1 00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:46,284 [MUMBLING AND GRUNTING] 2 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,422 [GROWLS] 3 00:01:06,768 --> 00:01:10,875 As soon as you feed, Senator, you won't need these anymore. 4 00:01:22,314 --> 00:01:23,794 Holy shit! 5 00:01:23,815 --> 00:01:25,296 [GROWLING] 6 00:01:25,315 --> 00:01:27,264 It's the attack of Grandpa Munster! 7 00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:29,497 [FIRES] 8 00:01:33,625 --> 00:01:35,175 Gross. 9 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,638 Damn it. 10 00:01:38,596 --> 00:01:41,373 Sorry to ruin your party, Senator. 11 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,303 Don't worry, we'll have you outta here in two minutes. 12 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,778 - Thank you. - [ALAN NEARBY]: Edgar! Aah! 13 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,885 Alan? Alan! 14 00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:54,156 Alan! 15 00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:57,692 [FIRES] 16 00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:01,261 [SCREAMING] 17 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,927 Alan. 18 00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:06,035 Alan. Alan, are you okay? 19 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,506 [GROWLS] 20 00:02:08,793 --> 00:02:11,376 No. No, Alan, no. No, Alan! 21 00:02:11,396 --> 00:02:12,571 Alan! 22 00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,178 [CREEPY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV] 23 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,512 I am a vampire. 24 00:02:18,536 --> 00:02:22,646 Oh, yeah? Well, abracadabra. I'm an umpire. 25 00:02:23,074 --> 00:02:25,157 [VAMPIRE ON TV]: Hocus pocus. 26 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:33,027 Mr. Frog? 27 00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:35,360 Yeah? 28 00:02:35,654 --> 00:02:37,135 Were you sleeping? 29 00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:39,535 I work nights. 30 00:02:39,557 --> 00:02:42,641 - Apparently not hard enough. - Hmm. 31 00:02:42,659 --> 00:02:44,402 You're in default on your loans... 32 00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:47,046 and the bank is repossessing this property. 33 00:02:47,331 --> 00:02:49,177 This would include any... 34 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,202 structure currently on the property as well. 35 00:02:51,203 --> 00:02:52,377 [EDGAR SCOFFS] 36 00:02:52,404 --> 00:02:55,316 - Are you serious? - You have one week to vacate. 37 00:02:57,674 --> 00:02:59,850 Have a good day. 38 00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:04,056 Fucking vampires. 39 00:03:04,081 --> 00:03:05,995 [CAR STARTS] 40 00:03:11,855 --> 00:03:13,735 [INDUSTRIAL MUSIC PLAYING] 41 00:05:29,022 --> 00:05:31,469 - [FRANK]: Cash or store credit? - [EDGAR]: Cash. 42 00:05:33,862 --> 00:05:36,537 Comes to 65 even. 43 00:05:36,564 --> 00:05:38,147 Sixty-five dollars? 44 00:05:38,165 --> 00:05:42,069 Are you kidding me? I mean, this issue of Destroy All Vampires number 125... 45 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:45,017 in nearly mint condition is worth 50 bucks alone. 46 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,987 In near-mint condition. 47 00:05:47,274 --> 00:05:51,326 I know near-mint condition and that ain't it. 48 00:05:51,344 --> 00:05:54,728 What are you talking about? I haven't even opened this book. 49 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:57,765 It's been boarded and bagged since the day I got it. 50 00:05:57,786 --> 00:05:59,094 Well, let's have a look. 51 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:03,672 There are stress marks at the staple points. 52 00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:07,538 The, uh, cover has lost at least 15 percent of its gloss... 53 00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:09,235 the pages are yellow... 54 00:06:09,262 --> 00:06:11,814 and there's significant rubbing and fading at the corners. 55 00:06:11,832 --> 00:06:13,005 [EDGAR]: Hmm. 56 00:06:13,032 --> 00:06:16,742 Now, if you were willing to part with that Batman number 14... 57 00:06:16,768 --> 00:06:19,444 I, uh... might be able to do a little bit better. 58 00:06:19,472 --> 00:06:20,817 [EDGAR]: That's not gonna happen. 59 00:06:20,842 --> 00:06:23,789 Happens to have some sentimental value to it. 60 00:06:23,811 --> 00:06:25,223 That's my offer, Frog. 61 00:06:25,245 --> 00:06:27,124 Take it or leave it. 62 00:06:29,382 --> 00:06:31,396 All right, pay me. 63 00:06:33,919 --> 00:06:35,127 Have a nice day. 64 00:06:36,589 --> 00:06:37,966 [EDGAR]: I hate happy people. 65 00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:39,836 [DOOR OPENS] 66 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:42,068 - Hmm. - Hey, Edgar. 67 00:06:42,096 --> 00:06:44,076 Did you make any money off of Frank? 68 00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:47,914 Are you kidding? He gave me 65 bucks for everything. 69 00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:50,347 Ugh. He's such a cheapskate. 70 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:51,646 Here, let me see. 71 00:06:54,271 --> 00:06:55,445 Uh... not that one. 72 00:06:57,378 --> 00:06:59,653 But there's still some good stuff in here. 73 00:07:00,178 --> 00:07:02,818 You want me to put it up on eBay, see what I can get? 74 00:07:03,213 --> 00:07:06,766 Uh... sure, why not. 75 00:07:06,786 --> 00:07:09,200 Every little bit helps right now. 76 00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:11,341 Where do I find the graphic novels? 77 00:07:11,358 --> 00:07:12,839 You mean comic books. 78 00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:16,172 No, I mean graphic novels. 79 00:07:16,195 --> 00:07:18,574 I don't read comic books. I'm not a geek. 80 00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:21,409 - [EDGAR]: Hmm. - Oh, well, I can't help you then. 81 00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,948 Here at the Book O'Neer, geek is chic. 82 00:07:23,969 --> 00:07:26,487 - Try Barnes & Noble. - [JOHNNY]: Whatever. 83 00:07:26,507 --> 00:07:29,181 I guess you don't want me to spend any money here. 84 00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:30,848 [JOHNNY SCOFFS] 85 00:07:32,711 --> 00:07:35,625 That guy gets on my last nerve. 86 00:07:35,648 --> 00:07:38,028 - You know him? - By reputation only. 87 00:07:38,317 --> 00:07:40,366 His name is Jonny Trash. 88 00:07:40,385 --> 00:07:42,197 He's a celebrity blogger. 89 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,601 What the hell is he doing here in San Cazador? 90 00:07:44,624 --> 00:07:47,866 - They're here for the X-Party. - The X-Party? 91 00:07:47,892 --> 00:07:50,102 - What's that? - A rave. 92 00:07:50,129 --> 00:07:51,506 And it's gonna be here? 93 00:07:51,531 --> 00:07:53,113 If you believe the rumors. 94 00:07:53,131 --> 00:07:57,149 But they're not telling anyone where it's gonna be until the night of the event. 95 00:07:57,169 --> 00:07:58,547 Great. 96 00:07:58,569 --> 00:08:02,177 Sounds like the finial nail in my coffin. 97 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:06,383 What?... 98 00:08:08,513 --> 00:08:09,686 [SIGHS] 99 00:08:09,713 --> 00:08:11,024 Bye. 100 00:08:22,761 --> 00:08:24,137 Oh, shit! 101 00:08:28,131 --> 00:08:29,375 [TRUCK SPUTTERS] 102 00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:31,743 Who the hell parked?... 103 00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:32,941 My truck. 104 00:08:32,968 --> 00:08:37,579 You sure don't look like a cold-blooded, meaner-than-hell, badass vampire killer. 105 00:08:37,608 --> 00:08:39,418 Excuse me? 106 00:08:39,444 --> 00:08:41,390 You're Edgar Frog. 107 00:08:41,412 --> 00:08:45,498 Sworn enemy to night crawlers and bloodsuckers the world over. 108 00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:48,390 I'm sorry, lady. 109 00:08:48,419 --> 00:08:51,003 You must have me confused with somebody else. 110 00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:52,728 I'm Gwen. Gwen Lieber. 111 00:08:56,226 --> 00:08:59,710 - Hi. - And there is no confusion. 112 00:08:59,729 --> 00:09:02,278 You are the same Edgar Frog that destroyed covens... 113 00:09:02,296 --> 00:09:06,645 in Santa Carla, Luna Bay and in Washington, D.C. 114 00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:12,282 I have no idea what you're talking about. 115 00:09:14,076 --> 00:09:16,195 Can we go inside to talk? 116 00:09:19,148 --> 00:09:21,393 You got two minutes. 117 00:09:24,088 --> 00:09:26,797 It's my brother, Peter. 118 00:09:26,822 --> 00:09:28,906 He's been kidnapped. 119 00:09:29,993 --> 00:09:32,667 A couple of years ago, he started getting into trouble. 120 00:09:32,694 --> 00:09:35,039 He was hanging out with all the wrong kind of people. 121 00:09:35,062 --> 00:09:36,304 [EDGAR]: Hmm. 122 00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:42,284 And three weeks ago, he went to Ibiza to this rave party thing... 