1 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:51,884 In New York City, there's a fine line between law and chaos. 2 00:00:51,884 --> 00:00:54,803 On that line live Danson and Highsmith. 3 00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:00,476 Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof. 4 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,855 I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices. 5 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,164 Get rid of that asshole. 6 00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:24,208 - Uh-oh. - I hate it when you say "uh-oh." 7 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,678 Dude, you put a ding in my hood. 8 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:41,850 Come on with it, then. 9 00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:49,191 Whoa, hey. 10 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,407 That's trouble. 11 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,551 Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit? 12 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,855 That's it. I am sick of all this running. 13 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,864 Hang on. 14 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:53,255 You have the right to remain silent. 15 00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:56,383 But I want to hear you scream. 16 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:12,941 Down on the ground. 17 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,444 Detective. Yeah, yeah. Detective. 18 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,155 One at a time, all right? 19 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:22,534 Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson, New York Observer Online. 20 00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:25,579 These suspects were caught with only a quarter pound of marijuana, 21 00:03:25,579 --> 00:03:27,080 a misdemeanor in some states. 22 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,459 Do you think this arrest was worth $12 million in property damages? 23 00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:33,837 Why don't we let New York City answer that question? 24 00:03:33,837 --> 00:03:36,465 The greatest city on Earth, yeah. 25 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,971 Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition. 26 00:03:42,971 --> 00:03:46,642 Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true? 27 00:03:46,642 --> 00:03:48,310 No comment. 28 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,145 But, yes. 29 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:55,192 Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs for life. 30 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:02,824 No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it. 31 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:08,622 Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive, and sex with style. They're rock stars. 32 00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:11,708 Then you got your jokers, your ball busters, your vets... 33 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,002 ... and the other guys. 34 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,676 We know, we know. We know. 35 00:04:20,676 --> 00:04:22,928 All right, all right, all right. Listen up, listen up. 36 00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:26,556 We're having a celebration tonight at Butter. 37 00:04:26,556 --> 00:04:29,226 Brody Jenner's going to be there. Bai Ling. 38 00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:32,104 - That little short bitch from Jersey Shore. - Yeah. 39 00:04:32,104 --> 00:04:35,274 And most of you are on the list. 40 00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:37,276 You're the best. 41 00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:39,319 Guys, I am going to say something right now. 42 00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:41,780 It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream. 43 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:44,700 - Arnold Schwarzenegger. - Let me finish. 44 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:47,160 He became a champion and then a movie star, all right? 45 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,413 - Arnold Schwarzenegger. - God damn it, let me... 46 00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:51,415 They ruined the story. They ruined the story. 47 00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:53,125 Let... What... The point is, 48 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:56,295 we couldn't do our job if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork, 49 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,672 answering the phones, and all that stupid shit that we don't like to do. 50 00:04:58,672 --> 00:05:00,757 All the gun fights, all the car chases, 51 00:05:00,757 --> 00:05:04,720 all the sex we don't want to have with women, but we have to, 52 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,473 all due to what you guys do. Thank you. 53 00:05:08,473 --> 00:05:09,808 And we'd do it again and again. 54 00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:12,185 Hey, you shut your face. 55 00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:13,478 If we want to hear you talk, 56 00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:16,440 I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet. 57 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,233 You hear me? You hear me? 58 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,694 - Cash bar. - Yeah. 59 00:05:20,694 --> 00:05:22,612 Peace out, bitches. 60 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,950 Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in. 61 00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:28,577 Come on. Bring it in a little bit. 62 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,787 All right, right there. 63 00:05:30,787 --> 00:05:32,831 Just back up, just like right there. 64 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,542 All right, just one... Just a... 65 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,419 There you go, right there. Right there. 66 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,047 This is their paperwork. You know they're not going to do it. 67 00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:43,342 That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here. 68 00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:47,095 It's thick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it. 69 00:05:47,095 --> 00:05:48,597 - No offense, Bob. - That's all right. 70 00:05:48,597 --> 00:05:50,807 - Anyway, now who wants it? - I do. 71 00:05:50,807 --> 00:05:53,602 All right. Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case. 72 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,729 - Nice work. Thanks, Allen. - Thank you, Captain. 73 00:05:55,729 --> 00:05:57,105 "I will do it. I will do it." 74 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,284 Stop humming that song. 75 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:13,121 - I can hum if I want to. - No, I know you can. 76 00:06:13,121 --> 00:06:14,456 I am asking you to stop. 77 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,792 - Well, if you're asking, then I will stop. - Thank you. 78 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,882 Could you not smile like that? 79 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,803 Now you're asking me to mask my emotions because of how it makes you feel. 80 00:06:27,803 --> 00:06:29,679 That I will not do. 81 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,353 Seriously, stop humming. Okay? 82 00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:38,480 This isn't accounting or wherever the hell 83 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,900 you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from. 84 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,945 Forensic accounting, okay. And it's an important part of the job. 85 00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:49,116 Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy about doing shit work, you moron. 86 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,076 Hey, guys. Reminder. 87 00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:54,371 The police union picnic's coming up this weekend. 88 00:06:54,371 --> 00:06:59,084 My wife's making her famous deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious. 89 00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:00,544 It's a bad time, Bob. 90 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,672 All right. 91 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,340 Going to get a slice. 92 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,770 You know what I just did? 93 00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:21,148 I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives, 94 00:07:21,148 --> 00:07:23,733 and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back, 95 00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:26,027 but I stopped myself, because my pops taught me 96 00:07:26,027 --> 00:07:28,738 that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward. 97 00:07:28,738 --> 00:07:30,031 Wow, I actually appreciate that. 98 00:07:30,031 --> 00:07:31,908 Good, because I am going to tell you directly to your face. 99 00:07:31,908 --> 00:07:34,744 - No. You don't have to. - No, I don't like you. 100 00:07:34,744 --> 00:07:36,246 I think you're a fake cop. 101 00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:40,083 The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. 102 00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:42,919 If we were in the wild, I would attack you. 103 00:07:42,919 --> 00:07:47,716 Even if you weren't in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you. 104 00:07:47,716 --> 00:07:49,384 If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, 105 00:07:49,384 --> 00:07:52,095 I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you. 106 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,557 And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend. 107 00:07:55,557 --> 00:07:59,978 Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? 108 00:07:59,978 --> 00:08:01,271 Lions don't like water. 109 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:05,400 If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense. 110 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,028 But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves, 111 00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:09,905 I am assuming it's off the coast of South Africa, 112 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:15,494 coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? 113 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:16,745 You lose that battle. 114 00:08:16,745 --> 00:08:19,748 You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? 115 00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:24,127 You have wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. 116 00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:26,630 We have talked to ourselves. We have communicated. 117 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:27,881 - Yeah? - And said, "You know what? 118 00:08:27,881 --> 00:08:31,134 "Lion tastes good. Let's go get some more lion." 119 00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:33,803 We have developed a system to establish a beachhead 120 00:08:33,803 --> 00:08:36,806 and aggressively hunt you and your family. 121 00:08:36,806 --> 00:08:39,059 And we will corner your pride, 122 00:08:39,059 --> 00:08:41,019 - your children, your offspring. - How you going to do that? 123 00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:44,689 We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. 124 00:08:44,689 --> 00:08:47,275 We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. 125 00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:51,821 It's not going to be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45, no problem. 126 00:08:51,821 --> 00:08:54,574 That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, 127 00:08:54,574 --> 00:08:57,744 go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. 128 00:08:57,744 --> 00:09:01,331 You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned. 129 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,379 Did that go the way you thought it was going to go? 130 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:08,630 Nope. 131 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,764 Two minutes before the markets open, 132 00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:21,226 Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global, ringing the opening bell. 133 00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:23,770 With Boardman is investment banker, David Ershon, 134 00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:27,315 who manages 40% of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool. 135 00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:30,235 How much did we lose? 136 00:09:30,235 --> 00:09:32,612 You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman. 137 00:09:32,612 --> 00:09:34,781 - $32. - Million? 138 00:09:34,781 --> 00:09:37,075 No, billion. 139 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,537 Shit. 140 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,875 Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw. 141 00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:47,669 - Bang, bang. - Yeah. 142 00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:49,379 Then I raise up to take the leader out. 143 00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:50,964 Shit, I feel like I am there now. 144 00:09:50,964 --> 00:09:53,550 I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof. 145 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,635 He says, "Let's even the odds." 146 00:09:55,928 --> 00:10:00,140 He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. I send one through his chest. 147 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,726 Game over, bitches. 148 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,521 - All right. - Yeah. 149 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:12,444 Jimmy? Let's talk about how that story made you feel. 150 00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:14,154 Like my cock was made out of concrete. 151 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,365 I know it's very tempting. 152 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,534 You want to impress your friends. 153 00:10:19,534 --> 00:10:22,203 But this is serious stuff we're dealing with, okay? 154 00:10:22,203 --> 00:10:25,707 This is firing your weapon in the line of duty. 155 00:10:25,707 --> 00:10:26,875 Officer Hoitz? 156 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:28,835 Oh, man. 157 00:10:28,835 --> 00:10:30,086 - Come on. - Here we go. 158 00:10:30,086 --> 00:10:31,546 Would you like to share? 159 00:10:31,546 --> 00:10:32,797 No, I'd rather not. 160 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,550 Officer Hoitz, you have been coming here for six months now, 161 00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:37,385 and you haven't said a word. 162 00:10:37,385 --> 00:10:39,804 This is a safe room, no judgment here. 163 00:10:39,804 --> 00:10:40,972 Jerkoff. 164 00:10:40,972 --> 00:10:43,391 That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on. 165 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:44,976 I relive it every night. 166 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,271 Bronx, October. 167 00:10:48,271 --> 00:10:50,148 Game 7 of the World Series. 168 00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:53,485 For all the marbles. High pressure, unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty. 169 00:10:53,485 --> 00:10:56,404 I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel. I told him to stop. 170 00:10:56,404 --> 00:10:58,406 Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area. 171 00:10:58,406 --> 00:10:59,824 Finally pulled my gun. 172 00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:01,201 Pulled a deadly weapon. He started running at me. 173 00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:03,161 Don't make me shoot. I will do it. 174 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,289 Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"? 175 00:11:06,289 --> 00:11:09,501 You dick. I am Derek Jeter. You shot me. 176 00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:12,337 - You cost me 20 grand on that game. - Douche bag. 177 00:11:12,337 --> 00:11:13,880 Cost the city a championship. 178 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,299 I was being groomed for a top position in homicide. 179 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,260 Now I am stuck with a desk jockey partner. Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper. 180 00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,012 Because you shot Derek Jeter. 181 00:11:21,012 --> 00:11:22,389 He's a biracial angel. 182 00:11:22,389 --> 00:11:24,140 You should have shot A-Rod. 183 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,108 Yo, Paper Bitch. 184 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,151 - What's up, man? - Hey. Hey, guys. 185 00:11:35,151 --> 00:11:36,945 - Paper Bitch. - Paper Bitch. 186 00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:38,113 I don't like that, actually. 187 00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:39,989 I know you guys think it's fun, but I don't like that name. 188 00:11:39,989 --> 00:11:41,658 Still working on the Danson and Highsmith paperwork? 189 00:11:41,658 --> 00:11:43,827 - Shit. - No, actually, actually, that's... 190 00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:45,286 What is this? That looks stupid. 191 00:11:45,286 --> 00:11:48,998 Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction. Specifically, scaffolding. 192 00:11:48,998 --> 00:11:50,625 Some of the guys were talking. 193 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,503 They were like, "How come you have never fired your weapon in the office before?" 194 00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:54,671 Good point. 195 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,381 I am sorry, I don't follow. 196 00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:57,924 You have never fired your weapon in the office. 197 00:11:57,924 --> 00:12:00,135 We all have, you know. It's called a desk pop. 198 00:12:00,135 --> 00:12:02,929 Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer. 199 00:12:02,929 --> 00:12:04,139 - Not true. - I am not stupid. 200 00:12:04,139 --> 00:12:06,683 I am not going to discharge my firearm in the office. 201 00:12:06,683 --> 00:12:08,351 Gamble, listen to me. I will try to make it real clear. 202 00:12:08,351 --> 00:12:12,605 We honor the flag, and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office. 203 00:12:12,605 --> 00:12:14,774 Jimmy. When's the last time you had a desk pop? 204 00:12:14,774 --> 00:12:16,776 September '08. 205 00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,945 - Be a man. Do it. - Now. 206 00:12:18,945 --> 00:12:20,697 - Please, please, do it. - Pop one off. 207 00:12:20,697 --> 00:12:22,866 - There you go. Pop it off. - Don't think, just go. 208 00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,492 - Here we go. - Do it, yes. 209 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,162 He did it. 210 00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:29,122 Hey. Shots fired. 211 00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:32,333 Hey, Terry, I did it. I did my first desk pop. 212 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,419 It's a real thing, right? 213 00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:36,004 - A desk pop? - Yeah. 214 00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:37,213 No, that's not real. 215 00:12:37,213 --> 00:12:41,259 They were so convincing in their argument, they swung me. 216 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,097 All right, Allen, you're going to have to hand over your gun. 217 00:12:46,097 --> 00:12:47,307 Yes, sir. 218 00:12:47,307 --> 00:12:51,394 Captain, you really want to disarm this guy, take out the batteries in the calculator. 