color=#80FF80><b>Seltzer water and lemon for blood.</b></font>

932
01:04:28,992 --> 01:04:31,542
<font color=#80FF80><b>Some kinds of anger can't be managed...</b></font>

933
01:04:31,578 --> 01:04:36,668
<font color=#80FF80><b>like the kind where your year-long plan ends
with the wrong guy getting dismembered!</b></font>

934
01:04:37,334 --> 01:04:41,844
<font color=#80FF80><b>That said, when it comes time to licking
wounds, there's no place like home.</b></font>

935
01:04:42,672 --> 01:04:46,932
<font color=#80FF80><b>And I share that home with someone you've met,
the old blind lady from the laundromat, Al.</b></font>

936
01:04:47,344 --> 01:04:48,894
<font color=#80FF80><b>God, I miss cocaine.</b></font>

937
01:04:49,513 --> 01:04:50,513
<font color=#80FF80><b>Her.</b></font>

938
01:04:51,348 --> 01:04:53,928
<font color=#80FF80><b>Fourth-wall break
inside a fourth-wall break.</b></font>

939
01:04:54,184 --> 01:04:56,734
<font color=#80FF80><b>That's like 16 walls.</b></font>

940
01:04:57,270 --> 01:05:02,690
<font color=#80FF80><b>She's like Robin to my Batman,
except she's old, and black, and blind.</b></font>

941
01:05:02,734 --> 01:05:04,404
<font color=#80FF80><b>And I think she's in love with me.</b></font>

942
01:05:04,861 --> 01:05:08,241
<font color=#80FF80><b>Wait, pretty sure Robin loves Batman, too.</b></font>

943
01:05:18,250 --> 01:05:19,250
<font color=#80FF80><b>Al?</b></font>

944
01:05:21,670 --> 01:05:22,920
<font color=#80FF80><b>Morning, sleepyhead.</b></font>

945
01:05:24,548 --> 01:05:26,718
<font color=#80FF80><b>It smells like old lady pants in here.</b></font>

946
01:05:26,758 --> 01:05:28,718
<font color=#80FF80><b>Yes, I'm old. I wear pants.</b></font>

947
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:30,350
<font color=#80FF80><b>But you're no lady.</b></font>

948
01:05:31,513 --> 01:05:33,183
<font color=#80FF80><b>So comfy.</b></font>

949
01:05:33,932 --> 01:05:36,982
<font color=#80FF80><b>Upside of being blind:
I've never seen you in Crocs.</b></font>

950
01:05:37,018 --> 01:05:38,518
<font color=#80FF80><b>You mean my big,
rubber masturbating shoes?</b></font>

951
01:05:38,562 --> 01:05:39,562
<font color=#80FF80><b>Yes, I know.</b></font>

952
01:05:40,063 --> 01:05:42,733
<font color=#80FF80><b>Downside of being blind...</b></font>

953
01:05:42,774 --> 01:05:44,944
<font color=#80FF80><b>I hear everything in this duplex.</b></font>

954
01:05:47,279 --> 01:05:48,529
<font color=#80FF80><b>Sit on a stick.</b></font>

955
01:05:48,572 --> 01:05:49,572
<font color=#80FF80><b>Bactin?</b></font>

956
01:05:49,614 --> 01:05:53,704
<font color=#80FF80><b>Yeah. Bactin should do it.</b></font>

957
01:05:54,911 --> 01:05:58,751
<font color=#80FF80><b>How's that Kullen coming along?
IKEA doesn't assemble itself, you know.</b></font>

958
01:05:58,790 --> 01:06:01,750
<font color=#80FF80><b>You're telling me.
I don't mind the Kullen.</b></font>

959
01:06:01,793 --> 01:06:03,673
<font color=#80FF80><b>It's an improvement on the Hurdal.</b></font>

960
01:06:04,337 --> 01:06:06,957
<font color=#80FF80><b>Please. Anything's an improvement
over the Hurdal.</b></font>

961
01:06:07,007 --> 01:06:10,507
<font color=#80FF80><b>I'd have taken an Hemnes
or a Trysil over the Hurdal.</b></font>

962
01:06:11,636 --> 01:06:13,926
<font color=#80FF80><b>No, I didn't get excited
till I saw the Kullen.</b></font>

963
01:06:14,264 --> 01:06:15,144
<font color=#80FF80><b>Screw, please.</b></font>

964
01:06:15,182 --> 01:06:16,562
<font color=#80FF80><b>Here? Now? Just kidding.</b></font>

965
01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:17,810
<font color=#80FF80><b>I know it's been decades.</b></font>

966
01:06:17,851 --> 01:06:18,981
<font color=#80FF80><b>You'd be surprised.</b></font>

967
01:06:19,686 --> 01:06:20,766
<font color=#80FF80><b>Pretty grossed out.</b></font>

968
01:06:22,772 --> 01:06:25,192
<font color=#80FF80><b>Ta... Da.</b></font>

969
01:06:30,989 --> 01:06:34,119
<font color=#80FF80><b>I wish I never heard of Craigslist.</b></font>

970
01:06:34,534 --> 01:06:37,164
<font color=#80FF80><b>And I quote, "Looking for roommate,
blind to life's imperfections.</b></font>

971
01:06:37,204 --> 01:06:38,334
<font color=#80FF80><b>"Must be good with hands."</b></font>

972
01:06:38,371 --> 01:06:40,621
<font color=#80FF80><b>Or would you rather
I build the IKEA, and you pay rent?</b></font>

973
01:06:40,665 --> 01:06:42,535
<font color=#80FF80><b>Why such a douche this morning?</b></font>

974
01:06:43,293 --> 01:06:44,423
<font color=#80FF80><b>Let's recap.</b></font>

975
01:06:44,461 --> 01:06:46,801
<font color=#80FF80><b>The cock thistle that turned
me into this freak...</b></font>

976
01:06:46,838 --> 01:06:48,458
<font color=#80FF80><b>slipped through my arms today...</b></font>

977
01:06:50,133 --> 01:06:51,343
<font color=#80FF80><b>Arm.</b></font>

978
01:06:51,801 --> 01:06:54,931
<font color=#80FF80><b>Catching him was my only chance to be
hot again, get my super sexy ex back...</b></font>

979
01:06:54,971 --> 01:06:57,271
<font color=#80FF80><b>and prevent this shit
from happening to someone else.</b></font>

980
01:06:57,307 --> 01:07:01,057
<font color=#80FF80><b>So, yeah, today was about as much fun
as a sandpaper dildo.</b></font>

981
01:07:02,979 --> 01:07:04,519
<font color=#80FF80><b>#driveby.</b></font>

982
01:07:21,998 --> 01:07:23,998
<font color=#80FF80><b>Found out who our friend
in the red suit is.</b></font>

