1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:15,000 {\an8}本字幕由 {\c&H26F4FF&}ShinY {\c&HFFAE1A&}深影字幕組{\c&HFFFFFF&} 原創翻譯製作 2 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:15,000 {\an8}深影字幕組論壇地址 {\c&H26F4FF&}http://shinybbs.com 3 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:25,500 {\an8}{\c&H26F4FF&}翻譯： {\c&HFFFFFF&}散步的孩子 符號看象限 jimbert HTC YU 翻炒番茄 4 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:35,500 {\an8}{\c&H26F4FF&}校對： {\c&HFFFFFF&}被Poop打敗了 {\c&H26F4FF&}後期： {\c&HFFFFFF&}榆木腦袋 5 00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,191 好的 你開始錄了嗎? Good. Are you on? 6 00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:03,000 {\an8}電影四十三 7 00:00:59,192 --> 00:00:59,811 是的 開始了 Yeah, we're ready. 8 00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:03,188 我是卡爾文·卡特勒 My name is Calvin Cutler. 9 00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:06,066 諸位將見證史上最惡搞 What you're about to witness is the most badass, 10 00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,236 最奇葩的一幕 fucked-up thing you'll ever see. 11 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,446 我們稱之為"正中靶心" We call this the "Bull's Eye." 12 00:01:11,573 --> 00:01:14,325 噢 對了 千萬別自己在家嘗試 Oh, yeah. Don't try this at home. 13 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:18,371 你準備好了嗎? 好的 預備 You're good? You ready, buddy? All right. Right, ready? 14 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:22,500 一... 二... 三! One... two... three! 15 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,294 告訴我成功了 Tell me we got it. Just... 16 00:01:28,381 --> 00:01:31,036 成功了嗎? 不 不可能 我們成功了! Did we? No! No way, we got it! 17 00:01:31,037 --> 00:01:32,301 怎麼可能 夥計! No fucking way, dude! 18 00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:34,219 - 我們成功了! 成功了! - 天啊! - We got it! We got it! We got... - Oh, shit! 19 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,556 看哪! 看啊! 夥計 正中靶心 兄弟! Look at that! Look at that! Dude. Bull's eye, bro! 20 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,393 太棒了! Awesome! 21 00:01:41,394 --> 00:01:44,105 我們要把它傳到網上去! 快去! We're putting it on YouTube! Let's go! Yeah! 22 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,398 夥計 有一個人瀏覽了! Dude, we got a view! 23 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,485 夥計 那是我們自己上傳時留下的 Yeah, buddy, that was us when we uploaded it. 24 00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:53,281 那就再上傳一遍 能有漲到兩次瀏覽 Well, then upload it again so we can have two views. 25 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:55,283 我... 我覺得這樣做沒用 I... I don't think that's how it works. 26 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:57,660 - 點"刷新" 夥計 - 好的 - Hit "refresh," dude. - Oh, yeah. 27 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,373 - 不會吧 - 不可能吧 - No way. - That can't be right. 28 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,666 - 再點一下 - 我點刷新了 - Do me a favor. - I just refreshed it. 29 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,085 看看是不是有漲 Let's see if it pulls up. 30 00:02:06,336 --> 00:02:10,673 天哪 兩萬五千次瀏覽 夥計! No way. Twenty-five thousand views, man! 31 00:02:12,050 --> 00:02:13,301 五十萬! Five hundred thousand! 32 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,387 - 一百萬? 帥! - 點擊率爆棚了! - One million? Yes! - You're too money! 33 00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,036 我就說我們會出名的 I told you we're gonna be famous. 34 00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,306 我們出名了... We're gonna be famous and... 35 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:21,309 愚人節快樂 蠢貨們! April fools, suckers! 36 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:26,229 我擅自仿製了視頻網 虛報視頻瀏覽量 I took the liberty of cloning YouTube and hyper-inflating your views. 37 00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,690 你... 你這小混蛋! ...You... You little shit! 38 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,692 你剛剛想通過電腦屏幕打我? Did you just try to hit me through your computer screen? 39 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:31,777 是的 沒錯 Yeah, I did! 40 00:02:31,778 --> 00:02:34,404 你為什麼不過來直接讓我揍 娘炮! Why don't you come in here so I can hit you like a real man, pussy! 41 00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:37,492 我還有科學項目要做 你們慢慢欣賞點擊率吧 Working on my science project. Enjoy your page views. 42 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,410 天哪 他真是個熊孩子! God, he's such a little spaz! 43 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:42,079 - 我們要報仇 - 是的 - We need revenge. - We do. 44 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,248 - 我們得用惡作劇整他 - 沒錯 - We need to April fools prank him. - Yeah! 45 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,334 - 痛擊他的要害 - 好好調教他 - Hit him where it hurts. - Square in his balls. 46 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:49,127 不! 我們得更狠一點 No! We gotta do something better. 47 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:52,340 我們去偷他的電腦 把它裝滿病毒 We steal his computer and load it full of viruses. 48 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:54,015 等等 去哪找病毒? Wait, where do we get viruses? 49 00:02:54,016 --> 00:02:55,342 二貨! 上黃網啊 Uh, duh! Porn sites. 50 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,094 你也不想想我電腦為什麼這麼慢? Why do you think my computer's so slow? 51 00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:58,346 還不都是因為病毒太多 It's full of 'em. 52 00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:01,348 好吧 電腦在他的房間 我們怎麼搞到手? Oh, okay, but how-how do we get his laptop if it's in his room? 53 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,642 我們不能直接闖進去把電腦偷出來 We can't just-just kick in the door and steal it. 54 00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:06,436 你該怎麼引蛇出洞? How do you lure a dragon out of a lion's den? 55 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:07,438 我不知道 I don't know. 56 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,649 - 給他個挑戰 - 挑戰? - You present him with a challenge. - Challenge? 57 00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:12,527 挑戰 看我眼色行事 A challenge. Jus... Follow my lead. 58 00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:15,587 巴克斯特! 巴克斯特 夥計! Baxter! Baxter, my man! 59 00:03:15,588 --> 00:03:16,447 什麼事? What? 60 00:03:17,115 --> 00:03:20,576 我和J.J.有個電腦方面的問題 Uh, me and J.J., we have this computer problem. 61 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,581 網上有一部電影我們找不到 There's this movie on the Internet and we can't find it. 62 00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:27,165 你能來幫我們嗎? Can you help us? 63 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,460 你想為了剛才那事整我 是嗎? You're trying to get back at me for that prank, right? 64 00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:32,054 - 不! 這事過去了! - 過去了 - No! Truce! - Truce. 65 00:03:32,055 --> 00:03:33,588 說真的 我們... Seriously, we just, uh... 66 00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:38,570 我們想在聯邦調查局封殺之前找到它 we need to find it, uh, before the FBI takes it down. 67 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,470 你說聯邦調查局? You said the FBI? 68 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,222 該死的聯邦調查局 中情局 Fucking FBI, the CIA... 69 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,558 犯罪現場調查科 海軍罪案調查處... The CSI, NCIS... 70 00:03:44,559 --> 00:03:46,601 我的意思是 這部電影是非法的 I mean, this video is so illegal, 71 00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:49,313 全世界每個國家都把它列為禁片 it has been banned by every country in the world. 72 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:50,480 阿姆斯特丹也不例外 Including Amsterdam. 73 00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:52,607 就那個警察被人猥褻欺辱後 Where you could slap a cop in the face with your penis, 74 00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:54,067 都要說"謝謝"的地方 and they'd say, "danka." 75 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,695 阿姆斯特丹不是個國家! Amsterdam is not a country! 76 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,556 阿姆斯特丹不是個國家? Amsterdam's not a country? 77 00:03:57,557 --> 00:03:58,405 什麼時候的事? Since when? 78 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,490 這電影在那裏總歸是個禁片 夥計 The shit's still banned there, dude. 79 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:03,692 是的 你想想 它...它就像... Yeah. Think about it. They... it's... it's like it's the... the... the fucking... 80 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,413 世界上最危險的電影 It's the most dangerous film in the world. 81 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,707 - 是的 - 這電影叫什麼? - It is. - What's it called? 82 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:13,420 其實 你知道嗎 巴克斯特? 你是對的 Actually, you know what, Baxter? You're right. 83 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,214 這確實是愚人節惡作劇 It was an April Fool's prank. 84 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,591 很抱歉耍了你 I'm sorry we brought you into this. 85 00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,593 你還是... You know, you should probably just... 86 00:04:19,594 --> 00:04:22,721 該幹嘛幹嘛去 別再想這事 求你了 go on with your life and never think about this again. Please. 87 00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:23,765 等等 Wait. 88 00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:26,324 這電影為什麼這麼危險? What's so bad about it? 89 00:04:26,325 --> 00:04:27,434 你不會想知道的 You don't wanna know. 90 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,770 為什麼這麼危險? What's so bad about it? 91 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:33,523 嘿 兄弟! 這電影為什麼這麼危險? Hey, slim! What's so bad about it? 92 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,359 - 能害死你 - 怎麼害死我? - It can kill you. - How? 93 00:04:35,777 --> 00:04:38,445 能嚇得你屎尿橫流 It can make you shit out your intestines. 94 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,363 還能讓你七竅流血 It can make you bleed out of your eyes. 95 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:42,199 有個人看了之後 You know, one guy saw it, 96 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,327 就跑進一座教堂猥褻那裏的修女 and he ran into a church, and he just started humping the nuns. 97 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,329 幾年前 這可是樁大事 That was a huge story a few years back. 98 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,206 這電影能讓人恨不得自殘 It can make you pull off your own dick. 99 00:04:49,207 --> 00:04:50,791 好吧 如果它會讓人自殘 Okay, why would you want to watch it... 100 00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,334 你們為什麼還要看? if it can make you pull off your own dick? 101 00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,461 那是因為... Because... 102 00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:58,132 如果你從頭到尾看完整部電影 If you can watch it all the way through from the beginning to end, 103 00:04:58,508 --> 00:05:02,261 你就會得到意想不到的獎賞 you're rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. 104 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:07,475 金錢 性 女人 With money. And sex. And women. 105 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,395 就像午夜兇鈴那個電影 但會有個好的結局 It's like that movie The Ring, but with a good ending. 106 00:05:11,521 --> 00:05:14,398 - 是 還有美胸 - 各種波濤胸涌 - Yeah. And boobs. - Lots of boobs. 107 00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:17,109 那這電影叫什麼? So what's this movie called? 108 00:05:19,237 --> 00:05:20,404 電影 Movie. 109 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,533 - 四十三 - 電影四十三 - Forty-three. - Movie forty-three. 110 00:05:27,245 --> 00:05:28,412 祖歌上搜不到 It's not on Zwoogle. 111 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,791 是啊 祖歌當然搜不到 它被禁了! Yeah, of course it's not on Zwoogle. It's banned! 112 00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:35,335 好吧 那我猜我們得深入挖掘了 Okay. Then I guess we'll need to dig deeper. 113 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,547 訪問一些互聯網上的陰暗角落 Visit some dark corners of the Internet. 114 00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,549 恩 是的 陰暗角落 夥計 Mm, yeah, the dark corners, dude. 115 00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:42,385 是的 深入挖掘 我們得找到它 Yeah, get in there. We gotta find this thing. 116 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,512 我找到一個有很多禁片的隱藏服務器 I found a cloaked server that houses banned videos. 117 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,515 先試試列表的第四十三個電影 怎麼樣? Start out with the forty-third one on the list. Sound good? 118 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:51,142 好的 你們繼續找 Yes! Yeah, you guys keep working on this. 119 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:54,688 我去望風 看看有沒有聯邦調查局 I'm gonna go guard the door for the uh, FBI, 120 00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:56,691 中情局 老媽什麼的 the CIA, and Mom. 121 00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,318 看這個 我們看看 Look at this. Check it out. 122 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,447 噢! 你真美 Hey. Ooh! You look good. 123 00:06:03,573 --> 00:06:05,740 但願你快準備好了 他隨時都有可能到 Hope you're almost ready. He's gonna be here any second. 124 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,803 我不知道我為什麼要這麼做 帕姆 I don't know why I'm doing this, Pam. 125 00:06:07,804 --> 00:06:08,577 我不相信朱莉 I don't trust Julie. 126 00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:11,147 如果這傢伙是個廢物怎麼辦? I mean, what if this guy's a loser? 127 00:06:11,148 --> 00:06:12,205 他不是廢物 He's not a loser. 128 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,124 他二十八歲的時候 He made senior partner at his law firm by the time he was, 129 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,209 就成了他律師事務所的高級合夥人 like, twenty-eight. 130 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:17,587 所以他只在乎他的工作和錢 So all he cares about is his career and money. 131 00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:21,590 朱莉可沒這麼說 他是特奧會的志願者 Mm, not according to Julie. He's a volunteer with the Special Olympics, 132 00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:23,551 他是紐約愛樂樂團的董事會成員 he's on the board of the New York Philharmonic... 133 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,720 他和德瑞克·基特合夥開了一家新的餐廳 He's opening a new restaurant with Derek Jeter! 134 00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:28,763 但他可能長著一副令人尷尬的呆板臉 But he's probably got one of those awkward character faces... 135 00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:31,350 就是你有幾分偏愛的那種 是嗎? that sort of really has to grow on you, right? 136 00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:36,355 "呆板臉"先生上歌譚雜誌的封面了 Mr. "Character Face" is on the cover of Gotham Magazine. 137 00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:39,567 - 那就是他? - 是的 - That's him? - That's him. 138 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:43,571 就是他 Yeah. 139 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,491 他來了 去吧 And he's here. Go. 140 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,076 - 我看上去還好? - 美極了 - Do I look okay? - Gorgeous. 141 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,328 - 真的? - 玩的開心! - You sure? - Have fun! 142 00:06:51,329 --> 00:06:52,455 再見! Bye! 143 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,752 - 你開玩笑吧 - 其中幾個 - I mean, you gotta be kidding. - Several of them. 144 00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:02,088 要我說 沒試過就沒資格批評電視購物 I'm telling you, don't knock shopping on TV until you've tried it. 145 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,757 貝思 我想你是我見過的第一個 Beth, I think-I think you're the first person I've ever met... 146 00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:05,175 真會去電視購物的人 who actually buys stuff off television. 147 00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,376 - 不可能! 別騙人了! - 不 是真的 - No! Come on! - No, it's true. 148 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,511 噢 那你覺得我從哪買的這條圍巾? Oh, well where do you think I got this scarf? 149 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,389 知道嗎? 我敢打賭肯定比你的那條柔軟 And you know what? I bet it's softer than yours. 150 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,266 好吧 這可是我的底線 Okay. See, that's where I draw the line. 151 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,101 決不允許貶低我的圍巾(不許摘下圍巾) Do not start putting down the scarf. 152 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,604 來 你摸摸看 百分百帕什米納山羊絨 Here. Feel this. One-hundred percent pashmina. 153 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,773 至少街上那傢伙是這麼告訴我的 Well, at least that's what the guy on the street told me. 154 00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:22,692 那我看看 哇哦 確實挺軟的 可我... Come on, then. Wow, that is soft. Well, you know, I... 155 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:25,488 嘿 H先生 餐桌準備好了 先生 Hey, Mr. H. Table's ready, sir. 156 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,656 很好 Great. 157 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,532 - 我來保管這些吧 - 謝謝 - I'll take those. - Thank you. 158 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,283 - 請 - 我們的桌子準備好了 - Please. - Our table's ready. 159 00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,285 謝謝 Thank you. 160 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,495 你先請 After you. 161 00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:40,419 凱莉告訴我你給孩子設計衣服 是嗎? So, um, Carrie tells me you design clothes for kids. No? 162 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,672 是的 童裝 我設計... Yes. Clothes for kids. I design... 163 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:46,383 衣服... 給孩子穿 童裝 clothes... for kids. Kids clothes. 164 00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:47,676 很好 很好 Awesome. Awesome. 165 00:07:47,677 --> 00:07:50,010 今夏如果我看到有孩子穿著古怪 So, if I see some kids looking weird this summer, 166 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,722 也許就是你的錯 是不? it may be your fault, huh? 167 00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,142 我開玩笑的 開玩笑 I'm just joking. I'm just joking. 168 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:58,103 你的俄式標準伏特加 先生 Your Russian Standard Vodka, sir. 169 00:07:58,104 --> 00:07:59,689 你這麼容易就能猜到我要什麼嗎 艾比? Am I that predictable, Abby? 170 00:08:01,691 --> 00:08:03,525 你喝這個嗎? 還是喝紅酒什麼的? Eh... Yeah, you good with that? Or would you prefer a glass of wine or...? 171 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:07,530 不 不用 我... 是需要來一杯 No. No, I... I could, use it. 172 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,698 謝謝 Thank you. 173 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,328 那麼 敬這個美妙的夜晚 乾杯 So, here's to a, Here's to a wonderful evening. Cheers. 174 00:08:16,122 --> 00:08:17,456 乾杯 Cheers. 175 00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:23,546 俄羅斯人的酒真不錯 Those Russians know something. 176 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,593 這裏... 挺不錯的 This is... a nice place. 177 00:08:29,719 --> 00:08:31,220 噢 這裏很棒 這裏... Oh, it's great. This pl... 178 00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:32,722 噢 你應該看看這裏的天花板 Oh, you gotta check out the ceiling. 179 00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,723 這些橫樑是取自於... Those beams were taken out... 180 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,308 賓夕法尼亞郊外的老教友會林場 of this old Quaker meetinghouse out in rural Pennsylvania. 181 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:41,731 你看 都是橡木的 挺不錯的吧? 