1
00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:03,378
So here's what you missed on Glee.

2
00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:05,004
Sue tried to shoot Brittany
out of a cannon.

3
00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:07,548
It wasn't safe,
so Brit, Santana and Quinn quit the Cheerios.

4
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,967
- Sucks for you.
- Now we get to see what
they look like in street clothes.

5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,011
Finn broke up with Rachel
because she made out with Puck,

6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,472
but then Quinn kissed Finn
after the big game,
even though she's been dating Sam.

7
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,850
Yikes!
It used to be a love triangle,
and now it's like a pentagon.

8
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,519
And that's what you missed on Glee.

9
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,774
[Puck Narrating]
We all know I'm not
the smartest guy in the world,

10
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,068
but there are two lessons
I learned the hard way.

11
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,112
One: Never punch a cop.

12
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:34,701
The other one:
You can't choose love.
Love chooses you.

13
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,954
I mean, I could have any girl I wanted,

14
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:42,125
but here I am
in the middle of Geometry
or English or something,

15
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,502
and the only girl
I've got my eye on is...

16
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,379
a whole lot of woman.

17
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,131
I owe it all to sectionals.

18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,008
We needed a 12th member,
and I told her if she joined the Glee Club,

19
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,136
I'd give her seven minutes in heaven.

20
00:00:56,181 --> 00:01:00,184
But what went down
in that janitor's closet was... epic.

21
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:04,313
- You're really not good at this
and kinda scrawny.
- You gotta be kidding me.

22
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,027
Yeah, you're not
turning me on at all.

23
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:13,614
- Later, sad sack.
- But that was only three minutes.

24
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,199
Three minutes
I'll never get back.

25
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,579
Maybe it's because
she's constantly insulting me like my mom.

26
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:21,706
[School Bell Rings]
Maybe I just dig a chick with curves.

27
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,417
But it's almost Valentine's Day,
and it's official.

28
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,878
Stare at me again,
and I'll break your nuts.

29
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,174
Also, these candies
you gave me:
They sucked.

30
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,177
- But you ate all of them.
- I had to make sure
they all sucked.

31
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,473
I'm in love with Lauren Zizes.

32
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,394
[School Bell Rings]

33
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:46,731
[Finn Narrating] It's amazing
what actually accomplishing
something does to a person.

34
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,108
I know what you're thinking...
that they're all only into me...

35
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:52,069
because I won the first
conference championship
in this school's history,

36
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:53,738
but I've changed.

37
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,782
I'm walking taller,
carrying a bigger stick...

38
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,575
and using it
to fight off the ladies.

39
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,994
- I love you, Finnie-bear.
- Thanks, Becky.

40
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:02,830
- Oh!
- Be my valentine?

41
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,958
Awesome. I'll keep you posted.

42
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,960
Copy that.

43
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:11,088
Yeah. I've been collecting
a lot of hearts lately.

44
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,091
Only question is
which one to choose.

45
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,471
Bingo.
I just need to go for this.

46
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,600
Maybe the reason it never
worked out with Rachel was
because I was never over Quinn.

47
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:26,270
I know I can pry her away from Sam
if I can get her to kiss me again.

48
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:31,192
The ridiculous thing is that
I could get every girl in this school
to kiss me but her.

49
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,777
Game on.

50
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,827
Okay, I'm all for flair,
but these Valentine Day
decorations are just tacky.

51
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,703
I mean, what the hell
is this supposed to be?

52
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:46,874
It's clearly puppy love.
It's cute. Come on.

53
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,751
[Kissing]
I love you!
Oh!

54
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,336
Adorable.
Okay,
this is creepy.

55
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,841
It's a simple excuse to sell
candy and greeting cards
on a holiday.

56
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:57,844
Not true. People have been
celebrating Valentine's Day
for centuries.

57
00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:01,973
And call me a hopeless romantic,
but it's my favorite holiday.
Really?

58
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,016
I think there's something
really great about a day...

59
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:08,312
where you're encouraged
to just lay it all on the line
and say to somebody,

60
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,481
"I'm in love with you."

61
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:13,150
You know?

62
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,070
And this year I wanna do
something really radical,
so I need your opinion on this.

63
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:21,200
[Inhales]
But there's this guy
that I sort of... like,

64
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,119
and I've only known him
for a little while,

65
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,873
but I wanna tell him that
I think my feelings are starting
to change into something...

66
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,501
deeper.
[Sighs]

67
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,670
So I have to ask,
do you think it's too much...

68
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,422
to sing to somebody
on Valentine's Day?

69
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,133
Not at all.

70
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,261
[Girl]
What can I get you?

71
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,763
A medium drip
and a grande nonfat mocha
for this guy,

72
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,309
and maybe I could
get 'em to split
one of those Cupid cookies.

73
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,352
You know
my coffee order?

74
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,896
Of course I do.

75
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,856
That'll be 8.40.

76
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,358
Don't even bother, dummy.
It's on me.

77
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,068
Keep the change.

78
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:01,574
I do believe I have
a new favorite holiday.

79
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,160
[School Bell Rings]
All right, guys.
I have one word for you.

80
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,830
- Brittany.
- Is it "love"?

81
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,332
I'm totally
gonna graduate now!

82
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,501
Valentine's Day is comin' up,
so for this week's lesson,

83
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,087
I want you guys
to pick a partner...

84
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:19,842
because you're gonna sing
to them what you think is
the world's greatest love song.

85
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:23,971
Yeah. Find a song that
communicates all the things
that love means to you.

86
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,598
- Now, partner up.
- Mr. Schue?

87
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,350
Can I say something?

88
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,269
I just wanted to point out
that, for the first time,

89
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:34,690
an entire week has gone by
without any one of us
getting Slusheed.

90
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,693
I think the fact that I led the football team
to a conference championship...

91
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,654
might have something
to do with it.

92
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:43,449
Fact is that I'm the closest
thing that this Glee Club has
to a celebrity right now,

93
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:47,453
and, just like a famous athlete,
I wanna give to a charity.

94
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,163
You guys.

95
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,249
So I'm setting up
a kissing booth
for a dollar a smooch,

96
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,835
and donating the proceeds
to Glee Club to help us...

97
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,754
Don't even act like
you're trying to help
this Glee Club out.

98
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,714
You just want
to kiss a bunch of girls.

99
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,884
I've kissed Finn,
and can I just say,
"Not worth a buck."

100
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:05,388
I would, however,
pay $100 to jiggle
one of his man boobs.

