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So here's what you missed on Glee:
Kurt's in New York
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where he's rooming with Rachel
and planning to interview
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for Vogue.com. Rachel's friend,
Brody, totally wants
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to date her, but she's still
confused about Finn,
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and Finn's still in the army,
and nobody's heard from him.
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- Glee!
- Back at McKinley,
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Mr. Schue's trying to repeat
a win at nationals
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by repeating assignments from last year.
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- Are we doing Britney week again?
- That's great.
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And Sam's new blonde besties with Brittany,
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who didn't graduate and thinks
she's still president even
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though all she accomplished last year
was a dinosaur prom.
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That's what you missed on Glee.
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Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
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(Tears for Fears'
"Everybody Wants to Rule the World" begins)
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BLAINE:
All right, Blaine Anderson,
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time to change things up.
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Last year, it was all
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about letting the seniors shine.
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But this year...
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it's your turn.
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♪ Welcome to your life ♪
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♪ There's no turning back ♪
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♪ Even while we sleep ♪
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♪ We will find you ♪
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♪ Acting on your best behavior ♪
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♪ Turn your back
on Mother Nature ♪
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♪ Everybody wants
to rule the world ♪
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♪ There's a room
where the light won't find you ♪
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♪ Holding hands while the walls
come tumbling down ♪
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♪ When they do,
I'll be right behind you ♪
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♪ So glad we've almost made it ♪
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♪ So sad they had to fade it ♪
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♪ Everybody wants
to rule the world... ♪
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Of course, part of the reason
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I'm doing all these extracurriculars
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is to fill my days
now that Kurt's in New York.
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We talk and Skype and text
as much as possible,
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but the only time we're really in sync
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is when we're hate-watching Treme together.
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These songs go on forever,
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and why isn't there more zydeco?
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♪ I can't stand
this indecision ♪
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♪ Married with a lack
of vision ♪
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♪ Everybody wants
to rule the... ♪
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♪ Say that you'll never,
never, never, never need it ♪
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♪ One headline,
why believe it? ♪
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♪ Everybody wants
to rule the world. ♪
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(song ends)
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What do you think you're doing,
Blaine Warbler?
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I'm running for president.
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KURT:
I've spent the entire
weekend trying to choose
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the absolute perfect outfit because
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I've snagged an interview at--
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drum roll, please--
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Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel.
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Vogue.com.
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Yes, it's just for an internship,
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but I haven't been this nervous
since I auditioned for NYADA,
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and we all know how that turned out.
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I'm meeting with the new senior editor
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and designer extraordinaire.
Isabelle Wright,
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and her stellar reputation precedes her.
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She's a style maverick.
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She double-majored
in fashion design
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and dead romance languages.
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- An iconoclast.
- Rumor has it,
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She gave Steve Jobs
his first black turtleneck.
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She's Vogue's rogue.
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Miss Wright will see you now.
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(knocking)
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Hello?
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Columbus.
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- Excuse me?
- You're from Lima.
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I'm from Columbus.
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And actually,
I once got
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food poisoning in Lima
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at some Italian place,
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It was Bread...
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- Stix?
- Breadstix, yes.
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I can't believe you ate
at Breadstix.
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Well, I wish I hadn't.
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Isabelle Wright.
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Kurt Hummel.
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So, Mr. Hummel,
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I have to tell you,
I am very impressed
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with your online resume,
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especially this gallery
of you
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and your rather bold
clothing choices.
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- Where did you find all this?
- Well, I.. I made most of them,
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And searched the
Internet for bargains.
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And, uh, that half-sweater there
at the bottom, that belonged
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to my dead aunt, and I
found it in her attic.
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And the embroidered calico vest
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was actually inspired
by one of your designs.
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Oh, yes,
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my quilted micro skirt
collection.
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It was an epic fail.
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But like you said
in Vanity Fair,
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"I don't trust anyone who hasn't
failed big at least once."
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Have a seat.
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So, I'm just gonna ask you
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a couple of routine questions
I ask all potential hires.
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Who are your fashion icons?
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Audrey Hepburn,
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Michelle Obama,
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and not to kiss up or anything,
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but... you.
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(chuckles)
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And have you done
any writing on fashion?
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Self journaling, mostly.
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I did weekly updates
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and, um, blogs on Project Runway
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since season one,
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- and...
- Wave your magic wand,
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Where would you be
in four years?
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Working here part-time,
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graduating from NYADA
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and, uh,
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starting
my first Broadway show.
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I know that sounds
presumptuous.
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No.
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Frankly, you should be
more presumptuous, you know?
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This is New York;
It's for dreamers.
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It's for people like you,
who are just starting out,
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and people like me who...
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very much want
to re-invent themselves.
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No, you should dream.
You should dream very, very big.
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And then you should work
incredibly hard
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and make sure you do everything
in your power to make it happen.
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Look, Anna hired me
because she said
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that the Web sites
that I designed
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for my collections
were inspired.
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So neither myself
nor my team
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can let her down,
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and that includes you.
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- Me?
- Well, listen,
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My friend, anybody who can
pull off a hippo brooch
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deserves to be here.
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So welcome to Vogue.com.
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Thank you. Thank you so...
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- Oh, you're very welcome.
- Sorry.
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It's okay. It's okay.
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That should come
with a warning.
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Oh, it did.
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Artie, can I talk
to you for a second?
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Okay, so I'm running
for senior class
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president again, and I
want you to be my VP.
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Being vice
presidential pick
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of McKinley High's
first two-term president
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would look really good
on your college resume.
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I have a 4.0 GPA,
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and I scored a 210
on my practice SAT,
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and I was the only
handi-capable member
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of a national championship
glee club.
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I'm not really worried
about getting into college.
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I know how people like you are
afraid of the spotlight sometimes,
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but did you know that Franklin
Roosevelt was part robot, too,
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- and he's on Mount Rushmore?
- No, he isn't.
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And I'm just going
to say it again,
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- I'm not part robot.
- I realize
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That I didn't do much
as president last year,
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and if you help me
win again this year,
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I promise to do exactly
the same thing, which means
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I'll be president, and you can
make all the boring decisions.
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So I could be Cheney
to your Bush.
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I'd rather be landing strip.
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I mean, it's no secret
that a woman
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loves a man in power,
and don't take this personally,
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but before I graduate,
I would like to have
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a relationship that lasts longer
than a couple weeks.
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Why would I take
that personally?
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- You and I dated.
- We did?
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Look, you've got
yourself a deal.
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- (school bell ringing)
- Cool.
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Okay, as you all know,
as national champions
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we get to host the annual Show
Choir Rules Committee meeting.
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Please tell me you're gonna ask
what 1/3 vintage meant last year?
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Or like, why some teams get
to sing six songs
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and other ones only do one?
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JAKE:
Speaking of competitions,
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shouldn't we start like,
preparing for ours?
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WILL:
I have some ideas
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which I am working on very hard.
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Um...
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I don't really want
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to give anything away
right now...
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I have no ideas. I'm tapped out.
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I spent all last weekend
trying to think of something
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for us to perform,
and all I came up with
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was a scat version of "Carmina Burana."
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- Yes, go ahead.
- Excuse me, I'm not sure if what
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You were saying was actually
important 'cause I wasn't listening
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but I'd like to
make an announcement.
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First, I'd like to know
if anyone can prove that Blaine
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was actually born
in this country.
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Second, I'm wrapping up
the election
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00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,567
by selecting Artie
as my running mate.
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Ah! All right.
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I think by bridging
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the human-slash-robot
divide, we'll ensure
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00:07:44,517 --> 00:07:46,554
that both students and vending
machines will be voting for us.
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00:07:46,555 --> 00:07:48,504
- Still not a robot.
- BLAINE: Brittany, that's not fair.
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00:07:48,505 --> 00:07:49,523
This isn't a popularity contest,
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00:07:49,524 --> 00:07:50,581
it's about who's
got the best ideas.
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00:07:50,582 --> 00:07:52,498
It's about believing
you can make a change, right?
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00:07:52,499 --> 00:07:53,521
ARTIE:
What is that taste
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in my...?
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00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,532
Is that sour grape?
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00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:59,508
- (school bell ringing)
- Brittany.
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00:08:04,521 --> 00:08:06,550
- Hey, butt-chin.
- Hey, Sue.
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00:08:06,551 --> 00:08:08,523
I'm making a list
of potential themes
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00:08:08,524 --> 00:08:09,548
for our set list
at sectionals,
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00:08:09,549 --> 00:08:10,567
and right now I can't decide
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00:08:10,568 --> 00:08:12,520
between classic TV theme songs
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or a salute to autumn.
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00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,524
William, those are terrible.
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00:08:15,525 --> 00:08:16,565
I don't know
what's wrong with me.
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00:08:16,566 --> 00:08:18,531
What happened
to all my good ideas?
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00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,552
Oh, don't kid yourself; you
never had any good ideas.
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00:08:20,553 --> 00:08:22,540
You just didn't notice
because you were too busy
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00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:24,531
chasing your bizarre
childhood dream
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00:08:24,532 --> 00:08:26,517
of a glee club
national championship.
