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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Chew carefully, I'm missing an earring.
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Eh, I'll roll the dice.
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Hey, everybody.
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I have some big news..
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- I'm moving out.
- You're what?
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What do you mean you're moving out?
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I am moving in with Emmett.
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His parents promised him an
apartment when he turned 18.
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They had a party for him, gave him a
cake and drove him to the new place.
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All in like 20 minutes.
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P.J., I'm not sure about this.
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Mom, it totally makes sense.
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I'm about to start Community College and
the apartment is right near campus.
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That is a good point.
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Blah blah blah. All I'm hearing
is that I'm getting my own room.
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Let's get you packed. Come on.
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Bob, are you sure PJ's
ready to live on his own?
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Well, he is 18, honey.
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Oh, it sounds like somebody's
experiencing empty-nest syndrome.
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Well, the good news there is that
our nest is still very very full.
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In fact, the challenge is to avoid
having any more little birdies.
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It just went by so fast.
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It seems like just yesterday
that P.J. was tripping
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over his shoelaces and
we were wiping his nose.
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It was yesterday.
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Today's all burnt toast
running late and Dad jokes.
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"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"
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I close my eyes, take a bite.
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Grab a ride, laugh out loud.
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There it is up on the roof.
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I've been there, I survived.
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So just take my advice.
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Hang in there, baby
things are crazy.
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But I know your future's bright.
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Hang in there, baby
there's no maybe.
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Everything turns out all right.
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Sure life is up and down.
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But trust me, it comes back around.
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You're gonna love who
you turn out to be.
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Hang in there, baby.
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I left my coat downstairs.
I'll be right back.
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Would you like to come in?
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Oh no, that's okay. I'm fine, thanks.
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So it's been awhile. How have you been?
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I'm good. Thank you.
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- And you?
- Good good.
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So how about that weather?
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It's like it's not too hot, not too cold.
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- Temperate, you might say.
- Yes.
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Temperate.
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Temperate.
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Oh, Spencer's back.. Yay!
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Hey, it wasn't there.
I must have left it in the backyard.
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- I'll just..
- No no.
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You can get it next time. Out you go.
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- Bye.
- Bye, guys.
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Temperate? What..?
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Bob, would you take Toby upstairs
and put him down for his nap?
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Uh.. Up.. Up.. Upstairs?
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That's uh..
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It's kinda lonely up there, isn't it?
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Would you take Toby upstairs
and put him down for his nap?
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Hey, you know what?
Have him nap right here.
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Bob, he's six weeks old.
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Never too early to learn how to couch-nap.
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Okay, fine. I will take him upstairs.
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And you better get real
comfortable on that couch.
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- What was that about?
- What?
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Not wanting to take the baby upstairs.
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I mean, that's lazy..
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Even for you.
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What? I just didn't feel like it.
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That's all.
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No, there's something going on with you.
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Since when did you become
so interested in me?
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Since the cable went out.
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Man, this place is great.
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We should really call
your Dad and thank him.
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We can't. Part of the agreement about
the new apartment is that I never call.
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This is so awesome.
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We can eat whatever we want.
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Stay up past our bedtime.
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Dude, there is no bedtime!
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Yay, we're adults now!
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Yeah!
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Dude, I'm gonna go check out the view.
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Hey, look at this clown.
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Oh, it's an actual clown.
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You're not still afraid of clowns, are you?
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No.
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You know what the best part
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- about this place is?
- Huh?
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Our moms aren't around
to tell us what to do.
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Ah.
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It's your Mom.
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Hi, guys! Brought you some lunch.
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Lunch.. Awesome.
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Except for we don't have any plates.
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Or forks.
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Hey, why don't you go see if
that clown next door has any?
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I'm on it.
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Sweetheart, that's not nice.
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We don't call our neighbors clowns.
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Well, if I knew his
professional name I'd use it.
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So what do you think of the place?
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- It's nice!
- Yeah.
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Yeah, it's a little small maybe.
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Call it cozy.
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Kinda drafty.
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We call it inside breezy.
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That's Emmett's bed and that's mine.
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Oh, Emmett's a little messy, isn't he?
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Yeah. Well, that's Emmett.