101
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,265
- Do you ever get tired
of tearing other people down?
- No, not really.

102
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,977
'Cause you always
just seem to be meddling
in everybody else's business.

103
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,895
Oh, please.
You guys love me.

104
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,981
I keep it real,
and I'm hilarious.

105
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,524
Actually, you're
just a bitch.

106
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,025
- Okay.
- Whoa, whoa.

107
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:20,611
I'm sorry.
You've just got eyes
for my man.

108
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,571
Okay, first of all,
I'm not your man.

109
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,533
And Finn is right.
All you ever do
is insult us.

110
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:29,370
Three weeks ago, you said
you were disappointed that
I didn't have a lizard baby.

111
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,623
Five minutes ago,
you said Mr. Schue belonged
in a twelve-step program.

112
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,291
- Wait, what?
- You're addicted to vests.

113
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,336
The truth is, Santana,
you can dish it out,
but you can't take it.

114
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,672
Okay, maybe you're right.
Maybe I am destined to play...

115
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,674
the title role
in the Broadway musical
version of Willow,

116
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,301
but the only job
you're gonna have
is working on a pole.

117
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:48,889
[Students Murmuring]
Fine.

118
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,850
Santana.
[School Bell Rings]

119
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:54,353
Maybe try rocking
back and forth.
People do that in movies.

120
00:05:54,438 --> 00:06:00,192
No. 'Cause I just try
to be really, really
honest with people...

121
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,446
when I think that
they suck, you know?

122
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,072
Yeah.
No one gets it.

123
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,121
I suppose you want me
to thank you for sticking up
for me today,

124
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,707
except that makes it seem like
I need somebody to stick up
for me, so...

125
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,834
Oh, no, no. Trust me.

126
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,503
I know that you don't need me
to stick up for you.

127
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,380
- You're all kinds of tough.
- Mmm. That's true.

128
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:25,676
How about you let me
take you to Breadstix
for Valentine's Day?

129
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,970
You seriously think
it's that easy?

130
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:32,349
I'm not desperate, so if you really want this,
you best come correct.

131
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:36,395
Because I spell "woman"
Z-l-Z-E-S.

132
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,106
And I need to be wooed.
You understand me?

133
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,567
Wooed.

134
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,651
Damn.

135
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,116
Hey.
Whatcha doin'?

136
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:53,245
Nothing.
Just, uh, daydreaming.
Plotting weekend outfits.

137
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,749
Well, come on.
You're gonna want to see this.

138
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,085
I've called
an emergency meeting
of The Warblers' Council.

139
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,712
Sounds serious.
Let's hope not.

140
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:05,132
I just need to ask them
a tiny, little favor.

141
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:07,009
- This emergency meeting
is called to order.
- [Twitters]

142
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,303
Junior member Blaine Anderson,
the floor is yours.

143
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,014
Esteemed Council,
I'll be brief.

144
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,141
Simply put...

145
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:19,480
- I'm in love.
- [All]
Ooh!

146
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,649
Congrats.

147
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:25,653
I'm not really good
at talking about my feelings.
I'm much better at singing them.

148
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,531
But still,
I could use a little help.

149
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,242
Which is why I'm asking
to enlist The Warblers...

150
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:34,870
to help serenade
this individual in song...

151
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,581
off-campus.

152
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,416
- What?
- Off-campus?

153
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,544
Yeah, right.
No way. Uh-uh.
Are you serious?

154
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:46,382
I... I know what I'm asking
is slightly unusual.

155
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:50,136
The Warblers haven't performed
in an informal setting since 1927,

156
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:53,430
when the Spirit of St. Louis
overshot the tarmac and plowed
through seven Warblers...

157
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:56,642
during an impromptu rendition
of "Welcome to Ohio, Lucky Lindy."

158
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,019
Why would we even consider
what you're asking?

159
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,522
I firmly believe
that our reticence
to perform in public...

160
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,274
nearly cost us a trip to regionals.

161
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,484
We're becoming privileged,
porcelain birds.

162
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,820
[All Shouting]

163
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,822
- You mock us, sir!
- [Gavel Raps]

164
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:13,576
- Thad, David,
I will have order.
- May I please say something?

165
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:19,039
With respect,
I believe Blaine
has a point.

166
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,960
The Warblers are
so concerned with
image and tradition...

167
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:28,299
that sometimes I feel like
we miss out on opportunities
to step outside our comfort zones.

168
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,719
When I was on New Directions,
we performed in front of
hostile crowds...

169
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,470
pretty much
anywhere we went.

170
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,848
I mean, mattress stores,
shopping malls.

171
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,684
- I had a cat thrown at me
in a nursing home once.
- [All Laughing]

172
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:42,980
But it-
It gave us confidence.
It kept us loose.

173
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,065
And where would
this performance
take place?

174
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,443
The Gap
at the North Hills mall.

175
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,197
I'd like to call it
"The Warblers' Gap Attack."

176
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,990
Why The Gap?

177
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,492
The guy that I like
is a junior manager.

178
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,287
[Gavel Raps]
[Wes]
All those in favor?

179
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,374
- [Kurt]
I was absolutely devastated.
- ♪♪ [Woman: '60s Pop]

180
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,711
Did he ever actually say
you two were dating?

181
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,214
Well, not in so many words.

182
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,090
Well, did he put
the moves on?

183
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:13,928
No, but we were always
singing duets, and he was
always smiling at me.

184
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,849
Oh, my God,
I made up the whole thing
in my head, didn't I?

185
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:23,812
Listen, we've all been there.
At least I have, with you.

186
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,522
I know exactly
what you mean.

187
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,651
I mean, if Finn thinks that
he's just gonna walk out
of my life, he's wrong.

188
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,528
'Cause I'm gonna go up
to that kissing booth
tomorrow with a $100 bill,

189
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,364
and he's not gonna
be able to make change.

190
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,407
Then he's gonna be forced
to kiss me 100 times,

191
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,117
- and when his lips touch mine...
- [Mercedes]
Hey.

192
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,787
He's gonna feel it.
We're supposed to be giving
Kurt advice, remember?

193
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,497
Yeah.
[Chuckles]

194
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,042
- So you are going to
The Gap Attack though, right?
- Sh-Should I?

195
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,752
Yes!
Mm-hmm.

196
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,005
Scope out the competition.
See what this guy's like.

197
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,591
You know, you two
are both so guy crazy.

198
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:57,221
Yeah. Look at me.
I don't have a date for Valentine's Day,
and I could give a rip.

199
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,139
The three of us are divas.

