CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, BOB?
CHARLIE'S FIRST BIG-GIRL BED.
SHE'S NOT A BABY ANYMORE.
CHARLIE, DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW BED?
NO.
OH, IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY
I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT GIVING UP THIS ROOM.
AW, YOU MISS YOUR OLD ROOM, HONEY?
ARE YOU KIDDING? THERE'S TWO FLOORS
BETWEEN ME AND THE BOYS NOW. THIS ROOM IS DEAD TO ME.
HEY, NOW THAT CHARLIE'S GOT HER OWN BED,
I CAN HAVE A SLEEPOVER, RIGHT?
OKAY, HOW DID CHARLIE'S NEW BED
TURN INTO YOU GETTING A SLEEPOVER?
LET ME WALK YOU THROUGH IT.
OH, I LOVE IT WHEN HE WALKS US THROUGH STUFF.
EVERY TIME I ASK YOU GUYS FOR A SLEEPOVER,
YOU TELL ME I CAN'T BECAUSE THERE'S A BABY IN THE HOUSE.
WELL, DAD JUST SAID SHE'S NOT A BABY ANYMORE.
AND HE WALKED US THROUGH IT
AND IT'S MY FAULT.
LOOK. IF I DON'T HAVE A SLEEPOVER SOON,
THE OTHER KIDS WILL STOP INVITING ME TO THEIRS.
ONE NIGHT OF KIDS AT OUR HOUSE
AND WE GET RID OF GABE FOR A BUNCH OF NIGHTS.
TAKE IT. IT'S A GOOD DEAL.
- FINE, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR SLEEPOVER. - YES!
COME HERE, CHARLIE. LET'S LOOK AT YOUR NEW BED.
- YOU'LL LOVE IT! - NO.
I BET YOU'RE GLAD YOU SPENT TWO HOURS PUTTING THAT TOGETHER, HUH?
( rock music playing )
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪
♪ RUNNING LATE, AND DAD SAYS ♪
♪ HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE? ♪
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪
♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪
♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I'VE SURVIVED ♪
♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪
♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪
♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ YOUR LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪
♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪
( piano music playing )
♪ IF YOU BELIEVE IT'S TRUE ♪
♪ AND IF MY HEART'S IN YOU ♪
♪ NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER FACE IT ALONE ♪
♪ AND WHEN THE RAIN LEAKS THROUGH ♪
♪ I'LL BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU ♪
♪ NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER FACE IT ♪
♪ NO, YOU'LL NEVER FACE IT ♪
♪ ALONE. ♪
- HOW WAS THAT? wheezes ) crowd cheer,
OH MY GOSH. AN ASTHMA ATTACK?VING
NO, THAT WAS THE CROWD CHEERING FOR YOU.
YOU WERE GREAT. THAT WAS ASTHMA.E END,
OH THANKS.
IT'S MY FIRST AUDITION FOR A HIGH SCHOOL SHOW,
SO I REALLY WANT IT TO GO WELL.
OH, NO WORRIES. SINCE I'LL BE PLAYING
THE PIANO FOR EVERYONE'S AUDITION,
WHEN YOU'RE SINGING I'LL MAKE SURE
THE DIRECTOR SEES ME DO THIS...
AND WHEN THE OTHER KIDS ARE AUDITIONING,
I'LL DO THIS...
WOW. ALICE, YOU MAKE A REALLY GOOD STINK FACE.
- WE LIVE NEXT TO A SEWAGE-TREATMENT PLANT. -( footsteps )
- HEY. - HEY, P.J.
- WHAT YOU GO THERE? - A CUPFUL OF BACON.
DUDE, IF YOU DON'T START EATING HEALTHIER,
YOU'RE GONNA GET FAT.
TEDDY, I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT.
NOTHING HAPPENS. NOW IF YOU'RE THROUGH HERE,
I'D LIKE TO TAKE A NAP.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO UPSTAIRS TO YOUR ROOM?
'CAUSE THIS IS MY FOURTH CUP OF BACON
AND I'M FEELING A LITTLE WOOZY.
( whirring )
I'M NOT BOTHERING YOU, AM I?
A LITTLE.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT MY SLEEPOVER FOR A SECOND?
GABE, YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME FROM MY HOUSEWORK.
OF COURSE WE CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR SLEEPOVER.
