1
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,959
Now, what I'm gonna show you today -

2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,993
and It's not just me who says this -
ls the eighth wonder of the world.

3
00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:12,953
And for £11.50 each,
you can't say fairer than that, can you?

4
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,872
Passing now through
some Important landmarks In his life.

5
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,191
Mandarin Palace on your right,

6
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:24,199
Chinky restaurant where he was first
introduced to his favourite takeaway.

7
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:29,314
For the record, that was Shanghai
black bean chicken with eggy fried rice.

8
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,111
<i>(Jeremy Kyle talking on TV)</i>

9
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,036
(Both) You fat bastard!

10
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,397
Coming up on the left, Sinitta'Scissors.

11
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,273
The receptionist there
has six fingers on her hand.

12
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,313
What about that, Nana? We can
pop in there on the way back if you like.

13
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:14,996
(Japanese accent) Excuse me.
At the house, after song, we can touch?

14
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,555
Yes, it's all included. £11.50.

15
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,591
(Speak Japanese)

16
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,711
(Excited chatter)

17
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,359
It's only me, Georgie.

18
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,430
Excuse me, love.

19
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,917
Now, then, ladies and gentlemen,
international guests,

20
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,349
two nations, former enemies...

21
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,955
united today by one man.

22
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,197
Ladies and gentlemen,
on behalf of Valmo Productions

23
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:07,030
I present to you the fattest man in Britain...
Mr Georgie Godwin.

24
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,314
<i>(# Turning Japanese)</i>

25
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,555
- Hello.
- Hello.

26
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,510
<i>#</i> I've got your picture, I've got your picture

27
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,358
<i>#</i> I'd like a million of them all round my cell

28
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,312
<i>#</i> I want a doctor to take your picture

29
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,749
<i>#</i> So I can Look at you from inside as well

30
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,236
<i>#</i> You got me turning up and turning down
and turning in and turning round

31
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,350
<i>#</i> I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese

32
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,753
<i>#</i> I really think so

33
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,919
<i>#</i> I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese

34
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,997
<i>#</i> I really think so <i>#</i>

35
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,076
- (Music stops)
- Ha-ha-ha!

36
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,788
Bienvenue, willkommen, hola, shalom.

37
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,353
- Hello.
- Hello.

38
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,278
I'm Georgie Godwin, fattest man in Britain.

39
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,799
Guaranteed. And the only one that sings.

40
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,992
Now, I've spotted you're Japanese
so first things first.

41
00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,671
Arigato kotaimo.

42
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,517
Arigato.

43
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,959
Ask me anything you want. Anything.

44
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,557
(Speaks Japanese)

45
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:28,713
Er...she says...you're very big.

46
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,149
Oh, you won't get
bigger than Georgie, love.

47
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,556
And if anybody tells you that Tommy Stafford
from Burnley is bigger than him,

48
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,238
they're talking out their arsehole.

49
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,950
Erm...he says erm...can he touch now?

50
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,030
Yes. Yes, it's all included.

51
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:51,074
But I would ask you to respect
Georgie's private zones. Health and safety.

52
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,597
(Talking in Japanese)

53
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,031
(Camera shutter clicking)

54
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,433
Er...er...Morris. Morris.

55
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,118
Morris. M-Morris.

56
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,232
Whoa, Nana. Whoa, Nana. Come on.
We don't want to lose you, do we?

57
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,032
Gently, gently.

58
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,957
Come on, Tokyo Joe, don't milk it.

59
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:31,392
Now, you're probably wondering,
"Should I tip in dollars or pounds?"

60
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:35,228
Can I be cheeky, with the exchange rate
and everything, and say pounds?

61
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:39,512
(Distant) As a guide, 20.
That's the purple one, Nana.

62
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,478
(Morris) Now, do you want to go back
into town or to the hotel?

63
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,191
Thank you, Mr Georgie.

64
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,959
You sing beautiful.

65
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,240
(Chuckles) Oh.

66
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,955
- (TV) 1' <i>know,</i> 1' know,
- (Grunts)

67
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,913
She were only a Little Lass.

68
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,191
After the performance
she came up to me...

69
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,714
and touched me hand, just gentle,

70
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,558
and said, "Thank you, Georgie."

71
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:25,828
Oh...

72
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,348
It's moments like that, Janice,
that make me realise

73
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,356
why I'm in the entertainment industry.

74
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,313
They were gorgeous, them chops, Janice.
Thank you.

75
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:35,918
Good.

76
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,476
<i>I'm sorry, Love...</i>

77
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,511
but I'm afraid it's Viennetta again.

78
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,349
Oh, Look how white that sand is, Georgie.

79
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,595
I wonder how they get it so white.

80
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,154
- It's Mauritius.
- Have we been here before?

81
00:05:56,200 --> 00:06:00,239
Probably the last place in the Indian Ocean
we've not been to.

82
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,350
Shall I pop us on...to verify?

83
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,913
Oh, yes.

84
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,990
Madeira. Been there.

85
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,513
Madagascar. Been there.

86
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,073
Mauritius.

87
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,792
A thoroughly enjoyable visit.

88
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,274
There. Verified.

89
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,719
(Laughs)

90
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,111
'Ey, I got a Letter today
from social sen/ices.

91
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,232
You never went all the way
down the hallway?

92
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,716
Why didn't you wait for me? I'd have
picked it up for you, Georgie love.

93
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,194
No, no, no, I fancied a stroll.

94
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:40,070
Anyway, they're only sending me a problem
teenager to community-sen/ice my garden.

95
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:44,318
A problem teenager?
Does it say what the problem is?

96
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,670
Well, there's two shopping trolleys
out there. That'll be his first problem.

97
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,633
(Morris) # And it doesn't matter how I cry

98
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,912
<i>#</i> My tears of love are a waste of time

99
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:03,829
<i>#</i> If I turn away
Am I strong enough to see it through?

100
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,952
<i>#</i> Going crazy is what I will do

101
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,037
<i>#</i> If I can't have you
I don't want nobody, baby

102
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,719
<i>#</i> If I can't have you, ah-ah-ah <i>#</i>

103
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,069
All right, Nana? ls he in?

104
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,076
- All right, Mad Bob?
- All right, Morris?

105
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,429
When are you gonna visit Georgie?
He'd love to see you.

106
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,550
And remember, half price Sundays.

107
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,192
Fuck off, Morris.

108
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,159
- Hello, Mr Morris.
- Come on, hurry up, Raj.

109
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:34,033
Or I'll go to Tesco's, where you can
be sure of your sell-bys. Fill her up.

110
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,877
Now, then...

111
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,510
...our Georgie's took a sudden dislike
to Viennettas.

112
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,834
- Really?
- Nothing sinister.

113
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,395
He says it's a case of
familiarity breeding contempt.

114
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:49,150
Instead of Viennettas, he said
he'd like to tn; this...er, Aggen Dazzi.

115
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,799
- What's a tub of that?
- Er, £3.85.

116
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,597
Shove the Viennettas in.

117
00:07:56,640 --> 00:08:00,349
Ah. Quavers expired only three month.

118
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,516
Completely safe. Daughter tested.

119
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,796
- Bung 'em in.
- (Chuckles)

120
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,029
What's the Latest sales figures
on the T-shirts?

121
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,957
Nana... (Speaks Urdu)

122
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,553
<i>N“.</i>

123
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,193
You're not promoting 'em right.
You've gotta get 'em out there.

124
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,038
- They'll sell, as sure as I've hole in my...
- (Tannoy feedback)

125
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,878
<i>#</i> You spin me right round,
baby, right round

126
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,229
<i>- #</i> Like a record, baby, right...
- Hiya, Morris.

127
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,748
<i>#</i> Right round <i>#</i> They're here, cock.

128
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,392
You all right?

129
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:39,116
<i>#</i> You spin me right round,
baby, right round

130
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,674
<i>#</i> Like a record, baby,
right, right, right round

131
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,755
<i>#</i> You spin me right round,
baby, right round <i>#</i>

132
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,877
Now, then, cock...

133
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,994
- What do you think...

134
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,837
- of that?
- (Gasps)

135
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,916
I've had some printed up.
Flying off Raj's shelves like hotcakes.

136
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,509
<i>(TV) ..some stronger regulations
on seal-hunting...</i>

137
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,630
What's the face on for?

138
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,194
I don't like them touching. You know that.

139
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,708
'Ey, don't come
the temperamental diva wi' me.

140
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,194
I'll tell you what, Janice.
Two-Ton Tubby in Stafford

141
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,231
has let 'em touch him up
for six months now.

142
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,317
- Well, he would.
- We've got to compete, Georgie.

143
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,193
There's a lot more fat fuckers around now
than when you started off.

144
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,471
I don't Like me audience touching me,
that's aLL I'm saying.

145
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,476
Any road...I've got nowt down for you
tomorrow morning.

146
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:35,832
But I've got an 'eavy pencil on two Saudis...
at 3:30.

147
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,314
Then you've got somebody in at half five.

148
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,158
No, sorry, that's Valerie’s smear test.

149
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,589
Right...

150
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,588
I'll love you and leave you.

151
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,552
Me and Valerie are going over
to Ralph and Nikita's tonight.

152
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,912
- She's had underfloor heating installed.
- Ooh! Underfloor heating. (Laughs)

153
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,397
- Where's your Turk tonight?
- 'Ey, you've not heard the latest.

154
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:03,228
She only had to wax his back,
neck to crack, twenty past two in t'morning.

155
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,430
He's a lucky sod, that Turk.

156
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,358
My Valerie won't even pull me hairs
out of the plughole.

157
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,719
Don't forget, Janice.
Put that food in the freezer.

158
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,355
- Bye, Morris.
- I bet he never got me any Aggen Dazzi.

159
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,838
(Grunts)

160
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,075
Got me night-nights.

161
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,432
Oh...!

162
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,192
Oh...

163
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,832
Oh.

164
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,511
Ha-ha-ha!

165
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,632
(whirring)

166
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,432
(Grunts)

167
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,791
<i># Yes, I've seen a rainbow</i>

168
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,753
<i># And I've felt the rain</i>

169
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,196
<i># Woke up to a sunrise</i>

170
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,039
<i># And I've felt the pain</i>

171
00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:01,476
<i>- (Snoring)
- # I've seen it all somehow</i>

172
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:08,310
<i># Let's just look at us now #</i>

173
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,878
(Shorts)

174
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,958
<i>“we'll be asking,
"Is this the father of baby Daniel?"</i>

175
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,718
Not a chance.

