1 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,804 [ Shouting Questions ] [ Woman ] Here he comes! 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,848 Mr. Claringtonl Mr. Claringtoni 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,888 What do you have to say about the steroid allegations? 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,530 I look fon/vard to my day in court. 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,045 Until then, I have no comment. 6 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,600 But what about the report that you look way too old... 7 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,205 to still be in high school? 8 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,045 - [ Clamoring ] - What is your problem? 9 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,851 A blood test administered by the Show Choir Governing Board... 10 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,248 tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs, 11 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,051 stripping Dalton Academy of their sectionals title... 12 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,442 and sending Lima's own McKinley High School Show Choir to regionals... 13 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:36,525 and a chance to repeat as national champions. 14 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,611 I can't believe it. This is what they think news is now? 15 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,490 - Andrea. - I can't take this anymore. 16 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,643 I cannot... take this... anymore! 17 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,200 I have had it! I've had enough! 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,601 I went to school for this? 19 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,570 [ Laughing, Sobbing ] 20 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,531 Well, it looks like someone's getting a younger, hotter co-anchor. 21 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,400 After the break, a Fort Wayne squirrel who's also... a doctor? 22 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,050 We'll be right back. 23 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,885 [Cheering ] 24 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,650 All right, people, we are back! 25 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,082 First of all, big props to Sam and Blaine... 26 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,322 for all their hard work to make this happen. 27 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,164 But... there's no time to celebrate. 28 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,561 We just lost three weeks of prep time for regionals, 29 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,085 and we still have to raise $400... 30 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,288 to pay for the bus to get to the competition in Indianapolis. 31 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,850 It's the Paris of Indiana. 32 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,763 I propose a bake sale. 33 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,729 I mean, it worked last time. 34 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,768 Well, that's because Puck spiked the cupcakes with Mary Jane. 35 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,842 I'd cut off my hair to sell it for extra cash. 36 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,764 To who? Jamaican kids with Rastafarian cancer? 37 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,763 Or as rigging on a haunted pirate ship? 38 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,330 I could sell more of my semen. 39 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,165 This is silly. I know exactly how we're gonna get the money- 40 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,488 The Men of McKinley calendar. 41 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,643 Let's face it. This is the cutest crop of Glee boys we've ever had. 42 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,610 That's great. And it's January, so it's the perfect time to sell them. 43 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,967 There are six guys, so each one can take two months. 44 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,008 I think Blaine should definitely be December. 45 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,846 You can do a Santa thing, but sexy. Sexy Claus. 46 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,605 [ As Matthew McConaughey ] I'm in as long as I can take my shirt off. 47 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,330 Wait, why does it have to be just the men? 48 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,930 Why can't we objectify the girls too? 49 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,161 Girls are the ones that buy stuff. 50 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,242 We're responsible for the consumer-driven economy. 51 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,805 Those Twilight books are poop on paper, 52 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,803 and we've turned them into a billion-dollar industry. 53 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,008 Team Jacob. 54 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,844 This could actually work. 55 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,844 Tina, you're in charge. You can set up the photo shoots. 56 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,605 Everybody else, pick your months and work on your concepts. 57 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,569 - [ Students Clapping ] - [ Girl ] Good job, Tina! 58 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,721 Hey, what are you doing after school today? Um- 59 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,604 -4'; [ Dance Pop ] - [ I/I/omanj ♪ Fondue For Tw0./ He y_/ _/~ 60 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,126 ♪ Fondue For Two That's some hot dish ♪ 61 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,168 ♪ Fondue For Two ♪♪ 62 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,004 Welcome back to Fondue For Two. 63 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,208 You may know tonight's guest only as the girl... 64 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,886 with the fat mom who ruined Sectionals for everybody. 65 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,770 Please give it up for McKinley's very own Marley Rose. 66 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,285 [ Purring ] [ Brittany claps ] 67 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,011 So, Marley, is it true that you spent six hours... 68 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,163 - waiting in line to see The Hunger Games ? - I love those books. 69 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,248 So do you think that you relate to The Hunger Games... 70 00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,526 because you yourself are hungry? 71 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,887 [Xylophone Flourish] 72 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,644 [ Cat Meows ] 73 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,803 When I was growing up, my mom said that I was a pet psychic. 74 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,291 That's cool. 75 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,089 So tell me what Lord Tubbington is thinking right now. 76 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,640 - Yeah. - [ Growls ] 77 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,370 Think he wants to lose some weight, 78 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,204 and he has an online gambling addiction. 79 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,611 [ Imitates Buzzer] Wrong. 80 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,250 If you would've told me that Lord Tubbington... 81 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,243 was secretly a slumlord, I would've believed you. 82 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,209 None of your high-rises are up to code. 83 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,282 Those families are living in squalor, and they deserve better. 84 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,283 Aaah! Oh! This is boiling hot! 85 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,761 - Let's talk about boys. - [ Gasps ] 86 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,650 Please admit to my viewing audience that you are in love with Jake. 87 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,444 [ Singsongy] Ithoughtso. 88 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,921 If Jake is brave enough to take off his clothes... 89 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,445 for Glee's Men of McKinley calendar, 90 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,363 don't you think you owe him the same courtesy? 91 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,488 You mean, take off my clothes? 92 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,848 No. I meant that you should be honest and vulnerable, 93 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,843 and tell him exactly how you feel. 94 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,802 [School Bell Rings] Sexy teen imbeciles. 95 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,561 The S.A.T. scores are in, and you have managed to receive... 96 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,804 the highest and lowest scores ever recorded at McKinley! 97 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,531 Yes! I knew it. Secret genius. 98 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,610 Brittany S. Pierce has received... 99 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,411 a near-perfect 2340 on her exam. 100 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,568 - Wait, what? How? - Clearly, she cheated! 101 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,369 No, I did not cheat. I swear. 102 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,369 All I did was, I filled in “A” for a while... 103 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,930 and then “C” for a little bit... 104 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,650 and then “D” and then I did “A” again. 105 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,326 Then I used the dots to draw a clown and then a penis. 106 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,528 Wait. [ Sighs ] What were my scores? 107 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,285 You got a 340, which in clinical trials... 108 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,330 is a score routinely bested by monkeys. 109 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,407 Sam, don't worry. 