很漂亮 I mean, look. It's all oak. Isn't that something? It's gorgeous, huh? 182 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,732 哇哦 傑克 這是什麼? Oh, wow, Jake. What's this? 183 00:08:43,733 --> 00:08:48,730 H先生 比利主廚獻上的奶油濃湯 Well, Mr. H, this is a vichyssoise courtesy of Chef Billy. 184 00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:50,655 他聽說你們今晚要來 Now, he heard that you guys were coming in tonight, 185 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:53,408 所以他為你們專門準備了四道大餐 so he's put together a special four-course meal for you. 186 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:54,744 龍蝦沒問題吧? Lobster okay tonight? 187 00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,203 我當然沒問題 只要你覺得好就行 That's okay with me if it's okay with you, 188 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,998 除非你還想看看菜單另點 un-unless you wanna check out the menu. 189 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:01,541 貝思? 你要看一下菜單嗎 還是...? Beth? Unless you wanna check out the menu, or...? 190 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,502 - 不用 這挺好的 - 好的 - No, that's sounds lovely. - Right. 191 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,336 很好 Terrific. 192 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,548 請你替我謝謝主廚 謝謝 Please thank the chef. Thank you. 193 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,467 祝你好胃口 Bon Appetit. 194 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,766 噢 你 脖子上... Oh, you've, got something on your... 195 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,770 有東西? 第一次約會就出醜 我自己來吧 Something on my neck? Leave it to me to embarrass myself on a first date. 196 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,356 我來... Here... 197 00:09:24,774 --> 00:09:26,649 這裏? 還是這裏? 是嗎? There? There? I got it? 198 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:30,236 還有一點... 在你左蛋.. 左邊... A little bit... bit more on-on the left b... ball... One. 199 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,157 在左邊 還有一點點 Uh, left side. Of... Dribbly bit. 200 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,941 謝謝 沒事 Thanks. I mean, no biggie. 201 00:09:37,942 --> 00:09:41,039 相信我 我還碰上過更糟糕的情況 Trust me, I've been through worse. I mean, as... 202 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,460 我小時候 我一直被嘲笑 As a kid, I used to get made fun of all the time. 203 00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:47,128 是不是因為你的... Was it, because of your... 204 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,672 我口吃...我... 我原來有嚴重的口吃 My stutter. I... I used to have a really bad stutter. 205 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:53,385 經過了九年的語言治療才治好 Actually took probably nine years of speech therapy to get rid of it. 206 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:07,413 那 你還有什麼別的事... So, was there anything else they... 207 00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:09,276 被別人取笑嗎? may have made fun of? 208 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,030 - 我不知道 - 沒有了? - I don't know. - Anything at all? 209 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,158 噢 是的 有些孩子取笑我的脖子 Oh, yeah, some kids used to talk a little smack about my neck. 210 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,203 噢 感謝上帝! Oh, thank God! 211 00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:23,082 - 怎麼了? - 我還以為我瘋了 - What's up? - I thought I was going crazy. I... 212 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,291 怎麼會? What? 213 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:28,711 我是說... 沒什麼 .... I mean... not a big deal... at all. 214 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:33,050 具體是怎麼回事? It's just, what is the story there? 215 00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:37,407 當時我只有六歲 我從自行車上摔下 Well, when I was six, I fell off my bike 216 00:10:37,408 --> 00:10:38,555 倒在一個噴水頭上 and I landed on a sprinkler head... 217 00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:41,099 醫生不得不給我縫了幾針 and they had to stitch me up at the hospital. 218 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,561 看見沒 有道疤 是吧? See, it's, it's just a scar. Right? 219 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:47,189 孩子也會很刻薄 他們以前叫我科學怪人 I mean, kids could be mean. They used to call me Frankenstein. 220 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,611 他們會像這樣說"他還活著" "他還活著" They're like, "He's alive. He's alive!" 221 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,325 可我不在乎 孩子們會取笑任何事 不是嗎? Well, I don't care, you know. Kids make fun of everything, right? 222 00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:02,538 是我錯覺 還是這裏確實有點冷? Is it just me or did it suddenly get a little chilly in here? 223 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,334 我想可能是因為那個出風口 I think it may be that vent there. 224 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,088 - 你們的菜來了 - 天哪 看看這份量 - Here we are. - Man! Look at the size of those things. 225 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:15,091 噢 傑克 夥計 能把溫度稍微調高一些嗎? Oh, Jake, buddy, would you mind turning up the heat just a tad? 226 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,938 我覺得那個出風口一直在吹... I think that, that vent's blowing right on... 227 00:11:16,939 --> 00:11:17,452 沒問題 not a problem. 228 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,137 謝謝 Thank you. 229 00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:20,471 先讓我忙完... And, uh, just let me go ahead and... 230 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,765 - 可以 - 把這個端走 - Sure. - Get this out of your way here. 231 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,268 噢 天哪! 你...你還好嗎? Oh, God! Are you... Are you okay? 232 00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:27,771 我的胃 它... It's my stomach. There's... 233 00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:31,609 終於喘上這口氣了 Just get my breath back, you know. 234 00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:35,486 他在那! 那傢伙在那! There he is! There's the stud! 235 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,156 嘿 安琪! 雷! Hey! Angie! Ray! 236 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,032 嘿 你們近來如何? 還好嗎? Hey, how the hell are you guys? You're good? 237 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,701 顯然沒你好 Apparently not as good as you. 238 00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:43,578 嗨 我是安琪 這位是我的丈夫雷 Hi, I'm Angie and this is my husband Ray. 239 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,372 - 嗨 - 這位是我的新朋友 貝思 - Hi. - This is my new friend, Beth. 240 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,583 她慢慢讓我對相親恢復了信心 She's slowly restoring my faith in blind dates. 241 00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:50,126 向你致敬 貝思 Well, kudos to you, Beth, 242 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,253 你竟然能把這工作狂從辦公室裏拖出來 for getting this old workaholic out of his office for once. 243 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,714 得了 得了 雷 Come on. Come on, Ray. 244 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:57,051 幹的漂亮! 你可是釣到大魚了! Nice work! You caught the big one! 245 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,177 是嗎? Did I? 246 00:11:59,637 --> 00:12:01,054 可是... 你難道沒發現... But... Do you not notice the... 247 00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:04,433 - 看小埃文長得多快 - 是嗎 小傢伙? - Look how big little Evan's getting! - Yeah. Little? 248 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,269 是的 他長得巨快 Yeah. He's growing like crazy. 249 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,397 - 別 - 看這大胖小子 - No. - Who's a big boy? 250 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,609 看這大胖小子 Who's a big boy, huh? 251 00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:17,070 哇哦 雷 他真沉 長大肯定是員球場猛將 Wow, Ray, he's a monster. You got yourself a little linebacker here. 252 00:12:17,071 --> 00:12:19,405 准後衛要上床睡覺了 A little linebacker that needs to go to bed! 253 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,700 好的 你該睡覺了 去吧 Okay. You're off to bed. There you go. 254 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,620 - 真不小心 - 又掉了個奶嘴 - Fumble. - Another pacifier down. 255 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,747 我來撿 I got it. 256 00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,750 謝謝你 夥計 謝謝 Thanks, buddy. Thanks bud. 257 00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,626 給你 夥計 安琪? Here, bud. Angie? 258 00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,169 你們真般配 我得拍張照 You guys look so cute. I gotta take a picture. 259 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,213 真要拍照? Really? 260 00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:35,846 安琪 別鬧 Angie, please. 261 00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:37,173 讓他們吃飯吧 親愛的 Hey, let-let the man eat, honey. 262 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,550 別這樣 雷 我們第一次約會時就合影了 Come on, Ray. We have a picture of our first date. 263 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,427 他們也該留個影 They should have a picture of theirs. 264 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:45,306 快 起來去站在她身後 別害羞 Come on, get your fanny over there behind her and don't be shy. 265 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,643 - 好吧 好吧 - 好的 - All right. Okay, okay. All right. - Okay. 266 00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,479 - 真抱歉 - 湊近些 - I'm sorry about this. - Get in close. 267 00:12:50,688 --> 00:12:53,190 貝思 坐著別動 Beth, I'm gonna need you to hold still. 268 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,191 噢 天哪 他們看起來真是... Oh, God, they look so... 269 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:58,111 蹲低點! 把臉湊過去! 快點! Get down! Get your face down next to hers! Come on! 270 00:12:58,112 --> 00:13:00,322 快拍 快拍 快拍 Take it. Take it. Take it, take it, take it, take it. 271 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,992 - 太棒了 - 怎麼樣? - So good! - How's that? 272 00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,702 現在你們親一下對方吧? Now why don't you give each other a little kiss? 273 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,120 別這樣 安琪 我們才剛認識 Oh, come on. Angie, we just met. 274 00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:09,205 行了 讓他們吃飯吧! Come on, let 'em eat! Let the man eat! 275 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,999 - 來嘛! 就親一下 - 好吧好吧 - Come on! Just a little kiss. - All right, all right. 276 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,459 就一下 親額頭 We'll do one, one kiss on the forehead. 277 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,460 - 就在額頭上親一下 - 用不著吧 - One peck on the forehead. - We don't need to. 278 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,712 - 準備好了? 好的 - 真的用不著 - Ready? Okay. - We really don't. 279 00:13:15,713 --> 00:13:17,089 不用這樣... We don't need... 280 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:22,469 搞什麼! 繼續找 The fuck, man! Keep looking. 281 00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:27,474 我們來看看四十二號好了 Let's try the forty-second one. 282 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,101 對 對 好主意 Yeah, yeah, good idea. 283 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,024 咪咪 Boobs. 284 00:13:37,151 --> 00:13:39,486 帶病毒毛片 Pornography with viruses. 285 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,157 巴克斯特 你死定了 Yeah, Baxter, you're going down. 286 00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:45,117 繼續找 Keep looking. 287 00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,542 這是炙烤蘇門答臘咖啡 我們自己磨的 It's uh, roast Sumatra. I grind the beans myself. 288 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:57,170 再次感謝你的晚餐 你真的不用這樣客氣 Hey, thanks again for dinner. You really didn't have to do this. 289 00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:58,171 應該的 Oh, please. 290 00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,547 連此喬遷歡迎宴都不給你們準備 What kind of neighbors would we be... 291 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,424 我們算哪門子鄰居? if we didn't have you over for a welcome dinner? 292 00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:02,979 西恩 薩曼莎剛還說 Sean, Samantha was just saying 293 00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:05,053 他家孩子全程在家接受教育 that they homeschool their son. 294 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:06,179 有意思 Oh, that is interesting. 295 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,556 我們只是覺得只有這樣才能確保... Well, we just think it's the only way to make sure... 296 00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,185 他接受到最好的教育 that he gets the best education possible. 297 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,186 你真的應該為你兒子考慮一下 You should really consider it for your kids. 298 00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,980 知道吧 凱文正在樓上寫作業呢 Hey, you know, Kevin's upstairs doing his homework right now. 299 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,523 我敢肯定他很願意和你們聊天 I'm sure he'd love to talk to you guys about it. 300 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,971 等等 你兩位親自在家教兒子 Wait. He... So you homeschool your son 301 00:14:19,972 --> 00:14:21,195 還給他留作業? but he still gets homework? 302 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:26,199 凱文能有個正常完整的高中生活經歷 It's very important to us that Kevin has... 303 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,286 對我們來說是很重要的 a normal and complete high school experience. 304 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,304 用黑色墨水完成家庭作業 Written assignments are to be done in black ink. 305 00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:36,084 不許用綠色 藍色或者粉色的筆寫 Not green or blue or pink. 306 00:14:36,085 --> 00:14:36,890 你那榆木腦袋 When are you gonna get that 307 00:14:36,891 --> 00:14:39,171 怎麼什麼時候才能記住 莫裏斯先生? through your thick skull, Mr. Morris? 308 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,173 我是米勒 It's Miller. 309 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,300 你被留堂了 That's a detention. 310 00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:47,220 快 快點! 撿起來! 撿起來! 撿起來! Move, move, move, move, move! Pick it up! Pick it up! 311 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,431 加油 娘炮 動作快點! Come on, girlfriend, pick your knees up! 312 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,558 噢 我...我明白了 就是... Oh, I... I see. It's... 313 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,022 但你們有沒有發覺 我也說不好哈 But don't you feel like maybe he's, I don't know, 314 00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:56,562 他會懷念外面的世界? missing out? 315 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,107 是啊 高中生活不僅僅只有課程和作業 Yeah, high school is about more than just classes and homework. 316 00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:02,235 可不是麼 還可能被人疏遠或者孤獨難耐 Absolutely. There's the alienation, the loneliness. 317 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:05,238 高中就該是男孩子們一生中的低谷期 It should be the unhappiest time in a boy's life. 318 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,364 所以我們才盡可能確保... That's why we try to make sure... 319 00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:09,450 凱文不錯過任何一段重要的... that Kevin doesn't miss out on any of those essential... 320 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:13,122 正規學校的青少年們該嘗到的磨難 emotionally scarring experiences that he'd get at a regular school. 321 00:15:13,332 --> 00:15:16,333 {\an8}凱文是基佬 322 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,333 基佬! Fag! 323 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,128 死基佬! Faggot! 324 00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,133 醜八怪 你的書掉了! You dropped your books, fuckface! 325 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:34,059 天啊! 爸爸 搞什麼! Jesus! Dad, what the fuck! 326 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,603 哇哦 你的陰毛長的好奇怪 Whoa. You've got weird pubes. 327 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:40,732 大家來看啊! 這孩子陰毛夠奇葩! Hey, guys! Come check out this kid's weird pubes! 328 00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:44,277 儘管如此 你們倆肯定做了不少工作 Still, it must be an awful lot of work for you guys, though. 329 00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:47,280 噢 那是當然 但我們樂此不疲 Oh, sure, there is. But we love it. 330 00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,824 我們一起想出個全面規劃... I think we've put together a pretty comprehensive plan... 331 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:53,370 各種青春期關鍵經歷 凱文一個都不會少 that provides Kevin with every important adolescent experience. 332 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,598 比如 和其他孩子交往... You know, socializing with other kids... 333 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,178 嗨 凱文 對吧? Hey. Kevin, right? 334 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,181 我可以進去嗎? Can I please come in? 335 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,516 黛比·克拉克來啦 Look, Debbie Clark's here, 336 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,520 你之前約過人家 會有些尷尬 the girl you asked out before. It's gonna be awkward. 337 00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,291 抱歉 不給進 抱歉 不可以 Sorry. No. Sorry, sorry. No. 338 00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:27,278 抱歉 就這樣吧 Sorry. Okay, okay. 339 00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,064 媽 別這樣 等等 Mom. Mom, please no, wait. 340 00:16:28,065 --> 00:16:29,198 聽我說... 如果我... Mom, just... if I... 341 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,331 課外活動 Extracurricular activities. 342 00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:42,000 {\an8}噁心小菜鳥 343 00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:40,000 你做了什麼? What do you do? 344 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,085 噁心事 I suck. 345 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,545 什麼噁心事? What do you suck? 346 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,131 - 口交 - 大聲點! - Dicks. - Louder! 347 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,675 - 我玩口交! 口交! - 態度端正點! - I suck dicks! I suck dicks! - Like you mean it! 348 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,553 我玩口交 我無時無刻不想著口交! I suck dicks, I suck dicks, I suck 'em all the time! 349 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:54,472 如果你是個超級英雄 你想要什麼超能力? If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? 350 00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:56,682 我的超能力就是玩口交! My superpower would be sucking dicks! 351 00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:00,354 兄弟 看你現在那狼狽樣 Dude. You have so much poop on you right now. 352 00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,607 當然 初吻... And of course the first kiss... 353 00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:08,070 應該是任何一個男孩一生中最尷尬的時刻 that should be the most awkward moment in any boy's life. 354 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:16,328 艾米莉和卡拉說我們應該玩全套 Emily and Kara said we should go all the way. 355 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,374 你覺得呢? What do you think? 356 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,282 額 你有保護措施嗎? Um, do you have protection? 