176
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,673
<i>- ..Cousins. But this is not gonna happen.
- No, it's not. No.</i>

177
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,234
<i>(Woman) I want it all to stop,
all the texts and everything.</i>

178
00:12:55,280 --> 00:13:00,434
<i>(Woman 2) When you people argue,
you get us all involved.</i>

179
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,072
<i>(Arguing)</i>

180
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,713
<i>(Jeremy Kyle) Oi. Then we will work out</i>

181
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,910
<i>whether it is,
"You go that way, you go that way,"</i>

182
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,349
<i>or if there is any common ground
by which this child...</i>

183
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,198
<i>Frankly, this is the worst thing
about this story.</i>

184
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,435
<i>A two-year-old. I hope to God
she never sees this.</i>

185
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,471
<i>All of you - her family...</i>

186
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,751
Oh, for Christ's sake.
Do a DNA and Let's have done.

187
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,599
<i>Now, you say that...</i>

188
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,919
<i>Let's do those DNA results
cos that's what we came for.</i>

189
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,389
<i>Now, you say
that only when you split with him</i>

190
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,431
<i>did you have sex with three other men.</i>

191
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,471
<i>He is aware of that. You're cool with that?</i>

192
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,195
<i>You say you're 700% sure, you say you're
1,000% sure. How sure are you, Zena?</i>

193
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,630
<i>100%. Now, you, on the other hand,
said, "I'm only really 50..."</i>

194
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,678
<i>(Zena) ..said he is not the father
and then she said he is the father</i>

195
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,109
<i>so it's her own fault if people have doubts.</i>

196
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:15,314
<i>(Jeremy Kyle) A long, long relationship
with him, lasting 768 hours. She said...</i>

197
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,515
<i>She said that she's 100% sure that...</i>

198
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:56,914
I think there's a bit of Portuguese in her
or something, with all that black hair.

199
00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,396
She's a pretty Little thing. Dead cheerful.

200
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,556
Always gives me a smile when I walk past.

201
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:06,639
There's nothing of her. What d'you say?
Six and half? Seven?

202
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,990
- Seven stone three?
- I'd have said...seven four.

203
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,195
- No, go on, seven three.
- Seven three.

204
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:18,033
She's veny petique. Like a lickle bird.
But she's a grafter.

205
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,196
Just turn your face that way,
will you, for me?

206
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,550
Yesterday, she were on that mobile
for 18 minutes

207
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,592
but the whole time
her other Little hand was still weeding.

208
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,073
Oh, was she?

209
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,236
She's taken them shopping trolleys
to Somerfield.

210
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,633
No.

211
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,830
- (Laughs)
- Yeah.

212
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,553
Now...ten minutes.

213
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,556
And this time I'm going to use the timer.

214
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,037
Whoa! Don't waste it.

215
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,072
There's a couple of sausage rolls
over here, doing nothing.

216
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,751
- There you go.
- Right.

217
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,919
Now...you know what, Georgie?

218
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,191
People would never believe
just how much work goes into you.

219
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,878
Ha-ha!

220
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,111
There we are.

221
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,756
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh</i>

222
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:20,472
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh ooh</i>

223
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,798
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh</i>

224
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,638
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh</i>

225
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,636
<i># Ooh ooh ooh</i>

226
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,914
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh ooh</i>

227
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:43,073
<i># Ooh ooh ooh-ooh ooh</i>

228
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,836
Give it a rest, Georgie love.

229
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,235
She'll think you're a stalker.

230
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:56,829
D'you know, even] morning at 2O past 11
she sits on that rucksack

231
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,871
- and has a Snickers.
- Does she?

232
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,674
This week, Monday, 2O past 11,
a Snickers.

233
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:07,798
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
2O past 11, a Snicker.

234
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,397
Well, blow me, Janice,

235
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,510
- guess what she did this morning.
- I don't know.

236
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,757
2O past 11, she goes into that
Little rucksack and what did she pull out?

237
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,472
- Only a Crunchie.
- Does she?

238
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,592
So I'm sat here trying to puzzle it out.

239
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,679
Is there any significance in the Friday?
Religion or something like that.

240
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,711
Everything went from me mind.

241
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,753
Well, bugger me, five to four, what does
that Little minx bring out of that rucksack?

242
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,791
A Snickers.

243
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,671
Ha-ha-ha!

244
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:41,594
Honestly, even] day...a different story].

245
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,719
Bloody 'ell, Janice. Look how much
the Reilly’s' yucca plant's grown.

246
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,673
'Ey? It's like Hawaii over there. Ha-ha!

247
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,312
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh</i>

248
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,237
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh</i>

249
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,917
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh</i>

250
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,718
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh ooh</i>

251
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,192
<i># Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh</i>

252
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:26,113
<i># Ooh-ooh ooh ooh ooh</i>

253
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,479
<i># Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh</i>

254
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:37,273
<i># Ooh ooh-ooh ooh ooh ooh</i>

255
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,117
(Thunder)

256
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,353
<i>- (TV) You heard what he just said?
- Yeah, he was, like, having a laugh.</i>

257
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,951
(Faint music from headphones)

258
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,115
<i>- It is quite a big thing, isn't it?
- No.</i>

259
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,596
<i>- So why didn't you tell him?
- Because it's just, like, idle chit-chat.</i>

260
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,438
<i>#</i> You ain't so tough

261
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:19,354
<i>- That's not idle chit-chat!
- It is. Come on, babe.</i>

262
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,559
Agh!

263
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,068
Where did you fucking put that money?

264
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,839
What the fuck are you doing
when I need my money?

265
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:33,113
You got it out of the bedroom quick enough
so I couldn't see the fucker, didn't you?

266
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,151
- You think you're...
- I haven't got any!

267
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,997
(Yelling continues)

268
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,991
- You need...
- I don't...

269
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,516
<i>“television and then say...</i>

270
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,393
- (Girl shrieking)
- This is fucking...

271
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,873
Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!

272
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,959
- Fuck off, you...
- Get off her, you bloody bastard bully boy!

273
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,835
Fucking hell. What is that?

274
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,511
I'll deal with you later!

275
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,154
<i>What day was that? What day was that
you were in a fight? Was that...</i>

276
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,559
<i>...five million there.</i>

277
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,639
<i>Five million women? Extraordinary.
It wasn't a Thursday, was it?</i>

278
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,753
<i>It was at the karaoke, mate.
It was, like, you didn't actually...</i>

279
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,110
Hello, love. Amy, in't it?

280
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,230
I'm Georgie Godwin,
the fattest man in Britain.

281
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,794
<i>“The baby nine weeks ago, did you?</i>

282
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,636
Come and sit yourself down here now.
Come on.

283
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,638
<i>- He bought your baby a teddy bear.
- Yeah.</i>

284
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,989
<i>- Have you still got that teddy bear?
- No.</i>

285
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,235
<i>- Did you tell Shane?
- Whatever.</i>

286
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,111
Thank you.

287
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,917
Go on, love.

288
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:18,908
Oh.

289
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,351
There you go.

290
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,277
Can I get you anything?

291
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,911
Cheese and onion pasty?

292
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,429
- Sausage roll?
- No, thanks.

293
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,595
Jumbo.

294
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,471
<i>- What's he done to deserve this?
- Nothing.</i>

295
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,550
Let me tell you what's been going on.

296
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,955
You see Shane, with the teeth?

297
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,798
Well, he's brought up lickle Paris,
thinking he was the dad of it.

298
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,957
Any road, Shane's had to
go to Edgbaston for work,

299
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,116
a carpet-fitter by trade.

300
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,550
And see him there, him with
all the bling there, yeah? Jazzy D.

301
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,955
Well, he's saying
that lickle baby Paris is his.

302
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,991
Are you with me, Amy?

303
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:08,511
Well, when Shane was away, Jazzy D
has fornicated with Paris's mother, Chelsea.

304
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,596
And you know what put the lid on it
for me, Amy?

305
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,950
I bet they did it on one of Shane's
bloody carpets what he fitted himself.

306
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,514
That's a dirty trick, in't it, Amy, eh?

307
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,599
And Jeremy's right. Why should
I pay taxes, if I did pay taxes,

308
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,996
just for it all to go up in smoke
with Jazzy D? Ha-ha-ha!

309
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,031
<i>- I'm pregnant.
- Paris's father...</i>

310
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,355
- <i>That's...</i>
- <i>"is jazzy D.</i>

311
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,552
Oh, bugger me. It were Jazzy D's.
Poor lickle Paris.

312
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,273
<i>- You told me you pulled out!
- (Audience) 0h...'</i>

313
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,073
Well, congratulations.

314
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,918
- That's <i>smashing</i> news.
<i>- (Shouting continues)</i>

315
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,678
Yeah.

316
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,511
Well, I'll tell you this -

317
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,189
if you're as good at looking after a baby
as you are my garden, you're Laughing.

318
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,674
Hey! Ho-ho! Look at that, eh?

319
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,233
Here. Hey.

320
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,430
Kew Gardens! Ha-ha!

321
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,793
Now, then.

322
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,791
Lickle Pop Tart?

323
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:13,789
...In sure and certain hope of resurrection
to eternal life,

324
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,956
we commend to Almighty God...

325
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,400
our brother, Thomas Stafford...

326
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,439
also known as Two-Ton Tommy...

327
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:27,234
(Morris singing along to radio) <i>#</i> Don't you
wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

328
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,909
<i>#</i> Don't you wish
your girlfriend was a freak like me?

329
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,272
<i># Don't ya?</i>

330
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,118
<i># Don't ya?</i>

331
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:42,557
<i># Don '2' ya wish
your girlfriend was raw like... #</i>

332
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,431
(Music off)

333
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,471
(Priest continues)

334
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,156
“just taking a shot of the graveyard
and then er...

335
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,873
(Mobile rings)

336
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,115
Bloody hell, they're milking it, Valerie.

337
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,311
They've got television cameras here.
Big crowd of people.

338
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,589
All right, Mad Bob? What a circus, eh?

339
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,349
- Apparently, Stan Boardman's coming.
- (Priest) ..the Holy Spirit...

340
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,154
I'll tell you this, Valerie - with
all due respect, rest in peace and all that,

341
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,317
there's no way that fat dead fucker
is fatter than my Georgie.

342
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:24,037
Well, Burniey hasn't seen many send-offs
quite like this one. As you can see...

343
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,429
We commit his oversize body
to the ground,

344
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,233
earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

345
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,669
dust... (Coughs) ..to dust.

346
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,034
In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

347
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,279
(Creaking)

348
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:02,471
If I could be so bold, Joyce,
what in fact was his last meal?

349
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,034
Funny enough, he'd gone off his food
at the end.

