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00:00:00,335 --> 00:00:01,844
So here's
what you missed on Glee:
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00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,836
Rachel's got the lead
in Funny Girl on Broadway,
3
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,771
and Santana doesn't know
what she wants to do.
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00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,506
Bad Yeast goes scat
with Yeast-i-stat.
5
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,275
The New Directions! are getting
ready for college...
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00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,877
Artie's going
to film school in Brooklyn
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and Blaine auditioned for NYADA.
8
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,113
Kurt formed a band,
but he's afraid Starchild's
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00:00:14,147 --> 00:00:15,348
trying to steal the spotlight.
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00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:16,849
Which is easy
when you dress like
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a glam rock Ebenezer Scrooge.
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Thank you for your time,
Starchild,
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00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:20,686
but it's not a good fit.
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00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,655
And that's what
you missed on Glee.
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¿Perdón? Perdón?
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Señorita.
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Esos huevos no esta caliente.
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Excuse me?
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Oh, you speak English.
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I thought you were Mexican.
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- I'm from Ohio.
- Well, I didn't know
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there were Mexicans in Ohio.
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Okay. These eggs are cold.
I need new ones.
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There's steam
coming off of them.
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I happen to know that
eggs carry salmonella
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and I like them
cooked extra hot
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to kill any parasites.
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Rápido, por favor.
29
00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:02,980
Okay, I was certain
that you were going to go
30
00:01:03,005 --> 00:01:04,805
Lima Heights Adjacent
and just throw those eggs
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on that lady's face just now.
32
00:01:06,475 --> 00:01:07,642
No.
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00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:08,809
I need this job.
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00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:10,378
I'm saving up to buy a noose
35
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to hang myself with.
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00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:12,747
Hey.
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Wait, what's going on?
Talk to me.
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It's not what I expected,
you know? I'm awesome.
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I thought I'd come here and
everyone would see that, too.
40
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,821
Wait, what do you mean?
You got a national commercial
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00:01:20,856 --> 00:01:22,423
within like a month
of being here.
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Yes, and now everywhere I go,
I am known as the girl
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with the raging yeast infection.
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The other day some customers
made me take their toast back
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because looking at me made them
lose their appetite
46
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,000
for any bread products.
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I'm sorry I'm complaining.
I'm fine.
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No, you're not. Look, it's
okay to complain to me,
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It means we're friends.
50
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:41,142
I just have this weird guilt trip
thing about being friends with you,
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00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:43,277
because I was so awful
to you in high school.
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Quinn and Brit hated you, too,
and that's mostly
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just because you sucked so bad
and you walked with that weird
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"feet pointing out" thing.
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00:01:49,751 --> 00:01:51,419
I made Quinn
look like the boss,
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but I was really running
the "Hate on Rachel" parade.
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It's fine, okay?
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I forgive you, and you just
have to forgive yourself.
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High school's over and it's just
me, you and Kurt here now.
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Yes, and out of all three
of us, I am crapping
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the bed the hardest.
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I may be on top right now,
but one day it'll be you.
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You know, what you need right
now is some good old pampering.
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Oh, are you treating at
the Korean spa? Better.
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I'm gonna be on the cover
of New York magazine.
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Oh, my God.
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00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:17,178
Oh, my God, that's awesome.
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00:02:17,212 --> 00:02:18,613
I'm totally pretending
not to be jealous.
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00:02:18,647 --> 00:02:20,147
No, I'm just kidding,
that's really cool.
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Well, it's just something that
the publicist for the show
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00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:24,986
set up to, like, introduce me
to the world and I just,
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I feel like this is my moment
where I've really arrived.
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I'm really, really
happy for you.
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00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,592
But what does this have to
do with me being pampered?
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00:02:31,627 --> 00:02:33,628
Okay, so there's gonna be
models at the shoot and I think
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I have enough juice to ask
if you can be one of them.
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00:02:35,897 --> 00:02:37,765
And you can get, like, get
your hair done and your nails
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00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:40,334
and your makeup and there's all
these free clothes. Are you in?
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- Hells yes, I'm in.
- Yay.
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Right after I spit...
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00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:47,441
in these eggs.
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00:02:48,477 --> 00:02:49,677
Heisten.
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I really hope that I
can be as cool as you
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00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:53,948
when the roles are reversed.
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You're a really good friend.
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Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
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I'm really proud of us.
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00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,826
- Why's that? - 'Cause
even after you and I
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broke up, we were
able to stay friends
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00:03:08,263 --> 00:03:10,398
and continue our tradition
of Tuesday lunch together.
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00:03:10,432 --> 00:03:13,934
It's also a good way to avoid
the cafeteria on Taco Tuesdays
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when they use Grade "D" prison
meat that can legally contain
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00:03:16,838 --> 00:03:18,406
up to 5% insect larvae.
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00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,707
Still.
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00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,176
I'm gonna miss this next
year when you're at Brown
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00:03:22,210 --> 00:03:24,979
and I'm at film school
in Brooklyn.
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00:03:27,315 --> 00:03:29,483
I got wait-listed at Brown.
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00:03:29,518 --> 00:03:31,652
Oh, you'll get in. You
know how many students
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00:03:31,687 --> 00:03:33,120
make it off the wait list?
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00:03:33,155 --> 00:03:34,388
Two percent.
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00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,957
The only other schools I
applied to were Ohio State
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00:03:36,992 --> 00:03:38,826
and that dumb vet school.
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00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:41,362
I really wanted to get out
of this place, you know?
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00:03:41,396 --> 00:03:43,731
Expand my horizons.
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00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,700
I don't think that's
in the cards for me now.
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00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:46,901
Well, listen.
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We have, what, a couple
more Tuesdays at McKinley?
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Let's make them count.
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00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,673
From now until graduation,
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Tuesday lunch is about music
that'll cheer you up
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00:03:55,911 --> 00:03:57,278
because the only thing
you'll be doing next year
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00:03:57,312 --> 00:03:59,747
is knitting scarves for those
chilly Ivy League winters.
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00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,450
That's a really
flimsy segue, Artie.
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00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:11,092
♪ Whenever I call you friend ♪
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00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:15,463
♪ I begin to think
I understand ♪
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00:04:15,497 --> 00:04:17,298
♪ Anywhere we are ♪
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00:04:17,332 --> 00:04:20,601
♪ You and I have always been ♪
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00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,137
♪ Forever and ever ♪
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00:04:23,171 --> 00:04:27,675
♪ I see myself
within your eyes ♪
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00:04:27,709 --> 00:04:31,946
♪ And that's all I need
to show me why ♪
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00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:36,150
♪ Everything I do
always takes me home to you ♪
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00:04:36,184 --> 00:04:38,519
♪ Forever and ever ♪
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00:04:38,553 --> 00:04:41,088
♪ Now I know my life
has given me ♪
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00:04:41,123 --> 00:04:43,791
♪ More than memories ♪
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00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:47,795
♪ Day by day ♪
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00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,897
♪ We can see ♪
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00:04:49,931 --> 00:04:57,138
♪ In every moment there's
a reason to carry on ♪
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00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:00,775
♪ Sweet love showin' us
a heavenly light ♪
129
00:05:00,809 --> 00:05:04,445
♪ I've never seen
such a beautiful sight ♪
130
00:05:04,479 --> 00:05:08,249
♪ Sweet love flowin'
almost every night ♪
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00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:10,751
♪ I know forever
we'll be doin' it ♪
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00:05:10,786 --> 00:05:15,790
♪ Sweet love showin' us
a heavenly light ♪
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00:05:15,824 --> 00:05:18,926
♪ I've never seen
such a beautiful sight ♪
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00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,797
♪ Sweet love flowin'
almost every night ♪
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00:05:22,831 --> 00:05:26,367
♪ I know forever we'll be doin'
it, doin' it, doin' it ♪
136
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,804
♪ Sweet love ♪
137
00:05:29,838 --> 00:05:31,872
♪ Such sweet love ♪
138
00:05:31,907 --> 00:05:33,374
♪ Source of light in my life ♪
139
00:05:33,408 --> 00:05:36,677
♪ Everything I do
brings it back to you ♪
140
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:41,549
♪ Whenever I call you friend ♪
♪ Sweet love ♪
141
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:44,985
♪ Sweet love... ♪
♪ Sweet love is going on... ♪
142
00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:46,253
♪ Sweet love... ♪
143
00:05:46,288 --> 00:05:48,956
♪ Coming back. ♪
144
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,827
Ugh!
145
00:05:52,861 --> 00:05:55,763
Close the door
when you sing crap like that.
146
00:05:55,797 --> 00:05:57,865
Hey, Becky, can we
help you with something?
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00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,867
Yeah, quit staring at my boobs.
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00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,002
Tina, Artie...
Principal Sylvester
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00:06:02,037 --> 00:06:04,205
wants to see you in her office.
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00:06:07,275 --> 00:06:08,442
Stumbles.
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00:06:08,476 --> 00:06:10,477
Tina Warrior Princess.
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00:06:10,512 --> 00:06:12,112
Graduation is fast approaching
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00:06:12,147 --> 00:06:13,781
and it is time
to award the title
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00:06:13,815 --> 00:06:16,884
of Senior class valedictorian.
155
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,453
Now, as you are,
respectively, a loner Asian
156
00:06:19,487 --> 00:06:21,088
who has trouble making friends
157
00:06:21,122 --> 00:06:22,756
and a nasal,
Muppety disabled kid
158
00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:25,292
in a wheelchair, it should
come as no surprise
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00:06:25,327 --> 00:06:27,862
to you both that you're
at the head of your class.
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00:06:27,896 --> 00:06:29,597
In fact...