123 00:09:42,338 --> 00:09:43,886 and he disappeared. 124 00:09:44,039 --> 00:09:46,159 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING] 125 00:09:58,353 --> 00:10:02,634 [GWEN]: He started following around this guy, DJ X. 126 00:10:02,927 --> 00:10:04,974 He throws these events called X-Parties. 127 00:10:06,927 --> 00:10:09,343 [EDGAR]: Yeah, I've heard of him. 128 00:10:16,438 --> 00:10:18,078 Hi. 129 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,614 [GWEN]: The same people that are throwing this party... 130 00:10:21,642 --> 00:10:24,693 are throwing similar parties all over the world. 131 00:10:24,712 --> 00:10:29,493 And at these raves, they're handing out this new designer drug. 132 00:10:29,518 --> 00:10:33,161 It's called the Thirst. 133 00:10:33,188 --> 00:10:36,568 - It comes in little ampoules like this one. - [EDGAR]: Why would I care about... 134 00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:39,539 a bunch of drug addicts with glow sticks? 135 00:10:39,561 --> 00:10:41,611 Because the Thirst is not a drug. 136 00:10:46,535 --> 00:10:49,018 It's vampire blood. 137 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:57,785 [CHOKING] 138 00:11:22,636 --> 00:11:24,584 Nobody has seen him since. 139 00:11:25,406 --> 00:11:29,547 Edgar, they are using these raves to breed an army of vampires. 140 00:11:29,575 --> 00:11:32,125 They're creating their own global pandemic. 141 00:11:32,145 --> 00:11:34,923 They've already infected hundreds in Spain. 142 00:11:34,948 --> 00:11:38,555 Done the same in Thailand, Rio and in Greece. 143 00:11:38,583 --> 00:11:41,260 And now the rumors say that they're on their way here. 144 00:11:45,225 --> 00:11:46,774 I'm not interested. 145 00:11:47,193 --> 00:11:49,937 Look, I would obviously pay you for your trouble. 146 00:11:49,963 --> 00:11:54,173 And this could well be the last time that you would have to do something like this. 147 00:11:54,199 --> 00:11:56,078 All of my research suggests... 148 00:11:56,102 --> 00:12:00,711 that the Thirst is made from the blood of the head vampire. 149 00:12:00,739 --> 00:12:03,687 - The head vampire. - The bloodsucking alpha. 150 00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:05,610 - The alpha. - From the Greek, "root"... 151 00:12:05,611 --> 00:12:06,852 meaning the first. 152 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,025 The original. 153 00:12:10,449 --> 00:12:11,623 I knew that. 154 00:12:16,556 --> 00:12:18,607 I'm still not interested. 155 00:12:21,261 --> 00:12:23,504 And your two minutes are up. 156 00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:29,682 I'm staying at the Hotel Cazador. 157 00:12:32,806 --> 00:12:34,651 I truly hope that you'll reconsider. 158 00:12:36,975 --> 00:12:39,221 I know you couldn't save your brother... 159 00:12:40,044 --> 00:12:43,357 but, Edgar, maybe you can help me save mine. 160 00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:51,632 [EDGAR]: Hmph. 161 00:13:05,271 --> 00:13:08,444 Go and check on our guest, would you? 162 00:13:15,781 --> 00:13:17,727 [WHEEZING] 163 00:13:20,085 --> 00:13:23,692 Hi, handsome. How are you feeling? 164 00:13:23,721 --> 00:13:27,637 Hmm. Poor little thing. 165 00:13:27,693 --> 00:13:29,706 Just try to relax. 166 00:13:29,994 --> 00:13:32,112 This will all be over soon. 167 00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:33,871 [CHUCKLES] 168 00:13:43,341 --> 00:13:48,325 Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? 169 00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:50,657 Because it's so fucking fun! 170 00:13:58,688 --> 00:14:01,865 You make sure our package arrives in one piece. 171 00:14:01,893 --> 00:14:03,908 And send someone to take care of Frog. 172 00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:54,258 [JOHNNY]: DJ X... 173 00:14:54,544 --> 00:14:58,562 the man behind the machine. I've been whoring the fuck out of your next party... 174 00:14:58,582 --> 00:15:01,097 on my website, and you can't even text me back? 175 00:15:01,382 --> 00:15:03,797 You know how many media impressions that is a day? 176 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,530 Don't put your hands on me, man. I don't even know you. 177 00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:10,140 That's our head of security, Kirk O'Dale. 178 00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:11,967 There... 179 00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:13,435 now you know him. 180 00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:19,749 Well, just wait a minute. If you don't give an interview right now... 181 00:15:19,768 --> 00:15:22,615 then I swear I'll make it my personal mission in life... 182 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:27,781 to make sure that no one goes to any more of your stupid parties ever. 183 00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:29,621 Well, we wouldn't want that. 184 00:15:31,248 --> 00:15:33,091 After all... 185 00:15:33,116 --> 00:15:36,598 ever is a long time. 186 00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:38,396 Step into my office. 187 00:15:49,498 --> 00:15:51,706 [DOG BARKING NEARBY] 188 00:16:00,142 --> 00:16:01,815 [TRUCK SPUTTERS] 189 00:16:09,084 --> 00:16:11,223 [BLUES MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO] 190 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,834 ¶ I've got the blues 191 00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,431 ¶ I've got the blues 192 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:22,311 ¶ I ain't got nothing but the blues 193 00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:25,507 ¶ I ain't got nothing but the blues 194 00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:27,480 ¶ Why did you go? 195 00:16:27,502 --> 00:16:29,643 [EDGAR]: Ugh. Creepy. 196 00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:31,287 ¶ Why did you go 197 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:36,526 ¶ And leave me here with the blues? 198 00:16:36,543 --> 00:16:39,993 ¶ And leave me here with the blues? 199 00:16:40,014 --> 00:16:43,562 ¶ You left me sad and you left me sore 200 00:16:43,582 --> 00:16:46,763 ¶ You left me with the lowdown blues 201 00:16:47,887 --> 00:16:49,869 [ALAN]: Hello, Edgar. 202 00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:51,904 What brings you all the way down here? 203 00:16:51,924 --> 00:16:54,670 Now I have to have an excuse to visit my own brother? 204 00:16:54,695 --> 00:16:57,040 At 1 in the morning, yeah. 205 00:16:57,064 --> 00:16:59,205 [EDGAR]: I figured you'd be up. 206 00:16:59,231 --> 00:17:02,441 I've recently learned there's a night crawler... 207 00:17:02,469 --> 00:17:06,282 who's created a new designer drug that he's handing out to kids at raves. 208 00:17:06,305 --> 00:17:09,117 The only problem is it's not a drug... 209 00:17:09,142 --> 00:17:10,418 it's vampire blood. 210 00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:13,754 He's breeding an undead army... 211 00:17:14,779 --> 00:17:18,194 and the only thing that stands between him... 212 00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:20,796 and the annihilation... 213 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:23,530 of the entire human race... 214 00:17:23,556 --> 00:17:25,539 potentially... 215 00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:26,834 would be us. 216 00:17:27,928 --> 00:17:30,170 The Frog Brothers. 217 00:17:31,431 --> 00:17:35,517 We haven't been the Frog Brothers for a long time. 218 00:17:36,035 --> 00:17:37,675 [EDGAR]: I just... 219 00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:40,952 - I can't do it without you. - What about Sam? 220 00:17:40,975 --> 00:17:42,615 [EDGAR]: Sam's gone. 221 00:17:42,643 --> 00:17:46,056 He turned, and, uh, I had to do what I had to do. 222 00:17:47,514 --> 00:17:49,791 I guess that cancels out Michael and Star. 223 00:17:50,884 --> 00:17:53,246 Yeah. I'm pretty much persona non grata... 224 00:17:53,247 --> 00:17:55,697 with the entire Emerson family at this point. 225 00:17:56,123 --> 00:17:58,399 - Laddie? - He's moved on. 226 00:17:58,423 --> 00:18:01,974 He's got a wife, kids. 227 00:18:02,928 --> 00:18:04,237 He's got a real life now. 228 00:18:04,262 --> 00:18:06,607 - Yeah, well, so do I. - You call this a life? 229 00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:10,220 - This from a guy who lives in a trailer. - Okay, so I've got nothing. 230 00:18:10,237 --> 00:18:12,753 But at least I know what side I'm on! 231 00:18:13,538 --> 00:18:17,819 Alan, if this is the head vampire, then maybe we can kill him. 232 00:18:17,842 --> 00:18:20,479 If we kill him, then we just gotta find the one above him... 233 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,084 and then on and on like that forever. 234 00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:25,735 They are telling me that this is the alpha. 235 00:18:26,353 --> 00:18:30,596 The O.G. of all bloodsuckers, the head vampire. 236 00:18:30,621 --> 00:18:33,434 It's a pyramid scheme, Edgar. 