350
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,914
The only thing he had that day were
a double rogan josh and a beef biryani.

351
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,430
Well, I bet right now
the blessed Saint Peter

352
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,630
is up there
defrosting a leg of lamb for him.

353
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,477
What a lovely thought, Father.

354
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,798
Well, Joyce, in my prayers this morning
I warned God to expect a big one.

355
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:24,310
Jesus Christ!
Here's the fat... Here he is now.

356
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,676
Here he is.

357
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,917
OK, OK. Easy, easy. To me. To me.

358
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,674
- Father!
- He doesn't want to go, Joyce, does he?

359
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,312
Bastard.

360
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,515
Here, RoLy-Polys, come on.
He's your brother. Put a bit of weight on this.

361
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,632
Come on. Off you go.
One, two, three, hup...

362
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,797
Hold hands, hold hands,
and get in the middle. One, two, three, hup!

363
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,791
(Morris) Sorry about your Loss, Morley.

364
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,990
He was your biggest earner,
Tommy, wasn't he?

365
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,191
Still, one door shuts, another one opens.

366
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,798
I'm fielding offers for my Georgie
left, right and centre.

367
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,035
Yeah, I heard about the T-shirt.

368
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,393
Richard.

369
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,396
Thanks, Richard.

370
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:17,470
Richard Barter. He's doing a bit of a special
on Tommy on the news tonight.

371
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,476
"Local Legend" sort of thing.

372
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,554
Thank you for even/thing
you've done for our Tommy, Morley.

373
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,239
- You couldn't have done more.
- You're welcome, Joyce.

374
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,076
Tommy was very close to my heart.

375
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:34,719
Thank you.

376
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,433
- Sorry about your Loss, Joyce.
- Ah, thanks, Love.

377
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,948
Are you still representing Georgie Godwin,
Morris?

378
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,479
Sole representation, yeah.

379
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,637
Only, we've got trunks
full of Tommy's clothes, haven't we?

380
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,798
And Vi said they won't fit anybody else.
I were gonna get a skip, weren't I?

381
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,195
Then I thought,
what about your Georgie having them?

382
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,231
Oh, that's a lovely offer, Joyce.

383
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,033
And I'd like to say a big thank you
on behalf of our Georgie.

384
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,674
But there's one reason
I can't accept those clothes.

385
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,552
They'd be too tight for him.

386
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,559
<i>Tears and sandwiches were in order today
at the Burnley funeral of Britain's...</i>

387
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,068
- (Janice) ls it on yet?
- Just started.

388
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:19,233
There she is, the Linda Lusardi
of Chapel Street. Ooh...

389
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,919
<i>- Richard Barter was there.
-</i> You've <i>not</i> missed <i>anything.</i>

390
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,916
You'll have one of these,
won't you, Georgie?

391
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,837
- No, not for me.
- Shut up, will you?

392
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,872
<i>Burnley hasn't seen many send-offs
quite Like this one.</i>

393
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,993
<i>As you can see, behind me
are hundreds of mourners,</i>

394
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:37,636
<i>all here to say goodbye to one of
the region's most colourful figures,</i>

395
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,875
<i>Tommy "Two Tons" Stafford.</i>

396
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,390
There I am. Look. That's me!
Yeah, look, you can see me Bluetooth.

397
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,034
- Get out the way!
- “a former <i>dinner</i> lady.

398
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,548
<i>And, adding a touch of celebrity
to the proceedings,</i>

399
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,672
<i>Amongst the condolence cards
was one believed to have been</i>

400
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,918
<i>- from comedian, Stan Boardman.
- Ooh, Stan Boardman.</i>

401
00:27:55,960 --> 00:28:00,715
<i>Tommy rose from obscurity
to eat his way into the record books</i>

402
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,433
<i>- as becoming Britain's? biggest.
-</i> That's <i>bollocks.</i>

403
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,869
<i>At his peak, he was believed
to have weighed</i>

404
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,151
<i>- in excess of 50 stones.
- Bollocks.</i>

405
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:13,113
<i>- Tommy was a giant of a man...
- Bollocks!</i>

406
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,072
<i>...who was also known
for having a giant heart</i>

407
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:19,999
<i>which, sadly, gave out last Tuesday.</i>

408
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:21,829
<i>Claire.</i>

409
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,871
When I were at GK Morley's
on Ashcroft Road

410
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,480
and they weighed me on the thing
what they weigh their vans on,

411
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,512
- I were 53 and a half stone.
- Yeah, but that was over 2O years ago.

412
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,790
And there were Cliffy Proudfoot there,
Shaky Dave,

413
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,674
and Eileen Hopkirk from the canteen,
with the raised shoe, and they'll verify that.

414
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,553
WeLL, with the exception of CLiFFy Proudfoot,
who's since expired.

415
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,876
- But there's nothing I can do about that.
- What are you getting worked up about?

416
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,992
Come on, Georgie.
You're number one now. No question.

417
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,508
I just don't like lies.

418
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:52,759
RIP and all that,
but it were all girth with Tommy.

419
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,791
With me, you get the density.

420
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,753
God rest his soul, but Tommy Stafford
was an out-and-out con artist.

421
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,438
That...should have been my funeral.

422
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,190
<i>(# Cracklin' Rosie)</i>

423
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,232
<i>#</i> Cracklin' Rose,
you're a store-bought woman

424
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,068
<i>#</i> You make me sing like a guitar humming

425
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:34,559
<i>#</i> Hang on to me, girl,
our song keeps running o-o-o-o-o-o-o-on

426
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,717
(Out of time) <i>#</i> Play it now, play it now

427
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,069
<i>- #</i> Play it now, my baby
- (Music off)

428
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,237
Stop, stop, stop, stop. Play it when? Now.

429
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,397
Neil's not saying, "Play it tomorrow,"
or "a week on Wednesday".

430
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,715
He's saying, "Play it..." When?

431
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,910
- Now.
- Right now, Georgie.

432
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:54,396
That's got to be the attitude, cock.
Otherwise it's all meaningless.

433
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,749
<i>#</i> Play it now, my baby

434
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:57,789
Ohh.

435
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,079
Ohh.

436
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,873
So, what's with the Neil Diamond, then?

437
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,559
We're in the big-time, Janice.
We've got to go classic.

438
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:06,749
Oh, Georgie...

439
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,951
With Tommy out of the way,
there's going to be advertising, sponsorship...

440
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,958
- (Knock on door)
- Who's that, Georgie?

441
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,514
Hey, maybe It's already started.

442
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,711
Maybe it's Hagen Dazzi come round
with an offer. What about that?

443
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,309
"Georgie Godwin,
the face of Hagen Dazzi."

444
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,318
- (Janice) What's happened, love?
- (Sobbing)

445
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,351
Bloody hell.

446
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,199
Am'!-

447
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,350
Look at your lickle face.

448
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,757
I'm so sorry.
I <i>just...</i> I had nowhere else to go.

449
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,791
Was it that fella I saw you with?

450
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:49,749
He... He's been on smack all day and
I could tell by his eyes when he come in.

451
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,519
He wanted more money
and I never had any

452
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,269
and he said he was gonna
kick that baby out of me.

453
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,629
Then he star-ted kicking me
and punching me

454
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,592
and wouldn't stop.
I had to get away from him.

455
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,076
- (Bangs on door) Amy!
- That's him.

456
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,554
- (Muffled) I know you're in there!
- Right...

457
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,192
- (Banging)
- Amy!

458
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,390
Janice. Janice love!

459
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,000
Janice, step back. Leave this with me.

460
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:19,192
- You can get out here, you slag! Now!
- Yeah, I think it's him.

461
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,435
I know you're fucking in there!

462
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,835
- She's not here.
- You can fucking get out here!

463
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,235
- Fucking get out here!
- (Banging)

464
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,909
Now then, cock, best thing you can do,
with all due respect, is fuck off.

465
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,396
What are you gonna do about it,
you fucking dwarf?

466
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:34,873
- Fuck off!
- You prick!

467
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,151
There's a 50-stone man in here who would
like nothing better than to sit on you.

468
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,476
Amy! You can fucking get out here,
you slag!

469
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:42,794
There you go.

470
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,515
She doesn't...want to see you!

471
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,199
Amy, I've sorted it. He'll not be back now.

472
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:55,555
(Screams)

473
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,117
I'm...I'm so sorry.

474
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,675
- You got nothing to be sorry For.
- Amy. Amy.

475
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,349
You are not...going back there tonight.

476
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,792
You don't understand. I've...I've got...

477
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,910
I've not got...nowhere else to go.

478
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:25,239
As Jeremy Kyle says, Amy, you shouldn't
stay in an abusive relationship.

479
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,556
I'll tell you what.
My Valerie has driven me ragged,

480
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,636
but never once have I hit her.

481
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,830
Fair enough, the odd V-sign
behind her back

482
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,917
and once, under duress,
I used her flannel on me arse.

483
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:42,955
That's better, Amy. What about
your mum and dad? Can't you go to them?

484
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,154
No.

485
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,112
Well, haven't you got any friends
that you can stay with?

486
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,270
Not really. They're...they're all his friends.

487
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,437
WeLL, you got Friends here.
You're stopping wi' me tonight.

488
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,748
I mean it. You're to stop here,

489
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,189
away from that bully-boy hoodie!

490
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,311
Right. That's settled, then. I'd best be off.

491
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,749
Right, Amy, I don't want any arguing.

492
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,839
I want you to take this...
and I want to hear no more about it.

493
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,270
Normally, they're ten quid.
But under the circumstances,

494
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,710
- you give me eight whenever you can.
- She's not paying nothing.

495
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,397
We'll sort something out.
I'll see you all tomorrow.

496
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,556
Amy, you're safe now.

497
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,635
You couldn't have a bigger bodyguard,
could you?

498
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,076
- Bye, Morris.
- Bye.

499
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,069
- I'll show you where you're sleeping.
- No, no, Georgie love. I'll show her.

500
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:41,477
- I'm fine. I can manage.
- No, let me show her. It's too much.

501
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,988
You get home.
Go on. She'll be all right with me.

502
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,838
- Well, what about the window?
- Oh, we'll sort that in the morning.

503
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,348
No problem. Don't worn].
Come on, get home.

504
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,678
Oh, Amy love, I would stay,
only I've got the Turk coming round.

505
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,075
Go on, she'll be fine with me.
I'll Look after her.

506
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,758
All right?

507
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,791
- Night-night, love.
- Night-night, love. Thank you.

508
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,318
Come on. Ha-ha! Follow me.

509
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:10,918
(Wheezes)

510
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,951
Follow me, darling.