110 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,165 Okay, you don't need to go to college like the rest of us. 111 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,730 You have a really great body. 112 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,285 You could be a personal trainer. 113 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,249 You could be a greeter at Abercrombie. 114 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,482 You could be a greeter at Abercrombie's corporate headquarters. 115 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,131 Whatever you want to do. But meanwhile, my future looks bright. 116 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,170 I'm gonna graduate. I'll go to Harvard or “Princetown”... 117 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,561 or “MITT” or “Stanford and Son”... 118 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,291 or the “University of California at Charles Barkley's House,” 119 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,691 'cause evidently, 120 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,366 I'm one of the smartest people in America. 121 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,568 [ Footsteps Approaching ] 122 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,486 Your audition was great. I don't need to hear you read it again. 123 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,770 Look, this film is my senior thesis, 124 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,047 and I'd like you to be a part of it. 125 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,806 - Any questions? - Your script, Electra- It's so raw and personal. 126 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,410 I just was wondering, um- 127 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,926 Come Back to Me, Grandmother: A Journey into AIzheimer's- 128 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,651 Is that you and- and your grandmother? 129 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,242 The grandmother slipping into dementia is... 130 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,924 an allegory- 131 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,281 Of course. Yeah. obviously, of the end of the world. 132 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,840 You would be playing both me and, 133 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,524 in the black-and-white flashbacks, 134 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,204 my grandmother. 135 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,725 Okay - 136 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,723 If you're willing to go on this adventure with me. 137 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,371 L- I would be honored. I would. 138 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,851 Great. There is one thing. 139 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,720 You will have to be topless in the ballroom scene with Titus. 140 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,689 It's not going to be a problem, is it? 141 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,123 I'm a strong and confident woman. 142 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,168 I'm the one who asked Brody to move in. 143 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,005 I'm the one who almost made it out of Agent Provocateur without giggling. 144 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,845 And let's face it, my breasts are my prizewinners. 145 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,763 You almost made it out, but you didn't. 146 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,241 Let's face it. You're also the girl who makes Brody... 147 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,845 turn the lights off when you're cuddling. 148 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,809 You have a beautiful body, but are you really ready... 149 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,644 to expose yourself to the world? 150 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,769 That's what all great artists do. They expose themselves. 151 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,448 Expose their souls, not their flesh. 152 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,409 But it's all part of the same package. 153 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,164 A-Am I really expected to be able... 154 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,686 to bare my soul if I'm ashamed of the body that holds it? 155 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,808 I think a little shame is a good thing. 156 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,405 You're not a porn star, 157 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,005 even though your hair and your makeup... 158 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,645 makes you look like one. [ Gasps ] That's mean. 159 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,087 I'm sorry, but your hair has gotten a little out of hand. 160 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,241 Point taken. 161 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,004 I guess there's only one way to resolve this. 162 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,923 Sing about it. Thank God. 163 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,923 Hit it. 164 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,731 ♪♪ [ Mid-tempo Pop] 165 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:03,004 ♪ I thought I saw a man brought to life ♪ 166 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,050 ♪ He was warm He came around ♪ 167 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,930 ♪ Like he was dignified ♪ 168 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,288 ♪ He showed me what it was to cry ♪ 169 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,769 ♪ Well, you couldn't be the man I adored ♪ 170 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,763 ♪ You don't seem to know; 171 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,410 ♪ Seem to care ♪ 172 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,528 ♪ What your heart is for; 173 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,524 ♪ Oh, I don't know him anymore ♪ 174 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,444 ♪ There's nothing where he used to lie ♪ 175 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,524 ♪ The conversation has run dry; 176 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,206 ♪ And that's what's going on ♪ 177 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,726 ♪ Nothing's fine I'm torn ♪ 178 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,201 [Together] ♪ I'm all out of faith ♪ 179 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,726 ♪ This is how I feel ♪ 180 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:47,567 ♪ I'm cold and I am shamed Lying naked on the floor; 181 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:52,567 ♪ Illusion never changed into something real ♪ 182 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:57,680 ♪ I'm wide awake, and I can see the perfect sky is torn ♪ 183 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,206 ♪ You're a little late ♪ 184 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,080 ♪ I'm already torn ♪ 185 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,803 ♪ So I guess the fortune-teller's right ♪ 186 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,961 ♪ I should have seen just what was there ♪ 187 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,611 ♪ And not some holy light; 188 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,570 ♪ But you crawled beneath my veins and now; 189 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,246 ♪ I don't care I have no luck; 190 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,244 ♪ I don't miss it all that much ♪ 191 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,840 ♪ There's just so many things ♪ 192 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,651 [ Together] ♪ That I can't touch I'm torn ♪ 193 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,366 ♪ I'm all out of faith ♪ ♪ I'm all out of faith ♪ 194 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,408 ♪ This is how I feel ♪ 195 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,682 ♪ How I feel ♪ ♪ I'm cold and I'm ashamed ♪ 196 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,764 [ Together] ♪ Bound and broken on the floor; 197 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,286 ♪ You're a little late ♪ 198 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:50,605 ♪ I'm already torn ♪ 199 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:55,846 ♪ I'm torn ♪ 200 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,969 ♪♪ [ Both Vocalizing ] 201 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,482 ♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪ 202 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,484 ♪♪ [vocalizing Continues] 203 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,767 ♪ I'm already torn ♪♪ 204 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,808 Rachel, have you made up your mind yet? 205 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,963 I need to know right away so we can get you fitted for clown shoes... 206 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,327 for the “End of Times” dream sequence. 207 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,925 I'll do it. 208 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,089 [School Bell Rings] 209 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,164 Hey, Blaine. Will you please go to the mall with me after school? 210 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,009 I want to go clothes shopping. Sure. 211 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,163 - _/~_/~ [ Techno Pop ] - Oh, sweet merciful Lord. 212 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,521 [ Man ] ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 213 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,483 ♪ Oh, Yeah ♪♪ 214 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,524 [Girl ] Nice! [Girls Giggling ] 215 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,681 Sam. 216 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,890 What are you doing? It's January. 217 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,201 What do you mean? It's hot out there, you know? 218 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,805 Sun's out. It's like way above freezing. 219 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,724 Are you sure you're not overcompensating a little? 220 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,485 - Overcompensating for what? - Your S.A.T. scores. 221 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,086 We all heard that you tanked. But don't worry. There are retests. 