219 00:12:51,394 --> 00:12:54,856 All right, I am going to give you this. This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony. 220 00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:56,107 There. 221 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:01,029 You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it. 222 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:05,325 Listen, guys. I am working two jobs. I am working here. 223 00:13:05,325 --> 00:13:08,578 And I got another job at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay? 224 00:13:08,578 --> 00:13:11,289 I am doing that just to put a kid through NYU 225 00:13:11,289 --> 00:13:15,126 so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay. 226 00:13:15,126 --> 00:13:18,671 Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit. 227 00:13:18,671 --> 00:13:21,132 I am just going to ask you guys, please, come on, really. 228 00:13:21,132 --> 00:13:22,967 Just think about... Just be smart. 229 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,957 211 in progress. 230 00:13:53,957 --> 00:13:57,126 They're using a wrecking ball to clean out Castien Jewelry. 231 00:13:57,126 --> 00:13:58,628 All right, we got it. 232 00:13:58,628 --> 00:14:01,047 - Good luck, guys. Have a good one. - Allen, let's go. 233 00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:04,008 - No, I got work to do. - What? This is work. 234 00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:07,679 Hey, yo. Danson and Highsmith. We roll in heavy. 235 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:09,097 You cream puffs, sit tight. 236 00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:10,515 You got to be shitting me. 237 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,685 You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay? 238 00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:16,854 I am a peacock. You got to let me fly. 239 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,238 Did he just... Did he just call himself a peacock? 240 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,993 Let's go. Let's go. 241 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,122 Come on, fellas. 242 00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,749 Wednesday night is taco night at Rikers Island. 243 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,223 That's the second one this week. 244 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,602 Hey, you monkeys. Stop. 245 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,395 Let's go. 246 00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,314 Yeah. 247 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,065 Heads up. 248 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,525 Shit. 249 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:17,707 Special Forces zipline. 250 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,084 Cut that line. Cut it. Let's go. 251 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,588 - These guys are pros. - Let's go. 252 00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:25,048 You thinking what I am thinking, partner? 253 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,758 Aim for the bushes. 254 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:58,039 Cops still argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped. 255 00:15:58,039 --> 00:16:02,085 Maybe it was just pride, having survived so many brushes with death. 256 00:16:02,085 --> 00:16:04,337 Maybe their egos pushed them off. 257 00:16:04,337 --> 00:16:07,131 I don't know. But that shit was crazy. 258 00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:11,928 Either way, there was a hole in New York City, and it needed to be filled. 259 00:16:11,928 --> 00:16:14,305 Two days ago, this city wept. 260 00:16:14,305 --> 00:16:18,351 We lost two heroes who gave everything for us, 261 00:16:18,351 --> 00:16:23,356 who paid that ultimate sacrifice so that we may walk these streets safely. 262 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:25,858 There wasn't even an awning in their direction. 263 00:16:25,858 --> 00:16:28,111 - No, I know. - They just jumped 20 storeys. 264 00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:29,529 Doesn't make sense, does it? 265 00:16:29,529 --> 00:16:33,491 I only hope God lets them take their .357s with them to heaven. 266 00:16:33,491 --> 00:16:36,911 It's our moment, Allen. Our moment to step up and be the guys. 267 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:40,081 - We're at a funeral. Show some respect. - What? 268 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,418 You don't think every other detective here isn't thinking the same thing? 269 00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:48,297 Allen, listen to me. Danson and Highsmith are gone. 270 00:16:48,297 --> 00:16:51,384 Their desks are empty. Someone has to fill those seats. 271 00:16:51,384 --> 00:16:55,012 That someone is us, okay? The city's dying for a hero. 272 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,848 - Is it? - Yeah. 273 00:16:56,848 --> 00:17:00,560 What about nine million socially-conscious and unified citizens, 274 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,395 all just stepping up and doing their part? 275 00:17:02,395 --> 00:17:04,731 As a little kid, didn't you dress up and play cops and robbers? 276 00:17:04,731 --> 00:17:06,983 I will tell you what I did as a little kid. 277 00:17:06,983 --> 00:17:09,402 I went to school and made my bed. 278 00:17:09,402 --> 00:17:12,113 And at age 11, I audited my parents. 279 00:17:12,113 --> 00:17:15,491 And believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded. 280 00:17:15,491 --> 00:17:17,452 What the hell are you? 281 00:17:17,452 --> 00:17:20,496 Well, well, well. What do we got here? 282 00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:24,667 Look at these two jamokes, would you? One shot Jeter and the other shot an office. 283 00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,673 Have some decorum. We're at a funeral. 284 00:17:30,673 --> 00:17:32,967 You want to dance, brolio? 285 00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:37,305 I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks. You will be pissing blood out of your ass. 286 00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:38,473 That's horrible. 287 00:17:38,473 --> 00:17:39,724 Why don't you step back, man? 288 00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:41,267 You touch him, I swear to God 289 00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,186 I am going to beat the shit out of you with Allen's head. 290 00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:45,813 He's not going to do that. That's hyperbole. But that's a weird example. 291 00:17:45,813 --> 00:17:47,690 - You want to go? - I want to go. 292 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,485 - Get him off. - Kick his ass, Martin. 293 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,320 Yeah. How do you like that? 294 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:55,239 - Pull his hair. - I love it. 295 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,116 This hurts so good. 296 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,203 - Very sorry for your loss, ma'am. - What a lovely hat. 297 00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:02,121 I love your shoes. 298 00:18:02,121 --> 00:18:03,956 - It's fine, it's fine. - Go, go. 299 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:05,708 Punish him. 300 00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:07,835 Oh, man. 301 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,463 Do it. That's how we do it in the hood. 302 00:18:10,463 --> 00:18:11,589 - Punish him. - That's not even a move. 303 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,259 I am the winner. I am the winner, everybody saw it. 304 00:18:15,259 --> 00:18:17,595 What the hell is going on here? 305 00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:19,472 Two good men are dead, 306 00:18:19,472 --> 00:18:22,642 and you guys are fighting over who's going to be the next hotshot? 307 00:18:22,642 --> 00:18:23,851 Is that what's happening? 308 00:18:23,851 --> 00:18:25,520 Yes, that's exactly what's happening. 309 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,231 Let me tell you something. 310 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,233 - Sorry for your loss, Lorraine. - Very sorry. 311 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:32,652 - Sorry, Lorraine. - Sorry, Lorraine. 312 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,487 Hi, I am Jimmy. 313 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,365 - Too soon? - Why'd you say that? 314 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,534 I will tell you something about those guys. 315 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:44,205 They knew that to become a good cop, you had to solve cases. Okay? 316 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:48,251 Okay, and maybe you start with the Castien robbery. 317 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,920 Okay? So just watch it. 318 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,090 Next time, me, you, library. 319 00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,342 - Not even close. - Come on, guys. Guys, come on. 320 00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:59,011 - You are... - I am the winner. 321 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,348 I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay? I could have handled that myself. 322 00:19:02,348 --> 00:19:06,143 Hey, don't flatter yourself. It's the partner's code. I had no choice. 323 00:19:06,143 --> 00:19:07,478 Move. 324 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,657 - 9:15, let's have a great day, everybody. - Cut the shit. 325 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:27,874 Good morning. 326 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,044 We have got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street. 327 00:19:32,044 --> 00:19:34,046 There are large amounts of cocaine on the scene. 328 00:19:34,046 --> 00:19:35,256 Try to stay out of trouble, boys. 329 00:19:35,256 --> 00:19:37,008 There's no chance you'd want to go on that call, right? 330 00:19:37,008 --> 00:19:38,926 No chance. Too busy. 331 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:43,556 All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture? We're about to lock shit down. 332 00:19:43,556 --> 00:19:45,641 - That's right. - You girls stay here and get your type on. 333 00:19:45,641 --> 00:19:47,643 Go get them, guys. Lot of energy, lot of focus. 334 00:19:47,643 --> 00:19:48,853 Shut up. 335 00:19:48,853 --> 00:19:51,188 Allen, could I see you in the hallway for a second? 336 00:19:51,188 --> 00:19:52,732 I... I am super busy right now, Terry. 337 00:19:52,732 --> 00:19:54,692 No, no, no, I know. This will be real quick. 338 00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:56,652 It's about the construction permits you were talking about. 339 00:19:56,652 --> 00:19:58,738 - The scaffolding violations? - This is our thing, yeah. 340 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,949 So, what do you got? 341 00:20:01,949 --> 00:20:04,535 I got this. I will put one right in your neck. 342 00:20:04,535 --> 00:20:05,703 What are you doing? 343 00:20:05,703 --> 00:20:08,497 Let's go. We're going to that call. 344 00:20:08,497 --> 00:20:10,166 - What is this? - Shut up. 345 00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:12,585 We're going to the car, and we're going after this case. 346 00:20:12,585 --> 00:20:14,086 - You're not going to shoot me. - I won't? 347 00:20:14,086 --> 00:20:15,630 - No. - I shot Jeter. 348 00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:17,882 - That was an accident. - Was it? 349 00:20:17,882 --> 00:20:19,508 - Now move. - Okay. 350 00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:21,552 Hey. 351 00:20:21,552 --> 00:20:24,847 Does anybody see this? He's got a gun on me. 352 00:20:24,847 --> 00:20:26,724 I am being kidnapped. 353 00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:29,894 Really, we're in a police station and no one is interested in this? 354 00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:32,521 - So, then what happened? - What do you think happened? 355 00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:35,983 I woke up, I took the belt off my neck, and I got in my car, and I got out of there. 356 00:20:35,983 --> 00:20:37,610 Talk about a wild weekend, right? 357 00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:40,988 I thought I was going to have to shoot my way out. 358 00:20:40,988 --> 00:20:43,240 What are you going to do, though, you know? Bar mitzvahs. 359 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,495 What the hell is this? 360 00:20:47,495 --> 00:20:50,289 It's my car. It's a Prius. 361 00:20:50,289 --> 00:20:54,043 I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina. 362 00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,963 Detective Hoitz and Gamble are on that 518 on East 10th. 363 00:20:56,963 --> 00:20:59,131 Negatory, Martin and Fosse, two minutes out. 364 00:20:59,131 --> 00:21:00,925 We will just see who's there first. 365 00:21:00,925 --> 00:21:03,719 You stay out of our crime scene. You hear me? 366 00:21:03,719 --> 00:21:05,429 Go, go, go. 367 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:08,557 You feel that, Allen? That tingling in your balls? 368 00:21:08,557 --> 00:21:10,518 Big metal butterflies fluttering around in your stomach? 369 00:21:10,518 --> 00:21:12,228 Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer? 370 00:21:12,228 --> 00:21:14,355 I got something to get you going. 371 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,360 Let's go do some damage. 372 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:22,029 Nope. 373 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,533 What the hell is that? 374 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,994 LRB. Little River Band. 375 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,663 This music makes me feel like I am going shopping for a training bra. 376 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,457 You know what? We go with no music, okay? 377 00:21:33,457 --> 00:21:34,667 - Fine. - Say bye. 378 00:21:34,667 --> 00:21:35,876 No, no, no, don't say bye... 379 00:21:35,876 --> 00:21:37,670 You just signed your own death warrant, Hoitz. 380 00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:40,965 Allen, punch that accelerator or I will shoot you in the foot. 381 00:21:40,965 --> 00:21:42,466 America. 382 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,094 Allen. Allen, hit the brake. 383 00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:48,848 Seriously, slow the car down. We're approaching the crime scene. 384 00:21:48,848 --> 00:21:50,016 Terry, I am coming in. 385 00:21:50,016 --> 00:21:51,934 You're going to smash right through the tape. Allen. 386 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,686 Dude. What... 387 00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:01,027 That's a lot of cocaine. 388 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,989 Did you yell "America" when you hit the accelerator? 389 00:22:04,989 --> 00:22:06,866 Nope. No. No. 390 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,910 I have never actually put my foot all the way down 391 00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:13,914 to the ground with the accelerator like that. 392 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,376 It got me slightly aroused. 393 00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:21,505 Here we go. 394 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:27,053 Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys. 395 00:22:27,053 --> 00:22:29,555 - Prius, huh? - Yep, yep. 396 00:22:29,555 --> 00:22:30,890 Good mileage? 397 00:22:30,890 --> 00:22:32,349 - Outstanding. - Yeah. 398 00:22:32,349 --> 00:22:35,019 Did this come with a dental dam? 399 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,646 - No. - Get it? 400 00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:41,108 My Suburban shit one of these last night. 401 00:22:41,108 --> 00:22:42,818 I didn't know they put tampons on wheels. 402 00:22:44,404 --> 00:22:45,571 We have had our fun, huh? 403 00:22:45,571 --> 00:22:48,616 Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car. 404 00:22:49,367 --> 00:22:50,493 All right, everybody. 405 00:22:50,493 --> 00:22:53,621 I am going to need you all to back up now. We're taking over. 406 00:22:53,621 --> 00:22:56,123 "At the crime scene, LOL." 407 00:22:56,123 --> 00:22:57,917 - Good tweet, good tweet. - Yeah, thanks. 408 00:22:58,293 --> 00:23:02,046 America has always been defined by its excess. 409 00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:05,716 The Grand Canyon, professional sports contracts. 410 00:23:05,716 --> 00:23:08,219 Wendy's Baconator, extra bacon. 411 00:23:08,219 --> 00:23:12,181 I myself have 18 Lamborghinis 412 00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,226 and a Subaru station wagon. 413 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,479 And it's because of this excess that I have flourished. 414 00:23:18,479 --> 00:23:22,149 I implore you, please, do not stop profiting. 415 00:23:22,149 --> 00:23:25,986 Live for excess. It's the American way. 416 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,828 Hello. 417 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:37,706 Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you. 418 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,253 Sir David. 419 00:23:42,253 --> 00:23:45,923 David. You're not returning my calls, so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley. 420 00:23:45,923 --> 00:23:47,675 - Good day, mate. - Hey. 421 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:50,344 Roger and his team are going to babysit you because I don't trust you, 422 00:23:50,344 --> 00:23:51,762 because I think you're going to take off. 423 00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:55,266 Pamela, this is ridiculous. I am not going anywhere. 424 00:23:55,266 --> 00:23:57,768 David, listen, the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th. 425 00:23:57,768 --> 00:24:00,688 You have until then to give me my money. I am not reporting any losses, David. 426 00:24:00,688 --> 00:24:02,606 I have zeroed in on a new investor. 427 00:24:02,606 --> 00:24:05,776 Well, then, you get their money, make it disappear, and then pay us back. 428 00:24:05,776 --> 00:24:09,113 Yes, yes, I will tell him he doesn't need to keep watching me. 429 00:24:09,113 --> 00:24:11,699 - David. - Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye. 430 00:24:11,699 --> 00:24:16,203 Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. So, you're good to go. 431 00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:17,746 Heard everything, mate. 432 00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:19,123 Ladies and gentlemen, 433 00:24:19,123 --> 00:24:23,711 guess who gave me the secrets to making my first billion dollars. 434 00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:27,089 That man there. 435 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:29,884 Go. Go. 436 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:31,969 - Side. - Step aside, please. 437 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,555 You don't think I am a real cop, do you? 438 00:24:34,555 --> 00:24:36,891 No, I don't. I have said that directly to your face numerous times. 439 00:24:36,891 --> 00:24:38,058 I was really honest about that. 440 00:24:38,058 --> 00:24:40,644 I am working on a huge case, all right? 441 00:24:40,644 --> 00:24:42,897 Property owner with seven buildings under construction. 442 00:24:42,897 --> 00:24:46,066 He hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit. 443 00:24:46,066 --> 00:24:50,154 Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now. 444 00:24:50,154 --> 00:24:53,949 - That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? - Yeah. 445 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:57,286 Guess what? You're coming with me. 446 00:24:57,996 --> 00:24:59,955 It's a wooden gun. 447 00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,293 That hurts, man. 448 00:25:06,504 --> 00:25:10,424 I have always got Little River Band loaded up here. I have got six disks in here. 449 00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:14,428 Claude, meet me outside, at the back of the service entrance. 