983
01:07:26,336 --> 01:07:28,206
<font color=#80FF80><b>Fucking Wade Wilson.</b></font>

984
01:07:29,172 --> 01:07:31,512
<font color=#80FF80><b>Suppose I'd wear a mask, too
if I had a face like that.</b></font>

985
01:07:32,175 --> 01:07:33,715
<font color=#80FF80><b>I only wish I healed the same.</b></font>

986
01:07:37,681 --> 01:07:40,481
<font color=#80FF80><b>Still, we'll put him out of our misery.</b></font>

987
01:07:40,517 --> 01:07:41,767
<font color=#80FF80><b>On our terms.</b></font>

988
01:07:42,185 --> 01:07:43,935
<font color=#80FF80><b>Right. And when he heals?</b></font>

989
01:07:44,938 --> 01:07:46,058
<font color=#80FF80><b>He can't.</b></font>

990
01:07:46,106 --> 01:07:48,686
<font color=#80FF80><b>Not if there's nothing
left of him to heal.</b></font>

991
01:07:48,733 --> 01:07:52,703
<font color=#80FF80><b>You know, it's funny.
I almost miss the fucker.</b></font>

992
01:07:54,114 --> 01:07:55,534
<font color=#80FF80><b>I like a challenge.</b></font>

993
01:07:56,867 --> 01:07:59,037
<font color=#80FF80><b>But he's bad for business.</b></font>

994
01:07:59,077 --> 01:08:00,787
<font color=#80FF80><b>Now let's go find him.</b></font>

995
01:08:05,250 --> 01:08:06,670
<font color=#80FF80><b>Tylenol PM?</b></font>

996
01:08:06,710 --> 01:08:09,210
<font color=#80FF80><b>You can stick that
where you stuck the Bactin.</b></font>

997
01:08:09,629 --> 01:08:12,049
<font color=#80FF80><b>I raided my stash
of wisdom tooth Percocet...</b></font>

998
01:08:12,090 --> 01:08:16,050
<font color=#80FF80><b>and I am orbiting
fucking Saturn right now.</b></font>

999
01:08:18,889 --> 01:08:20,969
<font color=#80FF80><b>But I appreciate the gesture.</b></font>

1000
01:08:21,892 --> 01:08:26,352
<font color=#80FF80><b>Am I crazy,
or is your hand really small?</b></font>

1001
01:08:26,396 --> 01:08:28,146
<font color=#80FF80><b>About the size of a KFC spork.</b></font>

1002
01:08:30,317 --> 01:08:32,527
<font color=#80FF80><b>I get why you're so pissy...</b></font>

1003
01:08:32,569 --> 01:08:35,569
<font color=#80FF80><b>but your mood's never gonna brighten
till you find this woman...</b></font>

1004
01:08:35,614 --> 01:08:37,034
<font color=#80FF80><b>and tell her how you feel.</b></font>

1005
01:08:37,073 --> 01:08:40,453
<font color=#80FF80><b>What do I keep telling you, Mrs. Magoo?
She wouldn't have me.</b></font>

1006
01:08:40,493 --> 01:08:42,203
<font color=#80FF80><b>If you could see me, you'd understand.</b></font>

1007
01:08:42,245 --> 01:08:43,365
<font color=#80FF80><b>Looks aren't everything.</b></font>

1008
01:08:43,413 --> 01:08:44,543
<font color=#80FF80><b>Looks are everything.</b></font>

1009
01:08:44,581 --> 01:08:46,711
<font color=#80FF80><b>You ever heard David Beckham speak?</b></font>

1010
01:08:46,750 --> 01:08:48,750
<font color=#80FF80><b>It's like he mouth-sexed
a can of helium.</b></font>

1011
01:08:49,169 --> 01:08:52,419
<font color=#80FF80><b>Think Ryan Reynolds got this far
on his superior acting method?</b></font>

1012
01:08:52,464 --> 01:08:53,884
<font color=#80FF80><b>Love is blind, Wade.</b></font>

1013
01:08:53,924 --> 01:08:54,924
<font color=#80FF80><b>No.</b></font>

1014
01:08:55,926 --> 01:08:57,176
<font color=#80FF80><b>You're blind.</b></font>

1015
01:08:57,844 --> 01:09:00,764
<font color=#80FF80><b>So, you're just gonna
lie there and whimper?</b></font>

1016
01:09:00,805 --> 01:09:02,885
<font color=#80FF80><b>No, I'm gonna wait till this arm
plows through puberty...</b></font>

1017
01:09:02,933 --> 01:09:05,413
<font color=#80FF80><b>and then I'm gonna come up
with a whole new Christmas Day plan.</b></font>

1018
01:09:05,852 --> 01:09:08,522
<font color=#80FF80><b>In the meantime,
you might wanna leave the room.</b></font>

1019
01:09:09,189 --> 01:09:11,609
<font color=#80FF80><b>I bet it feels huge in this hand.</b></font>

1020
01:09:12,943 --> 01:09:15,653
<font color=#80FF80><b>Go, go, go.</b></font>

1021
01:09:16,196 --> 01:09:19,156
<font color=#80FF80><b>So, the doctor says, "The bad news is
you don't have that long to live."</b></font>

1022
01:09:19,199 --> 01:09:20,779
<font color=#80FF80><b>So, the patient says,
"How long do I have?"</b></font>

1023
01:09:20,825 --> 01:09:22,735
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>The doctor says, "Five."</b></font>

1024
01:09:22,786 --> 01:09:24,406
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>The guy says, "Five what?"</b></font>

1025
01:09:24,454 --> 01:09:28,334
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>The doctor says,
"Four, three, two..."</b></font>

1026
01:09:35,507 --> 01:09:37,047
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Can I help you ladies?</b></font>

1027
01:09:39,636 --> 01:09:40,796
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I do hope so.</b></font>

1028
01:09:45,016 --> 01:09:49,146
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I heard you might be able to point me
in the direction of a friend of mine.</b></font>

1029
01:09:49,688 --> 01:09:50,688
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Name of Wade Wilson.</b></font>

1030
01:09:52,232 --> 01:09:53,362
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Sorry.</b></font>

1031
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:54,980
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I don't know the name.</b></font>

1032
01:10:02,325 --> 01:10:04,655
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Hey, you're not supposed to be
behind the bar.</b></font>

1033
01:10:08,373 --> 01:10:10,293
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I've seen this girl.</b></font>

1034
01:10:10,333 --> 01:10:12,843
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>This must be Vanessa.
I've heard so much about you.</b></font>

1035
01:10:17,591 --> 01:10:19,341
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Sweetheart, you might wanna look around.</b></font>

1036
01:10:19,926 --> 01:10:22,506
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>This isn't really the place
to do something like that.</b></font>