511
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:47,357
There you go.
This is a very special room, Amy.

512
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,551
This was me mam's room.

513
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,591
(Breathes heavily)

514
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,150
She only took up half that bed.

515
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,310
She could have had a cot, to be honest.

516
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,588
She were like a lickle Russian doll.

517
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,870
You know, the smallest one in the middle.

518
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,519
Aye.

519
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,316
I don't come in here much.

520
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,114
When I do, it's like she's still here.

521
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:35,273
It's like I can still see her.
I can still hear her.

522
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,877
Still smell her.

523
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,835
There, you get some sleep now.

524
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,189
Look after that baby, eh?

525
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:49,231
(Strains)

526
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,636
No, it's all right. No, I can manage.
I've got it.

527
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,238
Night, Georgie. And thank you.

528
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,992
Night, love.

529
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,349
Me mam will be looking down
on you tonight.

530
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,040
That were the bed she died in.

531
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,877
Night-night.

532
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,117
<i># Rushing round in circles</i>

533
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,470
<i># To brighten all the corners</i>

534
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:41,435
<i># Busy making friends with all your enemies</i>

535
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,516
<i># You finger through your Bible</i>

536
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,198
<i># While looking through your window</i>

537
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:55,068
<i># The look you gave,
it raised a thousand memories</i>

538
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,392
<i># Ooh, I'm sorry</i>

539
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,512
<i># Ooh, I am sorry</i>

540
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,870
<i>- # This page in your story
- (Knock on door)</i>

541
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,195
- Room service.
- Come in.

542
00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:13,632
<i># Who am I to ask you why</i>

543
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,717
<i>- # You feel the way you do
- There you go.</i>

544
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:21,356
<i>- # If you feel the way you do
- A cup of tea for you.</i>

545
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,437
<i>- Thanks.
- # Is there nothing we can do?</i>

546
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,029
Who's that film star
you've got on your shirt there, Amy?

547
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,513
Ha-ha-ha!

548
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:33,799
Oh...

549
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,472
Ha-ha-ha!

550
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,035
I'm so sorry about Last night.

551
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,511
Done and dusted, love.

552
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,313
- I was looking at your photos.
- Oh.

553
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:54,434
- Is that your mum?
- Aye. That's me tickle mam.

554
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,791
She was tiny, wasn't she?

555
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,031
Size two feet, Amy.

556
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,038
She used to make these huge big meals.

557
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,230
She'd have none for herself.
It were all for me.

558
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:12,397
I'd eat it for her
and she'd give me this lovely big smile.

559
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,919
So is that how you got to be...biggish?

560
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:21,192
Oh, no, no, no. In them days
I could still tie me own Shoelaces.

561
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,429
It were after Mam died it started.

562
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,754
I came home that night from the funeral.

563
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,474
It wasn't till I ate even/thing in that fridge
that I could stop crying.

564
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,311
It was like I was eating for her.

565
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,796
It was as if there was an angel...
on me fork.

566
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:47,359
Thanks for putting me up.
I'd...better be going now, Georgie.

567
00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:52,517
Where to?

568
00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:00,869
I thought so. Right, you are stopping here
until you get yourself sorted.

569
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:03,995
L...l can help out.

570
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,793
I can cut hair. I used to do everybody's
at the foster home.

571
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:11,470
I could...do some decorating for you,
if you like. I'm good at decorating.

572
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,988
Hmm. Can you cook?

573
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:20,440
WeLL, then. Get in that kitchen and start
decorating a Frying pan with a bit of bacon.

574
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,472
Four eggs, sausages, tomatoes,

575
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,798
beans, chips, mushrooms,
hash browns and all the trimmings.

576
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,672
'Ey, there's no rush.

577
00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:34,870
Take me a while to get back to me chair.

578
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,478
Ha-ha-ha!

579
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,875
<i>(Jeremy Kyle) It's not for anybody
on this show to influence anybody.</i>

580
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,070
<i>We put the facts,
we try and help resolve conflict.</i>

581
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:48,515
<i>You say if Dan, back here today
for a third time, has cheated...</i>

582
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,239
(Chuckles)

583
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:13,033
Oh, 180!

584
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,959
- Heh-heh-hey!
- Cheating.

585
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,955
(Laughs)

586
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,399
(Laughs)

587
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,596
That's right.

588
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,358
(Laughter)

589
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:40,276
(Slurps) Mm

590
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:41,719
(Horn sounds)

591
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:46,231
(Morris) Now, what I'm gonna show you today,
and it's not just me who says this,

592
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,998
is the eighth wonder of the world.

593
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:50,915
<i>#</i> Her name is Rio

594
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:55,431
<i>#</i> And she dances on the sand

595
00:40:55,480 --> 00:41:01,919
<i>#</i> Just like that river
twists across a dusty [and

596
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:06,875
<i>#</i> And when she shines
she really shows you all you can

597
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:13,789
<i>#</i> Oh, Rio, Rio, dance across the Rio Grande <i>#</i>

598
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,948
- (Music off)
- Bienvenue, wilkommen, hola, shalom.

599
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,274
- Hallo!
- Hallo!

600
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,312
I am Georgie Godwin,
the fattest man in Britain.

601
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,511
- Guaranteed.
- Now, then. Brazil.

602
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,597
Population, 186 million.

603
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,916
That's including you five. Ha-ha-ha!

604
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:39,830
Brazil is primarily known for coffee, nuts,
and harbouring great train robbers.

605
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,952
But fair do's, you have won
the World Cup five times.

606
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,719
So it's not all bad, is it? Ha-ha!

607
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,716
George. Oh.

608
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:53,231
(Speaks Portuguese)

609
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,912
- (Speaks Portuguese)
- (Speaks Portuguese)

610
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,235
(Speaks Portuguese)

611
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:04,238
<i>#</i> La-La, la-la, la-la-la La-la!

612
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:08,150
<i>#</i> La-La, la-la, la-la-la La-la!

613
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,556
<i>#</i> La-La, la-la, la-la-la la-la

614
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,116
<i>#</i> La-La, la-la, La-La-la...

615
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,071
Come on now, just one Little go.

616
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,714
- Don't take the piss, love.
- Oh.

617
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,670
<i>(Man) The central part of the Sahara...</i>

618
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:29,554
That new conditioner's
really made a difference, Georgie.

619
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,955
Well, that'd be the jojoba.

620
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,436
<i>...And areas of sparse grassland
and desert shrub</i>

621
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,516
<i>with trees and taller shrubs and wadies...</i>

622
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,950
They disrespected you today.

623
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,514
- Who?
- Them Brazilians.

624
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,631
They all paid.

625
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:49,638
It was horrible.

626
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,035
Them all touching you like that.

627
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,356
WeLL, I'm providing a service, aren't I, Amy?

628
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,834
<i>...Used by nomads.</i>

629
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,677
<i>This is the death-stalker scorpion...</i>

630
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,871
Oh! Big lizard there, Amy.

631
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:09,278
There we go. Sahara Desert there, verified.

632
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:11,799
Do you know what, Georgie?

633
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:16,231
I could make you stuff to eat
that's Low calorie but still tastes the same.

634
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,113
Oh, no, no. No...no, no. No, love.

635
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:25,554
No, that's Morris's job.
My food intake is carefully worked out by him.

636
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,639
Anyway, I'm happy the way I am.

637
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,558
Look at the joy that I bring to people.

638
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,511
Ha-ha-ha!

639
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,276
- Now, wax or gel?
- Eh? Oh.

640
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:43,952
Hey.

641
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,834
You've got that spot-on. You're very good
at this, Amy. It's very professional.

642
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:51,111
Janice's friend, Sinitta,
who works at Sinitta'Scissors,

643
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,799
has said she might give me a part-time job.

644
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,354
And Like if I'm any good,
she's gonna train me <i>up...</i>

645
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:01,633
Any good? You get Sinitta'Scissors
down here to have a Look at that, eh?

646
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,475
(Snoring)

647
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:09,791
(Loud snore)

648
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,593
(Gentle snore)

649
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:24,434
(Gentle snoring)

650
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,632
(Loud snore)

651
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,511
(Gentle snore)

652
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,029
(Wheezes)

653
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,830
(Morris) It's all psychology, Valerie.

654
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:16,112
He said seven. I'm going in there
at quarter past. Let him know I'm a busy man.

655
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,549
- (Beeping)
- Ooh, hang on. I've got to go, love.

656
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:20,238
He's on the other line.

657
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:22,748
Morris Morrisey Personal Management.
Morris speaking.

658
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:24,916
- it’s Morley.
- All right, Morley?

659
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,633
<i>- Where</i> are you?
- Running Late. You know what it's like.

660
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,875
- I'm just in an important meeting.
- Oh, really?

661
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,309
Vis-a-vis-a George's media strategy.

662
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,078
<i>- I can see you, you...
-</i> What?

663
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:35,997
<i>I can see you.</i>

664
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,270
You can see me?

665
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,038
Yeah, I'll be straight in.

666
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,469
- (Cutlery clinking)
- (Coffee machine frothing)

667
00:45:45,720 --> 00:45:47,870
(Low chatter)

668
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:07,668
- Can I get you anything, Mr Raisin?
- Cafe' Latte', Clive.

669
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:11,474
Bet you don't know what a Latte is,
do you, Morris?

670
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,239
Don't underestimate me, Morley.

671
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,748
I'LL have a cafe' Latte as weLL.

672
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,158
Black.

673
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:26,549
I've heard your dwarf’s retired.
That's another loss for you.

674
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,068
Once he passed 70,
he couldn't do the cycling no more.

675
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,158
I've got another one
coming through the ranks anyway.

676
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,395
Two-foot hypnotist. Mini-medium.

677
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,431
(Milk froths in machine)

678
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,113
Well, if that's it, Morley...

679
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,515
How do you explain that?

680
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:49,590
I don't know if it's escaped your notice,
but you buried Tommy Stafford six months ago.

681
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,518
So that's the way you want to play it?

682
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,552
See, that T-shirt is officially a lie.

683
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,999
Oh, yeah?

684
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,508
I've got a fella down in Birmingham.

685
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,551
I'm training him up. He's big.

686
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,478
- Oh, big, is he? How big's big?
- Big.

687
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:07,795
- What's his name?
- Brian. Big Brian.

688
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:12,152
- Big Brian?
- Yeah, Big Brian. I've got plans for this one.

689
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,033
Talented eater. I think he can go all the way.

690
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,594
He can go all the way
up your ring-piece, Morley.

691
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:22,316
Georgie Godwin's the fattest man in Britain.
That's it, end of.

692
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,875
We don't do black lattes, sir.