450 00:25:14,428 --> 00:25:16,931 I am flying Air Singapore. 451 00:25:16,931 --> 00:25:18,766 - Hey, Douglas. How's the wife? - She died. 452 00:25:18,766 --> 00:25:19,934 Attaboy. 453 00:25:19,934 --> 00:25:21,977 I will be there in two minutes exactly. 454 00:25:21,977 --> 00:25:25,689 Another thing I hate about you? You always pay in exact change. 455 00:25:25,689 --> 00:25:28,108 You're just mad because I have a nice change purse. 456 00:25:28,108 --> 00:25:29,276 Why do you even care? 457 00:25:29,276 --> 00:25:32,363 How can I help it? You know what? You know what's worse? 458 00:25:32,363 --> 00:25:34,448 The way you fart. Even your farts, they're not manly. 459 00:25:34,448 --> 00:25:35,699 You're being ridiculous. 460 00:25:35,699 --> 00:25:38,369 They sound like a baby blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. 461 00:25:38,369 --> 00:25:39,703 - What? - Like a little... 462 00:25:39,703 --> 00:25:41,705 - You know what bugs me about you? - What? 463 00:25:41,705 --> 00:25:43,123 I am pretty sure you have never voted. 464 00:25:43,123 --> 00:25:46,543 No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880. Play of the week. 465 00:25:46,543 --> 00:25:48,963 You're like a child in a leather jacket. That's what you're like. 466 00:25:48,963 --> 00:25:50,130 Get out of the way, man. 467 00:25:50,130 --> 00:25:52,049 Wait. Are you David Ershon? 468 00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:55,469 Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, but I don't bother with the... 469 00:25:55,469 --> 00:25:58,806 Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you. 470 00:25:58,806 --> 00:26:02,142 - Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? - What? 471 00:26:02,142 --> 00:26:07,147 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used... 472 00:26:07,147 --> 00:26:09,316 - What's the next part? - As a floatation device. 473 00:26:09,316 --> 00:26:10,901 As a floatation device. 474 00:26:10,901 --> 00:26:14,571 You know what? That's very funny. I have never Miranda-ed anyone before. 475 00:26:14,571 --> 00:26:16,407 - Really? - Are you guys for real? 476 00:26:16,407 --> 00:26:17,574 Am I being punked? 477 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:19,994 Detective Allen Gamble. 478 00:26:19,994 --> 00:26:23,080 We are in a cocaine-covered car, and we are bringing in a perp. 479 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,916 - One David Ershon. - 175 pounds. 480 00:26:25,916 --> 00:26:28,085 - Thank you. 175 pounds. - Shut up, man, shut up. 481 00:26:28,085 --> 00:26:32,089 Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B talking to Shepard Smith right now. 482 00:26:32,089 --> 00:26:35,009 We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit? 483 00:26:35,009 --> 00:26:37,261 Wait, wait, wait, what am I being arrested for? 484 00:26:37,261 --> 00:26:39,263 For scaffolding permit violation... 485 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,107 - I got my insurance card. Somewhere. - Easy, mate. 486 00:26:50,107 --> 00:26:52,609 - What the hell? You ran right into us. - Stand over there. 487 00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:54,236 Wood? 488 00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:55,863 What the... 489 00:26:55,863 --> 00:26:57,781 - Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. - What? 490 00:26:57,781 --> 00:26:59,450 Do not let these men take me. 491 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,369 Hi. 492 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:04,955 Why's she looking at you like that? 493 00:27:04,955 --> 00:27:06,540 That's my car. 494 00:27:06,540 --> 00:27:10,419 Hey, hey, hey. We didn't exchange insurance information. 495 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,296 Hey. Excuse me. 496 00:27:13,214 --> 00:27:15,632 Why did they take our shoes? 497 00:27:15,632 --> 00:27:19,136 - What the hell just happened? - Where's my iPhone? 498 00:27:20,305 --> 00:27:22,389 I think we have walked 30 blocks, man. 499 00:27:22,389 --> 00:27:27,561 I don't get why we can't just call the office and have a squad car come pick us up. 500 00:27:27,561 --> 00:27:30,147 No. They took our shoes, our guns, and our car. 501 00:27:30,147 --> 00:27:31,815 There's no way that's going out on the radio. 502 00:27:32,233 --> 00:27:35,319 Look, if we're going to do this together, there's some issues we need to settle, okay? 503 00:27:35,319 --> 00:27:38,989 I mean, you said I had a weak chin. You said the way I pee is feminine. 504 00:27:38,989 --> 00:27:40,324 How do you think that makes me feel? 505 00:27:40,324 --> 00:27:45,496 I mean, that list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird. 506 00:27:45,496 --> 00:27:47,831 I hear you. 507 00:27:47,831 --> 00:27:52,669 Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start. 508 00:27:52,669 --> 00:27:55,339 All right. Fresh start. 509 00:27:57,092 --> 00:28:00,677 Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers, 510 00:28:00,677 --> 00:28:02,346 because it's feeling so fresh right now. 511 00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:04,973 Right? 512 00:28:05,266 --> 00:28:08,143 Let's do another fresh start, because I just wanted to punch you in the face. 513 00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:11,021 Fine, fresh start. 514 00:28:11,021 --> 00:28:12,856 It's the last one. 515 00:28:12,856 --> 00:28:14,858 I have to be able to express myself and say things, you know. 516 00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:20,614 - Okay, folks. Everybody, listen up. - Listen up. 517 00:28:20,614 --> 00:28:22,616 Got a high profile kidnapping. 518 00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:26,120 David Ershon, wealthy banker, multinational team. 519 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:28,288 Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell. 520 00:28:28,288 --> 00:28:32,793 Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes? because your feet are black. 521 00:28:32,793 --> 00:28:34,878 Who cares? It's not important, okay? 522 00:28:34,878 --> 00:28:37,506 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good. 523 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:41,051 - Bye, guys. - Bye-bye. 524 00:28:41,051 --> 00:28:42,219 Come on. 525 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,889 Guys, this is Don Beaman, the attorney for Mr. Ershon. 526 00:28:45,889 --> 00:28:48,058 Roger Wesley, head of his private security. 527 00:28:48,058 --> 00:28:50,060 - Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch. - Hey, hey, hey. 528 00:28:50,060 --> 00:28:51,895 Hey, Terry. Take it easy. 529 00:28:51,895 --> 00:28:53,981 - That's the guy who took our guns, Captain. - And my shoes. 530 00:28:53,981 --> 00:28:57,067 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you identify yourselves as police officers? 531 00:28:57,067 --> 00:28:58,235 What is this? 532 00:28:58,235 --> 00:29:00,654 - Allen, tell me. Did you? - No, we did not. 533 00:29:00,654 --> 00:29:04,741 Sorry, gentlemen. We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon. 534 00:29:05,326 --> 00:29:06,493 It's only protocol. 535 00:29:06,703 --> 00:29:11,331 Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this scaffolding situation. The case is closed. 536 00:29:11,331 --> 00:29:13,917 I have taken care of all necessary paperwork. 537 00:29:13,917 --> 00:29:16,086 And you fellas, at this point, should just be glad that 538 00:29:16,086 --> 00:29:19,673 Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force. 539 00:29:19,673 --> 00:29:21,258 - Thank you, Captain. - You bet. 540 00:29:21,759 --> 00:29:23,343 Australian? 541 00:29:23,343 --> 00:29:24,887 Special Forces, right? 542 00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:27,764 Best watch your step, Detective. 543 00:29:27,764 --> 00:29:30,601 There are three things I love in this world. 544 00:29:30,601 --> 00:29:31,768 Kylie Minogue, 545 00:29:33,354 --> 00:29:36,106 small dimples just above a woman's buttocks... 546 00:29:36,106 --> 00:29:37,608 Beautiful features. 547 00:29:37,608 --> 00:29:40,444 ...and the fear in a man's eye who knows I am about to hurt him. 548 00:29:40,444 --> 00:29:45,032 Hey. Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over. 549 00:29:45,032 --> 00:29:46,450 Come on, man. 550 00:29:48,995 --> 00:29:52,122 All right, look, they returned your shoes. 551 00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:56,793 And they returned your weapons. Here you go, Terry. 552 00:29:58,421 --> 00:30:01,089 Allen, someone was nice enough to put linseed oil on it, 553 00:30:01,089 --> 00:30:04,009 some kind of stain on that, dark walnut or something. 554 00:30:04,009 --> 00:30:06,678 You might want to think about dropping them a thank you note. 555 00:30:06,678 --> 00:30:07,888 Okay. 556 00:30:07,888 --> 00:30:09,097 You're mad at us, huh, Gene? 557 00:30:09,097 --> 00:30:12,893 First off, don't call me Gene. I am your captain. 558 00:30:12,893 --> 00:30:15,562 Guys, do you remember the "Be Smart" speech? 559 00:30:15,562 --> 00:30:16,772 - Sure. - All right. 560 00:30:16,772 --> 00:30:19,483 Well, what did you do? What'd you do about it? 561 00:30:19,483 --> 00:30:22,361 The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene. 562 00:30:22,361 --> 00:30:24,404 It's just "Captain." 563 00:30:24,404 --> 00:30:27,533 Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene." I don't have a kiddie show. 564 00:30:27,533 --> 00:30:29,284 That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene." 565 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:33,705 Police mistakenly arrest investment banker, David Ershon. 566 00:30:33,705 --> 00:30:36,708 Was he the victim of financial profiling? 567 00:30:36,708 --> 00:30:41,505 Financial profiling? That's crazy. He broke the law and we arrested him. 568 00:30:41,505 --> 00:30:45,676 That wasn't a security team. He said, "Don't let these people take me." 569 00:30:45,676 --> 00:30:48,178 I mean, when you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras. 570 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:51,265 What about donkeys or deer? 571 00:30:51,265 --> 00:30:53,350 They have hooves. What about bovine creatures? 572 00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:57,437 Were you just thinking to yourself, "Fresh start"? 573 00:30:57,437 --> 00:31:00,482 - Yeah. - Yeah. I could see it. 574 00:31:00,482 --> 00:31:02,651 Listen, why don't we just go over to my place? 575 00:31:02,651 --> 00:31:04,069 We will talk the case down. 576 00:31:04,069 --> 00:31:06,196 We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila. 577 00:31:06,196 --> 00:31:08,991 Two cops talking down a case while eating food, all right? 578 00:31:08,991 --> 00:31:10,242 - It's not dinner. - Fine. 579 00:31:10,242 --> 00:31:12,119 And let me apologize in advance, okay, 580 00:31:12,119 --> 00:31:14,580 in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch. 581 00:31:14,580 --> 00:31:19,876 She's a big old broad, and she likes to wield it. 582 00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:25,882 Okay, so I put together a little bio, complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon. 583 00:31:25,882 --> 00:31:29,386 I used Adobe Premiere. I like to do a little weekend editing. 584 00:31:29,386 --> 00:31:33,056 I recently just cut three minutes out of Goodfellas. 585 00:31:33,056 --> 00:31:36,393 David Ershon is currently the CEO of Ershon Consortium. 586 00:31:36,393 --> 00:31:37,561 Who's that talking? 587 00:31:37,561 --> 00:31:40,188 It's the Frontline Narration App. It's only 99 cents. 588 00:31:40,188 --> 00:31:44,276 Ershon Consortium, current financial investments exceed $70 billion. 589 00:31:44,276 --> 00:31:47,404 His largest clients include Schering-Plough and Lendl Global. 590 00:31:47,404 --> 00:31:50,198 Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't figure out what they do. 591 00:31:50,198 --> 00:31:53,368 Yeah, oil, media, health care, you have probably heard their jingle. 592 00:31:53,368 --> 00:31:56,413 Lendl Global, we're in everything 593 00:31:56,413 --> 00:31:59,333 David Ershon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia... 594 00:31:59,333 --> 00:32:01,752 - Yeah. ...and the lead singer of Maroon 5. 595 00:32:01,752 --> 00:32:03,670 I mean, this guy could be connected to drug cartels, 596 00:32:03,670 --> 00:32:06,590 black market organ sales, human trafficking, all of it. 597 00:32:06,590 --> 00:32:08,300 How do you get that from anything I just said? 598 00:32:08,300 --> 00:32:10,177 Hey, guys. Soup's on. 599 00:32:10,177 --> 00:32:11,637 What do you mean? 600 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:14,848 Hi. 601 00:32:14,848 --> 00:32:16,516 - Hi. - You must be Terry. 602 00:32:16,516 --> 00:32:19,811 I am sorry I have been hiding, honey, but this dinner was tricky. 603 00:32:21,230 --> 00:32:23,940 - Who are you? - I am Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife. 604 00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:26,860 - Come on, seriously. Who is that? - His old lady. 605 00:32:26,860 --> 00:32:29,446 - Sweetie, it's a workstation. - Got it. 606 00:32:29,446 --> 00:32:33,075 And you come in here, dressed like a hobo, it's distracting. 607 00:32:33,075 --> 00:32:35,118 I know you're working. I am so sorry. 608 00:32:35,118 --> 00:32:37,204 - Come on, seriously. - Come on, what? 609 00:32:37,204 --> 00:32:38,497 Who is that? 610 00:32:38,497 --> 00:32:40,624 That's the old... That's the old ball and chain. 611 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,503 Get over here. 612 00:32:44,503 --> 00:32:46,213 - Not... Not right now. - Okay. 613 00:32:46,213 --> 00:32:48,298 Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay? 614 00:32:48,675 --> 00:32:50,133 Come on, are you going to tell me who that is? 615 00:32:50,968 --> 00:32:54,471 - Are you really Allen's wife? - I know. 616 00:32:54,471 --> 00:32:58,016 People are shocked because he's Episcopalian and I am Catholic, 617 00:32:58,685 --> 00:33:00,143 but somehow it works. 618 00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:03,480 - Are you going to change? - I already did. 619 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,774 It's no big deal. You look really, really nice. 620 00:33:05,774 --> 00:33:09,945 Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay? She looks kind of shitty. 621 00:33:09,945 --> 00:33:11,363 Don't speak to her like that, Allen. 622 00:33:11,363 --> 00:33:15,992 Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App, you'd probably get a D-. 623 00:33:15,992 --> 00:33:18,078 Allen and his apps. He loves them. 624 00:33:18,078 --> 00:33:21,665 You know he's designed three of his own? One of them... Can I tell him? 625 00:33:22,291 --> 00:33:24,167 One of them, you can take a picture of anybody's face, 626 00:33:24,167 --> 00:33:27,045 and it will tell you what the back of his head looks like. 627 00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:28,630 - Faceback. - Faceback. 628 00:33:28,630 --> 00:33:30,799 Got some horrible reviews coming out of the gate. 629 00:33:31,175 --> 00:33:32,300 - It's going to hit. - It's going to catch. 630 00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:34,428 Why are you with Allen? 631 00:33:34,428 --> 00:33:38,390 I mean, that's not what I meant. I meant, how did you guys meet? 632 00:33:38,390 --> 00:33:41,226 It's a really typical "how we met" story, Terry. 633 00:33:41,226 --> 00:33:42,644 You're going to be bored by it. 634 00:33:42,644 --> 00:33:46,732 I was a dancer for the Knicks while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital. 635 00:33:46,732 --> 00:33:48,817 Allen came into the ER with poison ivy on his rectum. 636 00:33:48,817 --> 00:33:49,901 Yes. 637 00:33:50,403 --> 00:33:53,029 Needless to say, I fell for him immediately. 638 00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:57,659 We immediately spent the next three days at the La Quinta Inn, 639 00:33:58,411 --> 00:34:00,704 - and, to be honest, we didn't speak. - Three days 640 00:34:00,704 --> 00:34:03,373 of not communicating once verbally. 641 00:34:03,666 --> 00:34:05,709 We had actually, without knowing it, 642 00:34:05,709 --> 00:34:11,089 developed a language of eye flutters and non-verbal gestures. 643 00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:13,967 You know, Terry, it was just this primal connection. 644 00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:19,431 After those three days of non-verbal communication and a whole lot of loving, 645 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,976 I had to go to a specialist to get my hips realigned. 646 00:34:23,352 --> 00:34:26,980 Similar to operating on a German shepherd 647 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:31,318 - when they have hip dysplasia. - Very painful. 648 00:34:31,652 --> 00:34:35,655 It's funny, it's like a scene from that one movie, always forget the name of it. 649 00:34:35,655 --> 00:34:36,907 - With Meg Ryan. - Yes. 650 00:34:36,907 --> 00:34:39,993 I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass. 651 00:34:39,993 --> 00:34:42,496 - I will think of it. I will think of it. - Okay. 652 00:34:42,496 --> 00:34:44,247 So, what about you, Terry? Do you have a girl? 653 00:34:44,247 --> 00:34:46,333 I did, yeah. 654 00:34:46,333 --> 00:34:48,919 We were supposed to get married, but she backed out. It's complicated. 655 00:34:48,919 --> 00:34:51,421 - Terry shot Derek Jeter. - Shut up, Allen. This was before. 656 00:34:51,421 --> 00:34:52,756 That's okay. 657 00:34:52,756 --> 00:34:54,841 She's Got Mail. That's the name of the movie. 658 00:34:54,841 --> 00:34:56,843 That's it. Honey. 659 00:34:56,843 --> 00:34:58,011 - With Tom Hanks? - Right. 660 00:34:58,011 --> 00:34:59,179 - And Meg Ryan. - Meg Ryan. 661 00:34:59,179 --> 00:35:00,347 He didn't have poison ivy up his ass. 662 00:35:00,347 --> 00:35:01,765 - Yes, he did. - Yes, he did. Yeah. 663 00:35:01,765 --> 00:35:03,058 Way up there. 664 00:35:03,559 --> 00:35:06,144 Well, Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by. What a... 665 00:35:06,144 --> 00:35:07,854 What a wonderful, lovely evening. Thank you. 666 00:35:07,854 --> 00:35:11,566 - It was so, so nice meeting you, Terry. - It was my pleasure. Thank you. 667 00:35:11,566 --> 00:35:16,154 And remember, all I ask of you is, you don't let him get hurt, Terry. 668 00:35:16,154 --> 00:35:18,615 - She tells me that every day before I leave. - Yep, I do. 669 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:21,785 I come downstairs and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries, 670 00:35:21,785 --> 00:35:24,663 and I say, "Listen, my little sugar balls, whatever you do today, 671 00:35:24,663 --> 00:35:26,039 "you just don't get hurt." 672 00:35:26,039 --> 00:35:27,457 Yeah. Every morning. 673 00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:31,378 And then I show him my breasts, and I say, "These are waiting for you 674 00:35:31,378 --> 00:35:32,587 - "when you get back home." - Right. 675 00:35:32,587 --> 00:35:35,549 You know, Terry, they're not the biggest breasts he's ever seen, 676 00:35:35,549 --> 00:35:38,051 - but, man, are they perky. - Not by a long shot. 677 00:35:38,051 --> 00:35:40,804 - And they are firm, and they are yours. - You're a nice lady. 678 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:43,807 Thank you for coming. 679 00:35:44,183 --> 00:35:48,144 Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over. 680 00:35:48,144 --> 00:35:49,312 Go for Hoitz. 681 00:35:49,312 --> 00:35:50,939 - We found your red Prius. - Great. 682 00:35:50,939 --> 00:35:53,108 It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader. 683 00:35:53,108 --> 00:35:55,402 - Come on. - Okay, sugar balls, listen up. 684 00:35:55,402 --> 00:35:56,778 There's going to be fingerprints on that car. 685 00:35:56,778 --> 00:35:59,197 Tomorrow, we're going to run those fingerprints through the system. 686 00:35:59,197 --> 00:36:02,951 And if we get a hit, this case is going to heat up faster than a junkie's spoon. 687 00:36:02,951 --> 00:36:05,370 You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow, bring it. 688 00:36:05,370 --> 00:36:06,538 - Okay. - Thank you, Sheila. 689 00:36:06,538 --> 00:36:07,706 He will bring it. 690 00:36:07,706 --> 00:36:09,416 - Good night. - Good night. 691 00:36:09,416 --> 00:36:10,834 Thank you, Sheila. 692 00:36:11,168 --> 00:36:14,212 - Bye, Terry. - Bye, Sheila. I will never forget tonight. 