222 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,969 You know what, dude? Like, if you choose to be jealous... 223 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,769 of my hard-core rockin' bod, that's on you. 224 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,444 For the record, Blaine has an awesome body... 225 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,204 and a perky and delicious behind... 226 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,170 that looks like it got baked to perfection by some sort of master chef. 227 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,690 Thanks, Tina. 228 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,967 Sam, I'm just looking out for you. I'm trying to be your friend. 229 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,850 Then put down the “Hatorade” and come to my seminar this afternoon. 230 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,281 Your seminar? Yeah. For the Men of McKinley calendar. 231 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,641 It's a one-hour course entitled “Modern Centerfold: 232 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,688 Techniques that Work for Today's Hot Young Posers.” 233 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,207 3:30. Locker room. No chicks. 234 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,644 ♪ ./' [ Ends ] 235 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,404 Downward dog. 236 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,689 Into the half pigeon. 237 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,246 [Sam Groans] 238 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,368 Feel it in the buttocks right there. 239 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,011 And now back into the lotus position. 240 00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,491 Relax. [ Exhales] 241 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,403 Why are we doing this again? 242 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,084 It's “bro-ga”- yoga for bros. 243 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,562 All about getting in the best possible shape for the calendar. 244 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,246 Well, not everyone in here looks like they're on the CW. 245 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,290 Some of us are more... PBS. 246 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,847 - Does the calendar really need to be shirtless? - 'Fraid so, dude. 247 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,082 But don't sweat it, 'cause in no time, we'll all be centerfold-ready, 248 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,764 thanks to White Chocolate's strip tips. 249 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,649 Rule number one, manscape, all right? 250 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,449 Nobody wants to see those rando nipple pubes, 251 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,921 or even worse, a back that looks like Chewbacca's ass. 252 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,764 No offense, Joe. Shave it off! 253 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,842 And who says you can't pack a little extra? 254 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,491 I like baby socks. Now, just make sure the sock is clean... 255 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,040 so you don't get any athlete's foot on yourjunk. 256 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,804 Now let's get this party started. 257 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,928 - Uh! - ♪ Want a little bit of ♪ 258 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,207 - ♪ And a little bit of ♪ - ♪ Uh, uh; 259 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,726 -_l~ Just a little bit of ♪ -,1' Uh, uh; 260 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,444 ♪ Just a little bit of ♪ ♪ Uh, uh; 261 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,524 ♪ I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious ♪ 262 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,250 ♪ Flirtatious, trying to show patience ♪ 263 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,800 ♪ Just waiting for the right time to shoot my steez, you know; 264 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,008 ♪ Looking for the right time to flash them G's ♪ 265 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,048 ♪ Then I'm leaving Please believing ♪ 266 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,963 ♪ Me and the rest of my heathens ♪ 267 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,646 ♪ Check it, got it locked at the top of the F0' Seasons ♪ 268 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,961 ♪ Penthouse, rooftop, birds I feeding ♪ 269 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,963 ♪ Years go by I'm lookin' through ♪ 270 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,690 ♪ A girly magazine ♪ 271 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,569 ♪ And there's my homeroom angel ♪ 272 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,847 ♪ On the pages in between ♪ 273 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,164 - ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪ - ♪ So hot ♪ 274 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,242 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 275 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,209 ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪ 276 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,123 - ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ - ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪ 277 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,527 ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪ 278 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,443 - ♪ So hot ♪ - ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 279 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,921 ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪ 280 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,924 - ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ - ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪ 281 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,286 -_l~ Just a little bit of ♪ -,1' Uh, uh; 282 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,805 - ♪ With a little bit of ♪ - ♪ Uh, uh; 283 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,211 ♪ And then they just fall ♪ 284 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,009 ♪ Why you at the bar if you ain't popping the box? ♪ 285 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,923 ♪ What good is all the fame if you ain't bumping the models? ♪ 286 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,570 '.L' I See you driving ♪ -.1' Sports cars ♪ 287 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,369 ♪ Ain't hittin' the throttle I'll be down to do a hundred ♪ 288 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,010 ♪ 'Cause, baby, I can't talk it ♪ 289 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,969 ♪ Warm and fuzzy sweaters ♪ 290 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,168 ♪ Too magical to touch ♪ 291 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:52,006 ♪ To see her in that negligee is really just too much ♪ 292 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,003 ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪ 293 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,082 ♪ So hot,» ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 294 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,889 J HGYJ ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪ 295 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,281 ♪ Hey. hey. hey. hey» ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪ 296 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,601 - ♪ Stop- It's a little bit of; - ♪ Uh, uh ♪ 297 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,051 ♪ And a sprinkle of that ♪ ♪ Uh, uh ♪ 298 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,531 ♪ Nelly just fall out ♪ 299 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,125 -3 I like it when you ♪ C♪ Uh, uh; 300 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,611 ♪ Girl, baby, make it; ♪ Uh, uh 301 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,966 ♪ Let it hang all out; 302 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,644 ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪ 303 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,007 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 304 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,844 -; I am getting so hot; -3 Na, na, na-na, na-na; 305 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,531 ♪ I wanna take my clothes off; ♪ Na, na, na-na-na, na-na; 306 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,046 -_l~ It's getting hot in here ♪ - ,/' 80 hot,» 307 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,804 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 308 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,769 -; I am getting so hot; - _/~ Na, na, na -na, na -na ♪ 309 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,047 - ♪ I wanna take my clothes off; -3 Na, na, na-na-na, na-na; 310 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,606 ♪ Oh! ♪ ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪♪ 311 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,647 [Applause And Cheering ] 312 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:32,801 [ Artie ] Yes! [ Boy ] what? 313 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,123 You guys- You guys, that was amazing. 314 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,961 We are going to make so much money. Yeah! [ Students Cheering ] 315 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,889 [ School Bell Rings ] [ Girl ] Yeah. That was really good. 316 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,370 Okay. [ Sighs ] 317 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,402 - Here goes. - Well, well, well. 318 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,689 If it isn't the underage, smut-peddling, non-teacher Finn Hudson. 319 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,247 Not satisfied with making a mockery of the American education system... 320 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,129 by your mere presence at this school, 321 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,726 you have besmirched the dignity of such everyday heroes... 322 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,689 as this woman with Crohn's disease- 323 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,489 whose name I do not know- 324 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:11,282 by bringing the dark specter of pornography to these hallowed halls. 325 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,842 Well, Crohnsey and I are here to tell you, this will not stand. 