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00:08:26,518 --> 00:08:29,499
And now that that's over,
well, you're waking up
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00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,523
to the incessant
mind-numbing tedium
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00:08:30,524 --> 00:08:33,566
that is the day-to-day life
of a schoolteacher.
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00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,516
Take a look around
you, William,
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00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:36,567
at this sad panoply
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00:08:36,568 --> 00:08:38,499
of walking human garbage.
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00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:40,516
This is what you have
to look forward to.
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00:08:40,517 --> 00:08:41,533
In a few short years,
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00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:44,553
you'll either be an alcoholic...
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00:08:44,554 --> 00:08:46,574
morbidly obese...
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00:08:46,575 --> 00:08:49,553
or both.
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00:08:49,554 --> 00:08:52,516
That's what I like to call
the Full Charlotte Rae.
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00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:54,500
Personally, William,
I think you should take
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00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,507
this opportunity to
bow out gracefully
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00:08:56,508 --> 00:08:58,532
and explore other job
opportunities.
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00:08:58,533 --> 00:09:01,516
Now, your penchant for
bland, simplistic aphorisms
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00:09:01,517 --> 00:09:02,548
could give you a leg up
241
00:09:02,549 --> 00:09:03,571
in the motivational hot-air
balloon poster business,
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00:09:03,572 --> 00:09:05,499
and of course,
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00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,573
your complete lack
of adult friends
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00:09:06,574 --> 00:09:08,567
means you're well on
your way to a career
245
00:09:08,568 --> 00:09:10,499
as a pedophile birthday clown.
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00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,499
But I love my job.
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00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,566
William,
you had a dream,
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00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:15,575
and you achieved it.
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00:09:15,576 --> 00:09:17,499
Now move on.
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00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,570
Otherwise,
you'll end up like that.
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00:09:19,571 --> 00:09:21,567
Quietly smirking
because you just did
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00:09:21,568 --> 00:09:23,537
a little crop-dusting.
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00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:25,592
Oh, and now you're enjoying the
sneaky tickle of your own stink
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00:09:25,593 --> 00:09:28,532
as it ripples up your
enormous, soupy butt crack.
255
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:30,570
(school bell ringing)
256
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,519
Hey, why didn't you ask me
to be your running mate?
257
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:33,558
I'm like the
perfect candidate.
258
00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:35,499
Well, I didn't want it
259
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,571
to ruin our friendship.
260
00:09:36,572 --> 00:09:38,516
I mean, look at Sarah Palin.
261
00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:39,565
She and her grandfather,
they were super close,
262
00:09:39,566 --> 00:09:41,558
and then he asked her
to be his running mate,
263
00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,549
and they lost, and now
they're not even speaking.
264
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,517
But I do think you'd be
a great vice president,
265
00:09:46,518 --> 00:09:48,574
so I'm going to help you out.
266
00:09:48,575 --> 00:09:50,574
Come here.
Blaine Warbler?
267
00:09:50,575 --> 00:09:52,591
I'd like to introduce you
to Sam Evans.
268
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:56,557
Um, we've actually met
several times.
269
00:09:56,558 --> 00:09:58,517
He's your candidate
for vice president.
270
00:09:58,518 --> 00:10:00,517
Uh, no. I'm picking
my own running mate.
271
00:10:00,518 --> 00:10:02,557
My family's on food stamps,
so that will
272
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,498
get you the sympathy vote.
I'm not gay,
273
00:10:04,499 --> 00:10:05,565
so that'll help
with the not-gay vote,
274
00:10:05,566 --> 00:10:07,536
and you know,
I don't want to brag, but...
275
00:10:07,537 --> 00:10:08,583
(imitates George W. Bush):
My impressions are hilarious
276
00:10:08,584 --> 00:10:10,504
100% of the time.
277
00:10:11,504 --> 00:10:12,517
It's George Bush, come on.
278
00:10:12,518 --> 00:10:13,570
Okay, sure.
279
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,516
Awesome.
280
00:10:15,517 --> 00:10:16,538
First order of business,
281
00:10:16,539 --> 00:10:19,499
Artie and I challenge you
and Sam to a debate.
282
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,570
You're on.
283
00:10:20,571 --> 00:10:22,575
(whispering):
What's a debate?
284
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,521
I think it's time
we tackled something
285
00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:29,532
that we have been avoiding
for far too long,
286
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,499
and I think you all know
287
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,516
exactly
288
00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:33,558
what I'm talking about.
289
00:10:40,017 --> 00:10:42,007
Leather...
290
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:45,007
Leather,
but in unexpected ways.
291
00:10:45,008 --> 00:10:46,074
Pitch me.
292
00:10:46,075 --> 00:10:48,024
Okay, it's coming to me.
293
00:10:48,025 --> 00:10:50,082
It's coming to me. It's Italy.
294
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,999
Saló, 1944.
295
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,023
Belts as punishment.
296
00:10:53,024 --> 00:10:54,065
Belts as reward.
297
00:10:54,066 --> 00:10:56,025
"You can't have a belt!
You: put a belt on!"
298
00:10:56,026 --> 00:10:58,003
It's faux-fascist.
299
00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,048
It's... pair it with a chunky
boot.
300
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:00,075
Okay, belts were two years ago,
301
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:03,016
and chunky boots
were five years ago.
302
00:11:03,017 --> 00:11:05,074
While we're on the topic
of the verboten,
303
00:11:05,075 --> 00:11:08,041
I would beg all of you
to please, please
304
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:10,016
not offer up a leather platform.
305
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:13,037
Chase, you know I love you,
and I... and I love
306
00:11:13,038 --> 00:11:15,041
that you're filled
with so much passion,
307
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,036
so I'm definite...
I'm going to...
308
00:11:17,037 --> 00:11:19,017
I'll keep thinking
about it, of course.
309
00:11:19,018 --> 00:11:20,057
Okay.
310
00:11:20,058 --> 00:11:22,020
Um... Daphne.
311
00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:24,016
Leather socks.
312
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,092
Suede underpants.
313
00:11:25,093 --> 00:11:28,074
Cowhide brassieres.
314
00:11:28,075 --> 00:11:30,058
Daphne, did you go
off your meds again?
315
00:11:30,059 --> 00:11:31,066
Yes.
316
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,082
Then I want you to stay off
317
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,766
because that... is sick.
318
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,591
I mean good sick.
That's the...
319
00:11:37,592 --> 00:11:40,499
that's the kind of sick
I want you to be.
320
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,581
You know, that's exactly what
I'm talking about, everybody.
321
00:11:41,582 --> 00:11:43,567
I don't want any rules--
just toss them.
322
00:11:43,568 --> 00:11:45,583
You know,
let's think out of the box.
323
00:11:47,517 --> 00:11:48,590
Or... maybe... I don't know.
324
00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:50,583
Maybe that's... maybe that's
too far out of the box.
325
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,516
Okay, why don't we do this?
326
00:11:52,517 --> 00:11:53,531
Let's, uh... we'll...
327
00:11:53,532 --> 00:11:54,583
we're going to take a...
a little break,
328
00:11:54,584 --> 00:11:56,582
and then we will...
329
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,553
we'll revisit the topic
of leather, okay?
330
00:11:59,554 --> 00:12:01,592
Kurt, can I... can I see you
in my office?
331
00:12:04,504 --> 00:12:07,499
So, what did you think
of the ideas in there?
332
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,592
Fascinating.
333
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:12,520
I hated them.
334
00:12:12,521 --> 00:12:13,556
Look, I-I know I'm
just an intern,
335
00:12:13,557 --> 00:12:15,550
but I feel like
"unexpected leather"
336
00:12:15,551 --> 00:12:18,499
should be in the back pages
of The Village Voice.
337
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,541
No, I know, I agree, but Mand...
338
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,021
Mandy, you know,
the receptionist,
339
00:12:24,022 --> 00:12:26,507
every time I walk
by her, she suggests
340
00:12:26,508 --> 00:12:29,082
that I do an article on
trends in animal hide.
341
00:12:29,083 --> 00:12:32,499
And then her cat died.
Did you know her cat died?
342
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,516
So, what, am I
going to say no?
343
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:37,500
- So now I'm stuck with leather.
- No, you're not.
344
00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:38,558
There are a million
different ideas.
345
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,541
Uh, we could do a music
video that pays tribute
346
00:12:41,542 --> 00:12:43,541
to the most cutting-edge
fashion, right?
347
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:46,582
Well, I told Chase Madison
that I would do his piece
348
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:50,524
on Spanx for cankles:
"Spankles."
349
00:12:50,525 --> 00:12:53,532
Oh, God. I'm an artist,
not a manager.
350
00:12:53,533 --> 00:12:56,503
I... I can't say no to anybody.
I can't bear it.
351
00:12:56,504 --> 00:12:58,503
You know, I'm...
I'm used to knocking on doors,
352
00:12:58,504 --> 00:12:59,538
not bolting them shut.