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00:06:29,631 --> 00:06:30,931
you're tied for number one.
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00:06:30,966 --> 00:06:32,299
Tied? How is that possible?
163
00:06:32,334 --> 00:06:33,968
Identical GPAs,
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00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,202
extracurriculars,
165
00:06:35,237 --> 00:06:37,438
and you both have
perfect attendance.
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00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:40,608
Now, unlike some members
of the Glee Club who come and go
167
00:06:40,642 --> 00:06:42,743
for months at a time
with no explanation,
168
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:46,647
you two losers are
always in that choir room.
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00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:49,116
Even if, for an entire week,
the only thing you have to do
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00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:50,751
is say something
inconsequential, like,
171
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:51,952
"Kitty's right,"
172
00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:54,154
or "Blaine,
are you serious?"
173
00:06:54,189 --> 00:06:56,323
Wait, we can't both
be valedictorian.
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00:06:56,358 --> 00:06:57,591
Not in my world.
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00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,793
And that is why we're
going to settle this
176
00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:02,029
with a friendly
little competition.
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00:07:02,931 --> 00:07:05,399
As you know, the valedictorian
178
00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,434
gives the speech at graduation.
179
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,169
At the end of this week,
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00:07:09,204 --> 00:07:12,039
you will both
deliver your speeches
181
00:07:12,073 --> 00:07:15,542
to a blue ribbon panel
of idiots of my choosing.
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00:07:15,577 --> 00:07:16,710
Whoever wins...
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00:07:16,745 --> 00:07:18,445
will be crowned valedictorian.
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00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,914
That sound fair?
185
00:07:19,948 --> 00:07:21,181
No, actually, it doesn't.
186
00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,517
Life isn't fair, Abrams.
187
00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,119
Good, then it's settled.
188
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,855
Oh, and, uh, let this stand
as a warning to you both.
189
00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:29,957
If during one of your speeches,
190
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,860
you decide to abandon
your prepared text
191
00:07:32,894 --> 00:07:35,296
in favor of a musical number,
because the emotions
192
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,197
you're feeling
are just so complex
193
00:07:37,232 --> 00:07:39,066
they can only
be expressed in song,
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00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:41,936
I promise you I will dedicate
my life to making sure
195
00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:45,005
that every beverage you drink,
until the day you die,
196
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,507
will have a just a...
197
00:07:46,541 --> 00:07:49,009
tiny, little bit
of my pee in it.
198
00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:53,447
Oh, my God, can you believe
all the amazing dresses
199
00:07:53,481 --> 00:07:54,815
that they pulled
for this shoot?
200
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,717
And all these girls
are like the new up-and-comers
201
00:07:56,751 --> 00:07:58,218
from Juilliard and Harvard and Yale.
Mm-hmm.
202
00:07:58,253 --> 00:08:00,220
Okay, that girl over there... look,
but don't really look... Oh.
203
00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:01,789
She just got the lead
on AMC's new show
204
00:08:01,823 --> 00:08:03,223
about Victorian prostitutes.
205
00:08:03,258 --> 00:08:05,092
I'm so nervous, but I'm nervous
because I'm excited
206
00:08:05,126 --> 00:08:07,161
or because I'm scared, this is so amazing.
Berry, Berry.
207
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,295
You look amazing.
Okay.
208
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:09,563
Own it.
All right.
209
00:08:09,597 --> 00:08:11,231
You are exactly where
you're supposed to be.
210
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:12,433
- Thank you.
- Okay, good luck.
211
00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:13,567
Okay, here I go.
212
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:15,235
- Tell me if I look good.
- Okay.
213
00:08:21,309 --> 00:08:23,043
♪ You can be amazing ♪
214
00:08:23,078 --> 00:08:26,914
♪ You can turn a phrase
into a weapon or a drug ♪
215
00:08:26,948 --> 00:08:29,683
♪ You can be the outcast
or be the backlash ♪
216
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,052
♪ Of somebody's lack of love ♪
217
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,924
♪ Or you can start speaking up ♪
218
00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:38,926
♪ Nothing's gonna hurt you ♪
219
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,062
♪ The way that words do when
they settle 'neath your skin ♪
220
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:45,466
♪ Kept on the inside
and no sunlight ♪
221
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,634
♪ Sometimes the shadow wins ♪
222
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,072
♪ But I wonder what
would happen if you ♪
223
00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:54,008
♪ Say what you wanna say ♪
224
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:58,445
♪ And let the words fall out ♪
225
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,983
♪ Honestly, I wanna
see you be brave ♪
226
00:09:03,018 --> 00:09:04,885
♪ With what you want to say ♪
227
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:09,256
♪ And let the words fall out ♪
228
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:10,557
♪ Honestly ♪
229
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,460
♪ I wanna see you be brave ♪
230
00:09:13,495 --> 00:09:15,195
♪ Just wanna see you ♪
231
00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:18,799
♪ I just wanna see you ♪
232
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:20,734
♪ Just wanna see you ♪
233
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,971
♪ I want to see you be brave
234
00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:28,776
♪ And since your
history of silence ♪
235
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:31,211
♪ Won't do you any good ♪
236
00:09:31,246 --> 00:09:34,381
♪ Did you think it would? ♪
237
00:09:34,416 --> 00:09:39,353
♪ Let your words be
anything but empty ♪
238
00:09:39,387 --> 00:09:43,891
♪ Why don't you
tell them the truth? ♪
239
00:09:43,925 --> 00:09:47,161
♪ Say what you wanna say ♪
240
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:50,064
♪ And let the words fall out ♪
241
00:09:50,098 --> 00:09:52,266
♪ Honestly ♪
242
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,668
♪ I wanna see you be brave ♪
243
00:09:54,702 --> 00:09:56,937
♪ With what you wanna say ♪
244
00:09:56,971 --> 00:10:00,441
♪ And let the words fall out ♪
245
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,975
♪ Honestly ♪
246
00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:05,546
♪ I wanna see you be brave ♪
247
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:07,147
♪ Just wanna see you ♪
248
00:10:07,182 --> 00:10:10,250
♪ I just wanna see you ♪
249
00:10:10,285 --> 00:10:12,986
♪ Just wanna see you ♪
250
00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:15,122
♪ I wanna see you be brave ♪
251
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,491
♪ Just wanna see you ♪
252
00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:20,994
♪ I just wanna see you ♪
253
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:23,397
♪ Just wanna see you ♪
254
00:10:23,431 --> 00:10:26,266
♪ I just wanna
see you be brave ♪
255
00:10:26,301 --> 00:10:28,836
♪ I just wanna see you ♪
256
00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:32,139
♪ I wanna see you be brave. ♪
257
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,674
Santana.
258
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:37,277
Come on.
259
00:10:37,312 --> 00:10:38,879
Go to wardrobe, get dressed.
260
00:10:40,548 --> 00:10:42,216
Okay.
261
00:10:43,718 --> 00:10:45,752
No need to write a speech.
I wrote it for you.
262
00:10:45,787 --> 00:10:48,021
"In the hallowed halls
of McKinley High,
263
00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:51,558
"one name rises to the top:
Tina Cohen-Chang.
264
00:10:51,593 --> 00:10:53,894
"There is no other choice
for valedictorian.
265
00:10:53,928 --> 00:10:55,762
I humbly drop out."
266
00:10:55,797 --> 00:10:57,030
No me gusta.
267
00:10:57,065 --> 00:10:58,999
Artie, I need valedictorian
268
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,634
in order to guarantee
my acceptance to Brown.
269
00:11:00,668 --> 00:11:01,868
If I don't get in, I'm screwed.
270
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,303
Please take the fall for me.
271
00:11:03,338 --> 00:11:05,506
No. It's not my fault you didn't
apply to enough schools.
272
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,175
Maybe I was too busy making
costumes and building sets
273
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,043
and swaying in the background
while everybody else
274
00:11:10,078 --> 00:11:11,545
was front and center.
You always get
275
00:11:11,579 --> 00:11:13,714
everything you want,
and I get nothing.
276
00:11:13,748 --> 00:11:16,150
Woman, are you insane?
You just won Prom Queen.
277
00:11:16,184 --> 00:11:17,451
Which counts against me.
278
00:11:17,485 --> 00:11:19,052
I read online
that college admission directors
279
00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:20,521
think that high school
Prom Queens
280
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,055
are self-centered
attention whores.
281
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:23,223
Exactly.
282
00:11:23,258 --> 00:11:24,458
Excuse me?
283
00:11:25,493 --> 00:11:26,860
It's time you heard this.
284
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,228
The whole school's
been talking about it.
285
00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:30,898
Everyone's convinced
that sometime between junior
286
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,833
and senior year,
an alien invaded your body
287
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:34,234
and made you shallow
and desperate.
288
00:11:34,269 --> 00:11:36,036
Says the nerd
who's dating a Cheerio!
289
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,705
Says the hag
who vapo-raped Blaine.
290
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,440
That was blown totally out
of proportion, and, yeah,
291
00:11:40,475 --> 00:11:42,442
I had a little crush on a guy
who could never love me,
292
00:11:42,477 --> 00:11:43,777
but is that any different
293
00:11:43,811 --> 00:11:45,712
than you having a crush
on a girl who can't possibly
294
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:46,613
love you?
295
00:11:46,648 --> 00:11:48,015
Kitty does love me.
296
00:11:48,049 --> 00:11:50,017
Please.
She's obviously using you
297
00:11:50,051 --> 00:11:52,486
for some kind
of sick charity project,
298
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,421
and you're using her, too.
299
00:11:54,455 --> 00:11:56,023
That's what your speech
can be about,
300
00:11:56,057 --> 00:11:59,026
how you're making a sad,
last-ditch effort to be popular
301
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:01,361
by dating
McKinley's biggest bitch.