357 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,369 所以 兄弟 So, dude. 358 00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:00,789 別告訴傑夫那些人 但... Don't tell Jeff or any of those guys, but... 359 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,667 我只是想說... I just wanted to say that... 360 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,046 如果我真的喜歡男人... if I did like guys... 361 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,051 你真的是我所喜歡的類型 you'd totally be the kind of guy that I'd like. 362 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,765 說起來很奇怪 This is weird. 363 00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,567 我不是當真的 I didn't mean any of that. 364 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,278 就是隨便說說 Just talking, you know? 365 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,279 哇哦 Wow. 366 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,282 我想我不會忘記凱文第一次告訴我們... I don't think I'll ever forget the first time Kevin told us that... 367 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,701 他希望他沒被生出來 he wished he'd never been born. 368 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:42,080 - 那時他才十二歲 - 早熟孩子 - He was only twelve. - Precocious kid. 369 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,290 研究表明 一般來說 You know, studies show that the average child... 370 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,709 孩子直到十五歲時才會表現出自我厭惡 doesn't express that kind of self-loathing till they're fifteen. 371 00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,420 我相信 I bet. 372 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,340 他來了 Here he comes. 373 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:55,301 親愛的 來見見鄰居 Hey, honey. Meet the neighbors. 374 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,025 凱文 這是西恩和克萊爾 Kevin, this is Sean and Clare. 375 00:18:57,026 --> 00:18:59,180 他們剛搬來 就住和我們隔三戶的那棟房子 They moved into the house three doors down. 376 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,432 噢 伊戈斯家的老房子 很好 Oh, the Yeagers' old place. Great. 377 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,100 對啊 額 我...我叫凱文 Yeah, I'm, um, I'm... I'm Kevin. 378 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,186 很高興見到你們 歡迎入住同一小區 Uh, pleased to meet you. Welcome to the neighborhood. 379 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,563 我也很高興見到你 Nice to meet you, too. 380 00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:07,814 謝謝 太有禮貌了 Thank you. That's so polite. That's... 381 00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,733 我要出去了 有些朋友約好在格林家見面 I'm heading out. A bunch of us are gonna meet up at The Green. 382 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,319 噢 格林家 Ooh, The Green. 383 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,737 對 我做完作業了 And, uh, yes, I finished my homework. 384 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,573 還有 珍和我稍後要去看場電影 Oh, and Jen and I are gonna catch a movie afterwards, 385 00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:18,741 我可能會回來的晚點 so I won't be home until late. 386 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,745 沒問題 記得給我們帶個好 Oh, that's fine. Just make sure you say hello from us. 387 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,707 珍 和我媽打招呼 Jen, my mom says hi. 388 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,377 你好 珍 Hello, Jen. 389 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:32,339 你好 米勒夫人 我是個漂亮女孩 Hello, Mrs. Miller. I'm the pretty girl. 390 00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:34,758 沒錯 She is. 391 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:39,137 - 你倆今晚玩的開心 - 好的 - You guys have fun tonight.- All right. 392 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:41,347 很高興見到你! Nice meeting you! 393 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,475 那麼 誰要蛋糕? So. Who wants cake? 394 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,353 太恐怖了 我們看看別的 Creepy. Let's move on. 395 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,480 老兄 繼續搜索 Keep searching, dude. 396 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:07,540 嗨 Hi. 397 00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:10,042 看 There. 398 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,254 開始野餐吧 Now it's a picnic. 399 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,797 你喜歡巧克力脆皮草莓嗎? Would you care for a chocolate-covered strawberry? 400 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:18,510 天啊 親愛的 說到浪漫 Oh my gosh, sweetie. Talk about romantic. 401 00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:20,511 太完美了! This is perfect! 402 00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:23,514 朱莉 我們在一起一年多了... Julie, we've been together for over a year... 403 00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,017 十六個月兩個星期 Sixteen months and two weeks. 404 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:32,366 這段交往時期 我意識到你對我來說很重要 And in that time, I've come to realize that you mean everything to me. 405 00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:35,569 道格 你也是 Oh, Doug. You, too. 406 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,321 有些話我想問你 And there's something I want to ask you. 407 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,533 我也有些話想問你 There's something I'd like to ask you. 408 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,410 好吧 你先 Okay, uh, you go first. 409 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,245 - 不 你先 - 不 你先 - No, you go first. - No, you first. 410 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,414 不 你先嘛 No, you first. 411 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:50,542 不然我們同時說出來好了? How about we say it at the same time? 412 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:51,793 好啊 Okay. 413 00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,797 - 一 二... - 一 二 - One, two... - One, two. 414 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,549 你願意和我來幾炮嗎? Will you poop on me? 415 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,053 - 什麼? - 你願意和我來幾炮嗎? - What? - Will you poop on me? 416 00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,055 什麼 你什麼意思... What? What are you... 417 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,599 等等 你在說什麼? Wait, what did- what did you say? 418 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,810 我信任你 我覺得你就是我的靈魂伴侶 I... I trust you. I feel like you're my soul mate. 419 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:13,606 我想送你份厚禮 把我的第一次給你 I want to give you this gift. I want you to be my first. 420 00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:16,359 拉一泡... To poop... 421 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,111 - 在我身上 - 什麼? - On me. - What? 422 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,614 你不想嗎? You don't want to? 423 00:21:21,615 --> 00:21:23,240 不是 我...我是說... No, I... I mean... 424 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,742 你對我沒感覺了嗎? Are you not attracted to me anymore? 425 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:27,453 寶貝 當然有感覺 Of course I'm attracted to you, honey. 426 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,457 那你願意? 對我來一炮嗎? So will you? Poop on me? 427 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:37,464 哥們 你算是中獎了 Ah, man. You just hit the fucking lottery, man. 428 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:42,510 你不覺得要在她身上拉屎很奇怪嗎? You don't think it's a little weird for wanting him to shit on her? 429 00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:46,306 慢著 哥們 尊重下這位兄弟 可以嗎? Slow down, man. Have some respect for this guy, okay? 430 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,265 她不是要他來一發 She did not ask him to shit on her. 431 00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:49,642 來一發只是找妓女逢場作戲 Shitting is something you do on a whore. 432 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,101 - 對 - 對? - Right. - Right? 433 00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:53,730 屎交是獻給靈魂伴侶的禮物 Pooping is a gift you give to your soul mate. 434 00:21:54,523 --> 00:21:56,732 - 必須的 - 我從沒這麼想過 - of Course. - I never looked at it like that. 435 00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,382 說吧 兄弟 有啥煽情菜? So tell me, man, what's on the menu? 436 00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,652 在你行動之前告訴我嘛 Before you do the big deed. 437 00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:02,280 我不...我不知道 有那麼重要嗎? I don't... I don't know. Does it fucking matter? 438 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:05,491 - 她是素食主義者? - 不是 - Is she a vegetarian? - No. 439 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:09,620 多好的機會! 你個大傻蛋 真愚蠢到不行 Boom! Big beef burrito, with extra beans on that bad boy. 440 00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:12,122 放些調味汁和鱷梨色拉醬來調色嘛 Put some salsa, some guacamole for color. 441 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:14,667 便出來的話 會充滿節日氣氛 你懂的吧? When it come out of you, it's a festival. You know what I'm saying? 442 00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:17,628 為了心上人就豁出去吧 聽見沒有? You went the extra yard for your lady. You hear me? 443 00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:19,672 不了 我還是弄點有品位的東西 好嗎? No, I'm doing something classy, okay? 444 00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:23,426 我會烤黃鰭金槍魚牛排 做份沙拉 開瓶紅酒 I'm doing seared ahi tuna steaks, a salad, and red wine. 445 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,678 - 不 不! 不能這樣 - 不錯 - No. No, no, no! Fuckin' no! - Nice. 446 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:30,141 重點不在於吃上去怎麼樣 而在於產生的效果 It's not about how fancy it goes in. It's about how fancy it comes out. 447 00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:34,144 相信我 墨西哥菜真的催便能力超強 Well... And believe me, Mexican food makes a fuckin' mess. 448 00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,563 可別吃沙拉 And don't mess with fuckin' salads. 449 00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:37,773 你知道沙拉有什麼作用嗎? 會讓你便秘 You know what salad does? It locks down your bowels. 450 00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,527 你不希望上壘的時候腸子不給力吧? 當然不 You don't want your bowels all locked down, do you? No. 451 00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:43,279 喝酒還不錯 喝上幾杯 Drinks are cool. Have a few fuckin' drinks. 452 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,193 會讓你挺得更持久 Makes you last longer. 453 00:22:44,194 --> 00:22:44,780 更持久? Last longer? 454 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:47,658 拜託 你不想成為擠便先生 對吧? You don't want to be Mr.Two Squeeze, Thank-You Please, right? 455 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:50,369 - 你肯定不想的 - 比利 該死的 - You really don't want to be that. - Billy, goddamn, Billy. 456 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:52,705 我倆大人談話你就不能走遠點啊 Why don't you go over there while grown people are talking over here. 457 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,582 去一邊玩你的美國大兵玩具吧 Go over there and play with your GI Joes or some shit, man. 458 00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:56,208 恩 我去就是了 Yeah, I'll go over there. 459 00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:58,795 記著 用我的建議試試 Look it. Take my advice on this one. 460 00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:02,715 今晚就出去找人試試 好嗎? You go out tonight and you shit on a few skanks. Okay? 461 00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:04,425 馬力全開 Get it all out your system. 462 00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:09,347 你明天一準兒做回真男人 Fuckin' tomorrow, you are a one-poop man. 463 00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:11,099 懂嗎? Understand? 464 00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:14,560 這是毛東西? What the fuck is this? 465 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:18,565 兄弟 瀉藥界偉哥啊 幫你一洩(瀉)千里 Viagra, brother. Poop Viagra. Yeah. 466 00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:21,692 - 你隨身攜帶? - 對啊 就是隨身攜帶 - Just carry that on you? - Yeah, I carry that shit around on me. 467 00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:23,444 - 戶外烤肉也帶著? - 還真被你說對了 - At barbecues? - You goddamn right. 468 00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:24,445 我吃不慣葷腥的東西 I got a meat problem. 469 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:26,196 各種肉類都是 我得去方便一下 All your fuckin' meat, I gotta clean that shit out. 470 00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:27,477 - 好吧 - 好吧? 隨便 - Okay, yeah. - Okay? Fine, then. 471 00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:45,383 - 我準備好了 寶貝 - 噢 不是吧 - I'm ready, sweetie. - Oh, fuck. 472 00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:46,718 馬上 One second. 473 00:23:55,124 --> 00:23:56,002 瀉藥 474 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,502 我愛她 我愛她 I love her. Hey, I love her. 475 00:24:27,759 --> 00:24:29,760 - 噢! 你看起來真美 - 謝謝 - Oh, oh! You look nice. - Thank you. 476 00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:32,638 那麼 我們就... Okay. Let's go... 477 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,517 哇哦 哇哦親愛的 你要幹嘛? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Honey. What are you doing? 478 00:24:35,558 --> 00:24:38,644 我要幹嘛? 我... 你知道我在幹嘛 What am I doing? I'm... You know what I'm doing. 479 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,062 我盡力... I'm trying to, you know. 480 00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:45,060 還不是時候 猛男 我想慢慢享受 Not yet, tiger. I wanna savor this. 481 00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:47,320 好吧 我有點... 額... Oh, okay. Well, I kinda... I kinda got to, uh... 482 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:51,032 不 不 不 不 來 來吻我 No, no, no, no. Come here. Come here and kiss me, 483 00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:55,203 然後給我你的特別禮物 and then you can give me your special present. 484 00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,666 - 快說你有多愛我 - 我很愛你 - Tell me how much you love me. - Oh, I love you so much. 485 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:03,043 - 有多愛? - 愛你愛到肯為你殺人 - How much? - I love you so much I'd kill a man. 486 00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:04,087 現在開始吧 拜託? Can we do this, please? 487 00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:10,093 - 我買了瓶特製薰衣草潤膚露 - 好吧 - I bought this special lavender lotion. - Okay. 488 00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:11,923 給我脖子擦擦乳液咯 Why don't you get my neck ready. 489 00:25:11,924 --> 00:25:13,345 你想塗在脖子上? You want it on your neck? 490 00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:15,347 怎麼了? 你不願意嗎? Why? Does that not work for you? 491 00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:17,434 願意 願意 來吧 It's fine, it's fine. Here we go. 492 00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:25,232 很不錯 That's nice. 493 00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:27,694 好吧 好吧 我們來吧 讓我們... Okay, okay. There we go. Let's get it and... 494 00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:33,700 - 不 不 還沒到 - 什麼? - No. No. Not yet. - What? 495 00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:36,578 - 不 過來 - 幹嘛? - No. Come here. - What? 496 00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:41,124 - 你太興奮了 - 我知道 我把持不住了 - You're so excited. - I know. I can't stand it. 497 00:25:43,585 --> 00:25:46,336 還記得我們相遇的那天麼? Gosh. Remember the day that we met? 498 00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:47,589 記得 Yes. 499 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:52,510 你有沒有想過有天你會... Did you ever think that someday you'd be able to... 500 00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,263 - 你懂的? - 老實說 不 不 我不懂 - you know? - Honestly, no. No, I didn't. 501 00:25:56,264 --> 00:25:58,349 還記得我那天穿了什麼嗎? Do you remember what I was wearing that day? 502 00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:01,477 寶貝 我穿了什麼? Baby, what was I wearing? 503 00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:02,696 記得我那天穿了什麼嗎? Do you remember what I was wearing? 504 00:26:02,697 --> 00:26:03,479 一件黃色夏裝! A yellow sun dress! 505 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,523 快點! 轉過去 讓我拉你身上吧! Come on! Roll over and let me shit on you, please! 506 00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:08,025 你說什麼? Excuse me? 507 00:26:08,026 --> 00:26:10,360 抱歉 拉一泡 拉在你身上 I'm sorry. Poop on you. I meant poop on you. 508 00:26:10,361 --> 00:26:12,154 寶貝 我絕不是有意對你不敬 Honey, I would never shit on you. 509 00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,740 寶貝 我絕不會拉你身上? I would never shit on you. Honey? 510 00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,576 回來 我愛你! 操! Come here. I love you! Fuck! 511 00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:19,162 真不敢相信 Oh, I can't. 512 00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:22,540 朱莉! 回來! Julie! Come back! 513 00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:26,628 寶貝! 我愛你! 我想向你求婚! Oh, baby, please! I love you! I want you to marry you! 514 00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:30,757 我的天啊! 道格 不! Oh, my God! Doug, no! 515 00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:35,553 上帝啊! Oh, jeez! 516 00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:40,183 噢 上帝! 我的上帝! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 517 00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:44,436 - 道格! 趕緊叫救護車 - 馬上! - Doug! Doug! Call a fucking ambulance! - I'm on it! 518 00:26:44,437 --> 00:26:48,441 堅持住 寶貝 好嗎? 堅持住 你會沒事的 Hold on. Hold on, baby, okay? Hold on. You're gonna make it. 519 00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,069 朱莉 我愛你 Oh, Julie, I love you. 520 00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:53,530 我愛你 I love you. 521 00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:57,283 這些都是給我準備的? All of this was for me? 522 00:26:58,409 --> 00:27:00,203 是的 我想是吧 Yeah, I guess so. 523 00:27:00,703 --> 00:27:05,642 是嗎? 太美了 這是我見過的最美場面 Oh, yeah? It's so beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 524 00:27:07,043 --> 00:27:09,963 是的...我願意嫁給你 Yes... I will marry you. 525 00:27:10,713 --> 00:27:12,715 道格 我願意嫁給你 I will marry you, Doug. 526 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,828 {\an8}熟女當道 527 00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:26,228 網上最火辣的熟女會出現在哪裏 CougarCrate, where the web's hottest cougars hang out. 528 00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:27,814 熟女當道 太牛逼了 CougarCrate. Perfect. 529 00:27:28,064 --> 00:27:32,359 準備好了呦 熟女們已蓄勢待發 Prepare yourselves, because the cougars are on the prowl. 530 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:36,698 看看你 太正點了 我喜歡那個反戰標誌 Look at you. You are nice. I like that peace sign. 531 00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:38,992 開始熱身...什麼事? Just warmin' up... What? 532 00:27:39,376 --> 00:27:39,964 卡爾文? Calvin? 533 00:27:39,965 --> 00:27:40,742 發... 發生什麼事了? Wh... What's going on? 534 00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:42,452 {\an8}Beautiful Mind: <美丽心灵>裏的克勞叔犯過這毛病 535 00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:42,452 他開始鑽牛角尖了 He's gone all Beautiful Mind on us. 536 00:27:42,453 --> 00:27:43,997 他已完全失控 He's off the fuckin' grid. 537 00:27:44,998 --> 00:27:46,999 - 拜託 巴克斯特 想想法子! - 兄弟 - Come on, Baxter. Think! - Dude, 538 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,458 他把這玩笑當真 要搞出大事了 he's taken this shit to a whole new level. 