353
00:12:59,539 --> 00:13:03,499
Back in the day, if I had
an idea-- a crazy idea--
354
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,570
I knew if it was good
based on my instinct.
355
00:13:05,571 --> 00:13:09,532
And now crazy ideas
just seem crazy to me.
356
00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:13,553
You know, like, uh, uh...
uh, high-heeled galoshes or, um,
357
00:13:13,554 --> 00:13:15,553
equestrian underwear-- what?
358
00:13:15,554 --> 00:13:20,549
And I can't...
I can't land anything.
359
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,532
I just feel
like I lucked
360
00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:25,516
into a job
that I don't deserve, and I...
361
00:13:25,517 --> 00:13:27,532
honestly, I-I-I...
I have no idea
362
00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:28,583
what I'm doing.
363
00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:30,516
My collection was a failure.
364
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:31,523
I can't fail at this.
365
00:13:31,524 --> 00:13:33,506
And I just rented
a one-bedroom apartment
366
00:13:33,507 --> 00:13:34,573
in Midtown
so I could walk to work.
367
00:13:34,574 --> 00:13:36,567
But now I'm not going to have
a job to walk to
368
00:13:36,568 --> 00:13:38,499
or an apartment to walk from.
369
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,533
I'm going to be homeless.
370
00:13:39,534 --> 00:13:40,549
Hey, hey.
371
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:43,507
You are not
going to be homeless.
372
00:13:43,508 --> 00:13:45,516
All right? You can
always come stay
373
00:13:45,517 --> 00:13:47,508
with me and my roommate
in Bushwick.
374
00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:49,532
Oh, God.
375
00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:51,507
Brittany, I just got a copy
376
00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:53,507
of Jacob Ben Israel's
latest presidential poll.
377
00:13:53,508 --> 00:13:55,591
The good news is 90%
of respondents said
378
00:13:55,592 --> 00:13:57,523
they're planning
on attending Friday's debate.
379
00:13:57,524 --> 00:13:59,506
That's cool.
So what's the bad news?
380
00:13:59,507 --> 00:14:01,542
90% of those respondents said
they were coming to hear you...
381
00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:05,553
say something
st... stu...
382
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,517
They think I'm going to say
something stupid.
383
00:14:07,518 --> 00:14:09,532
But, see,
you're not stupid.
384
00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:11,507
You're really creative.
385
00:14:11,508 --> 00:14:12,583
Your brain exists in this
magical other dimension
386
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:14,532
where anything
is possible.
387
00:14:14,533 --> 00:14:16,503
It's really amazing.
388
00:14:16,504 --> 00:14:18,553
We just need to focus on
a little preparation.
389
00:14:18,554 --> 00:14:20,519
If I'm going to be
completely honest,
390
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:21,588
I'm a little worried
that my picking you
391
00:14:21,589 --> 00:14:24,532
as a running mate is going to
seem like a desperate grab
392
00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:26,523
for the straight vote
if you don't really look
393
00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:28,498
like a serious candidate,
you know?
394
00:14:28,499 --> 00:14:29,583
(imitates John Wayne):
What do you mean, pilgrim?
395
00:14:29,584 --> 00:14:31,517
- Was that John Wayne?
- Yeah. I panicked.
396
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,541
Okay, listen.
397
00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:34,499
When's your next
free period?
398
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,520
I need you to meet me
in the costume shop.
399
00:14:36,521 --> 00:14:38,582
Brittany S. Pierce,
how do you react
400
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:41,503
to the characterization of
your first term in office
401
00:14:41,504 --> 00:14:44,499
as one in which you didn't do
anything at all until prom?
402
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,549
I would describe that
as entirely accurate.
403
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:48,499
Okay.
404
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,521
Test scores at McKinley
have gone down
405
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,524
six percent every year
for the past decade.
406
00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:53,517
- What would you do to fix the problem?
- Stop giving tests.
407
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,588
They're hard, and there's
way too many of them.
408
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,524
What is your favorite color?
409
00:14:56,525 --> 00:14:57,582
Filipino.
410
00:14:57,583 --> 00:14:59,520
They're very hard workers,
411
00:14:59,521 --> 00:15:01,524
and family
is very important to them.
412
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,575
You know what?
Let's talk wardrobe.
413
00:15:02,576 --> 00:15:04,570
(Hole's "Celebrity Skin" begins)
414
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:08,520
♪ Oh, make me over ♪
415
00:15:08,521 --> 00:15:11,591
♪ I'm all I wanna be ♪
416
00:15:11,592 --> 00:15:14,549
♪ A walking study ♪
417
00:15:14,550 --> 00:15:17,532
♪ In demonology ♪
418
00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:20,541
♪ Hey, so glad
you could make it ♪
419
00:15:20,542 --> 00:15:24,524
♪ Yeah, now you really made it ♪
420
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:31,508
♪ Hey, so glad
you could make it now ♪
421
00:15:32,592 --> 00:15:36,516
♪ Oh look at my face ♪
422
00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:40,520
♪ My name is might have been ♪
423
00:15:40,521 --> 00:15:43,524
♪ My name is never was ♪
424
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:45,524
♪ My name's forgotten ♪
425
00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:48,591
♪ Hey, so glad
you could make it ♪
426
00:15:48,592 --> 00:15:52,524
♪ Yeah, now you really made it ♪
427
00:15:52,525 --> 00:15:54,507
♪ Hey ♪
428
00:15:54,508 --> 00:15:59,549
♪ There's only us left now ♪
429
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:03,503
♪ When I wake up in my makeup ♪
430
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,570
♪ Have you ever felt
so used up as this? ♪
431
00:16:06,571 --> 00:16:08,516
♪ It's all so sugarless ♪
432
00:16:08,517 --> 00:16:10,516
♪ Hooker, waitress ♪
433
00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:14,516
♪ Model, actress,
oh, just go nameless ♪
434
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:17,541
♪ Honeysuckle,
she's full of poison ♪
435
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:20,553
♪ She obliterated
everything she kissed ♪
436
00:16:20,554 --> 00:16:22,557
♪ Now she's fading ♪
437
00:16:22,558 --> 00:16:24,537
♪ Somewhere in Hollywood ♪
438
00:16:24,538 --> 00:16:29,549
♪ I'm glad I came here
with your pound of flesh ♪
439
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:32,570
♪ You want a part of me ♪
440
00:16:32,571 --> 00:16:34,592
♪ Well, I'm not selling cheap ♪
441
00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:39,557
♪ No, I'm not selling cheap. ♪
442
00:16:39,558 --> 00:16:41,570
(school bell ringing)
443
00:16:41,571 --> 00:16:43,570
Okay.
444
00:16:43,571 --> 00:16:45,532
First off, I'd just like to say
445
00:16:45,533 --> 00:16:47,532
what an honor it is
to have been asked to lead
446
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:49,525
the annual
Show Choir Committee meeting.
447
00:16:49,526 --> 00:16:51,542
- Which of these snacks are gluten free?
- I guess the carrots are.
448
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:52,573
Did it state so on the package?
449
00:16:52,574 --> 00:16:54,531
Because you do not want
to deal with me
450
00:16:54,532 --> 00:16:56,092
- if I've got gluten in my system.
- We really need
451
00:16:56,095 --> 00:16:57,583
- to get started, Mr. Rumba.
- What?
452
00:16:57,586 --> 00:16:59,554
- We really need to get started.
- Well, why didn't you say so?
453
00:16:59,557 --> 00:17:01,516
I did-- several times.
454
00:17:01,517 --> 00:17:02,565
Well, I didn't hear you.
455
00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:04,521
You know I have complete
loss of hearing
456
00:17:04,522 --> 00:17:06,521
- in my left ear-- scarlet fever.
- Uh, Birdie,
457
00:17:06,522 --> 00:17:07,538
You had mentioned you
wanted to discuss
458
00:17:07,539 --> 00:17:09,549
some of the redistricting
bylaws.
459
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:12,582
I've been doing some research,
and it turns out...
460
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,524
- in Article 12...
WILL: I'm so bored.
461
00:17:14,525 --> 00:17:15,588
What is wrong with me?
462
00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:17,524
This is what I've always wanted.
463
00:17:17,525 --> 00:17:18,590
I won Nationals.
464
00:17:18,591 --> 00:17:20,538
I'm... I'm in charge of this committee.
465
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,507
But it feels so meaningless.
466
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:23,571
Do all teachers feel this at some point?
467
00:17:23,572 --> 00:17:26,499
When Regionals occur
in a leap year...
468
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,558
Oh, this is pointless!
469
00:17:27,559 --> 00:17:29,499
I didn't know how
470
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:30,550
to tell you guys...
471
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:33,525
- but my glee club lost its funding.
- Oh, my God.
472
00:17:33,526 --> 00:17:35,519
We're done. We can't even
complete the season.
473
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,556
I know that everybody likes
to make fun of the deaf choir,
474
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,567
but my kids have a song
in their heart; they're not
475
00:17:39,568 --> 00:17:42,499
going to be able to sing it.
For some of them,
476
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,536
it's the only thing that brings
them any happiness.