693 00:36:14,212 --> 00:36:16,089 - Bye, Terry. - All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside. 694 00:36:16,089 --> 00:36:17,257 Bye, Sheila. 695 00:36:17,257 --> 00:36:18,842 - Night. - See you... See you, Terry. 696 00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:20,844 Bye, Sheila. 697 00:36:24,807 --> 00:36:27,392 I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry. 698 00:36:27,392 --> 00:36:29,060 Bye, Sheila. 699 00:36:32,523 --> 00:36:36,902 Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night. 700 00:36:36,902 --> 00:36:38,653 You find anything? 701 00:36:38,653 --> 00:36:41,489 Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. 702 00:36:41,489 --> 00:36:43,533 From bodily fluid and hair samples, 703 00:36:43,533 --> 00:36:46,661 we determined that a bunch of old, homeless dudes had an orgy in the car. 704 00:36:46,661 --> 00:36:48,955 - Oh, God. - Yeah. 705 00:36:49,373 --> 00:36:50,957 You know what that's called when they do that in there? 706 00:36:50,957 --> 00:36:52,542 That's called a soup kitchen. 707 00:36:52,542 --> 00:36:54,210 It's pretty rough stuff. 708 00:36:54,210 --> 00:36:57,797 Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along 709 00:36:57,797 --> 00:36:59,299 and gave birth on the floor. 710 00:37:00,134 --> 00:37:01,718 Placenta blew out all over the back window there. 711 00:37:02,845 --> 00:37:05,472 Yeah, and then to top it all off, some joker comes along 712 00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:08,850 takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat. 713 00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,935 I think he knew you guys were cops, 714 00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:13,813 because this is what I would call a spite shit. 715 00:37:14,273 --> 00:37:15,690 You were able to determine all of that 716 00:37:15,690 --> 00:37:17,609 - from the hair and fluid samples? - Oh, yeah. 717 00:37:17,985 --> 00:37:19,861 What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints? 718 00:37:19,861 --> 00:37:21,988 - Nope, couldn't get a one. - Found a cell phone. 719 00:37:22,448 --> 00:37:23,657 Yeah, that's mine. 720 00:37:23,657 --> 00:37:25,200 Any signs of a struggle or spent shells? 721 00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:29,996 No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than willing. 722 00:37:29,996 --> 00:37:32,165 In fact, they even left you a note here. 723 00:37:32,165 --> 00:37:35,960 "Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys." 724 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,087 Here's something we found. 725 00:37:37,087 --> 00:37:39,798 We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets. 726 00:37:39,798 --> 00:37:43,009 No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out. 727 00:37:43,009 --> 00:37:46,513 Yeah, it's a real shame, you know. I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine. 728 00:37:47,348 --> 00:37:50,308 It's my first brand-new car. I have never owned a new car. 729 00:37:50,308 --> 00:37:52,185 Found a deer vagina. 730 00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:55,230 - What? - Thought it was human lips at first. 731 00:37:55,230 --> 00:37:57,816 Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina. 732 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,319 Not even a free ticket. 733 00:38:02,321 --> 00:38:03,530 What are we going to do? 734 00:38:03,530 --> 00:38:06,700 We got no fingerprints, a bunch of losing lottery tickets. 735 00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:09,661 Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call made after we were jumped. 736 00:38:09,995 --> 00:38:11,913 - They used your phone? - They ghost dialed. 737 00:38:11,913 --> 00:38:13,164 Someone probably sat on it. 738 00:38:13,164 --> 00:38:16,000 It could have recorded some of their conversation when Ershon got grabbed. 739 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,460 We got to hear the other side of that call. 740 00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:19,963 Nope, no, it's nothing. 741 00:38:19,963 --> 00:38:22,298 - Nothing? It's the only lead we have. - It's nothing. It's nothing. 742 00:38:22,298 --> 00:38:23,800 Why did you just get super-jumpy? 743 00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:25,969 What? 744 00:38:25,969 --> 00:38:28,012 It's an ex-girlfriend, okay? 745 00:38:28,012 --> 00:38:29,848 What's the matter? What happened with you guys? 746 00:38:29,848 --> 00:38:31,808 She was just a bit of a handful, that's it. 747 00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:38,732 Allen, it's the only lead we have. 748 00:38:38,732 --> 00:38:41,192 We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now. 749 00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:43,653 Fine. Let's go see her. 750 00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:57,792 Hello, Christinith. 751 00:38:57,792 --> 00:38:59,502 Hello, Allen. 752 00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:04,674 - That's my partner, Terry. - Hi, Telly. 753 00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:08,261 - Holy shit. Dude. - Just relax, relax. 754 00:39:09,054 --> 00:39:13,433 I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours. 755 00:39:14,393 --> 00:39:16,352 That was 13 years ago. 756 00:39:19,398 --> 00:39:24,360 Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert. Who wants some Arnie Palmies? 757 00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:27,280 Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here. 758 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,575 - Hal, just place it down, please. - All righty. 759 00:39:31,410 --> 00:39:32,619 Okay. 760 00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:41,878 I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since. 761 00:39:41,878 --> 00:39:42,962 No. 762 00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:46,132 - Christinith, your husband, it's awkward. - Oh, no, he knows all of this. 763 00:39:46,132 --> 00:39:48,760 - You're a lucky dog. - It's true. 764 00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:53,640 Christine, this is a lovely house. 765 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,768 It's Christinith. Are you stupid, or are you deaf? 766 00:39:56,977 --> 00:39:59,604 Christinith, you idiot. 767 00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:04,275 You come to our house, you get my wife's name right. 768 00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:06,069 - What? - Christinith. 769 00:40:06,069 --> 00:40:08,947 Look, we really appreciate the hospitality. 770 00:40:09,281 --> 00:40:11,407 We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone. 771 00:40:11,407 --> 00:40:15,453 We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping. 772 00:40:15,453 --> 00:40:20,959 Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen, and I will let you listen to it 773 00:40:20,959 --> 00:40:24,587 and everyone else stay here. 774 00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:27,632 - Okay, sweetie. - Come on. 775 00:40:31,470 --> 00:40:33,847 - There's my phone. - Great, thank you for... 776 00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:40,645 I hate you, you son of a bitch. 777 00:40:40,645 --> 00:40:44,107 - You're so strong. - I am stronger than you will ever know. 778 00:40:44,107 --> 00:40:47,235 I hate you. I hate you. 779 00:40:47,235 --> 00:40:50,822 You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face. 780 00:40:50,822 --> 00:40:54,868 You go, "I wuv you." Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith." 781 00:41:00,666 --> 00:41:05,086 You probably think because of the beard that I am really hairy. 782 00:41:05,086 --> 00:41:07,171 But I am not. 783 00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:10,049 Shaved. 784 00:41:10,551 --> 00:41:12,260 - Allen. - He's fine. 785 00:41:13,220 --> 00:41:14,429 Question. 786 00:41:15,472 --> 00:41:16,639 What would you rather be, 787 00:41:18,017 --> 00:41:20,476 a bear or a dog? 788 00:41:20,476 --> 00:41:23,563 I don't care. I want to be...... 789 00:41:24,940 --> 00:41:27,525 ....a bear dog. Half dog, half bear. 790 00:41:28,193 --> 00:41:30,570 because that way, I could live in the house 791 00:41:30,821 --> 00:41:33,781 but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods. 792 00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:35,742 Allen. 793 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,539 Allen. Allen. 794 00:41:41,539 --> 00:41:44,834 - This is police evidence. Terry. Let's go. - Hey. 795 00:41:44,834 --> 00:41:47,462 You get back here and you make love to my wife. 796 00:41:47,462 --> 00:41:49,088 Allen. Allen. 797 00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:53,468 I don't get it, man. I just do not get it. 798 00:41:53,468 --> 00:41:55,803 I mean, that girl Christinith was seriously hot. 799 00:41:55,803 --> 00:41:57,513 Your wife is crazy hot. 800 00:41:57,513 --> 00:42:00,642 I mean, even that Brazilian security chick, she threw you a "Do me" vibe. 801 00:42:00,642 --> 00:42:02,393 What is it with you and hot ladies? 802 00:42:02,393 --> 00:42:05,855 First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot. 803 00:42:05,855 --> 00:42:10,026 Dude, you're insane. Your wife is scalding hot. 804 00:42:10,026 --> 00:42:12,487 - You want to listen to this message or not? - Yeah, whatever. 805 00:42:12,487 --> 00:42:14,155 You have one job, mate. 806 00:42:14,155 --> 00:42:16,240 Find a sucker to invest with you 807 00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:18,284 so you can pay my boss back the money you lost. 808 00:42:18,284 --> 00:42:19,577 And I don't care who. 809 00:42:19,577 --> 00:42:21,996 Right. I actually think I found a sucker... 810 00:42:21,996 --> 00:42:24,540 - He's talking to Ershon. ...to invest $32 billion. 811 00:42:24,540 --> 00:42:26,209 Who's got $32 billion to rob? 812 00:42:26,209 --> 00:42:28,586 Once I get the money, I will falsify the records 813 00:42:28,586 --> 00:42:31,422 to show their massive losses and then repay your employer. 814 00:42:31,422 --> 00:42:35,176 Now, since you're following me, I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue, 815 00:42:35,176 --> 00:42:36,844 and after that... 816 00:42:36,844 --> 00:42:38,721 I told you it wasn't a security team. 817 00:42:39,014 --> 00:42:42,183 - He was being abducted. - Obviously, but what kind... Holy... 818 00:42:42,183 --> 00:42:43,810 Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife. 819 00:42:43,810 --> 00:42:45,061 - Is that him? - Yeah. 820 00:42:45,061 --> 00:42:46,938 Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere. 821 00:42:46,938 --> 00:42:48,856 - Holy shit. - They chased us 20 miles. 822 00:42:48,856 --> 00:42:51,150 - You come back here. You get back here. - Allen. 823 00:42:58,909 --> 00:43:02,495 2300 Park Avenue. It's the offices of the lottery. 824 00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:05,331 Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found. 825 00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:08,126 Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses. 826 00:43:08,126 --> 00:43:11,045 $32 billion. That's the state's money. 827 00:43:11,045 --> 00:43:13,339 Well, what do we tell Mauch? A guy lost some money. 828 00:43:13,339 --> 00:43:16,926 We have a scratchy cell phone message and an address. It's still half a case. 829 00:43:16,926 --> 00:43:20,972 There's got to be some sort of paper trail. If we can find that, we can track it, 830 00:43:20,972 --> 00:43:22,265 then we can go to Mauch. 831 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:27,020 So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm, 832 00:43:27,020 --> 00:43:28,813 and I found some pretty interesting stuff. 833 00:43:28,813 --> 00:43:32,066 It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has... 834 00:43:33,527 --> 00:43:35,194 Hold on, I am up. 835 00:43:36,530 --> 00:43:39,574 "I gave my love to Erin 836 00:43:40,534 --> 00:43:44,203 "She promised to be true 837 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:48,750 "I went to war to come back 838 00:43:48,750 --> 00:43:52,795 "And find five British soldiers 839 00:43:52,795 --> 00:43:56,090 "Had their way with her 840 00:43:56,090 --> 00:44:00,636 "It was consensual." 841 00:44:01,388 --> 00:44:02,430 Done? 842 00:44:02,430 --> 00:44:05,475 Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm in Fair Lawn, New Jersey 843 00:44:05,475 --> 00:44:08,644 has only one client, David Ershon. 844 00:44:08,644 --> 00:44:11,272 Pretty rinky-dink operation for a guy like that. 845 00:44:11,272 --> 00:44:14,067 Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm. 846 00:44:14,067 --> 00:44:16,903 That's a shitty day. 847 00:44:18,155 --> 00:44:22,200 And all their fathers were hanged 848 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,745 And the children all got pink eye 849 00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:34,670 While their Harry Potter books were burned 850 00:44:40,302 --> 00:44:42,720 Do you have fun singing those songs? They're really depressing. 851 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:45,264 I do. They're full of rich history. 852 00:44:46,433 --> 00:44:48,434 Damn it, I am late. I was supposed to go meet my lady. 853 00:44:48,434 --> 00:44:50,895 I thought you said you guys split up. 854 00:44:50,895 --> 00:44:53,523 Let's just keep our thing about work, okay? 855 00:44:53,523 --> 00:44:55,191 All right. Goodbye, buddy. 856 00:44:55,191 --> 00:44:57,276 Hey, get off me, man. 857 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:18,589 What the hell are you doing? 858 00:45:18,589 --> 00:45:21,259 I am dancing, Terry. What the hell are you doing here? 859 00:45:21,259 --> 00:45:23,511 I love you, Francine. 860 00:45:23,511 --> 00:45:26,848 If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills. 861 00:45:26,848 --> 00:45:31,978 This is a ballet studio, Terry. Okay? These poles are horizontal. 862 00:45:31,978 --> 00:45:34,105 He loves you very much, Francine. 863 00:45:34,105 --> 00:45:36,649 - Who is this guy? - What are you doing here, Allen? 864 00:45:36,649 --> 00:45:38,359 It's the code. I am your partner. 865 00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:41,612 I am here to support a friend and a work colleague. 866 00:45:41,612 --> 00:45:43,197 Francine, is this guy bothering you? 867 00:45:43,197 --> 00:45:46,159 Who's this, your new boyfriend? Great. You got a new boyfriend. 868 00:45:46,159 --> 00:45:49,662 He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay? 869 00:45:49,662 --> 00:45:51,539 I know that this is a big surprise, 870 00:45:51,539 --> 00:45:54,500 but there are other things in the world besides being a cop. Okay? 871 00:45:55,169 --> 00:45:58,004 Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to dance. 872 00:45:58,004 --> 00:45:59,881 What, you don't think I can do this shit? 873 00:46:16,398 --> 00:46:18,608 That was surprisingly good, Terry. 874 00:46:18,901 --> 00:46:21,611 - I love you, Francine. - You don't know what love is. 875 00:46:21,611 --> 00:46:23,654 He loves you very much, Francine. 876 00:46:23,654 --> 00:46:25,656 I heard it when he said it. Thank you. 877 00:46:25,656 --> 00:46:27,950 You know what you're doing to me? You're killing me inside. 878 00:46:27,950 --> 00:46:29,160 And don't eyeball me, man. 879 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,204 You're running around with this crack-dealing drug addict? 880 00:46:31,204 --> 00:46:32,371 Terry. 881 00:46:32,371 --> 00:46:34,165 He does not approve of your behavior. 882 00:46:34,165 --> 00:46:36,209 Can you please go? 883 00:46:36,209 --> 00:46:38,586 And you, too, creepy guy standing in the door? 884 00:46:42,716 --> 00:46:43,925 Let's go, Allen. 885 00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:46,969 I think we all experienced our own ballet today. 886 00:46:47,304 --> 00:46:49,096 The ballet of emotion and feelings. 887 00:46:49,556 --> 00:46:51,140 You're kind of making things worse. 888 00:47:00,734 --> 00:47:03,569 - You okay? - Yeah, I am fine. 889 00:47:05,072 --> 00:47:07,573 Hey, I didn't know you could dance. 890 00:47:08,450 --> 00:47:10,910 We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids, 891 00:47:10,910 --> 00:47:12,411 show them how queer they were, okay? 892 00:47:14,289 --> 00:47:17,291 - You learned to dance like that sarcastically? - Yeah, I guess. 893 00:47:17,291 --> 00:47:20,920 Stay out of my personal life, okay? The kid flies private. 894 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,173 Stay focused on the case, man. I will see you in Jersey tomorrow. 895 00:47:24,591 --> 00:47:26,175 All right, Terry. 896 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:30,304 Hey, that was liberating for me. I don't know how it felt for you. 897 00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:56,205 Here, check this out. Article from six months ago. 898 00:47:56,205 --> 00:47:57,873 Talking about how the lottery is looking 899 00:47:57,873 --> 00:48:00,710 to invest their $30-billion fund more aggressively. 900 00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:01,961 So he's dealing drugs? 901 00:48:02,546 --> 00:48:06,340 No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice. 902 00:48:09,469 --> 00:48:11,304 Look, I am sorry. I just... 903 00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:16,684 I am in a bit of a state today. Sheila and I got into it last night. 904 00:48:17,227 --> 00:48:18,602 What happened? 905 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,316 She was interested in taking this class at The Learning Annex, right? 906 00:48:23,942 --> 00:48:25,860 Called "The Art of Oral Sex"? 907 00:48:26,153 --> 00:48:28,821 You know, we just don't have it in the budget right now. 908 00:48:29,448 --> 00:48:31,407 It's always about her. 909 00:48:31,825 --> 00:48:33,784 Yeah, that's... That's messed up. 910 00:48:35,495 --> 00:48:36,662 Hey, I got you a gift. 911 00:48:37,497 --> 00:48:41,250 I just saw something, and I thought of you, and so, I don't want it to be weird. 912 00:48:41,250 --> 00:48:42,501 I just wanted to be nice. 913 00:48:42,501 --> 00:48:43,919 Of course it's weird. 914 00:48:43,919 --> 00:48:45,838 It's a grown man giving another man a present. 915 00:48:47,507 --> 00:48:49,842 There you go. Open it up. 916 00:48:50,427 --> 00:48:52,345 It's okay, you're welcome. 917 00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:54,847 I like to do things like that. 918 00:48:54,847 --> 00:48:57,016 Take a look what it says. 919 00:49:05,817 --> 00:49:08,277 You know, because we're both in law enforcement. 920 00:49:08,277 --> 00:49:09,945 We both like women. 921 00:49:09,945 --> 00:49:13,074 But I got a weird sense of humor. I am a sick puppy. 922 00:49:13,408 --> 00:49:15,534 I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard. 923 00:49:15,534 --> 00:49:16,911 Me, too. 924 00:49:20,332 --> 00:49:23,501 Real nice. You know, it's all class. 925 00:49:25,754 --> 00:49:27,129 - Okay. - Don't do that shit any more. 926 00:49:27,129 --> 00:49:28,964 Yeah, believe me, I won't. 927 00:49:29,341 --> 00:49:31,634 Do you understand what's so funny about it, though? 928 00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:36,806 because it's the FBI, right? It has the same logo, the same shield. 929 00:49:36,806 --> 00:49:39,975 And at first glance, you're like, it's just a mug that says "FBI." 930 00:49:39,975 --> 00:49:44,939 But then at second glance, you're like, "Female Body Inspector"? 931 00:49:44,939 --> 00:49:47,191 Get out of town. This is outrageous...... 932 00:49:47,191 --> 00:49:48,609 Shut up. 933 00:50:01,123 --> 00:50:03,290 I am going to climb over that anger wall of yours 934 00:50:03,290 --> 00:50:04,458 one of these days, 935 00:50:04,458 --> 00:50:06,710 and it's going to be glorious. 936 00:50:10,298 --> 00:50:12,925 Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're going to check this place out? 937 00:50:12,925 --> 00:50:14,635 For what? We're just going to check it out. 938 00:50:14,635 --> 00:50:17,138 I know, but it's procedure. 939 00:50:17,138 --> 00:50:19,348 Terry answers to no one. 940 00:50:20,016 --> 00:50:22,184 I do what I do. 941 00:50:23,228 --> 00:50:25,688 What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m. On a Tuesday? 942 00:50:25,688 --> 00:50:27,022 This is a shithole. 943 00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:35,781 I love bombs. 944 00:50:35,781 --> 00:50:39,034 I can't hear. I can't hear. 945 00:50:40,495 --> 00:50:42,496 There's blood blisters on my hands. 