1037
01:10:23,930 --> 01:10:25,680
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Easy, Angel.</b></font>

1038
01:10:25,724 --> 01:10:27,104
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Put the little man down.</b></font>

1039
01:10:28,685 --> 01:10:30,435
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>We have everything we need now.</b></font>

1040
01:10:30,854 --> 01:10:31,904
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You sure?</b></font>

1041
01:10:32,606 --> 01:10:35,686
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You don't want any clothes
that are not monochromatic?</b></font>

1042
01:10:35,734 --> 01:10:38,404
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Have fun at your midnight
showing of Blade II.</b></font>

1043
01:10:42,073 --> 01:10:43,783
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Thanks for having my back, guys.</b></font>

1044
01:10:48,788 --> 01:10:53,078
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Wade, we have a fucking problem.
And by "we," I mean "you."</b></font>

1045
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:55,630
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I can't believe I'm doing this.</b></font>

1046
01:10:56,129 --> 01:10:59,009
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Is there a word for half afraid,
half angry?</b></font>

1047
01:10:59,049 --> 01:11:01,179
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Yeah, "afrangry," I guess.</b></font>

1048
01:11:01,218 --> 01:11:03,018
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Have you decided what
you're gonna say to her?</b></font>

1049
01:11:03,053 --> 01:11:04,053
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Fuck me!</b></font>

1050
01:11:04,387 --> 01:11:06,307
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Maybe not start with that.</b></font>

1051
01:11:12,229 --> 01:11:15,519
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Hey, coming onto our stage right now...</b></font>

1052
01:11:15,565 --> 01:11:17,725
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>give it up for Chastity!</b></font>

1053
01:11:21,571 --> 01:11:23,911
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Or as I like to call her, Irony.</b></font>

1054
01:11:23,949 --> 01:11:26,079
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Better find her fast before numbnuts does.</b></font>

1055
01:11:26,117 --> 01:11:27,617
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>How do you know she's in here?</b></font>

1056
01:11:27,661 --> 01:11:30,791
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Because I'm constantly stalking that fox.</b></font>

1057
01:11:55,772 --> 01:11:59,282
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Every time I see her,
it's like the first time...</b></font>

1058
01:12:00,110 --> 01:12:02,280
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Especially from this angle.</b></font>

1059
01:12:25,802 --> 01:12:29,812
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You can't buy love,
but you can rent it for three minutes.</b></font>

1060
01:12:32,851 --> 01:12:35,521
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You weak motherfucker!</b></font>

1061
01:12:36,313 --> 01:12:37,313
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Come on!</b></font>

1062
01:12:38,523 --> 01:12:41,823
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Come on, get it together.
This isn't about me, this is about Vanessa.</b></font>

1063
01:12:45,989 --> 01:12:47,319
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Here we go.</b></font>

1064
01:12:49,910 --> 01:12:51,490
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Maximum effort.</b></font>

1065
01:12:55,040 --> 01:12:56,170
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Vanessa.</b></font>

1066
01:12:58,668 --> 01:13:02,838
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Someone out back asking for you.
Something about an old boyfriend.</b></font>

1067
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:31,280
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I knew it was you.</b></font>

1068
01:13:33,119 --> 01:13:35,039
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>The weird, curvy edges.</b></font>

1069
01:13:36,623 --> 01:13:38,463
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Like a jigsaw puzzle.</b></font>

1070
01:13:48,552 --> 01:13:50,392
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You have Wade Wilson to thank for this.</b></font>

1071
01:13:59,396 --> 01:14:00,936
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Hey. Hey! Where'd she go?</b></font>

1072
01:14:01,898 --> 01:14:04,438
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I saw her head to the back.
Go get her, tiger.</b></font>

1073
01:14:32,470 --> 01:14:34,220
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Motherfucker!</b></font>

1074
01:14:34,264 --> 01:14:36,604
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- Wait, wait. Let's... Just...
- Cock juggling...</b></font>

1075
01:14:36,641 --> 01:14:38,561
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- We can talk about what we're gonna...
- Jiminy! Fuck face!</b></font>

1076
01:14:38,602 --> 01:14:39,892
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Okay, or you can hit that.</b></font>

1077
01:14:39,936 --> 01:14:41,766
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Fuck! Fuck!</b></font>

1078
01:14:41,813 --> 01:14:44,483
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- No, no. All right. Hey!
- Fuck! Fuck!</b></font>

1079
01:14:44,941 --> 01:14:45,981
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- Fuck!
- Hey.</b></font>

1080
01:14:47,027 --> 01:14:49,107
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Relax. Relax. Okay.</b></font>

1081
01:14:49,154 --> 01:14:50,494
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Okay. I think that's a good start.</b></font>

1082
01:14:50,530 --> 01:14:52,620
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I'm gonna rip his motherfucking...</b></font>

1083
01:14:52,657 --> 01:14:53,657
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Wait.</b></font>

1084
01:14:53,700 --> 01:14:55,200
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- Find it! Find it.
- What?</b></font>

1085
01:14:55,243 --> 01:14:56,843
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- I'm gonna get angry.
- Okay. All right.</b></font>

1086
01:14:57,078 --> 01:14:58,868
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>All right. Okay. All right.</b></font>

1087
01:14:58,914 --> 01:15:00,254
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Here. This is Vanessa.</b></font>

1088
01:15:00,290 --> 01:15:02,330
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- What?
- No, wait. It's Francis.</b></font>

1089
01:15:02,375 --> 01:15:03,995
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>He wants you to come to him.</b></font>

1090
01:15:04,294 --> 01:15:06,464
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>- What is that?
- That's the shit emoji.</b></font>

1091
01:15:06,838 --> 01:15:08,968
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You know, it's the turd
with the smiling face and the eyes?</b></font>

1092
01:15:09,007 --> 01:15:11,337
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I thought it was chocolate yogurt
for so long.</b></font>

1093
01:15:12,052 --> 01:15:13,262
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I need guns.</b></font>

1094
01:15:13,303 --> 01:15:14,473
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Okay, which ones?</b></font>

1095
01:15:14,513 --> 01:15:15,643
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I need all the guns!</b></font>

1096
01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:16,890
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>All right. Okay.</b></font>

1097
01:15:37,577 --> 01:15:39,037
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>That's about 3,000 rounds.</b></font>

1098
01:15:39,996 --> 01:15:42,036
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>We all know what I can do with 12.</b></font>

1099
01:15:42,457 --> 01:15:44,667
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Hey, hey, careful with that, Ronnie Milsap!</b></font>

1100
01:15:44,709 --> 01:15:45,789
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>We're downrange.</b></font>

1101
01:15:47,254 --> 01:15:50,804
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I was gonna spend the night assembling the Börje,
but this is holding my interest.</b></font>