OKAY, FIRST QUESTION:
WHAT ARE YOU SERVING US FOR DINNER?
WELL, I WAS THINKING OF MAKING MY FAMOUS MEATLOAF
WITH A NICE SIDE SALAD.
PIZZA IT IS.
OKAY, NOW I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO RENT US A SCARY MOVIE.
I DON'T KNOW, GABE. I DON'T WANT YOU BOYS TO BE UP ALL NIGHT.
MOM, YOU JUST DESCRIBED THEPERFECTSLEEPOVER.
NOW THE LAST THING IS--
CHARLIE'S WRITING ON THE WALL.
- WHAT? - CHARLIE--
SHE'S WRITING ON THE WALL.
I CAN DRAW.
CHARLIE.
P.J., BREAKFAST!
( heavy footsteps )
MORNING, EVERYBODY.
I'M STARVING.
( doorway creaking )
ARE YOU STUCK AGAIN?
MOM, PUT SOME MORE BUTTER ON THE DOOR.
WE'RE OUT OF BUTTER. HE ATE IT ALL.
I TOLD YOU YOU WERE GONNA GET FAT.
( helicopter whirring )
KIDS, HELP YOUR BROTHER INTO HIS HARNESS.
THE HELICOPTER'S HERE TO TAKE HIM TO SCHOOL.
NO...
OOO!
OOH, BACON.
HI, UM, MR. BILLUPS.
I'M TEDDY DUNCAN. I'D, UM, LIKE TO SIGN UP
TO AUDITION FOR "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST."
MISS DUNCAN, IN THE THEATER
ONE MUST PRESENT ONESELF WITH CONFIDENCE,
NOT WITH "LIKE" AND "UM."
NOW REENTER AND SAY IT AGAIN
THIS TIME LIKE YOUWANTIT.
OKAY.
HELLO, MR. BILLUPS. I'M TEDDY DUNCAN.
PUT ME IN YOUR SHOW! PLEASE.
BETTER. NOW GIVE ME AN ARPEGGIO.
- ( tone plays ) - RIGHT HERE IN THE HALLWAY?
ARPEGGIO.
( sings scale )
FAIR. HOW'S YOUR DANCING?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ME SING AGAIN?
TEDDY, WITH A LOT OF HARD WORK,
YOU MIGHT HAVE A SHOT AT BEING MY BEAUTY...
- REALLY? - ...IF-- AND I MEANIF--
YOU CAN SHOW ME SOME PASSION. YOU'VE GOT TO WOW ME.
AND SO FAR I'M NOT BEING WOWED.
WELL, I'M-- I'M REALLY SORRY.
NO NO NO NO NO. GIVE ITBACKTO ME.
- GET IN MY FACE. - I'M REALLY SORRY!
TOMORROW AT THE AUDITION, YOU'VE GOT TO REALLY BRING IT.
- CONSIDER IT BRUNG! - YOU MEAN "BROUGHT."
- DON'T CORRECT ME! ( laughs ) - I LOVE IT!
THIS JUICE IS GREAT.
REALLY REALLY GREAT.
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE SUGAR AT HOME.
I-- HUH-- WONDER WHY.
YEAH. MAYBE WE SHOULD SWITCH YOU TO WATER.
NO!
WHAT AN AWESOME SLEEPOVER.
THE BEST ONE EVER.
( chuckles ) XANDER HONEY, YOU'VE BEEN HERE
10 MINUTES. PACE YOURSELF.
DOES THIS PIZZA HAVE CHEESE ON IT?
- 'CAUSE I CAN'T EAT CHEESE. - I'LL EAT IT.
LIAM, WOULD YOU LIKE A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH?
- NO THANKS. I'M ALLERGIC. - I'LL EAT IT.
WHAT MOVIE ARE WE GONNA WATCH LATER?
WELL, I WAS THINKING
"MONKEYS GO BANANAS."
IT'S A DELIGHTFUL AND FUNNY CARTOON
ABOUT MONKEYS WHO JUST GO BANANAS.
THAT'S FOR SIX-YEAR-OLDS.
NO, IT SAYS "FOUR AND UP."
( chuckles ) EXCUSE ME.
MOM, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
- SURE, YEAH. - COME ON. OKAY. LET'S GO.
( whispers ) YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE!
