Previously on The Vampire Diaries
What the hell did you do?
I can't protect Mystic Falls on my own,
so I made some friends who could help.
Who are these friends?
Alaric's babies are the future of the coven.
They're inside of you.
Oh, my God...
This is Josie,
in honor of their mother.
This is Elizabeth,
in honor of your mother.
Meet Rayna Cruz.
Once you've been marked by her sword,
she never stops hunting you.
You don't stand a chance against her, none of us do!
We'll keep moving, just like we did before.
No!
Stefan...
I'll see you, brother.
I have to keep moving, if I want to stay ahead of her.
Why did you hand over that sword, Damon?
I will fix this.
I promise you.
I'm gonna hold you to that.
Wish I could be there.
I just wish it didn't always have to be you.
I love you.
All right, girls.
You know what this is?
It's a bar.
And this is the last time you're gonna be in one of these
until you are 21.
Sorry, we're closed and...
I don't think so.
We're not staying.
We just got here, and...
then I realized I didn't actually know
where the person I'm looking for lived.
Klaus Mikaelson?
Honey, hate to say this, but you've wasted a trip.
Look... I know that he comes here.
Okay? My name's Caroline Forbes.
He'll know me.
I don't care who you are.
Klaus Mikaelson is gone.
Gone?
Gone where?
I mean nobody's seen or heard from that man in three years.
South Georgia, I think.
I just ditched my car and passed Grantville off the I-85.
Okay. You're about to come upon Highway 27. Take it north.
Eventually, you'll connect with the I-20
and want to take that west.
And where is this leading me, exactly?
A safe house that's been imbued with a magical disruption spell.
Even the strongest magic can't penetrate its walls,
which means Rayna Cruz's sword cannot track you there.
Did you find 27 yet?
No, I just pulled over at a Quik-Stop
in the middle of nowhere.
Tell me you're joking.
My cell phone's almost dead.
I need a charger.
Stefan, that's a mistake. Get back in your car.
Stefan, you can't stop moving, ever.
Stefan?
Are you there?
Hello?
I need to buy a charger for my phone.
Okay, we've got the brick charger...
the adapter for your car...
this one's solar power-- pretty neat.
That's fine. How much?
That'll be $22.50.
Valerie said she just lost cell reception with Stefan.
As if ruining his life wasn't enough for me to worry about,
now we get to wonder when you and Valerie exchanged numbers.
You told Stefan you would find a way
to get him off the hook with Rayna
and I told Caroline I'd make sure you didn't screw it up.
So we both have a lot riding on this.
Good.
You made it.
Where the hell are we?
This is the Armory,
home to a society of supernatural artifact collectors.
We keep them under lock and key
so they don't fall into the wrong hands.
The Armory...
Never heard of it.
- You? - No.
Yeah, that's kind of the point.
They've taken great care
to keep themselves out of history as we know it.
And for three easy payments of $19.99,
we, too, can be members.
How about we just cut to the part
where they can save my brother?
Where's the cavalry, man?
They're out on their own supernatural treasure hunt.
But, lucky you, they've recruited me to nab Rayna Cruz.
Ever since that annoying Phoenix Stone turned up in Mystic Falls,
she's been the top priority.
They actually consider her one of the...
supernatural wonders of the world.
And why do you care what they want?
They have something I want.
Good morning.
When the Armory kidnapped me four months ago,
it wasn't to torture me.
A woman named Alex made me an offer.
Who the hell are you?
Someone who needs your help.
And in return can provide you with information you desperately want.
If it's all the same,
I'd rather just be cut loose and be on my way.
Be my guest.
Just... figured you'd want to know who your family was,
orphan and all.
How do you know about my family?
Because as obnoxious as it sounds,
we like to think we know everything.
Needless to say, I've been working for the Armory ever since.
Look, all that we need to do is get Stefan here,
and Rayna will have no choice but to follow.
A rat to the cheese. We spring the trap,
and the Armory keeps her under lock and key forever after.
Everyone gets on with their lives.