237 00:18:33,459 --> 00:18:34,734 Always has been. 238 00:18:36,761 --> 00:18:38,878 What if this is it though? 239 00:18:38,897 --> 00:18:41,174 What if this really is the head vampire? 240 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,839 Get this... 241 00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:45,315 and get it good, Edgar. 242 00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:47,844 As far as I'm concerned... 243 00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:52,925 there's no such thing as vampires. 244 00:18:53,812 --> 00:18:58,093 Hola, Trashynistas. I'm sitting here with the one, the only... 245 00:18:58,117 --> 00:19:00,097 DJ X. 246 00:19:00,118 --> 00:19:02,929 I'm sorry for those of you who have a shitty connection. 247 00:19:02,953 --> 00:19:06,561 I guess you'll just have to take my word for when I tell you... 248 00:19:06,590 --> 00:19:10,675 the man's absolutely scrumptious. 249 00:19:10,693 --> 00:19:13,312 They'll just have to come and see me in person. 250 00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:16,106 Yeah, well, they'll just have to get in line. Ha, ha. 251 00:19:16,298 --> 00:19:20,283 So, DJ X, why do you think the detached and the... 252 00:19:20,304 --> 00:19:24,152 you know, the disconnected youth of today have latched on so fervently... 253 00:19:24,174 --> 00:19:25,622 to your parties? 254 00:19:25,643 --> 00:19:27,192 Because I create a place... 255 00:19:27,213 --> 00:19:31,126 where all the lost souls of the world can come together. 256 00:19:31,415 --> 00:19:33,998 A place where they can do what they want... 257 00:19:34,017 --> 00:19:36,794 whenever they wanna do it. 258 00:19:37,152 --> 00:19:39,635 Yeah, you heard it straight from the man himself... 259 00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:43,765 all you lost boys and girls. This is gonna be the biggest rave of the century. 260 00:19:43,794 --> 00:19:47,207 And we'll let you know where it's gonna be an hour before this event... 261 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:51,440 so stay tuned to this website for the deets. 262 00:19:52,235 --> 00:19:54,081 That was a great interview, X. 263 00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:55,551 Thank you so much. 264 00:19:56,473 --> 00:19:58,091 No, no, thank you... 265 00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,954 for getting the word out. 266 00:19:59,977 --> 00:20:05,065 I wanna have as many people at this event as possible. 267 00:20:05,082 --> 00:20:06,721 It's my pleasure. 268 00:20:07,785 --> 00:20:09,527 And I mean that. 269 00:20:11,054 --> 00:20:14,866 So anyhow, what do you guys have to drink in this jalopy? 270 00:20:16,692 --> 00:20:17,866 You. 271 00:20:17,893 --> 00:20:19,670 [GROWLS] 272 00:20:28,238 --> 00:20:29,913 [EDGAR]: Death to all vampires. 273 00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:31,715 Maximum body count. 274 00:20:31,742 --> 00:20:33,448 We're awesome monster bashers. 275 00:20:33,476 --> 00:20:36,562 - The meanest. - The baddest. 276 00:20:58,868 --> 00:21:00,042 Edgar. 277 00:21:00,069 --> 00:21:02,812 If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna need weapons. 278 00:21:03,205 --> 00:21:05,084 Lots of weapons. 279 00:21:05,373 --> 00:21:10,222 Lots of really expensive, custom-made weapons. 280 00:21:10,245 --> 00:21:11,886 Well, of course. Come in. 281 00:21:12,546 --> 00:21:13,927 [EDGAR]: Hmm. 282 00:21:17,686 --> 00:21:19,132 [GWEN]: Please have a seat. 283 00:21:21,556 --> 00:21:25,802 So aren't you the least bit curious on how I know so much about vampires? 284 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,000 [EDGAR]: Not really. 285 00:21:27,027 --> 00:21:28,405 I know who you are. 286 00:21:28,429 --> 00:21:33,106 You're Gwen Lieber. Bestselling author of the Eternity Kiss series. 287 00:21:33,133 --> 00:21:36,776 First of which is about to be made into a major motion picture... 288 00:21:36,805 --> 00:21:38,980 coming soon to a theater near you. 289 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,351 [GWEN CHUCKLES] 290 00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:42,925 Oh, you've heard of me. I'm flattered. 291 00:21:42,944 --> 00:21:45,654 Don't be. Your books suck. 292 00:21:47,214 --> 00:21:48,921 I'm sorry you feel that way. 293 00:21:48,949 --> 00:21:50,827 [EDGAR]: Doesn't really matter what I think. 294 00:21:50,849 --> 00:21:53,969 You've got millions of emo-goth sheep all over the world... 295 00:21:53,987 --> 00:21:57,870 who eat up every last word of it, and keep coming back for more. 296 00:21:57,892 --> 00:22:02,503 I'm sure you've made quite a nice living off your supernatural bodice-rippers. 297 00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:07,275 I'll have you know, I have gotten glowing reviews from every major periodical. 298 00:22:07,301 --> 00:22:10,147 Bought and paid for, I'm sure. 299 00:22:10,169 --> 00:22:11,376 Just like me. 300 00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:13,316 What is your problem, Frog? 301 00:22:13,338 --> 00:22:14,615 My problem? 302 00:22:14,641 --> 00:22:17,784 My problem is you glorify vampirism. 303 00:22:18,578 --> 00:22:21,662 You make being a vampire look... 304 00:22:21,813 --> 00:22:23,192 sexy. 305 00:22:24,550 --> 00:22:26,066 Well... 306 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,697 there has always been an element of eroticism in vampire mythology. 307 00:22:30,993 --> 00:22:35,168 There is nothing sexy about being a member of the undead. 308 00:22:36,329 --> 00:22:39,677 Well, perhaps I have made a serious mistake in coming to you. 309 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:44,013 If you came to me expecting me to ask for your autograph, then yes, you did. 310 00:22:44,037 --> 00:22:48,851 But if you came to me expecting me to kill a shitload of vampires... 311 00:22:48,942 --> 00:22:50,821 that I can do. 312 00:23:05,958 --> 00:23:07,234 [EDGAR]: Don't like the stake... 313 00:23:07,259 --> 00:23:10,037 maybe it needs a little garlic? 314 00:23:13,066 --> 00:23:15,081 Here we go. 315 00:23:15,734 --> 00:23:19,048 Freshly served. 316 00:23:20,339 --> 00:23:21,513 Shit. 317 00:23:29,216 --> 00:23:31,195 [POWERS UP] 318 00:23:35,419 --> 00:23:36,696 Eat that. 319 00:23:37,622 --> 00:23:39,763 [LOONEY TUNES THEME PLAYING ON CELL PHONE] 320 00:23:42,794 --> 00:23:45,877 - Frog. - [GWEN ON PHONE]: Edgar, it's Gwen. 321 00:23:45,896 --> 00:23:48,106 Can you come by my hotel right away? 322 00:23:48,134 --> 00:23:49,648 It's rather important. 323 00:23:49,667 --> 00:23:52,809 All right. I'll be right there. 324 00:24:07,852 --> 00:24:09,026 [TRUCK SPUTTERS] 325 00:24:09,054 --> 00:24:10,465 [GWEN]: Hello, Edgar. 326 00:24:10,489 --> 00:24:13,698 So, what's so important you need me to come down here right away? 327 00:24:13,723 --> 00:24:16,535 Well, I thought you should meet your new partner. 328 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:21,079 When you turned me down, I was desperate, so I hired someone else... 329 00:24:21,097 --> 00:24:25,378 and I'd really feel bad making him come all the way from Hollywood for nothing. 330 00:24:25,403 --> 00:24:26,577 Hollywood? 331 00:24:27,137 --> 00:24:30,485 I don't like the sound of it. Who is this? 332 00:24:35,779 --> 00:24:37,760 Lars Von Goetz? 333 00:24:38,915 --> 00:24:40,466 [EDGAR GROANS] 334 00:24:45,723 --> 00:24:47,032 [GWEN]: Lars, this is... 335 00:24:47,058 --> 00:24:48,674 Oh, yeah. The Toad. 336 00:24:49,860 --> 00:24:51,568 Frog. 337 00:24:51,594 --> 00:24:53,836 - Edgar Frog. - That's what I said. 338 00:24:54,496 --> 00:24:55,875 Yeah. 339 00:24:55,899 --> 00:24:57,310 I'm Lars Von Goetz. 340 00:24:57,333 --> 00:24:58,971 But you already knew that. 341 00:24:59,403 --> 00:25:02,522 And this is Claus, my camera operator. 342 00:25:02,540 --> 00:25:06,024 So let's go kick the shit out of some little rave punks, huh? 343 00:25:06,044 --> 00:25:07,922 But first, I gotta eat. 344 00:25:07,944 --> 00:25:10,619 I got the metabolism of a 12-year-old boy. 345 00:25:10,647 --> 00:25:12,561 Can I speak with you for a minute? 346 00:25:13,184 --> 00:25:14,824 Right. 347 00:25:16,053 --> 00:25:18,728 Never fear, Lars Von Goetz is here. 348 00:25:19,222 --> 00:25:21,738 As long as the check clears. 349 00:25:22,027 --> 00:25:23,539 Lars Von Goetz? 350 00:25:23,559 --> 00:25:26,302 You hired Lars Von Goetz? 351 00:25:26,930 --> 00:25:29,049 - I thought you'd be happy. - Happy? 352 00:25:29,332 --> 00:25:31,678 First you expect me to kill a head vampire... 353 00:25:31,702 --> 00:25:34,787 then you expect me to babysit some reality show reject? 354 00:25:34,806 --> 00:25:37,047 You're not going to have to babysit him. 355 00:25:37,073 --> 00:25:38,986 Haven't you seen his show? 356 00:25:39,008 --> 00:25:43,458 The man's wrestled a grizzly bear, a lion and an alligator. 357 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:44,856 He's amazing. 358 00:25:44,879 --> 00:25:46,360 That was staged. 359 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:49,991 All reality shows are staged, okay? 360 00:25:50,021 --> 00:25:53,194 Von Goetz, whatever his name is, he's a fraud. 