302
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,865
Actually, Tina,
you're McKinley's biggest bitch.
303
00:12:04,899 --> 00:12:06,233
And I'm gonna win this.
304
00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:16,446
I don't know, Kurt, don't you
think you might be overreacting?
305
00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:18,438
If anything, I'm underreacting.
306
00:12:18,473 --> 00:12:20,707
Starchild is trying
to take over the band.
307
00:12:20,742 --> 00:12:23,376
The soul of Pamela Lansbury
is hanging in the balance.
308
00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:25,178
It all started when Elliott
scored an interview
309
00:12:25,213 --> 00:12:27,514
in The Village Voice,
and he said,
310
00:12:27,548 --> 00:12:29,649
"I feel so alive right now.
311
00:12:29,684 --> 00:12:31,651
Nothing means more to me
than my band."
312
00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:35,255
That's great, isn't it? He's
calling it his band, Blaine.
313
00:12:35,289 --> 00:12:37,657
And then, not five minutes ago,
do I get a text from him
314
00:12:37,692 --> 00:12:39,126
that says, "Oh, my God,
315
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,328
I just wrote a new song
that we have"... in all caps...
316
00:12:41,362 --> 00:12:44,931
"got to do."
I mean, he's a psychopath.
317
00:12:44,966 --> 00:12:47,134
Kurt, I gotta go. But, look,
if you're really concerned
318
00:12:47,168 --> 00:12:49,536
about Elliot, don't let on,
even for a second.
319
00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:51,738
Remember the old adage,
keep your friends close
320
00:12:51,773 --> 00:12:53,073
and your enemies closer.
321
00:12:53,107 --> 00:12:54,808
I love you.
322
00:12:56,711 --> 00:12:59,813
All right, ladies, remember,
we got band rehearsal tonight.
323
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,415
Kurt, I'm sorry,
I just... I can't.
324
00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:03,917
- What?
- Wait, what? Why?
325
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:06,052
Santana, don't start
with me right now.
326
00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:07,754
They're auditioning
my understudy today,
327
00:13:07,789 --> 00:13:10,590
and I have to be there.
I told them it's ridiculous
328
00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:12,859
because it's not like I'm ever
gonna miss a performance
329
00:13:12,894 --> 00:13:15,662
or anything. Just... It must be
an insurance thing, right?
330
00:13:15,696 --> 00:13:18,498
Hey, well, hold up. If Berry's
not coming, then neither am I.
331
00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:20,901
Guys, we're in a band.
We have to practice.
332
00:13:20,935 --> 00:13:22,736
Kurt, I would think
that you would understand
333
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:24,738
all the emotional stress
that I'm under right now,
334
00:13:24,772 --> 00:13:27,407
and I need you guys to just
be a little supportive.
335
00:13:27,441 --> 00:13:31,978
It's just...
it's really hard being a star.
336
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,884
Okay, guys, it's coming down
to the wire.
337
00:13:37,919 --> 00:13:39,686
We have a very important
decision to make.
338
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,522
Yes, my wig is either gonna be
Anna Wintour chic
339
00:13:42,557 --> 00:13:43,723
or Pam Grier fabulousness.
340
00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:45,492
I'm not ready
to make the decision.
341
00:13:45,526 --> 00:13:48,395
Okay. So, we have two solos
at nationals.
342
00:13:48,429 --> 00:13:50,096
And since Blaine
was voted the new Rachel,
343
00:13:50,131 --> 00:13:52,098
obviously he's got one.
So...
344
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:53,967
who is gonna step up
and take center stage?
345
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,036
I'd like to nominate myself.
346
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:57,704
Shocker.
And you think you're gonna
347
00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,606
carry us to victory?
Actually, Mr. Shue,
348
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,708
I think I'd like to compete
with Tina for that second spot.
349
00:14:01,742 --> 00:14:04,544
Well, I think we should have a
sing-off, right here, right now.
350
00:14:04,579 --> 00:14:05,679
A little help, guys?
351
00:14:05,713 --> 00:14:09,149
♪ Ooh, bop
352
00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:16,556
♪ No, you're never
gonna get it ♪
353
00:14:16,591 --> 00:14:18,992
♪ Ow ♪
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
354
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:21,294
♪ No, not this time ♪ No,
you're never gonna get it ♪
355
00:14:21,329 --> 00:14:24,064
♪ My love ♪
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
356
00:14:24,098 --> 00:14:26,399
♪ Ooh, bop ♪
357
00:14:26,434 --> 00:14:31,171
♪ I remember how it used to be ♪
358
00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:32,806
♪ You never was this nice ♪
359
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,142
♪ You can't fool me ♪
♪ Ooh, bop ♪
360
00:14:36,177 --> 00:14:40,146
♪ Now you're talkin'
like you made a change ♪
361
00:14:40,181 --> 00:14:44,818
♪ The more you talk,
the more things sound the same ♪
362
00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:47,787
♪ What makes you think
you can just walk back ♪
363
00:14:47,822 --> 00:14:49,990
♪ Into her life ♪
364
00:14:50,024 --> 00:14:52,692
♪ Without a good fight? ♪
365
00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:54,995
♪ Oh
366
00:14:55,029 --> 00:14:57,497
♪ I just sit back
and watch you make a fool ♪
367
00:14:57,531 --> 00:14:59,666
♪ Of yourself ♪
368
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,369
♪ 'Cause you're just wasting
your time ♪
369
00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,004
♪ Oh ♪
370
00:15:04,038 --> 00:15:05,438
♪ No, you're never
gonna get it ♪
371
00:15:05,473 --> 00:15:08,141
♪ Not this time ♪
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
372
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,010
♪ My love ♪ No, you're
never gonna get it ♪
373
00:15:10,044 --> 00:15:13,079
♪ Had your chance to make a change ♪
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
374
00:15:13,114 --> 00:15:14,981
♪ No, you're never
gonna get it ♪
375
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:17,117
♪ Not this time ♪
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
376
00:15:17,151 --> 00:15:19,786
♪ My love ♪ No, you're
never gonna get it ♪
377
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,589
♪ Had your chance to make a change ♪
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
378
00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:24,224
♪ Ah ♪
379
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:25,625
♪ It doesn't matter ♪
380
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:29,162
♪ What you do or what you say ♪
381
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,897
♪ She don't love you ♪
382
00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:33,700
♪ No way ♪
383
00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:38,672
♪ Maybe next time you'll give
your woman a little respect ♪
384
00:15:38,706 --> 00:15:41,641
♪ So you won't be
hearing her say ♪
385
00:15:41,676 --> 00:15:42,709
♪ No way! ♪
386
00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:44,844
And now it's time
for a breakdown.
387
00:15:44,879 --> 00:15:46,813
♪ Never gonna get it,
never gonna get it ♪
388
00:15:46,847 --> 00:15:49,282
♪ Never gonna get it,
never gonna get it ♪
389
00:15:49,317 --> 00:15:51,418
♪ Never gonna get it,
never gonna get it ♪
390
00:15:51,452 --> 00:15:54,454
♪ Never gonna get it ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, bup, oh ♪
391
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:56,323
♪ Never gonna get it,
never gonna get it ♪
392
00:15:56,357 --> 00:15:58,725
♪ Never gonna get it,
never gonna get it ♪
393
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:01,428
♪ Never gonna get it,
never gonna it ♪
394
00:16:01,462 --> 00:16:03,129
♪ Never gonna get it ♪
395
00:16:03,164 --> 00:16:05,031
Whoa! ♪ Never get it ♪
396
00:16:05,066 --> 00:16:06,166
Whoa! Hey!
397
00:16:12,506 --> 00:16:14,741
Artie, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to.
398
00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:20,046
There, buddy.
It's fine.
399
00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:22,082
I'm fine.
400
00:16:27,555 --> 00:16:30,123
When the girls bailed,
I almost canceled rehearsal,
401
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,959
but then I thought, why can't
it just be the boys today?
402
00:16:32,994 --> 00:16:35,295
Why not use this
as a great opportunity
403
00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:37,430
to get to know
my new friend Elliott?
404
00:16:37,465 --> 00:16:39,933
- Cucumber sandwich?
- Thank you. Yeah.
405
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:43,069
So, let's break it down,
Andy Cohen-style.
406
00:16:43,104 --> 00:16:45,705
How long have you been
performing?
407
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:47,874
'Cause you are
extremely confident
408
00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:49,409
out there on that stage.
409
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,611
Like you've been doing it
your whole life.
410
00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:54,080
A-And dare I say it? You just
might be the breakout star
411
00:16:54,115 --> 00:16:55,081
of Pamela Lansbury.
412
00:16:55,116 --> 00:16:56,583
Yeah, well, I am.
413
00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,151
Sorry?
414
00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,719
Come on now. I mean...
415
00:16:59,754 --> 00:17:01,654
everybody's bringing
something essential to the mix.
416
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:04,491
Right, right. Said Beyoncé right
before she left Destiny's Child.
417
00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:07,060
She was better...
But you were saying something.
418
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,896
Um, yeah, I guess the first time
onstage was... fifth grade.
419
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:12,165
I played Schroeder in You're
a Good Man, Charlie Brown.
420
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,667
How does one go
from Schroeder to Starchild?
421
00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:17,070
What is that journey like?
Well...
422
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:20,507
Ruthless and-and full of
ambition, I-I, I imagine...
423
00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:22,442
qualities that I admire,
of course, and, you know,
424
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,177
wish I had more of myself.
425
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:27,313
Um, I started with, um,
singing lessons and piano.