What do you say?
I'll have to discuss this with my counsel.
Okay.
We're in.
Mmm, must be time for another checkup.
Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about.
What's going on?
I'm moving to Dallas.
I'm leaving today.
What?
No, Ric, you still need a house
and a nanny
- and the right school district. - I don't care.
After I saw their little faces yesterday, everything changed.
Is this about that psycho huntress?
Because you can rest assured
she is very far away from here,
pursuing my equally far away from here boyfriend.
No. It is not about her.
Okay?
It's about Jo.
And the promise I made to her
to leave town after we got married.
And we know how that turned out, okay?
So I'm not making that mistake twice.
And certainly not with my kids.
Do you know how hard it is to travel with one newborn,
let alone two?
Two car seats,
two feeding schedules,
crying in surround sound,
not to mention the actual driving part.
I know. And stopping every 90 minutes. I get it.
Which is why I've hired a nurse to come with me.
A nurse? Who?
Frankie with the heart murmur?
Or Jarica, the perpetual boyfriend texter?
Jarica.
Come on.
Do you have a better idea?
Me.
I'm the better idea.
Uh, but you just... got through major surgery.
You just had a C-section.
And I'm all healed up.
That is the one and only perk of a vampire pregnancy.
I can either sit here, alone,
freaking out that my boyfriend is somewhere
in this country trying to outrun a huntress
who will stop at nothing to kill him,
or I can be useful.
It's up to you.
Welcome to New Orleans,
old friend.
Klaus.
As I live and breathe.
Stefan Salvatore
in the Crescent City.
This ought to be very good
or entertainingly bad.
I'm just in town for a little R & R.
Hate to disappoint.
So...
how are Elijah and, uh,
whoever else you've brought back from the dead?
Oh, you know the Mikaelsons.
Never a dull moment.
So, of all the gin joints, you pick ours--
four walls invulnerable to the magic of those pesky locator spells.
Bit of a coincidence, isn't it?
Damon's looking for me,
and I don't want to be found.
I figure you, of all people, can relate to family drama.
Sylvia,
this is an old friend. Please keep his cup brimming.
Cute old friend.
Where have you been hiding him?
Quaint little place called Mystic Falls.
Home of the mining fires that prompted a town-wide evacuation.
It was very noble of you
to stand up for the human faction as you did,
in such uncharacteristically sweeping, dramatic fashion.
I did have some help.
How is Caroline?
Sylvia, I think we're gonna need another round.
What do you mean you don't know where Rayna is?
She's wherever Stefan is.
No one knows where he is either.
He's not taking anyone's calls,
and I can't triangulate his cell phone without at least knowing...
What? Sorry, I'm in a literal bell jar of baby noises.
I think they need to eat. Are you hungry?
No. Yes, uh, we should stop.
Caroline.
Hello?
I'm here.
What's the plan?
If I can narrow the search, we have a chance,
but until I know the general vicinity of either of them,
I have nothing to track.
I may be able to help you with that.
Let me guess.
Valerie's here to save the day.
Let me call you back.
This is the highway system
between Grantville and New Orleans.
Stefan's on his way there now,
and Rayna is no doubt breathing down his neck.
Tell me you at least appreciate the irony.
I need your help because there's no sheriff's department left.
The reason there's no sheriff's department
is because you killed all the sheriffs.
Then, yes, I do appreciate the irony.
Just as I hope you appreciate
that I helped Caroline deliver her babies
and that I am here because I am desperate to keep Stefan alive.
I suppose if she stole a car or something,
I could get a bead on her.
Thank you.
I thought you hated rubbish food.
I do.
Maybe it'll kill me.
Beau, Lily, Oscar, Malcolm--
our family couldn't survive in this new world.
And now, once again, the two of us have to worry
about a psychotic huntress,
who will kill any vampire in her sight.
Maybe this will be a quick sodium-laden means to my end.
Is this really who I'm stuck traveling cross-country with?
We are running for our lives.
What could I possibly have to be happy about?
Us, Mary Lou.