1102
01:15:51,967 --> 01:15:54,797
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I told you, we're going with the Urvaj,
not the Börje.</b></font>

1103
01:15:54,845 --> 01:15:56,855
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Get it through your head
or get out of fuck town.</b></font>

1104
01:15:56,888 --> 01:15:59,678
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Shit. That's all the pieces in the house.</b></font>

1105
01:15:59,724 --> 01:16:01,484
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Nah. Come on. Let's go.
Cough it up.</b></font>

1106
01:16:01,852 --> 01:16:03,352
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Up, up, up.</b></font>

1107
01:16:04,771 --> 01:16:05,901
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Down, down, down.</b></font>

1108
01:16:05,939 --> 01:16:06,939
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Fuck you.</b></font>

1109
01:16:08,775 --> 01:16:11,485
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>.45 cal. I like it.</b></font>

1110
01:16:13,655 --> 01:16:14,915
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Wade...</b></font>

1111
01:16:16,116 --> 01:16:18,826
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I'd go with you, but I don't want to.</b></font>

1112
01:16:23,373 --> 01:16:24,543
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Listen, Al...</b></font>

1113
01:16:25,625 --> 01:16:30,795
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>if I never see you again, I want you
to know that I love you very much.</b></font>

1114
01:16:31,715 --> 01:16:36,845
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>And also, there's about 116 kilos of cocaine
buried somewhere in the apartment...</b></font>

1115
01:16:36,887 --> 01:16:39,677
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>right next to the cure for blindness.
Good luck.</b></font>

1116
01:16:45,187 --> 01:16:46,477
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You wanna get fucked up?</b></font>

1117
01:16:56,573 --> 01:16:58,073
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Put her down over here.</b></font>

1118
01:17:08,293 --> 01:17:09,503
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Go on then.</b></font>

1119
01:17:11,922 --> 01:17:14,512
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Thanks, dickless. And I mean you.</b></font>

1120
01:17:14,966 --> 01:17:18,296
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Wow. You're a talker too. You and Wade.</b></font>

1121
01:17:18,345 --> 01:17:21,605
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I've been trying to tell you assholes,
you've got the wrong girl.</b></font>

1122
01:17:21,640 --> 01:17:23,180
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>My old boyfriend, he's dead.</b></font>

1123
01:17:23,225 --> 01:17:26,895
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>See, I thought that too.
But he keeps on coming back.</b></font>

1124
01:17:26,937 --> 01:17:28,267
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Like a cockroach...</b></font>

1125
01:17:28,313 --> 01:17:29,613
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>but uglier.</b></font>

1126
01:17:30,649 --> 01:17:34,109
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Now, I may not feel, but he does.</b></font>

1127
01:17:35,195 --> 01:17:37,235
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Let's see how he fights
with your head on the block.</b></font>

1128
01:17:45,997 --> 01:17:47,497
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Ripley, from Alien 3!</b></font>

1129
01:17:48,124 --> 01:17:49,964
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Fuck, you're old.</b></font>

1130
01:17:51,628 --> 01:17:54,088
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Fake laugh. Hiding real pain.</b></font>

1131
01:17:54,130 --> 01:17:55,510
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Go get Silver Balls.</b></font>

1132
01:17:55,549 --> 01:17:57,799
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You guys going for a bite?
Early bird special?</b></font>

1133
01:17:57,843 --> 01:18:00,683
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Like there's something wrong with
eating before sundown or saving money.</b></font>

1134
01:18:00,804 --> 01:18:04,144
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>No, you know that bad guy
that you let go?</b></font>

1135
01:18:04,724 --> 01:18:06,644
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>He's got my girl.</b></font>

1136
01:18:06,685 --> 01:18:08,065
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>You're gonna help me get her back.</b></font>

1137
01:18:08,478 --> 01:18:10,308
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Wade? Is that you?</b></font>

1138
01:18:10,355 --> 01:18:14,775
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Yeah, it's me, Deadpool,
and I got an offer that you can't refuse.</b></font>

1139
01:18:17,487 --> 01:18:18,647
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I'm gonna wait out here, okay?</b></font>

1140
01:18:18,697 --> 01:18:20,777
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>It's a big house.
It's funny that I only ever see two of you.</b></font>

1141
01:18:20,824 --> 01:18:24,124
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>It's almost like the studio
couldn't afford another X-Man.</b></font>

1142
01:18:27,664 --> 01:18:29,124
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>And that is why, in my opinion...</b></font>

1143
01:18:29,165 --> 01:18:32,375
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>the movie Cocoon
is pure pornography.</b></font>

1144
01:18:32,878 --> 01:18:34,668
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Who brought this twinkly man?</b></font>

1145
01:18:34,713 --> 01:18:36,803
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Twinkly, but deadly.</b></font>

1146
01:18:36,840 --> 01:18:40,890
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>My chrome-penised friend back there
has agreed to do me this solid.</b></font>

1147
01:18:41,469 --> 01:18:45,469
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>In exchange, I said that I would
consider joining his boy band.</b></font>

1148
01:18:45,515 --> 01:18:46,805
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>It's not boy band.</b></font>

1149
01:18:46,850 --> 01:18:47,890
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>Sure it's not.</b></font>

1150
01:18:49,227 --> 01:18:50,897
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>So, any luck winning Gita back?</b></font>

1151
01:18:51,688 --> 01:18:54,148
<font color=#B7E8FF><b>I tried to hold on tight, Mr. Pool...</b></font>

1152
01:18:54,191 --> 01:18:57,821
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>but Bandhu is more craftier
and handsomer than me.</b></font>

1153
01:18:58,486 --> 01:19:00,196
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Well, I think you're pretty darn cute.</b></font>

1154
01:19:06,077 --> 01:19:07,077
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Dopinder?</b></font>

1155
01:19:09,039 --> 01:19:10,039
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>What was that?</b></font>

1156
01:19:12,083 --> 01:19:17,713
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>That was Bandhu in the trunk.</b></font>

1157
01:19:18,381 --> 01:19:19,671
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Ban who?</b></font>

1158
01:19:19,716 --> 01:19:22,506
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>My romantic rival Bandhu.
He's tied up in the trunk.</b></font>

1159
01:19:22,552 --> 01:19:24,222
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I'm doing as you said, DP.</b></font>

1160
01:19:24,262 --> 01:19:28,062
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I plan to gut him like a tandoori fish,
then dump his carcass on Gita's doorstep.</b></font>

1161
01:19:29,392 --> 01:19:31,062
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I did not tell him to do that.</b></font>

1162
01:19:31,102 --> 01:19:33,812
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Absolutely not.
It got lost in translation.</b></font>

1163
01:19:33,855 --> 01:19:37,065
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Dopinder, this is no way
to win Gita's heart back!</b></font>