426
00:17:27,348 --> 00:17:29,282
And-and I just started
taking guitar.
427
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,885
Would you teach me?
Have you ever played?
428
00:17:31,919 --> 00:17:34,788
Oh, yeah, a little. I-I think
I know the-the basic chords,
429
00:17:34,822 --> 00:17:37,791
but I'm nowhere near your level
of virtuosity.
430
00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:40,894
I'm not that good. Oh, will you
stop downplaying yourself?
431
00:17:40,928 --> 00:17:44,898
You... are amazing.
432
00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:47,567
You could easily be
the front man of our band
433
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:48,835
if you wanted to be. Do you?
434
00:17:48,869 --> 00:17:50,303
Yes.
435
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,072
Come again?
436
00:17:52,106 --> 00:17:55,475
You know, Kurt, uh,
if you really want to learn,
437
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,143
you should... you should get
your own guitar.
438
00:17:57,178 --> 00:17:59,879
You know, something
that suits your personality
439
00:17:59,914 --> 00:18:02,215
and your style. You know,
having the right instrument
440
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,650
makes a huge difference.
441
00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:05,752
Great.
442
00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:09,022
♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪
443
00:18:09,056 --> 00:18:13,426
♪ Wake unto me... ♪
444
00:18:13,461 --> 00:18:15,762
Thank you.
445
00:18:15,796 --> 00:18:17,063
We will call.
446
00:18:17,098 --> 00:18:19,065
Thank you.
447
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,934
Woof.
448
00:18:20,968 --> 00:18:23,203
I mean, no wonder you
hired me for this part.
449
00:18:23,237 --> 00:18:24,871
No one can sing in this town.
450
00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:28,208
I hired you
because you are spectacular.
451
00:18:28,242 --> 00:18:29,709
And incredibly healthy.
452
00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,344
I plan on wearing one
of those surgical masks
453
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,879
that Chinese people wear
once we're up and running
454
00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:34,247
because I do not get sick,
455
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,982
which is why I don't
need an understudy.
456
00:18:36,016 --> 00:18:37,650
The union says
you need an understudy.
457
00:18:37,685 --> 00:18:40,453
So does the producer, so does
our insurance company, so do I.
458
00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:42,722
Fine. How many more
people do we have left?
459
00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:44,457
Just a few.
460
00:18:44,492 --> 00:18:46,226
Santana Lopez.
461
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:47,360
What?
462
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:56,803
♪ Don't tell me not to live,
just sit and putter ♪
463
00:18:56,837 --> 00:18:59,506
♪ Life's candy and the
sun's a ball of butter ♪
464
00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:05,545
♪ Don't bring around a cloud
to rain on my parade ♪
465
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,847
♪ Don't tell me not to fly ♪
466
00:19:07,882 --> 00:19:10,250
♪ I've simply got to,
if someone takes a spill ♪
467
00:19:10,284 --> 00:19:11,885
♪ It's me and not you ♪
468
00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:16,990
♪ Who told you you're allowed
to rain on my parade? ♪
469
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:20,126
♪ I'll march my band out ♪
470
00:19:20,161 --> 00:19:23,163
♪ I'll beat my drum ♪
471
00:19:23,197 --> 00:19:26,232
♪ And if I'm fanned out ♪
472
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:28,434
♪ Your turn at bat, sir ♪
473
00:19:28,469 --> 00:19:30,670
♪ At least I didn't fake it ♪
474
00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:33,373
♪ Hat, sir,
I guess I didn't make it ♪
475
00:19:33,407 --> 00:19:36,576
♪ But whether I'm the rose
of sheer perfection ♪
476
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:40,046
♪ Or freckle on the nose
of life's complexion ♪
477
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:45,585
♪ The cinder or the shiny apple
of its eye ♪
478
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:48,655
♪ I gotta fly once,
I gotta try once ♪
479
00:19:48,689 --> 00:19:51,024
♪ Only can die once ♪
480
00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:52,992
♪ Right, sir? Oh, life is ♪
481
00:19:53,027 --> 00:19:55,161
♪ Juicy, juicy and you'll see ♪
482
00:19:55,196 --> 00:19:58,965
♪ I gotta have my bite, sir ♪
483
00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:01,668
♪ Get ready for me, love,
'cause I'm a comer ♪
484
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:04,938
♪ I simply gotta march,
my heart's a drummer ♪
485
00:20:04,972 --> 00:20:08,107
♪ Don't bring around a cloud
to rain on my ♪
486
00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:10,743
♪ Parade ♪
487
00:20:10,778 --> 00:20:14,347
♪ I'm gonna live and live now ♪
488
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:17,217
♪ Get what I want, I know how ♪
489
00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:20,420
♪ One roll
for the whole shebang ♪
490
00:20:20,454 --> 00:20:23,089
♪ One throw,
that bell will go clang ♪
491
00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:26,125
♪ Eye on the target and wham ♪
492
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,028
♪ One shot, one gunshot
and bam ♪
493
00:20:29,063 --> 00:20:34,400
♪ Hey, Mr. Arnstein ♪
494
00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:35,183
♪ Here I am ♪
495
00:20:41,108 --> 00:20:46,713
♪ I'll march my band out ♪
496
00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:51,451
♪ I'll beat my drum ♪
497
00:20:51,485 --> 00:20:55,488
♪ And if I'm fanned out ♪
498
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:58,791
♪ Your turn at bat, sir,
at least I didn't fake it ♪
499
00:20:58,826 --> 00:21:00,793
♪ Hat, sir,
I guess I didn't make it ♪
500
00:21:00,828 --> 00:21:03,563
♪ Get ready for me, love,
'cause I'm a comer ♪
501
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:05,698
♪ I simply gotta march,
my heart's a drummer ♪
502
00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:10,470
♪ Nobody, no, nobody is ♪
503
00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:14,574
♪ Gonna rain ♪
504
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:17,510
♪ On my ♪
505
00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:18,156
♪ Parade! ♪
506
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:31,658
Holy moly.
That was amazing.
507
00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:33,660
Who are you? I mean,
508
00:21:33,694 --> 00:21:34,861
who submitted you?
509
00:21:34,895 --> 00:21:36,329
Well, actually, I heard
about this audition
510
00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:37,630
from Rachel.
511
00:21:37,665 --> 00:21:39,165
We're roommates, and we went
to high school together.
512
00:21:39,199 --> 00:21:41,401
One high school produced
both of you?
513
00:21:41,435 --> 00:21:43,169
Rachel, why didn't you
tell me about her?
514
00:21:45,005 --> 00:21:47,006
Uh...
515
00:21:52,496 --> 00:21:54,864
Ooh, I'm so excited that
we're doing this, Elliott.
516
00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:56,999
And after this, I thought
we could second-act Pippin.
517
00:21:57,034 --> 00:21:58,868
Ooh. And we can go to Angus's
for after-theater cocktails.
518
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:01,237
Oh, yeah. Looking for
anything in particular?
519
00:22:01,271 --> 00:22:03,706
Uh, yeah. My friend's in
the market for a new guitar.
520
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,074
Don't touch the axes.
521
00:22:05,108 --> 00:22:08,344
The ax... Are those the axes?
What? I don't...
522
00:22:08,378 --> 00:22:09,445
Hey, man,
523
00:22:09,479 --> 00:22:11,080
do you know that song
by The Darkness...
524
00:22:11,114 --> 00:22:13,382
- - "I Believe in a Thing Called Love"?
Uh...
525
00:22:20,657 --> 00:22:25,494
♪ Can't explain all the feelings
that you're making me feel ♪
526
00:22:27,965 --> 00:22:30,132
♪ My heart's in overdrive ♪
527
00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:33,402
♪ And you're behind
the steering wheel ♪
528
00:22:36,907 --> 00:22:40,710
♪ Touching you-ooh-ooh ♪
529
00:22:40,744 --> 00:22:43,312
♪ Touching me-ee-ee ♪
530
00:22:43,347 --> 00:22:45,214
♪ Touching you ♪
531
00:22:45,248 --> 00:22:48,317
♪ God, you're touching me ♪
532
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,755
♪ I believe
in a thing called love ♪
533
00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:54,457
♪ Just listen
to the rhythm of my heart ♪
534
00:22:54,491 --> 00:22:56,492
♪ There's a chance
we could make it now ♪
535
00:22:56,526 --> 00:22:58,294
♪ We'll be rocking
till the sun goes down ♪
536
00:22:58,328 --> 00:23:01,931
♪ I believe
in a thing called love ♪
537
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:05,001
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, yeah ♪
538
00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:06,402
Come on.
539
00:23:06,436 --> 00:23:10,940
♪ I wanna kiss you every minute,
every hour, every day ♪
540
00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:17,546
♪ You got me in a spin
but everything is A-okay ♪
541
00:23:21,918 --> 00:23:25,187
♪ Touching you-ooh-ooh ♪
542
00:23:25,222 --> 00:23:29,125
♪ Touching me-ee-ee ♪
543
00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:33,262
♪ Touching you,
God, you're touching me ♪
544
00:23:35,098 --> 00:23:37,533
♪ I believe
in a thing called love ♪
545
00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:39,402
♪ Just listen to the rhythm
of my heart ♪
546
00:23:39,436 --> 00:23:40,903
♪ There's a chance
we could make it now ♪
547
00:23:40,937 --> 00:23:43,239
♪ We'll be rocking
till the sun goes down ♪
548
00:23:43,273 --> 00:23:46,976
♪ I believe
in a thing called love ♪
549
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,111
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
oh, yeah ♪
550
00:23:49,146 --> 00:23:50,746
Guitar!