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Honey, just because it's Emmett's apartment
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doesn't mean you should let
him walk all over you.
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If you don't like the mess, say something.
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Mom, stop worrying, okay?
It's gonna be fine.
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We're grown-ups now..
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Ugh, it was just so awkward and
I kept saying "temperate".
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And I never say temperate.
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You just said it twice.
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Does your Mom like me?
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Hey, of course she likes you.
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I mean, does your Mom like me?
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Let's keep it on your Mom.
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Hey Teddy, look, my Mom
likes you, all right?
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That's just how she is.
You know, she's reserved.
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Well, I want us to have
a good relationship.
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So tell me some stuff about her.
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Okay, um, what do you want to know?
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I want to know who is Lynn Walsh?
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What's her favorite color,
her favorite food?
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Who would play her in
the movie of her life?
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Do you know that stuff about your Mom?
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Purple, lasagna and Reese Witherspoon.
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Oh, um..
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All right, well, there's
one thing I can tell you..
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She likes orchids.
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- Orchids.
- Yeah.
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Good, okay. So what else?
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Uh, oh, she likes going to this one
fancy place downtown for high tea.
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Great. Okay, keep going.
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That's all I got.
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That's it?
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Hey look, I think it's pretty
great I came up with that.
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Okay, I just had an awesome idea.
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I'm gonna take your Mom out to tea
and we're gonna talk about orchids..
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And tea.
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That's great.
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I don't have to come to this, do I?
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I just need you to watch
the baby for a sec..
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Whoa!..
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No!
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No!
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Oh ow!
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Mmm.
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Nobody tells Mom!
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- What are we not telling Mom?
- What?
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What?
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Dude, you just yelled "nobody
tells Mom" in your sleep.
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I mean I'm in, I just want to
know what we're not telling her.
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No.
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No, I was just dreaming about
that time I dropped Charlie.
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Oh.
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I remember that day.
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That was a really good sandwich.
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Now I'm worried I'm gonna
do the same thing to Toby.
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I can't stop thinking about it.
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So that's why you didn't want
to carry him up the stairs.
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I don't want to carry him
down the stairs either.
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- What are you gonna do, Dad?
- I don't know!
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But I can't drop Toby like I did Charlie.
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- You did what?
- I did wh.. Hey!
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Hey hey, Sweetie.
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No no no no, Daddy didn't drop you.
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It was more.. It.. It..
It was more like a toss.
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And then you flew a little!
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Bad Daddy.
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But Daddy caught you.
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Lucky Daddy.
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Thanks for buying plates and forks, Emmett.
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Too bad we're having soup.
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Hey, would you mind picking that up?
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I will, just let me finish
my plate of soup first.
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- It'll take one second.
- I don't have a second.
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Soup gets cold really fast
when it's on a plate.
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How long does it take to
pick up a piece of trash?
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00:10:09,645 --> 00:10:11,980
Okay, well, wait. What's your problem?
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My problem is my roommate is a slob.
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- I'm a slob?
- You're a slob.
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- You take that back!
- I will not.
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You know, I hate when you get like this.
I'm going to my room.
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All right, well, I'm going to my room.
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You better not be looking at me.
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You better not be looking at me.
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- Stop it!
- You stop it!
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- No, you stop it! Turn around.
- You.. Okay.
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You want something to look at?
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Try this.
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Ha! See, that doesn't bother me.
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- Now you're the clown.
- No, you're the clown.
205
00:10:42,886 --> 00:10:44,216
- You're the clown.
- You're the clown.
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You don't think you're a clown?
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00:10:45,491 --> 00:10:46,506
- What me to prove that you're a clown?
- Fine!
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00:10:46,507 --> 00:10:49,327
Look at your bed!
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00:10:52,851 --> 00:10:54,927
Yes hi, um..
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00:10:54,928 --> 00:10:58,792
I'm just double-checking a
reservation for Duncan?
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00:10:58,793 --> 00:11:01,724
Yes yes, I know I called five minutes ago.
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00:11:01,725 --> 00:11:03,522
It's just..
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It's a.. It's a very important reservation.
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00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:10,430
See, it's with my boyfriend's Mom..