539 00:27:48,459 --> 00:27:53,407 所有東西...除以九... Everything... divided by nine... 540 00:27:58,136 --> 00:27:59,498 卡爾文 太棒了 Calvin, great. 541 00:27:59,499 --> 00:28:02,222 J.J.和我試圖限定我們的搜索條件 J.J. and I were trying to delineate our search protocols. 542 00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:04,244 你能多提供些關於這個視頻的信息嗎? Can you tell me anything more about this video? 543 00:28:04,245 --> 00:28:05,143 你從哪裏得知的? Where'd you hear about it? 544 00:28:05,393 --> 00:28:06,519 聖史蒂夫·施瑞德 St-Stevie Schraeder. 545 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:11,149 史蒂夫·施瑞德 史蒂夫 Stevie Schraeder. Stevie. 546 00:28:11,482 --> 00:28:14,402 就是它! 是時候大顯身手了 Got it! It's time to bring out the big guns. 547 00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:19,990 "鷹眼特狙網"? 這是什麼? "Falcontron"? What's this? 548 00:28:19,991 --> 00:28:22,492 這是網上最牛的搜索引擎 It's the most elite search engine on the Internet. 549 00:28:22,493 --> 00:28:24,563 只有五十個人有使用權限 Only fifty humans have access. 550 00:28:24,564 --> 00:28:26,289 其中十二人是國家領袖 Twelve are heads of state. 551 00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:28,498 那你怎麼進去的? So how do you have access to it? 552 00:28:28,499 --> 00:28:32,295 我黑了BND的主機 I hacked into the mainframe of the Bundesnachrichtendienst. 553 00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:35,422 別編詞了 巴克斯特 又開玩笑了 Stop making up words, Baxter. Seriously. 554 00:28:35,423 --> 00:28:37,549 他總這樣 他只是在騙人... He does that all the time. He just makes up... 555 00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:40,053 是德國情報局 It's the German intelligence bureau. 556 00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:43,681 - "情報局"? - 別廢話了 - "Bureau"? - It's not a word. 557 00:28:45,558 --> 00:28:47,769 尊敬的顧客朋友們 Attention P-Town shoppers 558 00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:51,314 請看看我們刊在<时尚女刊>上的宣傳單 Be sure to check out our insert in Sassy Lass magazine... 559 00:28:51,522 --> 00:28:55,526 科爾博士旗下產品特惠驚喜價 for killer deals on the Dr. Cole family of products. 560 00:28:56,194 --> 00:29:01,190 另有"舞會必備"減價特賣 We're now offering a buy one get one "Senior Prom" special... 561 00:29:01,199 --> 00:29:04,077 羔羊皮安全套和瓶裝酒買一送一 on lambskin condoms and boxed wine. 562 00:29:04,327 --> 00:29:07,079 當然還有"賴賬老爹"優惠 And don't forget our "Deadbeat Dad" discount. 563 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,332 所有一次性相機和兒童棒球組合打折出售 On all disposable cameras and whiffle ball bats. 564 00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:12,210 親們 陰部干癢嗎? Got a dry, itchy vag? 565 00:29:12,543 --> 00:29:16,339 今天 飛逸乳液特惠 買一送一 Today, we are offering a two-for-one deal on Beave Lotion. 566 00:29:17,048 --> 00:29:20,217 這款乳液保濕效果大受廣大女士的青睞 That's lotion for your beave by Moisture Maid, ladies... 567 00:29:20,218 --> 00:29:25,098 現在第四通道打折出售中 請惠顧... now on sale on aisle four. Be sure to check out... 568 00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:32,105 尼爾 Neil. 569 00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:34,065 維羅尼卡 Veronica. 570 00:29:34,190 --> 00:29:35,233 尼爾 Neil. 571 00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:37,109 你憔悴萬分啊 You look pale. 572 00:29:37,110 --> 00:29:38,568 你孕味十足 You look pregnant. 573 00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:41,071 你像是睡廚房餿水池的 You look like you slept in a soup kitchen urinal. 574 00:29:41,072 --> 00:29:43,699 你像是在那流產診所後廢墟裏泡過澡的 You look like you bathed in a Dumpster behind the abortion clinic. 575 00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:46,076 你就是那聖誕節得癌癥的倒霉孩子 You look like the kid who got cancer for Christmas. 576 00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:48,078 {\an8}The Golden Girls:<黄金女郎> 幾位老奶奶住在一起回憶過去 577 00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:48,078 你就是混跡夜總會的老蕩婦 You look like the slutty one on The Golden Girls. 578 00:29:48,079 --> 00:29:49,746 {\an8}<黄金女郎>裏角色名 579 00:29:48,079 --> 00:29:49,746 - 你說桃樂茜? - 布蘭奇. - Dorothy? - Blanche. 580 00:29:49,747 --> 00:29:52,207 收回那話! 你他媽婊子養的! You take that back! You son of a bitch! 581 00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:54,127 收回那話! 收回那話! You take it back! Take that back! 582 00:29:58,006 --> 00:29:59,507 我想好好品嚐你 I want to taste you. 583 00:30:00,008 --> 00:30:03,136 慢慢舔到你濕得不行 I want to lick you till you weep. 584 00:30:10,101 --> 00:30:11,435 你胃酸反流怎麼樣了? How's your acid reflux? 585 00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:12,770 你的瘤病毒病怎麼樣了? How's your HPV? 586 00:30:13,104 --> 00:30:15,272 是你發病了 維羅尼卡 我只是攜帶者 It's your HPV, Veronica. I'm just carrying it. 587 00:30:15,273 --> 00:30:18,108 我們還是別來爭論先有雞還是先有蛋了 尼爾 Let's not have another chicken or the egg debate, Neil. 588 00:30:18,109 --> 00:30:20,235 不行 開始 No. Let's. 589 00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:25,116 - 雞 - 蛋 - Chicken. - Egg. 590 00:30:26,534 --> 00:30:28,244 你那塗滿 Your flesh... 591 00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:31,372 可可油的肌膚 slick with cocoa butter... 592 00:30:33,291 --> 00:30:34,792 讓我魂牽夢繞 it haunts me. 593 00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:41,696 維羅尼卡怎麼樣了? How's Veronica? 594 00:30:41,697 --> 00:30:43,258 維羅尼卡很好 維羅尼卡 Veronica's fine, Veronica. 595 00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:45,177 真不敢相信你居然把你的狗叫做維羅尼卡 I can't believe you named your dog Veronica. 596 00:30:45,178 --> 00:30:46,196 無法想像你居然會去 Can't believe you sucked off 597 00:30:46,197 --> 00:30:47,554 和魔法豆遊樂場的流浪漢搞口交 that hobo from Magic Bean. 598 00:30:47,555 --> 00:30:49,265 他是男巫 尼爾 He was a wizard, Neil. 599 00:30:51,642 --> 00:30:53,561 噓 我想推倒你 Shh. I wanna be on you. 600 00:30:54,187 --> 00:30:55,521 上你 In you. 601 00:31:00,651 --> 00:31:02,277 我想... I wanna be... 602 00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:04,447 吻遍 all... 603 00:31:09,202 --> 00:31:12,205 你的下巴 over your chin. 604 00:31:16,793 --> 00:31:19,212 你還喜歡法式焦糖布丁嗎? Do you still like crme brle? 605 00:31:19,420 --> 00:31:22,339 你還喜歡被爆菊嗎? Do you still like fingers in your butthole? 606 00:31:22,340 --> 00:31:24,175 你明知故問 You know the answer is yes. 607 00:31:25,093 --> 00:31:26,176 噢 尼爾 Oh, Neil. 608 00:31:26,177 --> 00:31:27,720 維羅尼卡 Veronica. 609 00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:30,348 - 尼爾 - 維羅尼卡 - Neil. - Veronica. 610 00:31:30,681 --> 00:31:32,307 我想忘記你 I wanna get over you. 611 00:31:32,308 --> 00:31:34,560 我想在你陰部留下愛的印記 I wanna give you a hickey on your vagina. 612 00:31:46,239 --> 00:31:48,616 你已經做到了 尼爾 You already have, Neil. 613 00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:52,203 你已經做到了 You already have. 614 00:31:58,251 --> 00:32:00,086 教堂見 I'll see you in church. 615 00:32:00,211 --> 00:32:01,629 我要先去找你... Not if I see you f... 616 00:32:17,353 --> 00:32:18,396 我說兩句? May I? 617 00:32:22,525 --> 00:32:27,405 我不是羅密歐 諸位 但我知道什麼是愛 I'm no Romeo, folks, but I know what love is. 618 00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:32,502 愛情就是在你首次互戒會上隔著褲子擼一發 It's an over-the-chinos rub and tug during your first AA meeting. 619 00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:34,244 對 對 沒錯 Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 620 00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:36,371 如果我是你 And if I was in your shoes, 621 00:32:36,372 --> 00:32:41,343 我會不惜低聲下氣奮力把她挽回 I would climb Dick Mountain mouth first just to get her back! 622 00:32:41,544 --> 00:32:42,670 對的 先生 Yes Sir! 623 00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:45,672 我們會讓那小狐貍精 Are we gonna let that foxy little thing... 624 00:32:45,673 --> 00:32:48,800 隨便就與這男孩不相往來嗎? run willy-nilly out of this boy's life? 625 00:32:48,801 --> 00:32:50,385 不會! 不會! No! No! 626 00:32:50,386 --> 00:32:52,304 我們要幫助這年輕人 Are we gonna help this youngster... 627 00:32:52,305 --> 00:32:55,141 挽回那甜妞嗎? take that sweet ass to pound town? 628 00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:58,685 - 你什麼時候換班? - 凌晨五點 - When's your shift up? - Five a.m. 629 00:32:58,686 --> 00:33:01,647 - 我代班到三點 - 三點到五點我來! - I'll take it till three. - I got three to five! 630 00:33:02,398 --> 00:33:03,441 謝謝 Thank you. 631 00:33:04,650 --> 00:33:06,569 無需多說 Don't be a bitch about it. 632 00:33:07,403 --> 00:33:08,696 去追她回來 孩子! Go get her, son! 633 00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:18,539 這是什麼? What's that? 634 00:33:29,165 --> 00:33:30,567 音樂新暢享 635 00:33:31,765 --> 00:33:32,567 愛寶 636 00:33:44,065 --> 00:33:46,567 沒你想的那麼激動人心 也就是... It's not as exciting as you might think. It's... It's... 637 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,445 對我來說 也就是助人為樂 For me, I like to say it's more about, just like, helping people, you know. 638 00:33:50,446 --> 00:33:53,740 - 不是處罰不法分子 - 是的 我懂的 - It's not about punishing criminals... - Right, yeah, I totally understand. 639 00:33:53,741 --> 00:33:55,617 - 幫助人會讓我覺得開心 - 羅賓! - It's just, it makes you feel good... - Robin! 640 00:33:55,618 --> 00:33:57,328 - 不是吧 - 羅賓! - Oh, no. - Robin! 641 00:33:59,247 --> 00:34:00,456 羅賓 你去哪啦? 嗨 你好啊 Hey, Robin. Where you been? Hi, how you doing. 642 00:34:00,581 --> 00:34:02,501 你竟敢和假釋官爽約 You missed your meeting with your parole officer. 643 00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:04,350 什麼? 假釋官? What? Parole officer? 644 00:34:04,351 --> 00:34:05,502 不是 他開玩笑的 No. He's kidding. 645 00:34:05,503 --> 00:34:07,629 是啊 這傢伙前陣子惹了點麻煩 Yeah, yeah, this guy got in some trouble a while back for... 646 00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:10,006 在操場上玩弄他的小雞雞 whipping out his little Dick Grayson on a playground. 647 00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:11,174 沒有 我才沒有 No, I didn't. 648 00:34:11,175 --> 00:34:11,695 但是 沒事的 But, it's all good. 649 00:34:11,696 --> 00:34:12,676 我是說 反正你老婆都原諒你了 是吧? I mean, your wife forgave you, right? 650 00:34:12,677 --> 00:34:14,428 - 什麼? - 你結婚了? - What? - You're married? 651 00:34:15,429 --> 00:34:17,430 - 誤入婚途了啊 - 不是 我沒有! - Married pervert. Yeah. - No, I'm not! 652 00:34:17,431 --> 00:34:19,474 史黛西 我沒有結婚! 他開玩笑的! Stacey, I'm... I'm not married! He's kidding! 653 00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:21,434 兄弟 你這可是躲過一劫啊 Oh, man. Dodged that bullet. 654 00:34:21,435 --> 00:34:23,603 你他媽想幹什麼 蝙蝠俠! 都被你給毀了! The hell are you doing here, Batman! You're gonna ruin this! 655 00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:25,438 淡定啦! 聽著 我剛刷微博看到 Calm down! Hey, look, I read on Twitter... 656 00:34:25,439 --> 00:34:28,275 一超級混蛋要來炸場子 that a super-villain's gonna bomb this loser meet and greet. 657 00:34:28,276 --> 00:34:31,403 所以我來拯救拯救啦 我不是向來如此嘛 So I'm here to save the day, like I do, all the time. 658 00:34:31,404 --> 00:34:32,529 你懂啦 這是我的職責 I mean, you know, it's my thing. 659 00:34:32,530 --> 00:34:34,406 - 誰要我是蝙蝠俠! - 胡說八道 - I'm the Batman! - Yeah, baloney! 660 00:34:34,407 --> 00:34:37,242 你就是一如既往地妨礙我勾搭妹子 You're here to ruin my chances with women like you do all the time. 661 00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:39,703 怎麼可能 兄弟 不是啦! 我可是很挺你的 No way, brother! No way! No, I'm-I'm in support of this. 662 00:34:39,704 --> 00:34:42,414 再讓你相一場 我們再去排查炸彈 Get one more speed date, okay, then we gotta find that bomb. 663 00:34:42,415 --> 00:34:44,250 這坑爹呢 Ah, this sucks. 664 00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:48,253 {\an8}wonder boy: 神奇小子 動畫裏稱讚羅賓的話 665 00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:48,253 小提示 男人點 奇跡多 知道吧? Uh, little tip. Uh, less boy, more wonder, right? 666 00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:49,296 這點子好 Ah, that's very clever. 667 00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:51,464 - 亮瞎她們! - 好 多謝 - Dazzle them! - Yeah, okay. Thanks. 668 00:34:51,465 --> 00:34:52,466 嗨 Hi. 669 00:34:52,717 --> 00:34:55,427 - 嗨 - 我是洛伊斯 洛伊斯·萊恩 - Oh, hi. - Lois. Lois Lane. 670 00:34:55,428 --> 00:34:57,471 不 我認識 我... No, I... l know. I've... I've... 671 00:34:58,014 --> 00:35:00,682 我是羅賓 我們以前見過幾次 it's... it's me, Robin. We... We've met several times. 672 00:35:00,683 --> 00:35:04,227 - 哪個羅賓? - 羅賓 就是羅賓 - Robin what? - Ro... Robin. That's it. 673 00:35:04,228 --> 00:35:06,438 我幫忙從萊克斯·盧瑟手裏救你出來 I helped save you from Lex Luthor. 674 00:35:06,439 --> 00:35:07,480 不記得了 Sorry. 675 00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:09,524 你說 "我永生不忘你的救命之恩" You were like, "I'll never forget this as long as I live." 676 00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:10,776 還是沒印象 Sorry again. 677 00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:13,486 - 我以為你在和超人約會 - 沒有 - I thought you were dating Superman. - No, no. 678 00:35:13,487 --> 00:35:16,406 - 我們六個月前分手了 - 我不知道 - We broke up about six months ago. - I didn't-l didn't know that. 679 00:35:16,407 --> 00:35:18,492 - 從那以後他就一直跟蹤我 - 真的? - He's been stalking me ever since. - Really? 680 00:35:19,410 --> 00:35:21,662 昨晚 我從我臥室窗望去 Last night, I look out my bedroom window, 681 00:35:22,038 --> 00:35:24,122 他就在窗口飄著呢 and there he is just floating there, 682 00:35:24,123 --> 00:35:27,542 就在那兒擼管自慰! just stroking that nasty little curl, and masturbating! 683 00:35:27,543 --> 00:35:30,337 然後射到我窗戶上! Blew his wad all over my window! 684 00:35:30,338 --> 00:35:31,718 窗戶都被他弄壞了! He broke the window! 685 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,214 從他那... The, the... From the... 686 00:35:33,215 --> 00:35:36,218 他的精液像獵槍一樣兇猛 Uh, his jizz is like a shotgun blast! 687 00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:38,059 你知道他頭髮上塗的粘狀物嗎? You know that shiny stuff in his hair? 688 00:35:38,060 --> 00:35:38,763 那可不是髮膠 It's not hair gel. 689 00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:43,100 - 洛伊斯! 天啊 - 不會吧! - Lois! Oh, my God! - Oh, no! 690 00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:44,269 真高興見到你! Nice to see you! 691 00:35:44,270 --> 00:35:46,186 很高興被你見到啊 真是開心啊! Nice to be seen! Oh, my goodness! 692 00:35:46,187 --> 00:35:47,187 別 我們在... No, no, no. Yeah, we're in the... 693 00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:49,230 - 你們認識? - 是啊 我們是同事 - Do you know each other? - Yeah, we work together. 694 00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:50,483 - 是嗎? - 超人怎麼樣了? - You do? - Hey, how's Superman? 695 00:35:51,525 --> 00:35:53,360 我現在給他個電話 實際上 我得... I'm gonna give him a call right now, actually. I need... 696 00:35:53,361 --> 00:35:55,362 - 不要 別這麼干 - 才不 這就聯繫他 - No, no! Don't do that! - Oh, no, I'm gonna do it. 697 00:35:55,363 --> 00:35:57,030 - 蝙蝠俠 不要 求你啦 - 已經接通啦 - Batman, don't. Please. Please. - It's already ringing. 698 00:35:57,031 --> 00:35:59,783 超人! 在幹嗎呢 兄弟 我是黑暗騎士 Hey, Soups! What's up, brother! It's the Dark Knight. 699 00:35:59,784 --> 00:36:01,326 老兄 我剛好想起你 Hey, man, I was just thinking about you here... 700 00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:03,119 因為我正和洛伊斯在一起呢 cause I'm sitting with Lois... 701 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,372 她正和我小弟羅賓約會呢 and she's on a date with my boy, Robin. 702 00:36:05,373 --> 00:36:07,457 - 不 - 他掛了 掉線啦 - No! - Oh, he hung up. I lost him. 703 00:36:07,458 --> 00:36:10,293 離洛伊斯遠點 否則我用我的熱力... Stay away from Lois or I'll use my heat vision... 704 00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:14,090 把你兩蛋蛋烤得不像樣 to fuse your balls into one big ridiculous uniball. 705 00:36:14,131 --> 00:36:15,340 超人 你誤會了 Superman, you don't understand. 706 00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:17,635 我不是來這泡你女友的 那才是瘋了! I'm not here to hit on your girlfriend. That's crazy! 707 00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:20,220 蝙蝠俠和我是臥底 我們在找炸彈 Batman and I are undercover and we're looking for a bomb. 708 00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:21,471 炸彈? Bomb? 709 00:36:21,472 --> 00:36:23,556 我才不管什麼炸彈的事 I don't give two super-shits about a bomb. 710 00:36:23,557 --> 00:36:27,770 只要我和洛伊斯嘿咻 就能容光煥發 As long as I'm balls-deep in Lois, I'm solid gold. 711 00:36:29,063 --> 00:36:31,273 離洛伊斯遠點 賤人 Stay away from Lois, bitch! 712 00:36:31,732 --> 00:36:33,317 - 該死的! - 他就那樣! - Goddammit! - That's his thing! 713 00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:35,610 不是 我告訴他 No, so I told him, you know, 714 00:36:35,611 --> 00:36:37,278 "我們要去打擊犯罪 兄弟 所以..." "I mean, we're gonna be fighting crime, buddy, so..." 715 00:36:37,279 --> 00:36:38,321 噢 他來了 Oh, there he is. 716 00:36:38,322 --> 00:36:39,531 "你應該穿上褲子 " "Uh, you know, you should put on some pants." 717 00:36:39,532 --> 00:36:41,324 但是他就喜歡他那裝束 所以 But he liked the costume the way it is, so, 718 00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:42,805 所以 拿他沒辦法啦 孩子都那樣 you know, what are you gonna do. Kids. 719 00:36:43,035 --> 00:36:45,078 - 星期四? - 沒錯 - Well... Thursday? - Thursday it is! 720 00:36:45,079 --> 00:36:46,538 - 回見 - 好 - See you then. - All right, now. 721 00:36:46,539 --> 00:36:49,542 美腿啊 And, nice legs. 722 00:36:50,584 --> 00:36:52,585 是你讓我穿成這樣的 是他讓我這樣穿的! You make me wear this. He makes me wear this outfit! 723 00:36:52,586 --> 00:36:54,547 不公平啊! 我不喜歡穿成這樣! So unfair! I hate it! 724 00:36:56,590 --> 00:36:58,425 她真有趣! 好啦 約會結束啦 我們走 She's a hoot! All right, that was your date. Let's go. 725 00:36:58,426 --> 00:37:01,553 - 胡扯 真根本不算! - 怎麼不算了? - Bullcrap! That doesn't count! - What do you mean that doesn't count? 726 00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:02,804 有妹紙 那就是約會啦 That was a girl, this was a date. 727 00:37:02,805 --> 00:37:04,606 現在 動起來 找炸彈去吧 Now, let's boogie. We gotta go find that bomb. 728 00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:07,350 求你啦 讓我再來一次 那次不算 拜託 Please, just let me do one more. That doesn't count. Please. 729 00:37:07,351 --> 00:37:09,602 天啊 你這孩子 來吧 坐下 Oh, my God, you're such a baby. Go! Sit down. Fine. 730 00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:10,687 - 真好! - 好 開始吧 - Yes! - Fine. Go ahead. 731 00:37:10,688 --> 00:37:12,397 玩得開心 但這次你不能單槍匹馬 Have fun. But you're not gonna do it on your own. 732 00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:13,606 - 把這塞你耳朵裏 - 什麼東西? - Pop that in your ear. - What's that? 733 00:37:13,607 --> 00:37:15,692 我的任務就是藏在桌子下 What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get underneath the table, 734 00:37:15,693 --> 00:37:19,612 在下面教你說話 幫你搞定 hide down there and feed you lines to help bag this next gal. 735 00:37:19,613 --> 00:37:21,239 明白 就像電影<大鼻子情圣> Oh, right, like Cyrano de Bergerac. 736 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:23,158 我不知道那個電影 更像是<爱上罗珊> I don't know what that is. It's more like Roxanne. 737 00:37:23,159 --> 00:37:25,452 但我更想我自己搞定 Okay, but look, I... I'd really rather do this on my own. 738 00:37:25,453 --> 00:37:27,537 我聽到了 我也很是欣賞你的話 Okay, and I hear you, and I appreciate what you're saying, 739 00:37:27,538 --> 00:37:29,790 - 但是 我還是決定幫忙 - 拜託不要 - but I, you know, I'm gonna do it. - Please don't. 740 00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:31,363 我決定做 I'm gonna do it. 741 00:37:31,364 --> 00:37:33,126 蝙蝠俠 不要啊 拜託 不要 Batman, don't. Please, please, don't... 742 00:37:33,127 --> 00:37:36,338 很抱歉 我遲到了 衛生間人真多 Hi. Sorry, sorry I'm late. There's a line in the bathroom. 743 00:37:36,630 --> 00:37:37,714 你好 我是女超人 Hi. I'm Supergirl. 744 00:37:37,715 --> 00:37:39,675 - 我的名字... - 我叫羅賓 - My name... - I'm Robin. 745 00:37:40,593 --> 00:37:41,594 你好 我叫羅賓 Hi, I'm Robin. 746 00:37:43,554 --> 00:37:44,679 你打哪來? Um, so where you from? 747 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:45,891 那 你打哪來? So, where you from? 748 00:37:45,892 --> 00:37:47,224 我... 