551
00:23:59,589 --> 00:24:02,091
♪ Touching you-ooh-ooh ♪
552
00:24:02,125 --> 00:24:06,929
♪ Touching me-ee-ee ♪
553
00:24:06,963 --> 00:24:10,900
♪ Touching you,
God, you're touching me ♪
554
00:24:10,934 --> 00:24:13,369
♪ Yeah ♪
555
00:24:13,403 --> 00:24:15,104
♪ I believe
in a thing called love ♪
556
00:24:15,138 --> 00:24:17,139
♪ Just listen
to the rhythm of my heart ♪
557
00:24:17,174 --> 00:24:18,974
♪ There's a chance
we could make it now ♪
558
00:24:19,009 --> 00:24:21,010
♪ We'll be rocking
till the sun goes down ♪
559
00:24:21,044 --> 00:24:24,547
♪ I believe in a thing
called love ♪
560
00:24:24,581 --> 00:24:27,383
♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
561
00:24:27,417 --> 00:24:31,921
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
562
00:24:31,955 --> 00:24:34,623
♪ Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah ♪
563
00:24:34,658 --> 00:24:35,991
Come on.
564
00:24:36,026 --> 00:24:38,194
♪ I believe
in a thing called love ♪
565
00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:39,462
♪ Yeah, yeah, hey, yeah ♪
566
00:24:39,496 --> 00:24:41,397
♪ I believe in a thing
called love ♪
567
00:24:41,431 --> 00:24:43,766
♪ Whoa, oh-oh, oh, yeah-ah-ah ♪
568
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,868
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
569
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:49,972
♪ Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. ♪
570
00:24:53,076 --> 00:24:55,778
Throw these guys some guitars.
571
00:24:58,682 --> 00:25:01,383
You don't own the song.
572
00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:02,518
No, that song is
Ms. Streisand's
573
00:25:02,552 --> 00:25:03,919
as long as she's on this planet.
574
00:25:03,954 --> 00:25:05,488
But let me tell you
something... when she goes,
575
00:25:05,522 --> 00:25:07,490
it's gonna be my responsibility
to sing it.
576
00:25:07,524 --> 00:25:08,858
Do you know how insane
you sound?
577
00:25:08,892 --> 00:25:10,993
It was completely
inappropriate of her
578
00:25:11,027 --> 00:25:12,187
to try out without telling me.
579
00:25:12,195 --> 00:25:15,397
Hey, roomies.
Talking about me?
580
00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:16,592
No. Why would you think that?
581
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:17,733
Why did you audition
without telling me?
582
00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:19,935
Well, because I figured
583
00:25:19,970 --> 00:25:22,238
that we were going
to fight about it, anyway,
584
00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:23,772
so we might as well
go at it afterwards.
585
00:25:23,807 --> 00:25:25,508
That way you don't have
a chance to torpedo me.
586
00:25:25,542 --> 00:25:28,577
Fanny Brice is a New York Jew.
You playing that role is
587
00:25:28,612 --> 00:25:30,813
like me being the grand marshal
at the Puerto Rican Day parade.
588
00:25:30,847 --> 00:25:32,181
What if you weren't
playing Fanny?
589
00:25:32,215 --> 00:25:34,650
If you weren't playing the lead,
and I came home and said
590
00:25:34,684 --> 00:25:36,364
that I had auditioned
to be the understudy,
591
00:25:36,386 --> 00:25:37,720
would you still feel
so strongly?
592
00:25:37,754 --> 00:25:40,222
I'm arguing on principle.
This is not personal.
593
00:25:40,257 --> 00:25:41,557
Bull crap, Rachel.
594
00:25:41,591 --> 00:25:44,093
You have all of this talk about
forgiveness for high school,
595
00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:46,195
but the reality is
that you just love having
596
00:25:46,229 --> 00:25:47,796
something over me.
I mean, these past
597
00:25:47,831 --> 00:25:49,331
couple of months
with you in rehearsal
598
00:25:49,366 --> 00:25:53,035
and me waiting tables has been
such sweet revenge for you.
599
00:25:53,069 --> 00:25:56,105
And you just can't stand the
idea that I might get mine, too.
600
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:58,474
I just got you on the cover
of New York magazine!
601
00:25:58,508 --> 00:26:00,776
In the background. You were
practically glowing about it.
602
00:26:00,810 --> 00:26:02,444
That's because
I accomplished something.
603
00:26:02,479 --> 00:26:03,879
It had nothing to do with you.
604
00:26:03,914 --> 00:26:06,582
No, see, it actually has
everything to do with me.
605
00:26:06,616 --> 00:26:08,984
Every step that you take
in this city is fueled
606
00:26:09,019 --> 00:26:11,353
by all of the hate
that we gave you.
607
00:26:11,388 --> 00:26:14,156
All of that ambition is just
you trying to prove us wrong.
608
00:26:14,191 --> 00:26:15,958
Which is fine, Rachel.
I mean, whatever works for you.
609
00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:17,526
Just don't try
to say that it isn't.
610
00:26:17,561 --> 00:26:19,094
You know what? Why don't we just
chill for a second, please.
611
00:26:19,129 --> 00:26:20,896
Okay, I'll make espresso.
You know what?
612
00:26:20,931 --> 00:26:22,198
You can't handle it.
613
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:24,166
You can't handle
that I have made it,
614
00:26:24,201 --> 00:26:26,735
and you are just begging
to be my understudy.
615
00:26:27,771 --> 00:26:29,972
Okay, you know what?
616
00:26:30,006 --> 00:26:32,374
Just admit that even with all
of your years of singing lessons
617
00:26:32,409 --> 00:26:35,878
and dancing lessons and
only-child adoration
618
00:26:35,912 --> 00:26:37,479
from your gay
Broadway dads that I
619
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:39,448
am just as good as you.
620
00:26:39,482 --> 00:26:42,151
Unlike you, I can be popular
in high school and still
621
00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:43,419
make it big after graduation.
622
00:26:43,453 --> 00:26:45,621
Just admit that no matter
what you do,
623
00:26:45,655 --> 00:26:47,189
or how far you go,
624
00:26:47,224 --> 00:26:48,958
you will never be able
to scratch that itch.
625
00:26:48,992 --> 00:26:52,061
You will never be able to look
down on me and redeem yourself.
626
00:26:52,095 --> 00:26:53,696
Because I was better
than you then,
627
00:26:53,730 --> 00:26:55,364
and I'm always gonna
be better than you.
628
00:26:55,398 --> 00:26:57,299
You are short,
you are awful, and
629
00:26:57,334 --> 00:26:58,667
that is never going to change.
630
00:27:02,772 --> 00:27:06,075
I think you should move out.
631
00:27:06,109 --> 00:27:07,243
I agree.
632
00:27:07,277 --> 00:27:08,744
This is crazy!
We're friends!
633
00:27:08,778 --> 00:27:10,045
Not really.
634
00:27:14,951 --> 00:27:16,485
Hello?
635
00:27:16,519 --> 00:27:18,721
Yeah, good.
636
00:27:18,755 --> 00:27:22,091
Okay. Well, thank you
for letting me know so soon.
637
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:24,593
Bye.
638
00:27:24,628 --> 00:27:26,962
I'll see you
at rehearsals, Berry.
639
00:27:26,997 --> 00:27:28,764
I'm your new understudy.
640
00:27:35,572 --> 00:27:39,274
Welcome idiots to the McKinley
High valedictorian speech-off.
641
00:27:57,594 --> 00:28:00,496
Your job today is to decide
which of these speeches
642
00:28:00,530 --> 00:28:02,865
is slightly less awful.
643
00:28:02,899 --> 00:28:04,800
That being said,
allow me to present
644
00:28:04,834 --> 00:28:07,336
absolutely no one's
favorite New Direction!...
645
00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:08,971
Tina Cohen-Chang.
646
00:28:19,082 --> 00:28:21,617
My fellow graduates,
647
00:28:21,651 --> 00:28:23,786
I feel like I was
a different person
648
00:28:23,820 --> 00:28:27,122
when I first arrived at McKinley
High School four years ago.
649
00:28:27,157 --> 00:28:29,224
I was a goth chick
650
00:28:29,259 --> 00:28:32,394
who was so intent
on pushing people away
651
00:28:32,429 --> 00:28:34,630
that I pretended
to have a stutter,
652
00:28:34,664 --> 00:28:37,800
which I now understand
wasn't even that convincing.
653
00:28:37,834 --> 00:28:39,334
I wasn't even
654
00:28:39,369 --> 00:28:41,069
good at stuttering.
655
00:28:41,104 --> 00:28:45,474
But then, something
in my life changed.
656
00:28:45,508 --> 00:28:49,378
Someone, actually.
657
00:28:49,412 --> 00:28:53,015
In fact...
that someone changed me.
658
00:28:54,517 --> 00:28:57,419
And that person's name
is Artie Abrams.
659
00:28:58,688 --> 00:29:01,390
Artie, wait. I'm really sorry.
It was an accident.
660
00:29:01,424 --> 00:29:03,392
You're still one of
my best friends, Artie.
661
00:29:03,426 --> 00:29:04,660
I know you know that.
662
00:29:04,694 --> 00:29:06,161
Ditto.
663
00:29:06,196 --> 00:29:09,231
Artie has taught me
how to not only be myself,
664
00:29:09,265 --> 00:29:11,200
but he's an inspiration to
high school students everywhere.
665
00:29:11,234 --> 00:29:13,235
Sure, I've
experienced adversity.
666
00:29:13,269 --> 00:29:15,404
One Christmas, I was given
a pair of mechanical legs
667
00:29:15,438 --> 00:29:17,739
that allowed me to walk for an
hour before they promptly broke.