477
00:17:43,537 --> 00:17:44,571
It's the only thing
that brings me
478
00:17:44,572 --> 00:17:46,587
any happiness
besides my extreme couponing
479
00:17:46,588 --> 00:17:48,566
and muscle relaxers.
480
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,499
I'm so sorry.
481
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,538
- Is there anything we can do?
- Yeah.
482
00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,549
You can watch your back,
because you're next.
483
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:55,524
We're all dead.
484
00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:57,524
The money for the
arts has dried up.
485
00:17:57,525 --> 00:17:59,507
What we need is representation
486
00:17:59,508 --> 00:18:01,524
on that blue-ribbon
government panel to get arts
487
00:18:01,525 --> 00:18:03,558
- back in the schools.
- There was a huge debate over that in Congress.
488
00:18:03,561 --> 00:18:05,582
Oh, they don't care about us.
489
00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:07,548
They don't want
to have anything to do
490
00:18:07,549 --> 00:18:09,525
with show choir directors;
They want bigwigs
491
00:18:09,526 --> 00:18:11,532
like Meryl Streep
or Demi Lovato.
492
00:18:11,533 --> 00:18:12,581
Maybe they'll take
a show choir director
493
00:18:12,582 --> 00:18:14,523
who just won Nationals
and wants to make
494
00:18:14,524 --> 00:18:15,558
a difference in this world.
495
00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:18,517
- Go for it.
- RUMBA: Highly unlikely.
496
00:18:18,518 --> 00:18:20,515
I'm going to have
a shame Triscuit.
497
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:21,575
I don't care
if I have to spend
498
00:18:21,576 --> 00:18:23,537
all night
on the potty.
499
00:18:23,538 --> 00:18:25,516
RACHEL:
Yeah, I swear it.
500
00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:27,498
It was like a deleted
scene from The Exorcist
501
00:18:27,499 --> 00:18:28,583
that was cut because it
was actually too scary.
502
00:18:28,584 --> 00:18:30,567
- Oh, chilling.
- And then I tried...
503
00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:32,574
I tried to be, like,
nice and, you know, smile,
504
00:18:32,575 --> 00:18:34,525
but then the black swans said to me...
505
00:18:34,526 --> 00:18:36,553
I didn't know Lena Dunham
was joining us today.
506
00:18:36,554 --> 00:18:39,532
I'm sorry, but did I do
something to offend you?
507
00:18:39,533 --> 00:18:40,536
Your outfit did.
508
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,515
It's at least
a decade away from even
509
00:18:42,516 --> 00:18:43,567
being considered
for ironic-retro.
510
00:18:43,568 --> 00:18:45,499
It's a tragedy
What Not to Wear
511
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:46,558
doesn't do
two-hour specials.
512
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,516
(girls giggling)
513
00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:50,506
You know, part of why
I was so excited
514
00:18:50,507 --> 00:18:51,523
to come to New York
was because
515
00:18:51,524 --> 00:18:52,588
I thought it
would be a chance
516
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,586
for me to start over,
reinvent myself.
517
00:18:54,587 --> 00:18:56,525
I had no idea that it
was going to be
518
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,507
so exactly the same.
519
00:18:58,508 --> 00:19:00,508
- You know why you feel exactly the same?
- Hmm?
520
00:19:00,509 --> 00:19:01,588
Because you're still
dressing exactly the same.
521
00:19:01,589 --> 00:19:04,532
We're not in Ohio
any more, Rachel.
522
00:19:04,533 --> 00:19:06,582
And even then,
it's not like we were on trend.
523
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:10,516
I hate to say this, but
life is like high school.
524
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,516
Styles and clothes determine
the pecking order.
525
00:19:12,517 --> 00:19:14,553
Well, I don't know
what you expect me to do.
526
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,540
It's not like I can afford
an entire new wardrobe.
527
00:19:16,541 --> 00:19:18,508
Who says you'll have
to pay for it?
528
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:22,033
Put down your chopsticks
and follow me.
529
00:19:22,034 --> 00:19:23,507
I got an idea.
530
00:19:23,508 --> 00:19:24,517
It's almost midnight.
531
00:19:24,518 --> 00:19:26,507
What are you
talking about?
532
00:19:27,008 --> 00:19:29,066
I'm about to change your life.
533
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,083
And maybe mine, too.
534
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,524
Oh, my God, this is crazy.
535
00:19:37,525 --> 00:19:38,567
- Take a picture of me.
- Come on, quick, quick, quick.
536
00:19:39,568 --> 00:19:40,592
Check this out.
537
00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:42,582
This is unbelievable.
538
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:45,517
Wait, I'm scared.
Don't leave me.
539
00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:52,938
RACHEL:
Oh, my God.
540
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:55,587
I can't even breathe.
541
00:19:55,588 --> 00:19:57,549
They call this
the Couture Vault.
542
00:19:57,550 --> 00:19:59,587
It supposedly
can withstand a nuclear blast.
543
00:19:59,588 --> 00:20:01,570
Okay, I'll set up
the camera.
544
00:20:01,571 --> 00:20:04,499
ISABELLE:
Freeze!
545
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,558
- Kurt.
- Oh, uh... I thought you were going to be
546
00:20:06,559 --> 00:20:08,552
At dinner with Steve Buscemi
and Yoko Ono.
547
00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:09,565
Well, they canceled again.
548
00:20:09,566 --> 00:20:11,556
What are you doing here?
And who is that?
549
00:20:11,557 --> 00:20:13,498
I'm Rachel Berry--
I'm Kurt's roommate. He...
550
00:20:13,499 --> 00:20:14,550
We were going to do
a music video for the Web site.
551
00:20:14,551 --> 00:20:16,508
- He adores you.
- Rachel was going to get a makeover,
552
00:20:16,511 --> 00:20:18,566
And she was going to model
some clothes.
553
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,516
Stop, stop.
Stop, stop, stop.
554
00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:21,567
You had me at "makeover."
555
00:20:23,554 --> 00:20:25,571
("The Way You Look Tonight"
begins)
556
00:20:29,554 --> 00:20:32,507
♪ Someday ♪
557
00:20:32,508 --> 00:20:34,588
♪ When I'm awfully low ♪
558
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:39,516
♪ When the world is cold ♪
559
00:20:39,517 --> 00:20:42,516
♪ I will feel a glow ♪
560
00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:44,570
♪ Just thinking of you ♪
561
00:20:44,571 --> 00:20:50,566
♪ But you're never fully dressed
without a smile ♪
562
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:55,566
♪ Oh, it's lovely ♪
563
00:20:55,567 --> 00:20:59,532
♪ With your smile so warm ♪
564
00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:02,582
♪ And your cheeks so soft ♪
565
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:05,549
♪ There is nothing for me ♪
566
00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:08,574
♪ But to love you ♪
567
00:21:08,575 --> 00:21:15,499
♪ But you're never fully dressed
without a smile ♪
568
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:18,549
♪ Who cares
what they're wearing ♪
569
00:21:18,550 --> 00:21:22,537
♪ From Main Street
to Saville Row? ♪
570
00:21:22,538 --> 00:21:25,541
♪ It's what you wear
from ear to ear ♪
571
00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:29,537
♪ And not from head to toe ♪
572
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,557
♪ Lover ♪
573
00:21:31,558 --> 00:21:35,541
♪ Never, never change ♪
574
00:21:35,542 --> 00:21:39,553
♪ Keep that breathless charm ♪
575
00:21:39,554 --> 00:21:42,541
♪ Won't you please arrange it? ♪
576
00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:44,549
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
577
00:21:44,550 --> 00:21:48,541
♪ Remember,
you're never fully dressed ♪
578
00:21:48,542 --> 00:21:50,550
♪ Without a smile ♪
579
00:21:52,575 --> 00:21:54,537
♪ Ba da-da, ba da-da ♪
580
00:21:54,538 --> 00:21:56,524
♪ Ba da-da,
ba da-da ♪
581
00:21:56,525 --> 00:21:57,571
♪ Ba da-da-da ♪
582
00:21:57,572 --> 00:21:59,503
♪ Bum-bum-bye ♪
583
00:21:59,504 --> 00:22:01,570
♪ You're never fully dressed ♪
584
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:05,533
♪ Without a smile ♪
585
00:22:11,583 --> 00:22:16,499
♪ Lover... ♪
586
00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:19,520
♪ Never, never change ♪
587
00:22:19,521 --> 00:22:22,524
♪ Keep that breathless charm ♪
588
00:22:22,525 --> 00:22:25,549
♪ Won't you please arrange it ♪
589
00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:29,503
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
590
00:22:29,504 --> 00:22:31,582
♪ But you're never
fully dressed ♪
591
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:34,541
♪ Without a... ♪
592
00:22:34,542 --> 00:22:36,503
♪ Smile ♪
593
00:22:36,504 --> 00:22:37,557
♪ Smile... ♪
594
00:22:37,558 --> 00:22:39,549
♪ Smile ♪
595
00:22:39,550 --> 00:22:40,592
♪ Just the... ♪
596
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:42,583
♪ Way you look tonight. ♪
597
00:22:44,567 --> 00:22:48,521
- KURT: And that was just the rough cut.