200
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:03,143
Look at our idols:
Whitney, Barbra,
Patti LuPone.

201
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,771
They all became stars
while they were single.

202
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:10,109
They took all the pain and loneliness,
and they put it into their music.

203
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:13,946
People can relate to it.
Everybody feels lonely.

204
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,532
Harnessing this pain
is why they became legends.

205
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,660
Why has this
never occurred to me?

206
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,289
Sometimes you have to choose
between love and talent,

207
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,793
and, as far as I'm concerned,
we all need to fly solo
for a while.

208
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:34,258
It's so nice
to be around girls
for a change.

209
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:38,345
Aw. Here.
Don't sit on the pizza.

210
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,888
[All Giggling]

211
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:45,561
♪ Are you gonna take me home tonight? ♪

212
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:50,899
♪ Oh, down beside that red firelight ♪

213
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:55,529
♪ Are you gonna let it all hang out? ♪

214
00:10:55,613 --> 00:11:00,743
♪ Fat-bottomed girls,
you make the rockin' world go round ♪

215
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,498
Hey!

216
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,251
♪ I was just a skinny lad ♪

217
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,587
♪ Never knew no good from bad ♪

218
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:16,842
♪ But I knew love
before I left my nursery ♪

219
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,803
♪ Left alone
with big fat Fanny ♪

220
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,140
♪ She was such a naughty nanny ♪

221
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:27,561
♪ Hey, big woman,
you made a bad boy outta me ♪

222
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:38,530
♪ I've been singin'
with my band ♪

223
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,033
♪ Across the water
Across the land ♪

224
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:45,120
♪ I seen every blue-eyed floozy
on the way ♪

225
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,289
♪ Hey ♪
Whoo!

226
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,625
♪ But their beauty
and their style ♪
Whoo!

227
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,002
♪ Went kinda smooth
after a while ♪

228
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:57,007
♪ Take me to them lardy ladies
every time ♪

229
00:11:57,092 --> 00:12:02,554
- Come on!
- ♪ Oh, won't you
take me home tonight? ♪

230
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:08,602
♪ Oh, down beside your red firelight ♪

231
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:12,940
♪ Are you gonna let it all hang out? ♪

232
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:17,820
♪ Fat-bottomed girls,
you make the rockin' world go round ♪

233
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,447
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Fat-bottomed girls, you make the... ♪

234
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:24,618
♪ Rockin' world go round ♪

235
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,829
Get on your bikes and ride!

236
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,251
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

237
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:36,922
- ♪ Oh, yeah
Them fat-bottomed girls ♪
- ♪ Fat-bottomed girls ♪

238
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,384
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪

239
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:49,351
[All Cheering, Applauding]

240
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,321
So, um,
what did you think?

241
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,782
I mean, that's kind of
my love song to you, 'cause...

242
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,951
you know,
you're a little
on the heavier side,

243
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:11,540
but, like the song says,
you know, I'm kind of
into it, so...

244
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,042
That was the first time
anyone ever sang me a love song.

245
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,338
And it made me feel like crap.

246
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:25,220
- [School Bell Rings]
- [Girls Shrieking]

247
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,557
I want tongue.

248
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,727
Uh, thanks, Becky.

249
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,687
- [Kisses Loudly]
- Yes!

250
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:37,149
[Dings]
Oh. Sorry, ladies.
Brush and floss time.

251
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,528
I gotta keep up with the oral
hygiene if I'm gonna satisfy
all of you. Sorry.

252
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,447
I know why
you're doing this.

253
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,574
You know
I'm the only girl in school
that won't kiss you,

254
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,576
and you think
the peer pressure
will get to me.

255
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,536
Well, it is sort of uncool
that you...

256
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,623
you're too uptight to spend
a buck for a good cause
like Glee Club.

257
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,458
I'm not kissing you again.

258
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,628
What are you so afraid of?

259
00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,589
Leading you on,
hurting my boyfriend.

260
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,883
Your boyfriend's a boy.

261
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,718
Tell me you don't
wanna kiss me right now.

262
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,888
[Inhales]
I can't do this.

263
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:20,442
I saw it.
You guys' faces were, like,
right up next to each other.

264
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,611
Kissing distance.

265
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,031
What are these things?

266
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,575
They're called records.
People used to listen
to music on them.

267
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,286
I'm looking for a classic
love song to sing to you
for our assignment,

268
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,288
because,
despite your confusion
about the matter,

269
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,707
you are the only guy
I'm ever within
kissing distance of.

270
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,836
Okay, so answer me this then.
Why haven't you kissed Finn
at his booth yet?

271
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,089
Okay, first you're all
up in my business
for kissing Finn,

272
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,299
- and now you're pissed at me
for not kissing him.
- It's odd!

273
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,802
- Something seems fishy.
I mean...
- [Laughing] This is insane.

274
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,387
Shh!

275
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,598
- Everyone thinks I'm dumb.
- Not... everyone.

276
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:54,893
But I'm not.
At least, not about you.

277
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,312
You play it cool,
but you're ambitious.

278
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,565
You like being the queen bee,

279
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:02,693
and you think being
with star quarterback Finn
is gonna put you up there...

280
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,861
whether you're wearing
a Cheerio's uniform or not.

281
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,239
- I'm pretty, but I ain't dumb.
- Fine.

282
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:10,492
Right after Glee rehearsal,
I'm kissing Finn.

283
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,913
[School Bell Rings]

284
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,498
Thanks.

285
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,378
- Are you sure
you can handle this?
- Oh, absolutely.

286
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:24,214
No, I... I've decided
that I'm better off
without you.

287
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,216
Not without you specifically,

288
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,886
but without any man
who's gonna keep me from
achieving my goals of stardom.

289
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,222
Sweet. Uh.

290
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:35,142
Well, we should
probably kiss.
There's a lineup.

291
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,523
What-
What the hell?
On the cheek?

292
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,443
W-Wait.
I thought you said
you were over me.

293
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:48,071
I am, but I still...
I still want a real kiss.
That was not a dollar kiss.

294
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,657
I knew you were lying about
being through with love
and all that stuff.

295
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,702
Okay, fine.
I still love you, okay?
Is that what you wanna hear?

296
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,336
Why can't you
just forgive me?

297
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,921
You cheated on me.
That means something.

298
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,341
What does it mean?
That I was stupid?
That I was angry?

299
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:11,511
I don't care about Puck.
I don't care about anybody
but you.

300
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,146
It's Valentine's Day.

301
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:25,150
Oh, yeah. I ordered it
for you for Christmas
before we broke up.

