1 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:30,715 That's Laura's car. 2 00:02:32,290 --> 00:02:34,155 - Laura! - You lost? 3 00:02:34,290 --> 00:02:36,918 - Hi, sweetie! - Yeah. How do I get back to New York? 4 00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:39,891 - Hey. Still driving the booger. - Don't move. I'm getting in. 5 00:02:40,024 --> 00:02:42,390 - Nice car, sweetie. - Sweetheart... 6 00:02:43,158 --> 00:02:46,321 - Trip... no, no. - It's OK, I got it. 7 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,823 I got it, I got it. 8 00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:50,058 Don't fall! 9 00:02:50,191 --> 00:02:51,522 Hi, mama! 10 00:02:52,525 --> 00:02:55,722 Oh, my God! Had to get out of there. 11 00:02:55,859 --> 00:02:59,022 Desperate situation. All right. Truth. 12 00:02:59,959 --> 00:03:02,587 Have I gotten obese? Tell me the truth. 13 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:07,957 - Are we gonna start that already? - Just tell me the truth. 14 00:03:08,092 --> 00:03:11,755 - You can't lie for shit. - You look revolting, head to toe. 15 00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:14,589 Good. 'Cause you've never looked worse in your life. 16 00:03:15,526 --> 00:03:16,754 Oh, babe. 17 00:03:16,893 --> 00:03:18,326 Trip. 18 00:03:19,093 --> 00:03:21,027 You always know what to say. 19 00:03:22,893 --> 00:03:26,727 I think this occasion calls for a drink. 20 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,858 Yeah. Yeah, a couple. 21 00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:34,386 - Go. Go. - Wanna race? 22 00:03:34,527 --> 00:03:35,585 I'll race you. 23 00:03:43,961 --> 00:03:45,986 Tom, man. The guy just keeps winning. 24 00:03:46,127 --> 00:03:48,152 Honey, you didn't do so bad. 25 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:51,286 Sweetie... Sweetie, the day we met was the best day of my life. 26 00:03:51,428 --> 00:03:52,827 It was nighttime, honey. 27 00:03:52,962 --> 00:03:57,365 It was 2:00am, September 20th, 1 999 is what it was. 28 00:03:57,496 --> 00:03:58,895 I believe we were at the Yankee Doodle. 29 00:03:59,028 --> 00:04:00,495 And I asked if I could borrow your ketchup. 30 00:04:00,629 --> 00:04:02,426 And I saw that you already had a bottle on your table. 31 00:04:02,562 --> 00:04:05,087 I know. It was a bold-faced lie, but I was desperate to meet you. 32 00:04:05,229 --> 00:04:07,322 When are you ladies gonna get married already? 33 00:04:07,462 --> 00:04:09,862 - October? - May... be October. 34 00:04:10,863 --> 00:04:12,296 Maybe October. 35 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:31,698 - You're here! - We're here! 36 00:04:33,597 --> 00:04:34,757 Finally! 37 00:04:34,897 --> 00:04:35,864 How's my hair? 38 00:04:35,997 --> 00:04:36,986 - Revolting. - Makeup? 39 00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,358 - Trashy. - Clothes? 40 00:04:38,498 --> 00:04:39,829 Tacky choice. 41 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,996 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 42 00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:51,324 All right, all right, all right, we'll have enough time tonight 43 00:04:51,464 --> 00:04:53,523 to kiss your butt at the rehearsal dinner. 44 00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:55,029 - Lo. - Li. 45 00:04:55,165 --> 00:04:56,928 - Weez. - Trip. 46 00:05:25,132 --> 00:05:26,827 Lila. 47 00:06:00,535 --> 00:06:01,763 Lila. 48 00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:06,963 Lila Hayes is... 49 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,393 ...not my friend. 50 00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:13,702 Lila Hayes is my sister. 51 00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:34,495 Lila and I have shared many things: 52 00:06:34,637 --> 00:06:38,596 Rooms, clothes, study notes, boyfriends... 53 00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:51,403 Lila Hayes is... 54 00:06:54,737 --> 00:06:56,967 ...the luckiest girl in the world. 55 00:06:57,104 --> 00:06:58,366 She has... 56 00:07:00,137 --> 00:07:05,234 ...beauty, intelligence, a killer backhand, 57 00:07:06,304 --> 00:07:07,896 boobs I would kill for. 58 00:07:09,605 --> 00:07:11,800 She's graced with all of these things. 59 00:07:15,672 --> 00:07:17,833 And she's brought us all here tonight... 60 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,137 ...to celebrate... 61 00:07:23,272 --> 00:07:26,173 ...her greatest accomplishment... 62 00:07:31,839 --> 00:07:33,363 ...love. 63 00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:38,934 Trip, I'm standing right here. 64 00:07:39,073 --> 00:07:40,267 It's perfume. 65 00:07:40,406 --> 00:07:42,897 Can you just try not to spray it in my nose? 66 00:07:44,306 --> 00:07:47,366 I am so screwed for my toast. I haven't written a thing. 67 00:07:47,507 --> 00:07:49,702 You always say that and then you give the best one. 68 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,469 You have an unfair advantage, Miss Published Writer. 69 00:07:53,608 --> 00:07:56,839 But, tonight you've got competition. 70 00:07:56,974 --> 00:07:58,566 Your signature rhyming ode? 71 00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:01,336 Damn right. Guaranteed to bring down the house. 72 00:08:01,841 --> 00:08:03,103 Nice. 73 00:08:04,242 --> 00:08:05,675 Hey, you OK? 74 00:08:05,808 --> 00:08:08,368 Why does everyone keep asking me that? 75 00:08:08,508 --> 00:08:09,998 Can I borrow...? 76 00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:12,803 Yeah, I wonder why people keep asking you that. 77 00:08:14,242 --> 00:08:16,142 I'm sorry. It was just... 78 00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:18,300 - ...a really long drive. - Cut the bullshit, Lo. 79 00:08:18,442 --> 00:08:20,740 When was the last time you saw him? 80 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,741 - Saw who? - Tom. 81 00:08:22,876 --> 00:08:25,208 When was the last time you saw Tom? 82 00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:28,107 - I don't know. - You don't know? 83 00:08:28,243 --> 00:08:30,211 - You dated the man for four years. - Five. 84 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,972 - Five. - But you guys have stayed close. 85 00:08:34,109 --> 00:08:36,634 Yeah, we are. I mean, we were. 86 00:08:36,776 --> 00:08:38,243 Well, when? 87 00:08:40,077 --> 00:08:42,705 Honestly, I don't remember. 88 00:08:42,843 --> 00:08:47,007 - Before he proposed? - Around then, I guess. 89 00:08:47,143 --> 00:08:49,043 You guess? 90 00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:54,475 Fine, it was the day before. 91 00:08:54,611 --> 00:08:57,546 That's sweet. He called to tell you first? 92 00:08:57,677 --> 00:08:58,974 No. 93 00:08:59,111 --> 00:09:00,806 - But you spoke with him? - Yeah. 94 00:09:00,944 --> 00:09:03,504 - Trip, just back off. - So you knew before Lila? 95 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:07,410 - Actually, he didn't mention it. - He didn't mention it? 96 00:09:07,545 --> 00:09:09,012 So when did you hear? 97 00:09:09,144 --> 00:09:13,046 When Lila called to ask me to be her maid of honor. 98 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,668 And then? 99 00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:18,308 And then... nothing. 100 00:09:19,178 --> 00:09:20,236 Nothing? 101 00:09:21,045 --> 00:09:24,537 No. We haven't spoken since. 102 00:09:26,279 --> 00:09:27,746 Sweetie... 103 00:09:29,646 --> 00:09:33,343 Guys, I'm fine. Really. 104 00:09:33,479 --> 00:09:37,313 Really. I couldn't be happier for them. 105 00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:39,277 OK. 106 00:10:26,848 --> 00:10:28,372 Thank you. 107 00:11:10,217 --> 00:11:11,809 Let's go, ladies. 108 00:11:24,452 --> 00:11:27,216 - There you are! - Hey. 109 00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:32,881 - Well, are you coming? - It's just... 110 00:11:33,019 --> 00:11:36,580 Well? You know I can't do this without you. 111 00:11:36,719 --> 00:11:38,653 Of course I'm coming. 112 00:11:42,852 --> 00:11:44,479 OK. 113 00:11:49,753 --> 00:11:50,845 Guys, we all look good. 114 00:11:50,987 --> 00:11:54,514 - Oh, shit! Shit! Look! - What? 115 00:11:54,653 --> 00:11:56,746 - You know what? I have something... - Just take them off. 116 00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:59,082 - I can't take them off. - Yes, you can. Just take them off. 117 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,245 I've got red nail polish. 118 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,820 It might work, it might work... 119 00:12:02,953 --> 00:12:06,389 - Let's see... - You don't even notice it. 120 00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:08,716 It's kind of sexy. It looks fine. Yeah, yeah. 121 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,344 - It's totally fine. - It looks great. 122 00:12:10,487 --> 00:12:11,715 They're just gonna see your pretty little face. 123 00:12:11,854 --> 00:12:13,412 Oh, and I need to know if this is funny. 124 00:12:13,554 --> 00:12:17,046 I'm gonna say to Lila, ''It's your last chance to have Pete.'' 125 00:12:17,854 --> 00:12:19,845 - That's really funny. - Yeah. 126 00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:23,014 Wow. OK, you guys don't get it. That's cool. 127 00:12:23,154 --> 00:12:25,816 I'll just find something else. Not a big deal. 128 00:12:28,421 --> 00:12:31,151 - That was amazing. - Not yet, buddy. 129 00:12:31,288 --> 00:12:33,188 - What's up, dude? - All right. Ladies and gentlemen, 130 00:12:33,321 --> 00:12:35,846 sorry to interrupt, but cocktails beckon us tonight. 131 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,457 Lila, Tom. Let's do this quickly, shall we, 132 00:12:38,588 --> 00:12:40,954 so that we can toast this fantastic pair. 133 00:12:41,089 --> 00:12:44,115 Chip! You nearly took me down. 134 00:12:44,256 --> 00:12:46,622 I knew it. I still make you weak at the knees. 