- No, it's genius.
598
00:22:48,522 --> 00:22:49,583
And Rachel looks so gorgeous,
599
00:22:49,584 --> 00:22:52,566
the whole looks so...
like, professional,
600
00:22:52,567 --> 00:22:55,524
like a real fashion video that
you'd seen on TV or something.
601
00:22:55,525 --> 00:22:56,588
So what's the next step?
602
00:22:56,589 --> 00:22:58,582
KURT:
Well, uh, ideally
603
00:22:58,583 --> 00:23:00,571
the dream would be that
Isabelle would see it,
604
00:23:00,572 --> 00:23:03,499
and love it, and then
put it on Vogue.com.
605
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,569
But I mean, she's already committed
to so many other concepts that...
606
00:23:05,570 --> 00:23:07,548
No, Kurt, of course she's going to
choose yours. She's gonna pick yours.
607
00:23:07,549 --> 00:23:09,533
KURT: And then, after
we made over Rachel,
608
00:23:09,534 --> 00:23:12,499
Isabelle took us to this place
called Gray's Papaya
609
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:13,592
and we had guava juice
and hot dogs.
610
00:23:13,593 --> 00:23:15,554
- BLAINE: Wow.
- It was amazing.
611
00:23:15,557 --> 00:23:18,549
You're hanging out with fashion
goddess Isabelle Wright.
612
00:23:18,550 --> 00:23:19,583
And I'm running for
Student Body President
613
00:23:19,584 --> 00:23:21,549
with a former stripper.
614
00:23:21,550 --> 00:23:23,531
Oh my gosh, I forgot about that!
How's it going?
615
00:23:23,532 --> 00:23:24,588
It's going okay.
616
00:23:24,589 --> 00:23:26,591
But, um, I did want to
ask you what bow tie
617
00:23:26,592 --> 00:23:28,569
you thought I should wear
for tomorrow's debate.
618
00:23:28,570 --> 00:23:30,571
I have narrowed it down to five,
but mainly I have...
619
00:23:30,572 --> 00:23:32,532
Bow ties are your signature,
620
00:23:32,533 --> 00:23:33,588
whatever you choose is
gonna look great on you.
621
00:23:33,589 --> 00:23:35,533
- RACHEL: Hi, Blaine, we miss you!
- Oh, Rachel says hi.
622
00:23:35,534 --> 00:23:36,565
Oh, hi, Rachel.
623
00:23:36,566 --> 00:23:38,515
By the way, one more question
about the video.
624
00:23:38,516 --> 00:23:40,548
That scene where she plays
the East Village It Girl--
625
00:23:40,549 --> 00:23:41,588
did you think that was too much?
626
00:23:41,589 --> 00:23:43,587
No, it's... I don't know.
627
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,554
Oh, good, good, good. 'Cause I
didn't either, but she was
628
00:23:45,555 --> 00:23:47,537
a little skeptical.
629
00:23:47,538 --> 00:23:48,554
But I said she was very
Chloe Sevigny chic, right?
630
00:23:48,555 --> 00:23:50,521
- Yeah? Good.
- Yeah. Yeah.
631
00:23:50,522 --> 00:23:52,558
And then, oh my God, I found
this sweater in the vault
632
00:23:52,559 --> 00:23:55,500
that was to die for!
633
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:01,533
- (school bell ringing)
- Hi.
634
00:24:01,536 --> 00:24:03,574
Hi.
635
00:24:03,575 --> 00:24:05,558
I know I don't have an
appointment, but, uh...
636
00:24:05,559 --> 00:24:08,507
I really needed to speak to
my guidance counselor,
637
00:24:08,508 --> 00:24:10,532
and not my fiancée.
638
00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:12,587
Well, please have
a seat, Mr. Schuester.
639
00:24:12,588 --> 00:24:14,532
Mr. Schuester.
(laughs)
640
00:24:14,533 --> 00:24:16,520
As you know,
641
00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:18,532
all I've ever wanted
was to make a difference.
642
00:24:18,533 --> 00:24:21,537
Change people's lives.
Make them better.
643
00:24:21,538 --> 00:24:22,575
I'd like to think that
I've done that in my time here.
644
00:24:22,576 --> 00:24:25,517
- Mm-hmm.
- Winning Nationals,
645
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,549
Seeing most of
the kids graduate.
646
00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:30,588
- Right, you have a lot to be proud of here.
- (Sighs)
647
00:24:30,591 --> 00:24:33,587
But now I have this once in a
lifetime opportunity in front of me.
648
00:24:33,588 --> 00:24:36,592
- A chance to make a difference
on a whole new level. - Okay.
649
00:24:36,595 --> 00:24:39,566
So they're... they're assembling
a blue-ribbon panel
650
00:24:39,567 --> 00:24:41,533
to improve arts education
around the country.
651
00:24:41,534 --> 00:24:43,532
I filled out the application,
652
00:24:43,533 --> 00:24:45,549
but I haven't sent it in yet.
653
00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:46,592
This looks amazing.
654
00:24:46,593 --> 00:24:48,566
If I were to get this...
655
00:24:48,567 --> 00:24:51,516
I would have to leave
McKinley for several months.
656
00:24:51,517 --> 00:24:52,571
Paid for by the District,
657
00:24:52,572 --> 00:24:56,570
but I'd be away from the kids.
658
00:24:56,571 --> 00:25:00,499
Oh. Um... Okay.
659
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,537
I... You know we've been telling
these kids for years
660
00:25:03,538 --> 00:25:05,574
to follow their dreams
no matter what, so...
661
00:25:05,575 --> 00:25:07,532
Yeah.
662
00:25:07,533 --> 00:25:10,532
I'm not going to tell you
to do the opposite.
663
00:25:10,533 --> 00:25:13,582
I just don't want to do
anything to jeopardize...
664
00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:16,566
this-this new life
we're about to begin together.
665
00:25:16,567 --> 00:25:19,499
It's not gonna
change a thing.
666
00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:21,553
Okay? Weddings can wait.
667
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:24,582
You have to apply
for this position.
668
00:25:24,583 --> 00:25:26,575
And if you get it,
we will cross that bridge
669
00:25:26,576 --> 00:25:28,516
when we come to it.
670
00:25:28,517 --> 00:25:29,550
Together.
671
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:39,550
(patriotic music plays)
672
00:25:39,551 --> 00:25:41,549
(scattered whistles, cheers)
673
00:25:41,550 --> 00:25:44,541
Attention, miniscule segment
of the student body.
674
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:45,567
Principal Figgins
is out this week,
675
00:25:45,568 --> 00:25:48,537
with what he describes as
religious fever.
676
00:25:48,538 --> 00:25:50,573
SUE (distant): And I am forced
to moderate these proceedings.
677
00:25:50,574 --> 00:25:52,523
Hey, dude, uh,
now that you made me over,
678
00:25:52,524 --> 00:25:53,588
- can I give you some advice?
- Yeah, sure.
679
00:25:53,591 --> 00:25:55,575
- Lose the bow tie.
- What?
680
00:25:55,576 --> 00:25:57,531
Yeah, trust me,
it makes you look uptight
681
00:25:57,532 --> 00:25:58,588
and a little like a young
Orville Redenbacher.
682
00:25:58,589 --> 00:26:00,553
Just... take it off.
683
00:26:00,554 --> 00:26:02,532
Okay.
684
00:26:02,533 --> 00:26:03,553
You know what?
685
00:26:03,554 --> 00:26:05,587
Actually, it's...
you're actually right.
686
00:26:05,588 --> 00:26:08,550
- Thank you.
- SUE: There are two new utterly disheartening
687
00:26:08,553 --> 00:26:11,549
wrinkles to this year's
absolutely pointless contest.
688
00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:14,532
First, the horrifying fact that
this year's slate of candidates
689
00:26:14,533 --> 00:26:17,549
consists entirely
of Glee Club members.
690
00:26:17,550 --> 00:26:20,537
And secondly,
the inexplicable introduction
691
00:26:20,538 --> 00:26:21,552
of a vice presidential field
692
00:26:21,553 --> 00:26:23,540
for no discernable
reason whatsoever.
693
00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:24,592
Separation of powers!
694
00:26:24,593 --> 00:26:26,570
Whoo!
695
00:26:26,571 --> 00:26:28,591
So let's meet these
second-tiered losers.
696
00:26:28,592 --> 00:26:30,575
You know them as
the pimp and the gimp.
697
00:26:30,576 --> 00:26:33,549
Artie Abrams and Sam Evans.
698
00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:35,517
(scattered applause)
699
00:26:42,575 --> 00:26:45,549
SUE: Stumbles, my first
question is for you.
700
00:26:45,550 --> 00:26:47,548
Who, in God's name,
gives a hot, wet, steamy dump
701
00:26:47,549 --> 00:26:48,583
about student government?