WHERE'S THE MOVIE I ASKED YOU TO GET, "ZOMBIE BLOOD PARTY"?
WELL, I GOT IT, BUT I'M JUST NOT SURE.
GABE, IT LOOKS VERY VIOLENT.
THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT.
NOW GET OVER THERE AND SELL IT!
COME ON. LET'S GO.
OUR OTHER CHOICE IS
"ZOMBIE BLOOD PARTY"...
AWESOME!
...WHICH IS ABOUT ZOMBIES
WHO JUST HAVE A BLOOD PARTY.
- YEAH! - ALL RIGHT!
OKAY, GUYS. WE'VE GOT THE TENT SET UP IN THE BACKYARD
SO ONCE WE'RE DONE EATING--
I GUESS THEY'RE DONE EATING.
HE MIGHT WANT A DESSERT MENU.
- WHAT YOU DOING? - WORKING OUT
SO I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL IN A HELICOPTER.
AS USUAL, I ONLY UNDERSTOOD HALF.
- HEY, P.J., WAIT WAIT WAIT. - WHAT?
YOU'VE GOT TO STRETCH OUT BEFORE YOU PUMP THE IRON.
YOU WANT TO HURT YOURSELF?
- NO. - HEY, COME HERE. COME HERE.
LET ME SHOW YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING.
DO SOME TOE-TOUCHES, ALL RIGHT? JUST DO WHAT I DO.
- YOU DO, OKAY. - HERE WE GO. READY?
ONE AND--
- ( rips ) - OW!
Both: OW! OW! OW!
NO! NO! NO! NO!
NO NO, I THINK I PULLED A HAMSTRING.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DO--
OH! DAD BUTT! OW!
( boys laughing )
- ISN'T THIS COOL? - YEAH.
LET'S STAY UP ALL NIGHT.
- I KNOW I AM. - YEAH.
THIS GROUND SEEMS KIND OF HARD.
LIAM, IT'S THE GROUND.
THAT'S HOW THE GROUND ALWAYS FEELS.
HEY, ZIP UP THE DOOR SO NO ONE ELSE CAN GET IN.
WAIT. WE'RE STILL GONNA BE ABLE TO GET MORE FOOD, RIGHT?
WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. CHARLIE HATES HER NEW BED.
( chuckles ) NOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER?
WRITING ON WALLS. WON'T SLEEP IN HER BED.
WELL, BOB, SHE'S AN OVERACHIEVER.
SHE STARTED HER TERRIBLE TWOS AT ONE AND A HALF.
( chuckles ) BRING HER OVER HERE.
AW, DADDY WANTS QUALITY TIME.
YEAH. OH! OH! OTHER SIDE. OTHER SIDE.
- THERE WE GO. THERE WE GO. - REALLY SORRY.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S BETTER. IT'S ALL BETTER NOW.
- YOU REALLY HURT YOURSELF, HUH? - YEAH, WELL,
THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO EXERCISE.
BOY, I'M GLAD THAT CHAPTER'S CLOSED.
-( boys screaming ) - WHOA, WHAT'S THAT?
OH, DID YOU TURN OFF THE AUTOMATIC SPRINKLERS?
WE HAVE AUTOMATIC SPRINKLERS?
( all yelling )
IT WAS LIKE BEING TRAPPED IN A WASHING MACHINE.
I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DROWN.
THE WHOLE NIGHT IS RUINED.
RELAX. WE CAN FIX THIS.
HOW? WE WERE GONNA SLEEP IN THE TENT,
WATCH A MOVIE IN THE TENT,
DO STUFF I COULDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT IN THE TENT.
HEY, GABE, LOOK. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO UPSTAIRS,
HAVE A SLEEPOVER IN YOUR ROOM AND THEN P.J.--
P.J. CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH IN THE BASEMENT.
YEAH YEAH, AND I'LL ORDER ANOTHER PIZZA.
TELL THEM TO PUT MORE PEPPERONI ON THIS TIME.
I COULD STILL SEE CHEESE.
UH, LIAM HONEY, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
I'M AFRAID OF UPSTAIRS.
- EXCUSE ME? - WE LIVE IN A ONE-STORY HOUSE.
I'VE NEVER BEEN UPSTAIRS AND I'M NOT GONNA START NOW.
INTERESTING NEW PHOBIA.