Starting over. Together.
Away from all this.
New horizons, new everything.
Here.
Am I supposed to know what that is?
It's a ring, made from candy.
It's not even a diamond.
But what it is, is good enough.
We're all we have left.
Let's see what else is out there together.
I suppose there's no one
I'd rather explore this dreadful world with.
Poor thing.
So desperate to embrace the modern world,
but so unable to grasp the concept of cell phone tracking.
Bag 'em up and let's go home.
Where's Stefan?
Safe. Though I suppose that could mean
anywhere outside of your vicinity.
You know he has a girlfriend, right?
Blonde, sweet, cute as a button.
You're not actually her.
I'm hanging up now.
You don't want to do that.
I have a way to take down Rayna,
but it requires him to come to me.
Well, that might take a while.
- He's in New Orleans. - Doubtful.
We only go to New Orleans for crappy booze and Klaus blood.
There's a bar there.
The St. James Infirmary.
It's considered a safe house for supernatural travelers.
Oscar came upon it when he was looking for the Phoenix Stone.
Fine. Just tell him to pack it up, huff it back to Virginia
to a pile of bricks called the Armory.
- Did you just say the Armory? - Yes, I did.
As a matter of fact, I've said that word more times today
- than I have in my entire life. - Get out of there, Damon.
- Now. - Why?
The Armory is a black hole of lies.
They once tricked us into using Beau as bait
in exactly the same fashion they'll use Stefan.
And they were more than happy to let Rayna bury her sword in
his heart as long as they could put her in one of their cages.
I promise you, they will do the same to Stefan.
Well, I don't have another option at the moment, Valerie.
Yeah, well, whose fault is that?
Look, the best way you can help Stefan
is to keep your mouth shut and stop making things worse.
So this faceless so-called Armory
claims to know where you come from?
I find Rayna Cruz, they fill in the blanks.
And if you have to lie or hurt your friends
or screw anyone over in the process,
so be it, right?
I was sent to a workhouse at the age of four,
with a concept of family so limited
that I actually convinced myself
that an Italian line cook was my father.
By 14, I was out in the streets.
By 27, I was dead.
That is it, that is the sum total of my life as a human.
I know how to comfort myself, live off scraps,
and catch disease.
The rest-- you know, love, relationships, family--
these are things I know nothing about.
This is what the Armory can provide me.
So will I do whatever it takes for answers?
In a heartbeat.
Flag on the play.
Like an idiot, Stefan didn't renew the minutes on his cell phone.
We'll call you when we connect.
Come on, Bon. I want to beat traffic.
You know where he is.
Yeah, I do, Enzo.
I also know that you allowed me to believe Elena was dead
so I'd help you kill Rayna,
who's already escaped your custody once.
Then you tricked me into saving your ass,
which resulted in Rayna getting this stupid sword,
and now I have Stefan's 1863 siphon crush
telling me that you all are shady people.
So Bon-Bon here and I are gonna go cook up a Plan B.
But thanks anyway...
What are you doing?
Lockwood?
Found him where you left him, in a pool of his own blood.
Poor bloke's been in a coma ever since.
Why the hell is he here?
He's an associate of ours, actually.
We take care of our own.
That's why you have Elena.
Cookie for you.
No, it turns out Tyler
made contact with the Armory during his hunter sojourns.
So when Matt Donovan needed help
with the vampire problem in Mystic Falls,
he called Tyler, who then called the Armory,
thinking they'd put me away for good.
Little did he know...
they wanted me to work for them instead.
So here we all are.
In a cell.
That's how you take care of people?
Oh, don't worry about Tyler.
We're simply keeping him alive
until his werewolf transformation stirs him awake
and heals him up.
Shouldn't be long now.
I'm sorry... what?
Oh, did I forget to mention that tonight's a full moon?
Well, look, you're welcome to watch the show with me,
on this side of the glass,
just give me Stefan's location.
Thanks...
but you know I'm a sucker for the front row.
Suit yourself.
We'll see how long that lasts.