702
00:26:48,584 --> 00:26:50,550
- (mic feedback screeches)
- I do.
703
00:26:50,551 --> 00:26:52,525
And I think everyone
in this room should, too.
704
00:26:52,526 --> 00:26:55,582
First of all, student government
isn't just a way for us to pad
705
00:26:55,583 --> 00:26:58,503
our college résumés.
It's a way for us
706
00:26:58,504 --> 00:26:59,554
to take an active role
in our own education.
707
00:26:59,555 --> 00:27:01,516
Study after study shows
708
00:27:01,517 --> 00:27:02,533
that an active student body
709
00:27:02,534 --> 00:27:04,516
is a successful student body.
710
00:27:04,517 --> 00:27:05,540
Okay, moving on.
711
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,498
Student government
is just the beginning.
712
00:27:07,499 --> 00:27:08,531
We need more
after-school programs,
713
00:27:08,532 --> 00:27:09,565
and better-qualified staff
to support
714
00:27:09,566 --> 00:27:11,533
our teachers, who are
overworked and underpaid.
715
00:27:11,534 --> 00:27:13,533
- Oh, dear God.
- And that's just the beginning.
716
00:27:13,536 --> 00:27:16,541
I want to talk about the
cafeteria, 'cause I believe...
717
00:27:16,542 --> 00:27:19,532
...at the beginning of every
year to see if...
718
00:27:19,533 --> 00:27:20,573
...enough to support
our brain activity...
719
00:27:20,574 --> 00:27:22,552
That's one of the many goals
I promise to reach
720
00:27:22,553 --> 00:27:24,538
by the midway point
of my first term,
721
00:27:24,539 --> 00:27:26,503
as outlined in my 96-point
722
00:27:26,504 --> 00:27:27,583
Pierce-Abrams Road map
To Restore McKinley's Future.
723
00:27:27,584 --> 00:27:30,516
Merciful sweet Jesus,
thank you.
724
00:27:30,517 --> 00:27:32,549
Sam Evans, your response?
725
00:27:32,550 --> 00:27:34,537
I wasn't really listening.
726
00:27:34,538 --> 00:27:36,537
Whatever Artie said,
I agree with that.
727
00:27:36,538 --> 00:27:38,582
SUE: Our next question
is from the Twitter.
728
00:27:38,583 --> 00:27:42,537
@HungrySouthMouth
asks Sam Evans,
729
00:27:42,538 --> 00:27:44,533
"Rumor has it you were a
stripper. Aren't you ashamed?"
730
00:27:44,534 --> 00:27:46,533
(sighs)
731
00:27:47,567 --> 00:27:49,533
No, I'm not.
732
00:27:51,517 --> 00:27:52,550
(electronic beat begins)
733
00:27:52,551 --> 00:27:54,504
In fact...
734
00:27:56,583 --> 00:27:58,542
- GIRL: Whoo...
- ♪ Shake that ♪
735
00:27:58,543 --> 00:27:59,592
(audience whooping)
736
00:28:01,550 --> 00:28:02,550
(whooping)
737
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:08,550
Students at this school
have every right to be angry.
738
00:28:08,551 --> 00:28:11,520
Last year's student council,
led by my opponent,
739
00:28:11,521 --> 00:28:13,524
was the most ineffectual
in a generation.
740
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,521
Brittany S. Pierce,
in her last term,
741
00:28:15,522 --> 00:28:17,520
accomplished absolutely nothing,
742
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:18,583
except plan
a dinosaur-themed prom
743
00:28:18,584 --> 00:28:20,582
and ban the use
744
00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:22,508
- of hair gel.
- (Audience member whoops)
745
00:28:22,509 --> 00:28:23,592
Ladies and gentlemen,
746
00:28:23,593 --> 00:28:26,557
telling anyone what
they can or cannot
747
00:28:26,558 --> 00:28:29,549
put into their hair
is disgusting.
748
00:28:29,550 --> 00:28:32,524
It's the first step
towards tyranny, my friends.
749
00:28:32,525 --> 00:28:34,567
Next thing you know,
they'll start burning books.
750
00:28:34,568 --> 00:28:37,557
And then they'll probably
start burning people, too.
751
00:28:37,558 --> 00:28:39,587
That's a lie.
752
00:28:39,588 --> 00:28:41,567
This tyranny all
ends today, McKinley.
753
00:28:41,568 --> 00:28:44,520
I want to offer you a change.
754
00:28:44,521 --> 00:28:45,583
And I am that change.
755
00:28:45,584 --> 00:28:48,499
Let's make history, Titans.
756
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,520
And vote Anderson-Evans.
757
00:28:50,521 --> 00:28:51,533
Thank you.
758
00:28:53,533 --> 00:28:55,499
Sweet, simple Brittany.
759
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,541
What say you?
760
00:28:56,542 --> 00:28:59,533
Uh...
761
00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:02,554
I love you.
762
00:29:04,517 --> 00:29:07,532
I love you so much,
McKinley High School.
763
00:29:07,533 --> 00:29:09,567
Simple as that.
In fact...
764
00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:13,533
I think that everyone
765
00:29:13,534 --> 00:29:16,532
should love this school
as much as I do.
766
00:29:16,533 --> 00:29:18,549
If you elect me as president,
767
00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:20,533
I promise to outlaw
summer vacation,
768
00:29:20,534 --> 00:29:23,532
so we'll have school
all year round.
769
00:29:23,533 --> 00:29:25,507
That means we'll spend every day
770
00:29:25,508 --> 00:29:29,516
of every summer indoors
with all our friends,
771
00:29:29,517 --> 00:29:31,571
in McKinley High School's
award-winning air conditioning.
772
00:29:31,572 --> 00:29:34,541
Also, I promise to end
773
00:29:34,542 --> 00:29:36,588
McKinley High School's
policy of having weekends.
774
00:29:36,589 --> 00:29:39,532
If you make me your president,
775
00:29:39,533 --> 00:29:41,508
Saturday and Sunday
will be illegal,
776
00:29:41,509 --> 00:29:43,549
so that Monday will
come right after Friday,
777
00:29:43,550 --> 00:29:45,532
which is the funnest day
anyways.
778
00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:47,571
Vote Brittany and Artie.
Thank you so much.
779
00:29:50,583 --> 00:29:52,533
- (applauding)
- We just lost the election.
780
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:57,583
Kurt, can I see you
for a minute?
781
00:29:59,567 --> 00:30:01,571
You might want to
sit down for this.
782
00:30:04,567 --> 00:30:06,566
I saw your video,
783
00:30:06,567 --> 00:30:08,557
and I forwarded it to Anna.
784
00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:11,550
Am I fired?
785
00:30:16,571 --> 00:30:18,574
ISABELLE:
That is the first time
786
00:30:18,575 --> 00:30:20,498
that I've heard
"great" from Anna.
787
00:30:20,499 --> 00:30:21,554
I am gonna print that
and frame it.
788
00:30:21,555 --> 00:30:23,516
Does... does this mean
789
00:30:23,517 --> 00:30:25,533
- they're gonna put the video on the Web site?
- Sort of.
790
00:30:25,534 --> 00:30:27,506
We're gonna reshoot
the whole thing
791
00:30:27,507 --> 00:30:28,575
in Bali with Karolína Kurková,
but you're getting credit
792
00:30:28,576 --> 00:30:30,550
- for the idea.
- Oh, my...
793
00:30:30,553 --> 00:30:33,499
Oh, thank you,
thank you so much.
794
00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:35,525
- Thank you. - And thank you so much
for helping out with Rachel.
795
00:30:35,526 --> 00:30:36,552
She went home that night
796
00:30:36,553 --> 00:30:37,554
and threw away
her reindeer sweater,
797
00:30:37,555 --> 00:30:39,557
which is a huge deal for her.
798
00:30:39,558 --> 00:30:41,571
Ah, she already seems so much
more confident, you know?
799
00:30:41,572 --> 00:30:43,587
It's so funny how
800
00:30:43,588 --> 00:30:45,583
a new image can
change everything.
801
00:30:46,084 --> 00:30:47,087
Oh...
802
00:30:47,088 --> 00:30:50,032
I sure hope you
never lose that.
803
00:30:50,033 --> 00:30:51,087
What?
804
00:30:51,088 --> 00:30:53,049
Oh, just your...
805
00:30:53,050 --> 00:30:57,024
unbridled, wide-eyed,
Lima, Ohio optimism.
806
00:30:57,025 --> 00:30:59,088
You know, I had an instinct
about you, Kurt Hummel,
807
00:30:59,089 --> 00:31:02,049
and so far,
it's proven to be correct.
808
00:31:02,050 --> 00:31:04,088
I feel like we're real
kindred spirits, don't you?
809
00:31:04,089 --> 00:31:05,999
I agree.
810
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,049
Can I please just say that
811
00:31:08,050 --> 00:31:10,074
I think you're the best-dressed
fairy godmother
812
00:31:10,075 --> 00:31:13,053
an intern like me
could ever have?