302
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,860
Just open it.

303
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:40,165
I think you're right
about wanting to be alone
for a while.

304
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,335
'Cause let's face it, Rachel,
you're better than everyone
in this school.

305
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,254
You don't need me
or any other guy
to anchor you to Lima.

306
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,965
You're a real star.

307
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,926
You need to shine.

308
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,220
Just because
I can't be with you...

309
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,472
doesn't mean
I don't believe in you.

310
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,312
[Case Closes]
Thank you.

311
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:05,190
[School Bell Rings]

312
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,070
It's weird.

313
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:13,156
Who'd have guessed that
the quiet, skinny Asian guy
and the kid in the wheelchair...

314
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:16,159
would end up dating
two of the raddest girls
in school?

315
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,370
Yeah.
No jealousy,
no drama.

316
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,413
Nope.

317
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,998
I don't know how we did it.
I do.

318
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,543
We're dope.
♪♪ [Pop]

319
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:29,005
You know, you...
You make me feel
so good inside.

320
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:32,384
[Chuckles]
I always wanted a girl
just like you.

321
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:36,096
Such a P.Y.T.
Pretty Young Thing.

322
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,931
Ooh!

323
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,852
♪ Where did you come from,
baby? ♪

324
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,062
♪ And, ooh
won't you take me there? ♪

325
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,981
♪ Right away
Won't you, baby? ♪

326
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,067
♪ Tenderoni you've got to be ♪

327
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,696
♪ Spark my nature, sugar
Fly with me ♪

328
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:57,325
♪ Don't you know now
is the perfect time? ♪

329
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,412
♪ We can make it right
Hit the city lights ♪

330
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:04,624
♪ Then tonight
ease the lovin' pain ♪

331
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,711
♪ Let me take you to the max ♪

332
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,796
♪ I want to love you ♪

333
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,757
- [Glee Club]
♪ P.Y.T. ♪
- ♪ Pretty Young Thing ♪

334
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,383
♪ You need some lovin' ♪

335
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,469
♪ T.L.C. ♪
♪ Tender Lovin' Care ♪

336
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:18,680
♪ And I'll take you there ♪

337
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,766
♪ Girl, ooh, ooh ♪

338
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,684
♪ I want to love you ♪

339
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,936
- ♪ P.Y.T. ♪
- ♪ Pretty Young Thing ♪

340
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,688
♪ You need some lovin' ♪

341
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,107
- ♪ T.L.C. ♪
- ♪ Tender Lovin' Care ♪

342
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,526
♪ And I'll take you there ♪

343
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,321
♪ Hee ♪

344
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,783
[Robotic Voice]
♪ Pretty Young Thing ♪
[Both Grunt]

345
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,368
♪ What do you say? ♪
[Panting]

346
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,830
♪ Pretty Young Things,
repeat after me ♪

347
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,959
♪ Sing "Na na na" ♪
[All]
♪ Na na na ♪

348
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:51,838
- ♪ "Na na na na" ♪
- ♪ Na na na na ♪

349
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:55,175
♪ Sing "Na na na" ♪
♪ Na na na ♪

350
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,761
- ♪ "Na na na na na" ♪
- ♪ Na na na na na ♪

351
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,764
♪ I'll take you there ♪

352
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,182
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

353
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:04,726
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ P.Y.T. ♪

354
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:08,855
♪ Ah, baby ♪
♪ T.L.C. ♪

355
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,690
♪ Ah, baby ♪♪

356
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:15,570
- That's my man,
and his legs don't work.
- Tenderoni!

357
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,739
I'm so in love,
I may just start crying.

358
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,492
[School Bell Rings]

359
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:25,622
- What's that?
- It's a receipt.
I went to Jared.

360
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,249
You can reimburse me.

361
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,501
We'll have dinner
at Breadstix, and then
we can consider this settled.

362
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,337
Um, no.
And consider what settled?

363
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:35,257
Look,
you made your point.
I'm sort of a bitch.

364
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,967
But I'm willing to change.

365
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,718
I won't tell Lauren
to look out for poachers...

366
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,929
who might mistake her
for the endangered white rhino.

367
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:45,141
I heard that.
Don't make me rip
that weave out ya' head.

368
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,519
Oh, this is not
gonna be good.

369
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:51,898
Hello, Lauren.
You are a beautiful person.
Thank you.

370
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,609
Now get out of my way, please,
afores I ends you.

371
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,736
You don't wanna push me.

372
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,865
Oh.
[Forced Laugh]
But see, I sorta do.

373
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,451
I'm from a part of town
called Lima Heights Adjacent.

374
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,704
You know where that is,
Poppin' Fresh?

375
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:09,124
It's on the wrong side
of the tracks.

376
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,173
[Shouting]

377
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,177
Aaah!

378
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:24,139
Ow! Come on!
[Whimpers]

379
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,765
[Screams]

380
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,602
[Shouts]

381
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,981
[Straining]

382
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,775
[Grunts]

383
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,537
Hey! Knock it off
and get going!

384
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,958
[Panting]
That's how we do it
in Lima Heights.

385
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:55,629
- [Beiste]
Let's get you to the nurse.
- [Santana Groaning]

386
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:59,049
Please go out with me.
Just please.

387
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,718
You make
a formal presentation,

388
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,596
and I'll consider it.

389
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,725
[School Bell Rings]

390
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:15,649
[Sam]
Wait. Hold on.
I wanna see this.

391
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,902
- Pervert?
- I'd prefer "chaperone"
and also "boyfriend."

392
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,548
- Satisfied?
- Yeah.

393
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,509
Mmm.
Let's go.

394
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:44,970
So I took a bunch of those
records you were lookin' at
in the library,

395
00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:48,056
and I'm gonna load them
into my iTunes.
Hey, I forgot my purse.

396
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:52,727
[Whispers]
Meet me tomorrow afternoon
in the auditorium.

397
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,732
Fireworks.

398
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:04,781
That's him.
The blond one folding sweaters.

399
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:07,826
[Kurt]
Mmm. I can see the appeal.
That's quite a head of hair.

400
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:09,619
[Blaine]
His name is Jeremiah.

401
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:13,623
If he and I got married,
The Gap would give me
a 50% discount.

402
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,626
This is insane.
I don't know what I'm doing.

403
00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:19,129
We haven't even really
gone out on a date.
We... We shouldn't do this.

404
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,215
Okay, come on, come on.
Man up. You're amazing.
[Sighs]

405
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,217
He's gonna love you.