135 00:12:46,756 --> 00:12:49,816 All right. We will do one walk-through 136 00:12:49,956 --> 00:12:52,220 - of the wedding procession. - Nice bow-tie. 137 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:56,156 Now, members of the wedding party, I need you to break into pairs. 138 00:12:56,290 --> 00:13:00,886 Husbands will go with wives, fiancés with fiancées... 139 00:13:01,023 --> 00:13:03,184 And Laura, you'll go with Chip. 140 00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:08,217 Flower girls go before Lila, who will go with her father. 141 00:13:08,357 --> 00:13:10,348 Minnow, you will lead the processional. 142 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,720 And, Tom, you'll stand with Reverend Bartlett. 143 00:13:12,857 --> 00:13:14,256 OK. 144 00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:16,449 I'm gonna... I'll probably just... I'll... 145 00:13:17,624 --> 00:13:21,116 - Everybody got it? Good. - This whole thing rests on you. 146 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,885 - OK... - Wait, what's happening? 147 00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:26,482 - The whole thing hinges on you. - Dude, I have no idea what she just... 148 00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:27,717 I don't... 149 00:13:28,525 --> 00:13:29,719 It's kind of intimidating. 150 00:13:29,858 --> 00:13:31,689 I think we're at the back. 151 00:13:32,658 --> 00:13:34,785 I believe we go last. 152 00:13:36,558 --> 00:13:38,651 I think you guys should go... 153 00:13:38,791 --> 00:13:41,817 - Tonight's the night. - And what night is that? 154 00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:44,085 The night you finally fall for me. 155 00:13:44,225 --> 00:13:46,819 - I wouldn't hold your breath. - Oh, I will. 156 00:13:47,959 --> 00:13:50,826 What happened to all your little girlfriends? 157 00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:53,621 They're mere bodies, laying a path to you. 158 00:14:28,361 --> 00:14:29,828 Sorry, guys. 159 00:14:33,761 --> 00:14:37,959 God, it's like a bar mitzvah in there. Did you see that room? 160 00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:42,388 You should just have a ''bring your own bottle...'' 161 00:14:43,128 --> 00:14:44,322 I'm sorry. 162 00:14:46,829 --> 00:14:49,627 - You look stunning, sweetheart. - Thank you, Mom. 163 00:14:49,762 --> 00:14:52,595 Now if we could just find your groom. 164 00:14:57,296 --> 00:15:00,390 - That's funny, isn't it? - What's funny? 165 00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:03,966 I don't know, just the way he's standing there like that. 166 00:15:04,096 --> 00:15:05,427 What's funny about it? 167 00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:09,055 OK, maybe funny is the wrong word, but... strange. It's... 168 00:15:09,197 --> 00:15:10,994 It is a little strange, don't you think? 169 00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:13,792 What about it is strange? 170 00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:17,866 The way he's staring out to sea like a lovesick sailor. 171 00:15:17,997 --> 00:15:20,124 - He's a groom. Grooms get nervous. - Of course. 172 00:15:20,264 --> 00:15:22,027 Mother, please don't. 173 00:15:25,364 --> 00:15:28,424 - You know what I think. - Yes, I know what you think. 174 00:15:28,564 --> 00:15:32,125 And... perhaps you'll permit me to say it. 175 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,733 I know you will, regardless. 176 00:15:36,465 --> 00:15:38,660 He has to love you more, Lila. 177 00:15:39,765 --> 00:15:41,130 More than what? 178 00:15:44,632 --> 00:15:46,031 More than whom? 179 00:15:48,899 --> 00:15:51,231 More than you love him. 180 00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:53,630 That's the only way marriage works. 181 00:15:53,765 --> 00:15:55,164 Leave him alone. 182 00:16:08,599 --> 00:16:09,930 How's Augusta? 183 00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:12,466 She'll be fine after a couple of cocktails. 184 00:16:36,668 --> 00:16:40,069 Tom McDevon is quite a catch. 185 00:16:40,201 --> 00:16:43,864 Summa graduate, championship swimmer, 186 00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:47,233 PhD candidate in English, 187 00:16:47,368 --> 00:16:49,859 rather easy on the eyes. 188 00:16:51,235 --> 00:16:54,170 So let's raise our glasses to two perfect catches: 189 00:16:54,302 --> 00:16:57,499 Perfect catch, perfect match. 190 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:02,295 - There goes the bloodline. - That's enough for you. 191 00:17:07,036 --> 00:17:10,199 When Tommy told me he was marrying the lovely Lila, 192 00:17:10,336 --> 00:17:15,399 I said... ''Tommy boy, you're one lucky son of a bitch!'' 193 00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,734 And I said, ''You know, 194 00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:24,068 attraction is a very important ingredient in any relationship.'' 195 00:17:25,037 --> 00:17:28,029 Sure, folks can talk all they want about love and loyalty 196 00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:31,799 and all that other shit, but the important thing is... 197 00:17:31,937 --> 00:17:34,963 if she doesn't make your wiener hard... 198 00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:38,138 ...forget it! Forget it all! 199 00:17:38,271 --> 00:17:41,399 What are you doing? What are you doing? No, I... 200 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:43,301 Let's face it. 201 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:46,304 My sister is perfect. 202 00:17:48,005 --> 00:17:49,438 Everyone here knows it. 203 00:17:51,038 --> 00:17:54,599 If you're a chick, you've spent your life fighting the urge 204 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:57,264 to kill her in her sleep. 205 00:17:57,405 --> 00:18:01,842 If you're a guy, you've spent your life trying to sleep with her. 206 00:18:02,972 --> 00:18:06,840 - Admit it, Jake. Admit it. - You admit it. 207 00:18:06,972 --> 00:18:09,566 Don't worry, Weesie, he never got anywhere. 208 00:18:16,373 --> 00:18:17,397 Mom... 209 00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:18,973 ...Dad. 210 00:18:19,106 --> 00:18:22,507 I know it's been hard to embrace the new in-laws. 211 00:18:23,107 --> 00:18:24,699 But don't worry. 212 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:29,539 We only have to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with them... 213 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:32,972 ...every year for the rest of our lives. 214 00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:44,472 Wait... do lrish people 215 00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:47,940 celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah? 216 00:18:53,575 --> 00:18:56,100 ''The lovely Lila sat on a wall 217 00:18:56,241 --> 00:19:00,075 When she saw Tom McDevon, her heart had a fall 218 00:19:00,209 --> 00:19:02,905 He rode in on his horse and picked up the pieces 219 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,704 Until that day, she had felt like feces.'' 220 00:19:06,642 --> 00:19:11,136 As everybody knows, Tom is unmatched in the swimming pool. 221 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:15,110 As everyone also knows, Tom is unmatched on the tennis court. 222 00:19:15,242 --> 00:19:17,301 But I don't think enough is said 223 00:19:17,442 --> 00:19:21,936 about what a truly kind and generous man Tom really is. 224 00:19:22,076 --> 00:19:27,343 Many of you may not know this, but I was only point two seconds 225 00:19:27,477 --> 00:19:31,277 behind Tom McDevon in the breast stroke, 226 00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:33,776 our personal favorite stroke. 227 00:19:35,544 --> 00:19:38,411 ''Athletic and smart, kind and charming, 228 00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,877 Tom McDevon was one disarming... dude.'' 229 00:19:42,011 --> 00:19:44,844 So I was like, ''Jake, where's Tom?'' He's like, ''I don't know.'' 230 00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,275 And I was like, ''Pete, where's Tom?'' He's like, ''I don't know.'' 231 00:19:47,411 --> 00:19:51,609 And we were just like... But nobody knew where he was. 232 00:19:51,745 --> 00:19:56,580 And I still maintain that he put rufies in my Gatorade... 233 00:19:58,778 --> 00:20:01,372 ...and touched me inappropriately under the water. 234 00:20:02,178 --> 00:20:03,202 That was me. 235 00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:05,472 - That was you? - Such a good story. 236 00:20:05,611 --> 00:20:08,774 I love that one, so... But, OK, so one more... 237 00:20:08,912 --> 00:20:12,473 Here's to that lucky lady, here's to Tom. 238 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,273 I love you both, and... 239 00:20:14,412 --> 00:20:17,677 ''And should that egg meet a sperm and turn into a baby, 240 00:20:17,812 --> 00:20:21,805 count on me as a sitter. I will always say, 'maybe'.'' 241 00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:23,208 Cheers. 242 00:20:37,446 --> 00:20:39,175 Lila... 243 00:20:39,314 --> 00:20:40,781 ...is... 244 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,416 ...graced with beauty and... 245 00:20:46,548 --> 00:20:48,345 ...intelligence and... 246 00:20:49,714 --> 00:20:50,976 ...determination. 247 00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:56,183 Lila and I were roommates in college. 248 00:20:56,314 --> 00:20:59,806 I was from the Midwest, she was from the East Coast. 249 00:21:01,548 --> 00:21:03,880 My first memory is... 250 00:21:04,814 --> 00:21:08,580 ...we were both on Old Campus 251 00:21:08,715 --> 00:21:12,981 in line for our college lDs and freshmen... 252 00:21:15,415 --> 00:21:18,942 And all of a sudden, this stranger comes up to me and says: 253 00:21:19,082 --> 00:21:22,518 ''You know we're gonna have these lDs for the rest of the year, right?'' 254 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:26,176 And, I said, ''Yes.'' And she goes, ''Well, didn't you bring your makeup?'' 255 00:21:27,550 --> 00:21:32,146 So, when she painted me up with Lancome's best, I... 256 00:21:32,283 --> 00:21:34,581 I knew we were gonna be... 257 00:21:36,483 --> 00:21:38,178 ...good friends. 