813
00:31:13,054 --> 00:31:15,015
Well, then, can your
fairy godmother
814
00:31:15,016 --> 00:31:16,075
give you a little
bit of advice?
815
00:31:16,076 --> 00:31:19,082
You have quite the
aptitude for fashion.
816
00:31:19,083 --> 00:31:22,032
And I know it's your
dream to go to NYADA,
817
00:31:22,033 --> 00:31:24,016
but sometimes
dreams can change,
818
00:31:24,017 --> 00:31:26,057
and I really would not
be surprised if someday,
819
00:31:26,058 --> 00:31:28,003
every A-lister in this town
820
00:31:28,004 --> 00:31:30,000
was fighting for
one of your designs.
821
00:31:31,038 --> 00:31:33,021
So which "leather" pitch
are we running with?
822
00:31:33,022 --> 00:31:34,999
Oh, actually,
you know what?
823
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,065
We're gonna toss the whole thing
and start from scratch.
824
00:31:37,066 --> 00:31:39,000
We're gonna meet
here in two hours.
825
00:31:39,001 --> 00:31:42,053
Oh, and, um...
Kurt will be joining us.
826
00:31:42,054 --> 00:31:44,088
I'm famished.
Let's go to Indochine.
827
00:31:50,054 --> 00:31:52,074
Wow.
828
00:31:52,075 --> 00:31:53,082
Hm.
829
00:31:53,083 --> 00:31:56,999
You look incredible.
830
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,016
They say that you haven't
settled into New York City
831
00:32:00,017 --> 00:32:02,082
until you've had
your first makeover.
832
00:32:02,083 --> 00:32:04,032
Mine took six months.
833
00:32:04,033 --> 00:32:06,017
Oh, really?
Like you need a makeover?
834
00:32:06,018 --> 00:32:08,032
Every girl in school
wants to date you.
835
00:32:08,033 --> 00:32:10,083
- True.
- (Giggles)
836
00:32:10,086 --> 00:32:12,066
But four years ago,
837
00:32:12,067 --> 00:32:14,082
I was a scrawny kid
from backwater Montana,
838
00:32:14,083 --> 00:32:17,024
with a bad haircut
and a unibrow.
839
00:32:17,025 --> 00:32:18,086
And seniors took me
under their wing,
840
00:32:18,087 --> 00:32:20,071
introduced me to waxes
and the gym,
841
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:22,067
- and they changed my life.
- Yeah.
842
00:32:22,068 --> 00:32:24,067
It's pretty amazing what
a good makeover can do.
843
00:32:24,068 --> 00:32:26,066
It's like you
change the outside,
844
00:32:26,067 --> 00:32:29,016
and then the inside
just... follows.
845
00:32:29,017 --> 00:32:31,070
I think it's
the other way around.
846
00:32:31,071 --> 00:32:34,082
I think now your outside
847
00:32:34,083 --> 00:32:36,050
has caught up to how
you feel about yourself.
848
00:32:36,051 --> 00:32:38,082
Hmm.
849
00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:40,066
I like that.
850
00:32:40,067 --> 00:32:43,033
I like you.
851
00:32:48,050 --> 00:32:49,083
So what are you
working on?
852
00:32:49,084 --> 00:32:51,032
Just a new number.
853
00:32:51,033 --> 00:32:52,071
I like to do
something every day,
854
00:32:52,072 --> 00:32:54,071
just to keep
my machine well-oiled.
855
00:32:54,072 --> 00:32:57,066
Oh, me too.
856
00:32:57,067 --> 00:32:59,083
I love that song.
857
00:33:00,092 --> 00:33:02,999
Do you, uh...
858
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,020
want to sing it with me?
859
00:33:05,021 --> 00:33:07,083
(Sheryl Crow's "A Change
Would Do You Good" begins)
860
00:33:17,083 --> 00:33:20,999
♪ Ten years living in
a paper bag ♪
861
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,007
♪ Feedback baby,
he's a flipped-out cat ♪
862
00:33:24,008 --> 00:33:26,088
♪ He's a platinum canary
drinkin' Falstaff beer ♪
863
00:33:26,089 --> 00:33:30,057
♪ Mercedes rule
and a rented Lear ♪
864
00:33:30,058 --> 00:33:33,049
♪ Bottom feeder, insincere ♪
865
00:33:33,050 --> 00:33:36,074
♪ High-fed, low-fat pioneer ♪
866
00:33:36,075 --> 00:33:39,066
♪ Sell the house
and go to school ♪
867
00:33:39,067 --> 00:33:42,049
♪ Pretty young girlfriend,
daddy's jewel ♪
868
00:33:42,050 --> 00:33:43,049
♪ A change ♪
869
00:33:43,050 --> 00:33:44,999
♪ A change would
do you good ♪
870
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,092
♪ Would do you good ♪
871
00:33:46,093 --> 00:33:48,037
♪ A change
would do you good ♪
872
00:33:48,038 --> 00:33:49,065
♪ I think a change ♪
873
00:33:49,066 --> 00:33:50,083
♪ A change
would do you good ♪
874
00:33:50,084 --> 00:33:52,074
♪ Would do you good ♪
875
00:33:52,075 --> 00:33:55,070
♪ A change would do you good ♪
876
00:33:55,071 --> 00:33:58,070
BOTH:
♪ Good, good, good it'll do-do ♪
877
00:33:58,071 --> 00:34:02,020
♪ Good, good, good
it'll do-do-do ♪
878
00:34:02,021 --> 00:34:06,007
♪ Whoa... whoa-whoa ♪
879
00:34:06,008 --> 00:34:07,999
♪ Whoo! ♪
880
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,070
♪ Whoa... ♪
881
00:34:09,071 --> 00:34:12,999
♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
882
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,083
♪ I think a change ♪
883
00:34:14,084 --> 00:34:16,082
♪ A change would do you good ♪
884
00:34:16,083 --> 00:34:18,041
♪ Would do you good ♪
885
00:34:18,042 --> 00:34:20,037
♪ A change would do you good ♪
886
00:34:20,038 --> 00:34:21,058
♪ I think a change ♪
887
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,016
♪ A change
would do you good ♪
888
00:34:23,017 --> 00:34:24,058
♪ Would do you good ♪
889
00:34:24,059 --> 00:34:27,003
♪ A change would do
you good ♪
890
00:34:27,004 --> 00:34:30,049
♪ Chasing dragons
with plastic swords ♪
891
00:34:30,050 --> 00:34:33,074
♪ Jack off Jimmy,
everybody wants more ♪
892
00:34:33,075 --> 00:34:36,999
♪ Scully and Angel on
the kitchen floor ♪
893
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,999
♪ And I'm calling Buddy on
the Ouija board ♪
894
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,087
♪ I've been thinking 'bout
catching a train ♪
895
00:34:42,088 --> 00:34:45,999
♪ Leave my phone machine
by the radar range ♪
896
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:49,020
♪ Hello, it's me,
I'm not at home ♪
897
00:34:49,021 --> 00:34:52,037
♪ If you'd like to reach me,
leave me alone ♪
898
00:34:52,038 --> 00:34:53,069
♪ I think a change ♪
899
00:34:53,070 --> 00:34:54,075
♪ A change would
do you good ♪
900
00:34:54,076 --> 00:34:55,999
♪ Would do you good ♪
901
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,049
♪ A change
would do you good ♪
902
00:34:58,050 --> 00:35:01,057
♪ Hello, it's me,
I'm not at home ♪
903
00:35:01,058 --> 00:35:04,049
BOTH: ♪ If you'd like to
reach me, leave me alone ♪
904
00:35:04,050 --> 00:35:05,065
♪ I think a change ♪
905
00:35:05,066 --> 00:35:06,067
♪ A change
would do you good ♪
906
00:35:06,068 --> 00:35:08,032
♪ Would do you good ♪
907
00:35:08,033 --> 00:35:10,016
♪ A change would
do you good ♪
908
00:35:10,017 --> 00:35:11,058
♪ I-I think a change ♪
909
00:35:11,059 --> 00:35:13,087
♪ A change would
do you good ♪
910
00:35:13,088 --> 00:35:14,088
♪ Would do you good ♪
911
00:35:14,089 --> 00:35:17,032
♪ A change would
do you good ♪
912
00:35:17,033 --> 00:35:20,003
BOTH:
♪ Would do you good! ♪
913
00:35:20,004 --> 00:35:21,088
(both panting)
914
00:35:22,075 --> 00:35:24,075
That was amazing.
915
00:35:27,067 --> 00:35:30,082
You're amazing.
916
00:35:31,083 --> 00:35:33,082
What are you doing
tomorrow tonight?
917
00:35:35,083 --> 00:35:36,554
I want to cook you dinner.
918
00:35:43,025 --> 00:35:45,049
Attention, students:
919
00:35:45,050 --> 00:35:49,070
Your record-low election votes
have been tallied,
920
00:35:49,071 --> 00:35:51,024
and we have a winner.
921
00:35:51,025 --> 00:35:53,088
Becky, can I get
a xylophone flourish?
922
00:35:58,008 --> 00:36:01,024
No? Not feeling it?