361 00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:57,507 Vampires are, like, 10 times stronger than grizzly bears. 362 00:25:57,795 --> 00:26:02,278 - Well, I think he can take care of himself. - We'll see about that. 363 00:26:02,298 --> 00:26:04,040 [WOMAN 1]: That creepy guy's looking at me. 364 00:26:04,066 --> 00:26:05,912 - [WOMAN 2]: Oh, gross. - [EDGAR]: Here's the deal. 365 00:26:05,936 --> 00:26:08,076 If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna need weapons. 366 00:26:08,470 --> 00:26:09,881 Right. You said that. 367 00:26:09,904 --> 00:26:11,782 I'll go see my guy tomorrow. 368 00:26:11,805 --> 00:26:14,289 - You don't want me to come with you? - No. 369 00:26:15,277 --> 00:26:18,555 He's a little twitchy about new faces. 370 00:26:33,362 --> 00:26:36,573 Listen, buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen-yogurt bar... 371 00:26:36,599 --> 00:26:38,740 it went out of business last summer. 372 00:26:38,767 --> 00:26:41,612 Actually, I'm looking for a Batman number 14. 373 00:26:41,636 --> 00:26:43,311 That's a very serious book, man. 374 00:26:43,337 --> 00:26:44,750 Only five in existence. 375 00:26:44,773 --> 00:26:46,719 Four, actually. 376 00:26:46,741 --> 00:26:49,653 I'm always looking out for the other three. 377 00:27:11,498 --> 00:27:12,808 [SIGHS] 378 00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:32,230 [ALAN]: Edgar, since I know... 379 00:27:32,252 --> 00:27:35,599 I'll never be able to talk you out of what you're about to do... 380 00:27:35,890 --> 00:27:40,500 I can't let you go up against a potential head vampire without giving you this. 381 00:27:40,527 --> 00:27:44,134 One of the first books on vampire hunting ever written. 382 00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:48,376 It'll hopefully keep you safe. Watch your back. Alan. 383 00:27:48,903 --> 00:27:53,386 P.S. If you're still alive on Tuesday, be sure to call Mom. 384 00:27:53,407 --> 00:27:55,456 It's her birthday. 385 00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:56,955 [CELL PHONE DIALING] 386 00:27:56,977 --> 00:27:58,991 - [ZOE ON PHONE]: Book O'Neer. - Hey, Zoe. 387 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:00,959 I need your help with something. 388 00:28:01,248 --> 00:28:03,059 - It's important. - [ZOE]: Sure. 389 00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:05,167 I'll be waiting. 390 00:28:11,925 --> 00:28:16,308 [ZOE]: Wow, so the Gwen Lieber hired you to find her kidnapped brother? 391 00:28:16,329 --> 00:28:18,879 [EDGAR]: Yeah, and I think this book might help me figure out... 392 00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:20,242 where they've taken him to. 393 00:28:20,267 --> 00:28:23,250 I need you to scour it for any clues, anything you can find. 394 00:28:23,271 --> 00:28:26,271 [ZOE]: I don't see how this old book is gonna help you find anyone, but... 395 00:28:26,272 --> 00:28:27,822 I'll give it a try. 396 00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:30,483 Do me a favor. 397 00:28:30,509 --> 00:28:32,787 If you happen to run across anything in here... 398 00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:37,228 that talks about human sacrifice or anything like that, make note of it. 399 00:28:37,249 --> 00:28:38,526 All right. 400 00:28:38,552 --> 00:28:39,860 Cool. 401 00:28:41,054 --> 00:28:43,603 Uh, do you wanna tell me why? 402 00:28:44,123 --> 00:28:45,935 Not really. 403 00:28:45,958 --> 00:28:48,667 Could put your life in danger. 404 00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:52,444 Okay. 405 00:29:15,851 --> 00:29:17,231 [ENGINE STARTS] 406 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,270 Oh, my gosh. 407 00:29:47,184 --> 00:29:48,426 [BREAKING] 408 00:29:50,654 --> 00:29:52,532 [GROWLING] 409 00:29:53,456 --> 00:29:55,406 [HOODIE]: Where's Frog? 410 00:29:58,128 --> 00:29:59,608 Back off, fucko! 411 00:29:59,895 --> 00:30:02,481 Or what? You gonna mace me? 412 00:30:02,499 --> 00:30:03,809 [HOODIE CHUCKLES] 413 00:30:04,435 --> 00:30:06,281 [GASPING] 414 00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:08,312 [ZOE COUGHS] 415 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:09,957 Somebody needed a light? 416 00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:12,854 Frog. 417 00:30:13,277 --> 00:30:15,224 Ugly. 418 00:30:15,979 --> 00:30:17,461 [GROWLS] 419 00:30:22,318 --> 00:30:23,663 You're dead. 420 00:30:24,354 --> 00:30:26,405 Suck on this. 421 00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:38,776 [EDGAR]: Watch out! 422 00:30:43,908 --> 00:30:45,957 Nice. 423 00:30:49,112 --> 00:30:50,662 Mace? 424 00:30:50,681 --> 00:30:52,764 Holy water. 425 00:30:53,582 --> 00:30:55,359 I feel like pancakes. 426 00:30:55,384 --> 00:30:57,093 [COOK]: Order up. 427 00:30:58,087 --> 00:31:01,206 [ZOE]: I found a whole section of young male vampire sacrifices. 428 00:31:01,222 --> 00:31:03,364 And look, there's a Blood Moon. 429 00:31:03,392 --> 00:31:07,410 They call it that because the moon's face is deep red or crimson hue. 430 00:31:07,431 --> 00:31:11,952 [EDGAR]: So they're gonna make a sacrifice under the Blood Moon. 431 00:31:11,969 --> 00:31:13,143 [ZOE]: Exactly. 432 00:31:13,171 --> 00:31:16,754 This Friday is a Blood Moon. 433 00:31:16,771 --> 00:31:19,483 So they're gonna sacrifice Peter at the rave. 434 00:31:19,510 --> 00:31:23,617 - Well, Edgar, you can't let that happen. - All right, if I'm gonna do this... 435 00:31:23,646 --> 00:31:26,992 I need to find out where the rave is and I need to find out fast. 436 00:31:27,017 --> 00:31:29,360 Well, technically, raves are illegal... 437 00:31:29,384 --> 00:31:32,798 so the promoters aren't gonna say where it is until the last minute. 438 00:31:32,819 --> 00:31:36,168 You said that the rumor is that it was gonna be here in San Cazador. 439 00:31:36,192 --> 00:31:39,606 Even if it is here, San Cazador is a big place. 440 00:31:41,832 --> 00:31:44,381 If we're gonna find out where that nest is... 441 00:31:44,401 --> 00:31:47,110 we need to learn how to think like a vampire. 442 00:31:47,135 --> 00:31:49,618 Bloodsuckers have a tendency to look for a place... 443 00:31:49,637 --> 00:31:53,279 that's got a history of suffering and death. 444 00:31:53,475 --> 00:31:55,752 You know of a place like that here? 445 00:31:55,776 --> 00:31:58,761 There's an old slaughterhouse on San Cazador Island. 446 00:31:59,148 --> 00:32:00,525 Slaughterhouse? 447 00:32:02,249 --> 00:32:03,592 Perfect. 448 00:32:03,617 --> 00:32:07,362 Nothing vampires love more than blood and carnage. 449 00:32:07,388 --> 00:32:12,532 If there's a slaughterhouse on that island, that's where they'll be. 450 00:32:23,371 --> 00:32:25,512 Let me go. 451 00:32:25,740 --> 00:32:28,620 - I promise, I... - Uh-uh-uh... 452 00:32:28,910 --> 00:32:32,289 Let's not make any promises we can't keep. 453 00:32:32,613 --> 00:32:36,722 You just lie here like a good piece of veal... 454 00:32:37,216 --> 00:32:41,963 and maybe I'll bring you a nice glass of warm milk. 455 00:32:49,196 --> 00:32:50,814 [YELLS] 456 00:33:16,990 --> 00:33:18,163 Hmm. 457 00:33:38,044 --> 00:33:39,526 [ZOE]: So, where are we going? 458 00:33:39,545 --> 00:33:41,425 [EDGAR]: My friend likes his privacy. 459 00:33:41,448 --> 00:33:42,689 The name's Blake. 460 00:33:42,715 --> 00:33:46,996 Used to be a congressman before he learned the truth. 461 00:33:47,353 --> 00:33:50,494 [ZOE]: What's up with all the razor wire? 462 00:33:54,127 --> 00:33:56,108 [TRUCK SPUTTERS] 463 00:34:05,837 --> 00:34:07,182 [KNOCKS] 464 00:34:08,441 --> 00:34:10,386 Yo, Blake. Open up. 465 00:34:10,408 --> 00:34:12,253 It's Edgar. 466 00:34:16,950 --> 00:34:18,928 [ZOE SCREAMS] 467 00:34:25,490 --> 00:34:28,073 Whew. Edgar. 468 00:34:28,092 --> 00:34:30,404 - How's it hanging? - What's up, Blake? 469 00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:32,210 Holy-water grenade. 470 00:34:32,230 --> 00:34:33,574 - Nice touch. - Yeah. 471 00:34:33,598 --> 00:34:36,215 - Needs a little work, though. - Yeah. 472 00:34:36,232 --> 00:34:37,713 Who the hell's this? 473 00:34:37,737 --> 00:34:39,877 Oh, this is Zoe. 474 00:34:40,106 --> 00:34:41,280 She's cool. 475 00:34:41,306 --> 00:34:43,049 Yeah, I'll be the judge of that. 476 00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:47,753 Touch the cross. Do it now. 477 00:34:49,014 --> 00:34:50,426 [GASPS] 478 00:34:50,715 --> 00:34:53,662 Zoe, manners. 479 00:34:55,052 --> 00:34:57,033 - Nice to meet you. - Blake. 480 00:34:57,321 --> 00:34:58,870 What's with the bike? 481 00:34:58,889 --> 00:35:02,372 Oh, that's a beauty. I've been working on her for a full year. 482 00:35:02,394 --> 00:35:05,205 Renovations, the lot. She's gonna be a real killer. 483 00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:08,370 Yeah. Unfortunately, wouldn't do us much good on this mission. 484 00:35:08,966 --> 00:35:10,140 What else you got? 485 00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:14,780 Welcome to the lair. 486 00:35:15,707 --> 00:35:17,486 What happened to this thing? 