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Yes, the one who likes orchids.
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Oh, okay, she's here.
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00:11:17,627 --> 00:11:19,009
Okay, I have to go. I'll..
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00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:22,610
I'll call you from the car.
219
00:11:23,437 --> 00:11:25,211
- Hello!
- Hello.
220
00:11:25,212 --> 00:11:28,992
- Come in, sit.
- Oh, love to.
221
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,436
You look lovely.
222
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So do you.
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- Shall we?
- Sure.
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00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:03,955
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey, P.J. what are you doing here?
225
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,526
Oh, Emmett and I had a big fight.
226
00:12:06,527 --> 00:12:08,067
Really?
227
00:12:08,068 --> 00:12:10,750
That's terrible.
228
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:14,701
Oh, you know what? Gabe put a lock on your
bedroom door but I'll get the bolt cutters.
229
00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:18,071
No, Mom, Mom, no! Mom, I'm not moving back.
230
00:12:18,072 --> 00:12:19,712
We worked it out.
231
00:12:19,713 --> 00:12:21,244
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
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00:12:21,245 --> 00:12:23,511
I got mad because he was
messing up the place.
233
00:12:23,512 --> 00:12:25,988
He got mad because I got mad.
Then we got tired of being mad.
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He agreed to stop being a slob
and we made chocolate toast.
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Oh. Well, good for you,
standing up for yourself.
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- Mmm.
- And I'm sure Emmett
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will live up to his promise
of not being a slob.
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I mean you know what they say.
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"People change".
240
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Or is it that people never change?
241
00:12:52,316 --> 00:12:54,165
Doing great, big guy.
242
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,575
I don't know if I can do this.
243
00:12:56,576 --> 00:13:01,556
- Just keep coming.
- No, my knees are wobbling.
244
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,684
Yes!
245
00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:07,253
Okay, all right.
246
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:11,356
So you made it down with a
roast, a ham and a chicken.
247
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,426
You wanna try some side dishes?
248
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:18,267
I'm ready to carry a real kid.
249
00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:26,683
What are you looking at?
250
00:13:28,342 --> 00:13:30,693
- Hi.
- Hi!
251
00:13:30,694 --> 00:13:32,494
Hi.
252
00:13:33,608 --> 00:13:35,739
Okay uh, two questions..
253
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:38,431
Why are you carrying Gabe and..
254
00:13:38,432 --> 00:13:41,394
Why does that chicken have a face?
255
00:13:41,395 --> 00:13:43,660
Oh, you know why?
256
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We're playing a new game.
257
00:13:45,342 --> 00:13:47,581
We're playing a new game called uh..
258
00:13:47,582 --> 00:13:48,914
Chicken drop.
259
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:54,815
And he who drops the chicken must
carry the victor down the stairs.
260
00:13:56,153 --> 00:14:00,173
We're still working out the kinks.
261
00:14:08,363 --> 00:14:09,780
- May I help you?
- Hi.
262
00:14:09,781 --> 00:14:14,370
We have a reservation.
Duncan, party of two.
263
00:14:14,371 --> 00:14:18,091
Sorry, I don't have you down.
264
00:14:18,548 --> 00:14:20,891
What? But, um..
265
00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:24,364
I confirmed the reservation
and then I reconfirmed..
266
00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:27,087
And then I reconfirmed the reconfirm.
267
00:14:27,088 --> 00:14:29,861
Which is basically just a long way
of saying that I put a lot of
268
00:14:29,862 --> 00:14:35,762
work into this reservation so I
want my table and I want it now!
269
00:14:36,093 --> 00:14:39,453
Oh, here it is, "Duncan".
270
00:14:40,708 --> 00:14:42,928
Shall we?
271
00:14:50,211 --> 00:14:51,794
So who are you again?
272
00:14:51,795 --> 00:14:56,696
I'm the Window Inspector from the
Department of See-through Services.
273
00:14:56,697 --> 00:15:01,604
Okay, I've been a building manager for 25
years, and I have never heard of that.
274
00:15:01,605 --> 00:15:05,221
Well, you're hearing about it now.
275
00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:08,187
All right, let's see what we got here.