1164
01:19:37,108 --> 01:19:38,228
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I'm so proud of you.</b></font>

1165
01:19:38,276 --> 01:19:40,566
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Drop Bandhu off, safe and gentle-like.</b></font>

1166
01:19:40,612 --> 01:19:41,532
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Kill him.</b></font>

1167
01:19:41,571 --> 01:19:43,701
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>And then, win Gita back...</b></font>

1168
01:19:43,740 --> 01:19:46,530
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>the old fashioned way:
with your boyish charm.</b></font>

1169
01:19:46,576 --> 01:19:47,906
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Kidnap her.</b></font>

1170
01:19:49,454 --> 01:19:50,624
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>He's super dead.</b></font>

1171
01:19:56,086 --> 01:19:57,706
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I presume a crisp high five?</b></font>

1172
01:19:57,754 --> 01:19:59,094
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>For you? 10.</b></font>

1173
01:20:00,590 --> 01:20:03,380
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Okay, guys, let's get out there
and make a difference.</b></font>

1174
01:20:03,426 --> 01:20:05,296
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>You know what to do.</b></font>

1175
01:20:06,263 --> 01:20:08,893
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Knock 'em dead, Pool Boy!</b></font>

1176
01:20:10,100 --> 01:20:12,100
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas.</b></font>

1177
01:20:13,603 --> 01:20:15,233
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Not often a dude ruins your face...</b></font>

1178
01:20:15,272 --> 01:20:18,232
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>skull-stomps your sanity,
grabs your future baby mama...</b></font>

1179
01:20:18,275 --> 01:20:22,455
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>and personally sees to four
of your five shittiest moments.</b></font>

1180
01:20:22,487 --> 01:20:26,657
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Let's just say, it's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas.</b></font>

1181
01:20:39,629 --> 01:20:40,959
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Hey.</b></font>

1182
01:20:41,006 --> 01:20:42,296
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Where's your duffle bag?</b></font>

1183
01:21:01,151 --> 01:21:02,571
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Bandhu?</b></font>

1184
01:21:04,112 --> 01:21:06,242
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Leave a message and have a happy day.</b></font>

1185
01:21:06,281 --> 01:21:07,621
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>God damn it!</b></font>

1186
01:21:07,657 --> 01:21:09,367
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I'm gonna do this the old fashioned way...</b></font>

1187
01:21:09,409 --> 01:21:12,829
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>with two swords and maximum effort.</b></font>

1188
01:21:13,830 --> 01:21:14,830
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Cue the music.</b></font>

1189
01:21:31,014 --> 01:21:33,474
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Wade Wilson!</b></font>

1190
01:21:34,017 --> 01:21:35,637
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>What's my name?</b></font>

1191
01:21:36,269 --> 01:21:37,849
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I'mma fuckin' spell it out for ya.</b></font>

1192
01:21:40,190 --> 01:21:41,270
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Go get some.</b></font>

1193
01:21:41,316 --> 01:21:42,476
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Superhero landing.</b></font>

1194
01:21:42,526 --> 01:21:44,526
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>She's gonna do a superhero landing.
Wait for it.</b></font>

1195
01:21:49,157 --> 01:21:50,317
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Superhero landing!</b></font>

1196
01:21:50,867 --> 01:21:51,947
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>You know, that's really hard
on your knees.</b></font>

1197
01:21:52,285 --> 01:21:53,725
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Totally impractical. They all do it.</b></font>

1198
01:21:54,204 --> 01:21:57,504
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>You're a lovely lady,
but I'm saving myself for Francis.</b></font>

1199
01:21:57,541 --> 01:21:58,751
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>That's why I brought him.</b></font>

1200
01:21:58,792 --> 01:22:02,002
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I prefer not to hit a woman,
so please...</b></font>

1201
01:22:09,219 --> 01:22:12,309
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I mean, that's why I brought her?</b></font>

1202
01:22:13,849 --> 01:22:16,019
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Oh, no, finish your tweet.
It's not... That's...</b></font>

1203
01:22:16,059 --> 01:22:17,639
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Just give us a second. Yeah.</b></font>

1204
01:22:17,686 --> 01:22:19,016
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>There you go. Hashtag it.</b></font>

1205
01:22:20,397 --> 01:22:22,227
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Go get her, tiger.</b></font>

1206
01:22:28,905 --> 01:22:32,655
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I so pity the dude who pressures
her into prom sex.</b></font>

1207
01:22:33,368 --> 01:22:34,908
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>All right, then. Fire!</b></font>

1208
01:22:46,673 --> 01:22:48,303
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Finish fucking her the fuck up!</b></font>

1209
01:22:48,341 --> 01:22:49,381
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Language, please.</b></font>

1210
01:22:49,426 --> 01:22:50,586
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Suck a cock.</b></font>

1211
01:23:16,620 --> 01:23:18,290
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Look away, child.</b></font>

1212
01:23:19,039 --> 01:23:20,369
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Look away!</b></font>

1213
01:23:27,714 --> 01:23:29,054
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Wait!</b></font>

1214
01:23:29,090 --> 01:23:30,260
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Wait!</b></font>

1215
01:23:30,300 --> 01:23:31,300
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Cease fire!</b></font>

1216
01:23:31,343 --> 01:23:32,683
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Cease fire!</b></font>

1217
01:23:32,719 --> 01:23:34,179
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Fellas! Hey! Hey!</b></font>

1218
01:23:35,555 --> 01:23:39,265
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>You only work
for that shit-spackled muppet fart.</b></font>

1219
01:23:39,309 --> 01:23:43,349
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>So, I'mma give you a chance
for y'all to lay down your firearms...</b></font>

1220
01:23:43,396 --> 01:23:46,396
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>in exchange for preferential,
bordering on gentle...</b></font>

1221
01:23:46,441 --> 01:23:49,901
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>possibly even lover-like treatment.</b></font>

1222
01:23:51,947 --> 01:23:53,237
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Fine.</b></font>

1223
01:23:53,281 --> 01:23:54,281
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Commando!</b></font>

1224
01:25:06,396 --> 01:25:07,396
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Teabag!</b></font>

1225
01:25:11,902 --> 01:25:12,902
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Bob?</b></font>

1226
01:25:13,945 --> 01:25:14,895
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Wade?</b></font>

1227
01:25:14,946 --> 01:25:16,236
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Oh, my God, I haven't seen you since...</b></font>

1228
01:25:16,281 --> 01:25:18,571
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>- Jacksonville. Fridays.
- Since TGI Fridays.</b></font>

1229
01:25:19,367 --> 01:25:21,077
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Well, what the hell!</b></font>

1230
01:25:21,661 --> 01:25:23,161
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>God, come here, you.</b></font>

1231
01:25:25,332 --> 01:25:27,292
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>How are the kids? Good?</b></font>