406
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:32,642
[Warblers Together]
♪ Vum vum vum vum ♪

407
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:38,940
♪ Vum vum vum vum ♪
♪ Oh ♪

408
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,945
[Warblers Vocalizing
Throughout]
♪ Baby girl, where you at? ♪

409
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,905
♪ Got no strings
Got men attached ♪

410
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:49,117
♪ Can't stop that feelin'
for long, no ♪

411
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,618
♪ Mmm ♪

412
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:53,079
♪ You makin' dogs wanna beg ♪

413
00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:54,706
♪ Breaking them off
your fancy legs ♪

414
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:58,835
♪ But they make you feel
right at home, now ♪

415
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:00,253
♪ Oh ♪

416
00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:04,716
♪ See all these illusions
just take us too long ♪

417
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,011
♪ And I want it bad ♪

418
00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:11,723
♪ Because you walk pretty
Because you talk pretty
'Cause you make me sick ♪

419
00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:15,935
♪ And I'm not leavin'
till you're leavin' ♪

420
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:20,106
♪ Oh, I swear there's something
when she's pumpin'
Asking for a raise ♪

421
00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:22,692
♪ Well, does she want me
to carry her home now? ♪

422
00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:25,236
♪ So does she want me
to buy her things? ♪

423
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,155
♪ On my house
On my job ♪

424
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:31,659
♪ On my loot, shoes,
my shirt, my crew, my mind,
my father's last name ♪

425
00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:33,703
♪ When I get you alone ♪
[Warblers]
♪ Alone ♪

426
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:35,872
♪ When I get you
you'll know, babe ♪
♪ Know ♪

427
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:38,416
♪ When I get you alone ♪
♪ Alone ♪

428
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:40,627
♪ When I get you alone ♪

429
00:23:43,214 --> 00:23:44,714
♪ Oh, come on ♪

430
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,885
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

431
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:50,762
♪ Baby girl, you the shh ♪

432
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,139
♪ That makes you my equivalent ♪

433
00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:56,184
♪ Well, you can keep your toys
in the drawer tonight ♪

434
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:59,521
♪ All right
All my dogs talkin' fast ♪

435
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,773
♪ Ain't you got
some photographs? ♪

436
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:04,943
♪ 'Cause you shook that room
like a star, now ♪

437
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,403
♪ Yes, you did
Yes, you did ♪

438
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:11,783
♪ All these intrusions
just take us too long ♪

439
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:14,702
♪ And I want you so bad ♪

440
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:18,331
♪ Because you walk city
Because you talk city
'Cause you make me sick ♪

441
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:22,877
♪ And I'm not leavin'
till you're leavin' ♪

442
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:27,257
♪ So I pray to something
she ain't bluffin'
Rubbin' up on me ♪

443
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:29,175
♪ Well, does she want me
to make a vow?
Check it ♪

444
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:31,386
♪ Well, does she want me
to make it now? ♪

445
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,721
♪ On my house
On my job ♪

446
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:38,601
♪ On my loot, shoes,
my voice, my crew, my mind,
my father's last name ♪

447
00:24:38,686 --> 00:24:40,478
♪ When I get you alone ♪
♪ Alone ♪

448
00:24:40,563 --> 00:24:42,939
♪ When I get you
you'll know, babe ♪
♪ Know ♪

449
00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:45,108
♪ When I get you alone ♪
♪ Alone ♪

450
00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:47,652
♪ When I get you alone ♪

451
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:55,410
♪ Oh, when I get you alone ♪♪

452
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:58,163
[All Applauding]

453
00:24:58,247 --> 00:25:00,415
Was it too much?

454
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:03,918
Yeah,
it was too much.

455
00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:09,215
Jeremiah. Hey.

456
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,760
- What the hell were you doing?
- What?

457
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,470
I just got fired.

458
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:18,683
You can't just
bust a groove in the middle
of somebody else's workplace.

459
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,977
- But they loved it.
- Well, my boss didn't.

460
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:25,106
Neither did I.
No one here knows I'm gay.

461
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:28,568
Can I be honest?
Just with the hair,
I think they do.

462
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:31,446
Blaine,
let's just be clear here.

463
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:34,449
You and I got coffee twice.
We're not dating.

464
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:38,578
If we were,
I'd get arrested,
'cause you're underage.

465
00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:52,133
[School Bell Rings]
Oh, yeah. That's my ear.
I love it. I like it.

466
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:56,679
- [Giggling]
- [Santana Narrating]
Oh, gross.

467
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:58,223
How is this possible?

468
00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:00,141
I'm the hottest piece of action
at this school,

469
00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:03,019
and here I am on Valentine's,
single.

470
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:06,064
[Scoffs]
Whatever.
I'll just marry an NFL player.

471
00:26:06,148 --> 00:26:07,649
They're super reliable.

472
00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:14,572
Wait, that's... weird.

473
00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:17,033
Quinn's wearing
her queen bitch smirk,

474
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:22,163
and Finn only wears
that gassy infant look when
he feels guilty about something.

475
00:26:22,248 --> 00:26:26,376
Holy, sweet hell!
They're fooling around!

476
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:29,462
I know what cheating looks like.
I do it all the time.

477
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,256
Huh.

478
00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:36,344
Well, I think it's time to do
what Santana does best.

479
00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:37,929
Revenge.

480
00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:41,432
I've always loved volunteering
at the local hospital.

481
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:44,352
And not just because
of the sexy candy striper outfit.

482
00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:47,730
Giving back is so important.

483
00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:51,067
Excuse me.
Are there any sick students
I can help you tend to?

484
00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:55,947
Wes Fahey's down with mono,
and he's waiting for his mom
to pick him up.

485
00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:57,824
But you shouldn't go in there.
He's highly contagious.

486
00:26:57,908 --> 00:27:01,995
Please.
I've had mono so many times,
it turned into stereo.

487
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,000
Hi.

488
00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:11,296
So I'm gonna need
to borrow your germs.

489
00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:19,387
[Sighs]

490
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:22,598
Thanks.

491
00:27:27,021 --> 00:27:28,896
Mmm.
Whoa.

492
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:31,274
- Whoa.
- Sorry about that.
I couldn't help myself.

493
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:34,360
If I have anything,
I hope it's not contagious.

494
00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:36,446
Wh-What?

495
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,285
Hi.

496
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:44,912
[School Bell Rings]
What is this place?

497
00:27:44,997 --> 00:27:46,706
It's a library.

498
00:27:48,042 --> 00:27:49,542
Haven't you been
in here before?