258 00:21:40,317 --> 00:21:44,310 And, yet, it was touch and go at first, 259 00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:49,353 but we realized that our differences 260 00:21:49,484 --> 00:21:51,315 made us stronger, you know? We... 261 00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:59,287 We got the nickname ''La-la'' because we loved each other. 262 00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:01,579 And we loved our friends. 263 00:22:01,717 --> 00:22:05,153 Our friends got the nickname, ''The Romantics.'' 264 00:22:08,852 --> 00:22:11,252 Because of our incestuous dating history. 265 00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,246 We were just... 266 00:22:19,386 --> 00:22:21,149 ...in love with each other. 267 00:22:21,286 --> 00:22:24,551 Because that's what friends do. They... 268 00:22:24,686 --> 00:22:26,847 ...they fall in love with each other. 269 00:22:28,419 --> 00:22:29,943 And... 270 00:22:31,553 --> 00:22:34,681 ...then they fall out of love and... 271 00:22:34,819 --> 00:22:37,617 ...they fall back in love and this happens over and over again 272 00:22:37,753 --> 00:22:39,948 for the rest of their lives. 273 00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,477 The fact that Tom and Laura... 274 00:22:52,387 --> 00:22:53,411 The fact that... 275 00:22:56,087 --> 00:22:59,147 Tom and Lila found each other is... 276 00:23:01,087 --> 00:23:03,851 ...exceptional because they're both... 277 00:23:04,921 --> 00:23:06,445 ...exceptional people. 278 00:23:06,588 --> 00:23:11,218 And I wish them all of the joy in the world. 279 00:23:13,521 --> 00:23:16,149 To their glittering future. 280 00:23:16,289 --> 00:23:18,917 Hear, hear. Glittering future. 281 00:23:27,556 --> 00:23:28,887 Did I seem nervous? 282 00:23:29,355 --> 00:23:30,686 No. 283 00:23:32,223 --> 00:23:33,349 No. 284 00:23:33,989 --> 00:23:38,016 - You were great. - You were really... great. 285 00:24:02,357 --> 00:24:04,791 Wait! Lila! 286 00:24:06,925 --> 00:24:09,086 You didn't think you could escape that easy, did ya? 287 00:24:09,224 --> 00:24:11,988 Come on, Lila, just stay for one more drink. 288 00:24:12,125 --> 00:24:15,390 No, I need hours, maybe days of silence. 289 00:24:16,191 --> 00:24:17,624 Boring. 290 00:24:17,758 --> 00:24:20,625 But, I'll see you guys at midnight, right? 291 00:24:22,191 --> 00:24:23,317 Remember? 292 00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:25,585 You guys said you'd come tuck me in? 293 00:24:25,725 --> 00:24:26,953 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah... 294 00:24:27,859 --> 00:24:30,828 - Remind the others, OK? - OK. 295 00:24:30,959 --> 00:24:32,688 See ya at midnight. 296 00:24:44,326 --> 00:24:47,921 Hey, do you have any of those, like, tropical umbrellas... 297 00:24:48,060 --> 00:24:49,322 ...I can put in...? 298 00:24:49,459 --> 00:24:51,620 For like a... 299 00:24:52,427 --> 00:24:54,622 Oh, are you kidding me? 300 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,159 It's free, it's open... 301 00:24:56,294 --> 00:24:58,285 - It's open bar. - Nothing's free. 302 00:25:04,227 --> 00:25:05,455 Hey! 303 00:25:06,827 --> 00:25:09,523 Hey, come back here! 304 00:25:09,661 --> 00:25:11,390 Come back here, you kids! 305 00:25:13,094 --> 00:25:14,220 Oh, my God! 306 00:26:41,432 --> 00:26:43,992 Movement to go skinny dipping! 307 00:26:44,133 --> 00:26:46,363 - Would you stop it? - You always do that! 308 00:26:46,499 --> 00:26:49,662 I guarantee he wants to see one more piece of ass before his wedding day! 309 00:26:49,799 --> 00:26:52,131 I think he got his fill at the bachelor party! 310 00:26:52,266 --> 00:26:54,734 OK, yeah, yeah. That's right. 311 00:26:54,866 --> 00:26:57,733 I spent half the night trying to pull your ass out of the champagne room. 312 00:26:57,867 --> 00:27:00,631 Yeah, no... Explain that to her! 313 00:27:00,767 --> 00:27:02,598 Tell me right now, do I need to divorce my husband? 314 00:27:02,733 --> 00:27:03,927 - You're a pussy. - Sadly, no. 315 00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:05,694 No, none of the strippers would have him. 316 00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:07,460 God knows I tried. 317 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,500 You dirty rat! 318 00:27:09,633 --> 00:27:10,895 Get outta here! 319 00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:15,901 You got my suit all wet! 320 00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:17,763 He can't run for shit! 321 00:27:19,367 --> 00:27:20,493 Come on, guys. 322 00:27:39,902 --> 00:27:40,891 Hey. 323 00:27:42,702 --> 00:27:44,567 I liked your speech. 324 00:27:46,502 --> 00:27:48,527 - Thank you. - I did. It was good. 325 00:27:48,669 --> 00:27:50,796 You were a little nervous, but it was good. 326 00:27:53,036 --> 00:27:55,869 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 327 00:28:01,469 --> 00:28:02,936 Look, I'm sorry. 328 00:28:04,503 --> 00:28:06,994 It's OK. It was necessary. 329 00:28:09,037 --> 00:28:11,130 Yeah, it was for the best. 330 00:28:12,037 --> 00:28:13,334 You know what? 331 00:28:16,404 --> 00:28:18,634 It was easier than I thought it was gonna be. 332 00:28:23,138 --> 00:28:24,833 Really? 333 00:28:26,737 --> 00:28:30,764 Really, because I thought it was... I thought it was harder than I... 334 00:28:33,905 --> 00:28:36,533 It was harder than I thought it was gonna be. 335 00:28:41,239 --> 00:28:42,797 So you miss me? 336 00:28:46,472 --> 00:28:48,099 Not for a second. 337 00:29:03,340 --> 00:29:04,534 Mom? 338 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:06,332 It's me. 339 00:29:06,473 --> 00:29:08,168 Hi. 340 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:10,537 Something wrong? 341 00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:13,999 Just nervous, I guess. 342 00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:17,108 What are you nervous about? 343 00:29:18,574 --> 00:29:21,509 You know... nothing. 344 00:29:22,707 --> 00:29:24,174 Everything. 345 00:29:25,341 --> 00:29:28,742 I'm nervous Mom's gonna go psycho after the wedding. 346 00:29:28,874 --> 00:29:31,138 You know how she gets when she finishes a project, 347 00:29:31,274 --> 00:29:33,105 all up in your grill and shit. 348 00:29:33,241 --> 00:29:35,266 ''Up in your grill and shit?'' 349 00:29:37,608 --> 00:29:40,668 I just don't want the attention, I guess. 350 00:29:40,808 --> 00:29:42,571 I think you'll be spared. 351 00:29:46,642 --> 00:29:50,078 What about you? Are you nervous? 352 00:29:54,175 --> 00:29:56,268 I'm terrified. 353 00:29:56,776 --> 00:29:58,175 You are? 354 00:29:58,309 --> 00:30:03,110 - Yep. To the bone. - About what? 355 00:30:03,243 --> 00:30:05,074 I'm not sure... 356 00:30:05,209 --> 00:30:06,608 Tom can... 357 00:30:08,276 --> 00:30:09,641 I'm... 358 00:30:09,777 --> 00:30:13,110 I'm not sure Tom... I'm not sure Tom is... 359 00:30:13,243 --> 00:30:15,268 Not sure Tom is what? 360 00:30:18,077 --> 00:30:21,205 I'm... I'm just not... 361 00:30:21,344 --> 00:30:22,709 ...sure. 362 00:30:23,710 --> 00:30:25,803 Does he make you feel beautiful? 363 00:30:26,611 --> 00:30:28,169 Yes. 364 00:30:28,311 --> 00:30:32,714 - Does he make you feel safe? - Most of the time. 365 00:30:33,611 --> 00:30:36,978 - Does he make you feel special? - Don't be a dork. 366 00:30:37,111 --> 00:30:38,100 You know... 367 00:30:38,245 --> 00:30:40,577 ...like you're his most interesting person. 368 00:30:40,711 --> 00:30:44,374 Yes, yes. He does. 369 00:30:44,512 --> 00:30:46,275 You know what? This is... this is dumb. 370 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:47,606 Let's just forget it. 371 00:30:51,412 --> 00:30:52,572 OK, OK, OK, OK! 372 00:30:52,712 --> 00:30:54,771 - OK, OK. - I say we vote on 373 00:30:54,912 --> 00:30:56,743 who had the best toast of the night. 374 00:30:56,879 --> 00:30:59,507 - And I'm gonna say... me. - No! 375 00:30:59,645 --> 00:31:00,907 - What?! - Me. 376 00:31:01,046 --> 00:31:04,072 Chip won. And Grandpa McDevon came in second. 377 00:31:04,212 --> 00:31:07,147 Oh, my God, that was amazing. 378 00:31:08,046 --> 00:31:10,913 All right, guys. I'm going in. 379 00:31:11,046 --> 00:31:12,570 - Do it! Who's coming with me? - Yeah! 380 00:31:12,713 --> 00:31:14,112 It's freezing, baby. 381 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,344 - Yeah? - Go masturbate in your room, Chip. 382 00:31:18,479 --> 00:31:20,447 Oh, come on. Have some respect! This is our host. 383 00:31:20,580 --> 00:31:23,913 Keep your clothes on. You big slut. 384 00:31:24,547 --> 00:31:27,107 Hey, Tom, you didn't make a speech tonight. 385 00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:30,045 Yeah, dude, you've been suspiciously quiet. 386 00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:33,206 - Are you scared of Augusta? - No, I was just having too much fun 387 00:31:33,347 --> 00:31:35,406 watching you guys make asses of yourself. 388 00:31:36,148 --> 00:31:37,672 Yeah. 389 00:31:37,814 --> 00:31:39,247 Well, how about giving one now? 390 00:31:39,381 --> 00:31:40,609 Yeah! 391 00:31:40,747 --> 00:31:43,113 - Speech, speech... - All right. 392 00:31:43,248 --> 00:31:44,579 I'll give you a speech. 393 00:31:44,715 --> 00:31:47,548 All right! I'll give a speech. OK... 394 00:31:49,148 --> 00:31:51,480 - This better not suck. - I'm gonna get on my stage over here. 395 00:31:51,615 --> 00:31:55,142 Right here. OK... All right. 396 00:31:55,282 --> 00:31:57,375 You want a speech? I'll give you a speech. 397 00:31:57,515 --> 00:31:58,812 - Speech! - Let's hear it! 398 00:31:58,949 --> 00:32:00,473 - All right! - Make it good! 399 00:32:00,615 --> 00:32:01,946 Don't be boring. 400 00:32:02,082 --> 00:32:05,483 As I gaze at this assembly of friends and family 401 00:32:05,616 --> 00:32:09,450 on this momentous occasion, only one thing comes to mind... 402 00:32:12,050 --> 00:32:14,348 - We are all so messed up. - Hey! 403 00:32:14,482 --> 00:32:16,450 - Speak for yourself! - I'm awesome! 404 00:32:16,583 --> 00:32:19,177 OK, OK, OK... Let me start this again. 