326 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,208 Sue Sylvester, you can suck a hot one, 327 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,282 because you are a hypocrite. 328 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,248 I beg your pardon? 329 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:28,609 I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school... 330 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,529 who once took horse estrogen... 331 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,290 and posed for Penthouse back in the day. 332 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,044 So maybe I can just track that down, 333 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,010 make a few copies and sell those to raise money for regionals. 334 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,289 That's nothing but a rumor. 335 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,210 But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold, 336 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,841 so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term “hirsute”... 337 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,571 and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber, 338 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:54,248 they named it “The Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle,” 339 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,405 I promise you, my friend, you would never find it. 340 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,768 Well, I guess we'll see about that. 341 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,365 [ Chuckles ] 342 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,442 [School Bell Rings] 343 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,762 [ Exhales, Sniffs] 344 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,847 Good morning. 345 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,285 He)'- 346 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,767 What? Your boyfriend's bare ass... 347 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,002 is on one of my vintage flea market chairs. 348 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,885 Hey, I'm not ashamed of my body, and I wanted to show Rachel... 349 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,361 that I support her choice completely. 350 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,283 Thank you. I was cast in a student art film, 351 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,249 and I'm gonna be doing a topless scene in it. 352 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,482 - No, you're not. - Rachel looks smokin'. 353 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,689 Rachel is a serious actress, Brody. She doesn't do nudity. 354 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,962 Look, as performers, that's a question... 355 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,690 that we're all gonna have to face. 356 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,250 If you want to win an Oscar, 357 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,004 you have to show your boobs. 358 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,926 Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates- 359 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,650 I don't get it. 360 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,122 A year ago, you were all plaid skirts and “Do you think Finn likes me?” 361 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,804 And now you're Slutty Barbie, 362 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,008 asking Misogynist Ken to move in with you, doing pornos. 363 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,801 - What's happening to you? - I'm growing up, Kurt. Maybe you should try it too. 364 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,962 And it's not a porno. It's a good movie. 365 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,886 I'm gonna do it- with or without yoursuppofl. 366 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,410 [ Door Slides Open ] 367 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,126 [School Bell Rings] 368 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,010 When I get a text saying, “Emergency. Meet me in the auditorium,” 369 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,402 I assume that you're on fire, or being attacked by a pack of monkeys. 370 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:35,008 I was, but the monkeys had squirt guns, and they put the fire out. 371 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,168 Thatsoundedfunnmw in my head. [Laughs] 372 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,890 Uh, seriously, I- I wanted... 373 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,328 to start working on some song ideas I had for regionals. 374 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,482 I kind of have some redeeming to do. 375 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,642 No, you don't. Everyone is cool with you now. 376 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,683 No, they aren't. Okay, they're not. 377 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,001 But don't put too much pressure on yourself. 378 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,730 That's how things got messed up last time. 379 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,610 I think I have the perfect song for us to sing. 380 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,763 I like this tune. It's super romantic. 381 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,444 Is it? 382 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,322 ♪♪ [ Rock Ballad ] 383 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,007 ♪ The day we met; 384 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:15,849 ♪ Frozen, I held my breath ♪ 385 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,002 ♪ Right from the start ♪ 386 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:23,120 ♪ I knew that I'd found the home for my heart ♪ 387 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,127 To fall ♪ 388 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:31,206 ♪ But watching you stand alone ♪ 389 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,891 ♪ All of my doubt; 390 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:40,206 ♪ Suddenly goes away somehow ♪ 391 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:48,483 [Together] ♪ One step closer; 392 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:53,441 ♪ I have died every day waiting for you ♪ 393 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,251 ♪ Darling, don't be afraid ♪ 394 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,084 ♪ I have loved you ♪ 395 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,290 ♪ For a thousand years ♪ 396 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:08,720 ♪ I'll love you for a thousand more ♪ 397 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:18,006 ♪ Time stands still ♪ 398 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:23,291 ♪ Beauty in all she is ♪ 399 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,681 [ Together] .1' Every breath ♪ 400 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:32,041 ♪ Every hour has come to this ♪ 401 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:39,891 ♪ One step closer; 402 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,966 ♪ I have died every day waiting for you ♪ 403 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,520 ♪ Darling, don't be afraid ♪ 404 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,841 ♪ I have loved you ♪ 405 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,925 ♪ For a thousand years ♪ 406 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:59,962 ♪ I'll love you for a thousand more ♪ 407 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:05,524 ♪ And all along I believed I would find you ♪ 408 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,285 ♪ Time has brought your heart to me ♪ 409 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:14,720 ♪ I have loved you for a thousand years ♪ 410 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:21,530 ♪ I'll love you for a thousand more ♪ 411 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,289 ♪ I will love you ♪ 412 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:35,086 ♪ A thousand years ♪ 413 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:40,802 ♪ Mm-mmm, mmm ♪♪ 414 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,085 What? 415 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,164 There's something you want to tell me. I can tell. 416 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,287 L\ 417 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,765 I love... 418 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,045 the song. 419 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,249 I love this song, but it's not right for regionals. 420 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,962 [School Bell Rings] 421 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,363 What's goin' on? 422 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,687 Sue Sylvester's coming down super hard on the calendar. 423 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,250 She's saying it's pornography. 424 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,209 Wait. Isn't she the one that posed for Playboy? 425 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,442 Pen!/70¢/se- And I need you to track it down. 426 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,329 Hold up. 427 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,243 You want me to spend the next few days... 428 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,769 carefully paging through decades and decades of vintage pornography? 429 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,401 - You've come to the right place. - Thank you, and the Men of McKinley thank you. 430 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,289 Finn, about that. 431 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,601 I'm not sure I want to pose for the calendar. 432 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,446 My body is sort of... broken, 433 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,841 and I'm not really eager to start showing it off. 434 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,491 Okay. Well, uh, 435 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,530 we'll get you in some sweats and a kick-ass muscle shirt. 436 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,171 Look, I really want to help out, but I just think a photo of me... 437 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,363 is gonna end up being a photo of my chair. Then forget the chair. 438 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,124 You can lay on a bed or something... 