OKAY, SLEEPOVER'S IN THE BASEMENT.
YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF DOWNSTAIRS, ARE YOU?
NO, I'M NOT CRAZY.
HEY, HONEY, IF HE GOES DOWNSTAIRS,
- DOESN'T HE EVENTUALLY HAVE TO-- - NO NO NO NO.
ONE BATTLE AT A TIME, HONEY.
( sings scale )
OKAY, WAIT. CONFIDENCE. PASSION.
( sings scale )
( mimics scale ) ♪ THAT ONE STUNK WORSE THAN THE FIRST. ♪
( Gabe yells ) SLEEPING BAG FIGHT!
( boys yelling )
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SLEEPOVER'S BEEN MOVED TO THE BASEMENT!
- NO! NO! - ( yells )
WELL, I CAN'T SLEEP IN THERE IF YOU'RE MAKING NOISE OUT HERE.
OH. GOOD POINT.
- GET HER! - ( boys yelling )
- ( laughing ) -( monkeys shrieking )
THIS MOVIE'S HILARIOUS.
THESE MONKEYS ARE GOING ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
YUP, FOUR AND UP.
THEY GOT THAT RIGHT.
HEY, DAD, I DON'T SEE ANY DIFFERENCE YET.
- WELL, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING IT? - TWICE.
MOM, DID YOU TELL THE BOYS THEY COULD SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS?
WELL, HONEY, THEY DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO.
OKAY, WELL, I'M NOT GOING INTO P.J.'s ROOM
AND YOU GUYS ARE DOWN HERE, SO WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP?
( grunting )
- STUPID PARENTS. - Amy:Heard that.
OH. STUPID BABY MONITOR.
( ominous music playing )
DON'T GO IN THERE.
DON'T GO IN THERE!
- DON'T GO-- - ( all scream )
( zombie growling )
OH, MAN, HE SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN THERE.
Man: Remember, no one is safe.
The zombies are everywhere!
Everywhere! ( laughs evilly )
( TV turns off )
THAT WAS A GOOD MOVIE, HUH?
I DON'T THINK I'M EVER GONNA SLEEP AGAIN.
WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GET SUCH A SCARY MOVIE?
- I WANT TO GO HOME. - ME TOO.
COME ON, GUYS. YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF A BUNCH OF ZOMBIES, ARE YOU?
FINE. I'LL GO UPSTAIRS AND TELL MY PARENTS.
UPSTAIRS?
OH, MAN, I REALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH.
HEY, BUDDY. HOW'S IT GOING?
TERRIBLE. EVERYONE WANTS TO GO HOME.
- WHY? - BECAUSE THAT MOVIE YOU RENTED US
WAS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE.
MY FIRST SLEEPOVER IS A TOTAL DISASTER.
OH HONEY. RELAX, OKAY?
I'LL GO HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH THEM.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
( shouting ) OKAY, EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!
ZOMBIES AREN'T REAL! NOW GO TO BED!
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
AH. WOW, THIS IS REALLY PAYING OFF.
IT SURE IS.
HEY, P.J., DO ME A FAVOR--
- WOULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND UP? - YEAH.
( rips )
HEY, THAT'S MY FAVORITE ARM.
OH NOW. I'M TOO STRONG NOW.
P.J. P.J.
OW! OH!
OH, MY FOOT!
I-- I'M SORRY, DAD. ARE YOU OKAY?
OW! ( inhales sharply )
AH. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I SHOULD JUST GO TO BED.
BEFORE I GO TO BED, I'VE GOT TO GO CHECK ON THE BOYS.
OH, MY THIGH.
OH, MY FOOT.
OH, MY THIGH. OH, MY FOOT.
MY THIGH. MY FOOT. AH!
-( thudding footsteps ) -( Bob moaning loudly )
( groans loudly )
( whispering ) GUYS. GUYS, WAKE UP.
- WHAT IS IT? - LISTEN!
-( thudding footsteps ) -( Bob moaning loudly )
IT'S GETTING CLOSER!
- ZOMBIE! - WHAT DO WE DO?
- ATTACK! - ( boys yell )
AIM FOR THE BRAIN! AIM FOR THE BRAIN!
- YEAH! GET HIM! - WHOA WHOA WHOA! OH!
- Bob:HEY! - WAIT, GUYS! STOP! STOP!