693
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,756
You know what this means, don't you?

694
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,752
Weigh-off.

695
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,918
Why would Georgie Godwin do a weigh-off?
What's he got to prove?

696
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,475
If I were you, I wouldn't let
this fucking Big Brian humiliate himself.

697
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:53,239
A televised weigh-off.

698
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,838
- What do you mean, televised?
- On the television, Morris.

699
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,271
I had a word with Richard Barter.
He's up for it.

700
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,278
Thinks it'd make a nice quirky one
for the tea-time bulletin.

701
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,550
Course, if Georgie don't do weigh-offs...

702
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:14,037
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't say
he didn't do weigh-offs on the telly.

703
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:16,716
So you're in?

704
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,717
(spits)

705
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,315
Grow up, Morris.

706
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,715
- (Vehicle sounds horn)
- All right, on my way, Georgie.

707
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:32,117
- (Music playing)
- Be there in ten. I hope you're sitting down.

708
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:34,799
<i># You can stand under my umbrella...</i>

709
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:36,796
<i>- # Ella, ella...
- # Ella, ella...</i>

710
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,638
Come on, Georgie!

711
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:44,708
Tell me this, Amy. Why the fuck is that fucking
Turk not fucking answering his fucking mobile?

712
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:49,231
<i>- (TV theme tune plays)
- Oh, now, come on, now,</i> Janice.

713
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,669
We've all been there, love.

714
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:55,156
Amy's been there. I've been there.

715
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,112
Have you, Georgie?
Who've you been there with?

716
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:02,039
I don't like to talk about it, love.
It's still raw.

717
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,548
It were eight years ago.

718
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,478
Bernadette. Irish girl

719
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,593
Born with a full set of teeth, she was, Amy.
Can you imagine?

720
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,393
She were one of my care assistants
before Janice took over.

721
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,351
She never washed him properly.

722
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,516
She Loved me very much, Amy.

723
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,199
But I was mostly asleep in them days.

724
00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:24,710
Then they sorted out my medication
and she went back to Ireland.

725
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,876
She stole his post office book.

726
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,913
- Since that heartbreak, I've not bothered.
- (Church bell chiming)

727
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,510
Well, it was Bernadette's loss if you ask me.

728
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:38,439
No, it wasn't. It was George's.
How much did you have in that book?

729
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:44,350
Amy, look. That's cat they're eating there.
That's a tickle moggy.

730
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,470
D'you know what, Amy?

731
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:52,356
In one whole year, all that fucking Turk's
ever given me are six finger bowls.

732
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:53,799
And they were from his restaurant.

733
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:57,037
Ah, come on, Janice.
You're better off without him.

734
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,436
Oh, Amy, he's so gorgeous, though.

735
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,233
(Sniffs) He never wears socks.

736
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,033
Any, do you know how many times
that Turk's Let me down?

737
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,469
- No.
- Go on, guess.

738
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,590
I don't know. Lots.

739
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:14,235
- (Vehicle outside)
- Loads. And you know who'll verify that?

740
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:19,115
That man over there,
that oversized man sat there in that chair,

741
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:23,039
is the only decent man in my life.

742
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,273
He's always there for me.

743
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,754
- He's got an 'eart of gold.
- (Snorts)

744
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,155
- And d'you know who'll verify that, Amy?
- (Door shuts)

745
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:34,589
- (Morris) <i>#</i> My umbrella, ella, ella...
- Me.

746
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,791
<i>#</i> Eh, eh, eh, under my umbrella

747
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,592
<i>#</i> Ella, eh, eh

748
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,437
<i>#</i> Under my umbrella

749
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:42,913
<i># Eh, eh, eh'. #</i>

750
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,349
What's up with you, panda eyes?

751
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,797
- The Turk's not rang her.
- It's supposed to be her anniversary.

752
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:54,833
Well, maybe he's had to stop in
and do his homework.

753
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:58,475
- Come on, Janice. It's just a joke.
- (Sniffing)

754
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,795
- Now, then, Georgie.
- Hey, what you...

755
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,718
We...we were visiting Acapulco!

756
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,638
Ladies and gentlemen,
on behalf of Valmo Productions,

757
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,796
I've an announcement to make.

758
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:13,152
Take a good Look at this man here
sitting in this corner of the room,

759
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:19,196
because on September 23rd at 6:40pm
he's going to be in that corner of the room.

760
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:23,114
- What do you mean?
- You're gonna be on the telly.

761
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:27,039
Now, there are those
that have doubted Valmo Productions.

762
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,640
Well, to be honest, it were my Valerie.

763
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,513
But, Georgie, this is it. Big-time.

764
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,915
We're going to do a live weigh-off.

765
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:40,078
- A... A what? A weigh-off?
- It's against this lad called Brian.

766
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:43,112
Big Brian from Birmingham.
He's out of Morley Raisin's stable.

767
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:47,438
But even/body already knows I'm the fattest
man in Britain. Why do I need a weigh-off?

768
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:51,758
Georgie, it's Like Andy Wartle said,
everybody gets their ten minutes of Fame.

769
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,360
Well, it's Georgie Godwin's turn.

770
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,358
Listen, cock, we're gonna bulk you up
to peak condition.

771
00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:01,871
And when you get on them scales, who knows?
You may be the fattest man in the world.

772
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:03,876
Hey. Ha-ha-ha!

773
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,151
What you on about?
You can't bulk him up any more.

774
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:10,078
He's on oxygen as it is.

775
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:14,193
Listen, with all due respect,
with the best will in the world, Amy love,

776
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:17,710
- fuck off, it's nowt to do with you.
- Course it is, if I care about him!

777
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:19,671
- And I don't?
- No, it don't Look like it.

778
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,870
Would you answer me
one question, please, Amy?

779
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:25,549
If I didn't care about him, how else
do you think that fat lump sat there...

780
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,194
how else do you think
he would have met Edwina Currie?

781
00:52:28,240 --> 00:52:31,232
How else do you think he would have met
Grant Bovey? Answer me that!

782
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:34,750
Georgie, I see you there,
sat with that mask on at night,

783
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,711
gasping away like it's your last breath.

784
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:40,150
You need to lose weight, not put on any more.

785
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:47,030
Are you gonna take this from her?
Lose weight? Lose weight?

786
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,072
His weight didn't bother you
the night he asked you to move in,

787
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,111
when you had nowhere to go, Orphan Annie.

788
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,390
Come on now.
She's only thinking about me.

789
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:57,273
I'm the one thinking of you, 24-7.

790
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:01,199
It's all right sat in that chair watching
Angela Lansbury with a fucking Magnum

791
00:53:01,240 --> 00:53:02,639
and giving orders like Hitler,

792
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:06,195
"I don't want any Viennettas any more.
I want Hagen Dazzy now."

793
00:53:06,240 --> 00:53:08,629
You never got me any.
You still got me Viennetta.

794
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:12,468
I've said my piece, Georgie.
If I say any more, I might regret it.

795
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:16,718
I'll take Janice home before she's sick.
We don't want to see that again, do we?

796
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,716
Come on.

797
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:26,109
I'll be round tomorrow, 12pm, noon.

798
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:30,233
And then perhaps you can suggest
what I'm going to say to Richard Barter.

799
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:37,673
(Door opens and closes)

800
00:53:37,720 --> 00:53:41,838
The fucking cheek of her!
With her dyed-black hair.

801
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:46,192
Who wants all this painting even/thing
eggshell? It's just magnolia, Janice.

802
00:53:46,240 --> 00:53:49,789
- (Gate creaks)
- For five quid a tin extra.

803
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:54,914
Her and her fucking energy-saving Light bulbs.
What a load of cock.

804
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:58,794
She's got herself up the duff,
and now she's found a sugar daddy.

805
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:02,310
She's exploiting him, Janice,
because of his size.

806
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:08,990
Are you all right, Janice?
You're not gonna be sick, are you?

807
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:16,438
- George, Morris is your pimp!
- I won't have you bad-mouthing him!

808
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:20,632
He's just getting money out of people by
showing you off like you're the Elephant Man.

809
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:23,478
If it wasn't for Morris Morrisey
I'd be Living the Life of an invalid!

810
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:26,353
- (Bed springs creaking)
- (Morris) It's happening, Valerie!

811
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:29,676
- (Rapid creaking)
- Oh, Val!

812
00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:33,235
- (Siren blaring outside)
- (Panting)

813
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:38,115
Oh, bloody hell I'm sorry], Janice love.
I lost my bearings for a moment there.

814
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,549
(Both sighing)

815
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:45,830
I've been called worse.

816
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:51,671
(Gasping) Twice now, we've been making love
and the Turk's called me Mama.

817
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:59,555
Me and Valerie,
we're not even in the same bedroom now.

818
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:05,073
She says it's because of my...you know, my...

819
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,350
- Snoring.
- ..psoriasis.

820
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,233
Some nights my elbows are on fire.

821
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,113
But does she care?

822
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,833
Do you know something, Morris?

823
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,474
I've never seen that Turk in daylight.

824
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:23,594
He finishes in t'restaurant, comes over for
his knock-off and then he goes straight after.

825
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:25,949
And I'm left with a bed full of hairs.

826
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:33,634
I've tried to get Valerie to come and see
Georgie, take an interest in me career,

827
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:37,912
but she says she can't stand looking at him,
makes her feel sick.

828
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:39,791
(Tuts) Oh.

829
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,395
Bloody hell,
give us another go at them, Janice.

830
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,512
- (Blowing raspberries)
- Oh, Morris!

831
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,199
Thank you very much.

832
00:56:12,240 --> 00:56:15,232
- Ah, Raj. Thank you very much. Thanks, Raj.
- Mr Morris.

833
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,999
- Take care, Georgie.
- Thanks, Nana.

834
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:25,315
Ah! Thank you very much.

835
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,271
Good luck to Georgie.

836
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,118
- Give my love to Whiplash.
- Will do.

837
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:37,799
- Couple of pound in here.
- It'll all go down the same hole, eh?

838
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:43,078
Just make sure you fucking win.

839
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:47,277
(Chatter)

840
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,878
<i>(Woman) ..is now locked
and the numbers are loaded.</i>

841
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:01,956
(Gasping)

842
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:08,713
<i>...to get your free cards
for the rest of tonight's game...</i>

843
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,797
- (Birdsong)
- (Dog barks outside)

844
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,958
- (Chatter outside)
- (Gasps)

845
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,590
(Chatter)

846
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,392
Nana, we're sitting here.

847
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,831
Joan

848
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:52,952
Now, what we're gonna do...

849
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,399
That's fine.