439 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,202 and pose with, like, a bunch of sexy pillows. 440 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,089 Finn, you're not hearing me. 441 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,083 I don't want to pose for the calendar. 442 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,846 And that whole pillow scenario you just described sounds deeply emasculating. 443 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,810 It's not just girls who have body issues. 444 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,804 Sometimes guys aren't cool with showing off their bodies either. 445 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,803 Then don't. 446 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,565 L-I don't want to make you do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. 447 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,642 Thanks for telling me. 448 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,451 And you know what? 449 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,091 That was really brave of you, saying no just then. 450 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,483 And I think it's totally cool... 451 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,166 that there's a part of yourself you want to keep private. 452 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,368 [School Bell Rings] 453 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,283 I'm thinking about naming my shoulders. 454 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,089 You know, like The Situation has his abs? 455 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,650 That could be my signature thing. 456 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,802 One could be Smith and the other could be Wesson. 457 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,571 You name arms after guns, not shoulders. 458 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,842 - Shoulders are part of your arms. - No, they're part of your shoulders. 459 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,490 And don't pick a signature when you know... 460 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,767 that my John Hancocks are clearly better than yours. 461 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,810 - No, they're not. - Do I need to humiliate you right now? 462 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,166 Bring it. 463 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,801 - _/'_/' [ Techno Pop Intro ] - A'ig ht. 464 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,451 -,/~ Oh, yeah,» - [ Exhales ] 465 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:18,806 - They're on fire. - J 0/7, /93/7JJ 466 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,325 I am a statue. 467 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,807 There's our money-makers. 468 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,848 This is the boys' locker room. You can't be in here. 469 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,048 We couldn't help ourselves. Your chick magnets drew us in. 470 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,964 I wanted to talk to you about the concepts for your pictures. 471 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,409 Ryder, you're February and July. I was thinking heart boxers and a sexy Uncle Sam thing. 472 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,006 You're going to be June and October. June is a beach theme. 473 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,924 And for October, you're just gonna be holding a “Jake-o'-lantern”... 474 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,525 over your naughty bits. 475 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,649 We're gonna go find Artie and tell him about his March sexy leprechaun. 476 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,241 I thought Kitty was gonna jump you right in here. 477 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,283 Mmm? Dude, you want to know the weirdest thing? 478 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,170 If a girl in the next room is into me, I can feel it. 479 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,362 [ Chuckles ] But since I've been seeing Marley, 480 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,721 it's like there's not another girl on the planet. 481 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,245 Wow. That is hard-core. 482 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,687 I'm sorry. I try not to talk about her with you. 483 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,286 It stings sometimes, but this is serious. 484 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:08,885 All right? You're really into her. 485 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,406 Then the other day we were singing this, like, romantic song together, 486 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:16,566 and then, right at the end, I thought that she was gonna say it to me. 487 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,926 Say what? 488 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:21,770 Oh! Oh. 489 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,081 It. 490 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,605 [ Stammers ] What would you have done? 491 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,569 I would have said it back. 492 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,483 I mean, that's the way I feel. 493 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,241 Then you have to tell her first. N- I can't do that. 494 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,288 That's... terrifying. 495 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:38,443 Chicks dig hot guys who are willing to get naked for a calendar, 496 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,562 but what they're really looking for... 497 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,768 is a guy who will get naked emotionally. 498 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,842 ♪♪ [ Piano: Ballad Intro ] 499 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,485 ♪ Much as you blame yourself ♪ 500 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,562 ♪ You can't be blamed ♪ 501 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,611 ♪ For the way that you feel ♪ 502 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,448 ♪ Had no example ♪ 503 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,761 ♪ Of a love that was ♪ 504 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:09,363 ♪ Even remotely real ♪ 505 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,966 ♪ How can you understand ♪ 506 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:16,841 ♪ Something that you never had? ♪ 507 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,285 ♪ If you let me ♪ 508 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,408 ♪ I can help you out; 509 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,002 ♪ With all of that; 510 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,408 ♪ Let me love you ♪ 511 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,051 ♪ And I will love you ♪ 512 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,963 ♪ Until you learn ♪ 513 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,611 ♪ To love yourself ♪ 514 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,409 ♪ Let me love you ♪ 515 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,926 ♪ A heart of numbness ♪ 516 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,168 ♪ Gets brought to life ♪ 517 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,210 ♪ I'll take you there ♪ 518 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,128 ♪ I can see the pain ♪ 519 00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,964 ♪ Behind your eyes ♪ 520 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,682 ♪ It's been there for quite a while ♪ 521 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,764 ♪ I just want to be the one ♪ 522 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,524 ♪ To remind you ♪ 523 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,525 ♪ What it is to smile ♪ 524 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,080 ♪ I would like to show you ♪ 525 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,922 ♪ What true love can really do ♪ 526 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,441 ♪ Let me love you ♪ 527 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,329 ♪ And I will love you ♪ 528 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,767 ♪ Until you learn ♪ 529 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,326 ♪ To love yourself ♪ 530 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:31,606 ♪ Let me love you ♪ 531 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,126 ♪ I know your trouble ♪ 532 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,202 ♪ Don't be afraid ♪ 533 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,964 ♪ Oh, I can help; 534 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,247 ♪ Let me love you ♪ 535 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,402 ♪ A heart of numbness ♪ 536 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,721 ♪ Is brought to life ♪ 537 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:52,321 ♪ I'll take you there ♪ 538 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,562 ♪ Let me love you ♪ 539 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,120 ♪ I know your trouble ♪ 540 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,885 ♪ Don't be afraid ♪ 541 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,049 ♪ Oh, I can help ♪♪ 542 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,442 [ Sighs ] 543 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:13,487 Whoo! 544 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,403 [ Finn ] That was awesome, man. 545 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,130 Absolutely a contender for regionals. 546 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,010 - Who was that song for? - Uh, that was for Marley. 547 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,323 Is there anything else you wanted to say to her? 548 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,880 Uh, I think the song pretty much said it. 549 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,042 [Applause ] 550 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,881 Kurt, the hipster from downstairs with the curlicue mustache... 551 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,566 wants to borrow your Russian hat. 552 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,881 Oh, my God! What are you doing here? 553 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,123 Lady Hummel called, begging us to do an emergency intervention. 