- THAT'S MY DAD! - YOUR DAD'S A ZOMBIE?
I'M NOT A ZOMBIE.
- PROVE IT. - OW!
HE FEELS PAIN. WE'RE OKAY.
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M JUST CHECKING ON YOU GUYS.
LIKE A ZOMBIE? NOW THEY'RE GONNA
WANNA GO HOME AGAIN. THANKS A LOT.
I DON'T WANNA GO HOME. THAT WAS AWESOME.
- IT WAS? - YEAH.
- YOU WERE SO SCARED. - I WASN'T SCARED.
- YOU WERE SCARED. - NOT AS SCARED AS ME.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN, MR. DUNCAN.
NO NO NO. I'VE GOT TO GO TO BED.
DAD DAD, COME ON.
GIVE THE KIDS WHAT THEY WANT.
- ALL RIGHT. - YEAH, LET'S GO.
- OKAY. - THIS IS SO COOL.
( deep voice ) MUST KILL.
DAD DAD DAD, ZOMBIES DON'T SPEAK.
SORRY. UH...
- ( growling ) - ( boys yelling )
( coos )
GOOD MORNING, CHARLIE.
( chuckles ) LOOK AT YOU.
ARE YOU AN ARTIST? HUH?
DID YOU PAINT A PICTURE SOMEWHERE?
OH. WELL, THE WALLS LOOK OKAY.
OH MY GOSH! I'M LATE FOR MY AUDITION!
UH-OH.
- ( piano music plays ) - Billups:THANK YOU.
ALICE, IS THAT EVERYONE?
OH NO, TEDDY DUNCAN ISN'T HERE YET.
NO NO NO. SORRY. I'M COMING. I'M HERE.
- ( panting )THERE. - TEDDY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
I OVERSLEPT.
OKAY.
HI.
I'M GOING TO BE SINGING
"YOU'LL NEVER FACE IT ALONE." HIT IT.
( piano music playing )
♪ IF YOU BELIEVE IT'S TRUE ♪
♪ AND IF MY HEART'S IN YOU ♪
♪ NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER FACE IT ALONE... ♪
STOP STOP. WHAT WAS THAT?
I WAS AUDITIONING.
FOR WHAT, BEAUTY OR THE BEAST?
WELL, BEAUTY OF COURSE. WHY WOULD I BE AUDITIONING FOR THE BEAST?
I MEAN, THAT'S SOMETHING-- THAT'S BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A BEAST.
WHY DO YOU HAVE SCRIBBLES ALL OVER YOUR FACE?
ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP
AND WHAT'S INSIDE IS WHAT'S TRULY IMPORTANT?
- WELL, ACTUALLY-- - BECAUSE IF YOU ARE,
- I LOVE IT. - THEN THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.
WHOA.
HEY, CHARLIE, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
NO MORE BIG-GIRL BED.
YES, AND SINCE MOMMY INSISTED WE'D NEVER NEED THE CRIB AGAIN,
DADDY GETS TO GO BUY A NEW ONE.
DADDY MIGHT BE SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED TOO.
GREAT NEWS, YOU GUYS!
I GOT INVITED TO THREE SLEEPOVERS TODAY!
AND, DAD, YOU GOT INVITED TO TWO OF THEM.
WHAT? I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANY SLEEPOVER.
DAD DAD, WE'RE A PACKAGE DEAL. YOU'RE GOING.
( sighs )
( groaning )
THAT'S IT. NOW SAVE THAT FOR TONIGHT.
Well, Charlie,
you're going back to your crib.
And I'm going places too--
I got the lead in the school musical.
I'm gonna be the best Beast they've ever had.
Here's some really big news.
I'm eating healthy now,
because I decided I like myself just the way I am.
Yeah, she's not interested.
One more thing: if you ever draw on my face again...
( chuckles ) ...good luck, Charlie.
- ( video game noises ) -( thudding footsteps, loud moan )
- WHAT'S THAT NOISE? - IS THAT A ZOMBIE?
DAD, THAT'S GETTING OLD!
WHAT'S GETTING OLD?
IF-- IF YOU'RE THERE, THEN WHO'S--
( groaning )
- ( boys screaming ) - Bob: WHOA!
-( whimsical music playing ) -( monkeys screeching )
( groaning laugh )
( theme music plays )