405 00:32:21,283 --> 00:32:23,513 We are all so... 406 00:32:25,383 --> 00:32:27,578 ...uninspired. 407 00:32:28,317 --> 00:32:34,222 Uninspired. We're so blind to the tiny, beautiful things. 408 00:32:34,784 --> 00:32:36,979 I saw Jake's tiny beautiful thing. 409 00:32:37,117 --> 00:32:39,847 No, I'm talking about the tiny beautiful things 410 00:32:39,984 --> 00:32:42,077 that make life worth living. 411 00:32:42,217 --> 00:32:44,208 Right? Like you, Weesie. 412 00:32:45,251 --> 00:32:47,014 - Weesie? - The way you were walking across 413 00:32:47,151 --> 00:32:50,086 the grass before the rehearsal. It was beautiful. 414 00:32:51,318 --> 00:32:53,650 Or how about Chip, after his toast? 415 00:32:53,785 --> 00:32:55,776 The way all the sound just kind of fell out of the room, 416 00:32:55,918 --> 00:32:57,385 and all you could hear were forks on plates. 417 00:32:57,519 --> 00:32:58,713 It was magical. 418 00:33:00,452 --> 00:33:04,047 Or how about the sound as you're driving up to the house here. 419 00:33:05,285 --> 00:33:09,722 It's gravel, grass, ocean. 420 00:33:10,652 --> 00:33:13,746 It's verse, verse, chorus. 421 00:33:13,886 --> 00:33:17,014 Wordsworth! Shelley! McDevon! 422 00:33:17,153 --> 00:33:18,518 McDevon! 423 00:33:21,086 --> 00:33:23,316 The seven of us are friends. 424 00:33:23,453 --> 00:33:26,013 No, the seven of us are family. 425 00:33:26,153 --> 00:33:27,518 We're everything to each other. 426 00:33:28,453 --> 00:33:31,889 Sister, brothers, mother... 427 00:33:32,653 --> 00:33:36,316 ...nurse, shrink, opponent, rival. 428 00:33:36,454 --> 00:33:39,514 We share a history, and we share a goal... 429 00:33:40,754 --> 00:33:43,689 ...to inspire and to be inspired. 430 00:33:45,054 --> 00:33:48,581 That, my friends, that's imperative. 431 00:33:48,721 --> 00:33:50,814 And without that... 432 00:33:53,454 --> 00:33:55,547 Without that, we got nothing. 433 00:34:01,221 --> 00:34:02,210 Slow clap. 434 00:34:02,355 --> 00:34:03,788 - Where's the cane? - All right! 435 00:34:03,922 --> 00:34:05,480 - The man is drunk! - Where's the cane? 436 00:34:05,622 --> 00:34:06,884 Where's the gong? 437 00:34:07,022 --> 00:34:09,013 Seriously, you guys, thank you so much... 438 00:34:09,156 --> 00:34:10,919 Thank you so much for coming. 439 00:34:11,056 --> 00:34:13,320 That's all I got. Sorry I've been such a freak tonight. 440 00:34:13,456 --> 00:34:14,684 Oh, and by the way... 441 00:35:28,726 --> 00:35:30,125 Where did he go? 442 00:36:12,596 --> 00:36:15,292 - Guys, I'm really worried. - Why are you worried? 443 00:36:15,429 --> 00:36:17,294 Because he disappeared in the ocean. 444 00:36:17,429 --> 00:36:19,920 He's probably passed out on the lawn, freaking out about the wedding. 445 00:36:20,062 --> 00:36:22,292 - Cold feet, anyone? - Yeah? 446 00:36:22,429 --> 00:36:24,556 I think we have a fugitive on our hands. 447 00:36:24,696 --> 00:36:25,924 Well, why don't we go look for the guy? 448 00:36:26,063 --> 00:36:28,361 Let's break into pairs, canvass the neighborhood. Yes? 449 00:36:28,495 --> 00:36:29,826 - Yes. - I love it. 450 00:36:29,963 --> 00:36:33,592 - Jake, I like the way you think. - Get over here. 451 00:36:34,763 --> 00:36:36,321 - All right. - All right. 452 00:36:36,463 --> 00:36:40,559 Chip and I have spent a lot of quality time together. 453 00:36:40,697 --> 00:36:41,686 - Come on. - I know, I know. 454 00:36:41,830 --> 00:36:43,058 Why don't we mix it up a bit. 455 00:36:43,197 --> 00:36:44,960 We'll switch partners, like a dinner party. 456 00:36:45,097 --> 00:36:46,860 - A search party dinner party. - OK. 457 00:36:46,997 --> 00:36:49,227 - Dibs on Jake. - Yes. You have such good taste. 458 00:36:49,364 --> 00:36:51,696 - I know. - Fine by me. 459 00:36:52,431 --> 00:36:53,762 Weesie? 460 00:36:57,898 --> 00:36:59,798 Come on, I'm not that bad. 461 00:36:59,931 --> 00:37:02,195 - Come on. - Wait, Lo, Lo, Lo. 462 00:37:02,331 --> 00:37:03,696 We haven't even made the plan yet. 463 00:37:03,831 --> 00:37:05,526 What area should we cover? 464 00:37:05,664 --> 00:37:07,393 - Main house. - We'll cover the main house. 465 00:37:07,531 --> 00:37:10,898 - Perfect... - Lo! Remember! 466 00:37:11,031 --> 00:37:13,397 Ten of midnight, on the porch! 467 00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:15,432 We promised Lila! 468 00:37:16,465 --> 00:37:18,865 - What? - It's your lucky night. 469 00:37:24,765 --> 00:37:28,531 OK, so, wait. If you were Tom, where would you be? 470 00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:32,294 Doing my crunches. Yeah? 471 00:37:32,433 --> 00:37:34,526 OK, yeah, but after you do your crunches. 472 00:37:34,666 --> 00:37:37,260 I'd do a thousand, but if I was done... 473 00:37:37,399 --> 00:37:39,367 ...I'd probably be in Lila's bed. 474 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,195 - Yes? - You know that's her room, right there. 475 00:37:43,334 --> 00:37:45,393 - Want to take a last shot? - Me? 476 00:37:45,533 --> 00:37:47,501 Why don't you two lez out again, how about that? 477 00:37:47,633 --> 00:37:48,964 I would love to. 478 00:37:51,933 --> 00:37:53,059 Yes. 479 00:37:55,867 --> 00:37:58,529 I really stepped on a rock, hard. 480 00:37:59,334 --> 00:38:00,392 You stepped on a rock? 481 00:38:00,534 --> 00:38:03,833 - Yes. - I like it in here. It's warm. 482 00:38:03,968 --> 00:38:05,902 I love it in here. 483 00:38:08,568 --> 00:38:10,627 - So, hey... - Yeah? 484 00:38:10,767 --> 00:38:12,997 - I saw your movie. - What? 485 00:38:13,134 --> 00:38:14,761 Yeah, I saw the torture one. I saw it. 486 00:38:14,902 --> 00:38:16,802 How? It never even got released. 487 00:38:16,935 --> 00:38:18,266 I know. I downloaded it. 488 00:38:18,401 --> 00:38:20,232 I spend a lot of time on the lnternet. 489 00:38:20,368 --> 00:38:22,268 Yeah, I bet you do. 490 00:38:22,969 --> 00:38:24,698 Wow, that is really embarrassing. 491 00:38:24,835 --> 00:38:26,666 I don't think you should be embarrassed. 492 00:38:26,802 --> 00:38:29,566 I thought you were really good in it. I... You had a really funny line 493 00:38:29,703 --> 00:38:32,433 about not wanting to die a blond. That was good. 494 00:38:32,569 --> 00:38:34,332 - You did? - Yeah. 495 00:38:34,469 --> 00:38:36,369 - I came up with that line. - Really? 496 00:38:36,502 --> 00:38:40,302 - That's great. - Speaking of great lines... 497 00:38:40,436 --> 00:38:43,269 - Are you serious? - Why? What? Yeah. 498 00:38:43,403 --> 00:38:45,064 I don't know. lsn't that a little '80s? 499 00:38:45,203 --> 00:38:47,865 Not when you mix it with Wellbutrin. 500 00:38:48,003 --> 00:38:50,437 'Cause Wellbutrin is... Of course. 501 00:38:50,570 --> 00:38:51,730 Of course. 502 00:38:54,937 --> 00:38:56,962 So we're doing the guesthouse. 503 00:38:57,804 --> 00:38:59,271 Yep. 504 00:39:02,604 --> 00:39:07,268 - You trust him, right? - Who? Jake? Of course. 505 00:39:07,404 --> 00:39:10,999 Good. 'Cause I don't trust Tripler one bit. 506 00:39:16,938 --> 00:39:18,838 Wow. 507 00:39:18,972 --> 00:39:21,270 Hey, you ever think there was something odd about the way 508 00:39:21,405 --> 00:39:23,168 Lila and Tom started dating? 509 00:39:23,305 --> 00:39:24,772 - The way that they started dating? - Yeah. 510 00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:27,430 Remember? It was, like, right after we came up here 511 00:39:27,572 --> 00:39:31,133 for that long weekend. Senior spring, remember? 512 00:39:31,272 --> 00:39:34,537 I mean, don't you think it was kind of odd? An odd coincidence? 513 00:39:34,672 --> 00:39:36,902 Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. 514 00:39:37,039 --> 00:39:39,701 He asked her out like three days after we got back. 515 00:39:39,839 --> 00:39:41,932 - Three days. Three days. - Three days, so? 516 00:39:42,073 --> 00:39:44,701 So, never mind that he was dating Laura. 517 00:39:44,839 --> 00:39:46,238 The girls were roommates. 518 00:39:46,373 --> 00:39:48,170 So then you think that Tom started dating Lila 519 00:39:48,306 --> 00:39:51,036 because he coveted her parents' fortune? 520 00:39:51,740 --> 00:39:55,301 OK. You just made that sound like an episode of Dynasty. 521 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:56,930 - But that's what you're saying, right? - No. 522 00:39:57,074 --> 00:39:58,939 - I'm just noting the dates. - You're an idiot. 523 00:39:59,074 --> 00:40:00,541 I'm not an idiot. I'm just saying. 524 00:40:00,673 --> 00:40:02,800 You're just saying something really shitty about our friend. 525 00:40:02,940 --> 00:40:06,171 I'm just saying that I think Lila's lifestyle appealed to Tom 526 00:40:06,307 --> 00:40:08,298 just like Lila's perfect tits appeal to you. 527 00:40:08,441 --> 00:40:11,205 Oh, I'm sure those appeal to Tom as well. 528 00:40:23,841 --> 00:40:27,072 - He's not here. - No. Doesn't seem to be. 529 00:40:30,108 --> 00:40:33,669 - Where do you think he is? - That's a very good question. 530 00:40:33,809 --> 00:40:36,573 That's one I need a drink to consider. 531 00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:46,309 This must be really hard for you. 532 00:40:48,009 --> 00:40:51,206 You drive halfway to the North Pole 533 00:40:51,343 --> 00:40:52,833 to watch the love of your life 534 00:40:52,977 --> 00:40:54,444 marry the bane of your existence. 535 00:40:54,576 --> 00:40:56,100 And this is how they thank you? 536 00:40:56,243 --> 00:40:58,108 Honestly, Chip, I'm not in the mood. 537 00:40:58,243 --> 00:41:03,647 It's ironic. Asking you, of all people, to convince the groom 538 00:41:03,776 --> 00:41:05,676 to show up for this wedding. 539 00:41:07,077 --> 00:41:09,910 I wish I could be there for the reunion. 540 00:41:10,044 --> 00:41:13,013 ''Oh, Tom. I thought you were lost.'' 541 00:41:13,144 --> 00:41:16,773 ''Oh, Laura! I was! Until I found you.'' 542 00:41:16,911 --> 00:41:20,312 Aren't you supposed to be wearing some sort of ankle bracelet now? 543 00:41:20,978 --> 00:41:22,377 That's funny! 544 00:41:22,511 --> 00:41:25,412 No, they just made me do some community service. 545 00:41:26,078 --> 00:41:28,478 Ankle bracelet! 546 00:41:28,612 --> 00:41:32,070 I'm gonna keep going and see if he overshot the house. 