Damon put Tyler in a coma.
Bit of a hallucination mix-up
that resulted in Damon introducing Tyler's skull
to the pavement several times.
If the Armory hadn't found him, he'd be a vegetable.
Or dead.
Ice?
You knock me out, then offer me ice--
what's wrong with you?
Where's Damon?
I locked him in a room with Tyler, on a full moon.
Yes, you heard that right.
Your bestie. Your sidekick.
Your humanity project.
The man who spins your moral compass in a tizzy.
If he doesn't give over Stefan's location by the wolfing hour,
he's a dead man.
Phesmatos ossox.
What did you do to me?
Why won't my magic work?
I injected you with one of the Armory's toys.
You're in magical time out.
Feel free to dispense with the menacing posture.
Damon?
Hope I didn't wake you.
Oh, what the hell is going on?
Good news, tween wolf.
You're about to get your sweet revenge on me.
What kind of a diner runs out of ketchup?
I just got them to stop crying.
Ooh, good.
Now we can talk about nannies.
Okay,
obviously I thought we'd have more time,
so none of them are perfect,
but I rated them out of 100, based on their age,
GPA and experience.
You know, I figured you'd want someone intelligent
but not overly ambitious.
No, no, no, no, no.
Okay, look, I-I'm gonna take Elizabeth for a little walk.
Do you mind watching Josie?
Sorry.
Ooh, why are you crying?
You have a fresh diaper and a full belly.
And you have no idea how bad things can actually get.
Those aren't gonna stop me, Damon.
The second I turn, you're as good as dead.
You don't think I know that, Copernicus?
Once bitten, twice shy.
It's taking me every ounce of willpower I have
not to send you to doggie heaven right now.
But you're not.
Why?
Because up until yesterday, I thought Elena was dead.
Turns out, she's not.
And if she were?
Then what?
You'd kill me
because you have no one else to be accountable to?
That should knock your ass out till the sun comes up.
Good boy.
Off to dream of squirrels and Milk Bones.
Oh, that's not good.
Open it!
Sorry. Members only, luv.
What happened to you?
When did you become this person?
"This person"?
What, as opposed to the other person you were so fond of?
At least that person knew what he wanted,
and fought for it without steamrolling over everybody else.
Where did that get me?
Lily's dead, I have nowhere to live, no town to call home.
The Enzo you knew
didn't get what he wanted; this one will.
And you want your family.
A family who dropped you at a work house,
never came looking for you,
who wiped all trace of their existence from your life.
You're willing to make an enemy
out of everyone... for them?!
When I told you Damon was in trouble,
you leapt to your feet,
tried to stop me.
Didn't matter what he'd done, how he hurt Tyler.
Your first instinct was to help him.
That's what I want.
Good.
I hope you find it.
Easy, pal.
Breathe. Good boy.
These sedatives... are messing with me.
They're slowing your transition. Pick up, Stefan.
Really not a good time.
Feeling's mutual, brother.
Listen, you wouldn't happen to be at that place
Valerie sent you to, would you?
Why?
There's a chance I'm gonna have to tango with a werewolf tonight,
and it'd suck a lot less if I knew there was an antidote en route.
What are you talking about?
Just answer the question, Stefan!
I'll see what I can do.
So, where were we?
Siphon babies,
vampire witch heretics...
Sounds like you've been having quite a lot of fun
since last our paths crossed.
Well, to be clear, Caroline practically died in childbirth.
And she's not actually their mother.
It just sort of happened.
So she carried two lives in her womb,
she gave birth to them,
and now she plans to turn those cooing little faces over to Alaric
without so much as a hiccup of hesitation.
Yeah, you are probably right.
That does sound like the Caroline I remember.
If you care for her as you say you do,
why aren't you with her now?
Like I said, family drama.
Speaking of, um...
Damon's found himself in a bit of a werewolf predicament.
I know I said he was a pain in the ass,
but is there any chance you'd be willing to spare some blood?
Just in case things go south.
That...
is the mark of the Phoenix Sword.