276
00:15:08,188 --> 00:15:10,330
Oh yeah.
277
00:15:10,331 --> 00:15:14,941
P87, single pane.. We see a lot of these.
278
00:15:14,942 --> 00:15:17,618
Okay, for the final part of my inspection
279
00:15:17,619 --> 00:15:19,537
I'm gonna need you to vacate the premises.
280
00:15:19,538 --> 00:15:23,716
I can't do that. I take the security
of my building very seriously.
281
00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:28,937
- I have a candy bar.
- Lock up when you're done.
282
00:15:52,272 --> 00:15:54,252
P.J.!
283
00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:09,172
Unbelievable!
284
00:16:09,173 --> 00:16:11,573
He promised.
285
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,811
Oh!
286
00:16:20,054 --> 00:16:25,634
Oh, so "the clown next door"
meant the clown next door.
287
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,702
So how's your tea?
288
00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:39,720
Actually it's a little cold.
289
00:16:39,721 --> 00:16:42,375
Well, I can fix that.
290
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,952
Um, excuse me, her tea is cold.
291
00:16:44,953 --> 00:16:46,742
Could you get her a fresh cup?
292
00:16:46,743 --> 00:16:51,243
And make sure it's hot, like piping hot.
293
00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:56,578
I hear that you like orchids.
294
00:16:56,579 --> 00:16:59,467
I used to and then my Mother passed away.
295
00:16:59,468 --> 00:17:01,500
Orchids were her favorite too.
296
00:17:01,501 --> 00:17:04,248
And now I can't even look
at one without crying.
297
00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:06,649
Oh my gosh.
298
00:17:07,224 --> 00:17:08,997
Are you okay?
299
00:17:08,998 --> 00:17:12,658
Yes. Oh, my hand fell asleep.
300
00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:14,855
Darn it.
301
00:17:18,939 --> 00:17:21,219
Thank you.
302
00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:25,699
- Ah ah!
- What, what's wrong?
303
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,739
I burned my tongue.
304
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:30,137
Ice ice! We need ice!
305
00:17:30,138 --> 00:17:32,298
Ah, ice.
306
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,756
Is that helping?
307
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,097
I'm stuck.
308
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,808
You're what?
309
00:17:41,809 --> 00:17:44,149
I'm stuck!
310
00:17:45,644 --> 00:17:50,024
You're a duck? Could you sound it out?
311
00:17:51,215 --> 00:17:54,755
How is everything over here?
312
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:05,168
Well, Mom, I'm moving back home.
313
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,773
Oh no.
314
00:18:06,774 --> 00:18:10,554
It's such sad, unexpected news.
315
00:18:12,285 --> 00:18:14,448
I came back home today and
the place was a mess.
316
00:18:14,449 --> 00:18:16,927
What was it? Unmade bed?
317
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:19,041
Potato chips everywhere?
318
00:18:19,042 --> 00:18:21,185
How do you know about the chips?
319
00:18:21,186 --> 00:18:23,406
I don't.
320
00:18:23,965 --> 00:18:28,162
Man. And after he promised me he
was going to keep the place clean.
321
00:18:28,163 --> 00:18:29,630
I'm never talking to that guy again.
322
00:18:29,631 --> 00:18:32,497
Hey, once you get over this, you
guys will be best friends again.
323
00:18:32,498 --> 00:18:37,726
I don't think so. I mean, really I
could have dealt with the mess..
324
00:18:37,727 --> 00:18:43,403
But he looked me right in the
eye and said he didn't do it.
325
00:18:43,404 --> 00:18:46,580
Best friends don't lie to each other.
326
00:18:46,581 --> 00:18:48,915
I'm gonna go put my stuff away.
327
00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:51,316
P.J., wait.
328
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,480
Emmett didn't mess up your apartment.
329
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,819
I did.
330
00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:02,740
What?
331
00:19:02,846 --> 00:19:04,982
Why would you do that?
332
00:19:04,983 --> 00:19:10,883
Because I thought you weren't
ready to live on your own. And..
333
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,089
The truth is..
334
00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:15,099
I'm the one who's not ready.
335
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,858
But, Mom, I'm 18.