547 00:41:32,211 --> 00:41:33,439 Goodnight! 548 00:41:35,279 --> 00:41:37,110 You're not worried? 549 00:41:37,245 --> 00:41:41,306 Not at all. Wedding day jitters is a universal affliction. 550 00:41:41,446 --> 00:41:43,311 Did you freak out the night before your wedding? 551 00:41:43,446 --> 00:41:46,938 Yeah. I spent the night before my wedding in a closet. 552 00:41:47,646 --> 00:41:50,046 Of course, Tripler locked me in it. 553 00:41:52,180 --> 00:41:55,308 - Darn. - I hope Laura's OK. 554 00:41:55,446 --> 00:41:58,472 - She's fine. - Chip was kind of a nightmare. 555 00:41:58,613 --> 00:42:01,582 No worse than usual. 556 00:42:01,714 --> 00:42:03,579 And you don't think we should tell Lila? 557 00:42:03,714 --> 00:42:05,113 Why worry her for no reason? 558 00:42:05,246 --> 00:42:07,612 God, I could have sworn I got another bottle. 559 00:42:07,747 --> 00:42:09,146 God. 560 00:42:18,247 --> 00:42:21,580 Where are you hiding from me? 561 00:42:26,014 --> 00:42:27,481 Jackpot. 562 00:42:30,115 --> 00:42:32,447 So when's the big date again? 563 00:42:32,581 --> 00:42:35,141 We haven't quite figured that out yet. 564 00:42:35,282 --> 00:42:37,512 - You excited? - Very. 565 00:42:38,282 --> 00:42:39,840 You scared? 566 00:42:39,982 --> 00:42:42,507 No, I figure I know what I'm in for. 567 00:42:42,649 --> 00:42:44,640 We've been together for almost ten years. 568 00:42:45,649 --> 00:42:47,048 Are we that old? 569 00:42:47,182 --> 00:42:49,275 And besides, if you and Trip are any indication, 570 00:42:49,415 --> 00:42:51,212 married life is bliss. 571 00:42:52,949 --> 00:42:55,110 You do have a sense of humor! 572 00:42:59,149 --> 00:43:01,379 To your glittering future. 573 00:43:02,817 --> 00:43:04,717 To your glittering future. 574 00:43:04,850 --> 00:43:07,410 - To our glittering futures. - To our... yeah. 575 00:43:13,317 --> 00:43:14,978 To... 576 00:43:16,250 --> 00:43:18,047 I'm already regretting this. 577 00:43:18,184 --> 00:43:20,243 You're dancing on the coke. 578 00:43:20,384 --> 00:43:22,443 You can never regret the dancing. Ever. 579 00:43:22,584 --> 00:43:24,745 - All right, how do you wanna dance? - Show me your dance moves. 580 00:43:24,884 --> 00:43:27,079 - Show me your dance moves. - All right, well, it's a Kid 'N Play. 581 00:43:27,217 --> 00:43:29,447 - Oh, my God! - And that's the start, 582 00:43:29,584 --> 00:43:31,279 - but there's more. - I can't believe you can do that. 583 00:43:31,417 --> 00:43:33,009 - I can do a lot of things. - Do it again. 584 00:43:33,151 --> 00:43:35,619 - I don't wanna do it again because... - Just do it one more time. 585 00:43:35,751 --> 00:43:38,219 - You won't be as impressed anymore. - That is so cool. 586 00:43:38,352 --> 00:43:39,751 I really, really loved it. 587 00:43:45,019 --> 00:43:47,146 Hey, hey, hey, Laura! 588 00:43:57,752 --> 00:43:59,617 I should go and let everyone know that you're OK. 589 00:43:59,753 --> 00:44:02,449 Laura, just come here for a minute. Just come here. 590 00:44:06,953 --> 00:44:09,547 - We've been really worried about you. - Please, just... 591 00:44:12,253 --> 00:44:13,743 Don't go. 592 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:21,444 Nobody knows that I'm out here. 593 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:24,309 Exactly. 594 00:44:24,454 --> 00:44:26,820 Yeah, nobody knows that you're out here. 595 00:44:26,954 --> 00:44:28,319 What's your point? 596 00:44:31,154 --> 00:44:33,782 I don't... maybe we can just hang out for a minute. 597 00:44:36,054 --> 00:44:38,147 Nobody's gonna know the difference. 598 00:45:25,224 --> 00:45:26,987 Why are you here? 599 00:45:28,490 --> 00:45:31,789 I don't know. Just thought that I would swim halfway across the bay 600 00:45:31,924 --> 00:45:33,949 at the chance to be alone with you. 601 00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:37,515 - You're so full of it. - I'm totally serious. 602 00:45:41,658 --> 00:45:44,320 So, you excited about tomorrow? 603 00:45:44,858 --> 00:45:46,416 Yeah. 604 00:45:47,225 --> 00:45:50,058 - What's your song? - My song? 605 00:45:50,192 --> 00:45:52,922 Your wedding song? Your first dance at your wedding. 606 00:45:53,525 --> 00:45:56,619 I don't know. Lila picked it. 607 00:45:58,659 --> 00:46:00,593 Well, you're gonna have to dance anyway. You realize this. 608 00:46:00,726 --> 00:46:04,025 - And everyone will be watching. - Yeah, well, I can hold my own. 609 00:46:04,159 --> 00:46:05,592 - Yeah? - Yeah. 610 00:46:05,726 --> 00:46:08,957 - Well, let's see it. - Well... 611 00:46:09,093 --> 00:46:10,355 You... 612 00:46:12,959 --> 00:46:14,256 OK. 613 00:46:21,727 --> 00:46:22,716 No. 614 00:46:22,860 --> 00:46:24,122 - No? - No. 615 00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:27,522 Maybe you should show me. 616 00:46:27,660 --> 00:46:29,560 You're gonna teach me something. 617 00:46:30,727 --> 00:46:31,819 Come on. 618 00:46:37,027 --> 00:46:39,052 So, what do I do? 619 00:46:40,861 --> 00:46:43,261 Try not to step on her feet. 620 00:46:43,394 --> 00:46:46,921 Yeah, might annoy Augusta a little bit. 621 00:46:49,228 --> 00:46:52,720 And try not to let her lead too much. You don't want to make it obvious. 622 00:46:52,861 --> 00:46:54,055 OK. 623 00:47:17,696 --> 00:47:19,994 I owe you an apology. 624 00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:23,488 It's OK, let's not talk about it. 625 00:47:32,030 --> 00:47:32,928 So, you... 626 00:47:33,731 --> 00:47:35,460 You forgive me? 627 00:47:36,998 --> 00:47:39,330 I wouldn't push your luck. 628 00:47:42,364 --> 00:47:44,798 You know, a heads up would've been nice. 629 00:47:47,797 --> 00:47:51,494 You know, nothing... Nothing major, just... 630 00:47:53,064 --> 00:47:54,929 Just a quick email. You know, ''Hey, Laura. 631 00:47:55,064 --> 00:47:56,895 I know I saw you last night 632 00:47:57,032 --> 00:47:59,125 and countless others over the last ten years, 633 00:47:59,264 --> 00:48:02,324 and not excluding the four years we dated in college 634 00:48:02,465 --> 00:48:04,023 and the year that we got back together 635 00:48:04,165 --> 00:48:07,760 to try again and the handful of times that we've slept together since... 636 00:48:09,466 --> 00:48:12,526 ...but you know that Lila and I are together now. 637 00:48:12,666 --> 00:48:15,328 And though I've struggled endlessly with this predicament, 638 00:48:15,466 --> 00:48:18,128 I think we both know the inevitable here, so don't be surprised 639 00:48:18,265 --> 00:48:21,393 when she calls and asks you to be her maid of honor.'' 640 00:48:21,532 --> 00:48:22,794 Or, you know what? 641 00:48:22,933 --> 00:48:26,334 This is another approach: Less direct, but same effect. 642 00:48:26,467 --> 00:48:28,560 ''Hey, Laura. Great seeing you last night. 643 00:48:28,700 --> 00:48:32,101 Great movie, great meal, great sex, but the problem is... 644 00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:36,159 ...greatness makes me sick. 645 00:48:37,467 --> 00:48:38,991 I'll see you at the wedding.'' 646 00:48:42,401 --> 00:48:44,528 You know, on the other hand, I mean... 647 00:48:44,667 --> 00:48:48,467 Look, ten years of a loving friendship and... 648 00:48:48,601 --> 00:48:50,762 ...sporadic, incredible sex... 649 00:48:51,468 --> 00:48:53,595 ...scattered with nights... 650 00:48:56,635 --> 00:49:01,072 ...so fun, they explain the evolutionary purpose of talking. 651 00:49:01,202 --> 00:49:04,171 You know, not to mention the time that we've clocked together. 652 00:49:06,702 --> 00:49:10,138 Listening to music. You know, driving with... 653 00:49:11,068 --> 00:49:13,502 ...no destination. 654 00:49:15,636 --> 00:49:17,467 I guess this, this... 655 00:49:17,602 --> 00:49:21,197 ...beautiful mess is best ended without notification. 656 00:49:22,669 --> 00:49:24,330 Probably better. 657 00:49:28,603 --> 00:49:30,195 I'm sorry. 658 00:49:33,004 --> 00:49:36,303 Don't be. It was a gift. 659 00:49:37,170 --> 00:49:39,331 An act of cowardice so complete, 660 00:49:39,470 --> 00:49:41,734 disqualifies a person from consideration. 661 00:49:41,870 --> 00:49:45,067 I tried to do what I thought was right, OK? 662 00:49:46,937 --> 00:49:48,768 It's not like I came at this lightly. 663 00:49:48,903 --> 00:49:52,339 - Oh, no. - Laura. 664 00:49:53,337 --> 00:49:54,804 You're the one that broke up with me. 665 00:49:54,938 --> 00:49:56,337 Fuck you. 666 00:49:58,205 --> 00:50:01,265 - Laura, we were seniors in college. - Don't even start. 667 00:50:01,405 --> 00:50:02,463 What did you want to do? 668 00:50:02,605 --> 00:50:04,573 Get married at 21 ? 669 00:50:04,705 --> 00:50:06,935 - What is this, 1 950? - No, it isn't. 670 00:50:07,071 --> 00:50:09,062 We were too far apart. 671 00:50:09,205 --> 00:50:11,036 I was busy trying to finish my dissertation, 672 00:50:11,171 --> 00:50:12,661 practically living in Widener Library. 673 00:50:12,805 --> 00:50:14,636 You were doing God knows what in New York City, 674 00:50:14,772 --> 00:50:16,171 probably fending off all your hipster boyfriends. 675 00:50:16,306 --> 00:50:18,240 Oh, yeah. You know, if you're gonna patronize me, 676 00:50:18,373 --> 00:50:20,671 try to think of something a little more original. 677 00:50:21,406 --> 00:50:24,102 - We gave it a college try. - Yeah, we did. 678 00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:26,434 It was an accident of timing. 679 00:50:26,573 --> 00:50:29,440 What? Let me guess. Your proposal was an accident, too? 680 00:50:29,573 --> 00:50:30,835 You got the wrong woman? 681 00:50:30,973 --> 00:50:32,497 - Give me a freaking break. - You know what? 682 00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:34,267 What difference does it make? 683 00:50:34,973 --> 00:50:36,702 Just stop talking. 684 00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,900 Yeah, you know, I think that would be a really good idea. 685 00:50:40,706 --> 00:50:43,231 Come here. Listen to me. 686 00:50:46,407 --> 00:50:48,398 I was a lifeguard in high school, you remember that? 687 00:50:48,540 --> 00:50:50,701 - Yeah, I remember. - It was my favorite summer job. 688 00:50:50,841 --> 00:50:52,206 You and every other guy in America. 