1232
01:25:27,834 --> 01:25:29,754
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>And Gail?
She's still fixing that tuna casserole?</b></font>

1233
01:25:29,794 --> 01:25:32,594
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>So good! But bad for the waistline,
if you know what I'm talking about.</b></font>

1234
01:25:39,304 --> 01:25:42,644
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Your... On the left.
You are beautiful woman.</b></font>

1235
01:25:42,682 --> 01:25:43,732
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>That is so sweet.</b></font>

1236
01:25:45,185 --> 01:25:46,185
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Thanks.</b></font>

1237
01:25:58,365 --> 01:26:01,955
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Does he write you notes too?
He's such a romantic.</b></font>

1238
01:26:02,327 --> 01:26:03,697
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Don't worry, baby. I'm comin'.</b></font>

1239
01:26:05,330 --> 01:26:06,330
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Fire!</b></font>

1240
01:26:13,713 --> 01:26:15,173
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Hey!</b></font>

1241
01:26:15,507 --> 01:26:16,507
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Climb on!</b></font>

1242
01:26:53,503 --> 01:26:55,053
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Motherfucking...</b></font>

1243
01:27:06,433 --> 01:27:08,893
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Motherfucker should have worn
his brown pants.</b></font>

1244
01:27:11,688 --> 01:27:12,858
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>You were right, beautiful.</b></font>

1245
01:27:13,732 --> 01:27:15,442
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Red really is my color.</b></font>

1246
01:27:16,359 --> 01:27:17,319
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Wade?</b></font>

1247
01:27:17,360 --> 01:27:18,360
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Don't worry, baby...</b></font>

1248
01:27:18,695 --> 01:27:20,695
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I'mma get you out of that shit-box.</b></font>

1249
01:27:21,198 --> 01:27:23,408
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>What better way to crawl back inside
that head of yours?</b></font>

1250
01:27:23,450 --> 01:27:25,370
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Oh, you never left.</b></font>

1251
01:27:25,410 --> 01:27:27,540
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>But you did, asshole!</b></font>

1252
01:27:27,579 --> 01:27:29,039
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Deep breath, darling.</b></font>

1253
01:27:30,582 --> 01:27:31,712
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Oh, wait.</b></font>

1254
01:27:32,834 --> 01:27:34,384
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Wrong choice of words.</b></font>

1255
01:27:36,588 --> 01:27:39,468
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I hope they blocked pain
to your every last nerve.</b></font>

1256
01:27:39,508 --> 01:27:40,588
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>'Cause I'mma go lookin'!</b></font>

1257
01:27:42,010 --> 01:27:44,050
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>I hear you grow back body parts now,
Wade.</b></font>

1258
01:27:44,554 --> 01:27:45,554
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>When I'm finished...</b></font>

1259
01:27:45,680 --> 01:27:47,520
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>parts will have to grow back you.</b></font>

1260
01:27:47,557 --> 01:27:48,677
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Good one.</b></font>

1261
01:27:49,601 --> 01:27:51,521
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Yep, that was a good one.</b></font>

1262
01:27:51,561 --> 01:27:52,561
<font color=#BBBBFF><b>Let's dance.</b></font>

1263
01:27:53,897 --> 01:27:55,147
<font color=#BC79FF><b>And by dance, I mean...</b></font>

1264
01:27:55,190 --> 01:27:56,350
<font color=#BC79FF><b>let's try to kill each other.</b></font>

1265
01:28:50,954 --> 01:28:53,164
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Fine. Fists.</b></font>

1266
01:28:53,456 --> 01:28:55,286
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Sounds like your last Saturday night.</b></font>

1267
01:30:17,207 --> 01:30:19,287
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Asshole!</b></font>

1268
01:31:15,640 --> 01:31:16,640
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Hang in there, baby!</b></font>

1269
01:31:17,142 --> 01:31:19,102
<font color=#BC79FF><b>- Wade!
- I gotcha!</b></font>

1270
01:31:22,522 --> 01:31:24,482
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I got a plan. You're not gonna like it.</b></font>

1271
01:31:35,118 --> 01:31:36,238
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Shit! Shit! Shit!</b></font>

1272
01:31:42,209 --> 01:31:44,709
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Don't worry. I'm totally on top of this.</b></font>

1273
01:32:00,727 --> 01:32:01,807
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Damn it!</b></font>

1274
01:32:02,729 --> 01:32:05,609
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Maximum effort!</b></font>

1275
01:32:47,941 --> 01:32:48,941
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Thanks.</b></font>

1276
01:32:53,864 --> 01:32:55,534
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Just take it slow.</b></font>

1277
01:33:05,959 --> 01:33:08,589
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Oh, my God! That was so...</b></font>

1278
01:33:39,618 --> 01:33:41,198
<font color=#BC79FF><b>There are no words!</b></font>

1279
01:33:42,245 --> 01:33:45,865
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Me and you are headed
to fix this butterface.</b></font>

1280
01:33:46,625 --> 01:33:47,635
<font color=#BC79FF><b>What?</b></font>

1281
01:33:50,170 --> 01:33:52,880
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You stupid fucking idiot.</b></font>

1282
01:33:53,423 --> 01:33:57,973
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Did you really think
there was a cure... for that?</b></font>

1283
01:33:59,888 --> 01:34:00,888
<font color=#BC79FF><b>What?</b></font>

1284
01:34:01,264 --> 01:34:02,354
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You heard me.</b></font>

1285
01:34:04,142 --> 01:34:05,312
<font color=#BC79FF><b>No.</b></font>

1286
01:34:05,352 --> 01:34:06,602
<font color=#BC79FF><b>No!</b></font>

1287
01:34:13,777 --> 01:34:16,777
<font color=#BC79FF><b>So, you mean to say...</b></font>

1288
01:34:17,572 --> 01:34:21,832
<font color=#BC79FF><b>after all this, you can't fix me?</b></font>

1289
01:34:22,410 --> 01:34:24,540
<font color=#BC79FF><b>It sounds even stupider when you say it.</b></font>

1290
01:34:24,579 --> 01:34:29,669
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Like the kind of stupid who admits he can't
do the one thing I'm keeping him alive for?</b></font>

1291
01:34:33,505 --> 01:34:35,345
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Any last words?</b></font>

1292
01:34:37,217 --> 01:34:38,297
<font color=#BC79FF><b>What's my name?</b></font>

1293
01:34:39,427 --> 01:34:40,717
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Who fucking cares?</b></font>

1294
01:34:40,762 --> 01:34:41,762
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Wade!</b></font>

1295
01:34:43,181 --> 01:34:45,561
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Four or five moments.</b></font>

1296
01:34:46,142 --> 01:34:47,142
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I'm sorry?</b></font>