946 00:50:42,496 --> 00:50:43,664 Oh, my God. 947 00:50:43,664 --> 00:50:46,041 How do they walk away in movies without flinching 948 00:50:46,041 --> 00:50:47,835 when it explodes behind them? 949 00:50:47,835 --> 00:50:51,172 There's no way. I call bullshit on that. 950 00:50:51,506 --> 00:50:54,842 When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, 951 00:50:54,842 --> 00:50:58,929 and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit. 952 00:50:58,929 --> 00:51:02,308 Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars. That was all accurate. 953 00:51:02,308 --> 00:51:04,351 I need an MRI. 954 00:51:04,351 --> 00:51:08,731 I need an MRI. I have got soft tissue damage. 955 00:51:09,191 --> 00:51:11,233 There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage. 956 00:51:11,233 --> 00:51:12,401 Please stop. 957 00:51:12,401 --> 00:51:14,195 I just want to go somewhere and breastfeed right now. 958 00:51:18,366 --> 00:51:22,745 Fire Department said it was a gas leak, but no way. That was timed. 959 00:51:22,745 --> 00:51:24,622 They didn't want to kill us, but they wanted to scare us. 960 00:51:24,622 --> 00:51:27,208 Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay? 961 00:51:27,208 --> 00:51:29,919 I am tired of this. All right? 962 00:51:29,919 --> 00:51:32,546 I am tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me. 963 00:51:32,546 --> 00:51:34,757 I want to go back to my desk. 964 00:51:34,757 --> 00:51:38,344 Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears. 965 00:51:38,344 --> 00:51:40,888 You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life. 966 00:51:40,888 --> 00:51:43,724 You know what? Yes, you can. I have done it for years, okay? 967 00:51:43,724 --> 00:51:46,727 There's no explosions at my desk. 968 00:51:46,727 --> 00:51:51,732 There's no explosions at my home with my plain wife, in my plain house. 969 00:51:54,069 --> 00:51:55,819 What are you afraid of, man? 970 00:51:56,947 --> 00:52:01,450 I am your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from? 971 00:52:02,244 --> 00:52:04,578 I was a sophomore in college. 972 00:52:05,956 --> 00:52:10,084 The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition. 973 00:52:11,169 --> 00:52:17,007 A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort to raise money and stay in school, 974 00:52:17,007 --> 00:52:19,051 came up with a nifty plan 975 00:52:19,051 --> 00:52:21,595 where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money. 976 00:52:21,595 --> 00:52:23,347 I go on dates all the time, 977 00:52:23,347 --> 00:52:25,558 with a whole bunch of, you know, boys and stuff. 978 00:52:25,558 --> 00:52:28,978 And I kind of need somebody to help me out, like, you know, my partner in crime. 979 00:52:29,604 --> 00:52:31,814 Yeah, I could make a schedule. 980 00:52:31,814 --> 00:52:33,482 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking. 981 00:52:33,482 --> 00:52:36,110 - Provide transportation services. - Yeah, yeah. 982 00:52:36,110 --> 00:52:38,320 - It's going to be a good time. - Thanks so much for asking me. 983 00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,864 She said she needed my help to make sure that the dates went okay 984 00:52:40,864 --> 00:52:44,410 and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage. 985 00:52:44,410 --> 00:52:47,788 - Oh, my God. You were a pimp. - What? God, no. 986 00:52:47,788 --> 00:52:49,957 No, I was just trying to help a friend. 987 00:52:49,957 --> 00:52:52,626 We started making a lot of money. 988 00:52:53,628 --> 00:52:56,505 And wouldn't you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends 989 00:52:56,505 --> 00:52:59,300 decided they wanted to be a part of it. 990 00:52:59,300 --> 00:53:02,052 Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting 991 00:53:02,052 --> 00:53:03,762 while they gave me money. 992 00:53:03,762 --> 00:53:05,389 That's called a stable of whores. 993 00:53:06,308 --> 00:53:11,228 We decided I shouldn't use my real name. So we came up with the name "Gator." 994 00:53:11,479 --> 00:53:12,938 I am telling you, you were a pimp. 995 00:53:12,938 --> 00:53:15,649 No. Are you even listening to the story? 996 00:53:18,486 --> 00:53:20,529 Anyway, one day, I wake up and I look in the mirror, 997 00:53:20,529 --> 00:53:22,865 and I don't like what I see. 998 00:53:24,159 --> 00:53:27,661 I mean, I had gotten out of control, and I didn't even realize it. 999 00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:30,831 You can't have a conscience in the pimp game. 1000 00:53:31,541 --> 00:53:33,292 One night, two of my favorite girls, 1001 00:53:33,292 --> 00:53:35,586 Candy and Jolene, said, "We got to take you in," 1002 00:53:35,586 --> 00:53:37,963 and they dropped me off at the emergency room. 1003 00:53:37,963 --> 00:53:39,965 That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess. 1004 00:53:39,965 --> 00:53:45,262 I made a promise to myself and to her that I would never get out of control again. 1005 00:53:46,097 --> 00:53:47,473 So, as soon as I graduated from college, 1006 00:53:47,473 --> 00:53:50,517 I became an accountant for the police department. 1007 00:53:51,102 --> 00:53:53,854 The most stable job I could think of. 1008 00:53:55,398 --> 00:53:57,858 An accountant for law and order. 1009 00:54:00,111 --> 00:54:04,198 I just don't want to ever feel out of control like that ever again. 1010 00:54:04,198 --> 00:54:06,992 Don't worry. I got your back. 1011 00:54:06,992 --> 00:54:09,495 Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks. 1012 00:54:09,495 --> 00:54:13,374 - I am tired of all this tippy-toeing around. - Okay. 1013 00:54:13,708 --> 00:54:16,418 You can either walk the plank or take your panties off. 1014 00:54:16,418 --> 00:54:18,128 The choice is yours. 1015 00:54:18,128 --> 00:54:22,466 - I want to take my panties off. - You have made a wise choice, you have. 1016 00:54:22,466 --> 00:54:27,388 Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here. 1017 00:54:27,889 --> 00:54:29,139 Gentlemen, please. 1018 00:54:29,139 --> 00:54:32,518 - Remember us, hotshot? - Of course I do. Please, sit. 1019 00:54:32,518 --> 00:54:34,269 There she blows. 1020 00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:39,942 Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber. 1021 00:54:39,942 --> 00:54:43,153 Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office. 1022 00:54:43,488 --> 00:54:45,739 Yes, that awful gas leak. 1023 00:54:45,739 --> 00:54:49,743 Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now. 1024 00:54:49,743 --> 00:54:54,873 I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way. 1025 00:54:54,873 --> 00:54:57,668 I absolutely abhor death. 1026 00:54:57,919 --> 00:55:01,422 Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. The jig is up, okay? 1027 00:55:01,422 --> 00:55:03,340 We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you. 1028 00:55:03,340 --> 00:55:05,759 And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses. 1029 00:55:05,759 --> 00:55:08,178 You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises. 1030 00:55:08,596 --> 00:55:11,306 God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water? 1031 00:55:11,306 --> 00:55:12,891 Shut up, Allen. 1032 00:55:12,891 --> 00:55:16,270 I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1033 00:55:16,270 --> 00:55:20,274 I understand there was a bit of a mix-up with the whole scaffolding business. 1034 00:55:20,274 --> 00:55:25,779 The cucumber accents the water in such a way that... 1035 00:55:26,948 --> 00:55:31,660 Perhaps by way of apology, I can offer you my personal courtside seats 1036 00:55:31,660 --> 00:55:35,956 for the Knicks game, with access to the Ambassador Club. 1037 00:55:38,293 --> 00:55:43,130 Come on, Knicks. Come on. I got Knicks' fever and it's catching. 1038 00:55:44,799 --> 00:55:48,802 Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe. 1039 00:55:48,802 --> 00:55:53,432 It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw courtside and I went blind. 1040 00:55:53,432 --> 00:55:54,808 Come on. 1041 00:55:55,643 --> 00:55:56,977 Call me. 1042 00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,230 - Excuse me. - That was a trick. 1043 00:56:00,230 --> 00:56:01,690 No more. 1044 00:56:01,690 --> 00:56:07,154 Gentlemen, you have a choice. Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys. 1045 00:56:10,492 --> 00:56:13,535 Fantastic. You're so unbelievable. 1046 00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:20,000 Damn it. He did it again. 1047 00:56:20,919 --> 00:56:23,212 - Excuse me. - No more tickets. 1048 00:56:23,212 --> 00:56:25,214 Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep them in the waiting room. 1049 00:56:25,214 --> 00:56:28,550 That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters with Mediterranean limes. 1050 00:56:28,550 --> 00:56:30,511 No, no, no. No more water. We're not here for that. 1051 00:56:30,511 --> 00:56:32,638 No, I was very much looking forward to having a water. 1052 00:56:32,638 --> 00:56:37,184 - How great is Jersey Boys? - It's not great. It's fantastic. 1053 00:56:37,184 --> 00:56:40,604 You totally undersold it. The pageantry, the costumes. 1054 00:56:40,604 --> 00:56:42,314 Wow, what a musical. 1055 00:56:42,314 --> 00:56:44,274 Hey. Get over here. 1056 00:56:45,401 --> 00:56:46,568 - What's wrong with you? - What? 1057 00:56:46,568 --> 00:56:48,195 That's not what we're here for. 1058 00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:51,198 We're going to do good cop, bad cop. Okay? 1059 00:56:51,449 --> 00:56:54,493 It's the oldest game in the book for a reason, it works. 1060 00:56:54,493 --> 00:56:55,911 I come strong, then you come in. 1061 00:56:55,911 --> 00:56:57,079 - You got it? - Yeah. 1062 00:56:57,079 --> 00:56:59,832 - I come strong, then you come in. - Right. Got it. 1063 00:56:59,832 --> 00:57:01,875 Now you listen to me, you piece of shit. 1064 00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:04,670 It's just you and me, and I am going to rip you apart. 1065 00:57:04,670 --> 00:57:08,966 How did you cover your losses up? What drug cartel are you working with now? 1066 00:57:08,966 --> 00:57:12,970 - Okay, I will talk to you, you're reasonable. - No, no, look at me. 1067 00:57:12,970 --> 00:57:15,514 You want to talk to me? You want to talk to me? 1068 00:57:15,514 --> 00:57:19,101 Allen, what are you doing? What are you doing? Allen. 1069 00:57:19,936 --> 00:57:22,229 I am going to make you eat a plate of human shit. 1070 00:57:22,897 --> 00:57:24,648 Get away from me. 1071 00:57:29,404 --> 00:57:30,821 Where is he? 1072 00:57:32,907 --> 00:57:35,450 Look, I am really sorry about that. 1073 00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,829 I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought, 1074 00:57:38,829 --> 00:57:42,541 "Wow, I got to go even bigger than that, since we're doing bad cop, bad cop." 1075 00:57:42,541 --> 00:57:47,713 What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop." I am the bad cop, you're the good cop. 1076 00:57:47,713 --> 00:57:52,259 Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop." 1077 00:57:52,594 --> 00:57:55,971 Well, while you were going crazy, look what I snagged from his desk. 1078 00:57:55,971 --> 00:57:58,140 - Think it's his phone sheet. - Nice. 1079 00:57:58,474 --> 00:58:00,183 Seven calls to the lottery office. 1080 00:58:00,518 --> 00:58:02,102 That could be the evidence we need for Mauch. 1081 00:58:04,814 --> 00:58:07,691 - Get back. Colombian drug lords. - Where are you getting that from? 1082 00:58:09,485 --> 00:58:10,694 Jesus. 1083 00:58:19,495 --> 00:58:21,955 Can you imagine where you'd be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter? 1084 00:58:29,797 --> 00:58:33,091 - We call this in, right? - Looks like we got all the evidence we need. 1085 00:58:33,091 --> 00:58:35,302 I am sorry, my butterfly. 1086 00:58:36,638 --> 00:58:39,556 We will load them up, send them back to go. 1087 00:58:48,316 --> 00:58:51,610 - Holy shit. - What? 1088 00:58:51,610 --> 00:58:54,404 What do you mean, what? Where are we? 1089 00:58:55,823 --> 00:58:57,199 We're in the high desert. 1090 00:58:57,199 --> 00:59:01,036 They took my shoes again, man. What the hell is it with taking shoes? 1091 00:59:01,036 --> 00:59:02,663 - They took your wooden gun? - Yeah. 1092 00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:11,463 - Hello? - Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain. 1093 00:59:11,463 --> 00:59:12,965 Captain, it's Allen Gamble. 1094 00:59:12,965 --> 00:59:14,883 Yeah, yeah. Where are you? What's going on? 1095 00:59:14,883 --> 00:59:17,260 Captain, it's a long story, but I am just going to cut to the chase. 1096 00:59:17,260 --> 00:59:19,304 We are in Las Vegas, all right? 1097 00:59:19,304 --> 00:59:22,766 We were kidnapped, put on a freight train, and shipped out here. 1098 00:59:22,766 --> 00:59:25,268 Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me. 1099 00:59:25,268 --> 00:59:26,728 Captain, I am being straight with you. 1100 00:59:26,728 --> 00:59:29,147 Look, we think something's going on, okay? 1101 00:59:29,147 --> 00:59:32,109 We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses. 1102 00:59:32,109 --> 00:59:37,614 Wait. How many times did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"? 1103 00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:39,408 Terry, Captain wants to know 1104 00:59:39,408 --> 00:59:41,410 how many times has he asked us to lay off Ershon. 1105 00:59:41,410 --> 00:59:42,577 Twice. 1106 00:59:43,413 --> 00:59:45,205 Twice. Terry says twice. I agree. 1107 00:59:45,205 --> 00:59:47,374 I am hanging up. I am done. 1108 00:59:51,629 --> 00:59:56,216 I got to tell you, I started getting a hand for that, a taste for that Pai Gow. 1109 00:59:56,884 --> 01:00:01,471 Martin and Fosse, super cops, in three, two... 1110 01:00:01,471 --> 01:00:07,436 So, we busted that junkie. Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou. 1111 01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:09,980 Solved the Castien case. 1112 01:00:09,980 --> 01:00:12,858 $74,000? That's all they took? 1113 01:00:12,858 --> 01:00:15,193 There's millions of dollars of diamonds in that place. 1114 01:00:15,193 --> 01:00:17,446 How about this, Gamble? How about you shut your face? 1115 01:00:17,446 --> 01:00:19,114 All right? Just shut it. 1116 01:00:19,114 --> 01:00:20,824 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you. 1117 01:00:23,786 --> 01:00:26,038 I know it's off the subject, but is Kevlar copyrighted? 1118 01:00:26,038 --> 01:00:27,414 - Captain? - Yeah. 1119 01:00:27,414 --> 01:00:30,000 - Is it a bad time? - No, come on. Come on. 1120 01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:32,210 - Not me, right? - Yeah, and you. 1121 01:00:32,210 --> 01:00:36,006 Fellows, I am sure you're familiar with the venerable DA Radford. 1122 01:00:36,006 --> 01:00:37,758 He wanted to come down and pay us a visit. 1123 01:00:37,758 --> 01:00:39,092 Hello, gentlemen. 1124 01:00:39,092 --> 01:00:40,302 - Hello, sir. - Hey. 1125 01:00:40,302 --> 01:00:43,764 - You know, I was talking to Gene here. - He prefers "Captain." 1126 01:00:43,764 --> 01:00:47,350 Yes, I was talking to Gene here, and, you know, it's funny. 1127 01:00:47,643 --> 01:00:49,895 I don't know what you two have been up to, 1128 01:00:49,895 --> 01:00:53,356 but I have been getting calls from people I don't ever get calls from. 1129 01:00:53,356 --> 01:00:56,359 In 40 years of enforcing the law, I have learned one thing. 1130 01:00:56,986 --> 01:00:58,695 When that happens, stop. 1131 01:01:00,281 --> 01:01:03,366 - Gene, how's the family? - Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking. 1132 01:01:03,366 --> 01:01:05,452 - My son's bisexual, so... - Tremendous. 1133 01:01:08,289 --> 01:01:09,790 Gentlemen, do we understand each other? 1134 01:01:11,125 --> 01:01:13,293 - Cut the crap. - Will do. 1135 01:01:17,632 --> 01:01:19,049 Guy never comes down here. 1136 01:01:19,049 --> 01:01:21,968 Twenty years, I think I have seen that guy in this building one time. 1137 01:01:21,968 --> 01:01:25,222 - He's a heavyweight cat, that guy. - He was sitting right here. 1138 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:29,059 Yeah. I think you missed the point. Anyway, look. 1139 01:01:29,059 --> 01:01:32,562 Blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry. 1140 01:01:34,232 --> 01:01:35,732 You know what? 1141 01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,360 I am going to hang on to the wooden gun. 1142 01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,320 - To give me back my real gun? - No. 1143 01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,489 because I am going to give you this. 1144 01:01:43,199 --> 01:01:46,368 It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you run into any trouble 1145 01:01:46,994 --> 01:01:49,538 and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out. 1146 01:01:50,915 --> 01:01:55,585 We were abducted, Captain. This shit is real. Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery. 1147 01:01:55,585 --> 01:02:00,549 Next, I want you guys to hand in all the evidence you think you have to the SEC. 1148 01:02:00,549 --> 01:02:02,467 The financial district's under their jurisdiction. 1149 01:02:02,467 --> 01:02:05,011 Don't you get it? This case is talking to us. 1150 01:02:05,011 --> 01:02:08,223 I am a peacock, Captain. You got to let me fly on this one. 1151 01:02:08,223 --> 01:02:11,184 You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this. Peacocks don't fly. 1152 01:02:11,184 --> 01:02:14,729 - They fly, they fly a little bit. - Yeah, about as much as a penguin. 1153 01:02:14,729 --> 01:02:18,441 One more thing, do me a favor, don't go chasing waterfalls. 1154 01:02:19,193 --> 01:02:21,695 Was that accidental, or were you trying to quote TLC on purpose? 1155 01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:23,613 I don't even understand the reference. 1156 01:02:24,198 --> 01:02:26,283 - You don't understand what you said? - I don't know what that is. 1157 01:02:26,283 --> 01:02:27,868 Get out. Go. 1158 01:02:38,546 --> 01:02:40,797 How did they get that story? 1159 01:02:42,383 --> 01:02:45,302 I am tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing. 1160 01:02:45,302 --> 01:02:46,469 Hey, guys. 1161 01:02:46,888 --> 01:02:50,724 There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up, 1162 01:02:50,724 --> 01:02:53,685 - so if you just want to come by the old... - Damn it, Bob. 1163 01:02:53,685 --> 01:02:54,853 Let me ask you something. 1164 01:02:54,853 --> 01:02:57,355 What do you even do around here besides interrupt people? 1165 01:02:57,355 --> 01:03:00,442 Well, I serve as treasurer to the union. 1166 01:03:00,442 --> 01:03:03,361 I make a wicked pot of decaf. 1167 01:03:03,361 --> 01:03:06,740 Exactly. You're a worthless piece of shit. 1168 01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:12,287 Probably right, Terry. That's why I feel so sad all the time. 1169 01:03:13,039 --> 01:03:14,873 I am going to go for a walk. 1170 01:03:14,873 --> 01:03:16,207 - Bob. - Say something. 1171 01:03:16,207 --> 01:03:18,209 Come on. Bob. 1172 01:03:18,209 --> 01:03:21,212 I didn't mean it, all right? I am upset. 1173 01:03:39,023 --> 01:03:44,110 Actually, we don't do that here. This is an installation art piece. 1174 01:03:44,487 --> 01:03:46,571 - This coffee table? - Yes. We don't put drinks on it. 1175 01:03:50,368 --> 01:03:53,036 - Five hundred thousand? - He can read. Congratulations. 1176 01:03:53,496 --> 01:03:55,664 - What? - I am sorry, are you in the right place? 1177 01:03:55,664 --> 01:03:58,041 Or not? I am... 1178 01:03:59,251 --> 01:04:00,418 - Terry. - Does he... Okay. 1179 01:04:00,418 --> 01:04:03,755 - Well... - Sorry. Terry. What are you doing here? 1180 01:04:05,007 --> 01:04:09,386 - I want to be with you. - No, Terry, that's not going to happen. 1181 01:04:09,762 --> 01:04:12,389 You know where you belong. On top of me in the Poconos. 1182 01:04:13,224 --> 01:04:15,266 Instead, you're here selling dirty coffee tables? 1183 01:04:15,266 --> 01:04:16,977 I mean, look at this. This is nonsense. 1184 01:04:16,977 --> 01:04:19,479 Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson. 1185 01:04:19,855 --> 01:04:24,067 The chaos of the coffee table? It represents our fractured egos. 1186 01:04:24,527 --> 01:04:26,528 You think I don't know about this artsy-fartsy crap? 1187 01:04:26,904 --> 01:04:31,366 This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents our shattered sense of community 1188 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:33,451 in the face of capitalist-driven isolation. 