554 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,804 - On who? - You. 555 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,089 You guys came all the way to New York... 556 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,844 just to talk to me because Kurt called you? 557 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,200 We're also here to shop. 558 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,044 [ Quinn ] And we're here to apologize to Quinn... 559 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,805 for slapping her across the face very, very hard. 560 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,962 In theory. We'll just see if that happens. 561 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,122 Rachel, you cannot do a nude scene. 562 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,766 It's not a nude scene. It's just a topless scene. Same thing. 563 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,446 Topless is as nude as anyone is ever gonna want to see you. 564 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,450 Let's say you do it. Think about the two-two-two rule. 565 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,887 In two weeks, how are you gonna feel about the nude scene? 566 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,843 You'll probably feel pretty great. Yeah. 567 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,129 You'll get to feel a nice, cool breeze on them skeeter bites. 568 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,602 - You'll feel refreshed even. - Then, how are you gonna feel about it two months from now? 569 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:24,241 I don't know. Nervous? Worried it may not even be good? 570 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,926 Rachel, it's a student film. It's not gonna be good. 571 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,408 And two years from now? How are you gonna feel aboutflthen? 572 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,121 Guilty. Just... hoping my kids won't ever see it online. 573 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,009 Oh, they'll see it. Mm-hmm. 574 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,287 And they will never be the same. 575 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,966 Okay, wait. Why am- Why am I even taking advice from you, okay? 576 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,771 - Didn't you have a sex tape that leaked online? - Yes, I did. 577 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,366 A sex tape that follows me around to this very day. 578 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,283 Look my name up on the Internet right now. 579 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,244 “Santana Lopez, nude, lez, boobies, sex tape, 580 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,448 Mexican or Dominican,” question mark. 581 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,204 Booyah. That will exist forever. 582 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,403 But, Santana, some women find it empowering to be naked on film. 583 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,130 Yes, but not in a student film... 584 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,561 that is probably about someone's grandma with Alzheimer's. 585 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,246 Look. We care about you. 586 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:11,211 And for once, Rachel, we actually have your best interests in mind. 587 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,770 Please don't do it. 588 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,642 ♪♪ [ Techno Pop] 589 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,563 [ Shutter Clicking ] 590 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,410 [ Tina ] Good. 591 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,084 Give me sexy liberty. 592 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:26,650 Give me sexy freedom. 593 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,451 Give me "I want you” sexy. 594 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,530 All right! August is up next. 595 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,443 Artie, are you sure you don't want to pose? 596 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,921 No, I'm happy posing with this bounce-board over here. 597 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,526 Hey, why don't we do August with a few of the guys? 598 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,125 Blaine, why don't you jump in with Sam? 599 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,402 - You're looking particularly cute today. - I'll do it too. 600 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,404 No offense, Joe, but I don't really think you want to be in a shot next to me. 601 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,084 My washboards are gonna make you look like... 602 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,447 - a bloated white Bob Marley. - I'm as God made me, dude. 603 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,767 The reality is, we probably should have just done a Sam Evans calendar. 604 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,764 Yes, and every month we could see you dressed as a different brand ofjerkwad. 605 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,842 Guys, we waited too long. I lost my pump. 606 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,524 - I need five minutes. - What? 607 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,087 Just go. You got this. You got this. 608 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,362 You're kind of out of control. Yeah, well, haters gonna hate. 609 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,204 Will you please stop lifting? 610 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,248 This isn't who you are, Sam. 611 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,125 You're not just some body-obsessed muscle head. You don't know what it's like. 612 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,248 You can sing and dance, and you kick butt in school... 613 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,924 and you're all charming and everything. 614 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,288 I have to announce my presence with authority the second I walk into a room. 615 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,647 People have to notice me, or else they never will. 616 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,644 People laugh at my impressions because how I look already has them on board. 617 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,366 Do you really believe that? It's just a fact. 618 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,965 If you want to make it in this world, you have to be special. 619 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,371 And you are special. 620 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,609 Even without your body. 621 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,048 No, I'm not, man. lt's- It's all I have. 622 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,724 I'm exhausted. 623 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,326 Watching what I eat all the time, my two-a-day workouts- 624 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,051 Let it go. Have a burger every now and then. 625 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,804 Eat a bag of Cheetos. 626 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,928 Skip your workouts. Sleep in a little. 627 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,287 Your body isn't gonna change. 628 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,842 And even if you have seven percent body fat, 629 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,605 you're gonna see that all of us are still gonna love you. 630 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,603 And we're gonna laugh at your impressions. 631 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,409 [School Bell Rings] ♪♪ [Whistling ] 632 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,404 And what, may I ask, is this? 633 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,767 Turns out it wasn't too hard to track down, after all. 634 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,729 Well. 635 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,768 I'm impressed. I'm not gonna lie. 636 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:22,640 I thought I'd purchased every last issue from eBay. 637 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,929 I'm not ashamed of this centerfold. 638 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,331 In fact, 639 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:33,203 I feel like taking a gander at that glorious taco right now. 640 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,805 You idiot. 641 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,723 You had me skewered. 642 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,643 Why on earth would you let me open that? 643 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,290 Because now... 644 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,131 I have your confession ontape. 645 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,521 I'm not ashamed of this centerfold. 646 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,604 - /n fa ct, I feel //ke faking a gander az' ('ha 2'- - Checkmate. 647 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,648 glorious taco right now. 648 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,522 [ Exhales] 649 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,807 [School Bell Rings] 650 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,769 Did you want to see me? What are you doing here? 651 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,002 Blaine asked me to look into something for you. 652 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,730 Come on in and have a seat. 653 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,683 This is a very small sampling of colleges... 654 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,724 that don't require S.A.T. or A.C.T. scores. 655 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,370 And they're really good schools, Sam. 656 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,124 They're schools that recognize that a test score... 657 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,885 - isn't always the best measure of your intelligence. - Or creativity. 658 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,248 You can always take the S.A.T.'s again if you want. A lot of kids do that. 659 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,642 Yeah, well, let's say I somehow get into college somewhere. I still can't afford it. 660 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,848 Yes, you can, because even in this economy, 661 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,002 there are hundreds of scholarships out there. 