499
00:27:50,169 --> 00:27:51,669
No? Okay.

500
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:53,921
I don't understand.
You said you wanna
formally ask me out,

501
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:57,050
but I see no envelope of cash,
no muffin basket.

502
00:27:57,134 --> 00:27:59,969
- I sang to you.
- An offensive song.

503
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:04,349
[Sighs]
I don't think you're ready
for this jelly.

504
00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:06,934
Wait. I mean,
let's be honest here.

505
00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:10,188
You look...
the way you look,

506
00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:12,023
and I'm embracing that.

507
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:13,775
I mean,
it turns me on, babe.

508
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,818
I look like America looks.

509
00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:19,739
And like America,
I need more than just a song
to get my juices flowin'.

510
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:29,248
Lauren Zizes,
will you go to Breadstix
with me tomorrow night?

511
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,376
Tomorrow's not Valentine's Day.

512
00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:33,419
Tomorrow's the pre-date.

513
00:28:33,504 --> 00:28:36,964
'Cause our mouths are gonna
be too busy mackin' out on
Valentine's Day to eat anything.

514
00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:39,425
[Laughs]

515
00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:43,179
I like your style,
Puckerman.
I dine at 8:00.

516
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:48,226
Now get outta here
before I change my mind.

517
00:28:48,352 --> 00:28:50,436
[School Bell Rings]
Good-bye.

518
00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,732
Sorry,
I was at church.

519
00:28:54,817 --> 00:28:57,318
- Praying for the strength
to come?
- Not to.

520
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:04,700
You realize this
is making me a cheater.

521
00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:08,454
The thing
that hurt you so badly...

522
00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:10,957
that it made you
break up with me...

523
00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:12,834
and Rachel.

524
00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:18,965
You know why it hurt so bad
when you guys cheated on me?

525
00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:20,925
- 'Cause it meant
you didn't love me.
- That's not true.

526
00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:24,512
No, at least not enough
to not wanna hurt me.
That's the thing about cheating.

527
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,640
When you really love someone,
you do anything
to keep them safe.

528
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:29,976
- I love Sam.
- No, you don't.

529
00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:31,936
Or else you wouldn't
have come here.

530
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,689
Fine.
I think I love him.

531
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,024
No matter what happens
between us,

532
00:29:37,151 --> 00:29:39,861
I'm not gonna break up with Sam
until I know for sure
one way or another.

533
00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:41,237
Okay.

534
00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:43,573
Don't you think you can love
two people at one time?

535
00:29:43,657 --> 00:29:47,702
Not totally.
You have to choose
eventually.

536
00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,537
Not yet.

537
00:29:55,377 --> 00:29:56,961
[Cash Register Beeping]

538
00:29:57,045 --> 00:30:01,799
Ugh. Don't they have anything
here that isn't covered
with stupid little hearts?

539
00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:05,595
- Gross.
- Well, you've certainly
changed your tune.

540
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:09,182
I don't think
I've ever made that big
a fool of myself,

541
00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:13,728
which is really saying
something, because I've
performed at theme parks.

542
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:17,607
[Sighs]
I just- I can't believe
I made it all up in my head.

543
00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:21,194
Okay, can I
ask you something?

544
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:25,323
Because we've always been
completely honest
with each other.

545
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:27,325
You and I... we hang out.

546
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:31,454
We sing flirty duets together.
You know my coffee order.

547
00:30:31,538 --> 00:30:33,998
Was I supposed to think
that that was nothing?

548
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,042
What do you mean?

549
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:44,008
I thought the guy
that you wanted to ask out
on Valentine's Day... was me.

550
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,890
Wow.

551
00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:54,936
I really am clueless.

552
00:30:57,397 --> 00:30:59,065
Look, Kurt.

553
00:31:00,901 --> 00:31:03,778
I don't know what I'm doing.

554
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:07,532
I pretend like I do,
and I know how to act
it out in song,

555
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,451
but the truth is,

556
00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:15,623
I've never really been
anyone's boyfriend.

557
00:31:17,501 --> 00:31:19,001
Me neither.

558
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:23,881
Let me be really clear
about something.

559
00:31:23,966 --> 00:31:26,842
I really, really
care about you,

560
00:31:26,927 --> 00:31:30,263
but as you and about 20
mortified shoppers saw,

561
00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:32,515
I'm not very good
at romance.

562
00:31:34,977 --> 00:31:37,144
I don't wanna screw this up.

563
00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:42,692
So it's just like
When Harry Met Sally,
but I get to play Meg Ryan.

564
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:44,151
Deal.

565
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:50,157
Don't they, uh,
get together in the end?

566
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:53,286
Could I get a nonfat mocha
and a medium drip for my friend,
Billy Crystal?

567
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:56,414
Ah, you know
my coffee order.

568
00:31:56,498 --> 00:32:00,042
You know what?
I think I got something
for us to do on Valentine's Day.

569
00:32:06,258 --> 00:32:08,926
[Sighs]
Thanks for doin' this.

570
00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:11,095
- It really takes the sting off.
- It's cool.

571
00:32:11,179 --> 00:32:14,932
- My dad's a drug addict,
so losers make me horny.
- I'm not a loser.

572
00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:17,143
This is the first time
I've ever been stood up.

573
00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:19,478
Must be some chick
to blow you off.

574
00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:23,774
Rochelle, I've been covering
your section for 15 minutes.

575
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:26,694
Your break's over,
and your husband called.

576
00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,948
[School Bell Rings]
[Sighs]

577
00:32:31,033 --> 00:32:32,908
Well, I did it.

578
00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:36,746
I kissed every girl
in the school and raised
$324 for the Glee Club.

579
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:42,376
All right, Finn, thanks.
That'll pay for half a ticket
to nationals, so...

580
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,754
still a long way to go.
[Scattered Applause]

581
00:32:44,838 --> 00:32:46,672
You all right?
Okay.

582
00:32:46,757 --> 00:32:49,008
Now I believe
it's time to hear...

583
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:52,261
what the world's
greatest love song means
to Miss Tina Cohen-Chang.

584
00:32:52,346 --> 00:32:54,472
- Come on up.
- Whoo!

585
00:32:54,556 --> 00:32:56,515
Is anyone else hot?
It's really stuffy in here.

586
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,060
This is for you, Mike.
Happy Valentine's Day.