克萊普頓星 I... Um, Krypton. 749 00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:51,060 克雷普頓 哪... 那個 Krypton, eh. Where... That's, that's, uh... 750 00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,562 - 媽呀 - 媽的! - Oh, shit. - Oh, shit! 751 00:37:52,563 --> 00:37:53,691 兄弟 我看到她下面啦 Dude, I can see her snatch. 752 00:37:53,692 --> 00:37:54,647 兄弟 我可以... Dude, I can sn... 753 00:37:54,648 --> 00:37:57,192 天啊! 無法置信這大尺寸啊 Oh, my God! I can't believe the size of this thing. 754 00:37:57,193 --> 00:38:01,654 這他媽的像片巨大的麥地 深不可測啊 It's like a giant fucking cornfield. It's enormous down here. 755 00:38:01,655 --> 00:38:05,241 瘋啦 看著這個 我... 感覺隨時 It's crazy. Look at that. I... I... I feel like at any moment, 756 00:38:05,242 --> 00:38:07,516 赤腳喬·傑克遜可能從中跑出來 Shoeless Joe Jackson could walk out of it 757 00:38:07,517 --> 00:38:08,578 和我一起玩傳球 and I could play catch with him. 758 00:38:08,579 --> 00:38:11,179 克萊普頓星 感覺是個好地方 Krypton. I... I hear it's really nice. 759 00:38:11,180 --> 00:38:12,665 我從沒去過... I... I have never been... 760 00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:15,502 你沒聽說太陽新星毀了我們整個種族嗎? You didn't hear that the Sun supernova and destroyed our entire race? 761 00:38:15,503 --> 00:38:17,003 我想要用它洗盤子 I wanna wash dishes with it. 762 00:38:17,004 --> 00:38:19,422 是嗎? 我沒... Did it? I did not... 763 00:38:19,423 --> 00:38:22,133 下面真是個大場面啊 It's a huge, bushy catastrophe down here. 764 00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:24,594 {\an8}西恩·潘與麥當娜結過婚 曾家暴 765 00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:24,594 感覺西恩·潘真該幫忙打理下 Feel like Sean Penn should do a benefit for this thing. It's... 766 00:38:24,595 --> 00:38:27,472 什麼? 你能聽到他說話 是吧? What? Oh, no. You can hear him, can't you? 767 00:38:27,473 --> 00:38:28,599 當然 能聽到 Yeah, I can hear him. 768 00:38:30,226 --> 00:38:32,520 我也看到蝙蝠俠在桌底下 I can also see Batman underneath the table. 769 00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:34,437 你有透視眼 我懂 Cause of the x-ray vision. Of course. 770 00:38:34,438 --> 00:38:36,584 不是 我直接就可以看到他 No, I can just see him. 771 00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:38,400 這是咖啡桌 過於明顯了 It's a cafe table. I mean, it's really obvious. 772 00:38:39,610 --> 00:38:40,694 - 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi. 773 00:38:41,695 --> 00:38:44,698 關於你家人的死我很是抱歉... Ah, dude. I'm so sorry about your family dying and... 774 00:38:46,283 --> 00:38:48,702 兄弟 那讓我回到了七十年代啊 Oh, man! That took me back to the seventies, huh? 775 00:38:49,703 --> 00:38:52,705 等下 看到我們要找的罪犯 就是那企鵝 Hold on. There's our culprit. It's the Penguin. 776 00:38:52,706 --> 00:38:54,666 恕我失陪 我要去做些該做的俠義事 Excuse me. I'm gonna go do some Batman-ing. 777 00:38:54,667 --> 00:38:56,168 你要...我幫忙嗎? Do you need any... Can I help? 778 00:38:59,630 --> 00:39:02,007 用手套撿起來有點困難 給你 Oh, it's hard to pick up with gloves. There you go. 779 00:39:02,216 --> 00:39:03,764 不好意思 小甜心 你好啊 Excuse me, sweetie. How you doing. 780 00:39:03,765 --> 00:39:04,717 你介意走遠點嗎? You mind fucking off for a little bit? 781 00:39:04,718 --> 00:39:06,427 多謝 感激不盡 Thank you. I appreciate it. Thanks. 782 00:39:06,428 --> 00:39:07,720 - 回見 好公民 - 好大膽子啊你! - See you later, citizen. - How dare you! 783 00:39:07,721 --> 00:39:10,724 你個婊子養的! 炸彈在哪 你個肥仔? You son of a bitch! Where's the bomb, you fat fucker? 784 00:39:11,225 --> 00:39:13,435 - 嗨 蠢貨! - 糟糕 - Hey! Asshole! - Oh, shit. 785 00:39:13,644 --> 00:39:15,562 你們在自以為是什麼人? 純爺們? What do you think you are? Some big man? 786 00:39:15,563 --> 00:39:17,480 欺負個小胖子? Picking on a little fat guy? 787 00:39:17,481 --> 00:39:19,650 放輕鬆! 這位是企鵝 我們的老對頭 Take it easy! That's the Penguin. That's what I do. 788 00:39:20,484 --> 00:39:21,734 你幹嘛不聯繫我? Why didn't you call me? 789 00:39:21,735 --> 00:39:22,986 我...不是...我... I... No... I... 790 00:39:22,987 --> 00:39:24,738 你說過你會打給我的 You said that you were gonna call me. 791 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:26,417 等下 我沒打嗎? Wait a minute. Did I not? 792 00:39:26,418 --> 00:39:28,576 我撥了號的 我沒按接通嗎? I know I dialed a number... Did I not hit "send"? 793 00:39:29,368 --> 00:39:32,997 你說過無論怎樣你都會對我不離不棄的 You said that you were gonna stick by me no matter what happened. 794 00:39:33,497 --> 00:39:38,084 然後你的小蝙蝠避孕套破了 你就消失了 And then your little Bat-condom breaks, and then you just disappear! 795 00:39:38,085 --> 00:39:42,464 你明白作為一個神奇女俠要獨自去搞 Do you know what it's like going to Planned Parenthood by yourself, 796 00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:44,508 計劃生育是什麼感受嗎? when you're Wonder Woman? 797 00:39:44,758 --> 00:39:46,509 好吧 談話主題不是那麼浪漫 Okay. Not very romantic talk. 798 00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:49,221 {\an8} 羅伊訴韋德案: 美國墮胎法案 799 00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:49,221 相了次親竟扯出墮胎法案 Roe v. Wade here at a speed dating situation. 800 00:39:49,471 --> 00:39:51,082 聽著 我那時正在打擊犯罪行為 Uh, look, I was fighting crime! 801 00:39:51,083 --> 00:39:52,348 問羅賓 羅賓快為我擔保 Ask Robin. Robin, vouch for me. 802 00:39:52,349 --> 00:39:53,821 滾完床單他就會哭 你知道嗎? He cries after sex. Do you know that? 803 00:39:53,822 --> 00:39:54,601 我幹嘛要知道? Why would I know that? 804 00:39:54,602 --> 00:39:57,562 哭的跟個小孩 在滾完床單 你說什麼來著? Like a baby. After sex, what do you say? 805 00:39:57,563 --> 00:40:00,607 "噢 我的靈魂真是黑暗" 就因為你小時候 "Oh, my soul's so dark." Because you saw some bats... 806 00:40:00,608 --> 00:40:02,567 看見些變態(蝙蝠)? 你個娘炮! when you were little? You pussy! 807 00:40:02,568 --> 00:40:05,487 看這啦 忙著把妹拉郎的諸位 Attention, Gotham City speed daters: 808 00:40:06,614 --> 00:40:08,197 他媽的他是怎麼過去的? How the fuck did he get over there? 809 00:40:08,198 --> 00:40:11,284 我這辦法真是高明 我不是來相親的 It was all a clever ruse. I'm not speed dating. 810 00:40:11,285 --> 00:40:13,287 某些人應該記得 我婚後生活美滿 Some of you should remember I'm happily married. 811 00:40:13,704 --> 00:40:15,747 - 對哦 - 我婚禮你們都有去 - That's right! - You were all there at the wedding. 812 00:40:15,748 --> 00:40:17,118 這炸彈還在我胸上捆著呢 Okay, bomb strapped to my chest. 813 00:40:17,119 --> 00:40:17,999 對哦 無論怎樣 Oh, yes. In any case, 814 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,251 你們得給我一大筆錢 you all have to give me some unimaginable sum of money... 815 00:40:20,252 --> 00:40:22,588 否則我就炸死這女超人 or else I'm going to blow up Supergirl with this bomb. 816 00:40:24,465 --> 00:40:26,299 想不到吧! 引爆裝置在這傘裏 Dat dat dat dat! The detonator is in this umbrella. 817 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:27,635 - 去搞定它 - 不 你去搞定 - Cool it. - No, you cool it. 818 00:40:28,636 --> 00:40:30,637 我的好眼睛! 你人呢? My non-monocled eye! Where are you? 819 00:40:30,638 --> 00:40:31,764 解除! Disarm! 820 00:40:33,057 --> 00:40:34,266 贊! Yes! 821 00:40:36,644 --> 00:40:38,395 - 你還好嗎? - 是的 - Are you okay? - I think so. 822 00:40:38,812 --> 00:40:41,023 是你救了我! You saved my life! 823 00:40:41,607 --> 00:40:43,067 我只是做我應做的 Just-Just doing my job. 824 00:40:44,026 --> 00:40:45,444 吻她 Kiss. Kiss her. 825 00:40:47,071 --> 00:40:49,031 撬開她的嘴 舌吻 Open her mouth and touch tongues. 826 00:40:54,078 --> 00:40:56,037 把你的舌頭伸進她的嘴裏 Put your tongue inside her mouth... 827 00:40:56,038 --> 00:40:58,624 然後慢慢引誘她的舌頭進入你的嘴裏 and that'll coax her tongue to go into your mouth! 828 00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:03,045 對! 摸咪咪 Yeah! You, uh, squeeze her boobies. 829 00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:04,672 對的 摸屁股 Yeah, and touch her butt. 830 00:41:06,048 --> 00:41:08,050 - 這很有愛吧? - 好有愛啊 - Doesn't that look nice? - It looks so nice. 831 00:41:08,258 --> 00:41:11,053 等下 不要這麼快! Oh, yeah. Hold on! Not so fast! 832 00:41:14,598 --> 00:41:16,057 噢 天啊! Oh, God! 833 00:41:16,058 --> 00:41:17,476 - 謎妖! - 謎妖! - Riddler! - Riddler! 834 00:41:18,352 --> 00:41:20,437 沒錯!就是謎妖! That is right! The Riddler! 835 00:41:20,771 --> 00:41:22,787 這計劃就惡毒在借口拆除炸彈 In a diabolical scheme to get Robin and me 836 00:41:22,788 --> 00:41:24,649 讓我跟羅賓來這裏參加相親 to this speed date to stop a bomb, 837 00:41:24,650 --> 00:41:29,650 其實只是想把引誘羅賓到某個破倉庫裏 only to lure Robin away to some seedy warehouse... 838 00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:33,449 然後你想把他掛在一個填滿圖釘的大桶上 where you're gonna hang him above a vat filled with thumbtacks... 839 00:41:33,450 --> 00:41:35,661 或者裝滿蜥蜴什麼的操蛋玩意兒! or lizards or some fucking bullshit! 840 00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:37,704 你不會得逞的 小癟三! Well it didn't work, muchacho! 841 00:41:37,705 --> 00:41:39,330 太厲害了 你怎麼做到的? That was amazing. How did you do that? 842 00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:41,374 你怎麼看出來她是假扮的? I mean, how'd you know that she was a fake? 843 00:41:41,375 --> 00:41:43,167 那種陰毛尺寸只便於做一件事 Bush that size is only good for one thing, 844 00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:45,712 就是藏好他的老二! 你懂我的意思嗎? and that one thing is hidin' the wang! You know what I'm saying? 845 00:41:45,713 --> 00:41:46,804 等一下 先讓我搞清楚情況 Wait. Let me get this straight. 846 00:41:46,805 --> 00:41:47,797 所以你早就知道了嗎? So you knew all the way back then? 847 00:41:47,798 --> 00:41:49,018 你早就知道她是個男的? You knew that she was a dude? 848 00:41:49,019 --> 00:41:49,716 我一直都知道 Whole time. 849 00:41:49,717 --> 00:41:51,551 為... 為什麼你還讓我親她? Wh... Why'd you make me kiss her? 850 00:41:51,552 --> 00:41:53,512 ...他 這檔子事 ...Him. This. 851 00:41:53,554 --> 00:41:54,595 我不知道 I don't know. 852 00:41:54,596 --> 00:41:57,683 我猜是今早的床氣爆棚吧 I guess I woke up this morning with a little case of the fuck-arounds. 853 00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:00,102 我就是在找樂子 兄弟! 嗷! You know I'm just having fun. My buddy! Woo! 854 00:42:19,747 --> 00:42:21,206 還記得這樣的場景嗎? Remember this? 855 00:42:22,541 --> 00:42:23,709 很討人厭是嗎? Ugly isn't it? 856 00:42:30,132 --> 00:42:31,717 請想想他們的感受 But think how they feel. 857 00:42:32,968 --> 00:42:35,971 為了讓你生活得更好 不圖回報地工作 Working without thanks to make your life better. 858 00:42:47,733 --> 00:42:51,361 孤獨 沒人關愛 常受傷害 Lonely, unloved, hurt. 859 00:42:57,743 --> 00:43:01,163 承受著身體 言語 情感上的虐待... Physical, verbal, emotional abuse... 860 00:43:01,747 --> 00:43:03,999 去完成你想做的事 to get what we want done. 861 00:43:07,503 --> 00:43:09,713 你難道不明白他們已經盡力了嗎? Can't you see they're doing their best? 862 00:43:17,221 --> 00:43:19,722 他們不想佔領你的世界 They're not trying to take over your world. 863 00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:22,976 他們只希望在你心裏能有一席之地 They're just trying to find a little place in your hearts. 864 00:43:23,727 --> 00:43:28,023 請謹記 機器中住滿了孩子 Remember, machines, they're full of kids. 865 00:43:35,572 --> 00:43:36,990 夥計 點那個按鈕 Dude, click the button. 866 00:43:38,158 --> 00:43:39,493 不要點那個按鈕 Do not click the button. 867 00:43:40,244 --> 00:43:42,996 - 你他媽是誰啊? - 我是牛頭怪 - Who the fuck are you? - I am the Minotaur. 868 00:43:43,205 --> 00:43:45,039 你們正在我的迷宮裏 You are in my maze. 869 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,208 你知道在哪能找到電影四十三嗎? Do you know where we can find Movie 43? 870 00:43:47,209 --> 00:43:50,254 電影四十三? 電影四十三? Movie 43? Movie 43? 871 00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:55,175 你做好腦袋被剁成小碎塊的準備了嗎? Are you prepared to have your brains butchered into tiny pieces? 872 00:43:55,259 --> 00:44:00,055 你做好被飢餓的老鼠啃掉眼珠 Are you prepared to have a starving rat nibble out your eyeballs, 873 00:44:00,097 --> 00:44:05,090 還要被憤怒的發情公狼干的準備了嗎? and then have the holes fucked by angry, thick-dicked wolves? 874 00:44:05,102 --> 00:44:06,293 哥們兒 冷靜點 Dude, calm down. 875 00:44:06,294 --> 00:44:08,230 我覺得... 你只是誤會了 I think you're... I think you're just confused. 876 00:44:08,647 --> 00:44:11,275 我們是在講電影四十三 你都沒聽說過吧 We're... we're talking about Movie 43. You've never heard of that. 877 00:44:12,025 --> 00:44:14,194 噢耶 找到她啦 Oh, yeah. She's here. 878 00:44:14,653 --> 00:44:17,030 我覺得我們真是有緣 I think we have a connection. 879 00:44:19,283 --> 00:44:20,116 據我們所知 It is the one movie 880 00:44:20,117 --> 00:44:22,618 這是一部可以使社會文明完全崩塌的電影 that can bring down society as we know it. 881 00:44:22,619 --> 00:44:25,496 不 哥們兒 它不是這樣的 我保證 No, dude. That's something different. I guarantee it. 882 00:44:25,497 --> 00:44:30,042 我已立誓阻止任何人觀看這部電影 I have taken a vow to keep anybody from viewing this film. 883 00:44:30,043 --> 00:44:31,085 哥們兒 哥們兒 Dude, dude. 884 00:44:31,086 --> 00:44:34,464 這傢伙說的是真的 他用的防火牆我從沒見過 This guy's for real. He's protected by firewalls I've never even seen. 885 00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:36,048 我們要按這個按鈕 We gotta click this button. 886 00:44:36,049 --> 00:44:38,552 不要按下去 Do not click the button. 887 00:44:39,303 --> 00:44:41,263 不要按... Do not click the... 888 00:44:42,556 --> 00:44:43,724 去死吧! Suck it! 889 00:44:53,108 --> 00:44:55,292 泰勒·迪·薩托 十五歲 Tyler De Soto. Fifteen. 890 00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:57,112 住在弗羅裏達聖露茜港 Port St. Lucie, Florida. 891 00:44:57,279 --> 00:44:59,072 他只失去了一根手指 He only lost a finger. 892 00:45:05,287 --> 00:45:06,496 太可怕了 It's horrific. 893 00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:10,082 可我還是不清楚有什麼問題 I'm still not seeing what the problem is, though. 894 00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:11,126 布萊恩? Brian? 895 00:45:11,251 --> 00:45:15,297 愛寶搭載了最先進的3.2Ghz處理器 The iBabe has an advanced 3.2 gigahertz processor. 896 00:45:15,339 --> 00:45:18,674 上面預留有散熱口 其中配置了一台高效 We left an opening for a vent and then we placed a highly-efficient, 897 00:45:18,675 --> 00:45:23,430 大馬力的微型風扇 super powerful micro-fan in the opening. 898 00:45:24,139 --> 00:45:27,266 - 然後呢? - 散熱口就在她的 - And? - The vent is in her, 899 00:45:27,267 --> 00:45:28,309 下腹部 Lower quadrant. 900 00:45:28,310 --> 00:45:30,061 私處 Vagi-port. 901 00:45:30,062 --> 00:45:31,687 - 陰道 - 私處 - Vagina. - Vagi-port. 902 00:45:31,688 --> 00:45:33,147 散熱口就在陰道部位 The vent is in the vagina. 903 00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:35,608 相當一部分的年輕買家 A certain percentage of our younger demographic... 904 00:45:35,609 --> 00:45:39,154 把那什麼... 你知道的 插到散熱口裏 are sticking their you-know-what in the vent. 905 00:45:40,072 --> 00:45:41,155 我不知道 No, I don't know what. 906 00:45:41,156 --> 00:45:43,575 孩子們把陰莖插到了散熱口裏 Kids are sticking their penises in the vent. 907 00:45:44,076 --> 00:45:46,745 然後風扇就會把陰莖割碎 The fan then mangles their penises. 908 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:48,120 真噁心! Disgusting! 909 00:45:48,121 --> 00:45:50,539 先生 愛寶是一台... Sir, the iBabe is a... 910 00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:53,125 高保真音樂播放器 High fidelity music player. 911 00:45:53,126 --> 00:45:56,546 沒錯 但它在視覺上和觸覺上都像極了裸女 Yes, it also looks and feels exactly like a naked woman. 912 00:45:57,381 --> 00:46:01,593 生理上講 青少年會不由地被裸女吸引 Teenage boys are physically attracted to naked women. 913 00:46:01,718 --> 00:46:04,137 我們的調研結果並非如此 先生 Our research doesn't support that, sir. 914 00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:07,724 至少 我們要在包裝盒上貼個警告標識 Look, at the very least, we need to put a warning sticker on the box. 915 00:46:08,350 --> 00:46:09,815 其他Mp3都沒有 Other MP3 players don't have a warning 916 00:46:09,816 --> 00:46:12,562 "不准和它做愛"的警告 是吧? not to have sex with it. Right? 917 00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:15,983 薯片包裝上不會貼著這樣的警告 A bag of potato chips doesn't have a warning, 918 00:46:16,149 --> 00:46:18,610 "請不要操薯片" Please don't fuck these potato chips. 919 00:46:19,194 --> 00:46:20,696 我是瘋了嗎? Am I crazy here? 920 00:46:21,154 --> 00:46:23,365 真想不到會有人這樣做 None of us could have seen this one coming. 921 00:46:23,407 --> 00:46:24,407 我會 I did. 922 00:46:24,408 --> 00:46:26,576 {\an8}艾琳·布勞科維奇: 出演電影<永不妥协> 923 00:46:24,408 --> 00:46:26,576 放輕鬆 死較真兒 Take it easy, Erin Brockovich. 924 00:46:29,121 --> 00:46:31,414 研發小組 你們做過大量試驗 R and D team. You did extensive testing here. 925 00:46:31,415 --> 00:46:34,041 各位預料下 會有人破壞冷卻系統嗎? Did you anticipate anybody breaching the cooling system? 926 00:46:34,042 --> 00:46:35,209 有沒有反對意見? Any red flags? 927 00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:36,378 戴夫? Dave? 928 00:46:39,172 --> 00:46:43,760 而且 我們把問題分解成了三步 Also, we've broken down our problem into three steps. 929 00:46:43,969 --> 00:46:46,972 第一 孩子們購買愛寶 Step 1: Kid buys iBabe. 930 00:46:48,348 --> 00:46:51,351 第二 孩子們和愛寶亂搞 Step 2: Kid fucks iBabe. 931 00:46:52,185 --> 00:46:56,940 第三 孩子們的老二被切壞了 控告我們 Step 3: Kid mangles dick and sues us. 932 00:46:58,275 --> 00:47:03,213 我們的目標是 杜絕第二步和第三步 Our goal is to eliminate step two and step three. 933 00:47:07,367 --> 00:47:09,786 現在我知道問題出在哪了 Now I know what the problem is. 934 00:47:11,371 --> 00:47:13,086 為什麼不把風扇移走? Why don't we just move the fan? 935 00:47:13,087 --> 00:47:14,958 為什麼不放在她的耳朵裏? Why don't we just put it in her ear? 936 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,793 不不不不不不 先生 No. No, no, no, no, no, sir. 937 00:47:17,419 --> 00:47:20,421 我們花了兩年才取得這些成果 Uh, my team spent two years doing the impossible, 938 00:47:20,422 --> 00:47:24,216 你這樣幾乎就是命令我們從頭開始 and you're pretty much just telling us to go back and start from scratch. 939 00:47:24,217 --> 00:47:26,385 你懂的 就是打自己的臉 You know, to go fuck ourselves! 940 00:47:26,386 --> 00:47:30,222 聽我說 愛寶重達一百多磅 知道嗎? Okay, look. The iBabe weighs over a hundred pounds, okay? 941 00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:33,184 把它帶到公共場合是違法的 It's basically illegal to take it out in public. 942 00:47:33,185 --> 00:47:36,312 婦女組織正在呼籲聯合抵制我們公司 Women's organizations are calling for the boycott of our entire company. 943 00:47:36,313 --> 00:47:38,043 我們的股價直線下跌 Our stock is plummeting 944 00:47:38,044 --> 00:47:40,984 而且孩子們的小弟弟時刻都可能受重傷 and kids' dicks are getting horribly mangled! 945 00:47:43,028 --> 00:47:44,404 進來 進來 進來 Uh, come in, come in, come in. 946 00:47:44,446 --> 00:47:49,241 先生 請允許我為您介紹特版愛寶 Sir, may I introduce you to the iBabe Special Edition. 947 00:47:49,242 --> 00:47:50,452 天啊 Oh, my God. 948 00:47:53,497 --> 00:47:56,415 更快的處理器 雙倍內存 Faster processing, double storage capacity, 949 00:47:56,416 --> 00:47:58,460 還有這優雅的外形 and how about that elegant finish. 950 00:48:00,295 --> 00:48:02,297 真是太美了 太美了 太美了! Just gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous! 951 00:48:02,464 --> 00:48:04,173 - 恭喜你! - 謝謝 - Congratulations! - Thank you. 952 00:48:04,174 --> 00:48:08,053 終於可以為顧客提供膚色選擇了 Finally we can give our customers a choice of color. 953 00:48:09,262 --> 00:48:12,432 天啊 我怎麼覺得它爛到不能再爛了呢 Oh, my God. Just when I thought it couldn't get more offensive. 954 00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:16,019 饒了我吧 Oh, for Christ's sake. 955 00:48:18,271 --> 00:48:19,481 啊 現在我懂了 Yeah. Now I understand. 956 00:48:31,787 --> 00:48:33,288 愛寶 只可遠觀 不可褻玩 957 00:48:33,787 --> 00:48:35,288 夠了! 夠了! Enough! Enough! 958 00:48:35,455 --> 00:48:38,332 你們想要什麼? 錢? 女人? What do you want? Money? Women? 959 00:48:38,333 --> 00:48:41,253 不要再找電影四十三了 Just stop looking for Movie 43. 960 00:48:41,461 --> 00:48:42,712 嗨! 你們是誰? Hey! Who are you? 961 00:48:43,255 --> 00:48:46,298 電影四十三 電影四十三在哪? Movie 43. Where is Movie 43? 962 00:48:46,299 --> 00:48:48,301 我不知道你在說什麼 I don't know what you're talking about. 963 00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,637 電影四十三在哪? 不許說謊! Where is Movie 43? Don't lie! 964 00:48:51,638 --> 00:48:54,015 放開我! 別碰我! 不要! Get away from me! Get off me! No! 965 00:48:54,766 --> 00:48:56,309 他媽的! The fuck, man! 966 00:48:58,061 --> 00:49:00,563 那麼你們知道一定電影四十三在哪裏 So you know where Movie 43 is. 967 00:49:00,564 --> 00:49:01,605 不! No! 968 00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:04,400 能讓你預見未來的電影 The movie that allows you to see into the future. 