336
00:19:17,859 --> 00:19:19,905
I'm an adult now.
337
00:19:19,906 --> 00:19:23,746
But you're still my little boy.
338
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:27,698
You'll always be my little boy.
339
00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:34,215
You're a good Mom.
340
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,304
I know.
341
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:41,128
A good Mom who broke into my
apartment and trashed it.
342
00:19:41,129 --> 00:19:43,229
I know.
343
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:50,647
How you feeling, Dad?
344
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,928
Good good.
345
00:19:56,438 --> 00:19:58,719
- Yeah!
- Yes, I did it!
346
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,333
- I did it!
- Nice! What were you so worried about?
347
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,934
I don't know. It was a piece of cake.
348
00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:06,759
- Where are you going?
- To get a piece of cake.
349
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,417
A guy's gotta celebrate.
350
00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:10,516
Oh hey, thank you..
351
00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:15,497
So much for getting me through this.
You real..
352
00:20:17,665 --> 00:20:19,465
No!
353
00:20:22,577 --> 00:20:24,377
No!
354
00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:44,765
Hey, honey..
355
00:20:44,766 --> 00:20:48,386
You dropped the baby
again, didn't you, Bob?
356
00:20:48,387 --> 00:20:50,307
What?
357
00:20:56,007 --> 00:20:58,922
Well, Charlie, um, I went
to tea with Spencer's Mom.
358
00:20:58,923 --> 00:21:01,167
And we had so much fun..
359
00:21:01,168 --> 00:21:03,496
We decided to keep that party going..
360
00:21:03,497 --> 00:21:06,617
In the emergency room.
361
00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:12,418
Yeah, I don't think Mrs.
Walsh will be talking to me anytime soon.
362
00:21:12,419 --> 00:21:14,939
Or to anyone.
363
00:21:15,846 --> 00:21:17,372
What..
364
00:21:17,373 --> 00:21:19,960
Dad, what are you doing?
365
00:21:19,961 --> 00:21:22,670
Taking Toby for a walk.
366
00:21:22,671 --> 00:21:25,892
That doesn't really look like a walk.
367
00:21:25,893 --> 00:21:28,217
No, it will be eventually.
368
00:21:28,218 --> 00:21:32,418
Well, don't you need the diaper bag?
369
00:21:33,773 --> 00:21:35,933
Aw, man!
370
00:21:40,689 --> 00:21:44,812
Well, you survived him for three
years, all you need is 15 more.
371
00:21:44,813 --> 00:21:47,693
Good luck, Charlie.
372
00:21:49,259 --> 00:21:52,576
Hi, Bob Duncan here with
another amazing product
373
00:21:52,624 --> 00:21:55,268
that is going to make your life easier.
374
00:21:55,269 --> 00:21:57,829
You have stairs, do you have a baby?
375
00:21:57,830 --> 00:22:02,128
Well, how many times has
this happened to you?
376
00:22:02,129 --> 00:22:04,049
Whoa!
377
00:22:04,237 --> 00:22:06,229
Well, those days are gone.
378
00:22:06,230 --> 00:22:08,734
Because the next time
your baby goes flying,
379
00:22:08,735 --> 00:22:13,306
he won't end up crying, thanks
to the new ultra-cute..
380
00:22:13,307 --> 00:22:15,647
Baby Chute!
381
00:22:17,916 --> 00:22:19,002
That's right!
382
00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:22,049
Your home is going to be
more safe and more fun!
383
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:27,166
And if you act now, we will
also throw in the ultra-cute..
384
00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:29,046
Senior Chute.
385
00:22:29,047 --> 00:22:30,907
Woo!
386
00:22:32,366 --> 00:22:35,094
So what are you waiting for?
Pick up that phone and call.
387
00:22:35,095 --> 00:22:38,486
Call right now. And if you drop the phone..
388
00:22:38,487 --> 00:22:42,087
We've got that covered too..
389
00:22:44,545 --> 00:22:47,668
Ultra-cute Industries, a division
of Famfunco International.
390
00:22:47,669 --> 00:22:52,229
Not advised for babies, seniors or phones.
391
00:22:52,253 --> 00:22:55,973
Subs created by: David Coleman.