You've seen this before?
Tell me you have not been careless enough
to make an enemy of Rayna Cruz.
Why do you think I'm here, Klaus?
So you came here to hide,
to seek refuge in my town,
to enjoy the perks of my hospitality
in the city where my family sleeps,
and all the while,
you lure in a vicious hound with your scent.
She can't find me in this bar.
Well, maybe not under this roof,
but you are aware that she was born in New Orleans,
terrorized the Quarter for years,
thrust her blade through the heart of some of my best men,
on the steps of St. Anne's Church.
She will pursue you until your paranoia and despair
far outweigh your desire to live.
Here, elsewhere, or in Hell, she will find you.
If you know how to outrun her, tell me what to do, Klaus!
I'll tell you what you don't do.
You do not draw a huntress to a town full of vampires.
You do not drink my bourbon
whilst lying to my face,
and you do not dare ask me favors ever again.
Is that clear, old friend?
Get out.
If I leave, she'll kill me.
And if you stay, I will.
Get... out.
Get out!
Hello, luv.
Who is this?
Ouch.
Has it really been that long?
Klaus.
I know that sound all too well.
You might try picking her up.
Hold on.
How am I talking to you right now?
Where is Stefan?
By the way, what's your stance on hand-me-downs?
We have a chest that was once owned by Louis XV.
It's being wasted on my daughter's outgrown onesies.
- Any interest? - One--
these babies aren't mine. They're Ric's...
Yes. That's been made abundantly clear to me by your boyfriend.
Two-- I didn't call you.
I called Stefan-- yes,
my boyfriend-- who's currently running for his life
while I sit here playing worst-case scenario.
Except these babies, that aren't mine,
won't stop crying, and now, this entire diner hates me.
So if you could refrain from gloating in the face of my misery,
that would be very much appreciated.
Stefan will be fine.
How do you know?
Because
I will ensure it.
So, here you are,
in college, building a life for yourself.
Plans, a future, things you want.
Klaus, I'm not doing this with you.
I take it, children were not involved in those plans.
No, they weren't.
Luckily, these aren't mine.
So you've mentioned.
You know,
my family challenges the bounds of my sanity.
They drive me to do unspeakable things.
All the while, finding fresh
and inventive ways to torture me.
But, as it turns out,
my family is what makes me truly happy.
It's not a crime to love what you cannot explain.
I was sorry
to hear about your mother, Caroline.
I'm sure she would have loved to see you with the little ones.
Oh, my God, she's finally sleeping.
Well, then, we mustn't wake her.
Good-bye, Caroline.
Why don't you just save your ass
and tell these people where Stefan is.
'Cause Stefan has a bad habit of taking bullets aimed at me.
And I thought I'd give him the day off.
Then maybe this is for the best,
'cause I'm gonna turn and tear your throat out.
That way, nobody will ever have
to take a bullet for you again.
Oh, my God. Damon!
Bonnie, open the door.
Get out of here, Bonnie!
- It won't open! - You're a witch.
- Blink really hard. - I can't.
Enzo gave me something that disabled my magic.
Enzo opened it up with the palm of his hand.
You gotta get him down here right now.
- It's not gonna happen. - Why the hell not?
Tyler is one loose vertebrae away from making me his dinner,
so figure this out,
please.
No pressure.
Bonnie.
This is what happens when you make enemies, Enzo.
For the record, I would have made a better friend.
Hello?
Hey, I lost my phone.
I had to pick up a burner.
Stefan, thank God.
Have you made it to New Orleans?
Let's just say I wore out my welcome.
I'm back on the road, and in a shocking turn of events,
Damon needs my help.
What are you talking about?
Worry about yourself. You need to go back.
Dispatch just put an APB out
on a speeding motorcyclist traveling east on Highway 90.
Woman, meets Rayna's description,
driving like a maniac.
Did you hear that? Avoid 90.
Yeah, a little late for that.
Where are you?
Traveling east on 90.
I'll call you later.
What are you doing here?
The right thing, I hope.