969 00:49:04,401 --> 00:49:06,569 不要! 它會毀了全社會! No! It will destroy society! 970 00:49:06,570 --> 00:49:09,322 按照協議 會使死人復活的! He will unleash the dead up in protocol! 971 00:49:09,531 --> 00:49:12,284 史蒂夫·施瑞德跟你說過這些嗎? Did Stevie Schraeder tell you any of this? 972 00:49:12,325 --> 00:49:14,494 史蒂夫·施瑞德是誰? Who is this Stevie Schroeder? 973 00:49:14,744 --> 00:49:16,538 史蒂夫·施瑞德是誰? Who is Stevie Schroeder? 974 00:49:16,580 --> 00:49:18,386 史蒂夫·施瑞德是誰? Who is this Stevie Schraeder? 975 00:49:18,387 --> 00:49:20,332 我不認識史蒂夫·施瑞德! I don't know Stevie Schraeder! 976 00:49:20,333 --> 00:49:21,500 - 你在說謊! - 搞什麼? - You lie! - What the fuck? 977 00:49:21,501 --> 00:49:23,085 操! Fuck you! 978 00:49:23,086 --> 00:49:24,161 史蒂夫·施瑞德是誰? Who is Stevie Schroeder? 979 00:49:24,162 --> 00:49:25,629 快告訴我史蒂夫·施瑞德是誰! You tell me where Stevie Schroeder is! 980 00:49:25,630 --> 00:49:27,256 那混賬是誰? Who is this motherfucker? 981 00:49:27,257 --> 00:49:29,342 媽的 他是我駕駛課的同學! He's a kid in my fucking Driver's Ed class! 982 00:49:29,676 --> 00:49:31,798 J.j.和巴克斯特 You will find us Movie 43, 983 00:49:31,799 --> 00:49:34,346 你們要為我找到電影四十三 J.J. and Baxter. 984 00:49:34,347 --> 00:49:35,807 麻痹的 What the fuck, man! 985 00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:38,268 繼續找! Keep looking! 986 00:49:38,643 --> 00:49:40,770 - 我在找! - 不要找! - I'm looking! - Don't look! 987 00:49:42,772 --> 00:49:45,775 我想去參加薩米成人禮 在等答覆 I'm, uh, RSVP...ing to Sammy's Bar Mitzvah. 988 00:49:46,443 --> 00:49:47,777 我也是 Yeah, me too. 989 00:49:48,445 --> 00:49:50,780 只去聚會 不去成人禮現場 The party, not the service. 990 00:49:51,364 --> 00:49:54,367 我媽逼我兩個都參加 太遜了! My mom always makes me go to both. Sucks. 991 00:49:56,328 --> 00:49:57,370 是啊 Yeah. 992 00:50:16,389 --> 00:50:17,557 哇哦! Yeah! 993 00:50:18,141 --> 00:50:21,228 內森這次終於找到妹子約會了! Nathan on a date for once! 994 00:50:21,394 --> 00:50:23,563 天啊 米奇 閉嘴! Jesus, Mikey, shut up! 995 00:50:23,605 --> 00:50:25,860 什麼? 媽媽讓我看著你們的 What? Mom told me to watch you guys. 996 00:50:25,861 --> 00:50:27,150 我只是按她說的做 I'm just doing my job. 997 00:50:28,151 --> 00:50:29,569 我是認真的 米奇 走開! I mean it, Mikey. Leave! 998 00:50:31,488 --> 00:50:32,697 我在盯著你哦! I'm watching you. 999 00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:37,410 抱歉 我哥哥是個白癡 Sorry, my brother's an idiot. 1000 00:50:38,161 --> 00:50:39,496 沒事的 Whatever. 1001 00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:47,420 - 這有衛生間嗎? - 當然 就在那後面 - You have a bathroom? - Totally. It's right back there. 1002 00:50:58,431 --> 00:50:59,516 - 呸! - 內森? - Yuck! - Nathan? 1003 00:51:01,476 --> 00:51:02,601 內森 我... Nathan, I... 1004 00:51:02,602 --> 00:51:04,631 我哥哥把果汁噴趣酒灑在沙發上了 My brother spilled fruit punch on the couch. 1005 00:51:04,632 --> 00:51:05,646 染了好大一塊紅色 There's a big red stain. 1006 00:51:05,647 --> 00:51:07,524 我 我 嗯... 我要走了 I, I, um... I need to go. 1007 00:51:08,149 --> 00:51:10,527 但是再過半小時才會有人來接你啊 But you're not getting picked up for another half hour. 1008 00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:13,029 要再坐一會兒看看電視嗎? Wanna sit and watch some more TV? 1009 00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:17,192 好 我... 我就... Yeah. I'll... I'll just... 1010 00:51:17,193 --> 00:51:18,660 我就在這邊站著看吧 I'll just watch it from back here. 1011 00:51:20,161 --> 00:51:21,746 好棒 我喜歡站著 That's cool. I like standing. 1012 00:51:24,457 --> 00:51:28,044 哇! 米奇還把果酒噴到牆上了! Whoa! Mikey spilled fruit punch on the wall, too! 1013 00:51:28,461 --> 00:51:29,890 我媽會氣瘋的! My mom is gonna be so pissed! 1014 00:51:29,891 --> 00:51:31,463 內森 我真的要走了 Nathan, I really need to go! 1015 00:51:31,464 --> 00:51:33,632 嗨 小情侶 希望我沒有... Hey, lovebirds, I hope I'm not... 1016 00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:36,385 天啊 你流血了! 噢 天啊! Holy shit, you are covered in blood! Oh, my God! 1017 00:51:36,386 --> 00:51:38,053 - 什麼? - 噢 天啊! - What? - Oh, my God! 1018 00:51:38,054 --> 00:51:39,722 - 天啊! - 天啊! - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! 1019 00:51:39,723 --> 00:51:41,043 天啊! 你一定是... Oh, my God! You must've s... 1020 00:51:41,044 --> 00:51:42,474 坐在釘子或者什麼東西上了! sat on a nail or something! 1021 00:51:42,475 --> 00:51:44,531 你個白癡! 她這是來大姨媽了! You idiot! She's having her period! 1022 00:51:44,532 --> 00:51:45,103 天啊! Oh, my God! 1023 00:51:45,478 --> 00:51:46,730 我該做什麼? What do I do? 1024 00:51:47,063 --> 00:51:47,876 你不知道該做什麼? You don't know what to do? 1025 00:51:47,877 --> 00:51:48,772 你之前沒有來過大姨媽? You've never had your period before? 1026 00:51:48,773 --> 00:51:51,025 - 沒有 - 噢 天啊! - No, I haven't. - Oh, my God, 1027 00:51:51,026 --> 00:51:52,627 米奇 她已經流了好多血了! Mikey, she's already lost a lot of blood! 1028 00:51:53,486 --> 00:51:54,820 好吧 嗯 聽好了? Okay. Um, you know what? 1029 00:51:54,821 --> 00:51:56,822 媽媽在這邊存放過一些衛生棉條 知道吧? Mom's gotta have some tampons around here somewhere, right? 1030 00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:59,074 天啊! 真不敢相信! Oh, my God! This is not happening! 1031 00:51:59,075 --> 00:52:00,576 媽的! 你比媽媽瘦小多了! Fuck! You are way skinnier than Mom! 1032 00:52:00,577 --> 00:52:02,494 那... 那東西絕不適合你用! There... There's no way they're gonna fit you! 1033 00:52:02,495 --> 00:52:04,079 我想走回家去! Look, I'm just gonna walk home! 1034 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,499 不 不 不! 你不能就這樣走回家 傻瓜! No, no, no, no! You can't walk home in your condition, silly! 1035 00:52:06,583 --> 00:52:08,083 米奇 快! Mikey, hurry! 1036 00:52:08,084 --> 00:52:09,295 只能找到塑料袋! There's just plastic bags! 1037 00:52:09,296 --> 00:52:11,046 我不知道我他媽還能幹什麼! I don't know what the fuck you want me to do! 1038 00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:13,255 - 幹嘛? - 自己擦一擦! - What? - Wipe yourself! 1039 00:52:13,256 --> 00:52:15,007 嗨 嗨 嗨! 孩子們 我提前回來了 Hey, hey, hey! Guys, I'm home early. 1040 00:52:15,008 --> 00:52:16,259 爸 幫幫我們! Dad, help us! 1041 00:52:16,593 --> 00:52:18,678 怎麼回事 我是內森的爸爸 我叫史蒂夫 Pardon me, I'm Nathan's father, Steve. 1042 00:52:19,262 --> 00:52:22,473 先塞住止血好了 我找到了這個 還有這個 Oh, we're just gonna have to plug it up. I found this and this. 1043 00:52:22,474 --> 00:52:23,754 出什麼事了? All right, what's going on here? 1044 00:52:25,518 --> 00:52:27,770 內森這次約會正趕上她第一次來大姨媽 Nathan's date is on her period for the first time, 1045 00:52:27,771 --> 00:52:29,521 她的血流得到處都是! and she's bleeding everywhere! 1046 00:52:29,522 --> 00:52:30,522 - 噢 真噁心 - 什麼? - Oh, disgusting. - What? 1047 00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:32,274 我是說 恭喜你 小姐 I mean, congratulations, young lady. 1048 00:52:32,275 --> 00:52:34,526 "恭喜"? 她要流血致死了! "Congratulations"? She's bleeding to death! 1049 00:52:34,527 --> 00:52:36,528 天啊! 我的肚子好疼! Oh, my God! My stomach hurts! 1050 00:52:36,529 --> 00:52:38,238 她在宮縮了! She's having contractions! 1051 00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,075 不要! 噢 不! No! Oh, no! 1052 00:52:40,742 --> 00:52:42,034 好吧 All right. 1053 00:52:42,035 --> 00:52:45,537 9-1-1? 我朋友的陰道在流血! 9-1-1? Yeah, my friend is bleeding out of her vagina! 1054 00:52:45,538 --> 00:52:46,539 內森 內森 聽我說! Nathan, Nathan, listen! 1055 00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,625 為什麼你在嘲笑我? Why are you laughing at me? 1056 00:52:49,042 --> 00:52:52,462 就是... 阿曼達的內臟內膜... It's just... it's... The... The lining of Amanda's... 1057 00:52:52,754 --> 00:52:55,507 從身體裏排出來 internal organs just spilling out of her. 1058 00:52:56,132 --> 00:52:57,509 天啊! Oh, my God! 1059 00:52:57,759 --> 00:52:59,551 我不會死的! Look, I'm not dying! 1060 00:52:59,552 --> 00:53:01,554 我找到了凍豆子和一塊海綿! I got frozen peas and a sponge! 1061 00:53:01,805 --> 00:53:03,764 如果要保持內膜完整 If you wanna keep the lining intact, 1062 00:53:03,765 --> 00:53:08,060 男人需要把勃起的陰莖插入她的陰道 the man has to insert his erect phallus into her vagina. 1063 00:53:08,061 --> 00:53:08,692 什麼? A what? 1064 00:53:08,693 --> 00:53:10,271 你們猜我找到什麼好東西了? You know what? I got a perfect thing. 1065 00:53:11,564 --> 00:53:13,148 插在棍子上的衛生棉 Maxi pad on a stick. 1066 00:53:13,149 --> 00:53:15,568 天啊! 我死了算了! Oh, my God! I wanna kill myself! 1067 00:53:15,652 --> 00:53:17,278 你們好! 寶貝兒 你準備好要走了嗎? Hello! Hey, baby, you ready? 1068 00:53:18,571 --> 00:53:20,280 - 麻痹的出什麼事了? - 爸! - What the hell's going on here? - Dad! 1069 00:53:20,281 --> 00:53:21,324 天啊! 寶貝兒! Oh, my God! Honey! 1070 00:53:21,574 --> 00:53:22,431 你家得多變態 What the hell kind of sick family 1071 00:53:22,432 --> 00:53:24,576 才會把這麼大一個西紅柿砸到 squashes a large tomato... 1072 00:53:24,577 --> 00:53:26,121 我女兒褲子上? on my daughter's pants? 1073 00:53:26,413 --> 00:53:28,664 哇 看看你是怎麼暗諷我們家的 Whoa. Watch what you're implying about my family. 1074 00:53:28,665 --> 00:53:30,792 有什麼好看的 傑克! Oh, I don't gotta watch anything, Jack! 1075 00:53:31,334 --> 00:53:33,586 - 是嗎? - 是的! - Yeah? - Yeah! 1076 00:53:33,670 --> 00:53:34,199 你推我? You touching me? 1077 00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:34,753 是的 是的 傻逼 我推你了! Yeah, yeah, bitch, yeah! 1078 00:53:34,754 --> 00:53:36,213 - 你還推我? - 你不准推我! - You touching me? - You're not to touch me! 1079 00:53:36,214 --> 00:53:38,091 - 我們出去練 傻逼! - 我們走! - Let's go, bitch! - Let's go! 1080 00:53:39,342 --> 00:53:41,594 打他! 照喉嚨打! Sucker punch him! Sucker punch him in the throat! 1081 00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:45,598 都給我閉嘴! Everybody shut up! 1082 00:53:47,267 --> 00:53:50,352 只是個普通的七年級女孩來大姨媽而已 Look, I'm just a regular seventh-grade girl getting my period, 1083 00:53:50,353 --> 00:53:53,273 被你們這群白癡撞到 真是太差勁了 and it really sucks that it had to be in front of all you idiots. 1084 00:53:55,608 --> 00:53:58,611 爸 給我媽打電話 讓她回家等我們 Dad, call Mom and tell her to meet us at home. 1085 00:54:03,616 --> 00:54:05,535 她來大姨媽了? She's got her period? 1086 00:54:06,661 --> 00:54:08,121 真噁心 So disgusting. 1087 00:54:08,705 --> 00:54:11,291 你沒有那種防水布能借我用用 是吧? You don't have a camping tarp I could borrow, do you? 1088 00:54:12,292 --> 00:54:13,626 發生這些事我很抱歉 Sorry about all that. 1089 00:54:14,711 --> 00:54:16,463 嗨 寶貝兒 不要坐在車裏! Hey, honey, don't sit in the car! 1090 00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:20,216 陰道真是太複雜了! Vagina is way too complicated! 1091 00:54:20,633 --> 00:54:22,135 是啊 絕不是蓋的 Yeah, no shit. 1092 00:54:24,387 --> 00:54:25,722 真的? Really? 1093 00:54:29,559 --> 00:54:30,727 爸 太威武了 Dad, that was epic! 1094 00:54:32,353 --> 00:54:35,565 我從早上開會的時候起就一直攢著這個屁呢 I've been trying to push that puppy out since this morning's conference call. 1095 00:54:35,607 --> 00:54:38,400 哇! 我要去拉屎 然後我們看比賽 Woo! I gotta take a massive dump, and then we're watching the game. 1096 00:54:38,401 --> 00:54:39,736 - 嗯 - 好的! - Yeah. - Yes! 1097 00:54:47,702 --> 00:54:49,078 真棒! Oh, nice! 1098 00:55:13,982 --> 00:55:17,382 丹碧絲月經棉塞 全方位防漏 1099 00:55:17,982 --> 00:55:19,382 快點 過來 過來 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 1100 00:55:19,442 --> 00:55:20,652 看我們找到誰了 Look who we found. 1101 00:55:22,695 --> 00:55:23,696 J.J.? J.J.? 1102 00:55:24,656 --> 00:55:26,990 - 史蒂夫·施瑞德? - 我就說吧 - Stevie Schraeder? - I freaking told you. 1103 00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,700 靠.. 媽的! 怎麼找到他的? Wh... What the fuck! How'd he get there? 1104 00:55:28,701 --> 00:55:31,453 史蒂夫 跟他們說電影四十三的事! Stevie, tell them about Movie 43! 1105 00:55:31,454 --> 00:55:34,998 什麼電影四十三? 他們一直在問我這個 What's Movie 43? They keep asking me that. 1106 00:55:34,999 --> 00:55:36,900 把史蒂夫·施瑞德的手指切下來 Cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger. 1107 00:55:36,901 --> 00:55:37,460 什麼! What! 1108 00:55:37,544 --> 00:55:39,711 不 不要切史蒂夫·施瑞德的手指! No, don't cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger! 1109 00:55:39,712 --> 00:55:42,464 不要切我的手指! 求你了! Don't cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger! Please! 1110 00:55:42,465 --> 00:55:44,258 電影四十三不是真的 Movie 43 isn't real. 1111 00:55:44,259 --> 00:55:46,468 只是我和卡爾文編出來耍你的! It's just something Calvin and I made up to prank you! 1112 00:55:46,469 --> 00:55:48,136 顯然它一定是存在的 Well, apparently it is real, 1113 00:55:48,137 --> 00:55:49,160 我們要找到它 and we need to find it 1114 00:55:49,161 --> 00:55:50,640 不然你那傻逼朋友就死定了! or else your stupid friend dies! 1115 00:55:50,974 --> 00:55:53,685 - 除非... - 除非什麼? 什麼? - Unless... - Unless what? Unless what? 1116 00:55:54,227 --> 00:55:56,728 我可以做一個91-F-西塔箱 I can fashion a ninety-one-F-Theta Box. 1117 00:55:56,729 --> 00:55:59,022 不要 不要用西塔箱 拜託! 不要那樣做! No. Not the Theta Box. Please! Do not do that! 1118 00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:01,733 快去! 弄個西塔箱 管它是什麼呢 Go! Make a Theta Box, dude. Whatever that is. 1119 00:56:01,734 --> 00:56:03,403 好吧 不用等我 Okay. Don't wait for me. 1120 00:56:04,238 --> 00:56:05,099 檢索"電影四十三"+"是否存在" 1121 00:56:05,238 --> 00:56:07,699 電影四十三在哪 在哪? Movie 43. Wh... Where is it? Where is it? 1122 00:56:13,037 --> 00:56:14,747 混蛋 滾開 Go fuck yourself, asshole! 1123 00:56:15,748 --> 00:56:17,250 別這樣 Don't do this. 1124 00:56:17,333 --> 00:56:20,295 布萊恩 我們是最好的朋友啊 別搬走 Brian, we're best friends, man. You can't move out. 1125 00:56:20,503 --> 00:56:21,753 你干了我的女友 老兄 You fucked my girlfriend, dude. 1126 00:56:21,754 --> 00:56:23,339 才一次 One time. 1127 00:56:23,756 --> 00:56:25,215 連續幹了一周 For a week. 1128 00:56:25,216 --> 00:56:27,176 - 什麼? - 但我想補償你的 - What? - But I want to make it up to you. 1129 00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:29,429 我能幹你女友嗎? Can I fuck your girlfriend? 1130 00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:32,014 可以 但是她發現我睡了你女友之後 Yes, but she broke up with me... 1131 00:56:32,015 --> 00:56:33,765 就和我分手了 when she found out I slept with your girlfriend... 1132 00:56:33,766 --> 00:56:35,393 所以這事我辦不了 so I can't arrange it. 1133 00:56:35,685 --> 00:56:39,314 但布萊恩 我有驚喜給你 But Brian, I got you something. 1134 00:56:40,023 --> 00:56:43,484 最好的生日禮物 你一定會喜歡的 Best birthday present ever. You are going to love this. 1135 00:56:44,527 --> 00:56:47,196 - 有必要嗎? - 相信我 - Is this really necessary? - Trust me. 1136 00:56:49,115 --> 00:56:51,618 最好是... It's better if it's a... 1137 00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:55,288 一 二 三 想不到吧 One, two, three, surprise! 1138 00:56:59,584 --> 00:57:02,045 吃驚吧 老兄 生日快樂 I know, right, buddy? Happy birthday. 1139 00:57:02,128 --> 00:57:03,712 你綁架了一個愛爾蘭小矮子 You kidnapped an Irish midget. 1140 00:57:03,713 --> 00:57:06,131 {\an8}小矮妖:愛爾蘭精靈 喜歡搞惡作劇 1141 00:57:03,713 --> 00:57:06,131 不 這是小矮妖 No, I caught you a leprechaun. 1142 00:57:06,132 --> 00:57:08,051 笨蛋 根本就沒有小矮妖 Moron. There's no such thing as leprechauns. 1143 00:57:08,718 --> 00:57:10,219 老兄 看著 Dude, watch this. 1144 00:57:11,471 --> 00:57:12,512 嘿 小兄弟 Hey, little buddy. 1145 00:57:12,513 --> 00:57:16,142 跟我朋友說 你會給我們一大罐黃金 Tell my friend you're going to give us a big pot of gold. 1146 00:57:16,768 --> 00:57:19,561 我要切掉你蛋蛋然後餵你們吃掉 I'm going to cut off your balls and feed them to you! 1147 00:57:19,562 --> 00:57:20,813 天啊 Good Lord. 1148 00:57:21,773 --> 00:57:24,356 他在開玩笑 他會給我們黃金的 He's just joking. He's got to give us the gold. 1149 00:57:24,357 --> 00:57:25,734 這是行規 是吧? That's the rules. Right? 1150 00:57:25,735 --> 00:57:29,364 你等著看我操死你! The last thing you'll ever see is my cock, skull-fucking you! 1151 00:57:32,659 --> 00:57:34,285 我再問他一次 Let me ask him again. 1152 00:57:37,038 --> 00:57:39,040 你他媽的把黃金交出來 Give us the fucking gold! 1153 00:57:40,041 --> 00:57:41,249 我拿一把破剪刀操翻你時 Do you want the lights on or off... 1154 00:57:41,250 --> 00:57:43,586 你喜望開著燈還是關燈呢? when I fuck you with a pair of rusty scissors? 1155 00:57:45,129 --> 00:57:47,589 住手 住手 冷靜 冷靜 Stop, stop! Chill! Chill! 1156 00:57:47,590 --> 00:57:50,592 你在幹什麼? 你這樣會弄死他的 What are you doing? You're going to kill him! 1157 00:57:50,593 --> 00:57:54,138 當心 放鬆 我來處理 好嗎? 我來處理 Watch out! Relax! I'll handle this, okay? I'll handle this. 1158 00:57:57,266 --> 00:57:59,644 嘿 小矮妖先生 Hey, Mr. Leprechaun. 1159 00:58:02,105 --> 00:58:04,106 我為此感到非常抱歉 I am super sorry about this. 1160 00:58:04,107 --> 00:58:05,607 這是個誤會 It's just a misunderstanding, 1161 00:58:05,608 --> 00:58:09,779 我馬上就給你鬆綁 把你放了 so what I'm going to do... is untie you and let you go. 1162 00:58:10,613 --> 00:58:12,031 這樣如何? How does that sound? 1163 00:58:13,116 --> 00:58:15,076 好的 但首先 Okay... but first... 1164 00:58:16,327 --> 00:58:20,039 先給我口爆一下 你這狗娘養的雜種 Lick my crusty Irish taint, you yeast-breeding cunt hole! 1165 00:58:20,790 --> 00:58:23,710 去死 去死 你這小混球 Die! Die, you little magical fuck! 1166 00:58:24,127 --> 00:58:26,795 哇 停 停 好好想想 Whoa, stop! Stop! Think! 1167 00:58:26,796 --> 00:58:29,381 他死了 就無法告訴我們黃金藏在哪 If he's dead, he can't tell us where the gold is! 1168 00:58:29,382 --> 00:58:33,636 該死的巨人 不要臉的混蛋 Fucking giants. Motherfucking full-growns! 1169 00:58:34,137 --> 00:58:37,305 一結束 我馬上干破你媽的私穴 When all this is over, I'm going to crawl up your mother's cunt... 1170 00:58:37,306 --> 00:58:39,099 再在上面插棍點篝火 and start a fucking campfire! 1171 00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:43,061 閉嘴 你什麼也做不了 Hey! No! Shut up! You can't do anything... 1172 00:58:43,062 --> 00:58:45,146 你這麼個矬樣 被綁在椅子上 because you're tiny and tied to a chair, 1173 00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:46,189 沒人知道你在哪 and nobody knows where you are. 1174 00:58:46,190 --> 00:58:47,316 沒人知道 No one! 1175 00:58:48,735 --> 00:58:50,528 此言差矣 I wouldn't bet on that. 1176 00:58:50,987 --> 00:58:52,238 誰打過來? Who's calling? 1177 00:58:54,115 --> 00:58:55,157 喂 Hello? 1178 00:58:55,158 --> 00:58:57,576 快死之人就是這麼說話的 So this is what a dead man sounds like. 1179 00:58:57,577 --> 00:58:59,536 - 又一個小矮妖 - 操 - It's another leprechaun. - Fuck! 1180 00:58:59,537 --> 00:59:00,996 是我哥哥打來的話 If that's my brother... 1181 00:59:00,997 --> 00:59:04,458 做好老二被綁到消防栓上的準備吧 prepare to have your dickhole stretched over a fucking fire hydrant! 1182 00:59:04,459 --> 00:59:07,002 - 你怎麼那麼嘴賤? - 封住他嘴 - What's wrong with your fucking mouth? - Gag him. 1183 00:59:07,003 --> 00:59:08,087 你的蛋蛋 Your balls... 1184 00:59:09,172 --> 00:59:10,380 聽著 你這個臭婊子 Listen, Cookie O' Puss... 1185 00:59:10,381 --> 00:59:14,092 小矮妖在我這 把金子交出來 不然我殺了他 I got a leprechaun and I want some gold or we're going to kill him. 1186 00:59:14,093 --> 00:59:16,971 我把你的蛋蛋切了怎麼樣? How do you feel about having your balls cut off? 1187 00:59:17,263 --> 00:59:19,390 靠 他們那麼喜歡蛋蛋 Jeez, they're so into balls. 1188 00:59:19,682 --> 00:59:22,184 我是認真的 最好把金子交出來 I'm serious. You better make with the gold... 1189 00:59:22,185 --> 00:59:25,103 不然你的小矮妖就要被大卸八塊 or your little green man will be pushing up four-leaf clovers! 1190 00:59:25,104 --> 00:59:26,981 你的語氣夠強硬 很好 That was so good. You sounded so tough. 1191 00:59:27,398 --> 00:59:28,691 好吧 Okay. 1192 00:59:30,443 --> 00:59:31,986 他說什麼? What did he say? 1193 00:59:32,695 --> 00:59:34,197 他說好吧 He said "Okay." 1194 00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:38,201 不可能 他怎麼來得這麼快? No way. How did he get here so fast? 1195 00:59:57,136 --> 00:59:58,221 太好了 Sweet! 1196 01:00:03,226 --> 01:00:06,479 - 金幣 - 金的 - Gold coins! - Gold! 1197 01:00:09,524 --> 01:00:12,068 - 老兄 生日快樂 - 太好了 - Happy birthday, dude! - Holy crap! 1198 01:00:12,193 --> 01:00:14,195 我們得到金幣了 還留著這個小賤貨? So, we get the gold and we keep this little fucker? 1199 01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,281 你聽見沒? 看來你的護身符失效了啊 Did you hear that? Looks like your lucky charms just ran out. 1200 01:00:17,990 --> 01:00:20,451 現在是誰的魔法管用啊 臭婊子? Who's magically delicious now, bitch? 1201 01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,702 什麼? 你說什麼? What? Did you say something? 