668
00:29:17,774 --> 00:29:20,008
But I've never been so humbled
as I was
669
00:29:20,043 --> 00:29:22,544
the moment Tina Cohen-Chang
wiped the slushie off
670
00:29:22,579 --> 00:29:24,880
of her gown and triumphantly
returned to the stage
671
00:29:24,914 --> 00:29:26,882
to claim her rightful crown
as prom queen.
672
00:29:26,916 --> 00:29:28,984
That is why I respectfully
673
00:29:29,018 --> 00:29:30,385
withdraw myself
from consideration,
674
00:29:30,420 --> 00:29:32,354
and ask that Tina be named
this year's valedictorian.
675
00:29:32,388 --> 00:29:35,357
I believe he should be given the
title of class valedictorian.
676
00:29:35,391 --> 00:29:37,059
God, this can't be happening.
677
00:29:37,093 --> 00:29:38,360
Is it a bridge too far
678
00:29:38,394 --> 00:29:40,662
to call Artie Abrams
an American hero?
679
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:42,130
I think not.
680
00:29:42,165 --> 00:29:44,399
It's no exaggeration to say
681
00:29:44,434 --> 00:29:45,801
that Tina took my broken body
in her arms
682
00:29:45,835 --> 00:29:47,169
and taught me how to love.
683
00:29:47,203 --> 00:29:49,905
And as he strains to push
his wheelchair up that ramp,
684
00:29:49,939 --> 00:29:52,741
the ghosts of fallen heroes
follow close behind.
685
00:29:52,775 --> 00:29:55,978
Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi.
686
00:29:56,012 --> 00:29:59,248
Artie Abrams holds high
the torch of dignity.
687
00:29:59,282 --> 00:30:02,518
So please, respected judges,
cast your lot for Tina.
688
00:30:02,552 --> 00:30:05,120
I beseech you, vote for Artie.
689
00:30:05,154 --> 00:30:08,891
Tina Cohen-Chang, teammate,
sometime lover,
690
00:30:08,925 --> 00:30:11,159
patriot, friend.
691
00:30:11,194 --> 00:30:13,228
Thank you.
692
00:30:13,263 --> 00:30:14,396
Thank you.
693
00:30:14,430 --> 00:30:15,631
What a treacly, stomach-turning
694
00:30:15,665 --> 00:30:18,433
waste of everybody's time.
695
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:20,002
I hate you both.
696
00:30:20,036 --> 00:30:22,671
The judges will now make
their decision
697
00:30:22,705 --> 00:30:24,673
while I find a
wastebasket to dry-heave
698
00:30:24,707 --> 00:30:27,809
mouthfuls of yellow bile into.
699
00:30:41,991 --> 00:30:43,458
What are you doing?
700
00:30:43,493 --> 00:30:44,793
Putting makeup on.
701
00:30:44,827 --> 00:30:46,228
I have some bruising on my cheek
702
00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:47,742
I'd like to cover up
before rehearsal.
703
00:30:47,764 --> 00:30:49,565
You may not know this because
you haven't been interested
704
00:30:49,599 --> 00:30:50,899
in Broadway
since the day we met,
705
00:30:50,934 --> 00:30:52,367
but the star gets
her own vanity.
706
00:30:52,402 --> 00:30:53,502
There is a perfectly fine
707
00:30:53,536 --> 00:30:55,404
bathroom mirror upstairs
for the understudy.
708
00:30:55,438 --> 00:30:57,606
So sorry, I totally forgot
how much room you need
709
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,841
for all that hooker makeup
you plaster on every day.
710
00:30:59,876 --> 00:31:01,343
I will totally slap you again.
711
00:31:01,377 --> 00:31:03,178
I would love for things
to get physical.
712
00:31:03,212 --> 00:31:05,147
I will hit you so hard that
you won't be able to wake up
713
00:31:05,181 --> 00:31:07,449
until you're old enough
to be Funny Lady.
714
00:31:07,483 --> 00:31:09,117
You will never play this part;
I know you're planning
715
00:31:09,152 --> 00:31:10,953
on getting all Showgirls crazy
on me and pushing me
716
00:31:10,987 --> 00:31:12,154
down the stairs
and poisoning my oatmeal,
717
00:31:12,188 --> 00:31:13,522
but you're gonna have
to kill me first,
718
00:31:13,556 --> 00:31:15,316
and even then,
I will come back from the dead
719
00:31:15,325 --> 00:31:17,526
and I will play this part
just to spite you.
720
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:18,527
Zombie Fanny?
721
00:31:18,561 --> 00:31:20,295
Ghost Fanny, actually.
722
00:31:20,330 --> 00:31:21,630
What's this?
723
00:31:21,664 --> 00:31:23,532
Fighting? No, no, no.
724
00:31:23,566 --> 00:31:24,833
No way, no fighting.
725
00:31:24,867 --> 00:31:26,368
Okay, Rupert,
this isn't gonna work.
726
00:31:26,402 --> 00:31:27,936
Santana and I have a past.
727
00:31:27,971 --> 00:31:30,272
Which besides her
being incredibly talented,
728
00:31:30,306 --> 00:31:31,473
is why she is here.
729
00:31:31,507 --> 00:31:33,775
If you want to fill this house,
730
00:31:33,810 --> 00:31:35,243
we need all the press
we can get.
731
00:31:35,278 --> 00:31:36,912
I've got Pat Healy
from the New York Times,
732
00:31:36,946 --> 00:31:38,614
David Cote from Time Out,
733
00:31:38,648 --> 00:31:39,748
Adam Hetrick
734
00:31:39,782 --> 00:31:42,417
from playbill.com
all begging me
735
00:31:42,452 --> 00:31:44,052
to break the story
of the two girls
736
00:31:44,087 --> 00:31:45,487
from the same high school
in Ohio
737
00:31:45,521 --> 00:31:47,522
who made it big in the
same Broadway show.
738
00:31:47,557 --> 00:31:49,257
Two old friends
739
00:31:49,292 --> 00:31:53,128
finding fame, love and fortune
in the big city. Hell of a hook.
740
00:31:53,162 --> 00:31:56,531
You're both gonna get plenty
of attention individually,
741
00:31:56,566 --> 00:31:59,234
but it is a fact, as a team,
742
00:31:59,268 --> 00:32:01,203
you'll be twice as famous.
743
00:32:01,237 --> 00:32:03,572
From now on, I want the two
of you joined at the hip.
744
00:32:03,606 --> 00:32:05,574
You both need to know every
move Fanny makes in the show,
745
00:32:05,608 --> 00:32:06,875
starting with scene 14.
746
00:32:06,909 --> 00:32:09,444
Rachel, you'll run through
it first, then Santana.
747
00:32:09,479 --> 00:32:10,519
I don't know what happened
748
00:32:10,546 --> 00:32:11,813
between the two of
you in the past.
749
00:32:11,848 --> 00:32:13,115
Honestly, I don't really care.
750
00:32:13,149 --> 00:32:15,884
It's all...
puppy dogs and rainbows
751
00:32:15,918 --> 00:32:18,487
from now till this show closes.
752
00:32:22,959 --> 00:32:24,826
Well...
753
00:32:24,861 --> 00:32:26,428
at least we know who
the rainbow is,
754
00:32:26,462 --> 00:32:27,963
and who's the dog.
755
00:32:27,997 --> 00:32:30,098
Bathroom's upstairs!
756
00:32:42,145 --> 00:32:45,147
♪ Every breath you take ♪
757
00:32:45,181 --> 00:32:48,984
♪ And every move you make ♪
758
00:32:49,018 --> 00:32:51,620
♪ Every bond you break ♪
759
00:32:51,654 --> 00:32:53,622
♪ Every step you take ♪
760
00:32:53,656 --> 00:32:57,592
♪ I'll be watching you ♪
761
00:32:57,627 --> 00:33:01,530
♪ Every single day ♪
762
00:33:01,564 --> 00:33:05,634
♪ And every word you say ♪
763
00:33:05,668 --> 00:33:07,569
♪ Every game you play ♪
764
00:33:07,603 --> 00:33:09,471
♪ Every night you stay ♪
765
00:33:09,505 --> 00:33:12,741
♪ I'll be watching you ♪
766
00:33:13,776 --> 00:33:17,245
♪ Oh, can't you see? ♪
767
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:21,249
♪ You belong to me ♪
768
00:33:21,284 --> 00:33:25,620
♪ How my poor heart aches ♪
769
00:33:25,655 --> 00:33:29,591
♪ With every step you take ♪
770
00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:33,695
♪ Every move you make ♪
771
00:33:33,730 --> 00:33:37,566
♪ And every vow you break ♪
772
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,634
♪ Every smile you fake ♪
773
00:33:39,669 --> 00:33:41,670
♪ Every claim you stake ♪
774
00:33:41,704 --> 00:33:44,639
♪ I'll be watching you ♪
775
00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:51,113
♪ Since you've gone, I've been
lost without a trace ♪
776
00:33:51,147 --> 00:33:55,584
♪ I dream at night,
I can only see your face ♪
777
00:33:55,618 --> 00:33:59,888
♪ I look around,
but it's you I can't replace ♪
778
00:33:59,922 --> 00:34:03,558
♪ I feel so cold,
and I long for your embrace ♪
779
00:34:03,593 --> 00:34:05,327
♪ I keep crying ♪
780
00:34:05,361 --> 00:34:09,364
♪ Baby, by, pase... ♪
781
00:34:15,605 --> 00:34:17,506
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
782
00:34:17,540 --> 00:34:20,208
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh... ♪
783
00:34:20,243 --> 00:34:23,612
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh,
Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
784
00:34:23,646 --> 00:34:27,849
♪ Every breath you take,
every move you make ♪
785
00:34:27,884 --> 00:34:29,451
♪ Every bond you break ♪
786
00:34:29,485 --> 00:34:31,520
♪ Every step you take ♪
787
00:34:31,554 --> 00:34:35,757
♪ Every single day,
every word you say ♪
788
00:34:35,792 --> 00:34:37,826
♪ Every game you play ♪
789
00:34:37,860 --> 00:34:39,861
♪ Every night you stay ♪
790
00:34:39,896 --> 00:34:43,698
♪ Every move you make,
every vow you break ♪
791
00:34:43,733 --> 00:34:45,734
♪ Every smile you fake ♪
792
00:34:45,768 --> 00:34:47,636
♪ I'll be watching ♪
793
00:34:47,670 --> 00:34:51,173
♪ Every single day,
every word you say ♪
794
00:34:51,207 --> 00:34:54,042
♪ Every game you play ♪
795
00:34:54,076 --> 00:34:57,746
♪ I'll be watching you. ♪
796
00:35:11,060 --> 00:35:13,128
Ah, T. Rex?