1189 01:04:33,786 --> 01:04:36,329 Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman or Frank Stella. 1190 01:04:36,998 --> 01:04:38,289 How did you know that, Terry? 1191 01:04:38,791 --> 01:04:40,166 I took some classes at RISD 1192 01:04:40,166 --> 01:04:42,544 so I could make fun of these lame artsy douches in my neighborhood. 1193 01:04:42,544 --> 01:04:45,046 - Terry, lower your voice. - I don't have to lower my voice. 1194 01:04:45,046 --> 01:04:47,924 - Is this man bothering you? - Are you actually having sex with this creep? 1195 01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:50,093 Terry, he's gay. Okay? 1196 01:04:51,345 --> 01:04:54,014 He's even wearing a T-shirt that says, "I am gay". 1197 01:04:54,306 --> 01:04:56,141 All right? And also, he is my boss. 1198 01:04:56,475 --> 01:04:57,642 Happy for you, man. Good. 1199 01:04:57,642 --> 01:04:59,602 Can you get out of here now? I am talking to my lady. 1200 01:04:59,812 --> 01:05:03,148 Mr. Reger, everything is fine. Terry is actually leaving now. 1201 01:05:03,566 --> 01:05:05,650 Nice toot, sailor. Jesus. 1202 01:05:06,861 --> 01:05:08,820 Terry, what are you doing? 1203 01:05:09,321 --> 01:05:12,699 Look, I waited three years for you to be more than a cop, okay? 1204 01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,284 Just give me one more year. 1205 01:05:14,702 --> 01:05:17,120 Terry, you don't get another year. I am done. 1206 01:05:17,621 --> 01:05:18,663 Fine. 1207 01:05:19,165 --> 01:05:22,333 - Terry, don't touch that. Terry. - Oh, my God. 1208 01:05:22,668 --> 01:05:24,627 I don't need this shit. I don't need you. 1209 01:05:25,629 --> 01:05:27,714 And when you call me, I am not coming back. 1210 01:05:29,008 --> 01:05:32,052 - Oh, boy. Over the top. - How outre. 1211 01:05:32,428 --> 01:05:34,554 I will burn this bitch down to the ground. 1212 01:05:35,848 --> 01:05:38,183 - Fresh. Energetic. - I love his rawness. 1213 01:05:38,559 --> 01:05:42,103 Stop critiquing me, okay? I am a human being. I am not a piece of art. 1214 01:05:42,396 --> 01:05:44,230 - Yes, you are. - Bravo. 1215 01:05:44,565 --> 01:05:47,275 I am a peacock flying into a rainbow. 1216 01:05:47,943 --> 01:05:50,028 Yes. Yes. 1217 01:05:59,663 --> 01:06:02,248 These braised short ribs taste like a dog's asshole. 1218 01:06:02,248 --> 01:06:04,042 - Sweetie. - You know what, I am sitting here thinking, 1219 01:06:04,042 --> 01:06:07,295 "Who in the world would slow roast a dog's asshole 1220 01:06:07,295 --> 01:06:09,339 "and serve it to their husband?" 1221 01:06:09,339 --> 01:06:12,842 - You would. - You are being awful. What's wrong? 1222 01:06:12,842 --> 01:06:17,680 - Captain took us off the case. - I am sorry. 1223 01:06:18,557 --> 01:06:23,353 I told Terry about my dark days in college, and it brought up some feelings. 1224 01:06:23,771 --> 01:06:28,983 Well, honeydick, that was a long time ago. You're not that same person you were. 1225 01:06:28,983 --> 01:06:32,529 No, you don't get it. There is a darkness inside of me. 1226 01:06:32,529 --> 01:06:35,615 It wants to get out. It wants to walk around. 1227 01:06:35,615 --> 01:06:38,827 It wants some walking around money, and it wants to buy some shoes. 1228 01:06:38,827 --> 01:06:43,498 And it wants to walk up with the people and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit." 1229 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:45,166 - You feel me? - Yeah. 1230 01:06:45,166 --> 01:06:49,337 Gator never been about that, never been about playing no shit. 1231 01:06:52,383 --> 01:06:54,384 - Sweetie, I am sorry. - It's okay. 1232 01:06:55,010 --> 01:06:58,388 - I just... - Remember that night we met? 1233 01:06:59,181 --> 01:07:03,852 The attending physician told me, "We got a drugged-out pimp in the back." 1234 01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,981 And I went back there, and I pulled open that curtain, 1235 01:07:07,981 --> 01:07:09,649 and I saw you. 1236 01:07:10,359 --> 01:07:13,236 You were weak, scared, 1237 01:07:13,236 --> 01:07:17,448 ass up, inflamed, crying. 1238 01:07:17,448 --> 01:07:22,704 At that moment, I knew. "Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry." 1239 01:07:23,664 --> 01:07:25,963 Pimps don't cry 1240 01:07:29,181 --> 01:07:31,706 Pimps don't cry 1241 01:07:32,047 --> 01:07:35,008 No, they don't 1242 01:07:35,384 --> 01:07:38,344 They don't shed a tear 1243 01:07:39,054 --> 01:07:42,392 Pimps don't cry 1244 01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:44,392 Pimps don't cry 1245 01:07:44,602 --> 01:07:46,561 They never shed a tear 1246 01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:54,861 Come lay with me. Be safe, and let's make love. Come on. 1247 01:07:54,861 --> 01:07:57,363 Every time you say, "Be safe," it tears me apart. 1248 01:07:57,363 --> 01:08:00,074 You got to let me be who I am going to be. 1249 01:08:01,619 --> 01:08:04,120 Allen, I am pregnant. 1250 01:08:05,039 --> 01:08:06,372 Whose baby is that? 1251 01:08:06,372 --> 01:08:09,918 Who's the man who did that to you? Gator's bitches better be using jimmies. 1252 01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:14,839 I am sorry. See, that's what I am talking about. 1253 01:08:14,839 --> 01:08:16,591 Oh, my God. 1254 01:08:18,427 --> 01:08:19,844 You need to leave. 1255 01:08:19,844 --> 01:08:23,598 Get out. Get out, Allen. Get out. 1256 01:08:40,324 --> 01:08:41,449 Hey. 1257 01:08:42,493 --> 01:08:45,078 Hey. What are you doing here? 1258 01:08:47,498 --> 01:08:52,585 Come here when I have lady troubles, which means I come here about every night. 1259 01:08:52,585 --> 01:08:54,754 What are you doing here? 1260 01:08:55,923 --> 01:08:58,424 Sheila and I got into it tonight. 1261 01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:01,594 She threw me out. 1262 01:09:02,638 --> 01:09:05,640 Well, you're not a cop till your wife throws you out of the house, partner. 1263 01:09:05,640 --> 01:09:09,602 Does it bother you that the Castien robbers only took 74 grand in diamonds? 1264 01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:12,355 They're junkies. Who cares? I mean... 1265 01:09:12,355 --> 01:09:16,234 I don't know if a junkie can go down a 20-story zipline, though. 1266 01:09:16,234 --> 01:09:17,360 How you fellas doing? 1267 01:09:18,904 --> 01:09:22,073 We're about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here 1268 01:09:22,073 --> 01:09:23,408 if you want to join us. 1269 01:09:23,408 --> 01:09:25,576 You're not going anywhere near that Prius, okay? 1270 01:09:25,911 --> 01:09:28,746 Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about a bunch of hobos 1271 01:09:29,206 --> 01:09:31,124 with fingers in each other's pooper 1272 01:09:31,124 --> 01:09:34,002 in a stranger's car with talk radio playing really loud. 1273 01:09:34,002 --> 01:09:35,253 It's going to be a nice evening. 1274 01:09:35,587 --> 01:09:37,922 Well, we're not participating in that. We have no interest. 1275 01:09:37,922 --> 01:09:39,215 Let me rephrase it. 1276 01:09:39,591 --> 01:09:42,427 We got a jar of old mustard, and we got a poodle, 1277 01:09:42,636 --> 01:09:45,805 and we're just get in there and we're going to put some D's in some A's. 1278 01:09:46,140 --> 01:09:47,974 Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys? 1279 01:09:47,974 --> 01:09:50,601 - How do you know who we are? - You left a note in that car. 1280 01:09:50,601 --> 01:09:53,271 - Police, shithead. - He's a copper. We got to go. Come on. 1281 01:09:53,271 --> 01:09:55,189 Hey. Goose it, boys. They're cops. 1282 01:09:55,649 --> 01:09:57,400 Rub your dicks on the car as you're running away. 1283 01:09:57,400 --> 01:09:59,819 You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare. 1284 01:09:59,819 --> 01:10:03,614 We are going to have sex in your car. It will happen again. 1285 01:10:05,743 --> 01:10:07,410 I don't know where I am going to sleep tonight. 1286 01:10:07,410 --> 01:10:09,287 Fortunately, I know where you're going to be drinking. 1287 01:10:09,287 --> 01:10:11,664 Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on. 1288 01:10:12,249 --> 01:10:13,916 - No, I already have a beer. - No, no, no, no. 1289 01:10:14,251 --> 01:10:16,586 I am talking about doing some serious drinking. 1290 01:10:16,586 --> 01:10:18,046 Drinking with Terry Hoitz. 1291 01:11:06,929 --> 01:11:08,763 This sucks, man. Work our ass off on this case, 1292 01:11:08,763 --> 01:11:10,431 now we got to hand over all of our evidence? 1293 01:11:10,431 --> 01:11:11,766 Yeah, it's not right. 1294 01:11:11,766 --> 01:11:13,935 Oh, my God, I am hungover. 1295 01:11:16,313 --> 01:11:17,480 So, you guys are law enforcement? 1296 01:11:17,815 --> 01:11:19,690 Yeah, we're an independent government agency who, 1297 01:11:19,690 --> 01:11:21,651 along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve, 1298 01:11:21,651 --> 01:11:23,945 regulate the stock market and corporate fraud. 1299 01:11:24,279 --> 01:11:26,864 And the Federal Reserve is a prison? 1300 01:11:27,157 --> 01:11:29,867 No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank that sets interest rates 1301 01:11:29,867 --> 01:11:31,369 and loans money to other banks. 1302 01:11:31,954 --> 01:11:34,122 - Is that a wastebasket? - Yeah, right there. 1303 01:11:34,122 --> 01:11:35,623 Thank you. 1304 01:11:37,334 --> 01:11:40,670 - You all right? - Holy hell. 1305 01:11:42,297 --> 01:11:44,006 I am so sorry. 1306 01:11:44,550 --> 01:11:45,925 I got so drunk last night. 1307 01:11:45,925 --> 01:11:49,887 I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. 1308 01:11:51,014 --> 01:11:52,807 Come on in, fellas. 1309 01:11:53,851 --> 01:11:56,060 You got to be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer. 1310 01:11:56,060 --> 01:11:57,895 We're turning over our investigation to you? 1311 01:11:58,355 --> 01:12:00,565 Let me assure you there will be no conflict of interest 1312 01:12:00,565 --> 01:12:02,108 between me and David Ershon. 1313 01:12:02,108 --> 01:12:06,320 And if this were an actual investigation, I would immediately recuse myself. 1314 01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:10,658 This is all the evidence we have, and I truly hope you take this seriously. 1315 01:12:10,658 --> 01:12:12,034 Yes. Very much so. 1316 01:12:12,034 --> 01:12:13,870 From everything I have heard, I understand 1317 01:12:13,870 --> 01:12:17,206 you guys are the best at these types of investigations. 1318 01:12:17,206 --> 01:12:20,042 Outside of Enron and AIG 1319 01:12:20,042 --> 01:12:21,586 and Bernie Madoff, 1320 01:12:22,212 --> 01:12:24,922 WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers. 1321 01:12:24,922 --> 01:12:26,883 Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective. 1322 01:12:26,883 --> 01:12:28,759 - Would you like a seat, or you're fine? - No, I am good. 1323 01:12:28,759 --> 01:12:30,511 Okay. Let me just assure you fellas, 1324 01:12:30,929 --> 01:12:33,431 David Ershon is an upstanding citizen. 1325 01:12:34,224 --> 01:12:35,933 I am playing squash with him tonight at the club, 1326 01:12:35,933 --> 01:12:37,143 and we're having dinner. 1327 01:12:37,143 --> 01:12:39,520 You listen to me, you Windsor knot-wearing monkey, 1328 01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:41,689 you play squash with Ershon, right? 1329 01:12:41,689 --> 01:12:45,026 Your kids go to school with his? How would you know if he's clean or not? 1330 01:12:45,026 --> 01:12:46,777 I will take a look at your evidence, 1331 01:12:46,777 --> 01:12:48,070 and I will take a second look at the financials. 1332 01:12:48,780 --> 01:12:50,865 And when I come back and bust your ass, 1333 01:12:50,865 --> 01:12:53,451 we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve. 1334 01:12:53,451 --> 01:12:55,036 He still doesn't understand the concept. 1335 01:13:16,391 --> 01:13:17,767 What are you doing? 1336 01:13:18,477 --> 01:13:21,771 We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guy's lawyer. 1337 01:13:21,771 --> 01:13:24,106 Are you a big man, huh? 1338 01:13:24,106 --> 01:13:25,650 - I am talking to you. - What? 1339 01:13:25,650 --> 01:13:28,569 You wake up in the morning, you say, "I am putting on my big boy pants"? 1340 01:13:28,569 --> 01:13:29,904 "Look, I am wearing a belt. 1341 01:13:29,904 --> 01:13:32,156 - "I have got big boy pants on." - No. 1342 01:13:32,366 --> 01:13:34,158 You borrow a little jacket, you go? 1343 01:13:34,158 --> 01:13:36,410 You take your lunch because you got big boy pants on? 1344 01:13:36,912 --> 01:13:38,746 You got your big boy pants and your snack? 1345 01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:41,165 I could say big, loud things. 1346 01:13:41,667 --> 01:13:43,042 I could be demonstrative. 1347 01:13:43,377 --> 01:13:45,294 - Stop. - We don't, we don't do this. 1348 01:13:45,294 --> 01:13:47,505 You're scaring the shit out of me, man. Stop it. 1349 01:13:47,505 --> 01:13:50,800 Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy? 1350 01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:52,551 What the hell are you doing, man? 1351 01:13:53,011 --> 01:13:57,390 I am so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time. 1352 01:13:58,308 --> 01:13:59,976 It's exhausting. 1353 01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:03,980 I feel like I am partners with the Hulk. 1354 01:14:04,356 --> 01:14:06,816 You want to know why I am so angry all the time? 1355 01:14:06,816 --> 01:14:10,278 because the more I try and do right, the more I screw things up. 1356 01:14:11,029 --> 01:14:16,033 We have got a possible jumper at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor. 1357 01:14:16,033 --> 01:14:18,369 All units, fire department, en route. 1358 01:14:18,369 --> 01:14:20,788 - SEC. - Beaman's office. 1359 01:14:20,788 --> 01:14:22,290 We have to go. 1360 01:14:22,541 --> 01:14:24,250 - But the Captain. - We have to go, Allen. 1361 01:14:24,250 --> 01:14:29,088 All units, I need a respondent. Possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center. 1362 01:14:40,225 --> 01:14:42,435 Shit. It's Beaman. 1363 01:14:43,228 --> 01:14:46,063 - He's got to know something. - Wesley. 1364 01:14:46,273 --> 01:14:48,107 Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this. 1365 01:14:48,608 --> 01:14:50,651 I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating. 1366 01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:53,404 I am going to need a priest and a bullhorn. 1367 01:14:53,404 --> 01:14:55,865 - I got no bullhorn. - Does anyone have a bullhorn? 1368 01:14:55,865 --> 01:14:58,159 - Bullhorn, anyone? - Truck. 1369 01:14:59,244 --> 01:15:01,203 Police business. I need to use your PA system. 1370 01:15:01,203 --> 01:15:02,580 Okay, let me turn it on. 1371 01:15:04,458 --> 01:15:07,293 Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman? 1372 01:15:07,293 --> 01:15:10,588 It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's... 1373 01:15:10,588 --> 01:15:13,507 Look, there's a lot to live for in this life. 1374 01:15:13,507 --> 01:15:18,637 A lot of great things, like soda pop, big fresh can of soda pop. 1375 01:15:18,637 --> 01:15:20,097 They do not care. 1376 01:15:20,097 --> 01:15:22,475 Give me this. I know how to talk to him. 1377 01:15:22,475 --> 01:15:26,228 Listen, we all know you're a scumbag, and nobody cares about you. 1378 01:15:26,228 --> 01:15:27,646 Rotten piece of shit. 1379 01:15:27,646 --> 01:15:29,690 That's worse than what I was saying. 1380 01:15:30,150 --> 01:15:31,692 I am not going to lie to you, Don. 1381 01:15:31,692 --> 01:15:35,529 People down here are starting to murmur that you don't have the balls to do it. 1382 01:15:35,947 --> 01:15:37,948 - I don't care. - Yeah. 1383 01:15:37,948 --> 01:15:40,368 I say you can do it. 1384 01:15:41,161 --> 01:15:45,164 I mean, I don't want you to jump. I am just saying you have the capability. 1385 01:15:45,707 --> 01:15:46,832 Look, he's flying. 1386 01:15:52,506 --> 01:15:53,798 Stop that. 1387 01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:56,384 Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over. 1388 01:15:56,384 --> 01:15:59,512 Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle. Make sure you get this, all right? 1389 01:16:00,347 --> 01:16:03,182 Detectives, all your work's done here. You can go. 1390 01:16:03,182 --> 01:16:04,850 What about Ershon targeting the lottery? 1391 01:16:04,850 --> 01:16:09,105 You know why Ershon was calling down to the lottery offices all those times? 1392 01:16:09,105 --> 01:16:11,190 Because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl, 1393 01:16:11,190 --> 01:16:13,567 the one on TV with all the numbered balls. 1394 01:16:13,567 --> 01:16:15,861 Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him last week. 1395 01:16:16,363 --> 01:16:18,155 It was right there in front of you the whole time. 1396 01:16:18,155 --> 01:16:20,199 - Can't be. - You guys are getting transferred. 1397 01:16:20,199 --> 01:16:22,410 - What? - Traffic. 1398 01:16:22,410 --> 01:16:23,619 Yeah, that's right. 1399 01:16:23,619 --> 01:16:27,373 You, you're going to walk a beat downtown. You're going to walk a beat downtown. 1400 01:16:27,373 --> 01:16:29,792 - It's done. No, no. It's done. - Captain, what are you talking about? 1401 01:16:29,792 --> 01:16:31,752 - Save yourselves some gas. - Captain. 1402 01:16:32,337 --> 01:16:33,671 Is there an appeal process we can... 1403 01:16:33,671 --> 01:16:36,924 Had to do what you had to do, Captain. 1404 01:16:36,924 --> 01:16:39,218 Wow. That hurt. 1405 01:16:41,388 --> 01:16:43,514 - Excuse me. Where's my car? - They towed it. 1406 01:16:43,514 --> 01:16:46,058 Couple of homeless people were messing around in it. 1407 01:16:46,058 --> 01:16:49,854 - That's an official police car. - Could have fooled me. 1408 01:16:54,943 --> 01:16:56,235 Wow, Mauch was upset, huh? 1409 01:16:56,778 --> 01:16:57,945 Really? 1410 01:16:57,945 --> 01:17:00,406 The only thing I had to be proud of in my life was being a detective. 1411 01:17:00,406 --> 01:17:03,075 That was all I had. Now it's gone. 1412 01:17:03,785 --> 01:17:06,287 I know. I know. You still got me. 1413 01:17:06,287 --> 01:17:09,915 Don't you get it? I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did. 1414 01:17:09,915 --> 01:17:12,251 I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit. 1415 01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,670 I can't believe you still doubt me after everything we have seen. 1416 01:17:14,670 --> 01:17:19,300 It's a real case, and I am a real cop. We just got the wrong target for Ershon. 1417 01:17:19,300 --> 01:17:21,635 - You carry a rape whistle. - This is real cop work. 1418 01:17:21,635 --> 01:17:24,555 There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, okay? 1419 01:17:24,555 --> 01:17:28,058 You got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you got no partner. 1420 01:17:28,058 --> 01:17:29,768 Leave me alone. 1421 01:17:30,395 --> 01:17:31,854 A mutt case. 1422 01:17:31,854 --> 01:17:34,482 Terry, I am a cop, for your information, okay? 1423 01:17:34,482 --> 01:17:36,734 A broken partnership. 1424 01:17:36,734 --> 01:17:37,943 I am a cop. 1425 01:17:37,943 --> 01:17:41,697 And getting busted down to a shitty assignment. 1426 01:17:41,697 --> 01:17:44,909 Allen and Terry hit the trifecta. 1427 01:17:47,621 --> 01:17:50,748 But sometimes when you get your ass kicked, 1428 01:17:51,958 --> 01:17:54,627 that's when you find out what's real... 1429 01:17:56,963 --> 01:17:59,006 ... and what needs doing. 1430 01:18:04,971 --> 01:18:07,014 Whether it's directing traffic... 1431 01:18:07,014 --> 01:18:08,140 Come on. 1432 01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:12,102 ... or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud. 1433 01:18:23,532 --> 01:18:25,616 - Do you work here? - Yeah, I do. 1434 01:18:25,616 --> 01:18:28,536 The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien down there. 1435 01:18:28,536 --> 01:18:30,204 They also did damage to your office? 1436 01:18:30,204 --> 01:18:32,831 Some police officers came by and sealed it off. 1437 01:18:32,831 --> 01:18:34,250 Do you recall what they looked like? 1438 01:18:34,250 --> 01:18:37,044 One of them had an Australian accent. 1439 01:18:37,629 --> 01:18:41,382 You don't happen to do any business for the state lottery, do you? 1440 01:18:41,382 --> 01:18:44,843 No. Our main client is Lendl Global. 1441 01:18:44,843 --> 01:18:46,554 Can I ask what this is about? 1442 01:19:00,026 --> 01:19:02,236 Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch. 1443 01:19:11,663 --> 01:19:13,706 because that's what a real cop is. 1444 01:19:13,706 --> 01:19:16,292 No, I didn't say "Lock her up." I never said, "Lock her up." 1445 01:19:16,292 --> 01:19:19,169 A guy who does what needs to be done. 1446 01:19:19,169 --> 01:19:23,215 A guy who knows how to use his dark side for good. 1447 01:19:23,215 --> 01:19:24,925 And then you move to Florida. 