487 00:35:17,977 --> 00:35:20,094 Looks like something blew up in the barrel. 488 00:35:20,110 --> 00:35:22,694 You should see the vampire I was pointing it at. 489 00:35:22,712 --> 00:35:25,560 Let's just say the gun came out on the winning side. 490 00:35:26,218 --> 00:35:28,029 Nice new stuff, Blake. 491 00:35:28,054 --> 00:35:29,227 I like it. 492 00:35:32,524 --> 00:35:35,403 You looking for something to replace your Old Reliable? 493 00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:36,804 Never. 494 00:35:36,827 --> 00:35:38,671 Ah, you say that now. 495 00:35:40,029 --> 00:35:41,407 Feast your eyes on this. 496 00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:45,075 An old Russki RG-6 grenade launcher. 497 00:35:45,102 --> 00:35:46,949 Whoa. 498 00:35:47,172 --> 00:35:48,346 Heavy. 499 00:35:49,008 --> 00:35:52,148 Fires 40 mm fragmentation grenades. 500 00:35:52,175 --> 00:35:53,624 Not this one. 501 00:35:53,645 --> 00:35:55,786 This one fires these. 502 00:35:56,714 --> 00:35:57,990 What is it? Holy water? 503 00:35:58,015 --> 00:35:59,632 Mixed with a little garlic. 504 00:35:59,650 --> 00:36:00,925 Just for giggles. 505 00:36:01,885 --> 00:36:05,265 - I'll take it. - I thought you might. 506 00:36:06,155 --> 00:36:09,000 - Here you go. - Thanks. 507 00:36:12,563 --> 00:36:13,770 [ZOE]: What's this? 508 00:36:13,798 --> 00:36:15,811 Hey, put that down, please. 509 00:36:15,833 --> 00:36:17,814 Very carefully, okay? 510 00:36:17,834 --> 00:36:20,544 That is a prototype resin grenade. 511 00:36:20,570 --> 00:36:24,156 I stole it from a military testing facility at Groom Lake. 512 00:36:24,174 --> 00:36:25,348 [BEEPING] 513 00:36:25,374 --> 00:36:27,651 - [EDGAR]: What does it do? - Oh, shit. 514 00:36:35,352 --> 00:36:37,230 [ZOE & EDGAR]: Cool. 515 00:36:37,519 --> 00:36:39,465 Yeah, cool. 516 00:36:39,489 --> 00:36:41,766 I will take that other resin grenade, though. 517 00:36:41,790 --> 00:36:43,340 Gotta hand it to the grays... 518 00:36:43,626 --> 00:36:46,710 they sure are good at making weapons. 519 00:36:52,466 --> 00:36:55,107 Well, it's a pleasure doing business with you, Edgar, as always. 520 00:36:55,135 --> 00:36:56,379 Mm. 521 00:36:56,405 --> 00:36:59,251 Say, you guys wanna stay for dinner? I got beans. 522 00:37:00,476 --> 00:37:01,752 Yeah, you do. 523 00:37:06,082 --> 00:37:08,358 [HOWLING] 524 00:37:13,287 --> 00:37:14,735 What the hell are these? 525 00:37:14,756 --> 00:37:16,373 Those? 526 00:37:16,392 --> 00:37:18,565 - Those are, uh- - A reminder. 527 00:37:21,830 --> 00:37:23,844 [GROWLING NEARBY] 528 00:37:34,242 --> 00:37:36,485 [GROWLING] 529 00:37:36,877 --> 00:37:38,255 Vampires. 530 00:37:38,279 --> 00:37:40,760 They must have tracked us here. 531 00:37:42,384 --> 00:37:43,830 [SCREAMING] 532 00:37:44,652 --> 00:37:47,102 - [ZOE]: What did you do to them? - High-powered UV lamps. 533 00:37:47,122 --> 00:37:49,639 Edgar, all the weapons are in the car. 534 00:37:50,326 --> 00:37:52,568 I guess we're gonna have to improvise. 535 00:37:52,595 --> 00:37:54,268 [THUD] 536 00:38:02,469 --> 00:38:04,680 [FOOTSTEPS] 537 00:38:10,744 --> 00:38:13,091 They've taken out the UV lights. 538 00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:20,669 Hi, sweetheart, aren't you gonna invite me in? 539 00:38:20,690 --> 00:38:23,434 No. You're not invited. 540 00:38:26,326 --> 00:38:28,104 [SCREAMS] 541 00:38:42,742 --> 00:38:44,519 [ZOE]: Wait. Where are you going? 542 00:38:47,214 --> 00:38:49,298 Holy shit, we gotta get out of here. 543 00:38:49,316 --> 00:38:50,992 They'll kill us if we go outside. 544 00:38:51,019 --> 00:38:53,693 I'd rather be bit than burned. Come on, let's go! 545 00:38:58,591 --> 00:39:00,834 - Hi there. - Guys, get down! 546 00:39:01,628 --> 00:39:03,769 [YELLING] 547 00:39:11,168 --> 00:39:12,683 [ZOE SHRIEKS] 548 00:39:12,703 --> 00:39:14,685 Say hello to Old Painless. 549 00:39:15,039 --> 00:39:17,682 Now, that's what I call a stakeout. 550 00:39:17,977 --> 00:39:19,388 It's cool, right? 551 00:39:19,412 --> 00:39:21,394 Yeah, it should be. It's my design. 552 00:39:57,982 --> 00:39:59,499 [TRUCK SPUTTERS] 553 00:40:06,124 --> 00:40:11,040 If all of these freaks go to the island and take the Thirst at the rave... 554 00:40:11,061 --> 00:40:15,341 we're gonna have a full-on vampire invasion on our hands. 555 00:40:16,634 --> 00:40:18,581 [GIRL]: Okay, man, you got the glow sticks? 556 00:40:18,603 --> 00:40:20,516 Let's roll. 557 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,219 [LARS]: Oh, yeah. 558 00:40:24,377 --> 00:40:26,288 Oh, yes. 559 00:40:26,376 --> 00:40:27,824 Hey. You didn't tell me... 560 00:40:27,845 --> 00:40:30,020 - Lars Von Goetz was gonna be here. - [LARS]: Yeah. 561 00:40:30,048 --> 00:40:32,291 - I was kind of hoping he wasn't. - [LARS]: Oh, yeah. 562 00:40:32,317 --> 00:40:34,367 - [ZOE]: That guy is a total animal. - [LARS]: Yes, baby. 563 00:40:34,386 --> 00:40:37,003 [ZOE]: You see the episode where he wrestled the grizzly bear? 564 00:40:37,022 --> 00:40:38,399 - Missed it. - [LARS]: Oh, yeah. 565 00:40:41,094 --> 00:40:42,572 Toad. 566 00:40:42,592 --> 00:40:44,141 [CHUCKLES] 567 00:40:44,393 --> 00:40:46,172 [EDGAR]: Hmm. 568 00:40:46,597 --> 00:40:49,308 So, hmm, who's your friend? 569 00:40:50,836 --> 00:40:52,453 Hi. I'm Zoe. 570 00:40:52,470 --> 00:40:53,644 [LARS]: Zoe. 571 00:40:53,940 --> 00:40:55,646 Tell me, Zoe, is it just me... 572 00:40:55,673 --> 00:40:59,485 or is there some serious chemistry between us? 573 00:40:59,509 --> 00:41:01,127 That's just you. 574 00:41:01,144 --> 00:41:02,989 Okay. 575 00:41:04,981 --> 00:41:06,394 [GWEN]: Edgar. 576 00:41:07,350 --> 00:41:09,527 I hope you brought your bathing suit. 577 00:41:09,554 --> 00:41:12,227 I thought we should blend in with the other partygoers. 578 00:41:12,723 --> 00:41:14,430 [EDGAR]: Covert infiltration. 579 00:41:14,456 --> 00:41:15,767 It's a good idea. 580 00:41:18,294 --> 00:41:19,844 Hi, I'm Gwen. 581 00:41:19,864 --> 00:41:24,178 Yeah, I know. I've sold, like, a bazillion of your books. 582 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,046 - I'm Zoe. - Right. 583 00:41:27,669 --> 00:41:29,411 You work in a bookstore? 584 00:41:29,705 --> 00:41:30,980 Part-time. 585 00:41:31,005 --> 00:41:34,991 And Edgar thinks that you're qualified for this mission? 586 00:41:35,245 --> 00:41:38,421 Just how many bloodsuckers have you killed, Miss Lieber? 587 00:41:38,982 --> 00:41:41,931 - None. - More qualified than you. 588 00:41:41,951 --> 00:41:46,332 Well, this is Edgar's show, and I trust him. 589 00:41:48,791 --> 00:41:51,432 [ZOE]: Did I mention I hated her books? 590 00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:52,839 So do I. 591 00:41:57,834 --> 00:42:00,280 [CHATTERING AND CHEERING] 592 00:42:00,302 --> 00:42:02,353 [GIRL]: Rave! 593 00:42:05,774 --> 00:42:08,448 [EDGAR]: All right, everybody. According to the blueprints... 594 00:42:08,476 --> 00:42:12,654 there's an entrance to the slaughterhouse through a series of underground tunnels... 595 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,320 which will lead us directly to where the rave is. 596 00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:20,499 Now, remember, everyone, there will be a lot of civilians around. 597 00:42:20,889 --> 00:42:23,406 Toadies, not familiars. 598 00:42:23,425 --> 00:42:27,602 Just innocent partygoers who are all there because they think they're gonna have... 599 00:42:27,630 --> 00:42:29,474 fun. 600 00:42:30,866 --> 00:42:32,916 Because of this, you will be armed... 601 00:42:32,935 --> 00:42:36,145 with weapons that are non-lethal to anything with a heartbeat. 602 00:42:36,437 --> 00:42:41,651 This is a sawed-off, pump action, Soak and Destroy water gun. 603 00:42:41,676 --> 00:42:42,851 [SQUEAKS] 604 00:42:42,878 --> 00:42:44,152 Patent pending. 605 00:42:44,911 --> 00:42:46,255 Turns holy water... 606 00:42:46,278 --> 00:42:48,899 into holy slaughter. 607 00:42:48,916 --> 00:42:50,657 Zoe, you take it. 608 00:42:50,685 --> 00:42:51,861 Claus... 609 00:42:53,123 --> 00:42:55,172 it's a high-powered UV torch. 610 00:42:55,190 --> 00:42:58,242 Tie it around your waist. You'll thank me later. 611 00:42:58,261 --> 00:43:00,377 Edgar, what about me? 612 00:43:01,129 --> 00:43:02,404 You're staying here. 613 00:43:02,729 --> 00:43:04,109 The hell I am! 614 00:43:04,134 --> 00:43:06,342 This is my brother we are talking about. 615 00:43:06,368 --> 00:43:08,452 I understand that... 616 00:43:08,470 --> 00:43:11,088 but this is not one of your books, Gwen. 617 00:43:11,372 --> 00:43:14,286 Everybody on this mission is a trained veteran. 618 00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:17,724 You could be killed, or worse... 619 00:43:17,745 --> 00:43:21,386 - you could be turned into one of them. - [LARS]: Okay, time out. 620 00:43:21,414 --> 00:43:25,261 Listen, Gwen, I totally buy into your little vampire goth games... 621 00:43:25,286 --> 00:43:28,373 that's what you're paying me to do, but I'm calling bullshit. 