850
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:58,479
- That's my daughter over there.
- Oh. I'll make sure we can give her a mention.

851
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,960
- Love the pompoms.
- Ooh.

852
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,274
This is it, Georgie.

853
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:07,950
You're gonna get on them scales a fat man,
and you're gonna get off a legend.

854
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,709
Are you in the zone?
Come on, get in the zone. Get in the zone!

855
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,149
Think, "I'm a winner, I'm a heavy winner."

856
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,839
- Come on, say it!
- I'm a heavy...I'm a heavy winner.

857
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,394
- Come on!
- I'm an 'eavy winner. I'm an 'eavy winner!

858
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:22,637
You've got it! Hey! You haven't had a slash
this morning, have you?

859
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,240
- No.
- Good. That's an extra half-pound there.

860
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:27,316
(Vehicle sounds horn)

861
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,958
- Morley's here.
- Yeah?

862
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,159
(Morris) There he is.

863
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,555
Big Brian's here now.

864
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:47,917
Is that it? You'll fucking walk this, Georgie.
I've a bigger belly than him.

865
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:50,155
Ha-ha-ha!

866
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:56,430
(Door clangs)

867
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:58,516
(Heavy footsteps)

868
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:06,077
- Oh, fucking hell.
- Eh? What?

869
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,310
(whirring)

870
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:20,431
(Shouts)

871
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,668
What are you doing here?

872
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,314
You ate all the pies!

873
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:30,079
<i># Oh, Mickey, you're so fine,
you're so fine you blow my mind</i>

874
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:33,032
<i># Hey, Mickey! Hey, Mickey!</i>

875
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:36,550
<i>- # Oh, Mickey, you're so fine...
- Mickey!</i>

876
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,068
<i># Hey, Mickey! Hey, Mickey!</i>

877
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:42,635
Hello, Brian. Nice to see you.

878
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:46,711
And Morley.

879
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,957
- (Door opens)
- (George groans)

880
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,872
- Morley.
- Morris. George.

881
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,957
Ah...hiya, Morley.

882
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:04,834
I thought you were bringing Big Brian.
Who's this, his anorexic fucking brother?

883
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,952
- How are you, Big Brian?
- (Birmingham accent) Nice to meet you.

884
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,072
- (# Eye Of The Tiger plays)
- Here, come and sit here. That's you.

885
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,714
Oh, thank you.

886
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:18,156
Sit yourself down there, Brian.
Save yourself for the weigh-off.

887
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,475
(Gasping)

888
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:29,232
Hiya! You all right?

889
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:30,679
(Giggles)

890
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:33,188
Would you like a towel, Big Brian?

891
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:38,037
- Would Big Brian like a towel?
- We don't do towels, darling.

892
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:40,116
Oh.

893
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:45,073
- Who's this stunner, then, Morris?
- This is Janice. She's part of Team Georgie.

894
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:48,112
- Morley Raisin.
- Oh.

895
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,276
(Giggles)

896
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:56,151
OK, guys, hello there
and good luck to you both.

897
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:59,351
Now, once the studio throws to me,
I'll do a quick introduction,

898
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:02,358
we'll get the first one on,
weigh him, he can waddle off,

899
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,516
get the second one on, announce the winner,

900
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:08,030
quick interview, "Always wanted
to be fattest man" sort of thing,

901
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:10,799
then it's Joan Cropper,
her dance troupe, and we're out.

902
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:12,831
OK? Any questions?

903
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:15,917
- We're good to go, Richard.
- Yeah, yeah, we're good to go, Richard.

904
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:17,393
Thank you, Richard.

905
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,352
(# Synthesizer playing Eye Of The Tiger)

906
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:33,676
(Feedback squeaks)

907
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:36,280
<i>(Woman) “two large gentlemen
waiting for us right now</i>

908
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:38,515
<i>in a front room somewhere in Rochdale.</i>

909
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,471
<i>For them big is beautiful,</i>

910
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:45,548
<i>as they attempt to smash the record of
Britain's fattest man on tonight's programme.</i>

911
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:49,275
<i>As ever, our reporter Richard Barter's
with them now. Richard?</i>

912
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:53,154
<i>Thanks, Claire. josh Cropper
and her troupe there,</i>

913
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:56,431
<i>one of whom
I am reliably informed is her daughter.</i>

914
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,916
Well, regular viewers
to the programme will remember

915
01:01:59,960 --> 01:02:03,873
that the title of Britain's fattest man
was held until recently

916
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,753
by Burnley's "Two-Ton" Tommy Stafford,

917
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:11,032
whose funeral we covered on this very show.

918
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:15,471
<i>Here with me are two gentlemen
hoping to claim that title for themselves,</i>

919
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:20,036
<i>Rochdale's Georgie Godwin
and Birmingham's Big Brian Porter.</i>

920
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:23,993
<i>- (Ice</i> cream <i>van</i> music)
<i>- Well, this really could go either way.</i>

921
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:27,555
Big Brian,
you're first up on the scales, please.

922
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:29,719
(Boeing)

923
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:32,797
(Fruit-machine style beeping)

924
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,115
(Boeing)

925
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:42,509
(Richard) It's all very tense here, Claire.

926
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:46,348
Behind Big Brian
there's his manager Morley Raisin,

927
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,949
who spotted Big Brian aged just 18

928
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,390
when he was stuck in the turnstiles
at the Birmingham NEC.

929
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:55,396
(Booing continues)

930
01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:59,592
<i>We'll have the results any second now.</i>

931
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,635
<i>(Chuckles) And there it is.</i>

932
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:08,835
That is an incredible 54 stones and six pounds.

933
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:11,348
<i>That is amazing.</i>

934
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:14,995
- Nice one, Brian.
- Well done, Big Brian.

935
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:16,917
<i>Now on to our next contender,</i>

936
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:20,350
- <i>Rochdale 's very own Georgie Godwin,</i>
- <i>(Cheering)</i>

937
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:23,912
<i>Ha-ha-ha!</i>

938
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:28,112
<i>When I last weighed myself,
I were 53 and a half stone.</i>

939
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:31,232
<i>And that were at GK Morleys on Ashcroft Road.</i>

940
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:34,875
They weighed me
on the thingy that they weigh...

941
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:37,718
- Gonna have to hurry you there, George.
- Sorry, Richard.

942
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,910
<i>- Ha-ha-ha!
- So here we go, Georgie Godwin.</i>

943
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:42,997
- Up on the scales.
- Get in there, Georgie.

944
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:48,476
- (Crowd outside) Georgie! Georgie! Georgie!
- History in the making here, Claire.

945
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:50,829
Georgie! Georgie! Georgie!

946
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:52,233
(Beeping)

947
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:59,072
Baited breath as we wait to see
if George can top Big Brian's score.

948
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:05,237
- Georgie! Georgie!
- Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three...

949
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,789
- (Beeping)
- (Crowd outside) Georgie! Georgie!

950
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:13,115
Come on, Georgie, come on!

951
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:17,393
Come on, Georgie!

952
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:20,159
Georgie! Georgie!

953
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:23,431
- (Beeping)
- (Crowd outside) Georgie! Georgie! Georgie!

954
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:27,789
(Beeping)

955
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:29,637
Here it is.

956
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:32,393
- George...
- (Beep)

957
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,591
...you are 42 stones

958
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:38,393
- and three pounds!
- Yes!

959
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:41,193
- (Richard) It's good but it's not good enough!
- You what?

960
01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:43,993
- (Cliff Richard's Congratulations plays)
- Oh!

961
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:48,192
<i>Morley Raisin, Big Brian's manager,
you must be delighted.</i>

962
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:51,755
<i>- He's a very good boy.
- Big Brian, Let's have a reaction.</i>

963
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:55,315
<i>Yeah, yeah, delighted.
In all fairness, I really enjoyed it.</i>

964
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:57,476
So there you have it,

965
01:04:57,520 --> 01:05:05,154
by some 12 stones, Britain's fattest man
is Big Brian Porter from Birmingham.

966
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:07,350
Ha-ha! Back to you, Claire.

967
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:12,349
What a load of bollocks!
I've taken t'afternoon off work for this!

968
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:16,154
Forty-two stone? I've shit bigger than that.

969
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:19,636
Thanks, everyone. That's it.
ReaLLy good human interest story.

970
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,433
- Thanks very much. WeLL done, Brian.
- Forty-two stone?

971
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:26,189
- How about turning on the Christmas Lights?
- I can't be!

972
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:28,834
I were 53 at GK Morleys on Ashcroft Road!

973
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:32,236
I'm twice the size I was then! Look at me!

974
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:34,157
- Richard! Richard!
- Look at me!

975
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:37,158
Richard! We're not happy with the result.
We want a recount.

976
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:41,876
Sony, boys. You play with feathers,
you get your arse tickled.

977
01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:45,469
I suppose access might be a problem.

978
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:47,715
We'll have to get him up in a...

979
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:53,076
(Door shuts)

980
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:55,634
I'll make us a cup of tea, cock.

981
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:57,557
(Vehicle starts up outside)

982
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,799
(Coins jingle)

983
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:06,195
(Low chatter)

984
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,071
(Dog barking in distance)

985
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:39,191
(Door closes)

986
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:49,351
(Clock ticking)

987
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:00,836
Well, thanks for your support.

988
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:08,674
Morris says he's gonna sort me out another
weigh-off with the right scales this time.

989
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:11,917
He said them ones must've been faulty.

990
01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:15,873
Janice says I was robbed. In any other sport
there'd have been an inquiry.

991
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:17,876
Heads would roll, she said.

992
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:21,874
Well, that's what she said.

993
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:25,230
(Sighs) They've made
a right mess of the garden.

994
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:39,749
Can I ask you a question, Georgie?

995
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:44,275
How Long is it
since you've been outside this house?

996
01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:47,915
- None of your business.
- It's not since your mum died, is it, George?

997
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:52,829
- I've told you, Amy. I'm happy how I am.
- Georgie!

998
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,394
That's 23 years!

999
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:58,550
What have you done to yourself?

1000
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:11,072
In... In the lift at work
the sign said, "Maximum 16 persons".

1001
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:14,669
Underneath someone had written,
"Or one Georgie Godwin".

1002
01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:17,553
No bugger would sit with me in the canteen.

1003
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:20,677
Not even Shaky Dave.

1004
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:24,554
Even] day I'd get his straw for him for
his soup, and he still wouldn't sit next to me.

1005
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:26,989
And when I'd go out, I'd always get the same.

1006
01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:29,600
Michelin Man! Mr Wobbly!

1007
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:32,473
Hey, you fucking fat twat!