1297
01:34:47,185 --> 01:34:49,555
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Four or five moments,
that's all it takes.</b></font>

1298
01:34:50,272 --> 01:34:51,272
<font color=#BC79FF><b>To?</b></font>

1299
01:34:52,315 --> 01:34:53,645
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Be a hero.</b></font>

1300
01:34:55,652 --> 01:34:58,402
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Everyone thinks it's a full-time job.</b></font>

1301
01:34:58,446 --> 01:35:02,026
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Wake up a hero, brush your teeth a hero,
go to work a hero.</b></font>

1302
01:35:02,826 --> 01:35:04,616
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Not true.</b></font>

1303
01:35:04,661 --> 01:35:09,831
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Over a lifetime, there are only four
or five moments that really matter.</b></font>

1304
01:35:10,208 --> 01:35:12,708
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Moments when you're offered a choice.</b></font>

1305
01:35:12,752 --> 01:35:16,922
<font color=#BC79FF><b>To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw,
save a friend...</b></font>

1306
01:35:17,716 --> 01:35:20,336
<font color=#BC79FF><b>spare an enemy.</b></font>

1307
01:35:20,760 --> 01:35:22,140
<font color=#BC79FF><b>In these moments...</b></font>

1308
01:35:22,929 --> 01:35:25,809
<font color=#BC79FF><b>everything else falls away.</b></font>

1309
01:35:26,516 --> 01:35:29,056
<font color=#BC79FF><b>The way the world sees us.</b></font>

1310
01:35:29,436 --> 01:35:30,436
<font color=#BC79FF><b>The way we...</b></font>

1311
01:35:34,691 --> 01:35:35,691
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Why?</b></font>

1312
01:35:36,943 --> 01:35:38,993
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You were droning on.</b></font>

1313
01:35:39,029 --> 01:35:42,069
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Sure, I may be stuck
looking like pepperoni flatbread...</b></font>

1314
01:35:42,115 --> 01:35:44,905
<font color=#BC79FF><b>but at least fuckface won't heal from that.</b></font>

1315
01:35:45,160 --> 01:35:47,790
<font color=#BC79FF><b>If wearing superhero tights...</b></font>

1316
01:35:48,246 --> 01:35:49,706
<font color=#BC79FF><b>means sparing psychopaths...</b></font>

1317
01:35:49,748 --> 01:35:51,918
<font color=#BC79FF><b>then maybe I wasn't meant to wear 'em.</b></font>

1318
01:35:51,958 --> 01:35:54,418
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Not everyone monitors a hall like you.</b></font>

1319
01:35:54,461 --> 01:35:55,631
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Just promise...</b></font>

1320
01:35:55,670 --> 01:35:59,420
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Yeah, yeah, I'll be on the lookout
for the next four moments.</b></font>

1321
01:35:59,466 --> 01:36:01,086
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Oh, shit.</b></font>

1322
01:36:01,134 --> 01:36:07,104
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just a boy,
about to stand in front of a girl...</b></font>

1323
01:36:07,140 --> 01:36:08,470
<font color=#BC79FF><b>and tell her...</b></font>

1324
01:36:08,517 --> 01:36:10,597
<font color=#BC79FF><b>What the fuck am I gonna tell her?</b></font>

1325
01:36:10,644 --> 01:36:13,904
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Well, you better figure it out.</b></font>

1326
01:36:15,357 --> 01:36:16,647
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I can't even tell you...</b></font>

1327
01:36:16,691 --> 01:36:17,781
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I deserved that. That, too.</b></font>

1328
01:36:18,527 --> 01:36:20,277
<font color=#BC79FF><b>No, no, no, maybe not the nethers.</b></font>

1329
01:36:20,320 --> 01:36:22,110
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Start talking!</b></font>

1330
01:36:24,157 --> 01:36:25,737
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I'm sorry.</b></font>

1331
01:36:25,992 --> 01:36:27,452
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I'm so sorry.</b></font>

1332
01:36:28,286 --> 01:36:30,826
<font color=#BC79FF><b>For everything,
I'm sorry for leaving...</b></font>

1333
01:36:32,332 --> 01:36:34,422
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I'm sorry for not cowboying up sooner.</b></font>

1334
01:36:34,459 --> 01:36:36,539
<font color=#BC79FF><b>It's been rough couple of years.</b></font>

1335
01:36:36,586 --> 01:36:37,586
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Rough?</b></font>

1336
01:36:45,053 --> 01:36:46,893
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I live in a crackhouse.</b></font>

1337
01:36:48,139 --> 01:36:49,469
<font color=#BC79FF><b>With a family of 12.</b></font>

1338
01:36:51,226 --> 01:36:52,766
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Every night we spoon for warmth.</b></font>

1339
01:36:52,811 --> 01:36:55,861
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Everybody fights for Noelle.
She's the fattest.</b></font>

1340
01:36:55,897 --> 01:37:01,737
<font color=#BC79FF><b>There's nothing that we don't share.
Floor space, dental floss, even condoms.</b></font>

1341
01:37:09,870 --> 01:37:12,040
<font color=#BC79FF><b>So, you live in a house.</b></font>

1342
01:37:20,881 --> 01:37:23,841
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I should have come and found you sooner.</b></font>

1343
01:37:25,302 --> 01:37:29,262
<font color=#BC79FF><b>But, baby, the guy under this mask,
he ain't the same one that you remember.</b></font>

1344
01:37:33,643 --> 01:37:34,853
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You mean this mask?</b></font>

1345
01:37:54,998 --> 01:37:56,578
<font color=#BC79FF><b>And this one.</b></font>

1346
01:37:58,043 --> 01:37:59,843
<font color=#BC79FF><b>In case the other fell off.</b></font>

1347
01:38:02,797 --> 01:38:05,087
<font color=#BC79FF><b>All right. Yeah, just...</b></font>

1348
01:38:05,133 --> 01:38:06,843
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Like a Band-Aid, just give it a...</b></font>

1349
01:38:06,885 --> 01:38:09,105
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Owdie 5,000.</b></font>

1350
01:38:09,137 --> 01:38:10,137
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Wait, wait, wait...</b></font>

1351
01:38:12,057 --> 01:38:13,307
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Are you sure?</b></font>

1352
01:38:15,185 --> 01:38:16,195
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I'm sure.</b></font>

1353
01:38:26,696 --> 01:38:27,696
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Wow.</b></font>

1354
01:38:28,949 --> 01:38:30,069
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Yeah.</b></font>

1355
01:38:36,998 --> 01:38:38,328
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Hey...</b></font>

1356
01:38:40,585 --> 01:38:42,335
<font color=#BC79FF><b>After a brief adjustment period...</b></font>

1357
01:38:42,879 --> 01:38:44,799
<font color=#BC79FF><b>and a bunch of drinks...</b></font>