622 00:43:28,391 --> 00:43:30,064 If Gwen wants to go, she can go. 623 00:43:30,359 --> 00:43:34,467 Not as long as I'm in charge of this mission. 624 00:43:34,496 --> 00:43:36,374 [GWEN]: It's all right, Lars. 625 00:43:36,397 --> 00:43:38,981 Listen to him. Edgar knows what he's talking about. 626 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,981 He's an experienced vampire hunter. 627 00:43:41,001 --> 00:43:44,246 Wrong. I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you... 628 00:43:44,272 --> 00:43:46,980 but there are no experienced vampire hunters... 629 00:43:47,007 --> 00:43:50,058 because there are no vampires. They do not exist. 630 00:43:50,077 --> 00:43:51,888 [EDGAR]: Hmm. 631 00:43:52,179 --> 00:43:55,322 Zoe, take these stakes, strap them to your leg. 632 00:43:55,349 --> 00:43:57,160 And why does she get stakes? 633 00:43:57,185 --> 00:43:59,860 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were Mr. Tough Guy... 634 00:43:59,886 --> 00:44:03,973 who wrestled a 6-foot alligator with your bare hands. You don't need weapons. 635 00:44:03,990 --> 00:44:06,199 No, it was 10-foot. 636 00:44:06,227 --> 00:44:08,435 - And I still want stakes. - Fine. 637 00:44:10,030 --> 00:44:11,477 There's some stakes. 638 00:44:13,001 --> 00:44:14,412 Why are hers metal? 639 00:44:15,102 --> 00:44:17,081 You get what you get. 640 00:44:17,669 --> 00:44:19,549 Let's go. 641 00:44:20,874 --> 00:44:22,251 Edgar, wait. 642 00:44:24,543 --> 00:44:26,092 Bring him back safe. 643 00:44:26,111 --> 00:44:27,991 I'll do my best. 644 00:44:28,282 --> 00:44:29,591 Move out. 645 00:44:32,150 --> 00:44:33,324 [LARS]: Hey, Toad. 646 00:44:33,352 --> 00:44:36,903 Couldn't we come back at night? It would look so much better on camera. 647 00:44:36,922 --> 00:44:39,302 [EDGAR]: No. Vampires feed at night... 648 00:44:39,327 --> 00:44:42,934 and I don't plan on sticking around for dinner. 649 00:44:57,209 --> 00:44:59,056 [MOANING] 650 00:45:16,427 --> 00:45:18,203 [DOOR SLAMS] 651 00:45:20,896 --> 00:45:23,380 Is this the VIP room? 652 00:45:23,769 --> 00:45:26,616 Oh, most definitely. 653 00:45:26,639 --> 00:45:30,783 - When's the party supposed to start? - Not for a while. 654 00:45:30,809 --> 00:45:33,757 You guys got here early. 655 00:45:34,279 --> 00:45:38,332 Oh, are those promise rings? 656 00:45:38,349 --> 00:45:41,832 - So cute. - [YOUNG MAN]: Is that blood on your face? 657 00:45:42,854 --> 00:45:44,836 [GIRL SCREAMING] 658 00:45:52,965 --> 00:45:54,274 [GROWLS] 659 00:46:22,124 --> 00:46:25,073 Oh! I think I just broke my coccyx. 660 00:46:25,095 --> 00:46:27,577 [LARS]: Forget the coccyx, is the camera okay? 661 00:46:43,846 --> 00:46:46,296 - [EDGAR]: Radio check. - [ZOE]: Check. 662 00:46:46,316 --> 00:46:48,798 - [LARS]: Check. - [CLAUS]: Check. 663 00:46:50,585 --> 00:46:56,073 All right. Once inside, our main objective is to extract Peter. 664 00:46:56,092 --> 00:46:58,802 Killing vampires is our second priority. 665 00:46:59,096 --> 00:47:01,078 All right, everybody... 666 00:47:01,098 --> 00:47:02,477 let's rock 'n' roll. 667 00:47:13,041 --> 00:47:14,853 Heads up. 668 00:47:17,413 --> 00:47:19,360 [ZOE]: Hey, did you name your new gun yet? 669 00:47:19,383 --> 00:47:21,021 [EDGAR]: Shh. 670 00:47:22,082 --> 00:47:23,530 What? 671 00:47:23,552 --> 00:47:26,761 [WHISPERS] Did you name your new gun yet? 672 00:47:28,624 --> 00:47:30,799 What are you talking about? 673 00:47:30,825 --> 00:47:32,944 [ZOE]: All guns need a name. 674 00:47:32,963 --> 00:47:34,602 Like boats. 675 00:47:34,631 --> 00:47:36,576 Boats are for sailors... 676 00:47:36,598 --> 00:47:39,344 guns are for soldiers. 677 00:47:39,368 --> 00:47:41,510 I'm no sailor. 678 00:47:46,307 --> 00:47:48,119 - Lars. - [LARS]: What? 679 00:47:48,143 --> 00:47:50,591 I'm getting a really bad feeling about this. 680 00:47:50,611 --> 00:47:55,630 Ugh. What, you mean being deep within the earth beneath a thousand tons of rock? 681 00:47:55,917 --> 00:47:57,498 [CHUCKLES] 682 00:47:57,517 --> 00:48:01,265 Are you feeling "Claus-trophobic"? 683 00:48:01,790 --> 00:48:04,137 Get it? "Claus-trophobic"? 684 00:48:04,161 --> 00:48:06,709 That's not funny. I'm serious, man, look around you. 685 00:48:06,728 --> 00:48:09,142 This shit's freaking me out. 686 00:48:24,644 --> 00:48:26,229 [ZOE SHRIEKS] 687 00:48:26,247 --> 00:48:27,956 Jeepers. 688 00:48:37,090 --> 00:48:39,470 [CHATTERING] 689 00:48:49,104 --> 00:48:50,778 All right, here's the deal. 690 00:48:50,806 --> 00:48:53,479 We're gonna go to the left, you guys go to the right. 691 00:48:53,506 --> 00:48:55,318 Zoe, you're with me. 692 00:48:55,342 --> 00:48:59,258 Lars and Claus, do whatever it is you do. 693 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,761 We'll reconvene back on the beach... 694 00:49:01,782 --> 00:49:03,628 maybe. 695 00:49:11,325 --> 00:49:13,569 [CLAUS]: You know, I kind of hate the fact we split up. 696 00:49:13,595 --> 00:49:17,042 People in horror movies always split up and they always get killed. 697 00:49:17,064 --> 00:49:19,774 There's nothing to worry about, Claus. Don't you get it? 698 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,918 This is all some stupid role-playing game. 699 00:49:21,936 --> 00:49:26,180 All we're gonna find is some little emo goth kids with fake fangs and contact lenses. 700 00:49:26,206 --> 00:49:27,948 You think this is a game? 701 00:49:27,975 --> 00:49:32,459 Of course I think it's a game. Why else would the Toad give me a water pistol? 702 00:49:33,679 --> 00:49:38,562 Besides, my fans are tired of seeing me tackle every natural predator on the planet. 703 00:49:38,584 --> 00:49:41,032 Now, we need to give them something new to watch. 704 00:49:41,053 --> 00:49:42,296 But if you're right... 705 00:49:42,323 --> 00:49:46,236 you're gonna be beating up a bunch of kids with fake fangs and contact lenses. 706 00:49:46,258 --> 00:49:47,841 I know. 707 00:49:47,859 --> 00:49:49,204 Isn't it great? 708 00:49:49,228 --> 00:49:50,868 [CHUCKLES] 709 00:50:05,612 --> 00:50:08,525 This is the entrance to the slaughterhouse. 710 00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:12,190 Time for Mr. Frog's wild ride. 711 00:50:13,853 --> 00:50:15,525 Ow. 712 00:50:18,623 --> 00:50:21,607 Claus, we gotta find a place to do my intro. 713 00:50:22,628 --> 00:50:24,108 Oh, yeah. 714 00:50:24,129 --> 00:50:25,505 This is perfect. 715 00:50:25,963 --> 00:50:27,843 Okay. 716 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:33,883 Using my tracking ability, we've located the nest of the vampires... 717 00:50:33,906 --> 00:50:36,891 deep within this abandoned slaughterhouse. 718 00:50:37,177 --> 00:50:38,885 It's also haunted... 719 00:50:38,911 --> 00:50:41,551 by cannibal pirates. 720 00:50:41,980 --> 00:50:45,659 It's built on an ancient Indian burial ground... 721 00:50:48,254 --> 00:50:51,099 where they used to burn witches. 722 00:51:32,730 --> 00:51:34,143 Oh. 723 00:51:39,403 --> 00:51:41,076 A promise ring. 724 00:51:41,104 --> 00:51:42,688 [EDGAR]: Virgins. 725 00:51:42,706 --> 00:51:46,257 Vampire filet mignon. 726 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:59,433 Ugh. What kind of fucked up shit is this? 727 00:51:59,456 --> 00:52:01,437 Are you Peter? 728 00:52:01,991 --> 00:52:04,234 Please, help me. 729 00:52:06,930 --> 00:52:08,776 Dude. Turn around, let's go. 730 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:10,883 - What? - It's too early to find him. 731 00:52:10,900 --> 00:52:13,177 We gotta find him at the end of the episode. 732 00:52:13,201 --> 00:52:16,480 I haven't even had the chance to put the beat-down on any goths yet. 733 00:52:16,506 --> 00:52:18,886 - But he's right here. - Dude, turn around. 734 00:52:18,910 --> 00:52:20,686 Sorry, Peter. Let's go. 735 00:52:20,710 --> 00:52:22,157 What the fuck? 736 00:52:22,178 --> 00:52:25,058 Where are you bastards going? 737 00:52:28,450 --> 00:52:31,228 Something smells really bad in here. 738 00:52:31,253 --> 00:52:33,267 It's a slaughterhouse. 739 00:52:33,287 --> 00:52:38,037 I don't mean the typical bad slaughterhouse dead meat smell... 740 00:52:38,063 --> 00:52:41,305 - I mean I smell something- - [ZOE]: It smells like rotting garbage. 741 00:52:41,330 --> 00:52:42,639 Trash. 742 00:52:42,664 --> 00:52:45,146 Yeah, like I said. Rotting garbage. 743 00:52:45,167 --> 00:52:46,377 No. 744 00:52:46,402 --> 00:52:50,885 I mean Jonny Trash. 745 00:52:51,273 --> 00:52:54,325 Jeez Louise. 746 00:52:54,611 --> 00:52:57,421 Jeez Louise? Really? 747 00:52:58,145 --> 00:52:59,818 [SCREAMS] 748 00:53:00,113 --> 00:53:01,789 Zoe, get down! 749 00:53:04,823 --> 00:53:06,769 [EDGAR YELLS] 750 00:53:08,258 --> 00:53:10,342 [CLICKING] 751 00:53:11,561 --> 00:53:14,008 - [CLAUS]: You hear that? - [LARS]: What? 752 00:53:14,529 --> 00:53:16,477 I think it's coming from down there. 753 00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:19,543 What are you doing? 754 00:53:19,568 --> 00:53:21,344 Lars. 755 00:53:22,536 --> 00:53:24,122 Lars. 756 00:53:51,166 --> 00:53:53,840 Dude, where's my gear? 757 00:53:54,269 --> 00:53:56,046 [CLAUS]: You left it up... 758 00:53:57,404 --> 00:53:58,851 Oh, shit. 759 00:53:58,872 --> 00:54:00,320 What? 760 00:54:02,276 --> 00:54:04,519 Oh, okay. 761 00:54:39,347 --> 00:54:40,929 Is this it? 762 00:54:40,950 --> 00:54:45,364 I've been waiting 300 years for a good fight. 