689 00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:54,240 I would sit in that chair itching, 690 00:50:54,374 --> 00:50:56,899 itching to get out, dying to get into the water. 691 00:50:57,041 --> 00:50:59,305 And after eight hours, my shift would end, 692 00:50:59,441 --> 00:51:00,703 and I would make a break for it, 693 00:51:00,841 --> 00:51:03,776 but as soon as I got into the water, the strangest thing happened. 694 00:51:05,174 --> 00:51:06,471 I would start to panic. 695 00:51:06,608 --> 00:51:08,473 Ambivalence is a disease, you know. 696 00:51:08,608 --> 00:51:11,236 - An actual mental illness. - That's not funny. 697 00:51:11,375 --> 00:51:13,605 Let me guess. When you were a kid, you would order chocolate ice cream, 698 00:51:13,742 --> 00:51:15,334 then immediately wished you'd gotten vanilla? 699 00:51:15,475 --> 00:51:16,806 - That's not what I'm talking about. - No, I get it. 700 00:51:16,942 --> 00:51:21,276 - You're torn between two women. - What I'm trying to say is... 701 00:51:29,209 --> 00:51:31,473 I'm afraid of the ocean. 702 00:51:38,643 --> 00:51:40,804 I'll remember that the next time I... 703 00:51:42,377 --> 00:51:44,106 ...I swim on your clock. 704 00:51:46,944 --> 00:51:48,969 You think you have some kind of a special gift 705 00:51:49,111 --> 00:51:51,011 - for knowing what's in my heart, Laura? - No! 706 00:51:51,144 --> 00:51:53,044 No, I think we both do for each other. 707 00:51:53,177 --> 00:51:55,577 Has it ever occurred to you that I might need a woman like Lila? 708 00:51:55,710 --> 00:51:57,803 - And what kind of woman is that? - I don't know. Somebody happy. 709 00:51:57,944 --> 00:51:59,104 - Meaning numb? - Somebody practical. 710 00:51:59,244 --> 00:52:00,472 - Meaning busy. - Somebody confident. 711 00:52:00,611 --> 00:52:01,669 - Meaning rich. Meaning frigid! - Somebody stable. 712 00:52:01,810 --> 00:52:02,970 Somebody who doesn't tear other people down 713 00:52:03,111 --> 00:52:06,308 - just to build herself back up. - ln other words, your polar opposite. 714 00:52:06,444 --> 00:52:08,674 - Yeah. Yeah, maybe. - Well, haven't you heard? 715 00:52:08,811 --> 00:52:13,145 Opposites attract and then they bore each other to death. 716 00:52:13,278 --> 00:52:15,371 You know, boring is better than maddening. 717 00:52:16,945 --> 00:52:18,469 I'd rather die of excitement. 718 00:52:21,212 --> 00:52:22,873 - Hey. - What? 719 00:52:23,012 --> 00:52:25,480 Hey, hey! Hey! 720 00:52:25,612 --> 00:52:28,581 Do you remember that paper, junior year? 721 00:52:28,712 --> 00:52:30,339 Yeah. Of course. 722 00:52:30,479 --> 00:52:33,209 The Hopeless Romantics: Misconceptions of a Movement. 723 00:52:33,346 --> 00:52:36,338 Yeah. Only you could start a 50-page paper the night before... 724 00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,607 - And still get an A-minus. - Because I wrote it. 725 00:52:40,713 --> 00:52:42,408 You maybe wrote half of it. 726 00:52:44,446 --> 00:52:48,576 Ode to a Nightingale: A love song to inspiration. 727 00:52:48,713 --> 00:52:50,476 The Romantics weren't writing about love, 728 00:52:50,613 --> 00:52:52,376 they were writing about religion. 729 00:52:52,513 --> 00:52:55,038 Then I'm not sure I know the difference. 730 00:52:58,381 --> 00:53:00,246 ''Forlorn. 731 00:53:00,381 --> 00:53:05,284 The very word is like a bell tolling me back from thee to my sole self.'' 732 00:53:07,714 --> 00:53:09,944 What's the next line? 733 00:53:11,115 --> 00:53:12,946 I can't remember. 734 00:53:15,048 --> 00:53:16,310 Liar. 735 00:53:18,248 --> 00:53:20,716 Anybody can make a big romantic gesture, all right? 736 00:53:20,849 --> 00:53:24,216 The question is: What happens after? 737 00:53:26,348 --> 00:53:27,906 Do you remember? 738 00:53:28,049 --> 00:53:30,847 Do you remember what you said to me that night? 739 00:53:30,982 --> 00:53:34,509 - Yeah, I remember everything. - So what'd you say? 740 00:53:36,549 --> 00:53:38,881 - I said it was the perfect night. - You said it was the perfect night. 741 00:53:39,016 --> 00:53:42,508 - So? - So? How do I top that? 742 00:53:44,182 --> 00:53:46,207 - We had so much fun. - We had so much fun. 743 00:53:46,349 --> 00:53:47,646 So what's the problem with that? 744 00:53:47,783 --> 00:53:49,842 The problem is, every time we had one of these amazing nights, 745 00:53:49,983 --> 00:53:53,384 I would wake up the next morning in a freaking panic. 746 00:53:55,150 --> 00:53:56,777 So why don't we just spare each other 747 00:53:56,916 --> 00:53:58,076 a mundane life of crushing disappointment, 748 00:53:58,217 --> 00:54:00,583 and just do it with somebody else. 749 00:54:00,717 --> 00:54:04,380 That is the weakest excuse I have ever heard. 750 00:54:04,517 --> 00:54:06,747 - Just say you're in love with Lila. - Say what? 751 00:54:06,884 --> 00:54:08,852 Want me to say that I want to marry you? 752 00:54:08,984 --> 00:54:12,476 That I'm gonna spend the next 50 years regretting this very moment? 753 00:54:13,984 --> 00:54:16,214 You inspired me. 754 00:54:19,084 --> 00:54:20,278 You inspired me, too. 755 00:54:20,418 --> 00:54:22,852 Then we were supposed to be together. 756 00:54:27,485 --> 00:54:29,248 I know. 757 00:54:36,152 --> 00:54:39,781 I'm gonna go and I'm gonna... I'm gonna tell everyone that you're OK. 758 00:54:39,919 --> 00:54:41,614 But I'm not. 759 00:54:41,753 --> 00:54:45,587 - I'm not OK. - You chose this. 760 00:56:15,257 --> 00:56:17,418 No! No, you can't! 761 00:56:19,190 --> 00:56:21,522 You're actually a lot of fun. 762 00:56:21,658 --> 00:56:24,422 - Thanks? - Yeah. No. Really. 763 00:56:24,557 --> 00:56:28,618 - You're hilarious. - Your surprise is disturbing. 764 00:56:28,758 --> 00:56:30,919 Well, dude, you just seem like a freaking... 765 00:56:31,058 --> 00:56:33,253 ...about to have a nervous breakdown half the time. 766 00:56:33,392 --> 00:56:34,654 Take a shot. 767 00:56:35,625 --> 00:56:37,889 I'm marrying Jake, for Chrissakes. 768 00:56:38,026 --> 00:56:39,926 That's true. 769 00:56:40,059 --> 00:56:43,495 - It just got hot in here. - Wait, cheers me. 770 00:56:43,625 --> 00:56:45,024 Cheers you. 771 00:56:50,925 --> 00:56:53,519 Hey, this stuff is strong. What did you say you put in it, again? 772 00:56:53,660 --> 00:56:55,491 I just crushed up some of my old Lithium. 773 00:56:55,626 --> 00:56:58,493 - No. - Just joking! 774 00:57:00,559 --> 00:57:02,993 Hey, hey, hey! What was that? 775 00:57:04,127 --> 00:57:05,924 - What? - I heard something. 776 00:57:06,860 --> 00:57:10,387 Right! OK, there's no Tom here. 777 00:57:10,527 --> 00:57:13,826 - Yes, there's not. - So, there goes your theory. 778 00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:15,825 I still say he's in Lila's room. 779 00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:22,461 - Why does everyone seem so happy? - They're not. 780 00:57:23,427 --> 00:57:24,792 - Really? - Yeah. 781 00:57:24,927 --> 00:57:27,054 I mean, Laura's depressed, pretending to be happy. 782 00:57:27,194 --> 00:57:28,183 Yeah. 783 00:57:28,328 --> 00:57:30,057 Weesie's a mess, she pretends to have her shit together. 784 00:57:30,194 --> 00:57:33,891 Pete is a screw-up, pretending to be a success. 785 00:57:35,361 --> 00:57:37,454 And what about you? 786 00:57:37,595 --> 00:57:41,224 I'm, like, a miserable bastard who's pretending to give a shit. 787 00:57:42,362 --> 00:57:43,420 - Wow. - Yeah. 788 00:57:44,462 --> 00:57:47,863 - You had me fooled. - Well, good. 789 00:57:49,262 --> 00:57:50,854 And what am I? 790 00:57:53,262 --> 00:57:55,662 Well, at least you're honest. 791 00:58:40,098 --> 00:58:43,625 - Laura? You're late! - It's me. 792 00:58:45,666 --> 00:58:49,898 - What are you doing here? - We need to talk. 793 00:58:50,032 --> 00:58:54,401 - Honey, I'm superstitious! - Please, just let me in. 794 00:59:07,433 --> 00:59:09,560 What's the matter? Did something happen? 795 00:59:11,700 --> 00:59:13,691 You're having a pre-wedding panic attack? 796 00:59:13,833 --> 00:59:16,199 Don't patronize me, OK? 797 00:59:20,067 --> 00:59:23,696 - Lila, I love you. - I love you, too. 798 00:59:23,833 --> 00:59:26,233 Yeah, but why? 799 00:59:26,367 --> 00:59:30,497 'Cause you're smart. And charming and handsome. 800 00:59:30,634 --> 00:59:33,194 And you make me feel safe and happy. 801 00:59:33,334 --> 00:59:34,528 And, when I'm with you, 802 00:59:34,668 --> 00:59:38,331 even the most tedious things are fun and exciting. 803 00:59:38,467 --> 00:59:40,560 And you're a very good kisser. 804 00:59:40,701 --> 00:59:42,965 - Thank you. - It's true. 805 00:59:44,568 --> 00:59:45,967 Why do you love me? 806 00:59:51,769 --> 00:59:54,329 That's the thing. I don't... 807 00:59:54,468 --> 00:59:58,996 - I don't know. - I'm sorry. What? 808 01:00:03,636 --> 01:00:06,298 I'm so confused right now, I... 809 01:00:06,436 --> 01:00:09,735 - You're not doing this now. - Why not now? 810 01:00:09,870 --> 01:00:13,397 - lsn't now better than later? - OK. 811 01:00:13,536 --> 01:00:17,438 I'll tell you why you love me. Because you need me. 812 01:00:18,670 --> 01:00:20,900 - We're so different. - Yes, we are. 813 01:00:21,037 --> 01:00:23,301 And when you're not behaving like a total freak, 814 01:00:23,437 --> 01:00:25,428 it's what makes us work. 815 01:00:25,570 --> 01:00:28,471 - OK, you're patronizing me again. - No, I'm not. 816 01:00:28,604 --> 01:00:32,870 Why is emotion some kind of a mental illness with you? 817 01:00:33,004 --> 01:00:36,633 It is if you indulge in it all the time. 818 01:00:38,871 --> 01:00:41,499 Don't you think I want to freak out? 819 01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:44,129 Don't you think I want to lose my shit? 820 01:00:44,271 --> 01:00:46,637 Why do you get to be the one that drinks too much, 821 01:00:46,772 --> 01:00:52,404 that says scandalous things, that has wild mood swings? 822 01:00:52,538 --> 01:00:53,800 Has it ever occurred to you 823 01:00:53,938 --> 01:00:56,907 that those are freedoms afforded to you by me? 824 01:00:57,039 --> 01:01:00,406 Has it ever occurred to you that my emotions are just as intense? 