1358
01:38:46,216 --> 01:38:48,176
<font color=#BC79FF><b>it's a face...</b></font>

1359
01:38:52,639 --> 01:38:54,269
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I'd be happy to sit on.</b></font>

1360
01:39:01,731 --> 01:39:05,441
<font color=#BC79FF><b>I'm not the same
underneath this suit, either.</b></font>

1361
01:39:05,485 --> 01:39:06,485
<font color=#BC79FF><b>No.</b></font>

1362
01:39:06,820 --> 01:39:08,780
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Super-penis.</b></font>

1363
01:39:08,822 --> 01:39:10,702
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Come on, Wade. Language.</b></font>

1364
01:39:10,949 --> 01:39:12,329
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Young one is present.</b></font>

1365
01:39:13,410 --> 01:39:15,290
<font color=#BC79FF><b>What are you still doing?</b></font>

1366
01:39:15,328 --> 01:39:18,038
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Get out of here.
Go make yourself useful!</b></font>

1367
01:39:18,081 --> 01:39:20,881
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You, go be a really big brother
to someone.</b></font>

1368
01:39:20,917 --> 01:39:22,667
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Tell Beast to stop shitting on my lawn.</b></font>

1369
01:39:22,711 --> 01:39:24,671
<font color=#BC79FF><b>And you, chicken noodle...</b></font>

1370
01:39:24,713 --> 01:39:26,513
<font color=#BC79FF><b>nothing compares to you.</b></font>

1371
01:39:26,548 --> 01:39:28,628
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Sinéad O'Connor, 1990. Sorry.</b></font>

1372
01:39:28,675 --> 01:39:31,385
<font color=#BC79FF><b>That's all right. You're cool.</b></font>

1373
01:39:33,305 --> 01:39:35,015
<font color=#BC79FF><b>What in the ass?</b></font>

1374
01:39:35,056 --> 01:39:38,096
<font color=#BC79FF><b>That was not mean!
I'm proud of you!</b></font>

1375
01:39:38,518 --> 01:39:41,688
<font color=#BC79FF><b>We will make an X-Man of you yet, Wade.</b></font>

1376
01:39:41,730 --> 01:39:44,860
<font color=#BC79FF><b>For a second there, it felt like
we were three mini-lion robots...</b></font>

1377
01:39:44,900 --> 01:39:47,110
<font color=#BC79FF><b>coming together to form one super robot.</b></font>

1378
01:39:47,986 --> 01:39:49,196
<font color=#BC79FF><b>There's a stupid.</b></font>

1379
01:39:49,237 --> 01:39:50,277
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Yeah.</b></font>

1380
01:39:53,742 --> 01:39:58,122
<font color=#BC79FF><b>And now, for the moment
I've all been waiting for.</b></font>

1381
01:40:01,875 --> 01:40:03,005
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Come here.</b></font>

1382
01:40:12,886 --> 01:40:15,846
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Wham! As promised.</b></font>

1383
01:40:28,902 --> 01:40:30,072
<font color=#BC79FF><b>See?</b></font>

1384
01:40:30,111 --> 01:40:33,701
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You don't need to be a superhero
to get the girl.</b></font>

1385
01:40:33,740 --> 01:40:36,620
<font color=#BC79FF><b>The right girl will bring
out the hero in you.</b></font>

1386
01:40:37,118 --> 01:40:40,618
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Now, let's finish this epic wide shot.
Pull out.</b></font>

1387
01:40:40,664 --> 01:40:42,254
<font color=#BC79FF><b>There we go, that looks nice.</b></font>

1388
01:40:42,290 --> 01:40:44,670
<font color=#BC79FF><b>That's gonna be about the only thing
that's pulling out tonight.</b></font>

1389
01:40:44,709 --> 01:40:48,089
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Who doesn't love a happy ending, huh?</b></font>

1390
01:40:48,129 --> 01:40:51,969
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Till next time, this is your friendly
neighborhood pool guy singing...</b></font>

1391
01:40:52,008 --> 01:41:17,888
<i><font color="#ff0000">T</font><font color="#ff2000">h</font><font color="#ff4000">i</font><font color="#ff5f00">s  </font><font color="#ff7f00"> </font><font color="#ff9f00">M</font><font color="#ffbf00">o</font><font color="#ffdf00">v</font><font color="#ffff00">i</font><font color="#bfff00">e  </font><font color="#80ff00"> </font><font color="#40ff00">E</font><font color="#00ff00">n</font><font color="#00ff40">c</font><font color="#00ff80">o</font><font color="#00ffbf">d</font><font color="#00ffff">e</font><font color="#00bfff">d  </font><font color="#0080ff"> </font><font color="#0040ff">B</font><font color="#0000ff">y  </font><font color="#2300ff"> </font><font color="#4600ff">-=G.</font><font color="#6800ff">RaM.</font><font color="#8b00ff">Warangal=-</font></i>

1392
01:47:07,843 --> 01:47:09,393
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You're still here?</b></font>

1393
01:47:12,013 --> 01:47:15,063
<font color=#BC79FF><b>It's over. Go home.</b></font>

1394
01:47:16,726 --> 01:47:21,056
<font color=#BC79FF><b>You're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2.
Well, we don't have that kind of money.</b></font>

1395
01:47:22,107 --> 01:47:25,147
<font color=#BC79FF><b>What are you expecting?
Sam Jackson to show up?</b></font>

1396
01:47:25,193 --> 01:47:27,863
<font color=#BC79FF><b>With an eye patch
and a saucy little leather number?</b></font>

1397
01:47:27,904 --> 01:47:29,534
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Go. Go.</b></font>

1398
01:47:35,787 --> 01:47:38,327
<font color=#BC79FF><b>But I can tell you one thing,
and it's a bit of a secret.</b></font>

1399
01:47:38,373 --> 01:47:41,583
<font color=#BC79FF><b>For the sequel, we're gonna have Cable.</b></font>

1400
01:47:41,626 --> 01:47:44,046
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Amazing character.
Bionic arm, time travel.</b></font>

1401
01:47:44,087 --> 01:47:46,377
<font color=#BC79FF><b>We have no idea who we're gonna
cast yet, but it could be anybody.</b></font>

1402
01:47:46,423 --> 01:47:49,723
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Just need a big guy with a flat top.
Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren...</b></font>

1403
01:47:49,759 --> 01:47:52,259
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Keira Knightley. She's got range.
Who knows.</b></font>

1404
01:47:52,304 --> 01:47:53,724
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Anyway, big secret.</b></font>

1405
01:47:53,763 --> 01:47:58,273
<font color=#BC79FF><b>And don't leave your garbage all lying around.
It's a total dick move.</b></font>

1406
01:47:59,227 --> 01:48:07,227
<font color=#BC79FF><b>Go.</b></font>