763 00:54:45,386 --> 00:54:46,729 [GRUNTING] 764 00:55:03,938 --> 00:55:06,078 [GROANING] 765 00:55:08,807 --> 00:55:11,188 [LARS]: Have you had enough, punk? 766 00:55:15,814 --> 00:55:17,124 [GROWLS] 767 00:55:31,163 --> 00:55:32,472 [YELLS] 768 00:55:40,073 --> 00:55:42,818 Nice outfit. 769 00:55:42,843 --> 00:55:44,426 That's funny... 770 00:55:45,745 --> 00:55:48,089 that's exactly what I was thinking. 771 00:55:48,112 --> 00:55:49,697 But I still have to kill you. 772 00:55:53,218 --> 00:55:54,858 I'm surprised. 773 00:55:55,786 --> 00:55:57,370 By what? 774 00:55:59,025 --> 00:56:02,006 [LILY]: You're really not that good. 775 00:56:08,301 --> 00:56:10,544 - Aah! - [ZOE]: Edgar! 776 00:56:25,517 --> 00:56:27,361 [EDGAR]: Zoe. I got this. 777 00:56:38,830 --> 00:56:43,178 Ah, shit! Damn bullets! 778 00:56:43,603 --> 00:56:46,414 See, now that's what happens when you don't name your gun. 779 00:56:46,438 --> 00:56:48,417 Just pull out the sword! 780 00:56:48,739 --> 00:56:51,084 - On three. - Okay. 781 00:56:51,375 --> 00:56:52,583 Three. 782 00:56:52,611 --> 00:56:53,784 [YELLS] 783 00:56:53,812 --> 00:56:56,521 What happened to one and two? 784 00:56:56,546 --> 00:56:59,894 Edgar? Edgar? Oh, God. 785 00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:01,728 Lars, what's your 20? 786 00:57:02,219 --> 00:57:05,167 - It's not Lars, it's Claus. - Claus, where's Lars? 787 00:57:05,188 --> 00:57:06,362 [CLAUS]: He's dead. 788 00:57:06,389 --> 00:57:07,768 Lars is dead. 789 00:57:07,791 --> 00:57:10,409 We're so completely and totally fucked. 790 00:57:10,427 --> 00:57:12,341 Claus, calm down. Just breathe. 791 00:57:12,663 --> 00:57:15,749 We have to get Edgar out of here before reinforcements arrive. 792 00:57:24,774 --> 00:57:28,290 - Oh, my God. Zoe, what happened? - [ZOE]: Just help us lay him down. 793 00:57:28,310 --> 00:57:30,225 Claus, first-aid kit. 794 00:57:30,246 --> 00:57:32,124 [EDGAR GROANING] 795 00:57:34,515 --> 00:57:36,863 Hang in there. Everything's gonna be fine. 796 00:57:36,886 --> 00:57:38,401 Hold this. 797 00:57:38,421 --> 00:57:42,234 Edgar, stay with me. 798 00:57:48,764 --> 00:57:52,281 [ALAN]: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet? 799 00:57:52,301 --> 00:57:55,352 No, it's a pretty cool place... 800 00:57:55,371 --> 00:57:56,578 if you're a Martian. 801 00:57:56,604 --> 00:57:57,983 Or a vampire. 802 00:57:58,873 --> 00:58:01,289 Are you guys sniffing old newsprint or something? 803 00:58:01,310 --> 00:58:04,155 You think you know what's happening around here, don't you? 804 00:58:04,178 --> 00:58:06,990 Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know shit, buddy. 805 00:58:07,016 --> 00:58:11,070 Yeah. You think we just work in a comic-book store for our folks, huh? 806 00:58:11,087 --> 00:58:13,262 Actually, I thought it was a bakery. 807 00:58:13,289 --> 00:58:14,633 This is just our cover. 808 00:58:15,693 --> 00:58:18,277 We're dedicated to a higher purpose. 809 00:58:18,295 --> 00:58:20,877 We're fighters for truth... 810 00:58:20,896 --> 00:58:22,413 justice... 811 00:58:22,433 --> 00:58:24,482 and the American way. 812 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:26,481 [ZOE]: Edgar. 813 00:58:29,172 --> 00:58:31,916 - Edgar. - What? 814 00:58:31,940 --> 00:58:34,148 - What happened to me? - You're okay. 815 00:58:34,743 --> 00:58:37,828 Did we get him? Did we get Peter? 816 00:58:37,846 --> 00:58:41,260 Claus found him, but they ran into some trouble. 817 00:58:41,550 --> 00:58:45,135 They had him tied to some twisted table kind of thing... 818 00:58:45,153 --> 00:58:47,934 pumping him full of drugs, trying to keep him sedated. 819 00:58:47,958 --> 00:58:50,700 Where's your boss? Von Geek? 820 00:58:50,726 --> 00:58:54,142 Some big-ass, massive juggernaut of a vampire got him. 821 00:58:54,963 --> 00:58:57,103 Tore his heart right out of his chest. 822 00:58:58,633 --> 00:58:59,943 Got it on tape, though. 823 00:59:01,270 --> 00:59:03,320 I'd like to see that when you get a chance. 824 00:59:03,338 --> 00:59:05,977 - He'd like that. - Thanks. 825 00:59:06,773 --> 00:59:08,287 Gwen... 826 00:59:08,843 --> 00:59:10,791 it's gonna be okay. 827 00:59:11,180 --> 00:59:13,025 We'll get him. 828 00:59:13,048 --> 00:59:15,223 It's not over yet. 829 00:59:15,516 --> 00:59:18,692 [EDGAR SPEAKS IN LATIN] 830 00:59:20,254 --> 00:59:21,530 Payback's a bitch. 831 00:59:21,556 --> 00:59:24,197 Damn straight. Let's go. 832 00:59:24,325 --> 00:59:27,035 [CHATTERING AND CHEERING] 833 00:59:27,895 --> 00:59:29,707 [GIRL]: Rave! Rave! 834 00:59:34,435 --> 00:59:35,745 It's starting. 835 00:59:38,371 --> 00:59:40,319 All right, come on. 836 00:59:42,976 --> 00:59:44,526 [GIRL]: Hey! 837 00:59:44,544 --> 00:59:46,686 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING] 838 01:00:06,900 --> 01:00:08,516 Hey, there. 839 01:00:08,533 --> 01:00:09,743 Do you wanna party? 840 01:00:24,283 --> 01:00:30,235 [LILY OVER SPEAKER]: And now, the man you've been waiting for, DJ X! 841 01:00:47,008 --> 01:00:51,390 [DJ X]: Are you ready for a sacrifice? 842 01:01:00,552 --> 01:01:03,606 [RAVERS]: Blood, blood, blood! 843 01:01:03,623 --> 01:01:06,400 Blood, blood, blood! 844 01:01:06,425 --> 01:01:09,134 Blood, blood, blood! 845 01:01:09,161 --> 01:01:10,336 Hold up. 846 01:01:10,897 --> 01:01:13,640 [GWEN]: Oh, my God. There he is. 847 01:01:32,451 --> 01:01:34,465 [RAVERS GROWLING] 848 01:01:46,631 --> 01:01:49,548 If they get through that fence, we're so undeniably fucked. 849 01:01:49,569 --> 01:01:52,654 The sooner we take out X, the sooner that won't be a problem. 850 01:01:52,671 --> 01:01:54,310 [GWEN]: Okay, but what about Peter? 851 01:01:59,545 --> 01:02:02,457 All right, listen up, everyone. I want you all to hold back. 852 01:02:02,479 --> 01:02:04,221 I've only got one shot at this. 853 01:02:04,248 --> 01:02:07,459 I'm gonna immobilize X and then we go in for the kill. 854 01:02:07,484 --> 01:02:10,101 Everybody, stay put. Got it? 855 01:02:10,119 --> 01:02:11,792 - Got it. - Good. 856 01:02:38,215 --> 01:02:40,525 Put on something nasty, X. 857 01:02:40,549 --> 01:02:43,100 I think I found someone I wanna dance with. 858 01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:44,669 [YELLS] 859 01:02:46,089 --> 01:02:48,139 He dropped it. I'm going in. 860 01:02:48,158 --> 01:02:49,900 Zoe, wait. 861 01:02:49,925 --> 01:02:51,600 Get in here and help me. Come on. 862 01:03:06,511 --> 01:03:10,526 That is exactly how I'm going to break your neck. 863 01:03:14,282 --> 01:03:17,129 Vinyl still shreds. 864 01:03:31,068 --> 01:03:32,685 [HISSES] 865 01:03:33,103 --> 01:03:35,446 Very creative, Frog. 866 01:03:39,042 --> 01:03:41,158 But when it comes to killing... 867 01:03:41,176 --> 01:03:47,391 I prefer more traditional methods... 868 01:03:47,417 --> 01:03:50,331 like impalement. 869 01:03:57,992 --> 01:04:00,270 [GRUNTING] 870 01:04:20,682 --> 01:04:21,958 [EDGAR YELLS] 871 01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:26,459 [RAVERS GROWLING AND LAUGHING] 872 01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:42,384 Claus, cover us! 873 01:04:44,170 --> 01:04:46,187 [CLAUS]: Shit. Shit. 874 01:04:47,008 --> 01:04:48,988 [RAVERS YELLING] 875 01:04:54,250 --> 01:04:56,866 You fought admirably. 876 01:04:58,185 --> 01:05:02,169 But you were doomed to fail from the start. 877 01:05:04,057 --> 01:05:07,265 I've fought beside great warriors... 878 01:05:07,293 --> 01:05:08,933 learned battle techniques... 879 01:05:08,962 --> 01:05:14,047 that can only be mastered over several lifetimes. 880 01:05:14,065 --> 01:05:15,807 [HISSES] 881 01:05:17,971 --> 01:05:23,082 And do you know what the first rule of combat is? 882 01:05:24,946 --> 01:05:28,656 Yeah, don't monologue. 883 01:05:36,556 --> 01:05:38,730 There's a lot of vampires down here. 884 01:06:06,753 --> 01:06:09,097 Guys, I can't hold them off forever. 885 01:06:18,163 --> 01:06:20,213 Fuck me. Fuck me! 886 01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:27,989 [ZOE]: Edgar! 887 01:06:28,276 --> 01:06:30,255 [EDGAR]: Nice work. I've got it. 888 01:06:33,946 --> 01:06:35,256 [YELLS] 889 01:06:36,615 --> 01:06:38,392 [PANTING] 890 01:06:45,089 --> 01:06:47,937 You're right. Impalement is good. 891 01:06:48,661 --> 01:06:51,336 Especially when you pierce the heart. 892 01:06:51,363 --> 01:06:52,811 [YELLS] 893 01:06:57,669 --> 01:07:00,014 [MOANING] 894 01:07:06,845 --> 01:07:08,690 [GWEN]: Peter. 895 01:07:10,951 --> 01:07:14,432 All right, everybody, listen up. The party's officially over. 896 01:07:14,452 --> 01:07:18,037 You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. 897 01:07:18,490 --> 01:07:20,369 [PETER GROANS AND COUGHS] 898 01:07:20,391 --> 01:07:22,510 Peter, can you hear me? 899 01:07:35,238 --> 01:07:37,325 - Eew. - Buckets of eew. 900 01:07:37,342 --> 01:07:39,982 Edgar, something's wrong. 