1202 01:00:22,703 --> 01:00:26,249 有個這麼大個金盆 聽不見你講什麼 I couldn't hear you over my giant pot of leprechaun gold! 1203 01:00:27,208 --> 01:00:28,543 今早的高潮來了 婊子們 Top o' the morning, ladies! 1204 01:00:31,337 --> 01:00:32,975 他打中了我的眼睛 He shot me in the eye! 1205 01:00:32,976 --> 01:00:34,465 他打中了我的乳頭 He shot me in my nipples! 1206 01:00:36,050 --> 01:00:38,177 我一隻眼瞎了 I'm half goddamn blind! 1207 01:00:39,470 --> 01:00:41,264 讓你知道凱爾特人的厲害 Taste Celtic steel! 1208 01:00:43,182 --> 01:00:45,267 老兄 就是這樣 干死他 That's right, brother! Fuck him up good! 1209 01:00:45,268 --> 01:00:48,186 這就是拿走小矮妖的黃金的下場 This is what happens when you take a leprechaun's gold! 1210 01:00:48,187 --> 01:00:51,106 用你的小妖刀捅他 切掉他蛋蛋 Stab him with your leprechaun knife! Cut off his balls! 1211 01:00:51,107 --> 01:00:52,524 快上啊! Go leprechauns! 1212 01:00:52,525 --> 01:00:55,110 - 見天國去吧 - 什麼? - Walk to the rainbow. - What? 1213 01:00:55,111 --> 01:00:58,280 - 切掉他蛋蛋 - 救命 皮特 救命! - Cut off his balls! - Help! Pete! Help! 1214 01:00:58,281 --> 01:01:01,241 我要把你蛋蛋剁碎! I'm going to mangle your balls! 1215 01:01:01,242 --> 01:01:03,661 開槍打死這個死小矮妖 Shoot him! Shoot the fucking leprechaun! 1216 01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:07,289 你個笨蛋 不是那個小矮妖 是這個! You moron! Not that leprechaun! This leprechaun! 1217 01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:10,126 {\an8}聖帕特裏克:愛爾蘭守護神 1218 01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:10,126 跟聖帕特裏克說這樣爽死了 Tell St. Patty you like it up the ass! 1219 01:01:17,216 --> 01:01:18,301 現在怎麼辦? What now? 1220 01:01:21,304 --> 01:01:22,721 這些小矮妖也太小了嘛 Not much to these guys. 1221 01:01:22,722 --> 01:01:24,724 是啊 比我想像中的還小 Yeah. I thought they'd be bigger. 1222 01:01:25,308 --> 01:01:27,768 嘿 皮特 我要對你說聲謝謝 Hey, Pete, I just want to say thank you. 1223 01:01:28,144 --> 01:01:31,272 - 是啊 黃金很多 - 不僅僅是因為黃金 - Yeah, it is a lot of gold. - Nah, it's more than gold. 1224 01:01:31,314 --> 01:01:33,398 抓住小矮妖肯定也費了不少工夫 Catching that leprechaun must have been hard work. 1225 01:01:33,399 --> 01:01:36,319 只有真正的朋友才會為我這麼做 Something that only a true friend would do for me. 1226 01:01:36,485 --> 01:01:39,572 我要是沒有睡過你女友就好了 Yeah, well, I should have never slept with your girlfriend. 1227 01:01:39,739 --> 01:01:42,325 沒關係 再買個新女友就好了 Whatever. We can buy new girlfriends. 1228 01:01:43,159 --> 01:01:46,286 老兄 我都把你的第二份生日禮物給忘了 Dude, I totally forgot the second part of your gift! 1229 01:01:46,287 --> 01:01:47,288 不是吧? Really? 1230 01:01:53,794 --> 01:01:57,173 - 她是誰? - 僊女 童話書中的僊女 - Who is she? - She's a fairy. Storybook fairy. 1231 01:01:58,549 --> 01:02:01,052 要個僊女有什麼用? What the hell am I supposed to do with a fairy? 1232 01:02:01,177 --> 01:02:03,512 你給我金幣 我幫你吹簫 I suck cock for gold coins. 1233 01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:09,185 J.J. 騰個地方出來! J.J., make some space! 1234 01:02:11,604 --> 01:02:12,817 我能做點什麼? What can I do? 1235 01:02:12,818 --> 01:02:14,273 找點金屬來 現在就要 I need metal. Right now! Go! 1236 01:02:15,358 --> 01:02:17,360 用你的拆裝玩具 Use your Tinker Toys. 1237 01:02:17,735 --> 01:02:19,212 獎盃 勺子 Trophies! Spoons! 1238 01:02:19,213 --> 01:02:21,614 別再衝我喊了 馬上就好 Stop yelling at me! I'll do it! 1239 01:02:25,284 --> 01:02:28,411 - 好 - 開始 啟動序列 - Right. - I'm go. Initiate sequence. 1240 01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:29,663 這樣有效嗎? Is this going to work? 1241 01:02:29,664 --> 01:02:30,706 但願行 It better! 1242 01:02:32,541 --> 01:02:33,709 好了 Here we go! 1243 01:02:35,378 --> 01:02:36,712 怎麼搞呢? How do you do this? 1244 01:02:38,673 --> 01:02:40,341 快好了 We're getting close! 1245 01:02:40,591 --> 01:02:41,676 看到沒? Yeah? 1246 01:02:44,136 --> 01:02:45,721 是啊 快成功了 Yes, we're getting very close! 1247 01:02:47,974 --> 01:02:49,767 一杯瑪格麗塔 謝謝 Uno marguerita, por favor? 1248 01:02:50,101 --> 01:02:51,185 加鹽嗎? You want salt? 1249 01:02:51,352 --> 01:02:52,561 嗯 很好 Si, bueno. 1250 01:02:53,354 --> 01:02:56,398 - 你呢? - 朗姆雞尾酒 謝謝 - And for you? - Whynatte and rum, please. 1251 01:02:56,399 --> 01:02:57,566 好的 Got it. 1252 01:02:58,192 --> 01:03:00,353 問你個問題好嗎? 私人問題 Do you mind me asking a question? It may seem personal. 1253 01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:01,661 我很吃驚 I'm quite surprised 1254 01:03:01,662 --> 01:03:05,156 您有這麼一張漂亮的臉蛋還要求助於 that a lady with your face needs to resort to... 1255 01:03:05,157 --> 01:03:06,409 - 婚戀網? - 是啊 - Match dot com? - Right. 1256 01:03:06,575 --> 01:03:11,371 說真的 我身邊的備選者全部都很無趣 Truth is, I have completely exhausted all of my options. 1257 01:03:11,372 --> 01:03:12,414 - 是嗎? - 是啊 - Really? - Yeah. 1258 01:03:12,415 --> 01:03:14,749 真可惜 你的生活圈子真的那樣? Oh, dear. That's a shame. And are you from the area? 1259 01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:16,418 不 我們別這樣 好嗎? No. Let's not do that, okay? 1260 01:03:16,419 --> 01:03:18,420 這些年我相親無數 I've been on so many blind dates in the past year, 1261 01:03:18,421 --> 01:03:19,714 他們總是問同樣的問題 and they're all the same. 1262 01:03:20,214 --> 01:03:22,173 "你住哪? 你姐妹是做什麼的?" "Where are you from? What does your sister do? 1263 01:03:22,174 --> 01:03:23,258 你的父親..." 一堆廢話 What does your father..." Blah, blah, blah. 1264 01:03:23,259 --> 01:03:25,260 就算我父親是清潔工 你真的在乎嗎? Do you really care if my father is a garbage man? 1265 01:03:25,261 --> 01:03:26,392 你的父親是清潔工嗎? Is your father a garbage man? 1266 01:03:26,393 --> 01:03:27,262 不是 這不是重點 No, he's not! That's the point. 1267 01:03:27,263 --> 01:03:28,680 - 管他呢? - 無關緊要 - Who cares? - Not important. 1268 01:03:28,681 --> 01:03:32,392 所以別再那樣問了 這次約會我們玩點新花樣 So let's not do that. Let's have this date be different. 1269 01:03:32,393 --> 01:03:35,395 - 說點切實際的 好嗎? - 好 - Let's talk about real things, okay? - Great. 1270 01:03:35,396 --> 01:03:38,190 - 直接了當地說話 - 我一向如此 - Real, straight conversations. - I'm all about that. 1271 01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,110 你父親到底是做什麼的? So what does your father do for a living? 1272 01:03:43,446 --> 01:03:46,240 好吧 來玩個遊戲 Okay. Let's play a game. 1273 01:03:46,449 --> 01:03:48,158 - 好 - 你玩過真心話大冒險嗎? - Okay. - Have you played Truth or Dare? 1274 01:03:48,159 --> 01:03:49,617 沒玩過 但我聽說過 I haven't played it, but I'm aware of it. 1275 01:03:49,618 --> 01:03:53,205 那你先吧 你先問我 "真心話還是挑戰" Well, you start first. You ask me, "Truth or Dare." 1276 01:03:53,456 --> 01:03:55,249 - 真心話還是挑戰? - 真心話 - Truth or Dare? - Truth. 1277 01:03:55,458 --> 01:04:00,295 在這個神奇的宇宙 Is there any possibility in this noble cosmos... 1278 01:04:00,296 --> 01:04:04,508 或其他的平行宇宙裏 or any alternative parallel cosmos where you might... 1279 01:04:05,301 --> 01:04:08,054 有沒有可能 我是你的菜? Is there any chance I'm your type? 1280 01:04:10,473 --> 01:04:12,433 當然有 你長得高 Yeah. Yeah. You're tall. 1281 01:04:12,975 --> 01:04:14,727 - 高個子好? - 我喜歡高個子 - And that's good? - I like tall. 1282 01:04:15,436 --> 01:04:16,478 好吧 真心話還是挑戰? Okay, Truth or Dare? 1283 01:04:16,479 --> 01:04:17,521 真心話 Truth? 1284 01:04:18,230 --> 01:04:22,276 就知道你會這麼說 我說的會有點過哦 I knew you'd say that. I am going to push the limits just a little bit. 1285 01:04:23,069 --> 01:04:26,238 - 你切過包皮嗎? - 我切包皮了嗎? - Are you circumcised? - Am I circumcised? 1286 01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:28,032 這是隱私 That's personal. 1287 01:04:29,158 --> 01:04:32,410 在我住的地方 沒有切包皮的習慣 Circumcision has never really taken off, to be honest, where I'm from. 1288 01:04:32,411 --> 01:04:35,706 這個不是 不是很流行 It's not... it's not the vogue. 1289 01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:38,501 我覺得只有猶太人會這麼做 I tend to associate it with Jewish people... 1290 01:04:39,001 --> 01:04:41,294 在歐洲又沒有多少猶太人 and we don't have many Jewish people in Europe anymore... 1291 01:04:41,295 --> 01:04:44,005 因為他們攤上點... 小麻煩 because of the... trouble. 1292 01:04:44,006 --> 01:04:46,050 所以 我沒有切 So, no, I'm not. 1293 01:04:46,509 --> 01:04:49,345 但如果你想讓我切 我可以切的 But if you would need me to get circumcised, I'm sure I could. 1294 01:04:50,513 --> 01:04:52,723 - 真心話還是挑戰? - 真心話 - Truth or Dare? - Truth. 1295 01:04:53,057 --> 01:04:55,350 你最後一次親男人是什麼時候? When was the last time you kissed a man? 1296 01:04:55,351 --> 01:04:58,256 二十六天前 在普拉提工作室後的小巷裏 Twenty-six days ago in an alley behind a Pilates studio. 1297 01:04:58,257 --> 01:04:59,480 真心話還是挑戰? Truth or Dare? 1298 01:05:00,272 --> 01:05:01,690 挑戰 我試試挑戰 Dare. I'm going to go with a Dare. 1299 01:05:02,274 --> 01:05:05,736 好的 終於來點給力的了 Here we go. Now we're cooking. Okay. 1300 01:05:06,112 --> 01:05:09,782 我向你挑戰 你要去那邊 I dare you to go over there. 1301 01:05:10,491 --> 01:05:13,535 看到穿黑夾克的那個猛男了嗎? See that man with the black jacket? The husky guy? 1302 01:05:13,536 --> 01:05:16,329 我向你挑戰 去捏他屁股 I dare you to go and pinch his ass. 1303 01:05:16,330 --> 01:05:18,498 - 要做什麼? - 去捏他屁股 - Do what now? - Just cup it. 1304 01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:20,042 抓住他屁股 捏捏 Grab his cheeks and cup it. 1305 01:05:21,043 --> 01:05:22,335 - 不了吧 - 去吧 - No. - Yeah. 1306 01:05:22,336 --> 01:05:24,796 是你說挑戰的 不是我 挑戰就是要這樣 You said Dare, not me. That's what Dare is. 1307 01:05:24,797 --> 01:05:26,714 - 你看看他 他那麼... - 我見了 - Have a look at him. He's quite... - I see him. 1308 01:05:26,715 --> 01:05:28,508 去他身後 捏他屁股 Go back there and cup his ass. 1309 01:05:28,509 --> 01:05:29,509 他那麼強壯 He's quite a stocky man. 1310 01:05:29,510 --> 01:05:31,594 - 他可能帶著把刀 - 看來我白來了 - He might have a knife. - I don't even have to be here. 1311 01:05:31,595 --> 01:05:32,484 你不想玩的話 I can go home and watch Family Guy 1312 01:05:32,485 --> 01:05:34,264 我還是回家看<居家男人>好了 if you don't want to play. 1313 01:05:34,265 --> 01:05:35,306 我要買單了 打擾一下! I'll get the check. Excuse me! 1314 01:05:35,307 --> 01:05:36,766 - 買單 - 她暫時先不買單 - Can I have the check? - She doesn't need the check. 1315 01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:38,060 開玩笑而已 She's joking. 1316 01:05:38,310 --> 01:05:40,312 - 那去捏他屁股 - 好吧 馬上去 - Then go cup his ass. - Okay, I will. 1317 01:05:49,488 --> 01:05:54,118 我打電話給他 他從來不接 真受夠了 I call him, and he never answers the phone. I'm sick of it. 1318 01:05:54,326 --> 01:05:56,537 - 直接去看他 - 你打個電話給他 - Go pay him a visit. - You call him. 1319 01:05:59,081 --> 01:06:02,543 我煩透了 真是... I'm sick and tired of it. It's... 1320 01:06:03,419 --> 01:06:05,545 - 搞毛啊? - 是我 對不起 - What the fuck? - I did. Sorry. 1321 01:06:05,546 --> 01:06:08,549 你他媽的摸我屁股幹嘛 你腦子進水啊 You touching my fucking ass! What's the matter with you! 1322 01:06:08,591 --> 01:06:11,593 - 你什麼意思? 靠 - 對不起 對不起 - What do you mean, you? Fuck you! - Sorry. Sorry. 1323 01:06:11,594 --> 01:06:14,762 - 你摸錯屁股了 混蛋 - 沒事 - You touch the wrong ass, asshole! - It's all good. 1324 01:06:14,763 --> 01:06:15,585 你腦子進水了是吧 What's the matter with you? 1325 01:06:15,586 --> 01:06:16,557 對不起 很抱歉 對不起 Sorry. Apologies. Sorry. 1326 01:06:16,765 --> 01:06:18,266 真不錯 That was great! 1327 01:06:18,267 --> 01:06:20,393 真心話還是挑戰 真心話還是挑戰? Truth or Dare? Truth or Dare? 1328 01:06:20,394 --> 01:06:21,519 等等 我還沒笑夠... Wait a minute. Can I enjoy the... 1329 01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:23,647 真心話還是挑戰? 快點 Truth or Dare? Come on. 1330 01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:25,273 好吧 挑戰 Okay. Dare. 1331 01:06:25,274 --> 01:06:27,066 好 你去捏他的屁股 Right. You go and cup his ass. 1332 01:06:27,067 --> 01:06:30,278 不 你不能挑戰我同樣的事 No. You can't dare me to do the same thing I just dared you to do. 1333 01:06:30,279 --> 01:06:32,280 - 真心話還是挑戰 - 自己想個點子 - Truth or Dare. - Come up with your own dare. 1334 01:06:32,281 --> 01:06:33,324 要有原創性 Be original. 1335 01:06:34,617 --> 01:06:37,092 看見那邊的失明兒童了嗎? See that blind kid over there? 1336 01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:38,996 搶在他前面把蠟燭吹滅 Blow out his candles before he can. 1337 01:06:40,414 --> 01:06:43,124 我做不來 這太殘忍了 I can't do that! That's cruel! 1338 01:06:43,125 --> 01:06:44,417 真心話大冒險 規則就是這樣 It's Truth or Dare. That's the rule. 1339 01:06:44,418 --> 01:06:47,086 那我走了 我回家去了 I could take off if you want. I could go home. 1340 01:06:47,087 --> 01:06:49,631 我還是回家看本尼·希爾的影碟好了 I'll probably get home in time to put Benny Hill DVDs on. 1341 01:06:49,632 --> 01:06:52,134 - 真的要這樣嗎? - 看你的表現 - You're doing that? - It's up to you. 1342 01:06:52,426 --> 01:06:54,677 好吧 我馬上就過去 吹滅蠟燭 I'll go over there and blow out the candles, 1343 01:06:54,678 --> 01:06:56,222 但是你要明白 but you need to know something. 1344 01:06:56,472 --> 01:06:57,598 戰爭開始了 This is war. 1345 01:06:59,016 --> 01:07:02,394 若是我的生日 我也可以開個派對 I wish it was my birthday So I could party, too 1346 01:07:02,603 --> 01:07:06,398 生日快樂 祝你心想事成 Happy, happy birthday May all your dreams come true 1347 01:07:07,483 --> 01:07:10,026 我們所有人 都祝你生日快樂 Happy, happy birthday From all of us to you 1348 01:07:10,027 --> 01:07:11,153 嘿 Hey! 1349 01:07:20,663 --> 01:07:21,950 打擾一下 我出二百刀 Excuse me. I got $200. 1350 01:07:21,951 --> 01:07:23,040 把你這身衣服賣我好嗎? Can you give me the whole thing? 1351 01:07:43,644 --> 01:07:46,647 我向你挑戰 把鱷梨醬塗滿你右咪咪 I dare you to make guacamole with your right breast. 1352 01:08:19,054 --> 01:08:21,068 {\an8}節選自赫爾曼·麥爾維爾<白鲸记> 1353 01:08:19,054 --> 01:08:21,682 "闡明一些以後將會詳細描述的 "...elucidate several most important, however... 1354 01:08:22,057 --> 01:08:25,476 複雜但最為重要的航程及沿途景致" intricate passages and scenes hereafter to be painted." 1355 01:08:25,477 --> 01:08:28,439 第六十四章 塔布的晚餐 Chapter 64: Stubb's Supper. 1356 01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:31,525 "塔布的鯨魚在遠離船隻的地方被殺害" "Stubb's whale had been killed some distance from the ship." 1357 01:08:38,699 --> 01:08:41,493 消腫的時候 就會好看很多 艾米莉 When the swelling goes down, you're going to look great, Emily. 1358 01:08:42,369 --> 01:08:43,704 謝謝 Thanks, sweetie. 1359 01:09:00,721 --> 01:09:04,349 - 很好玩 是不? - 是啊 我非常開心 - That was fun, huh? - Yes. I had a really great time. 1360 01:09:04,350 --> 01:09:05,476 是嗎? 我也是 Yeah? Me, too. 1361 01:09:05,726 --> 01:09:08,728 - 十分有趣 - 我們玩了很多花樣 - It was definitely interesting. - Yeah. We did a lot. 1362 01:09:08,729 --> 01:09:11,732 是啊 是啊 的確是 Yes. Yeah. We did. We did. 1363 01:09:12,107 --> 01:09:13,566 - 好玩死了 - 是啊 - We did it up. - Yes. 1364 01:09:13,567 --> 01:09:16,528 真好玩 你真是... It was enchanting. You're really a... 1365 01:09:17,738 --> 01:09:19,365 很可愛 very delightful woman. 1366 01:09:19,531 --> 01:09:21,075 - 謝謝 - 嗯 - Well, thank you. - Yeah. 1367 01:09:23,702 --> 01:09:27,289 現在有點尷尬吶 This is that slightly awkward moment. 1368 01:09:27,706 --> 01:09:28,749 呃... Well... 1369 01:09:29,583 --> 01:09:31,502 抱歉 No. I'm sorry. 1370 01:09:32,086 --> 01:09:35,505 你很好 我玩得真是很開心 You're sweet, really, and I really did have a good time... 1371 01:09:35,506 --> 01:09:39,551 但是我對亞洲人實在沒有興趣 but I'm just not that attracted to Asian men. 1372 01:09:49,103 --> 01:09:51,563 笨蛋 快進來 姚明 Psych! Get in here, Yao Ming! 1373 01:09:51,772 --> 01:09:54,358 這兩個大咪咪怎麼能浪費 We don't want these puppies to go to waste. 1374 01:10:02,491 --> 01:10:03,617 老兄 Dude... 1375 01:10:04,243 --> 01:10:05,744 快好了 We're getting closer! 1376 01:10:07,329 --> 01:10:10,249 - 再來一次 - 我快瘋了 老兄 - I need one more! - I'm freaking out, man! 1377 01:10:19,967 --> 01:10:22,970 水龜協議啟動 Terrapin Protocol initiated. 1378 01:10:23,971 --> 01:10:25,346 我失敗了 I have failed. 1379 01:10:25,347 --> 01:10:27,598 你找到電影四十三了 You have found Movie 43. 1380 01:10:27,599 --> 01:10:29,977 - 你都做了什麼啊 - 電影四十三 - What the fuck did you do? - Movie 43. 1381 01:10:30,978 --> 01:10:32,521 我在俄羅斯的時候是個攝影師 I used to be great cameraman in Russia. 1382 01:10:32,604 --> 01:10:34,773 老兄 怎麼停電了? Dude, what's up with the power? 1383 01:10:35,274 --> 01:10:36,983 任務完成 Mission accomplished. 1384 01:10:36,984 --> 01:10:40,111 - 時間不多了 - 你這個混蛋 - We don't have much time. - You little shit! 1385 01:10:40,112 --> 01:10:41,655 我們找到電影四十三了 老兄 We found Movie 43, buddy. 1386 01:10:43,532 --> 01:10:45,617 很好 終於找到了 Good. We found it. 1387 01:10:47,661 --> 01:10:49,620 搞什麼啊? 老兄 那個是你 The fuck? Dude, that's you! 1388 01:10:49,621 --> 01:10:51,581 我是巴克斯特 卡特勒 My name is Baxter Cutler. 1389 01:10:51,582 --> 01:10:54,667 自黑暗降臨以來已經一百四十一天了 It has been 141 days since The Darkness. 1390 01:10:54,668 --> 01:10:57,304 J.J. 卡爾文還有巴克斯特 J.J., Calvin and Baxter, 1391 01:10:57,305 --> 01:10:59,590 這就是你們找的電影四十三! this is Movie 43! 1392 01:11:00,007 --> 01:11:03,426 你們倆二逼要我找電影四十三的過程中 You see, when you idiots made me search for Movie 43... 1393 01:11:03,427 --> 01:11:05,783 我們不當心觸發了水龜協議 we triggered the Terrapin Protocol, 1394 01:11:05,784 --> 01:11:07,597 這可是冷戰時期的極密 the top-secret Cold War initiative... 1395 01:11:07,598 --> 01:11:10,057 用來控制全美人民的思想 to control the mind of every American citizen. 1396 01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:12,435 這樣一來 在蘇聯進攻的時候 So that in the event of a Soviet attack... 1397 01:11:12,436 --> 01:11:14,746 所有的男人 女人還有孩子們 every man, woman and child 1398 01:11:14,747 --> 01:11:16,523 都能被轉換為殺戮機器 would be converted into fighting machines. 1399 01:11:16,607 --> 01:11:19,108 問題在於現在蘇聯已經不存在了 Only there were no more Soviets to fight. 1400 01:11:19,109 --> 01:11:22,612 所以大家開始自相殘殺 國家已成為一片廢墟 So everyone turned on each other and now the country is in ruins. 1401 01:11:22,613 --> 01:11:25,073 中國? 沒了! 俄羅斯? 沒了! China? Gone! Russia? Gone! 1402 01:11:25,282 --> 01:11:26,297 阿姆斯特丹? Amsterdam? 1403 01:11:26,298 --> 01:11:28,619 仍舊不算一個他媽的國家! 沒了! Still not a goddamn country! Gone! 1404 01:11:29,411 --> 01:11:32,038 這就是我向過去傳遞這條消息的原因 That is why I'm sending this message back in time. 1405 01:11:32,039 --> 01:11:34,123 巴克斯特 聽著 你得入侵... Baxter, listen to me. You need to hack into... 1406 01:11:34,124 --> 01:11:35,666 老大 周圍已肅清! Boss, the perimeter's clear! 1407 01:11:35,667 --> 01:11:39,505 你妹的 J.J.! 我正嘗試著改寫歷史! Son of a bitch, J.J.! I'm trying to rewrite the fucking past! 1408 01:11:40,047 --> 01:11:43,300 是嗎? 有幾個感染者剛差點要了你的命! Yeah? Some Infecteds were trying to rewrite your fucking existence! 1409 01:11:43,634 --> 01:11:44,635 逃了兩個 Two got away. 1410 01:11:46,053 --> 01:11:47,470 逮到一個 One did not. 1411 01:11:47,471 --> 01:11:50,056 哥們 這太牛叉了! 這是在哪兒啊? Oh, man, this is sick! Where am I? 1412 01:11:50,057 --> 01:11:51,683 餵過瘸瘸了沒? Has the cripple been fed? 1413 01:11:52,059 --> 01:11:56,062 對不起 媽媽! 對不起 媽媽! I'm sorry, Mommy! I'm sorry, Mom! 1414 01:11:56,063 --> 01:11:57,648 {\an8}雨人: 電影<雨人> 主人公患有自閉癥 1415 01:11:56,063 --> 01:11:57,648 為毛我是個智障? Why am I Rain Man? 1416 01:11:57,689 --> 01:11:59,649 讓西塔拉餵他吃飯 Make Sitara feed him. 1417 01:11:59,650 --> 01:12:02,401 你他媽的餵他去! 我要外出殺敵 You fucking feed him! I need to be out slaughtering. 1418 01:12:02,402 --> 01:12:04,487 不行! 你懷著我的種 No! You carry my seed. 1419 01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:07,281 你必須呆在安全的地方 讓我時刻能保護你 You must stay here where it's safe, where I can protect you. 1420 01:12:07,282 --> 01:12:09,284 - 我很抱歉! - 過來 美人兒 - I'm sorry! - Come here, Mama. 1421 01:12:11,745 --> 01:12:13,372 - 媽媽 對不起 - 言歸正傳 - Sorry, Mommy. - Back to business. 1422 01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:17,083 安全漏洞! 安全漏洞! 開始撤離 Security breach! Security breach! Commence evasive maneuvers. 1423 01:12:17,084 --> 01:12:19,586 - 撤離! - 媽的 他們跳線跨接了! - Defensive maneuvers! - Dammit, they jumped the wire! 1424 01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:23,674 萬科維奇! 對著我 你個毛子傻叉! Vrankovich! On me, you dumb Ruskie! 1425 01:12:24,091 --> 01:12:26,092 巴克斯特! 你能阻止這一切的發生! Baxter! You can prevent this from happening! 1426 01:12:26,093 --> 01:12:28,302 用德國情報局的M-7斯巴達程序 Hack into the Department of Defense security mainframe... 1427 01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:32,099 入侵國防部的安全主機 using a Mark-7 Spartan from the Bundesnachrichtendienst... 