1448 01:19:34,227 --> 01:19:35,394 One, two, three, attack. 1449 01:19:38,064 --> 01:19:39,273 Terry, it's me. 1450 01:19:39,273 --> 01:19:41,609 - Tap out. Tap out. - It's me, Allen. 1451 01:19:41,609 --> 01:19:43,277 Are you tapping out, or are you hitting me in the face? 1452 01:19:43,277 --> 01:19:45,070 I am tapping you out. 1453 01:19:45,905 --> 01:19:48,949 You crazy? What are you doing, man? 1454 01:19:48,949 --> 01:19:50,492 - They might be watching us. - Could have killed you. 1455 01:19:50,492 --> 01:19:51,702 - Turn out the lights. - What? 1456 01:19:51,702 --> 01:19:52,911 - They could be watching us. - Who? 1457 01:19:53,246 --> 01:19:55,748 I found some big information, okay? 1458 01:19:55,748 --> 01:19:58,959 - About what? - Some scary shit, Terry. This is big. 1459 01:19:59,252 --> 01:20:02,046 How'd you get in here? This place is foolproof. 1460 01:20:02,046 --> 01:20:04,590 - We can't be too careful. - What are you talking about? 1461 01:20:04,590 --> 01:20:07,885 - This place might be bugged. - There's no bugs in here. 1462 01:20:12,098 --> 01:20:15,100 First off, I missed you. 1463 01:20:15,100 --> 01:20:17,978 - What's going on? - Did you hear what I said? 1464 01:20:17,978 --> 01:20:22,066 - Fine, I kind of missed you, too. - Thank you. 1465 01:20:22,066 --> 01:20:26,445 Okay. I found out whose losses Ershon has to cover. 1466 01:20:26,445 --> 01:20:28,822 - It's Lendl Global. - What? 1467 01:20:28,822 --> 01:20:31,450 Lendl staged the Castien robbery as a distraction 1468 01:20:31,450 --> 01:20:34,536 so they could break into their own accounting firm next door. 1469 01:20:34,536 --> 01:20:37,831 They then altered all the records to cover the losses 1470 01:20:37,831 --> 01:20:40,751 that Ershon had cost them through all of his bad investments. 1471 01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:44,254 You're not supposed to be doing this. You're supposed to be walking the beat. 1472 01:20:44,254 --> 01:20:46,965 I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh? 1473 01:20:47,467 --> 01:20:49,468 This is bad, Allen. This is bad. 1474 01:20:49,468 --> 01:20:52,012 No wonder the captain wanted us to stay out of this. 1475 01:20:52,012 --> 01:20:54,223 Yeah, I bet Beaman started asking questions. 1476 01:20:54,223 --> 01:20:56,266 - That's why they killed him. - Man. 1477 01:20:56,266 --> 01:20:57,518 Here's the other thing. 1478 01:20:57,518 --> 01:20:59,645 Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down. 1479 01:20:59,645 --> 01:21:01,188 Ershon's leading it. 1480 01:21:01,188 --> 01:21:04,149 I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is they're making the deal with, 1481 01:21:04,149 --> 01:21:05,401 but we got to stop it. 1482 01:21:05,401 --> 01:21:07,152 It's time to let the peacock fly. 1483 01:21:08,196 --> 01:21:10,114 I am not going, Allen. I like what I do. 1484 01:21:10,490 --> 01:21:12,616 So do I. We're cops. 1485 01:21:12,616 --> 01:21:17,246 No. I like what I do now. I like working traffic. It's a great gig. 1486 01:21:17,246 --> 01:21:18,372 What? 1487 01:21:18,998 --> 01:21:22,751 I like working traffic. I am not going with you. 1488 01:21:22,751 --> 01:21:25,337 What is this traffic bullshit? 1489 01:21:29,175 --> 01:21:32,678 - What are you talking about? - I am talking about my life. 1490 01:21:32,678 --> 01:21:35,472 The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums. 1491 01:21:35,472 --> 01:21:39,268 It's Terry's intersection. And the traffic guys? They're good guys. 1492 01:21:39,268 --> 01:21:42,396 There's this one guy, Phillip? He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet. 1493 01:21:42,396 --> 01:21:43,647 You have got to see it, Allen. You have got to. 1494 01:21:43,647 --> 01:21:46,358 What happened to you? What happened to this being our time? 1495 01:21:46,693 --> 01:21:48,861 No way, Allen. I am out. I am done. 1496 01:21:50,071 --> 01:21:52,990 - Get in the car. - Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden. 1497 01:21:54,534 --> 01:21:58,328 - Apartment pop. Now get in the car. - You're not going to shoot me. 1498 01:21:58,328 --> 01:22:00,998 Okay, I will be honest. This is only the second time I have ever fired this. 1499 01:22:01,207 --> 01:22:02,374 So stop pointing it at me. 1500 01:22:02,374 --> 01:22:06,545 Look, tomorrow morning, all I know is I am going to Mauch, all right? 1501 01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:07,921 For what? He doesn't care. 1502 01:22:07,921 --> 01:22:11,175 He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers. 1503 01:22:11,175 --> 01:22:13,510 I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why. 1504 01:22:13,510 --> 01:22:16,388 Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares. 1505 01:22:17,056 --> 01:22:18,432 I hope I am not alone. 1506 01:22:19,225 --> 01:22:21,769 Hope you bring it. 1507 01:22:23,521 --> 01:22:25,606 We got a big day out there. Big one. 1508 01:22:25,606 --> 01:22:28,233 We got a full moon. People are going to be amped, all right? 1509 01:22:28,568 --> 01:22:31,069 Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right? 1510 01:22:32,614 --> 01:22:33,739 The new bathmats are in. 1511 01:22:36,576 --> 01:22:40,746 One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights. 1512 01:22:40,746 --> 01:22:44,333 Jeez, I am sorry. That's from my other job. Ignore that. Forget that. 1513 01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:45,584 Well, don't ignore it. 1514 01:22:45,584 --> 01:22:48,879 If you live in Crown Heights, you know, walk in pairs. 1515 01:22:48,879 --> 01:22:53,300 Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. 1516 01:22:53,300 --> 01:22:57,054 I got to go. Go get them. Let's be careful out there. 1517 01:22:59,098 --> 01:23:00,224 The oak. 1518 01:23:00,224 --> 01:23:03,852 I like to keep the oak together and the maple separately, okay? 1519 01:23:03,852 --> 01:23:05,062 And these chopping boards? 1520 01:23:05,271 --> 01:23:06,396 Hey, Captain. 1521 01:23:07,774 --> 01:23:10,317 Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing? 1522 01:23:10,317 --> 01:23:12,236 What are you doing here? Are you here for the bathmats? 1523 01:23:12,737 --> 01:23:16,365 - I need you to be straight with me. - Straight with us. 1524 01:23:16,365 --> 01:23:19,159 Hey, Terry. Look at this. 1525 01:23:19,159 --> 01:23:22,955 - I thought you were working traffic today. - Let them block the box. 1526 01:23:23,331 --> 01:23:26,792 - Besides, partners' code, right? - Thanks. 1527 01:23:28,336 --> 01:23:30,963 Hey, why have you worked your ass off trying to kill this case? 1528 01:23:32,423 --> 01:23:35,467 All right, fine. I am going to tell you guys something. 1529 01:23:35,467 --> 01:23:38,846 You really went into deep water on this one. You really went in deep. 1530 01:23:38,846 --> 01:23:40,889 Ershon's connected to all the higher ups, 1531 01:23:40,889 --> 01:23:43,851 and I got to save what little ass I have left, okay? 1532 01:23:44,477 --> 01:23:46,645 You keep hiding from shit in the world, 1533 01:23:46,645 --> 01:23:48,981 and eventually the world comes to your front door. 1534 01:23:49,482 --> 01:23:51,692 - Nice. - That's very nice. 1535 01:23:51,692 --> 01:23:53,360 I heard it in an episode of Touched By An Angel. 1536 01:23:53,945 --> 01:23:57,906 You keep this thing real quiet, and you make sure you have real evidence, 1537 01:23:57,906 --> 01:23:59,575 and maybe I will see what I can do. 1538 01:23:59,575 --> 01:24:00,868 But if you make a lot of noise 1539 01:24:00,868 --> 01:24:04,121 and you attract the media attention, and you bring the DA in on this, 1540 01:24:04,121 --> 01:24:05,789 I am out, okay? 1541 01:24:05,789 --> 01:24:07,165 Yeah, we will go in there like church mice. 1542 01:24:07,165 --> 01:24:11,628 But there's one case, one case in a career where you go all in. 1543 01:24:11,628 --> 01:24:12,838 This is it. 1544 01:24:13,464 --> 01:24:16,800 All right. Then you do us proud. 1545 01:24:17,302 --> 01:24:18,552 because I don't want no scrubs. 1546 01:24:19,304 --> 01:24:21,805 - Really? - No. 1547 01:24:21,805 --> 01:24:25,225 - You're not aware that's a TLC song? - I have no idea what you're talking about. 1548 01:24:25,518 --> 01:24:26,894 - Second time. - You said chasing waterfalls, 1549 01:24:26,894 --> 01:24:28,145 now you're saying you don't want no scrubs. 1550 01:24:28,145 --> 01:24:30,022 - I don't even understand the reference. - It's like a tic. 1551 01:24:30,022 --> 01:24:31,231 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1552 01:24:31,231 --> 01:24:33,650 Remember, this thing gets messy, we never talked. 1553 01:24:34,027 --> 01:24:35,736 - You can trust us. - Real quiet. 1554 01:24:35,736 --> 01:24:38,155 You got to creep. Creep. 1555 01:24:38,364 --> 01:24:39,698 Come on. 1556 01:24:40,658 --> 01:24:43,160 You don't say "Creep-creep" unless you're quoting TLC. 1557 01:24:43,369 --> 01:24:44,745 Hey, guys. 1558 01:24:45,705 --> 01:24:47,581 You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right? 1559 01:24:48,249 --> 01:24:50,042 Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that, but it's a drag. 1560 01:24:50,042 --> 01:24:52,044 I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero? 1561 01:24:52,378 --> 01:24:55,547 Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys. 1562 01:24:57,008 --> 01:24:58,508 You ready? 1563 01:24:58,508 --> 01:25:00,260 - Yeah. - Let's go. 1564 01:25:08,770 --> 01:25:11,146 - No, but the highlights are great. - Thank you. 1565 01:25:11,146 --> 01:25:13,315 - Sexy but serious. - Thank you. 1566 01:25:13,315 --> 01:25:14,775 Excuse me. 1567 01:25:15,777 --> 01:25:18,445 Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man. 1568 01:25:18,445 --> 01:25:23,033 You know, they're just some people I owe money to who wanted to be here. 1569 01:25:23,033 --> 01:25:24,242 Who are they? 1570 01:25:25,745 --> 01:25:30,415 Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs. 1571 01:25:30,415 --> 01:25:36,338 And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria. 1572 01:25:36,338 --> 01:25:38,632 You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens? 1573 01:25:38,632 --> 01:25:40,217 Yes. Yes, I do. 1574 01:25:40,217 --> 01:25:43,470 - You're a piece of work. - Thank you. 1575 01:25:43,470 --> 01:25:47,057 Probably best to get started. 1576 01:25:47,433 --> 01:25:50,894 This is good, baby. We're in the game, we know the score. 1577 01:25:50,894 --> 01:25:53,897 The only thing that bugs me is we still don't know who Ershon's targeting. 1578 01:25:53,897 --> 01:25:58,068 - Is it the lotto? Who is it? - Who cares? Some rich prick. 1579 01:25:58,068 --> 01:26:04,116 I have to tell you, I am tremendously excited by this deal. 1580 01:26:04,116 --> 01:26:06,660 And I can assure you that every dime of your money 1581 01:26:06,660 --> 01:26:09,788 will be invested with the utmost diligence. 1582 01:26:09,788 --> 01:26:11,832 Your rates of return are really exciting. 1583 01:26:11,832 --> 01:26:13,458 We think our members are going to be just thrilled. 1584 01:26:13,458 --> 01:26:17,421 Yeah. I mean, we have averaged, like, 18% over the last 10 years. 1585 01:26:18,464 --> 01:26:20,674 All right. Quiet as a church mouse, in and out. 1586 01:26:20,674 --> 01:26:23,010 I can feel that tingling in my balls you were talking about. 1587 01:26:23,010 --> 01:26:24,177 Beautiful. 1588 01:26:24,177 --> 01:26:25,679 All right, listen up. 1589 01:26:25,679 --> 01:26:28,682 I am Detective Gamble. This is Detective Hoitz. 1590 01:26:28,682 --> 01:26:30,934 We need your cooperation. 1591 01:26:30,934 --> 01:26:32,477 David Ershon. 1592 01:26:32,477 --> 01:26:34,896 You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement, 1593 01:26:34,896 --> 01:26:36,690 and in connection to the murder of Don Beaman. 1594 01:26:37,191 --> 01:26:38,650 This is a bad idea. 1595 01:26:39,152 --> 01:26:40,485 Hey, guys. 1596 01:26:42,113 --> 01:26:44,531 Bob? What are you doing here? 1597 01:26:44,991 --> 01:26:46,324 I am investing. 1598 01:26:46,324 --> 01:26:48,827 Do you remember we talked about that proxy vote a while back? 1599 01:26:48,827 --> 01:26:50,537 - This is what it was for. - Holy shit. 1600 01:26:50,537 --> 01:26:53,165 It's a more aggressive investment strategy for the pension. 1601 01:26:53,165 --> 01:26:57,502 Allen. We're the suckers. They're targeting the police pension fund. 1602 01:27:03,843 --> 01:27:07,471 Gentlemen, you're here illegally and without a warrant. 1603 01:27:08,347 --> 01:27:09,848 We are within our rights to take action. 1604 01:28:08,241 --> 01:28:10,158 So much for quiet as church mice. 1605 01:28:10,576 --> 01:28:11,701 Go. 1606 01:28:16,874 --> 01:28:18,208 Who the hell are those guys? 1607 01:28:18,208 --> 01:28:21,336 Gentlemen, I can get you obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages. 1608 01:28:21,336 --> 01:28:25,382 Even I admit that's not very tempting, but I am not made of tickets, God damn it. 1609 01:28:25,382 --> 01:28:27,425 - Get in the front. - How do you start this freaking thing? 1610 01:28:27,718 --> 01:28:28,718 Go on. Go. 1611 01:28:29,428 --> 01:28:30,428 - Shit. - Go. 1612 01:28:32,890 --> 01:28:33,890 Oh, my... 1613 01:28:35,309 --> 01:28:38,186 Jeanie. Get over here. You, go get the bloody car. 1614 01:29:24,775 --> 01:29:25,775 Hold the wheel. 1615 01:29:31,449 --> 01:29:33,825 - Open the back. - I got it. I got it. 1616 01:29:41,792 --> 01:29:44,711 They're going to kill me. And then they will kill you. 1617 01:29:44,711 --> 01:29:47,213 - Well, I am going to kill you first. - And then they will kill me. 1618 01:29:47,213 --> 01:29:50,383 We have two rogue police officers. They are armed and dangerous, 1619 01:29:50,383 --> 01:29:52,135 - and holding David Ershon hostage. - Stupid pricks. 1620 01:29:52,135 --> 01:29:55,722 - It's us, we're good guys. - Exactly. They're the good guys. 1621 01:29:55,722 --> 01:29:57,974 Where do we go? Where do we go? 1622 01:29:57,974 --> 01:30:00,727 I have a small apartment. No one knows about it. 1623 01:30:00,727 --> 01:30:03,480 I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes. 1624 01:30:03,480 --> 01:30:05,690 Not at the same time. That would be wrong. 1625 01:30:08,903 --> 01:30:11,988 Let's hear it from the top, every detail. 1626 01:30:11,988 --> 01:30:16,910 I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, 1627 01:30:16,910 --> 01:30:21,998 then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, 1628 01:30:21,998 --> 01:30:25,168 maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. 1629 01:30:25,168 --> 01:30:28,505 Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story. 1630 01:30:28,505 --> 01:30:29,756 Just tell us what happened. 1631 01:30:29,756 --> 01:30:32,592 I lost a bunch of money from some people and now they want it back. 1632 01:30:32,927 --> 01:30:34,260 What about Don Beaman? 1633 01:30:34,260 --> 01:30:36,846 Beaman knew that I had falsified my financials, 1634 01:30:36,846 --> 01:30:39,849 so they sent down Wesley to try and keep him quiet. 1635 01:30:39,849 --> 01:30:41,768 He forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin 1636 01:30:41,768 --> 01:30:43,937 and then forced him onto the ledge. 1637 01:30:43,937 --> 01:30:45,689 It was only a matter of time before he fell. 1638 01:30:45,689 --> 01:30:49,192 At least we stopped you from getting the pension fund. 1639 01:30:49,192 --> 01:30:52,529 Well, but, yeah, but you didn't. It's already in my account. 1640 01:30:52,529 --> 01:30:55,198 By 9:00 in the morning, it goes into the Lendl equity fund 1641 01:30:55,198 --> 01:30:58,034 and from there it's transferred to a dozen offshore accounts. 1642 01:30:58,034 --> 01:30:59,619 By 9:01, it's gone. 1643 01:30:59,619 --> 01:31:02,706 - Well, what if we stop the transfer? - But you can't. I mean, there's a... 1644 01:31:02,706 --> 01:31:05,291 What if we stop the transfer? 1645 01:31:05,291 --> 01:31:08,211 You'd have to be at Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly, 1646 01:31:08,211 --> 01:31:10,797 find the clerk, get the routing number. 1647 01:31:10,797 --> 01:31:11,881 We got to stop it. 1648 01:31:11,881 --> 01:31:13,216 There's no way. 1649 01:31:13,216 --> 01:31:16,886 Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew, they will all be after us. 1650 01:31:16,886 --> 01:31:21,099 You could let me go, and I will give you $10 million each. 1651 01:31:21,726 --> 01:31:24,728 - It's not a bribe. - Of course it's a bribe. 1652 01:31:24,728 --> 01:31:26,980 You're offering to pay us money to not do our job. 1653 01:31:29,066 --> 01:31:30,316 It's not a bribe. 1654 01:31:30,943 --> 01:31:33,319 We hang low here tonight. Nobody knows about this place. 1655 01:31:33,319 --> 01:31:35,155 We will be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it. 1656 01:31:35,948 --> 01:31:37,490 First things first, I got to go see Sheila. 1657 01:31:37,490 --> 01:31:38,950 No way, it's too dangerous. 1658 01:31:38,950 --> 01:31:41,327 Look, Terry, we don't know what's going to happen to us tomorrow, 1659 01:31:41,327 --> 01:31:44,998 but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila. 1660 01:31:45,499 --> 01:31:47,417 All right, go. Go. Be careful. 1661 01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:49,502 Thanks, I will. 1662 01:31:50,337 --> 01:31:51,588 Will you say hi to Sheila for me? 1663 01:31:51,588 --> 01:31:53,506 - Okay. - Okay. 1664 01:31:53,506 --> 01:31:56,509 Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you. 1665 01:31:56,509 --> 01:31:58,094 He wants to make sure you know 1666 01:31:58,094 --> 01:32:00,513 that he will be there for you if anything happens. 1667 01:32:00,513 --> 01:32:02,682 - Yeah. - Drop of a hat, I am there. 1668 01:32:02,933 --> 01:32:04,934 Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man. 1669 01:32:04,934 --> 01:32:07,937 If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her. 1670 01:32:07,937 --> 01:32:10,940 All of her wants, her needs, and desires are now my responsibility. 1671 01:32:10,940 --> 01:32:13,193 Why do you say it like it's a predetermined thing? 1672 01:32:13,193 --> 01:32:14,778 Just go, man. 1673 01:32:15,488 --> 01:32:16,988 Okay. Thanks. 1674 01:32:17,948 --> 01:32:19,032 Go. 1675 01:32:22,995 --> 01:32:24,162 Janeco Gallery. 1676 01:32:25,122 --> 01:32:27,207 Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up. 1677 01:32:37,885 --> 01:32:39,052 Please pick up. 1678 01:32:39,970 --> 01:32:41,137 Hello. 1679 01:32:41,137 --> 01:32:44,390 Hey, sweetie. I was praying you'd be at your mom's house. 1680 01:32:44,390 --> 01:32:47,727 You know what, I can't talk any more. I think the phone's being tapped. 1681 01:32:47,978 --> 01:32:50,480 Baby, where are you? I want to see you. 1682 01:32:50,480 --> 01:32:52,732 I am near the place where we did it three Halloweens ago. 1683 01:32:52,732 --> 01:32:53,858 Do you remember? 1684 01:32:54,819 --> 01:32:56,152 Okay, yeah, I got it. 1685 01:32:56,152 --> 01:32:59,906 I am just warning you, though. Watch out. I think they're watching the house. 1686 01:32:59,906 --> 01:33:02,575 Don't worry, sweetie. I think I have a way of talking to you. 1687 01:33:03,077 --> 01:33:07,038 I have to admit, I wasn't going to come. I mean... 1688 01:33:08,207 --> 01:33:11,668 After all those years, after the restraining order. 1689 01:33:11,668 --> 01:33:15,088 I was worried I might not see you again. 1690 01:33:15,088 --> 01:33:16,840 There's some very dangerous people after him, 1691 01:33:16,840 --> 01:33:17,924 and now they're after us. 1692 01:33:21,178 --> 01:33:22,762 It's just the old lady. 1693 01:33:28,102 --> 01:33:29,519 Hello, Allen. 1694 01:33:29,519 --> 01:33:32,188 Hello, Mama Ramos. What are you doing out here? 1695 01:33:32,188 --> 01:33:36,609 Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back. 1696 01:33:36,609 --> 01:33:38,528 - She also says... - Yes. 1697 01:33:38,528 --> 01:33:42,448 ...she wants you on top of her, holding her hair, 1698 01:33:42,448 --> 01:33:44,617 and riding her like a bucking bronco 1699 01:33:45,244 --> 01:33:48,872 while she sucks your thumb and says, "Mommy likey." 1700 01:33:49,707 --> 01:33:51,124 You, you tell your daughter... 1701 01:33:51,709 --> 01:33:54,127 He said he will always love you. 1702 01:33:54,127 --> 01:33:56,880 And he's so happy that you're having his child. 1703 01:33:56,880 --> 01:33:58,131 Allen. 1704 01:33:58,131 --> 01:34:00,049 He also says that 1705 01:34:00,049 --> 01:34:04,179 he wants you to stare into each other's eyes without blinking while you do it. 1706 01:34:04,805 --> 01:34:07,307 - I love when we do that, Mom. - And then afterward, 1707 01:34:07,307 --> 01:34:09,392 lick the sex off each other. 