825 01:01:00,539 --> 01:01:03,030 I just work harder to control them. 826 01:01:03,172 --> 01:01:05,834 But why? You don't have to. I wish that you would lose it more. 827 01:01:05,972 --> 01:01:09,840 Who? Who should I lose it to? My mom? My brother? You? 828 01:01:09,973 --> 01:01:13,204 Take a look around you, Tom. Somebody's gotta keep their cool. 829 01:01:22,073 --> 01:01:26,134 I just... I need you to hold it together for another 1 2 hours. 830 01:01:26,273 --> 01:01:30,972 - Can you do that for me? - Yeah, I think so. 831 01:01:31,373 --> 01:01:32,897 OK. 832 01:01:34,007 --> 01:01:36,066 Now go find Pete and Jake 833 01:01:36,207 --> 01:01:39,608 and have a good talk before you cause us any more bad luck. 834 01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:42,002 OK. 835 01:02:08,208 --> 01:02:10,699 William, wake up. I'm in a panic. 836 01:02:10,842 --> 01:02:12,332 What's wrong? 837 01:02:13,276 --> 01:02:15,107 It's going to rain. 838 01:02:17,309 --> 01:02:20,608 - Augusta, come on. - William, will you wake up? 839 01:02:20,743 --> 01:02:22,267 I'm up. 840 01:02:49,045 --> 01:02:52,606 Who do you think helped sculpt the ice penis... 841 01:02:52,744 --> 01:02:54,837 I did. I did. I... 842 01:02:54,978 --> 01:02:57,139 - Get out of town. - I designed it. 843 01:02:57,278 --> 01:02:59,405 Listen, the wildest thing that you've ever done... 844 01:02:59,545 --> 01:03:01,069 I designed it. 845 01:03:01,211 --> 01:03:04,578 ...is roll down your window on the drive up here. 846 01:03:05,345 --> 01:03:07,142 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 847 01:03:07,278 --> 01:03:10,247 - Is that a challenge? - And what if it is? 848 01:03:11,379 --> 01:03:13,438 I'll race you to the front porch. 849 01:03:14,546 --> 01:03:16,173 We're talking fully dressed? 850 01:03:16,945 --> 01:03:20,346 Fuck that. Buck naked. 851 01:03:20,479 --> 01:03:22,947 - Weesie. I like this. - Yeah. 852 01:03:23,079 --> 01:03:24,569 - Yeah. Let's do it. - It's a new you. 853 01:03:24,713 --> 01:03:26,044 - Now we're talking. - Take it off. 854 01:03:26,180 --> 01:03:28,614 You know, I haven't done anything worthwhile since I was 1 8. 855 01:03:28,746 --> 01:03:30,907 What'd you do when you were 1 8? 856 01:03:31,047 --> 01:03:33,641 Cheated on my SATs and got into Yale. 857 01:03:33,780 --> 01:03:35,645 Yeah, I was headed for greatness. 858 01:03:35,780 --> 01:03:37,611 - Now I'm just headed for a breakdown. - Oh, really? 859 01:03:37,747 --> 01:03:39,112 Yeah. 860 01:03:40,947 --> 01:03:43,609 Yeah. No, now is where you say, 861 01:03:43,747 --> 01:03:45,942 ''You know what, Trip? You're a great actress.'' 862 01:03:46,081 --> 01:03:48,515 And I say, ''You know what? Your novel is gonna change the world.'' 863 01:03:48,647 --> 01:03:52,549 Oh, yeah? You know what, Trip? Great actress. 864 01:03:52,681 --> 01:03:54,478 And your novel is gonna... 865 01:05:01,217 --> 01:05:03,617 We don't really have to do this. 866 01:05:05,685 --> 01:05:07,346 Yeah, let's not. 867 01:05:09,751 --> 01:05:11,309 Funny idea, though. 868 01:05:15,519 --> 01:05:17,419 You're not getting off that easy. 869 01:05:31,186 --> 01:05:34,019 I'm alive! 870 01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:39,250 - Oh, shit, let go. Let's get out. - What? Wait! 871 01:05:45,887 --> 01:05:46,979 Minnow? 872 01:05:53,688 --> 01:05:57,556 No, no, no, no. 873 01:05:57,688 --> 01:06:00,714 - Minnow! - Look what I did, accidentally. 874 01:06:00,854 --> 01:06:03,755 OK, OK, calm down. Calm down. 875 01:06:04,654 --> 01:06:06,383 She's probably gonna come up here in the morning. 876 01:06:06,521 --> 01:06:07,886 I'm thinking. 877 01:06:08,021 --> 01:06:10,615 OK. OK. OK. This is what we're gonna do. 878 01:06:10,754 --> 01:06:12,119 OK. 879 01:06:12,255 --> 01:06:16,089 You're gonna count to 1 00. I'm gonna go downstairs. 880 01:06:16,221 --> 01:06:17,813 And when you hear me go into Lila's room, 881 01:06:17,955 --> 01:06:19,217 you're gonna make a break for it. 882 01:06:19,355 --> 01:06:23,815 And we are gonna deal with this tomorrow. 883 01:06:23,955 --> 01:06:25,252 Start counting. 884 01:06:31,022 --> 01:06:33,786 One, two, three... 885 01:06:34,589 --> 01:06:37,183 - Laura, Trip, you're late! - Just me. 886 01:06:37,923 --> 01:06:40,289 - You said you'd be here at midnight. - Yeah, I know. 887 01:06:40,423 --> 01:06:43,483 We're druggie loser assholes. I'm so sorry. 888 01:06:43,623 --> 01:06:44,885 Where is everyone? 889 01:06:45,790 --> 01:06:50,523 We all had so much to drink, I doubt anyone's still standing. 890 01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:10,049 Dude! 891 01:07:10,191 --> 01:07:13,752 I just... I guess we'll never get your alternative lifestyle, dude. 892 01:07:13,892 --> 01:07:16,452 - What's up, dude? - What's up, man? 893 01:07:16,591 --> 01:07:19,560 Hey, you want a sweater or something? 894 01:07:19,692 --> 01:07:24,561 I ain't a for-real cowboy, but I am one hell of a stud. 895 01:07:24,692 --> 01:07:26,250 Here you go, sir. 896 01:07:27,526 --> 01:07:29,460 Hey, is this cashmere? 897 01:07:32,459 --> 01:07:33,483 I'm so sorry. 898 01:07:34,759 --> 01:07:35,748 It's fine. 899 01:07:35,893 --> 01:07:37,417 Where's Laura? 900 01:07:38,859 --> 01:07:41,953 God, I don't know where she is. 901 01:07:42,093 --> 01:07:44,459 Actually, I saw her go into the house about an hour ago. 902 01:07:44,592 --> 01:07:46,719 So she said she was going to sleep. 903 01:07:48,993 --> 01:07:52,520 What is up with the toga situation? 904 01:07:53,860 --> 01:07:55,327 Don't ask. 905 01:07:58,261 --> 01:07:59,523 What? It's... 906 01:07:59,660 --> 01:08:01,321 - I couldn't find my... - Dress? 907 01:08:02,261 --> 01:08:04,559 It's... How are you? 908 01:08:52,163 --> 01:08:55,462 - Any luck? - No. You? 909 01:08:59,496 --> 01:09:01,191 - No. - This is bad. 910 01:09:02,330 --> 01:09:04,560 I'm sure Chip and Laura found him by now. 911 01:09:04,698 --> 01:09:06,791 Yeah, if they're even still together. 912 01:09:06,930 --> 01:09:09,228 Lila's gonna kill us. 913 01:09:10,864 --> 01:09:12,092 We should tell her. 914 01:09:12,230 --> 01:09:15,028 No, we should not tell her 'cause she's gonna freak out. 915 01:09:15,165 --> 01:09:16,792 That would be an appropriate response, don't you think? 916 01:09:16,931 --> 01:09:18,626 Why are you trying to cover your butt? 917 01:09:18,764 --> 01:09:20,391 I'm not trying to cover my butt. I did nothing wrong. 918 01:09:20,531 --> 01:09:22,999 You guys, you guys, just give him a few more hours. 919 01:09:23,131 --> 01:09:25,929 There's no point in getting Lila worked up if we can avoid it. 920 01:09:26,699 --> 01:09:28,826 Exactly my point. 921 01:09:30,065 --> 01:09:32,659 All right. Everybody in favor of telling Lila? 922 01:09:32,799 --> 01:09:34,164 No. 923 01:09:35,899 --> 01:09:37,992 Everybody in favor of not telling Lila. 924 01:09:39,499 --> 01:09:42,900 Fine. Let's just wait until it's light. 925 01:09:43,499 --> 01:09:45,467 - OK. - OK. 926 01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:49,461 - All right. - OK. 927 01:11:11,204 --> 01:11:13,434 ''Forlorn. 928 01:11:13,570 --> 01:11:16,232 The very word is like a bell tolling me back from thee 929 01:11:16,371 --> 01:11:20,330 to my sole self. Adieu. 930 01:11:20,471 --> 01:11:25,067 The fancy cannot cheat so well as she is famed to do, deceiving elf. 931 01:11:25,204 --> 01:11:30,938 Adieu, adieu, thy plaintive anthem fades past the near meadows, 932 01:11:31,072 --> 01:11:34,303 over the still stream, up the hillside 933 01:11:34,439 --> 01:11:39,206 and now 'tis buried deep in the next valley glades. 934 01:11:39,338 --> 01:11:41,932 Was it a vision or a waking dream? 935 01:11:42,072 --> 01:11:46,702 Fled is that music. Do I wake or do I sleep?'' 936 01:13:27,977 --> 01:13:30,207 Look, there's Lo. 937 01:13:31,944 --> 01:13:35,402 - Hey. - Have you seen him? 938 01:13:35,545 --> 01:13:37,445 Us, either. We're gonna tell Lila right now. 939 01:13:37,578 --> 01:13:39,512 - Wait. - What is it? Where were you last night? 940 01:13:39,645 --> 01:13:42,375 - Where were you last night? - Oh, my God. You were with him. 941 01:13:42,511 --> 01:13:43,876 - Trip, leave her alone. - No, she was. 942 01:13:44,012 --> 01:13:45,570 Why do you think that? 943 01:13:45,712 --> 01:13:47,976 We don't have time for this right now. Let's go. 944 01:13:49,112 --> 01:13:50,306 Come on. 945 01:14:51,048 --> 01:14:52,379 Minnow! 946 01:15:00,115 --> 01:15:02,276 Look what she did. 947 01:15:02,415 --> 01:15:05,282 Oh, darling, that's... 948 01:15:05,415 --> 01:15:07,212 That's... We have enough time. It can be fixed. 949 01:15:07,349 --> 01:15:11,149 Really. This will be fine. I can fix this. 950 01:15:11,283 --> 01:15:12,443 Lila, don't. Don't! 951 01:15:12,583 --> 01:15:15,575 She didn't... Lila, she didn't mean it! God! 952 01:15:27,284 --> 01:15:28,979 You're so dead! 953 01:15:29,683 --> 01:15:31,150 Stop! 954 01:15:35,551 --> 01:15:37,485 Li, there's something we need to tell you. 955 01:15:37,617 --> 01:15:39,346 What is it? 956 01:15:40,051 --> 01:15:41,780 - Tom's missing. - Last night... 957 01:15:41,918 --> 01:15:44,011 No, he's not. 958 01:15:45,018 --> 01:15:48,715 - I saw Tom last night. - Are you kidding me? That's great! 959 01:15:48,851 --> 01:15:51,445 - Where is he now? - There he is! 960 01:15:55,685 --> 01:15:59,212 - Hey! - I looked there. 961 01:15:59,785 --> 01:16:01,275 You didn't look hard enough. 962 01:16:01,819 --> 01:16:03,252 - Are you ready? - Yeah. 963 01:16:06,119 --> 01:16:07,108 Big swim you went for. 964 01:16:07,252 --> 01:16:09,345 Oh, no, it's bad luck for you to see each other 965 01:16:09,486 --> 01:16:11,477 - before the wedding. - Weesie, shut up. 966 01:16:18,986 --> 01:16:20,476 I'm gonna go get ready. 967 01:16:24,853 --> 01:16:26,445 - I am, too. - OK. 968 01:17:06,489 --> 01:17:08,616 Lila? Honey? 969 01:18:02,125 --> 01:18:03,592 Hey. 970 01:18:03,725 --> 01:18:05,192 Hey. 971 01:18:06,025 --> 01:18:07,754 - You good? - Yeah. 972 01:18:07,891 --> 01:18:10,985 - Yeah. - Got your lucky tie there? 973 01:18:13,592 --> 01:18:15,651 I don't know. 974 01:18:15,792 --> 01:18:18,488 You having some trouble tying the knot there, buddy? 975 01:18:22,259 --> 01:18:23,749 I'll be here all night. 