901 01:07:40,011 --> 01:07:41,388 Yeah, I'd say. 902 01:07:41,413 --> 01:07:45,965 No, I mean we killed DJ X, but I don't feel any different. 903 01:07:45,982 --> 01:07:48,726 Something's wrong. 904 01:07:51,921 --> 01:07:55,405 They're still vampires. Nothing's changed. 905 01:07:55,426 --> 01:07:57,239 [ZOE]: Edgar... 906 01:07:57,262 --> 01:07:59,710 this smells like garlic. 907 01:08:01,198 --> 01:08:03,144 Garlic? 908 01:08:03,166 --> 01:08:04,750 Let me see. 909 01:08:06,036 --> 01:08:09,382 You're right, it... They were keeping him weak. 910 01:08:11,473 --> 01:08:13,650 You're the alpha. 911 01:08:13,678 --> 01:08:15,886 Oh, I bet you did not see that coming. 912 01:08:16,412 --> 01:08:17,926 [PETER]: Thanks to you. 913 01:08:17,947 --> 01:08:21,361 If X had been able to drink my blood during the Blood Moon... 914 01:08:21,384 --> 01:08:24,028 my power would have passed to him... 915 01:08:24,056 --> 01:08:26,730 and that would have been a shame. 916 01:08:26,758 --> 01:08:30,638 I've been the alpha for a long, long time. 917 01:08:35,498 --> 01:08:37,116 [GROWLING] 918 01:08:55,653 --> 01:08:59,432 You'll never grow old, you'll never die... 919 01:08:59,724 --> 01:09:01,636 but you must feed. 920 01:09:07,463 --> 01:09:10,776 I brought you Edgar Frog, just like you asked. 921 01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:12,416 Now it is your turn. 922 01:09:12,435 --> 01:09:15,451 Remember your promise to me. 923 01:09:15,837 --> 01:09:18,455 I just don't wanna grow old. Sorry. 924 01:09:19,774 --> 01:09:21,755 [PETER]: Oh... 925 01:09:22,276 --> 01:09:23,451 you won't. 926 01:09:25,614 --> 01:09:27,823 [GWEN GASPING AND COUGHING] 927 01:09:48,402 --> 01:09:50,519 They're all yours! 928 01:09:51,203 --> 01:09:52,947 [EDGAR]: Alan, wait! 929 01:09:52,973 --> 01:09:54,557 [LIGHT BEEPING] 930 01:09:54,576 --> 01:09:58,493 No, no, no, this is not a good time for the batteries to die. 931 01:09:58,514 --> 01:10:01,860 Claus, I need you to get Zoe to safety. 932 01:10:03,051 --> 01:10:05,532 Edgar, I'm not leaving without you. 933 01:10:05,553 --> 01:10:07,069 If we don't kill Peter right now... 934 01:10:07,089 --> 01:10:10,504 there's gonna be a thousand emo-goth vampires out there. 935 01:10:10,524 --> 01:10:12,973 I need you to warn the world. 936 01:10:12,993 --> 01:10:14,874 Especially in case I don't survive. 937 01:10:15,431 --> 01:10:17,241 That's not an option. 938 01:10:19,599 --> 01:10:20,977 I'll be waiting. 939 01:10:22,169 --> 01:10:23,684 Just go. 940 01:10:26,474 --> 01:10:27,716 Come on. 941 01:10:29,576 --> 01:10:31,354 Claus. 942 01:10:49,496 --> 01:10:51,237 [ALAN YELLS] 943 01:10:52,097 --> 01:10:54,147 [GROANING] 944 01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:57,320 I'm disappointed in you, Edgar. 945 01:10:57,604 --> 01:11:00,188 This is no way to treat your savior. 946 01:11:00,206 --> 01:11:04,191 Savior? You got a funny way of looking at things, kid. 947 01:11:04,211 --> 01:11:06,554 [PETER]: I saved you from a life of loneliness. 948 01:11:07,013 --> 01:11:10,293 You didn't want to end up like Robert Neville, did you? Ha, ha. 949 01:11:10,317 --> 01:11:13,993 - [EDGAR]: Robert who? - You really should read more books, Edgar. 950 01:11:15,421 --> 01:11:18,234 The ones without pictures and word balloons. 951 01:11:18,592 --> 01:11:22,836 Robert Neville, the protagonist in I Am Legend. 952 01:11:22,861 --> 01:11:27,176 Last man on Earth in a world full of vampires. 953 01:11:27,869 --> 01:11:29,848 Is that really what you want to become? 954 01:11:30,170 --> 01:11:33,778 I'm not thirsty. You'll have to kill me first. 955 01:11:35,808 --> 01:11:37,687 [GRUNTING] 956 01:11:38,477 --> 01:11:40,357 I will, if necessary. 957 01:11:44,752 --> 01:11:47,030 But that would be a shame... 958 01:11:47,054 --> 01:11:50,535 especially since I owe you a debt for killing X. 959 01:11:50,990 --> 01:11:54,473 Why didn't you just kill him yourself? 960 01:11:54,626 --> 01:11:57,802 A father can't murder his own children. 961 01:11:57,830 --> 01:12:00,141 That would be in bad taste. 962 01:12:00,166 --> 01:12:03,286 Even an impertinent little shit like DJ X. 963 01:12:05,438 --> 01:12:09,888 I told him you can't turn all the cattle into cowboys... 964 01:12:09,908 --> 01:12:12,925 you'll wind up with too many cowboys. 965 01:12:12,946 --> 01:12:14,120 But he didn't listen. 966 01:12:14,146 --> 01:12:16,059 And now, thanks to his damned raves... 967 01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:19,667 there are going to be far too many vampires roaming the Earth. 968 01:12:19,685 --> 01:12:20,995 That's where you come in. 969 01:12:21,019 --> 01:12:24,069 Keep the population down to a manageable size. 970 01:12:24,923 --> 01:12:26,768 Plenty of blood to drink. 971 01:12:27,058 --> 01:12:29,108 Everybody's happy. 972 01:12:29,127 --> 01:12:30,574 [PETER]: Precisely. 973 01:12:30,596 --> 01:12:36,083 Which is why I want you to keep on doing what you're already so very good at. 974 01:12:36,101 --> 01:12:39,014 Hunting and killing vampires. 975 01:12:39,035 --> 01:12:44,384 So you want me to be your own personal hemo-sucking hit man, is that it? 976 01:12:44,408 --> 01:12:46,081 [PETER]: Crudely worded... 977 01:12:46,376 --> 01:12:49,588 but yes, that's the general idea. 978 01:12:52,648 --> 01:12:55,062 And what makes you think... 979 01:12:55,084 --> 01:12:58,206 that I won't just kill you myself? 980 01:12:58,223 --> 01:12:59,499 Nothing. 981 01:12:59,524 --> 01:13:02,108 Except that you have no real reason. 982 01:13:03,897 --> 01:13:05,842 Think about it, Edgar. 983 01:13:05,864 --> 01:13:08,538 Your brother's already one of us. 984 01:13:08,566 --> 01:13:13,981 Everyone you care about is either dead or playing for my team. 985 01:13:14,704 --> 01:13:15,979 What do you say? 986 01:13:16,774 --> 01:13:18,048 I say... 987 01:13:19,610 --> 01:13:21,523 why don't you go suck yourself? 988 01:13:23,746 --> 01:13:27,129 Alan, kill your brother. You'll feel better. 989 01:13:27,684 --> 01:13:28,891 Alan, no. 990 01:13:29,419 --> 01:13:31,596 Don't do this. 991 01:13:32,390 --> 01:13:34,099 You're my brother. 992 01:13:34,126 --> 01:13:35,801 You're a Frog Brother. 993 01:13:41,196 --> 01:13:44,477 Don't make me hurt you. 994 01:13:48,038 --> 01:13:50,316 I told you not to make me hurt you. 995 01:14:06,425 --> 01:14:09,269 Last chance, Edgar. 996 01:14:17,133 --> 01:14:18,681 [EDGAR YELLS] 997 01:14:18,700 --> 01:14:20,341 [PETER]: What the fuck? 998 01:14:20,370 --> 01:14:21,987 [CHUCKLES] 999 01:14:23,239 --> 01:14:25,378 [SPEAKS IN LATIN] 1000 01:14:32,649 --> 01:14:34,595 Fuck you! 1001 01:14:58,173 --> 01:14:59,950 You okay? 1002 01:15:00,709 --> 01:15:02,120 Yeah. 1003 01:15:02,144 --> 01:15:03,625 Fang check. 1004 01:15:07,683 --> 01:15:09,425 [BOTH]: Hmm. 1005 01:15:09,450 --> 01:15:11,123 Death to all vampires? 1006 01:15:11,152 --> 01:15:13,029 Maximum body count. 1007 01:15:13,052 --> 01:15:16,141 We are awesome monster bashers. 1008 01:15:16,159 --> 01:15:18,071 - The meanest. - The baddest. 1009 01:15:18,093 --> 01:15:20,710 [BOTH GRUNT AND YELL] 1010 01:15:27,701 --> 01:15:29,581 That's enough of that. 1011 01:16:08,143 --> 01:16:11,818 Hey. I thought you went to the beach with your brother? 1012 01:16:11,846 --> 01:16:16,159 I did, actually, but, uh, he wanted to stay out there longer. 1013 01:16:16,184 --> 01:16:20,030 He stays out much longer, he's gonna turn into a human piece of beef jerky. 1014 01:16:20,054 --> 01:16:21,227 [CHUCKLES] 1015 01:16:21,253 --> 01:16:23,032 I guess he's making up for lost time. 1016 01:16:23,058 --> 01:16:25,640 - [EDGAR]: Yeah. - Oh, guess what. 1017 01:16:26,694 --> 01:16:30,143 I sold your copy of Destroy AII Vampires number 125... 1018 01:16:30,430 --> 01:16:32,241 for 500 bucks. 1019 01:16:32,265 --> 01:16:33,508 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1020 01:16:33,533 --> 01:16:34,809 That's great. 1021 01:16:34,836 --> 01:16:37,716 That should keep the bank off my butt for a while. 1022 01:16:37,738 --> 01:16:41,255 Now, Zoe, there's something I need to ask you. 1023 01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:44,725 How did you know vampires are real? 1024 01:16:44,742 --> 01:16:46,657 [ZOE]: Just a hunch. 1025 01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:48,954 What are you reading? 1026 01:16:48,982 --> 01:16:52,498 Oh, I'm actually scanning the book into my Kindle. 1027 01:16:52,518 --> 01:16:53,830 I decided, you know... 1028 01:16:53,854 --> 01:16:57,281 I might as well educate myself about all the possibilities... 1029 01:16:57,282 --> 01:16:58,555 of the dark underworld. 1030 01:16:58,556 --> 01:17:01,892 For example, did you know that lycanthrope... 1031 01:17:01,893 --> 01:17:05,443 or... female werewolves, she-wolves... 1032 01:17:05,598 --> 01:17:08,878 actually can change anytime they want to? 1033 01:17:08,903 --> 01:17:11,783 They don't have to do it under a full moon. It's a myth. 1034 01:17:11,805 --> 01:17:14,046 They can turn anytime they want to. 1035 01:17:14,073 --> 01:17:17,352 They have complete control. They can do it in the middle of the day. 1036 01:17:19,578 --> 01:17:22,695 Now, that's an interesting theory.