587
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:09,403
♪ My funny valentine ♪

588
00:33:10,781 --> 00:33:15,576
♪ Sweet, comic valentine ♪

589
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:23,209
♪ You make me smile
with my heart ♪

590
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:32,259
[Voice Shaking]
♪ Your looks are laughable ♪

591
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:38,432
[Weeping]
♪ Unphotographable ♪

592
00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:46,023
♪ Yet you're my favorite
work of art ♪

593
00:33:46,108 --> 00:33:49,235
[Continues Sobbing]

594
00:33:50,821 --> 00:33:53,781
♪ Is your figure
less than Greek? ♪

595
00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:59,245
♪ Is your mouth a little weak? ♪

596
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:03,374
♪ When you open... ♪

597
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,713
[Gasping]
♪ Are you smart? ♪

598
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:11,215
♪ Stay— ♪
Oh, God.

599
00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:14,343
♪ Valentine ♪
[Sobbing]

600
00:34:14,428 --> 00:34:15,970
♪ Stay ♪

601
00:34:18,265 --> 00:34:23,227
♪ Every day is Valentine's Day
when I'm with you ♪♪

602
00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:26,564
- I'm so overcome with love.
- Okay, wow. That was... powerful.

603
00:34:26,648 --> 00:34:29,024
- [Tina]
I love you, Mike Chang.
- Almost too powerful.

604
00:34:29,109 --> 00:34:32,528
Mr. Schue, can I be excused?
I don't feel well.

605
00:34:32,612 --> 00:34:35,114
Me either.
I feel sick.

606
00:34:35,198 --> 00:34:36,699
Let me guess.

607
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:39,160
You have a sore throat,
your glands are swollen,
and you're feverish.

608
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:42,913
Yeah. Yeah, which is why
I need to go to the nurse.

609
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:45,416
It sounds like you have mono.

610
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:47,251
Otherwise known as
"the kissing disease."

611
00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:50,921
But you know what
really helps spread it?
A little tongue.

612
00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:55,092
Which is weird,
because it sounds like
Quinn here has it too.

613
00:34:55,177 --> 00:34:57,303
I was there when they kissed.
It was just a peck.

614
00:34:57,387 --> 00:35:01,307
So how about we stop
talking about tonguing,
and Finn and I go to the nurse?

615
00:35:01,391 --> 00:35:04,727
You know what?
I think that is a capital idea.

616
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,442
I've cheated twice in my life.

617
00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:13,694
The first time, I got pregnant.

618
00:35:13,779 --> 00:35:17,031
The second time, I got mono.

619
00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:20,326
[Inhales]
I think the universe is trying
to tell me something.

620
00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:25,039
Maybe. But I think Sam
likes you enough to believe
whatever story you told him.

621
00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,208
Santana is such a bitch.

622
00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:30,836
[Curtain Opens]
It looks like mono to me.
I called your mothers.

623
00:35:30,921 --> 00:35:34,048
You can hang here
till they pick you up,
but no kissing.

624
00:35:39,179 --> 00:35:41,013
I'm not done with us yet.

625
00:35:43,225 --> 00:35:45,684
You have to stop.

626
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:50,815
Nothing can happen between us
until I figure out what's
going on with me and Sam,

627
00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:53,150
and you figure out
what's going on
with you and Rachel.

628
00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:57,029
But... nothing's...

629
00:35:57,113 --> 00:35:58,697
Nothing's going on
with me and Rachel.

630
00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:03,911
All I know is that
when I don't catch you
staring at me,

631
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,788
you're staring at her.

632
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:09,834
[School Bell Rings]

633
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,713
- Hello, Lauren.
- What's with the Chilly Willy,
Puckerman?

634
00:36:15,799 --> 00:36:17,424
Honestly!

635
00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:19,885
I'm not used to
getting stood up.

636
00:36:19,970 --> 00:36:22,513
Last night?
Breadstix?

637
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:24,640
Oh, we had a date,
didn't we?

638
00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:26,892
Look, I get it.

639
00:36:26,977 --> 00:36:29,478
You've been hurt by guys
before, but I'm telling you,
I'm not like that.

640
00:36:29,563 --> 00:36:31,438
First of all,
you got a girl
pregnant last year,

641
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,191
so, uh, yeah, you are.

642
00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:37,444
And "B": What makes you
assume guys treat me badly?
I can take care of myself.

643
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,363
That's what I like
about you.

644
00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:42,199
I'm not into you
because you...
have curves.

645
00:36:42,284 --> 00:36:45,786
I... What I like is that
you're a girl who's an even
bigger badass than me.

646
00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:50,374
Can I be honest with you?
I like you.

647
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:52,042
I used to think
you were smokin',

648
00:36:52,127 --> 00:36:54,920
but a lot of that
had to do with the fact that
I thought you were mixed race,

649
00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:57,089
and that never fails
to get me goin'.

650
00:36:57,173 --> 00:37:00,301
Here's the thing, Puckerman.
I'm not just lookin' for
somebody to fool around with,

651
00:37:00,385 --> 00:37:03,304
so if you're really into me,
you gotta take it slow.

652
00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:06,307
I suppose I could
give that a shot.

653
00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,434
Then you're on
for Valentine's Day.

654
00:37:08,518 --> 00:37:10,769
As friends.

655
00:37:10,854 --> 00:37:13,314
[School Bell Rings]

656
00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:20,404
- Where's Quinn?
- Uh.

657
00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:23,908
Her mom picked her up
a few hours ago.

658
00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:26,327
Quinn really is
very pretty.

659
00:37:28,038 --> 00:37:30,789
You don't
have to do that, you know.

660
00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:33,000
No. I would do it
for anyone.

661
00:37:34,461 --> 00:37:36,337
She's prettier than me.

662
00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:40,716
Would you stop?
You're beautiful.

663
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,762
I know she is.

664
00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:47,765
It meant so much to me
that you chose me over her.

665
00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:50,893
Girls like me
don't get chosen over girls
like her very much.

666
00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:56,023
Did you kiss her?
Like Santana said?

667
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,151
Yeah, yeah. But I...
I just needed to get it
out of my system.

668
00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:01,528
So what did it feel like...

669
00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:04,156
when you kissed her?

670
00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:07,701
Fireworks.

671
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:10,329
Did you see fireworks
when you kissed me?

672
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:20,881
- Rachel, wait.
- No.

673
00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:22,883
It's good.
Thank you.

674
00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:26,679
Look, you've given me
the strength to move on.

675
00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:29,723
I know now that there's...
nothing here for me anymore.

676
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,558
That's not the truth.

677
00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,769
I still...

678
00:38:33,853 --> 00:38:36,563
I'm just...
I'm so confused
in my head right now.