797
00:35:13,162 --> 00:35:16,798
Oh, be still my glam heart.
798
00:35:16,833 --> 00:35:19,568
You know, there's this amazing
flea market in Park Slope
799
00:35:19,602 --> 00:35:20,735
- that we should go to.
- Ooh.
800
00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:22,204
I will help you pick out
801
00:35:22,238 --> 00:35:24,372
the perfect records
to add to your collection.
802
00:35:24,407 --> 00:35:25,740
I'm, uh, kind of magic
like that.
803
00:35:25,775 --> 00:35:29,244
And I am kind of magic
at baking prepackaged goods
804
00:35:29,278 --> 00:35:30,946
with extra glazing.
805
00:35:30,980 --> 00:35:32,380
- Aw...
- Yes!
806
00:35:32,415 --> 00:35:33,615
That looks amazing.
807
00:35:35,918 --> 00:35:37,118
You know, Kurt...
808
00:35:37,153 --> 00:35:39,221
you know, this might sound
a little bit weird,
809
00:35:39,255 --> 00:35:41,890
but, um, I'm so glad
that we've met.
810
00:35:41,924 --> 00:35:43,391
I mean,
811
00:35:43,426 --> 00:35:44,759
you're the first gay friend
that I've made
812
00:35:44,794 --> 00:35:46,127
in the city that's not crazy
813
00:35:46,162 --> 00:35:48,496
or just trying to hook up.
814
00:35:48,531 --> 00:35:50,799
But I do know what you're doing.
815
00:35:50,833 --> 00:35:53,134
What's that?
816
00:35:53,169 --> 00:35:55,937
I'm not trying
to take over you band, man.
817
00:35:55,972 --> 00:35:57,672
That's what
you're thinking, right?
818
00:35:57,707 --> 00:36:00,107
I mean, that's why we've been
spending so much time together?
819
00:36:01,978 --> 00:36:03,178
You are kind of magic.
820
00:36:03,212 --> 00:36:04,746
I'm sorry,
I-I just wanted to,
821
00:36:04,780 --> 00:36:05,847
you know, figure out,
822
00:36:05,882 --> 00:36:07,215
exactly what your deal was.
823
00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:08,617
Well, the deal is this.
824
00:36:08,651 --> 00:36:10,952
You guys are awesome.
825
00:36:10,987 --> 00:36:12,954
You're good people,
you're talented
826
00:36:12,989 --> 00:36:14,723
and, you know what?
So am I.
827
00:36:14,757 --> 00:36:17,225
So let's not be
these, like, smiley frenemies
828
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:18,360
that backstab each other.
829
00:36:18,394 --> 00:36:20,662
Let's go out
and kick ass together.
830
00:36:20,696 --> 00:36:23,498
I mean, I'm a part of your band.
831
00:36:23,532 --> 00:36:26,368
Yeah, you are.
832
00:36:26,402 --> 00:36:27,369
Okay, let's document
this moment.
833
00:36:27,403 --> 00:36:28,503
Shall we? Great.
Yes, yes.
834
00:36:28,537 --> 00:36:30,417
I think this calls
for a Pamela Lansbury selfie.
835
00:36:33,276 --> 00:36:34,910
Oh! See...
I was still chewing.
836
00:36:34,944 --> 00:36:36,444
Oh, sorry, let's take
a look, it could be...
837
00:36:36,479 --> 00:36:37,979
Yeah, no, we're doing
that again...
838
00:36:38,014 --> 00:36:39,781
Yeah, that's awful.
We're going that again, okay?
839
00:36:39,815 --> 00:36:41,549
One, two... Be super cute.
840
00:36:43,019 --> 00:36:45,086
Aw, cute!
841
00:36:45,121 --> 00:36:47,255
Oh!
842
00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:51,726
Well, the judges have spoken.
843
00:36:51,761 --> 00:36:53,461
And?
Congratulations, morons.
844
00:36:53,496 --> 00:36:55,096
You split the vote.
It's a tie.
845
00:36:55,131 --> 00:36:56,131
Are you serious?
846
00:36:56,165 --> 00:36:58,133
Yes, I am, Make-a-Wish.
847
00:36:58,167 --> 00:36:59,801
Now I have no choice
848
00:36:59,835 --> 00:37:01,469
but to make you
co-salutatorians.
849
00:37:01,504 --> 00:37:03,805
And elevate the student
ranked number three
850
00:37:03,839 --> 00:37:05,140
to the class valedictorian.
851
00:37:05,174 --> 00:37:06,141
Who?
852
00:37:06,175 --> 00:37:07,642
Blaine Anderson.
853
00:37:07,677 --> 00:37:09,210
What?
What?!
854
00:37:09,245 --> 00:37:11,846
I'm really sorry, guys.
I feel terrible.
855
00:37:11,881 --> 00:37:13,648
Don't be, if we can't
be valedictorian,
856
00:37:13,683 --> 00:37:14,716
we're glad it's you.
857
00:37:14,750 --> 00:37:16,351
No, but you two deserve it.
858
00:37:16,385 --> 00:37:18,553
I mean, come on, you guys have
a higher grade point average.
859
00:37:18,587 --> 00:37:20,221
I know this sounds
like a humble brag.
860
00:37:20,256 --> 00:37:21,489
But honestly,
I feel like sometimes
861
00:37:21,524 --> 00:37:23,191
things just get handed to me.
862
00:37:24,226 --> 00:37:26,127
Really? Hmm.
I never noticed that.
863
00:37:26,162 --> 00:37:27,429
You know, like, how Mr. Shue
864
00:37:27,463 --> 00:37:28,797
gives me more solos
than anyone, and...
865
00:37:28,831 --> 00:37:30,432
Blade gay Blaine!
866
00:37:30,466 --> 00:37:33,001
When did you break-up
with Pancake Face?
867
00:37:33,035 --> 00:37:34,669
Uh, Becky, I'd really
appreciate it
868
00:37:34,704 --> 00:37:38,239
if you didn't call my
fiancé "Pancake Face."
869
00:37:38,274 --> 00:37:40,241
And no, we're not broken up.
870
00:37:40,276 --> 00:37:43,011
Yeah, you are.
871
00:37:43,045 --> 00:37:45,046
What?
872
00:37:47,683 --> 00:37:51,386
Um, that's a...
that's a great photo, Becky.
873
00:37:51,420 --> 00:37:53,288
But don't worry.
874
00:37:53,322 --> 00:37:54,356
Kurt and Elliot are
just friends.
875
00:37:54,390 --> 00:37:56,091
Just friends, my ass.
876
00:37:56,125 --> 00:37:58,893
Speaking of ass...
877
00:37:58,928 --> 00:37:59,928
Pancake Face is getting some.
878
00:37:59,962 --> 00:38:01,963
Oh, snap!
879
00:38:08,762 --> 00:38:10,702
Tina and Artie have both
demurred from having solos
880
00:38:10,727 --> 00:38:12,294
at Nationals,
so we're still looking
881
00:38:12,329 --> 00:38:13,596
for someone to step up.
882
00:38:13,630 --> 00:38:15,631
Uh, Mr. Shue?
You already have a solo, Blaine.
883
00:38:15,665 --> 00:38:17,099
Thank you, Tina.
884
00:38:17,134 --> 00:38:19,769
This is about something else.
885
00:38:19,803 --> 00:38:21,103
As you may have all heard,
886
00:38:21,138 --> 00:38:23,105
I have been asked, oddly,
887
00:38:23,140 --> 00:38:25,174
to be valedictorian this year.
888
00:38:25,208 --> 00:38:26,942
And so, I thought,
instead of boring everybody
889
00:38:26,977 --> 00:38:28,611
with the traditional
valedictorian speech
890
00:38:28,645 --> 00:38:30,246
where I tell people to follow
their dreams
891
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,714
and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah,
892
00:38:31,748 --> 00:38:33,249
I could actually affect people
by singing.
893
00:38:33,283 --> 00:38:34,683
So I was hoping
you guys could help me
894
00:38:34,718 --> 00:38:36,786
brainstorm
some graduation songs.
895
00:38:36,820 --> 00:38:38,120
I cannot wait to watch
896
00:38:38,155 --> 00:38:40,156
Principal Sylvester
assassinate you.
897
00:38:42,893 --> 00:38:45,895
Look, I know you guys
both really wanted it.
898
00:38:47,164 --> 00:38:49,165
That's why I want both
of you to sing with me.
899
00:38:49,199 --> 00:38:52,268
Whatever song we pick,
we should pick together.
900
00:38:52,302 --> 00:38:53,836
And you should both
definitely have solos.