976 01:18:24,460 --> 01:18:28,089 - You might wanna shave. - Shit, I forgot to shave too. OK. 977 01:18:28,226 --> 01:18:29,921 What do you guys think of the hair? 978 01:18:30,059 --> 01:18:31,185 There? 979 01:18:33,760 --> 01:18:35,455 - Or... - Or there? 980 01:18:38,927 --> 01:18:40,292 Choose a side. 981 01:19:23,429 --> 01:19:25,989 Where have you been? I'm gonna need help with my zipper. 982 01:19:29,362 --> 01:19:30,761 - How's my makeup? - Revolting. 983 01:19:30,896 --> 01:19:32,227 - And the hair? - Trashy. 984 01:19:32,362 --> 01:19:34,557 - You've seen my dress? - Tacky choice. 985 01:19:34,696 --> 01:19:37,563 Thank you. OK, perfect. 986 01:19:39,063 --> 01:19:40,553 Oh, my God! 987 01:19:41,363 --> 01:19:43,524 I'm getting married! 988 01:19:45,630 --> 01:19:48,599 Minnow? Come on in! 989 01:19:51,464 --> 01:19:52,954 You look beautiful. 990 01:19:53,098 --> 01:19:55,828 Oh, shit. I left my bouquets downstairs. Could someone go get them? 991 01:19:55,964 --> 01:19:57,488 - I will. - Thank you. 992 01:19:58,630 --> 01:20:00,621 All right. Dress. 993 01:20:00,764 --> 01:20:03,631 - I believe I need to get dressed. - Yes, let's do that. 994 01:21:06,868 --> 01:21:08,335 There you are. Thank goodness. 995 01:21:08,468 --> 01:21:10,834 I was starting to think you'd run off with those. 996 01:21:10,968 --> 01:21:13,869 - Minnow? - I'm sorry. 997 01:21:14,001 --> 01:21:15,059 It's fine. You were just in time. 998 01:21:15,202 --> 01:21:17,432 No, not about the flowers. 999 01:21:20,235 --> 01:21:21,429 I saw Tom last night. 1000 01:21:22,669 --> 01:21:25,729 That's nice. Did you two get a chance to catch up? 1001 01:21:25,869 --> 01:21:27,530 I found him when he was missing. 1002 01:21:27,669 --> 01:21:29,330 Guess those years as a Girl Scout paid off. 1003 01:21:29,469 --> 01:21:32,597 No, he wasn't lost. He was hiding. 1004 01:21:32,736 --> 01:21:34,328 I know all about his meltdown. 1005 01:21:34,470 --> 01:21:35,937 That's not what I mean. 1006 01:21:36,069 --> 01:21:37,764 Honey, you look so beautiful. 1007 01:21:37,902 --> 01:21:39,665 Girls, it's time to process. Let's go. 1008 01:21:39,802 --> 01:21:40,860 What do you mean? 1009 01:21:45,203 --> 01:21:48,468 I mean, Tom wasn't alone last night. He was with me. 1010 01:21:48,603 --> 01:21:50,264 We were together. 1011 01:21:50,403 --> 01:21:52,667 Why are you telling me this right now? This doesn't concern me. 1012 01:21:52,803 --> 01:21:54,100 - It doesn't? - Laura... 1013 01:21:54,237 --> 01:21:55,329 Trip, why don't we go... 1014 01:21:55,471 --> 01:21:56,665 He's a groom. I'd be concerned 1015 01:21:56,803 --> 01:21:58,293 if he wasn't a wreck the night before his wedding. 1016 01:21:58,437 --> 01:22:00,997 If he was in love with someone else, would that concern you? 1017 01:22:01,137 --> 01:22:03,401 Laura, this chapter is over. 1018 01:22:06,471 --> 01:22:12,467 - Li. I love him. - Yes. And I feel sorry for you. 1019 01:22:14,904 --> 01:22:18,704 You know I have tried to change these feelings. 1020 01:22:19,438 --> 01:22:21,133 I've done everything. 1021 01:22:21,271 --> 01:22:25,037 Other guys, other towns, other jobs. 1022 01:22:26,438 --> 01:22:29,066 And they say that it gets easier with time, but it doesn't. 1023 01:22:29,206 --> 01:22:31,936 If anything, the more time passes, the more I miss him. 1024 01:22:32,072 --> 01:22:35,007 Unrequited love is the perfect romantic construct. 1025 01:22:35,139 --> 01:22:37,630 It allows two cowardly people to act out a fantasy of love 1026 01:22:37,773 --> 01:22:40,264 without having to face any real consequences. 1027 01:22:40,406 --> 01:22:42,203 Li, you know he feels the same way. 1028 01:22:42,339 --> 01:22:44,307 He always has, and you know that. 1029 01:22:44,439 --> 01:22:45,906 - You are my maid of honor! - Yeah. 1030 01:22:46,040 --> 01:22:49,601 And I have done everything I possibly can to fulfill that obligation. 1031 01:22:49,740 --> 01:22:52,903 I thought that I could get through this. I did. 1032 01:22:53,040 --> 01:22:54,507 But I can't, and he can't, either. 1033 01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:58,201 - He doesn't want this, either. - You remember sophomore year? 1034 01:22:58,340 --> 01:23:00,365 The Lit Christmas party when you wore my dress? 1035 01:23:00,507 --> 01:23:03,476 The red one I bought especially for the event? 1036 01:23:03,607 --> 01:23:05,837 You took that, too, without asking. 1037 01:23:05,974 --> 01:23:07,566 And then when I went to get ready for the event, 1038 01:23:07,707 --> 01:23:09,834 - my dress was missing. - You know what? 1039 01:23:09,974 --> 01:23:12,408 I picked that dress out. When we were on Chapel Street, 1040 01:23:12,541 --> 01:23:16,705 we saw it in the window of Nelly's, and you remember I picked it out 1041 01:23:16,841 --> 01:23:19,742 and then you went back and you bought it. I was the editor of Lit. 1042 01:23:19,875 --> 01:23:22,571 It was my night. It was my occasion. 1043 01:23:22,708 --> 01:23:26,439 Or the time I got the apple tattoo and then a week later you got the same one? 1044 01:23:26,575 --> 01:23:29,567 You saw me draw that in 1 9th Century Novel, OK? 1045 01:23:29,708 --> 01:23:31,175 And then, all of a sudden, you show up 1046 01:23:31,309 --> 01:23:32,936 and you have it branded on your tailbone. 1047 01:23:33,075 --> 01:23:35,566 Freshmen, sophomore, every year of college, 1048 01:23:35,709 --> 01:23:38,576 when I provided you months of meticulous notes 1049 01:23:38,709 --> 01:23:41,507 hours before the finals, you feel entitled to my things... 1050 01:23:41,642 --> 01:23:46,238 - Mine, mine! - ...because you want them! 1051 01:23:46,375 --> 01:23:48,343 Yeah. Fine, you win, Lila. 1052 01:23:48,476 --> 01:23:51,445 You provided me with the meticulous study notes. 1053 01:23:51,577 --> 01:23:54,671 But you know what? I inspired your best ideas. 1054 01:23:54,809 --> 01:23:58,836 And when you got together with Tom, senior spring, I was still dating him. 1055 01:23:58,977 --> 01:24:00,945 Why are you doing this to me right now? 1056 01:24:01,077 --> 01:24:04,069 Because you're about to marry a man, and I don't think you should. 1057 01:24:04,211 --> 01:24:06,304 You just can't bear to see me happy, 1058 01:24:06,443 --> 01:24:08,638 and so you have to trash it with your emotions. 1059 01:24:08,777 --> 01:24:13,305 No, Li. You deserve to be with someone who is in love with you, 1060 01:24:13,444 --> 01:24:15,071 totally and completely. 1061 01:24:15,211 --> 01:24:17,475 How dare you try to pass this off as an act of friendship. 1062 01:24:17,611 --> 01:24:20,171 - This is sabotage. - No, this takes courage. 1063 01:24:20,311 --> 01:24:23,405 Courage?! That's funny. 1064 01:24:23,544 --> 01:24:27,708 - I am not trying to hurt you. - Yes, you are. 1065 01:24:27,845 --> 01:24:30,541 That is your intention. This has nothing to do with Tom. 1066 01:24:30,678 --> 01:24:32,942 It's about me and you and your envy! 1067 01:24:36,846 --> 01:24:38,404 No. 1068 01:24:39,946 --> 01:24:44,474 You can't do this. You can't! You can't bully me anymore. 1069 01:24:45,412 --> 01:24:47,243 Obviously, I am torn. 1070 01:24:47,379 --> 01:24:50,473 And as your friend, I do want what is best for you. 1071 01:24:50,613 --> 01:24:53,776 But I can't keep putting you ahead of me forever. 1072 01:24:53,912 --> 01:24:58,178 My God, you're delusional. You actually believe you're entitled to my fiancé! 1073 01:24:58,947 --> 01:25:02,246 This is not a difficult or complicated situation, Laura. 1074 01:25:02,379 --> 01:25:06,713 This is very simple. I won and you're jealous. 1075 01:25:07,680 --> 01:25:08,806 Jealous? 1076 01:25:12,013 --> 01:25:13,947 No. 1077 01:25:15,180 --> 01:25:17,273 I pity you. 1078 01:25:19,247 --> 01:25:21,112 Your groom is in love with another woman. 1079 01:25:22,647 --> 01:25:25,172 He asked me to marry him. 1080 01:25:25,315 --> 01:25:26,373 Not you. 1081 01:25:35,715 --> 01:25:37,478 All this is... 1082 01:25:38,148 --> 01:25:40,082 ...certainly tragic. 1083 01:25:40,216 --> 01:25:44,619 Debatably interesting, but it really doesn't matter anymore, 1084 01:25:44,749 --> 01:25:47,013 because he's marrying me in ten minutes. 1085 01:25:50,516 --> 01:25:52,814 Li, he cheated on you. 1086 01:25:56,216 --> 01:25:57,877 No. 1087 01:25:59,150 --> 01:26:00,640 You did. 1088 01:26:02,382 --> 01:26:05,112 Oh, my God! Can I move yet? 1089 01:26:41,451 --> 01:26:43,578 I'm sorry about last night. 1090 01:26:45,085 --> 01:26:46,609 I was out of line. 1091 01:26:48,219 --> 01:26:50,119 Yeah, you were. 1092 01:26:51,719 --> 01:26:54,187 Maybe I do need that ankle bracelet. 1093 01:26:56,153 --> 01:26:59,281 Seriously. I'm really sorry. 1094 01:28:02,189 --> 01:28:03,486 Thank you. 1095 01:28:22,990 --> 01:28:27,359 Love is like the ocean. Vast, seemingly endless. 1096 01:28:27,491 --> 01:28:31,689 Rocky, at times. Peaceful, at others. 1097 01:28:31,824 --> 01:28:35,521 Daunting for all its unexplored depths, 1098 01:28:35,657 --> 01:28:39,684 but a constant source of wonder and amazement. 1099 01:28:41,325 --> 01:28:44,988 Tom and Lila have written their own vows, 1100 01:28:45,125 --> 01:28:48,219 in an expression of their creativity. 1101 01:28:52,458 --> 01:28:53,925 Lila... 1102 01:28:57,226 --> 01:28:59,091 Lila, when I... 1103 01:29:00,426 --> 01:29:03,452 Lila... When I look at you... 1104 01:29:04,326 --> 01:29:07,159 ...I'm speechless. 1105 01:29:08,726 --> 01:29:11,627 I literally have nothing to say. 1106 01:29:15,926 --> 01:29:17,791 You know, I... 1107 01:29:17,926 --> 01:29:19,826 If I... 1108 01:29:25,894 --> 01:29:27,088 Did you feel that? 1109 01:29:27,227 --> 01:29:30,924 What? No, I didn't. 1110 01:29:31,061 --> 01:29:36,556 Lila, words fail the depth and complexity of my feelings for you. 1111 01:29:38,660 --> 01:29:40,321 I need canons of literature, 1112 01:29:40,461 --> 01:29:44,329 unwritten books, an entirely new language. 1113 01:29:51,361 --> 01:29:55,297 But the thing is, without words, I have nothing. 1114 01:29:57,561 --> 01:29:59,153 I have nothing. 1115 01:30:01,496 --> 01:30:04,761 You know, I... If I... 1116 01:30:06,295 --> 01:30:07,762 Maybe I should say it for you. 1117 01:30:22,330 --> 01:30:24,127 Get the dress!