1428 01:12:37,312 --> 01:12:39,063 - 不可能! - 我勒個去! - No way! - Oh, shit! 1429 01:12:39,064 --> 01:12:42,526 - 這太牛叉了! - 不可能! - That was awesome! - No way! 1430 01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:43,393 哥們! 牛叉啊! Dude! No way! 1431 01:12:43,394 --> 01:12:44,527 我再也不開你的玩笑了 完畢 I'm never making fun of you again. Period. 1432 01:12:44,528 --> 01:12:46,320 我們本想著惡整你來著! 你反過來... We were trying to prank you! You turned that around... 1433 01:12:46,321 --> 01:12:47,739 我發誓這不是惡整! I swear it wasn't a prank! 1434 01:12:48,115 --> 01:12:50,533 我的天 你覺得我會相信... Oh, my God. You're expecting me to believe... 1435 01:12:50,534 --> 01:12:52,702 六個月後這個世界會毀滅... that somehow in the next six months the whole world ends... 1436 01:12:52,703 --> 01:12:54,598 而我成了個流著口水的瘸子? and I'm a drooling cripple? 1437 01:12:54,599 --> 01:12:55,664 又不是我做的! I didn't do it! 1438 01:12:56,123 --> 01:12:57,164 你到底...? What are you...? 1439 01:12:57,165 --> 01:12:58,666 燈是怎麼了? 真是詭異 What's with the lights? That was weird. 1440 01:12:58,667 --> 01:13:00,868 話說我要去超市了 有誰要帶什麼嗎? So, I'm going to the supermarket. Does anyone need anything? 1441 01:13:06,341 --> 01:13:07,342 不會吧 No. 1442 01:13:07,718 --> 01:13:09,344 怎麼了? What is it? 1443 01:13:15,726 --> 01:13:18,020 不會吧! No! 1444 01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:20,542 抱歉 媽媽! 我很抱歉! I'm sorry, Mommy! I'm sorry! 1445 01:13:20,543 --> 01:13:21,732 你在抱歉些什麼? What are you sorry about? 1446 01:13:24,693 --> 01:13:27,029 - 出什麼事了? - 我擦! - What's happening? - Shit! 1447 01:13:28,363 --> 01:13:29,615 神啊! God! 1448 01:13:31,033 --> 01:13:34,076 我能搞定這個! M-7斯巴達! I can fix this! Mark-7 Spartan! 1449 01:13:34,077 --> 01:13:37,038 那台電腦已經燒了 把我的手提從房間拿來! That computer's fried. Go get my laptop out of my room! 1450 01:13:37,039 --> 01:13:39,291 好的 我去! 我去 別著急 All right, I got it! I got it. Don't worry. 1451 01:13:39,416 --> 01:13:42,628 - 別讓他自殘 - 他為什麼會自殘? - Don't let him pull his own dick off. - Why would he pull his own dick off? 1452 01:13:43,211 --> 01:13:44,755 我他媽的拿到了! 我拿到了! I fucking got it! I got it! 1453 01:13:49,051 --> 01:13:51,178 我的電腦怎麼反應這麼慢? Why is my computer so slow? 1454 01:13:54,514 --> 01:13:56,767 我電腦裏怎麼會有毛片? Why is there porn on my computer? 1455 01:13:57,142 --> 01:13:58,352 愚人節快樂 April Fools. 1456 01:13:58,393 --> 01:14:00,187 我擦! Oh, shit! 1457 01:14:14,611 --> 01:14:18,537 兩年三個月又四天後 1458 01:14:49,111 --> 01:14:50,237 真難以置信! I can't believe it! 1459 01:15:13,124 --> 01:15:15,335 - 是否撤銷水龜協議? 1460 01:15:18,940 --> 01:15:22,335 - 使世界恢復正常? 1461 01:15:23,340 --> 01:15:24,335 - 確定? 1462 01:15:30,340 --> 01:15:31,335 - 真的確定? 1463 01:15:32,340 --> 01:15:33,335 - 百分百確定? 1464 01:15:36,340 --> 01:15:38,335 - 真遺憾那是不可能的 看個電影如何? 1465 01:15:44,124 --> 01:15:46,463 一九五九年 肯尼·傑克遜執教的 In 1959, Kenny Jackson coached 1466 01:15:46,464 --> 01:15:48,335 埃裏森高中的旅行者籃球隊 the Ellison High Journeymen... 1467 01:15:48,336 --> 01:15:50,755 是打進國家級賽事的 to become the first Negro high school team... 1468 01:15:50,756 --> 01:15:53,008 首支黑人球隊 ever to compete for a state title. 1469 01:15:53,300 --> 01:15:55,469 並獲得勝利的榮光這一頭銜 Theirs was victory's glory. 1470 01:15:56,720 --> 01:15:58,757 大傢伙兒快動起來 你們怎麼還傻坐著? Come on, y'all. Why y'all still sitting here? 1471 01:15:58,758 --> 01:15:59,722 比賽馬上就要開始了 The game's all about to start. 1472 01:15:59,723 --> 01:16:02,100 我們很害怕 教練 Coach, we scared. 1473 01:16:02,768 --> 01:16:07,314 外面有上萬的白人覺得我們不夠出色 There's 10,000 white people out there that think that we ain't good enough. 1474 01:16:08,774 --> 01:16:11,693 你知道嗎? 可能我們確實不夠出色 You know what? Maybe we ain't. 1475 01:16:12,319 --> 01:16:14,154 你們都這麼覺得? All of y'all feel like that? 1476 01:16:15,030 --> 01:16:17,157 五百年來 這個國家的黑人 Four hundred years in this country... 1477 01:16:17,699 --> 01:16:22,037 一直被唾棄 被毆打 the black man has been spit on, kicked... 1478 01:16:23,163 --> 01:16:24,623 被詆毀 drag through the mud. 1479 01:16:25,165 --> 01:16:27,334 但是有兩件事情是我能確定的 But I've got two things I can tell you. 1480 01:16:28,293 --> 01:16:32,130 第一 不管是輸是贏 Number one, win or lose... 1481 01:16:33,298 --> 01:16:35,258 我都以你們為傲 I am so proud of y'all. 1482 01:16:37,177 --> 01:16:38,553 第二... Number two... 1483 01:16:40,180 --> 01:16:42,224 你們一定會贏的 You're going to win. 1484 01:16:43,350 --> 01:16:45,352 就是那麼讓人蛋疼的簡單 It's just that plain and fucking simple. 1485 01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:47,395 你們一定會贏的! You're going to win! 1486 01:16:48,230 --> 01:16:49,688 但是海克利技校來的那些白人男孩... But them white boys from Hickory Tech... 1487 01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:51,238 我們打的是什麼比賽? What game are we playing? 1488 01:16:51,239 --> 01:16:52,192 是籃球 教練 Basketball, Coach. 1489 01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:54,152 他們的膚色是什麼? What color is their skin? 1490 01:16:54,194 --> 01:16:56,320 - 白色 - 正是! - White. - Exactly! 1491 01:16:56,321 --> 01:16:58,198 他們是白人 你們是黑人 They're white, you're black. 1492 01:16:58,657 --> 01:17:00,200 這是籃球比賽... This is basketball... 1493 01:17:01,201 --> 01:17:02,743 我他媽說的話你們聽不懂嗎? Am I speaking fucking Chinese? 1494 01:17:02,744 --> 01:17:05,704 你們可是二十五戰全勝啊 孩子們 Come on, people. You guys are 25 and 0. 1495 01:17:05,705 --> 01:17:08,291 是的 教練 但那是面對全黑人的球隊 Yeah, Coach, but that was against all-black teams. 1496 01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:09,656 這就是了! That's the point! 1497 01:17:09,657 --> 01:17:12,294 你們會把那些高加索小鬼虐出翔的! Y'all are going to kill those Caucasians! 1498 01:17:12,295 --> 01:17:14,463 但是 教練 看看他們的基本素質 But, Coach, look at their fundamentals. 1499 01:17:14,464 --> 01:17:17,300 基本素質! 這不是問題! The fundamentals! It doesn't matter! 1500 01:17:17,551 --> 01:17:22,346 哪怕是個白種鐵腳板人猿 It's all the same when you're some cement-foot troglodyte white boy... 1501 01:17:22,347 --> 01:17:25,349 被人騎在胯下 頭頂黑蛋蛋的時候 getting dunked on with a big pair of black fucking nuts... 1502 01:17:25,350 --> 01:17:27,268 也就那麼個熊樣! hanging on your forehead! 1503 01:17:27,269 --> 01:17:29,270 說到蛋蛋... 盧西斯 Speaking of nuts... Lucious. 1504 01:17:29,271 --> 01:17:30,730 站到前面來 盧西斯 Come on up here, Lucious. 1505 01:17:32,357 --> 01:17:34,609 告訴大家 你的雞雞有多長? Tell them. How long is your dick? 1506 01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:37,237 我也不知道 教練 大概有一英尺 I don't know, Coach. Like a foot. 1507 01:17:38,989 --> 01:17:40,198 一尺半吧 Foot and a half. 1508 01:17:40,323 --> 01:17:41,366 一尺半... Foot and a ha... 1509 01:17:43,577 --> 01:17:45,203 一尺半? Foot and a half? 1510 01:17:46,079 --> 01:17:48,205 他們的胳膊都沒那麼長! Their arm ain't even that long! 1511 01:17:48,206 --> 01:17:52,252 我們來給他們點顏色瞧瞧 害怕了吧? All right, let's kick some butt. You scared? 1512 01:17:52,377 --> 01:17:54,421 嘖 嘖 嘖 Well, well, well. 1513 01:17:55,255 --> 01:17:57,256 你們這幫黑鬼倒是打球不打? You Negroes going to play basketball, or what? 1514 01:17:57,257 --> 01:18:00,427 就是 你們這幫黑鬼怎麼了? Yeah, you Negroes. What's the matter? 1515 01:18:00,552 --> 01:18:04,347 明白你們玩不了白人的遊戲了 黑鬼? Did you realize you didn't belong in a white man's game, you Negroes? 1516 01:18:04,389 --> 01:18:06,974 那是 這可不是黑鬼的遊戲 That's right. This isn't a game for Negroes. 1517 01:18:06,975 --> 01:18:10,102 這是正直 優秀的白人間的比賽 It's a game for good, honest white people, 1518 01:18:10,103 --> 01:18:11,353 沒黑鬼的事兒 not for Negroes. 1519 01:18:11,354 --> 01:18:13,231 聽到沒 黑鬼? You understand, Negroes? 1520 01:18:14,357 --> 01:18:18,028 - 白色騎士! - 白色騎士! - White Knights! - White Knights! 1521 01:18:19,988 --> 01:18:21,363 娘勒 教練 他們看著真橫 Man, Coach, they looked tough. 1522 01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:23,532 "他們看著真橫"? 我好怕怕哦! "They looked tough"? I'm so scared! 1523 01:18:23,533 --> 01:18:25,159 你知道他們會幹些什麼? You know what they might do? 1524 01:18:25,160 --> 01:18:28,621 其中一個可能會左手運球 One of them might dribble with his left hand... 1525 01:18:28,622 --> 01:18:31,373 一路運到罰球區 然後來個左手上籃 all the way down the lane and then go up for a left-handed layup... 1526 01:18:31,374 --> 01:18:33,418 你知道之後會發生些什麼嗎? and you know what's going to happen then? 1527 01:18:34,044 --> 01:18:37,255 你們這些小黑就會來個重重的蓋帽 Your black ass is going to swat that shit... 1528 01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,126 一步蹦過他們身邊 jump over his cracker ass, 1529 01:18:39,127 --> 01:18:42,426 讓他們眼睜睜看著你們把球灌進籃裏! and dunk in his goddamn face! 1530 01:18:42,427 --> 01:18:45,429 我他媽的到底還要重複幾次? How many fucking times do I have to tell you? 1531 01:18:45,430 --> 01:18:49,643 你們是黑人 他們是白人 這不是曲棍球! You're black, they're white, this ain't hockey! 1532 01:18:50,310 --> 01:18:55,065 兄弟們 我覺得教練想表達的是關鍵在於合作 Guys, I think what Coach is trying to say is that the key word is "teamwork." 1533 01:18:55,440 --> 01:19:00,403 不是 關鍵在於你們是黑人 他們是白人! No, the key word is "you're black, they're white"! 1534 01:19:01,029 --> 01:19:03,614 那麼 教練你是說 如果上帝與我們同在 So, Coach, what you're saying is, if we just walk with the Lord... 1535 01:19:03,615 --> 01:19:06,283 上帝? 小黑 上帝早已安排好了! The Lord? Nigger, the Lord done did his part already! 1536 01:19:06,284 --> 01:19:09,454 他把你造成了黑人 把他們造成了白人 He made you black. He made them white. 1537 01:19:09,704 --> 01:19:12,092 他賜予了你一尺半長的雞雞! He gave you a foot-and-a-half dick! 1538 01:19:12,093 --> 01:19:13,458 都能拿來運球了! Dribble with that motherfucker! 1539 01:19:14,668 --> 01:19:17,087 只要你們都肯去上場 As long as y'all are out there on the floor... 1540 01:19:17,420 --> 01:19:20,089 就能比他們拿更多分 you're going to score more points than them. 1541 01:19:20,090 --> 01:19:22,342 籃球就是這麼打的! That's just how basketball works! 1542 01:19:27,430 --> 01:19:30,684 別他媽一起緩緩鼓掌了! Cut that goddamn slow clap shit out! 1543 01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:33,228 老子耐心都快磨沒了! Dries my motherfucking patience! 1544 01:19:33,520 --> 01:19:35,313 滾出去打贏比賽! Go out there and win! 1545 01:19:36,356 --> 01:19:38,358 - 我們上! - 走起! - Let's go! - Come on! 1546 01:20:02,210 --> 01:20:03,537 你們是黑人! 1547 01:20:05,510 --> 01:20:07,637 這是一場榮譽之戰 It was a glorious game. 1548 01:20:08,513 --> 01:20:10,514 但在第四小節末... But late in the fourth quarter... 1549 01:20:10,515 --> 01:20:14,393 盧西斯·威廉姆斯晃蕩著他一尺半的雞雞 when Lucious Williams dribbled the entire length of the court... 1550 01:20:14,394 --> 01:20:16,563 運球過了整場 with his foot-and-a-half penis... 1551 01:20:16,771 --> 01:20:20,400 裁判只好判他技術犯規 the referees had no choice but to call a technical foul... 1552 01:20:21,026 --> 01:20:24,529 將小博比·李·美孚拉爾送上了罰球線 sending young Bobby Lee Mayflower to the line... 1553 01:20:24,696 --> 01:20:28,074 本場比賽最戲劇性的一幕由此上演 for the most dramatic moment of the contest. 1554 01:20:51,139 --> 01:20:52,431 大家好啊 Hey, guys. Hello. 1555 01:20:52,432 --> 01:20:54,100 你旁邊的那個女人是誰? Who is that woman you are with? 1556 01:20:54,309 --> 01:20:55,684 那是我媽 That's my mother. 1557 01:20:55,685 --> 01:20:57,479 我要找你媽(那啥) I want your mother. 1558 01:21:01,107 --> 01:21:03,443 - 巴克斯特 把那鬼東西關掉 - 知道了 - Baxter, turn that shit off, man. - Okay. 1559 01:21:04,527 --> 01:21:06,207 我得上個廁所 行嗎? I'm going to go to the bathroom, all right? 1560 01:21:12,577 --> 01:21:14,162 我他媽做不到啊 I can't fucking do it. 1561 01:21:14,454 --> 01:21:15,889 我沒試過 但聽說過 I don't know, but I been told 1562 01:21:15,890 --> 01:21:17,206 我沒試過 但聽說過 I don't know, but I been told 1563 01:21:17,207 --> 01:21:18,540 體育課能讓你的蛋蛋變大 Gym class gives you great big balls 1564 01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:19,584 體育課能... Gym class gives you... 1565 01:21:23,213 --> 01:21:24,505 來扯扯皮 Out here shooting the shit. 1566 01:21:24,506 --> 01:21:26,075 有些人拉別人一身 Some guys shoot the shit, 1567 01:21:26,076 --> 01:21:28,343 有些人被別人拉一身 對吧? and some people get shot with shit. Right? 1568 01:21:28,510 --> 01:21:30,637 - 我說的對吧? - 我不知道他在說什麼 - Am I right? - I don't know what he's talking about. 1569 01:21:30,762 --> 01:21:32,429 你知道我在說什麼的 You know what the fuck I'm talking about. 1570 01:21:32,430 --> 01:21:34,349 我想推倒你 I want to be on you. 1571 01:21:35,433 --> 01:21:36,768 進入你體內 In you. 1572 01:21:38,770 --> 01:21:40,522 - 對不起 我操 - 沒事 - Sorry. Fuck. - Not a problem. 1573 01:21:46,611 --> 01:21:47,612 不行 No. 1574 01:21:48,655 --> 01:21:51,241 不是 我能看見他躲在桌子下邊 No, I can just see him underneath the table. 1575 01:21:52,492 --> 01:21:54,972 而且他拿手指插我下面已經五分鐘了 And he's had his fingers in my pussy for the last five minutes. 1576 01:21:55,036 --> 01:21:58,373 {\an8}阿特·加芬克爾:一位髮型狂野的歌手 1577 01:21:55,036 --> 01:21:55,830 太可怕了 It's monstrous. 1578 01:21:55,831 --> 01:21:58,373 她像是坐在了阿特·加芬克爾的肩上 It looks like she's sitting on Art Garfunkel's shoulders. 1579 01:22:06,548 --> 01:22:09,509 想出解決辦法前誰都不許走 No one leaves this room till we figure this out. 1580 01:22:11,511 --> 01:22:13,554 絞壞的雞雞 絞壞的... Mangled dicks. Mangled... 1581 01:22:13,555 --> 01:22:15,722 雞雞 雞雞 雞雞 雞雞... Dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks... 1582 01:22:15,723 --> 01:22:16,678 絞壞的雞雞 Mangled dicks. 1583 01:22:16,679 --> 01:22:18,350 絞壞的雞雞 絞壞的... Mangled dicks. Mangled... 1584 01:22:18,351 --> 01:22:20,520 - 雞雞復雞雞 - 雞雞復雞雞 - Dicks. - Dicks. 1585 01:22:20,603 --> 01:22:22,187 我找到一袋凍豌豆 還有一塊海綿 I got frozen peas and a sponge. 1586 01:22:22,188 --> 01:22:24,398 不行 米奇 有一面有鋼絲絨 No, Mikey, there's steel wool on one side. 1587 01:22:24,399 --> 01:22:25,566 媽的 你說的沒錯 Shit, you're right. 1588 01:22:25,567 --> 01:22:28,193 阿曼達 你最好保持黃色面朝上 Okay, Amanda, you're going to want to keep the yellow side up. 1589 01:22:28,194 --> 01:22:30,113 要不然非但止不了血 還會流更多血 Otherwise, there's going to be lots more blood. 1590 01:22:38,538 --> 01:22:40,540 給個金幣 我就給你吹蕭 I suck cock for gold coins. 1591 01:22:42,041 --> 01:22:43,543 我也是 So do I. 1592 01:22:56,264 --> 01:22:59,224 所以你的意思是 要是我們盡十一分的力 So what you're saying is, if we go out there and give 110 percent... 1593 01:22:59,225 --> 01:23:02,436 十一分的力! 五分! 三分! A hundred and ten percent! Fifty percent! Three percent! 1594 01:23:02,437 --> 01:23:05,648 我覺得教練想說的是 關鍵在於合作 I think what Coach is trying to say is that the key word here is "teamwork." 1595 01:23:05,732 --> 01:23:09,235 盧西斯 你能甩出你的雞雞抽丫不? Lucious, will you whip out your dick and smack this motherfucker with it? 1596 01:23:10,737 --> 01:23:12,446 - 怎麼? - 我更愛你了 - What? - I love you even more. 1597 01:23:12,447 --> 01:23:14,532 - 哦 安森- 真的 - Oh, Anson. - I do. 1598 01:23:14,991 --> 01:23:16,618 - 我也是 - 是嗎? - Me, too. - You do? 1599 01:23:21,998 --> 01:23:25,126 他是美國人民的最愛... 畢祖爾 He's America's favorite cat... Beezel 1600 01:23:28,549 --> 01:23:30,467 膠著狀態 1601 01:23:31,549 --> 01:23:33,467 雖然不太好意思 但我還是要說... I'm embarrassed to even say this, but... 1602 01:23:33,468 --> 01:23:34,636 怎麼? What? 1603 01:23:35,386 --> 01:23:37,555 艾米 自從你搬來住之後 我... Amy, ever since you moved in here, I... 1604 01:23:38,681 --> 01:23:40,474 - 怎麼? - 我更愛你了 - What? - I love you even more. 1605 01:23:40,475 --> 01:23:42,435 - 哦 安森- 真的 - Oh, Anson. - I do. 1606 01:23:42,477 --> 01:23:44,354 - 我也是 - 是嗎? - Me, too. - You do? 1607 01:23:47,732 --> 01:23:50,235 畢祖爾! 你好啊 Beezel! How are you? 1608 01:23:50,693 --> 01:23:53,071 我的小帥哥怎麼樣啊? How is my handsome little boy? 1609 01:23:59,035 --> 01:24:03,497 安森你有沒有覺得你和畢祖爾的感情... Hey, Anson, do you ever feel like your relationship with Beezel... 1610 01:24:03,498 --> 01:24:05,291 有些奇怪嗎? is a little strange? 1611 01:24:05,708 --> 01:24:06,709 艾米! Amy! 1612 01:24:07,585 --> 01:24:09,378 別告訴我你竟會吃 Please don't tell me you're one of those girls... 1613 01:24:09,379 --> 01:24:11,339 男朋友寵物的醋 that gets jealous of a guy's pet! 1614 01:24:11,464 --> 01:24:14,592 雖然這寵物超級蠢! Even if that pet is thuper thilly! 1615 01:24:15,051 --> 01:24:18,637 沒有沒有 我只是覺得他不怎麼喜歡我 No, no. I just don't think he likes me very much. 1616 01:24:18,638 --> 01:24:21,306 怎麼會 艾米 他很喜歡你! Come on, Amy. He loves you! 1617 01:24:21,307 --> 01:24:22,684 - 真的? - 當然 - Really? - Yeah. 1618 01:24:23,309 --> 01:24:24,477 坐這兒 There we go. 1619 01:24:26,771 --> 01:24:28,356 我們進行到哪兒了? Now, where were we? 1620 01:24:37,615 --> 01:24:39,033 怎麼了? What's wrong? 1621 01:24:41,619 --> 01:24:42,662 沒什麼 Nothing. 1622 01:25:29,709 --> 01:25:31,711 滾開! Get off of me! 1623 01:25:58,696 --> 01:26:00,406 - 怎麼了? - 畢祖爾... - What happened? - Beezel... 1624 01:26:00,740 --> 01:26:03,576 尿了我一身! pissed all over me! 1625 01:26:03,993 --> 01:26:05,995 哦 不對 他只是噴了你一下 Oh, no, he just sprayed you. 1626 01:26:06,120 --> 01:26:09,706 公貓有時候是會這樣的 這表示他喜歡你 It's something male cats do sometimes. It means he likes you. 1627 01:26:09,707 --> 01:26:11,583 - 他喜歡我? - 是啊 - He likes me? - Yeah. 1628 01:26:11,584 --> 01:26:14,712 或者說明他病了 兄弟你病了嗎? Or it could mean that he's sick. Buddy, are you sick? 1629 01:26:14,754 --> 01:26:17,381 安森他是故意的! Anson, he did this on purpose! 1630 01:26:17,382 --> 01:26:19,068 我逮著他在自擼 I caught him masturbating. 1631 01:26:19,069 --> 01:26:21,093 他可能只是在搞清潔 He was probably just cleaning himself. 1632 01:26:21,094 --> 01:26:24,638 對著你的泳裝照自擼! It was to pictures of you in a swimsuit! 1633 01:26:24,639 --> 01:26:27,140 貓根本不可能會看照片 Cats can't even process images in that way. 1634 01:26:27,141 --> 01:26:29,726 但他並不是普通的貓 But he is not a normal cat. 1635 01:26:29,727 --> 01:26:30,977 他當然普通 Of course he is. 1636 01:26:30,978 --> 01:26:34,107 他剛剛含了根溫度計進嘴裏 He just put a fucking thermometer in his mouth! 1637 01:26:34,315 --> 01:26:35,650 他拿那當玩具呢 He thinks it's a toy. 1638 01:26:40,405 --> 01:26:41,739 哦 畢祖爾 Oh, Beezel. 1639 01:26:43,616 --> 01:26:45,617 安森我是愛你 Anson. I love you. 1640 01:26:45,618 --> 01:26:48,620 我很愛 但是只要那隻小混蛋還在... I do, but as long as that little fucker is around... 1641 01:26:48,621 --> 01:26:50,206 我不會和你在一起的 I cannot be with you. 1642 01:26:50,373 --> 01:26:52,667 別啊 艾米 艾米 聽著 No, Amy, Amy. Look. 1643 01:26:54,001 --> 01:26:56,545 只要你高興 我會把畢祖爾送去別家養 If it'll make you happy, I'll find another home for Beezel. 1644 01:26:56,546 --> 01:26:57,755 他只是一隻貓 He's just a cat. 1645 01:26:58,965 --> 01:27:00,133 但是你... But you... 1646 01:27:01,342 --> 01:27:02,760 你是我愛的女人 you're the woman that I love. 1647 01:27:04,554 --> 01:27:07,473 - 你真的會處理掉他? - 我會的 - Really, you'd get rid of him? - I will. 1648 01:27:07,765 --> 01:27:09,474 - 我愛你 - 我愛你 - I love you. - I love you. 1649 01:27:09,475 --> 01:27:10,685 不 我更愛你 No, I love you. 1650 01:27:34,500 --> 01:27:37,044 畢祖爾 你在哪兒啊 孩子? Beezel, where are you, boy? 1651 01:27:37,378 --> 01:27:39,338 出來 快出來 你個搞老鼠的小賤人 Come out, come out, you little rat-fucker. 1652 01:27:40,173 --> 01:27:41,466 畢祖爾! Beezel! 1653 01:27:43,092 --> 01:27:46,470 慘了 我跟我媽說我會在一小時內送他過去的 Shit, I told my mother we'd have him there in an hour. 1654 01:27:46,471 --> 01:27:49,056 她願意代我們照顧他就很不錯了 She was nice enough to take him off our hands. 1655 01:27:49,432 --> 01:27:52,143 - 你能不能去外面找找? - 沒問題 - Do you mind checking outside for him? - Absolutely. 1656 01:27:52,435 --> 01:27:53,686 我上樓去找找 I'm going to go upstairs. 1657 01:27:56,731 --> 01:27:58,107 畢祖爾? Beezel? 1658 01:28:34,101 --> 01:28:37,563 你死定了 你個小賤人! That's it, you son of a bitch! 1659 01:28:41,108 --> 01:28:43,110 屁精... Cock-sucking... 1660 01:28:44,028 --> 01:28:45,737 操蛋... motherfucking... 1661 01:28:45,738 --> 01:28:48,574 被加菲貓甩了的混球! Garfield reject piece of shit! 1662 01:28:52,161 --> 01:28:54,330 去死吧 你這... Die, you... 1663 01:28:55,164 --> 01:28:58,084 地獄來的基佬貓! dick-loving devil cat! 1664 01:29:05,508 --> 01:29:08,135 怎麼了? What? 1665 01:29:09,762 --> 01:29:11,097 別看 Don't look. 1666 01:29:11,514 --> 01:29:14,308 媽媽 她在虐待那隻小貓... Mommy, she's beating that cat... 1667 01:29:15,059 --> 01:29:16,102 它都快死了! to death! 1668 01:29:17,311 --> 01:29:19,063 他想弄死我 He tried to kill me. 1669 01:29:19,355 --> 01:29:21,190 不 你們不瞭解 No, you don't understand. 1670 01:29:21,524 --> 01:29:24,068 你們不瞭解 You don't understand. 1671 01:29:28,030 --> 01:29:29,407 求你了 Please. 1672 01:29:31,492 --> 01:29:33,035 抓住她! Get her!