901
00:38:53,870 --> 00:38:55,437
And, Tina, we could
film rehearsal
902
00:38:55,472 --> 00:38:56,605
and send it to Brown.
903
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,274
And they're so artsy
and progressive
904
00:38:58,308 --> 00:39:00,042
that I'm sure once they see it,
they're just gonna open up
905
00:39:00,076 --> 00:39:01,677
those Van Winkle gates,
looking for you.
906
00:39:01,711 --> 00:39:03,879
They better open them
really wide.
907
00:39:03,914 --> 00:39:05,281
Oh, Blainy Days.
908
00:39:05,315 --> 00:39:06,982
Well, if we're gonna go down,
909
00:39:07,017 --> 00:39:09,118
I'm honored to go
down together.
910
00:39:09,152 --> 00:39:10,653
Yes! Right! That's
that spirit I like!
911
00:39:12,389 --> 00:39:14,056
We all can't live here anymore.
912
00:39:14,090 --> 00:39:15,457
One of us has to go.
913
00:39:15,492 --> 00:39:16,992
I've paid rent here
for three months.
914
00:39:17,027 --> 00:39:19,495
And even though I never
actually got to have a bed,
915
00:39:19,529 --> 00:39:21,096
uh, I have squatter's rights.
916
00:39:21,131 --> 00:39:22,431
Kurt, you're the deciding vote.
917
00:39:22,465 --> 00:39:24,200
Oh, well, then I guess
I should pack my stuff now.
918
00:39:24,234 --> 00:39:25,701
'Cause we all know who he's
gonna side with. Right.
919
00:39:25,735 --> 00:39:27,403
Thank you.
I'm thinking neither of you.
920
00:39:27,437 --> 00:39:29,371
Okay? This is ridiculous!
We are friends.
921
00:39:29,406 --> 00:39:31,207
I'm not gonna let something
like this break us up.
922
00:39:31,241 --> 00:39:32,675
This is betrayal, Kurt, okay?
923
00:39:32,709 --> 00:39:34,710
This is exactly how
friends break up.
924
00:39:34,744 --> 00:39:36,779
She auditioned for
your understudy, Rachel.
925
00:39:36,813 --> 00:39:38,380
How is that betrayal?
Okay, you know what?
926
00:39:38,415 --> 00:39:40,349
Let me break it down for you...
the sole purpose
927
00:39:40,383 --> 00:39:41,817
of an understudy is to hope
928
00:39:41,852 --> 00:39:43,752
that the lead never goes on.
929
00:39:43,787 --> 00:39:45,054
She only wins if I lose!
930
00:39:45,088 --> 00:39:46,822
And I can't be around this
negative energy anymore.
931
00:39:46,857 --> 00:39:49,058
This is my big break
and she is poisoning it!
932
00:39:49,092 --> 00:39:50,593
"Poison."
933
00:39:50,627 --> 00:39:51,894
Even if she never went out
on that stage,
934
00:39:51,928 --> 00:39:53,696
this would be
a very important job for her.
935
00:39:53,730 --> 00:39:54,964
And I'm a little disappointed
you can't find
936
00:39:54,998 --> 00:39:56,232
the generosity
in your heart to see that.
937
00:39:56,266 --> 00:39:57,766
You know what? If you think
938
00:39:57,801 --> 00:39:59,635
that she is just some babe
939
00:39:59,669 --> 00:40:01,170
in the woods
who is perfectly fine
940
00:40:01,204 --> 00:40:04,206
with living off of the scraps
off of my star sandwich,
941
00:40:04,241 --> 00:40:06,542
then you are naive
and willfully ignorant!
942
00:40:06,576 --> 00:40:08,244
She would kill for this part!
943
00:40:08,278 --> 00:40:09,645
Oh, yes, she has been
awful to us before.
944
00:40:09,679 --> 00:40:10,813
But I believe her now.
945
00:40:10,847 --> 00:40:12,615
Look at that,
Pasty Gay is siding with me.
946
00:40:12,649 --> 00:40:13,883
I am not siding
with either of you.
947
00:40:13,917 --> 00:40:15,077
I just want to order a pizza,
948
00:40:15,085 --> 00:40:16,318
sit down and talk this out!
949
00:40:16,353 --> 00:40:18,254
You know what?
950
00:40:18,288 --> 00:40:20,155
You guys can do whatever
you want in this apartment,
951
00:40:20,190 --> 00:40:22,791
because I'm leaving, and let me
tell you something, Santana.
952
00:40:22,826 --> 00:40:24,927
You and I have just been
pretending to be friends
953
00:40:24,961 --> 00:40:27,229
ever since we did that
stupid number in the choir room
954
00:40:27,264 --> 00:40:29,698
after graduation,
all happy and supportive.
955
00:40:29,733 --> 00:40:30,900
But it's all crap!
956
00:40:30,934 --> 00:40:32,534
Because you and I have
never been friends.
957
00:40:32,569 --> 00:40:35,271
Never have and never will be!
958
00:40:35,305 --> 00:40:37,139
Rachel, no.
959
00:40:37,173 --> 00:40:39,441
No. No, you know what?
Let her go.
960
00:40:39,476 --> 00:40:42,878
Hey, leave the mattress though,
would you?
961
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,314
I am on the cusp
962
00:40:45,348 --> 00:40:47,483
of something that most people
never even touch,
963
00:40:47,517 --> 00:40:48,584
a dream come true.
964
00:40:48,618 --> 00:40:50,219
I am gonna be
a star on Broadway.
965
00:40:50,253 --> 00:40:52,021
And I'm not gonna let one moment
966
00:40:52,055 --> 00:40:54,623
of this amazing,
life-altering experience
967
00:40:54,658 --> 00:40:58,060
be ruined by two friends
who aren't even my friends...
968
00:40:58,094 --> 00:40:59,728
That's it.
969
00:40:59,763 --> 00:41:01,130
I'm done. I'm leaving.
Okay. Cool.
970
00:41:04,935 --> 00:41:07,770
♪ Da-da-da-da, na-na ♪
971
00:41:07,804 --> 00:41:09,972
♪ Da-da-da-da,
na-na ♪
972
00:41:10,006 --> 00:41:14,176
♪ Da-da-da-da, na-na-na-na ♪
973
00:41:14,210 --> 00:41:16,512
♪ Grew up in a small town ♪
974
00:41:16,546 --> 00:41:18,781
♪ And when the rain
would fall down ♪
975
00:41:18,815 --> 00:41:22,751
I'd just stare out my window ♪
976
00:41:22,786 --> 00:41:25,487
♪ Dreaming of what could be ♪
977
00:41:25,522 --> 00:41:27,723
♪ And if I'd end up happy ♪
978
00:41:27,757 --> 00:41:31,393
♪ I would pray ♪
979
00:41:34,531 --> 00:41:36,865
♪ But when I try to speak out ♪
980
00:41:36,900 --> 00:41:41,203
♪ Felt like no one
could hear me ♪
981
00:41:41,237 --> 00:41:43,939
♪ Wanted to belong here ♪
982
00:41:43,974 --> 00:41:45,674
♪ But something felt
so wrong here ♪
983
00:41:45,709 --> 00:41:49,078
♪ So I prayed ♪
984
00:41:49,112 --> 00:41:54,750
♪ I could break away... ♪
985
00:41:57,087 --> 00:42:00,222
♪ I'll spread my wings
and I'll learn how to fly ♪
986
00:42:00,256 --> 00:42:02,658
♪ I'll do what it takes ♪
987
00:42:02,692 --> 00:42:06,128
♪ Till I touch the sky ♪
988
00:42:06,162 --> 00:42:10,032
♪ And I'll make a wish
take a chance, make a change ♪
989
00:42:10,066 --> 00:42:13,702
♪ And break away... ♪
990
00:42:15,438 --> 00:42:16,839
♪ Out of the darkness ♪
991
00:42:16,873 --> 00:42:19,675
♪ And into the sun ♪
992
00:42:19,709 --> 00:42:21,010
♪ But I won't forget ♪
993
00:42:21,044 --> 00:42:23,846
♪ All the ones that I love ♪
994
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:25,481
♪ Make a wish, take a chance ♪
995
00:42:25,515 --> 00:42:27,916
♪ Make a change ♪
996
00:42:27,951 --> 00:42:33,522
♪ And break away ♪
997
00:42:33,556 --> 00:42:35,524
♪ Buildings
with a hundred floors ♪
998
00:42:35,558 --> 00:42:37,926
♪ Swing around revolving doors ♪
999
00:42:37,961 --> 00:42:41,597
♪ Maybe I don't know
where they'll take me ♪
1000
00:42:41,631 --> 00:42:44,099
♪ But gotta keep moving on ♪
1001
00:42:44,134 --> 00:42:45,601
♪ Moving on ♪
1002
00:42:45,635 --> 00:42:48,103
♪ Fly away ♪
1003
00:42:48,138 --> 00:42:51,106
♪ Break away ♪
1004
00:42:51,141 --> 00:42:52,641
♪ I'll spread my wings ♪
1005
00:42:52,675 --> 00:42:55,244
♪ And I'll learn how to fly ♪
1006
00:42:55,278 --> 00:42:57,446
♪ Though it's not easy ♪
1007
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,915
♪ To tell you good-bye ♪
1008
00:42:59,949 --> 00:43:02,551
♪ Make a wish, take a chance ♪
1009
00:43:02,585 --> 00:43:04,186
♪ Make a change ♪
1010
00:43:04,220 --> 00:43:08,824
♪ And break away ♪
1011
00:43:08,858 --> 00:43:18,815
♪ Break away, break away. ♪
1012
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,618
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com