679
00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:38,732
No, it's okay.
Look, I understand.

680
00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:42,403
And now I'm free
to pursue my dreams without
anything holding me back.

681
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:47,408
And you've actually inspired
my song selection for this
week's love song assignment.

682
00:38:48,702 --> 00:38:50,160
Feel better, Finn.

683
00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:53,789
♪♪ [Pop]

684
00:38:58,128 --> 00:39:02,006
♪ Do you ever feel
like a plastic bag? ♪

685
00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:03,716
♪ Drifting through the wind ♪

686
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,592
♪ Wanting to start again ♪

687
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:09,763
♪ Do you ever feel
Feel so paper-thin? ♪

688
00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:13,350
♪ Like a house of cards
one blow from caving in ♪

689
00:39:13,435 --> 00:39:17,229
♪ Do you ever feel
already buried deep? ♪

690
00:39:17,313 --> 00:39:21,567
♪ Six-feet-under screams
but no one seems
to hear a thing ♪

691
00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:25,070
♪ Do you know that there's
still a chance for you? ♪

692
00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:27,197
♪ 'Cause there's
a spark in you ♪

693
00:39:27,282 --> 00:39:31,994
♪ You just gotta ignite the light ♪

694
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:35,539
♪ And let it shine ♪

695
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:39,543
♪ Just own the night ♪

696
00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:43,005
♪ Like the Fourth of July ♪

697
00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:47,051
♪ 'Cause, baby, you're a firework ♪

698
00:39:47,135 --> 00:39:50,846
♪ Come on, show 'em
what you're worth ♪

699
00:39:50,930 --> 00:39:54,391
♪ Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh" ♪

700
00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:58,145
♪ As you shoot across
the sky-y-y ♪

701
00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:02,524
♪ Baby, you're a firework ♪

702
00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:06,320
♪ Come on
Let your colors burst ♪

703
00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:09,615
♪ Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh" ♪

704
00:40:09,699 --> 00:40:13,368
♪ You're gonna leave 'em
goin', "Oh, oh, oh" ♪

705
00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:17,873
♪ Baby, you're a firework ♪

706
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:22,002
♪ Come on
Let your colors burst ♪

707
00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:25,047
♪ Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh" ♪

708
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:30,260
♪ You're gonna leave 'em
goin', "Oh, oh, oh" ♪

709
00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:33,013
♪ Boom, boom, boom ♪

710
00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:37,684
♪ Even brighter than
the moon, moon, moon ♪

711
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:40,771
♪ Boom, boom, boom ♪

712
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:44,858
♪ Even brighter than
the moon, moon, moon ♪♪

713
00:40:52,742 --> 00:40:54,284
Mind if we join you?

714
00:40:54,369 --> 00:40:57,371
[Sighs]
I would love that.

715
00:40:57,497 --> 00:41:01,416
[Feedback]
Testing, one, two, three.
Testing, one, two, three.

716
00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:04,795
All right. So happy
Valentine's Day, everybody.
[Chuckles]

717
00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:07,631
For those of you
Breadstix patrons
who don't know who I am,

718
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:12,719
I am Kurt Hummel,
and welcome to my first ever
Lonely Hearts Club dinner.

719
00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:14,680
Whether you are
single with hope,

720
00:41:14,764 --> 00:41:18,809
or madly in love and
are here because I forced you
to come out and support me,

721
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,603
sit back and enjoy.

722
00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:25,023
And to all
the singles out there,
this is our year.

723
00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:30,320
[Harmonizing]
♪ How can I tell you ♪
♪ I can't explain ♪

724
00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:33,740
♪ About my loved one? ♪
♪ The feeling's plain to me
Say, can't you see? ♪

725
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:39,413
♪ How can I tell you ♪
♪ Ah, he gave me more
He gave it all to me ♪

726
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,832
♪ About my loved one? ♪
♪ Say, can't you see? ♪

727
00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:47,504
♪ You'd think that people
would have had enough
of silly love songs ♪

728
00:41:47,589 --> 00:41:49,256
♪♪ [Warblers Vocalizing
Throughout]

729
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:53,594
♪ But I look around me
and I see it isn't so ♪

730
00:41:54,596 --> 00:41:56,471
♪ Oh, no ♪

731
00:41:56,556 --> 00:42:02,269
♪ Some people
wanna fill the world
with silly love songs ♪

732
00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:07,649
♪ And what's wrong with that? ♪

733
00:42:08,401 --> 00:42:11,778
♪ I'd like to know ♪

734
00:42:11,863 --> 00:42:18,577
♪ 'Cause here I go again ♪

735
00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:34,301
♪ I love you ♪

736
00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:37,638
♪ Love doesn't come
in a minute ♪

737
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,473
[Warblers]
♪ Doesn't come in a minute ♪

738
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:43,352
- ♪ Sometimes
it doesn't come at all ♪
- ♪ Doesn't come at all ♪

739
00:42:43,436 --> 00:42:47,105
- ♪ I only know that
when I'm in it ♪
- ♪ Only know when I'm in it ♪

740
00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,066
- ♪ It isn't silly ♪
- ♪ At all ♪

741
00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:51,026
- ♪ No, it isn't silly ♪
- ♪ At all ♪

742
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:55,864
♪ Love isn't silly at all ♪

743
00:42:55,949 --> 00:42:57,574
♪ Not at all ♪

744
00:42:57,659 --> 00:43:01,036
♪♪ [Warblers Vocalizing
Throughout]

745
00:43:04,207 --> 00:43:17,511
♪ I love you ♪

746
00:43:19,639 --> 00:43:22,599
[Harmonizing]
♪ I can't explain ♪
♪ How can I tell you ♪

747
00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:26,979
♪ The feeling's plain to me
Say, can't you see? ♪
♪ About my loved one? ♪

748
00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:32,734
- ♪ Ah, she gave me more
She gave it all to me ♪
- ♪ How can I tell you ♪

749
00:43:32,819 --> 00:43:35,153
- ♪ Now, can't you see? ♪
- ♪ About my loved one? ♪

750
00:43:35,238 --> 00:43:37,239
♪♪ [Vocalizing]

751
00:43:40,702 --> 00:43:44,371
♪♪ [Ends]
[Cheering]

752
00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:56,925
♪♪ [Vocalizing]

753
00:43:57,010 --> 00:44:01,430
♪♪ [Harmonic Vocalizing]

754
00:44:19,032 --> 00:44:20,407
♪♪ [Ends]

755
00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:29,041
English - US - PSDH