1008
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:37,355
I heard 'em. Even when they said it quietly,
I still heard 'em.

1009
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:42,394
And then along came Morris
with his enthusiasm and his panache,

1010
01:08:42,440 --> 01:08:45,876
and suddenly people started to pay to see me.

1011
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:50,274
All right, they were mainly foreigners, but...

1012
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:56,712
but I didn't have to be ashamed
about my size any more.

1013
01:08:56,760 --> 01:09:02,392
That's why this...
this title is so important to me, Amy!

1014
01:09:02,440 --> 01:09:05,113
The fattest man in Britain!

1015
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:10,188
Because if I'm not the fattest,
what am I, eh? I'm just a fat man!

1016
01:09:10,240 --> 01:09:13,038
Just a big fat man sat in his chair!

1017
01:09:15,720 --> 01:09:18,996
But you've already got a title, Georgie.

1018
01:09:20,640 --> 01:09:23,200
You're my friend.

1019
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:28,588
L...I've never had a dad.

1020
01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:32,394
But when I met you,
it felt like I'd been given one.

1021
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:42,953
But that's shite, because a real dad wouldn't
eat himself to death in front of his daughter!

1022
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,195
(Gasps)

1023
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:47,470
' (Sobs)
_ Amy.

1024
01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:49,317
Oh, fuck.

1025
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:51,794
- Fuck!
- What is it? ls it happening, love?

1026
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:54,434
How do I know? Call an ambulance.

1027
01:09:54,480 --> 01:09:56,550
- (Gasps)
- Right.

1028
01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:58,431
(Keypad beeps)

1029
01:09:58,480 --> 01:10:00,118
Come on, come on, come on.

1030
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:02,993
<i>- (Woman) Emergency services.
- Hello,</i> love! <i>Ambulance, please.</i>

1031
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:07,158
Yes, I think my friend's having a baby.
Yes, right...right now.

1032
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:10,317
That is the correct address, number 42, yes.

1033
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:12,351
Ambulance is on its way, love.

1034
01:10:12,400 --> 01:10:14,391
Oh, how many weeks gone are you?

1035
01:10:14,440 --> 01:10:16,795
Um...28.

1036
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:19,149
- (Woman) 28'.
- 28! Did you hear that?

1037
01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:22,670
<i>- Has she had a show?
- Well, we...we're not</i> sure.

1038
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:25,314
- Have you had a show? A show of what?
- No.

1039
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,078
No, no show yet. That's a no-show.

1040
01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:29,793
<i>- Ask her if she wants to push.
- Do you feel like pushing?</i>

1041
01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:32,638
- Cos she's saying if you do, don't.
- That's correct,

1042
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:35,399
All right, love.
Oh, thank you, love. Thank you.

1043
01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:37,829
- (Beep)
- Ambulance is on its way, love.

1044
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:40,599
Right, now Let's get your baby bag. Come on.

1045
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:43,598
- (She gasps)
- Oh.

1046
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:46,279
Oh! 'Ey!

1047
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,834
- Aaah! Aaah!
- Oh! Oh! Ooh!

1048
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,509
- (He gasps)
- (She sobs)

1049
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:59,075
I tell you what, forget that.
I'll just lie down here with you for a bit.

1050
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:00,712
Oh.

1051
01:11:00,760 --> 01:11:04,833
It's too early, Georgie.
It...it shouldn't be happening yet.

1052
01:11:04,880 --> 01:11:08,919
Don't worn], love. I'm down here with you now
and I shall stay here all the time.

1053
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:11,315
You are not alone, Amy.

1054
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:16,434
- (Gasping)
- 'Ey, I were premature and Look at me.

1055
01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:19,711
" (sobbing)
<i>“</i> Oh...'ey!

1056
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:24,788
Why...why I don't I sing you a Little song, eh?
Take your mind off it, eh?

1057
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:28,355
'Ey, now, what can I get you
from Georgie's jukebox, eh?

1058
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:31,836
- Um...how about a Little bit of Neil Diamond?
- No.

1059
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:34,189
No. Right, all right, then.

1060
01:11:34,240 --> 01:11:35,832
Hang on.

1061
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:38,314
Right, here, here! What about this one?

1062
01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:43,279
<i>#</i> Moon river

1063
01:11:43,320 --> 01:11:46,471
<i>#</i> Wider than a smile

1064
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:48,715
<i>- #</i> I'm crossing...
- It's mile.

1065
01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:52,833
- You what?
- It's "wider than a mile", not "smile".

1066
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:55,796
Well, how does that work?

1067
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:59,913
It isn't...it isn't "mile", it's "smile".

1068
01:11:59,960 --> 01:12:02,679
I know that song, Georgie.
I'm telling you it's fucking "mile".

1069
01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:06,110
- It doesn't make sense to me. It's not, is it?
- (Sobs)

1070
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:09,516
<i>#</i> Two drifters

1071
01:12:09,560 --> 01:12:12,074
<i>#</i> Off to see the world

1072
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:17,353
<i>#</i> There's such a lot of world to see

1073
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:21,439
<i>#</i> We're after the same
<i>#</i> After the same

1074
01:12:21,480 --> 01:12:24,870
- (Both) <i>#</i> Rainbow's end...
- (Siren outside)

1075
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:27,878
<i>- #</i> Waiting round the bend...
- That's it.

1076
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:31,230
<i>#</i> My huckleberry friend

1077
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:36,035
<i># Moon fiver and me #</i>

1078
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:37,798
Come on, again.

1079
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:41,071
- (Moon River plays)
<i>- #</i> Moon river

1080
01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:44,874
<i>- # Wider than a</i> mile
- (Georgie) <i>#</i> Wider than a smile

1081
01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:48,629
<i>- # I’m crossing you in style
- (Georgie) # Crossing you in</i> style

1082
01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:52,229
<i># Some day</i>

1083
01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:56,239
<i># Oh, dream maker</i>

1084
01:12:56,280 --> 01:13:00,034
<i># You heartbreaker</i>

1085
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:03,516
<i># Wherever you're going</i>

1086
01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:07,235
<i># I'm going your way...</i>

1087
01:13:07,280 --> 01:13:11,068
<i>- (George</i> sighs)
<i>- # Two drifters...</i>

1088
01:13:11,120 --> 01:13:14,192
<i>- (Ambulance</i> siren)
<i>- # Off to see the world</i>

1089
01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:21,036
<i># There's such a lot of world to see...</i>

1090
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:23,558
(Ringing)

1091
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:26,319
<i>- # We're after.”
- (George) Oh.</i>

1092
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:30,751
<i># The same rainbows end</i>

1093
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:33,155
- <i>Hello! This is Georgie Godwin,”</i>
- <i>(Knocking)</i>

1094
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:34,633
<i>...the fattest man in Britain.</i>

1095
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,750
<i>Please Leave a message after the tone.</i>

1096
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:38,472
- <i>Ha-ha!</i>
- <i>(Beep)</i>

1097
01:13:38,520 --> 01:13:40,909
- <i>(Janice) Georgie love, it's me,</i>
- <i>(Knocking)</i>

1098
01:13:40,960 --> 01:13:43,155
<i>- (Grunts)
- Amy's fine...</i>

1099
01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:46,636
<i>- Oh.
- ..but she's lost the baby.</i>

1100
01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:48,432
Oh, no.

1101
01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:51,711
No, no, no, no. No, no.

1102
01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:54,593
<i>- It was a little boy.
- No.</i>

1103
01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:56,870
<i>They tried but...</i>

1104
01:13:56,920 --> 01:13:59,070
<i>they couldn't save it.</i>

1105
01:13:59,120 --> 01:14:00,519
(Sniffs)

1106
01:14:00,560 --> 01:14:04,109
<i>I'm stopping with her for now and, um...</i>

1107
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:07,357
<i>and I'll be home later, love.</i>

1108
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:10,676
(Sniffs) That poor baby.

1109
01:14:12,600 --> 01:14:15,512
(Sniffs) Poor lickle baby.

1110
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:28,160
- (Footsteps)
- (Door opens)

1111
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:30,191
I'm in here.

1112
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:36,631
Georgie love!

1113
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,399
Oh, my God! Have you been here all night?

1114
01:14:39,440 --> 01:14:43,069
L...l told them to go.
I said I'd be all right. How is she?

1115
01:14:43,120 --> 01:14:46,078
She's resting. Let... Oh.

1116
01:14:46,120 --> 01:14:49,112
Oh, no, no, don't. Don't, don't.
Don't, Janice, don't, don't.

1117
01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:55,439
Oh. Hello?

1118
01:14:55,480 --> 01:14:58,438
Um...yes, hang on, I'm not sure.

1119
01:14:58,480 --> 01:15:01,552
- Do we need fire, ambulance or police?
- I don't know.

1120
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:05,070
We don't really know. We've got
a 42-stone man here stuck on the floor.

1121
01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:10,353
- 53.
- A 53-stone man stuck on the floor.

1122
01:15:10,400 --> 01:15:12,550
Yes, um...Chapel Street.

1123
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:15,273
Thanks.

1124
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:19,552
- They're on their way.
- When will she be home, Janice?

1125
01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:24,515
Um...well, she...she's got to stay in hospital
for another couple of days.

1126
01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:26,915
We...we need to get her home
so we can Look after her.

1127
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:30,032
- Yes, love.
- Right, I'm gonna tape all the Jeremy Kyles.

1128
01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:33,390
And she's going to rest on that sofa
with her feet up whilst I run around after her.

1129
01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:34,873
Yes.

1130
01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:38,879
- Oh, Georgie love, you must be parched.
- Yeah.

1131
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:42,754
I'll go and get you some cherryade
and a plateful of nibbles.

1132
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:46,429
Can I talk to her, Janice?
WilL..will they let me speak to her?

1133
01:15:46,480 --> 01:15:48,869
Eh? Eh?

1134
01:15:58,280 --> 01:16:00,032
- Georgie love.
- Eh?

1135
01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:02,435
She asked me to give you this letter.

1136
01:16:02,480 --> 01:16:03,959
Oh!

1137
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:16,235
(Siren outside)

1138
01:16:22,960 --> 01:16:25,269
What's that all about?

1139
01:16:26,520 --> 01:16:29,034
- It's over there, in't it?
- Oh, I think it's Georgie.

1140
01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:32,197
- They're looking good.
- Bring your hosepipe over here, love.

1141
01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:34,515
(Air hissing)

1142
01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,634
(Low chatter)

1143
01:16:46,440 --> 01:16:48,556
Ah.

1144
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:50,431
Ah. Oh.

1145
01:16:50,480 --> 01:16:52,994
- We'll do that.
- OK.