662 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,923 What you need for these is a personal essay... 663 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,968 about yourself and your accomplishments. 664 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,849 Like what? Like my abs and my fish lips? 665 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,729 Like the Glee Club. Like student council. 666 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,325 - Swimming- - Synchronized swimming. 667 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,562 You've accomplished a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for. 668 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,803 But why don't you take that home and, um, just think about it? 669 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,246 ♪♪ [ Piano] 670 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,846 [ Bird Squawking] 671 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,922 [ Electra] You are lost. 672 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:58,642 Is this real? You've been here before, but... nothing looks familiar. 673 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,770 And that smell- You recognize that smell. 674 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,049 And now, you see him- 675 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:07,690 Titus. 676 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,362 You want him. 677 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,807 And deep breath. 678 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,405 Drop the robe. 679 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,045 Rachel, drop the robe. 680 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,202 Cut. I'm sorry, can we- Can we just cut? 681 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,442 Only I'm allowed to say cut. Cut. 682 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,727 I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a diva or anything, 683 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,690 but, um, there's just- there are so many people here right now. 684 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,604 Do you think we can- They're here for you. 685 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,206 My D.P. literally sculpts with light. 686 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,170 Now, he can't do that without his crew. 687 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,049 He's promised me this would be sweeping. 688 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,647 Would you like me to tell him that you don't want it to be sweeping? 689 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,441 I need all the crew to- to take off their clothes. 690 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,922 Yeah, it'll help. It'll, um, you know, just... distract... 691 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,571 and-and-and take the attention off of me. 692 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,802 - Seriously? - Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. 693 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,370 Everybody, take your shirts off. 694 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,249 [ Man Whistles ] 695 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,368 ♪♪ [ Techno Pop] 696 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,089 Okay, back to one. 697 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:09,281 Roll sound. 698 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,011 - [ Man ] Scene 10, take two. - And action. 699 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:13,764 Okay, you're lost. 700 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,286 Are you awake? Is this a dream? 701 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,285 Perhaps a life lived long ago, 702 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,648 and now you see him- 703 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:24,926 Titus. 704 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,561 You're filled with a carnal hunger. 705 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,281 You need to be naked now. 706 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,806 And drop the robe. 707 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,204 Rachel, drop the robe! 708 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,248 - I'm sorry. Cut. - Stop saying cut. 709 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,209 I'm sorry. I can't do this. 710 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,011 I respect you, and I respect your movie, 711 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,321 but I just. 712 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,922 I'm not ready. Then you should have told me that when I asked you. 713 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,368 I was telling you the truth when I said yes, and I'm telling you the truth now. 714 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,727 I think it's okay for actresses to be naked, 715 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,043 and-and maybe someday I'll be ready, but... 716 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,248 I just realized that... 717 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,567 I'm not ready to be naked now. 718 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,881 Well, then what you can do now... 719 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,088 is get the hell off my grandmother's dreamscape. 720 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,723 - G; [ Piano: Mid-tempo Intro ] - Take five, everyone. 721 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,643 Looks like / will have to play Grandma. 722 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,647 ♪ Head underwater; 723 00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:23,882 ♪ And they tell me ♪ 724 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:27,043 ♪ To breathe easy for a while ♪ 725 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,930 ♪ Breathing gets harder; 726 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,642 ♪ Even I know that; 727 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:36,489 ♪ I made room for me ♪ 728 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,404 ♪ It's too soon to see ♪ 729 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,484 ♪ If I'm happy in your hands ♪ 730 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,887 ♪ I'm unusually; 731 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:48,646 ♪ Hard to hold on to ♪ 732 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,329 ♪ Convinced me to please you ♪ 733 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:58,325 ♪ Made me think that I need this too ♪ 734 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,609 ♪ I'm trying to let you ♪ 735 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,445 ♪ Hear me as I am; 736 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,602 ♪ I'm not gonna write you a love song ♪ 737 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,808 ♪ 'Cause you asked for it ♪ 738 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,360 ♪ 'Cause you need one, you see ♪ 739 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:15,081 ♪ I'm not gonna write you a love song ♪ 740 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,403 ♪ 'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this ♪ 741 00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,847 ♪ If you're on your way ♪ 742 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,891 ♪ I'm not gonna write you to stay ♪ 743 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,689 ♪ If all you have is leaving ♪ 744 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,242 ♪ I'm-a need a better reason to write you ♪ 745 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:34,291 ♪ A love song today; 746 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,051 ♪ Promise me ♪ 747 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:41,523 ♪ That you'll leave the light on ♪ 748 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,967 ♪ 'Cause I believe ♪ 749 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,249 ♪ There's a way you can love me ♪ 750 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:48,924 ♪ Because I say ♪ 751 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,441 ♪ I won't write you a love song ♪ 752 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,966 ♪ 'Cause you asked for it ♪ 753 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,883 ♪ 'Cause you need one ♪ 754 00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,487 ♪ You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song ♪ 755 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,963 ♪ 'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this ♪ 756 00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:07,567 ♪ Is that why you wanted a love song? ♪ 757 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,449 - 3 A love song 3 - 3 'Cause you tell me it's 3 758 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,324 ♪ Make or break in this ♪ 759 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,209 ♪ If you're on your way ♪ 760 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:17,086 ♪ I'm not gonna write you ♪ ♪ Write you to stay ♪ 761 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,003 ♪ If your heart is nowhere in it; 762 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,731 ♪ I don't want it for a minute, babe ♪ 763 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,609 - 3 I'll walk the seven seas 3 - 3 Walk the seven seas 3 764 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,571 - ♪ When I believe that there's a reason to write you ♪ - ♪ Write you ♪ 765 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,041 ♪ A love song today; 766 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,202 ♪ Tod3Y ♪ 767 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,203 ♪ Hey, t0daY ♪ 768 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,328 ♪ I won't write you a love song ♪ 769 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,164 ♪ Yeah ♪ 770 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:39,480 ♪ Tod3Y ♪ 771 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,484 ♪ I won't write you a love song ♪ 772 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,848 ♪ Today :4' 773 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,844 [ Rachel Squeals] Yay. 774 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,922 Thank you guys so much. 775 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,367 It's like my dads say- you can't make new old friends. 776 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,324 - No regrets? - None. But do you have to go? Can you stay a little longer? 