1708 01:34:11,228 --> 01:34:13,146 I don't want to do this. 1709 01:34:14,565 --> 01:34:17,942 - You say things that are too personal. - Okay, but just one more thing. 1710 01:34:18,277 --> 01:34:20,195 She said she loves you, 1711 01:34:20,195 --> 01:34:23,406 and wants to hold your hand and have iced tea with you. 1712 01:34:24,074 --> 01:34:26,576 Come on. That's not all she said. 1713 01:34:27,077 --> 01:34:28,244 No. 1714 01:34:29,330 --> 01:34:32,916 - She says other things, but I don't want... - Please, please, please. 1715 01:34:32,916 --> 01:34:35,251 You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow. 1716 01:34:35,753 --> 01:34:36,920 Okay. 1717 01:34:39,465 --> 01:34:44,344 She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones 1718 01:34:44,344 --> 01:34:47,639 - and have a three-day F marathon. - That's more like it. Yeah. 1719 01:34:47,932 --> 01:34:53,061 She wants to walk wrong for a week because you guys F'd so hard. 1720 01:34:53,061 --> 01:34:54,354 That's just lovely. 1721 01:34:54,772 --> 01:34:58,358 No more. He says things I can't say. 1722 01:34:58,358 --> 01:35:04,238 It involves a mannequin hand and an electric shaver taped to a golf club. 1723 01:35:12,790 --> 01:35:13,957 Now what'd she say? 1724 01:35:16,377 --> 01:35:18,127 She says she loves you. 1725 01:35:24,385 --> 01:35:26,719 I am so sorry about everything. 1726 01:35:27,596 --> 01:35:32,058 And I just had to come here tonight to tell you that I love you. 1727 01:35:32,058 --> 01:35:35,979 And the reason why I act like you're a plain wife is that 1728 01:35:37,648 --> 01:35:41,734 I am afraid that if I admit to how stunning 1729 01:35:41,734 --> 01:35:44,612 and intelligent and wonderful you are, 1730 01:35:45,489 --> 01:35:49,325 - I'd just lose you. - Shut up, Allen. I love you. 1731 01:35:49,827 --> 01:35:52,620 We have a place that's safe. All right. 1732 01:36:05,175 --> 01:36:06,426 I am going to break your hip. 1733 01:36:15,185 --> 01:36:17,478 I am about to do you grandpa-style. 1734 01:36:32,870 --> 01:36:34,537 I brought some music. 1735 01:36:39,043 --> 01:36:41,044 Not what I would have chosen, but screw it. 1736 01:36:41,044 --> 01:36:44,380 All right. Let's go, Monday morning, time to go to work. 1737 01:36:44,380 --> 01:36:45,548 Let's do it. 1738 01:36:45,548 --> 01:36:47,383 - You want my gate code? - Shut up, man. 1739 01:36:54,975 --> 01:36:56,059 That's Wesley. 1740 01:37:07,071 --> 01:37:08,196 Yes. 1741 01:37:10,574 --> 01:37:13,159 - Where'd you learn to drive like that? - Grand Theft Auto. 1742 01:37:16,080 --> 01:37:17,330 Shit, Allen, they're coming. 1743 01:37:20,209 --> 01:37:22,752 - Oh, my God. - Shit. 1744 01:37:24,046 --> 01:37:25,755 - Do something, Allen. - Hold on, hold on. 1745 01:37:47,236 --> 01:37:49,112 Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto. 1746 01:37:50,781 --> 01:37:52,115 I did that. 1747 01:37:52,115 --> 01:37:53,866 - I did that. - Oh, my God. 1748 01:37:53,866 --> 01:37:56,285 - That's what I am talking about. - We jack-knifed them. 1749 01:37:56,285 --> 01:37:58,871 Did you see that? It went backwards and then turned upside-down. 1750 01:37:58,871 --> 01:38:02,542 Gator turns vans upside-down like they're in a crazy washing machine. 1751 01:38:02,542 --> 01:38:04,669 Why are you calling yourself Gator? 1752 01:38:05,087 --> 01:38:07,880 It's a nickname I had in college. I used to run a dating service. 1753 01:38:07,880 --> 01:38:11,175 - He was a pimp. - Yeah, I was. I was a pimp. 1754 01:38:11,175 --> 01:38:13,803 Is it me or does it smell like deer vagina in here? 1755 01:38:14,805 --> 01:38:15,972 My poor car. 1756 01:38:16,306 --> 01:38:18,766 Right now the streets are a bloodbath. 1757 01:38:18,766 --> 01:38:21,978 And, statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here, 1758 01:38:21,978 --> 01:38:24,063 10 of you are going to be dead before your next birthday. 1759 01:38:24,356 --> 01:38:27,441 Got a couple of tips, help you guys stay out of jail. 1760 01:38:27,441 --> 01:38:31,779 One, try your hardest to not be black or Hispanic. 1761 01:38:31,779 --> 01:38:34,115 - It's a good tip. - Yeah. Two... 1762 01:38:34,115 --> 01:38:35,491 Gentlemen, we got a hot one. 1763 01:38:35,491 --> 01:38:39,203 Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage, high-speed car chase in progress. 1764 01:38:39,203 --> 01:38:41,122 Yes. Gun, gun. 1765 01:38:41,415 --> 01:38:43,249 Pass up the guns. Pass them up. Let's go, people. 1766 01:38:43,249 --> 01:38:44,959 There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No? 1767 01:38:44,959 --> 01:38:46,460 Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along? 1768 01:38:46,460 --> 01:38:48,004 I do. 1769 01:38:48,505 --> 01:38:49,881 All right, you, sweetie. Come on, let's go. Move. 1770 01:38:49,881 --> 01:38:51,507 - Move. Let's go. - Come on. 1771 01:39:01,226 --> 01:39:04,645 Cool, a helicopter. Must be covering the high-speed chase. 1772 01:39:09,902 --> 01:39:11,277 Jesus. 1773 01:39:16,116 --> 01:39:18,910 - Who are those guys? - They're Chechen investors. 1774 01:39:18,910 --> 01:39:22,038 We were going to do a Chechen version of Dora the Explorer. 1775 01:39:22,038 --> 01:39:23,706 Anyway, it went terribly wrong. 1776 01:39:26,877 --> 01:39:29,086 I feel like it's not fair that they have a helicopter. 1777 01:39:30,088 --> 01:39:31,172 Oh, no. 1778 01:39:32,549 --> 01:39:33,633 Damn it. 1779 01:39:37,512 --> 01:39:39,972 Watch your head. God, your hair is soft. 1780 01:39:39,972 --> 01:39:41,515 VO5 Hot Oil. 1781 01:39:44,853 --> 01:39:47,146 You're going to wreck. There's cars coming from both directions. 1782 01:39:47,146 --> 01:39:48,356 I am not going to wreck. 1783 01:39:50,317 --> 01:39:52,068 - I am going to wreck. You're right. - You want me to drive? 1784 01:40:12,089 --> 01:40:14,757 - This was a very clever idea. - Yeah. 1785 01:40:26,853 --> 01:40:28,145 They're gone. 1786 01:40:29,564 --> 01:40:30,648 Let's go. 1787 01:40:42,953 --> 01:40:46,414 They are Nigerians. Yeah, I'd forgotten about them. 1788 01:40:54,256 --> 01:40:55,506 - This is a shortcut. - Are you kidding me? 1789 01:40:55,506 --> 01:40:56,799 You cannot go down there. 1790 01:41:04,725 --> 01:41:06,225 What are you doing? 1791 01:41:12,441 --> 01:41:13,524 Hit him. 1792 01:41:21,241 --> 01:41:22,616 - Where are we? - Chelsea Pier. 1793 01:41:29,082 --> 01:41:30,166 What the hell? 1794 01:41:31,501 --> 01:41:32,585 Jesus. 1795 01:41:39,968 --> 01:41:41,802 Them having a helicopter is definitely cheating. 1796 01:41:42,554 --> 01:41:43,637 Go. 1797 01:41:48,769 --> 01:41:49,852 Come on. 1798 01:41:51,730 --> 01:41:53,314 We're cops. Hit the chopper. 1799 01:42:16,213 --> 01:42:19,090 This is Martin and Fosse, en route. Back off. This is our collar. 1800 01:42:20,926 --> 01:42:23,594 Set up a perimeter. No arrests until we get there. 1801 01:42:23,887 --> 01:42:24,970 Take the light. 1802 01:42:45,158 --> 01:42:46,700 Do not authorize that transfer. 1803 01:42:46,700 --> 01:42:48,369 This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him. 1804 01:42:48,369 --> 01:42:50,871 He will tell you not to authorize it, okay? Tell him. 1805 01:42:50,871 --> 01:42:53,582 - Tell him. - Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer. 1806 01:42:53,582 --> 01:42:54,750 Approve it. 1807 01:42:56,211 --> 01:42:57,294 Now. 1808 01:42:57,294 --> 01:42:58,963 Do not touch anything. 1809 01:42:59,381 --> 01:43:01,632 I swear to God I will blow your head all over this desk. 1810 01:43:01,632 --> 01:43:04,135 Not a person in this room believes you will shoot this clerk. 1811 01:43:04,135 --> 01:43:05,302 Yeah? 1812 01:43:06,680 --> 01:43:10,182 Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon. 1813 01:43:10,182 --> 01:43:13,686 I have two competing bids from jilted investors. 1814 01:43:14,396 --> 01:43:16,605 They're at 30 million, and holding. 1815 01:43:17,315 --> 01:43:19,275 - Wait. Can't you let me... - Take him away. 1816 01:43:19,860 --> 01:43:21,402 But computers. 1817 01:43:22,487 --> 01:43:26,949 What if, one day, they were in charge? 1818 01:43:28,535 --> 01:43:32,621 Now if you don't shut up, I will cut your ear off with a butter knife. 1819 01:43:32,621 --> 01:43:34,790 That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp. 1820 01:43:34,790 --> 01:43:36,125 Now. 1821 01:43:43,175 --> 01:43:44,341 You just stood there. 1822 01:43:44,341 --> 01:43:47,219 I didn't know that "now" meant that. How am I supposed to know that? 1823 01:43:47,219 --> 01:43:49,180 - I knew what that meant. - Shut up. 1824 01:43:49,180 --> 01:43:52,308 You kill us and you kill Ershon. You're out 30 million dollars. 1825 01:43:52,308 --> 01:43:54,477 - Who's got the golden goose now, huh? - Yeah. 1826 01:43:58,523 --> 01:44:00,107 Shit. 1827 01:44:00,817 --> 01:44:02,985 He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate. 1828 01:44:02,985 --> 01:44:04,945 He immediately called your bluff. 1829 01:44:04,945 --> 01:44:06,864 Get up. And kill the police. 1830 01:44:06,864 --> 01:44:08,407 I just want to make sure I get it right. 1831 01:44:08,407 --> 01:44:11,911 Did you want this transfer approved or not approved? 1832 01:44:12,370 --> 01:44:14,747 You, mate, I am going to kill just for fun. 1833 01:44:16,291 --> 01:44:19,084 Police, don't move. Drop your weapons. 1834 01:44:19,084 --> 01:44:22,087 Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy. 1835 01:44:22,087 --> 01:44:25,132 I hope you like the taste of prison food and penis. 1836 01:44:25,132 --> 01:44:28,010 - Police. Down on the ground. - Let me see your hands. 1837 01:44:35,852 --> 01:44:38,145 - Hey, hey, you okay? - Hey. 1838 01:44:39,022 --> 01:44:41,398 Hey, Gene. Captain. I am sorry. 1839 01:44:41,691 --> 01:44:43,400 - I am sorry. - That's okay. Don't worry about it. 1840 01:44:43,400 --> 01:44:44,985 You can call me Gene when we're not in the office. 1841 01:44:45,362 --> 01:44:47,613 Okay. Thanks for coming by. 1842 01:44:47,613 --> 01:44:49,782 Attaboy. 1843 01:44:49,782 --> 01:44:51,909 Come on, stay with me. Stay with me. 1844 01:44:52,160 --> 01:44:55,037 We're losing him. We're losing him. He's dying. 1845 01:44:55,497 --> 01:44:58,832 No. No, no, no, no. I am just resting. I am just resting. 1846 01:44:58,832 --> 01:45:01,085 - I am sorry. Did I hurt you? - I was just resting. 1847 01:45:01,085 --> 01:45:02,711 - Are you all right? - Just resting. 1848 01:45:02,711 --> 01:45:04,213 Hey, let me tell you something. 1849 01:45:04,213 --> 01:45:07,132 As far as paperwork goes, we will take care of it. 1850 01:45:07,467 --> 01:45:09,051 - You know why? - Why? 1851 01:45:09,051 --> 01:45:10,636 Ain't too proud to beg. 1852 01:45:11,263 --> 01:45:12,471 Come on. 1853 01:45:12,471 --> 01:45:14,390 - What? - It's not funny any more. 1854 01:45:14,390 --> 01:45:17,017 - I don't know what you're talking about. - TLC references. 1855 01:45:17,017 --> 01:45:19,103 Still nothing. I swear to you. 1856 01:45:19,437 --> 01:45:24,775 I am going to go over and check on Terry. I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go. 1857 01:45:24,775 --> 01:45:27,653 It was the king of the mutt cases, 1858 01:45:27,653 --> 01:45:30,864 but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars. 1859 01:45:33,743 --> 01:45:36,870 Within 24 hours of learning about Ershon's scheme 1860 01:45:36,870 --> 01:45:38,998 and Lendl's massive losses, 1861 01:45:38,998 --> 01:45:41,792 the government issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl. 1862 01:45:41,792 --> 01:45:46,422 Lendl is in everything, and we're going to go everywhere... 1863 01:45:46,422 --> 01:45:48,299 They were too big to fail. 1864 01:45:48,299 --> 01:45:53,596 Ershon now resides in Palomino Federal Correctional Facility in Florida. 1865 01:45:53,596 --> 01:45:56,765 He still invests. Currency's just different. 1866 01:45:57,809 --> 01:46:00,227 Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder 1867 01:46:00,227 --> 01:46:04,106 by security cam footage which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked. 1868 01:46:04,106 --> 01:46:06,025 It only showed the back of their heads. 1869 01:46:06,025 --> 01:46:10,237 But Allen's Faceback app was able to get a match to their faces. 1870 01:46:10,697 --> 01:46:12,573 Terry married Francine. 1871 01:46:12,573 --> 01:46:15,618 He played harp at the reception and it was beautiful. 1872 01:46:15,618 --> 01:46:17,244 He had learned how to play it in the eighth grade 1873 01:46:17,244 --> 01:46:20,664 to make fun of the fairy that lived up the street. 1874 01:46:21,082 --> 01:46:24,335 Terry asked Sheila to be his best man, but she declined. 1875 01:46:24,627 --> 01:46:28,839 Let's be honest, we all want to be superstars and hotshots. 1876 01:46:28,839 --> 01:46:30,132 But guess what? 1877 01:46:30,132 --> 01:46:33,719 The people that do the real work, the ones that make the difference, 1878 01:46:33,970 --> 01:46:36,972 you don't see them on TV or on the front page. 1879 01:46:37,640 --> 01:46:41,101 I am talking about the day-in, day-outers, the grinders. 1880 01:46:41,101 --> 01:46:44,355 Come on, man, you know who I am talking about: The other guys. 1881 01:46:44,355 --> 01:46:45,606 - See? That's a no-go. - Hey, hey. 1882 01:46:46,358 --> 01:46:48,359 You think you broke this Ershon case open? 1883 01:46:48,777 --> 01:46:49,985 You did nothing. 1884 01:46:50,403 --> 01:46:51,987 Corporate lobbyists are spending millions 1885 01:46:51,987 --> 01:46:54,323 to make sure guys like Ershon keep doing what they do. 1886 01:46:55,200 --> 01:46:56,200 Derek Jeter? 1887 01:46:57,619 --> 01:47:00,704 Yeah, it's me. You were set up that night you shot me, Terry. 1888 01:47:00,997 --> 01:47:03,791 - I told you. - They knew by putting someone like you 1889 01:47:03,791 --> 01:47:06,835 with a quick trigger finger next to that door where I do my pre-game walk, 1890 01:47:06,835 --> 01:47:09,380 it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us. 1891 01:47:09,923 --> 01:47:12,007 Now, I have been doing my own investigation on the banking industry, 1892 01:47:12,007 --> 01:47:14,218 and I was close. I was real close. 1893 01:47:14,636 --> 01:47:15,803 So I forgive you, Terry. 1894 01:47:16,346 --> 01:47:18,472 I appreciate that, man. I am sorry about what happened. 1895 01:47:19,224 --> 01:47:20,224 I am glad you're doing better. 1896 01:47:20,683 --> 01:47:23,018 The whole damn system is clogged up with dirty money. 1897 01:47:23,603 --> 01:47:26,855 And the news doesn't say a word about it. because who owns them? 1898 01:47:26,855 --> 01:47:29,441 The same corporations that own the government. 1899 01:47:30,026 --> 01:47:31,735 Courts and the law is all we have left. 1900 01:47:33,071 --> 01:47:34,530 So here's you guys' next case. 1901 01:47:35,657 --> 01:47:38,534 Guy by the name of Carl Bachand, CEO of Killister Bank. 1902 01:47:39,202 --> 01:47:43,038 He took three billion in TARP funds. He's crooked. He's real crooked. 1903 01:47:43,540 --> 01:47:48,168 Take him down, but be careful. He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24/7. 1904 01:47:49,212 --> 01:47:50,379 Thanks, Derek. 1905 01:47:51,673 --> 01:47:53,799 Hey, Derek. Wait. What if we need to get in touch with you, 1906 01:47:53,799 --> 01:47:56,218 get some more information or some tickets or something? 1907 01:47:56,970 --> 01:47:58,137 What just happened? 1908 01:48:01,015 --> 01:48:04,101 Goldman Sachs. This case is going to be nasty. 1909 01:48:06,771 --> 01:48:08,480 Hi. Cute glasses. 1910 01:48:09,482 --> 01:48:11,442 - What was that? - What? 1911 01:48:11,442 --> 01:48:15,154 What? Dude, what is it with you and hot ladies? What's your secret? 1912 01:48:15,154 --> 01:48:17,906 Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1913 01:48:17,906 --> 01:48:20,033 Tell me who you lost your virginity to. 1914 01:48:20,033 --> 01:48:23,162 She actually became a TV actress. Heather Locklear. 1915 01:48:23,162 --> 01:48:24,913 Heather Locklear, what? 1916 01:48:24,913 --> 01:48:26,623 - You have heard of her? - Come on. 1917 01:48:26,623 --> 01:48:30,836 - She was much chubbier back then. - I don't get it. I really, I don't get it. 1918 01:53:31,429 --> 01:53:33,096 That was you. You don't have a sense of humor. 1919 01:53:33,096 --> 01:53:34,681 I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor. 1920 01:53:35,183 --> 01:53:36,725 If you say something funny, I will laugh. 1921 01:53:36,725 --> 01:53:39,519 - All right, I am going to tell you a great joke. - Please. I love jokes. 1922 01:53:39,519 --> 01:53:42,230 All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday. 1923 01:53:43,608 --> 01:53:46,735 - It's time to get laid. - Already feels inappropriate. 1924 01:53:47,069 --> 01:53:48,820 So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse, he goes, "Miss, 1925 01:53:49,197 --> 01:53:52,365 "look, I know usually you want money, but I don't have any money and it's my birthday. 1926 01:53:52,700 --> 01:53:54,451 "Do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?" 1927 01:53:54,994 --> 01:53:57,204 - Was he a farmer? - No. 1928 01:53:57,413 --> 01:54:01,708 That's probably a Health Code violation, bringing a duck into a place of prostitution. 1929 01:54:02,126 --> 01:54:03,710 They weren't going to have sex with the duck. 1930 01:54:03,961 --> 01:54:05,712 No, I just mean Health Code violation 1931 01:54:05,712 --> 01:54:09,424 to have the duck brought into a facility like that. 1932 01:54:10,927 --> 01:54:13,094 So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I will do it." 1933 01:54:13,596 --> 01:54:16,056 So he goes in there, gives it to her. 1934 01:54:16,599 --> 01:54:19,768 - He gives her what? - The high, hard one. She loves it. 1935 01:54:20,061 --> 01:54:23,063 She goes, "You know what? If you do that again, I will give you your duck back." 1936 01:54:23,397 --> 01:54:25,315 - It's like getting laid twice for free. - So... I am sorry. 1937 01:54:25,315 --> 01:54:26,525 I am so sorry. 1938 01:54:26,818 --> 01:54:30,779 - The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. - Yes. Yes. 1939 01:54:30,779 --> 01:54:32,072 - Very good. - He used the duck as payment, 1940 01:54:32,072 --> 01:54:33,782 and now he's being paid back the duck. 1941 01:54:34,200 --> 01:54:37,285 He goes, "Oh, my God, this is the greatest birthday ever." He does it again. 1942 01:54:37,620 --> 01:54:41,164 - Now he's walking home, right? Walking... - So she was satisfied with duck. 1943 01:54:41,457 --> 01:54:43,458 - With a duck as currency... - Yes. 1944 01:54:43,458 --> 01:54:46,002 ...to her. Great. Good. 1945 01:54:46,337 --> 01:54:50,090 So he's walking home, now he can't wait to get home to tell his father. Right? 1946 01:54:50,466 --> 01:54:52,592 He's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, voom, 1947 01:54:52,592 --> 01:54:54,094 truck comes by and runs over his duck. 1948 01:54:54,094 --> 01:54:55,554 - Kills the duck? - Killed the duck. 1949 01:54:55,554 --> 01:54:57,806 - So the duck is now dead. - The duck is dead. 1950 01:54:58,307 --> 01:55:01,601 The kid starts crying, truck driver stops, he's all upset, he didn't mean... 1951 01:55:01,601 --> 01:55:04,896 Of course he's crying. He's a 13-year-old boy who's just had sex, twice, 1952 01:55:04,896 --> 01:55:08,525 - and he watched his beloved duck die. - Will you shut up and let me tell the story? 1953 01:55:08,525 --> 01:55:10,610 So far, I don't know how this is ever going to be funny. 1954 01:55:10,903 --> 01:55:13,363 The guy feels so bad about killing the duck, he gives him two dollars. 1955 01:55:13,739 --> 01:55:15,073 And the kid's happy with the two bucks? 1956 01:55:15,575 --> 01:55:19,035 He's ecstatic. He got laid twice, and now he's got two dollars on top of it. 1957 01:55:19,035 --> 01:55:21,580 Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars. 1958 01:55:22,748 --> 01:55:24,291 This was a while back. You what I am... 1959 01:55:24,667 --> 01:55:27,168 So he goes home, his dad goes, "What happened? What happened? 1960 01:55:27,168 --> 01:55:30,714 "Tell me. Tell me." He goes, "Dad, I got a fuck for the duck, 1961 01:55:30,714 --> 01:55:32,382 "I got a duck for the fuck, 1962 01:55:32,382 --> 01:55:34,217 "and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck." 1963 01:55:37,305 --> 01:55:38,513 So it's like a limerick. 1964 01:55:39,724 --> 01:55:40,974 You didn't think that was funny? 1965 01:55:41,434 --> 01:55:43,310 I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure, 1966 01:55:44,020 --> 01:55:45,770 the way all the words were put together, 1967 01:55:45,770 --> 01:55:47,397 but in terms of content? 1968 01:55:49,025 --> 01:55:50,150 No. 1969 01:55:53,362 --> 01:55:56,990 Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. Let's get out of here. 1970 01:56:02,204 --> 01:56:06,374 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 1971 01:56:06,876 --> 01:56:07,876 And cut.