1146
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:55,270
- Oh.
- OK.

1147
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:57,914
- Oh.
- On three. One, two, three.

1148
01:16:57,960 --> 01:16:59,678
- Oh!
- It's away.

1149
01:16:59,720 --> 01:17:02,075
- All the way round.
- Oh.

1150
01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:04,918
- Nearly there. Sit down.
- Oh, we're there. Oh.

1151
01:17:04,960 --> 01:17:07,838
- (Man on radio)
- There we go. You all right?

1152
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:10,235
- Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
- Thank you so much.

1153
01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:12,157
It's OK.

1154
01:17:12,200 --> 01:17:14,350
- Bye.
- Bye.

1155
01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:17,073
(Door closes)

1156
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:29,637
<i>- (Clock ticking)
- (Amy) Dear George,</i>

1157
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,240
<i>please don't worry about me.</i>

1158
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:36,558
<i>I will just have to get through this like
I have a lot of other bad things in my Life.</i>

1159
01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:40,718
<i>They said at the hospital
that the baby was too tiny for Life.</i>

1160
01:17:41,720 --> 01:17:44,996
<i>They let me hold him for a few minutes.</i>

1161
01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:47,554
<i>I named him Georgie.</i>

1162
01:17:47,600 --> 01:17:52,958
<i>I love you so very much.
You are the kindest person I have ever met.</i>

1163
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,070
<i>But I won't be coming back,</i>

1164
01:17:55,120 --> 01:17:58,874
<i>because I can't bear to sit by
and watch you eat yourself to death.</i>

1165
01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:03,230
<i>I've lost one Georgie
and I don't want to lose another.</i>

1166
01:18:05,160 --> 01:18:07,230
<i>I hope you will understand.</i>

1167
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:12,031
<i>Your friend always, Amy.</i>

1168
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:17,877
<i>PS, "smile” is much better than "mile".</i>

1169
01:18:19,480 --> 01:18:21,471
(Folds letter)

1170
01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:33,151
(Children shout)

1171
01:18:44,360 --> 01:18:46,351
(Clock ticking)

1172
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:03,199
No.

1173
01:19:25,520 --> 01:19:28,717
- (Chatter)
- Georgie!

1174
01:19:28,760 --> 01:19:32,275
- (Knocking)
- Georgie! It's me!

1175
01:19:32,320 --> 01:19:35,869
- (Knocking)
- (Morris) Georgie! Georgie!

1176
01:19:35,920 --> 01:19:37,797
Sorry about this.

1177
01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:43,038
(Oxygen hisses)

1178
01:19:51,560 --> 01:19:54,313
(Loud snoring)

1179
01:19:54,360 --> 01:19:56,430
(Snorting)

1180
01:20:01,360 --> 01:20:03,271
(Shorts)

1181
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,560
People are worried about you, Georgie.

1182
01:20:10,440 --> 01:20:13,273
I was there
when Tommy breathed his last breath.

1183
01:20:14,920 --> 01:20:16,876
Nobody ever enjoyed dying more.

1184
01:20:18,400 --> 01:20:21,756
But at the end of the day,
Georgie, he's still dead.

1185
01:20:21,800 --> 01:20:24,598
- (Sighs)
- (Birdsong outside)

1186
01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:29,068
(Vehicle sounds horn)

1187
01:20:29,120 --> 01:20:31,350
Have you thought about God in any of this?

1188
01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:37,032
I mean, God already got
that big fat bastard Tommy up there already.

1189
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:39,071
He could wait a Little while for another.

1190
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:43,989
And...and you can use that time.
To pull yourself together.

1191
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:48,079
And with the help of God,
fight this vicious disease

1192
01:20:48,120 --> 01:20:51,157
of...of eating even] fecking thing.

1193
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:53,668
Hm?

1194
01:20:59,280 --> 01:21:03,990
- That's my blessing to you, Georgie.
- Thank you, Father.

1195
01:21:06,440 --> 01:21:12,276
Georgie, if I may be so bold, and seeing
as how you're not eating at the moment,

1196
01:21:12,320 --> 01:21:15,118
could I have these Pop Tarts?

1197
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:18,391
Father Brendan, he hides them in the sacristy].

1198
01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:21,193
Heh-heh! He's a miserable bastard.

1199
01:21:29,720 --> 01:21:31,711
(Door closes)

1200
01:21:32,760 --> 01:21:35,752
(Morris) Will you stop looking
out that fucking window?

1201
01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:38,189
Come on, Georgie.

1202
01:21:38,240 --> 01:21:41,550
What's the matter with you?
You've got to eat something.

1203
01:21:42,560 --> 01:21:44,596
Morris, I've told you.

1204
01:21:45,880 --> 01:21:47,632
I don't want to do it no more.

1205
01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:51,197
I'm sorry,

1206
01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:56,633
but I'm not the fattest man in Britain...
and I never was.

1207
01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:58,591
(Clock ticking)

1208
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:08,597
Well...

1209
01:22:11,040 --> 01:22:13,156
you are to me, cock.

1210
01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:17,911
You are to me.

1211
01:22:20,880 --> 01:22:23,872
(Door opens and shuts)

1212
01:22:29,720 --> 01:22:31,676
(Crow caws outside)

1213
01:22:32,360 --> 01:22:35,079
(sighs)

1214
01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:36,678
(Grunts)

1215
01:22:36,720 --> 01:22:39,518
- (Crow caws)
- Hm.

1216
01:23:04,920 --> 01:23:07,036
(Clock ticking)

1217
01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:24,349
(Children shout)

1218
01:23:46,560 --> 01:23:48,710
(Grunts)

1219
01:23:55,320 --> 01:23:57,880
(Grunts)

1220
01:24:02,480 --> 01:24:04,755
(Grunts)

1221
01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:06,950
(Door creaks)

1222
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:09,309
(Door clicks)

1223
01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:21,357
<i># Wider than a smile</i>

1224
01:24:22,200 --> 01:24:27,115
<i># The truth can be unkind</i>

1225
01:24:28,560 --> 01:24:32,872
<i># So take the only one</i>

1226
01:24:34,800 --> 01:24:40,033
<i># Who thought you were someone</i>

1227
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:45,438
<i># No apology</i>

1228
01:24:46,520 --> 01:24:51,435
<i># I'll live the life I lead</i>

1229
01:24:52,960 --> 01:24:57,158
<i># I hope you understand</i>

1230
01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:03,398
<i># That none of this was planned</i>

1231
01:25:33,360 --> 01:25:38,150
<i># No apology</i>

1232
01:25:38,200 --> 01:25:40,634
<i># I'll live the life I lead...</i>

1233
01:25:40,680 --> 01:25:43,194
It's Moby fuckin' Dick!

1234
01:25:44,720 --> 01:25:49,316
<i># I hope you understand</i>

1235
01:25:51,560 --> 01:25:55,678
<i># That none of this was planned</i>

1236
01:25:57,240 --> 01:25:59,959
You fat bastard!

1237
01:26:25,200 --> 01:26:27,475
Fat bastard!

1238
01:26:28,520 --> 01:26:30,829
Georgie!

1239
01:26:36,480 --> 01:26:38,914
Fat bastard!

1240
01:26:41,440 --> 01:26:45,319
- Look at that fat bastard!
- (Laughter)

1241
01:26:45,360 --> 01:26:48,079
(Shouts)

1242
01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:52,913
(Car sounds horn)

1243
01:26:54,280 --> 01:26:59,957
<i># Who am I to ask you
why you feel the way you do...</i>

1244
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:01,399
Hey.

1245
01:27:01,440 --> 01:27:04,989
<i># If you feel the way you do</i>

1246
01:27:05,040 --> 01:27:06,996
Hey.

1247
01:27:07,040 --> 01:27:12,114
<i># There must be something we could do...</i>

1248
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:15,835
<i>'</i> (Beeping)
- (He grunts)

1249
01:27:15,880 --> 01:27:20,192
(Sniffs)

1250
01:27:20,240 --> 01:27:23,198
(Gasping)

1251
01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:25,549
Hello, love.

1252
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:27,272
(Chuckles)

1253
01:27:31,920 --> 01:27:33,319
Oh.

1254
01:27:34,360 --> 01:27:36,237
Oh!

1255
01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:41,236
(He chuckles)

1256
01:27:41,280 --> 01:27:43,271
Oh.

1257
01:27:44,440 --> 01:27:45,429
(Music plays)

1258
01:27:45,480 --> 01:27:49,996
(Morris) Now, what I'm gonna show you today,
and it's not just me who says this,

1259
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:52,600
is the eighth wonder of the world.

1260
01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:58,272
Touching will not be permitted
under any circumstances. Health and safety.

1261
01:27:58,320 --> 01:28:02,108
I can confirm to you
that Georgie Godwin holds the world's record

1262
01:28:02,160 --> 01:28:03,957
for Britain's biggest weight Loss.

1263
01:28:04,000 --> 01:28:08,710
And if anybody tells you
that Big Brian from Birmingham has lost more,

1264
01:28:08,760 --> 01:28:10,876
they're talking out of their arsehole.

1265
01:28:10,920 --> 01:28:14,629
<i># You and me, we go in style</i>

1266
01:28:14,680 --> 01:28:18,434
<i># Cracklin' Rosie,
you're a store-bought woman</i>

1267
01:28:18,480 --> 01:28:22,109
<i># But you make me sing
like a guitar humming</i>

1268
01:28:22,160 --> 01:28:23,832
<i># So hang on to me, girl</i>

1269
01:28:23,880 --> 01:28:29,557
<i># Our song keeps running on</i>

1270
01:28:30,760 --> 01:28:32,318
<i># Play it now, play it now</i>

1271
01:28:32,360 --> 01:28:34,874
<i># Play it now, my baby</i>

1272
01:28:34,920 --> 01:28:38,674
<i># Crackling Rosie, make me smile</i>

1273
01:28:38,720 --> 01:28:43,032
<i># Girl, if it lasts for an hour, that's all right</i>

1274
01:28:43,080 --> 01:28:44,877
<i># Cos we got all night</i>

1275
01:28:47,040 --> 01:28:49,952
<i># To set the world right</i>

1276
01:28:50,000 --> 01:28:53,754
<i># Find us a dream
that don't ask no questions</i>

1277
01:28:53,800 --> 01:28:55,916
<i># Yeah</i>

1278
01:28:57,520 --> 01:29:01,433
<i># Oh, I love my Rosie child</i>

1279
01:29:01,480 --> 01:29:04,950
<i># You've got the way to make me happy</i>

1280
01:29:05,000 --> 01:29:06,558
<i># You and me... #</i>