777 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,329 - 'Cause I would love to buy you dinner. - I'm in. 778 00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,925 - Sure. - Good, okay. 779 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,923 I'm in no rush to get back to Kentucky. 780 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,686 I think I could get used to it here in New York. It's more my speed. 781 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,683 [School Bell Rings] 782 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,282 'Youready to write that essay? No, I'm not. 783 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,283 Well, I've been doing a little research, 784 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,488 um, with some folks that know you really well, 785 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,244 and they all seem to think... 786 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,166 that you've actually accomplished quite a bit. 787 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,050 [ Tina ] Sam saved sectionals last year... 788 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,691 when we were short a member and he moved back to McKinley. 789 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,683 [ Artie ] He rescued our nationals trophy. 790 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,683 [ Tina ] And then he saved sectionals again this year... 791 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,489 when he found out the Warblers cheated. 792 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,530 Trouty Mouth inspired me to try my hand at songwriting. 793 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,284 Sam was the first person in America... 794 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,004 to do a Sean Connery impression. 795 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,766 ♪ Grouper Mouth ♪ 796 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,684 His impression was what made Sean Connery's career really take off.? 797 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,444 [ Santana ] ♪ Froggy Lips ♪ 798 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,568 [ Mercedes ] Sam gave me the courage to follow my dreams... 799 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,130 and become a singer. 800 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,441 And without him I probably would have never moved to L.A. 801 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,524 And let's not forget when Sam took care of his entire family... 802 00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,250 after his dad lost his job. 803 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,448 They were living in a motel, homeless, 804 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,251 and Sam supported them. 805 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,810 I mean, that's pretty amazing. 806 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,441 He's a really substantial person. 807 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:13,002 Now, that's... your essay. 808 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,040 [ Sighs, Sniffles ] 809 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,248 [Voice Breaking ] Thanks. Thanks, bro. 810 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,402 Don't mention it. 811 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,564 [School Bell Rings] Hey, Artie. 812 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,961 Oh, I'm sorry, Do I need to take my shirt off while addressing you? 813 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,681 Listen, the bottom line is that we have two empty months in this calendar. 814 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,162 We want you to fill them. And I-I totally understand wanting to keep your shirt on. 815 00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,527 You want to be known for more than just your massive biceps. 816 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:44,401 Look, it's hard enough being the only one in a chair posing for this calendar. 817 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,484 I don't really want to be the only one wearing clothes either. 818 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:48,721 You won't be. 819 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,404 [ School Bell Rings ] 820 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:54,041 [ Chattering, Laughing ] 821 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,045 [ Girl ] Watch out! 822 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,929 [ Girl #2 ] Hey, oh. 823 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,969 [ Chuckling ] 824 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,687 You have such broad shoulders. 825 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,570 If you ever want to tap this, seriously, just say the word. 826 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:21,651 Thank you. 827 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:26,288 [ Sighs ] So, how much smut money did you raise? 828 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:27,964 About 350 bucks. 829 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,520 Another 50 and we've covered the bus to regionals. 830 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,046 Well, you're a worthy adversary, Finn Hudson, 831 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,963 and that'll make you all the more delicious... 832 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:38,840 when I've got you slowly roasting on a spit. 833 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,127 But, like, literally delicious. 834 00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,442 Hey, you don't have to wait in line. 835 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,007 I actually already made one out for you. Thank you. 836 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,045 I love you back. 837 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,244 Ugh! Gross! 838 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,846 Get a room! 839 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:13,687 Please make it out to “My future wife, Becky Jackson.” 840 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,728 I wish you'd lose the shirt... 841 00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,280 so I can drool over that hot bod. 842 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,523 Well, listen, I think you both are hot, topless or not. 843 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,762 And do you know how I know? 'Cause I'm a genius. 844 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,922 You know what? I'm really excited about this new year. 845 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,651 - [ Gasps ] - Me too. It's a new year and a new me. 846 00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:34,165 ' J'./' I UP-fempo Pop ] - ♪♪ [vocalizing ] 847 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,887 ♪ Another year you made a promise ♪ 848 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:44,648 ♪ Another chance to turn it all around ♪ 849 00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:48,202 ♪ And do not save this for tomorrow ♪ 850 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:53,320 ♪ Embrace the past, and you can live for now ♪ 851 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:58,566 ♪ And I will give the world to you ♪ 852 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,166 ♪♪ [vocalizing ] 853 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:06,048 ♪ Speak louder than the words before you ♪ 854 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:10,682 ♪ And give them meaning no one else has found ♪ 855 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:15,049 ♪ The role we play is so important ♪ 856 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:19,802 ♪ We are the voices of the underground ♪ 857 00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,803 'J'Andl; 858 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,680 ♪ Will give the world to you ♪ 859 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,646 ♪ Say everything you've always wanted ♪ 860 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:37,322 ♪ Be not afraid of who you really are ♪ 861 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:41,485 ♪ 'Cause in the end we have each other; 862 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:46,162 ♪ And that's at least one thing worth living for; 863 00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:47,605 ♪ AndlJ~ N; 864 00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:53,289 ♪ Would give the world to you ♪ 865 00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:00,564 - [ Inaudible] - ♪ I pass ♪ 866 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,927 ♪ It back to you ♪ 867 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,001 ♪ AndlJ~ 868 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:10,085 ♪ Will wait for you ♪ 869 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:15,848 ♪ 'Cause I would give the world ♪ 870 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,050 ♪ And I would give the world ♪ 871 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:24,808 ♪ And I would give the world ♪ 872 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,962 ♪ To YOU ♪ 873 00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,960 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 874 00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,086 -_l~ I would give; -.I' Oh.l' 875 00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,448 ♪ The world to you ♪ 876 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,283 .RTo.r 877 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,331 - ♪ This is the new year; - ♪ This is the new year; 878 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,880 ♪ A new beginning .1' 879 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:52,849 - ♪ You made a promise ♪ - ♪ You made a promise ♪ 880 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,241 ♪ You are the brightest; 881 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,607 - ♪ We are the voices ♪ - ♪ We are ♪ 882 00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:00,405 - ♪ Oh-ho ♪ - ♪ This is the new year; 883 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,687 ♪ We are the voices ♪ 884 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,888 - ♪ This is the new year; - ♪♪ [vocalizing ] 885 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,327 ♪ A new beginning .1' 886 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:12,122 ♪ You made a promise We are the voices ♪ 887 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:13,850 ♪ This is the new year ♪♪ 888 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,561 ♪♪ [ Vocalizing ] 889 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:31,487 ♪♪ [ Harmonic Vocalizingj 890 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,723 ♪ ./' [ Ends ]