She's dead for now.
We need to go.
We need to grab her before she comes back to life.
Stefan.
You are trespassing on dangerous ground.
Trust me.
This is werewolf territory.
Let's go.
Easy, boy.
I do not want to kill you.
Why, 'cause Elena will dump your ass?
And it would be a waste of a perfectly good I.V. stand.
If it's not me, it's going to be somebody else, Damon.
There's no way in hell you're lasting 60 years
without royally screwing up.
Bonnie should be here any second.
That's what I'm talking about.
You open that door and I'll kill her, too.
There's always going to be something else.
Your friends...
my friends...
they'll keeping risking their lives trying to save you
until they're all dead.
Looks like you could use a hand.
Bonnie, wait, don't.
- I need to get you out of there. - Bonnie, listen.
If you open that door, Tyler will kill you, too.
I'm not going to let you die in there.
This is my mess.
Go.
Go!
Tyler!
Tyler, stop!
Bonnie...
get the hell out of here.
No.
Get out of here...
or I will kill you.
Okay. You're okay.
Okay. There you go.
You're not healing.
Why aren't you healing?
Bonnie!
Bon!
Found that laying around and thought you might need it.
Guess that's the last time we let you watch the house.
Actually, it's the last-last time for anything.
I'm through working for free.
Catch the huntress yourself.
You said you wanted to know where you came from.
We just needed you to prove it.
For four months?
Four months of helping you.
Four months of learning your mission statements,
helping you track this woman with fake postcards and lies,
scouring the globe.
Four months that brought me nothing!
No answers.
No family.
Consider our deal terminated.
Your family is here, Lorenzo.
Your father founded the Armory.
My father?
This estate is where he lived and died.
What he left behind is your birthright.
What he left behind was me.
Believe me, I know the feeling.
Until Tyler Lockwood called us,
I didn't know I had any family left either.
What are you talking about?
My name is Alexandria St. John.
I'm your family, Lorenzo.
The girls are asleep.
Furniture is en route,
electricity will be on by tomorrow morning,
and I am starving.
Mm, did you get a chance to look over the list of nannies?
I did. I, um, I set up an interview
with the one that you rated at, uh, 89.75%.
Tracy. Good, she was my first choice, too.
And I can compel her to lower her fee, if you want.
No, I-I don't think that will be necessary.
I mean, really between scoring this house
and actually having the babies,
you've gone above and beyond.
Well, then I guess my work here is done.
I think I'll stay the night,
if that's okay with you.
Just to make sure that the electrician
doesn't burn down the house tomorrow morning.
Yeah, sure.
You can stay as long as you want.
Bon.
Fine. Be that way.
Ignore me.
By the way, once whatever crap Enzo gave you
is out of your system and magic works on you again,
I'm going to give you my blood and heal you.
Okay?
But in the meantime, there's something I want you to know.
You are a terrible friend.
You know that?
Do you have any idea what I'd have to go through
if you'd have died today, huh?
Years of guilt.
Crippling, self-loathing guilt.
Not to mention the resentment I'd feel
if I was forced to break in a new drinking buddy.
You're not supposed to die for me, Bon.
Neither is my brother.
But no matter what I say
or how hard I try and drill it into your skulls,
you're not going to stop trying.
Which is why I have to take myself out of the equation.
It all ends tomorrow.
You'll never have to worry about me again.
There's a train station about a mile away.
You can just drop me off there.
Do you love her?
Caroline?
Why?
Do you still have feelings for her?
I have far too many complicated women in my life already.
Caroline is the reason the tip of Rayna's blade
ended up in your flesh, isn't she?
You were protecting her.
No.
I was protecting Damon.
Then let her go, Stefan.
Let her go.
Or spend an eternity
sacrificing everything good you have with her for your brother.
Believe me, I've spent an eternity
watching Elijah do the same for me.
You missed the exit.
You're not going to the train station.
What?
I have to get out of here.
We're going to see a witch.
I may have something that can help you
with your Rayna Cruz problem.