923
00:36:01,025 --> 00:36:03,037
Okay.
924
00:36:03,538 --> 00:36:08,021
This year's Student Council
President is...
925
00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:12,075
(all cheering,
shouting happily)
926
00:36:18,075 --> 00:36:19,071
How do you do?
927
00:36:19,072 --> 00:36:20,088
How you doing?
928
00:36:22,050 --> 00:36:24,050
- Congratulations, Mr. President.
- Thank you, Artie.
929
00:36:24,051 --> 00:36:26,048
Losing the bow tie, that was
your game changer-- kudos.
930
00:36:26,049 --> 00:36:27,081
No hard feelings.
931
00:36:27,082 --> 00:36:29,033
Maybe I can find a place
for you in my administration.
932
00:36:29,034 --> 00:36:31,082
No, thanks;
I got what I needed.
933
00:36:31,083 --> 00:36:33,037
Sugar asked me
out on a date.
934
00:36:33,038 --> 00:36:35,007
She invited me horseback riding.
935
00:36:35,008 --> 00:36:37,499
I'm just hoping it doesn't
involve being towed.
936
00:36:37,500 --> 00:36:39,538
- You talk to Kurt?
- Uh, yeah, yeah.
937
00:36:39,541 --> 00:36:42,566
He was super proud of me
and he's really excited.
938
00:36:42,567 --> 00:36:45,499
He's already planning
a whole inaugural ball.
939
00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:47,516
Well, congratulations.
940
00:36:47,517 --> 00:36:49,000
Thanks.
941
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,086
You know,
I have not stepped foot inside
942
00:36:52,087 --> 00:36:54,071
a Manhattan movie theater
since the bedbug scare.
943
00:36:54,072 --> 00:36:57,004
- (phone buzzing)
- And this is a fact:
944
00:36:57,007 --> 00:36:59,016
They prefer to lay
their eggs in couture.
945
00:36:59,017 --> 00:37:00,037
(all chuckle)
946
00:37:00,038 --> 00:37:01,092
That's true.
Who wouldn't?
947
00:37:01,093 --> 00:37:03,024
(all laugh)
948
00:37:03,025 --> 00:37:04,999
I'm not lying.
949
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,503
RACHEL: What's the
last movie you saw?
950
00:37:06,504 --> 00:37:07,583
The last...
Ooh, you know what?
951
00:37:07,584 --> 00:37:10,524
The last movie I saw was
a double feature.
952
00:37:10,525 --> 00:37:12,507
It was, um, Unmarried Woman
953
00:37:12,508 --> 00:37:14,507
and The Red Balloon.
954
00:37:14,508 --> 00:37:15,531
You weren't bored.
955
00:37:15,532 --> 00:37:16,588
No, no,
I wasn't even...
956
00:37:16,589 --> 00:37:18,508
That's okay.
957
00:37:19,533 --> 00:37:21,499
There's the man
of the hour.
958
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:24,507
You all right?
959
00:37:24,508 --> 00:37:26,557
You know, it didn't hit me
until right now:
960
00:37:26,558 --> 00:37:29,516
I came to McKinley
for Kurt-- that's it.
961
00:37:30,517 --> 00:37:33,591
And now he's gone, and even
with Glee Club, it just...
962
00:37:34,092 --> 00:37:37,082
I feel really,
really... alone.
963
00:37:37,083 --> 00:37:39,033
You're kind of killing
my party buzz, bro.
964
00:37:39,034 --> 00:37:41,032
I'm sorry,
it's just that
965
00:37:41,033 --> 00:37:43,016
I did all of this for him,
I did all of this for him.
966
00:37:43,017 --> 00:37:44,050
And now he's not here.
967
00:37:44,051 --> 00:37:47,016
And so it just kind of feels
like none of it matters.
968
00:37:47,017 --> 00:37:48,071
Of course it matters.
969
00:37:48,072 --> 00:37:51,037
You're McKinley's
"First Gay Guy President."
970
00:37:51,038 --> 00:37:52,065
Nobody cares about that.
971
00:37:52,066 --> 00:37:54,088
Look, before you, Kurt was
the first gay kid I met.
972
00:37:54,089 --> 00:37:56,037
Don't get me wrong,
he's great,
973
00:37:56,038 --> 00:37:58,017
but I just don't really
get his Bravo jokes
974
00:37:58,018 --> 00:38:01,049
or the fashion thing
or Broadway.
975
00:38:01,050 --> 00:38:03,004
You and me, it's different,
you know?
976
00:38:03,005 --> 00:38:06,016
I never had a gaybro before.
We'd be like
977
00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:07,054
Wolverine and Cyclops,
you know,
978
00:38:07,055 --> 00:38:10,032
show people how we're
cool with each other.
979
00:38:10,033 --> 00:38:12,050
And you know, if you ask me,
that's what matters.
980
00:38:12,051 --> 00:38:14,016
Thanks, man.
981
00:38:14,017 --> 00:38:15,053
You're right.
982
00:38:15,054 --> 00:38:19,032
But just so we're clear...
983
00:38:19,033 --> 00:38:20,033
BOTH:
I'm Wolverine.
984
00:38:20,034 --> 00:38:21,053
I'm...
985
00:38:21,054 --> 00:38:22,524
I said it first.
986
00:38:22,525 --> 00:38:24,083
Congratulations,
Blaine Warbler.
987
00:38:24,084 --> 00:38:25,999
Thank you, Brit.
988
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,566
Cool.
989
00:38:27,567 --> 00:38:31,549
Congratulations to you,
Mr. Vice President.
990
00:38:31,550 --> 00:38:33,499
The people have spoken.
991
00:38:33,500 --> 00:38:35,499
Can I let you in on
a little secret?
992
00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:36,550
I like secrets.
993
00:38:37,551 --> 00:38:39,587
I voted for you.
994
00:38:39,588 --> 00:38:40,550
What?
995
00:38:46,567 --> 00:38:47,916
Thank you.
996
00:38:48,517 --> 00:38:49,532
I would've voted
for you, too,
997
00:38:49,533 --> 00:38:51,537
but I-I just
really wanted to win.
998
00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:53,502
I know losing sucks,
but you know,
999
00:38:53,503 --> 00:38:54,575
sometimes it can be
a good thing.
1000
00:38:54,576 --> 00:38:56,503
Look at Al Gore.
1001
00:38:56,504 --> 00:38:58,516
He lost an election,
then he won an Oscar.
1002
00:38:58,517 --> 00:38:59,538
He did?
1003
00:39:01,504 --> 00:39:02,504
You think so?
1004
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:07,532
I don't know how
you do it.
1005
00:39:07,533 --> 00:39:09,507
What?
1006
00:39:10,008 --> 00:39:12,503
You just always know exactly
the right thing to say.
1007
00:39:12,504 --> 00:39:13,587
It's a gift.
1008
00:39:13,588 --> 00:39:16,517
(chuckles)
1009
00:39:18,204 --> 00:39:19,499
You win.
1010
00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:20,590
I can't believe
I'm about to say this,
1011
00:39:20,591 --> 00:39:22,575
but I'm taking Sue
Sylvester's advice.
1012
00:39:23,276 --> 00:39:25,524
I mailed in the application.
1013
00:39:25,525 --> 00:39:26,540
Congratulations, William.
1014
00:39:26,541 --> 00:39:27,586
I think it's
the right decision.
1015
00:39:27,587 --> 00:39:29,590
Yeah.
There's only one problem.
1016
00:39:29,591 --> 00:39:31,583
I need a written recommendation
from a colleague,
1017
00:39:31,584 --> 00:39:32,516
and I was thinking...
1018
00:39:32,517 --> 00:39:34,566
I'm one step ahead
of you, butt-chin.
1019
00:39:34,567 --> 00:39:36,542
I took the liberty of
composing a letter
1020
00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:39,541
to the Arts Governing
Board outlining
1021
00:39:39,542 --> 00:39:41,587
your astonishing
accomplishments.
1022
00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:45,541
"Not only is William a direct
descendant of Harriet Tubman,
1023
00:39:45,542 --> 00:39:48,499
he delivered my infant child
with his bare hands"?
1024
00:39:48,500 --> 00:39:50,520
Sue, Sue, this isn't even true.
1025
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:52,542
Well, what can I say, William?
I want you out of here.
1026
00:39:52,543 --> 00:39:55,521
And for the first time, I think
I mean that in a good way.
1027
00:40:09,517 --> 00:40:11,516
(shrieks)
1028
00:40:11,517 --> 00:40:12,566
Oh, my God...
1029
00:40:12,567 --> 00:40:15,517
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1030
00:40:17,504 --> 00:40:18,541
Oh...
1031
00:40:18,542 --> 00:40:19,583
(knocking on door)
1032
00:40:25,250 --> 00:40:26,275
Wow.
1033
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:28,533
You're smokin'.
1034
00:40:28,534 --> 00:40:30,524
Oh, it's actually the duck.
1035
00:40:30,525 --> 00:40:31,566
No, no.
1036
00:40:31,567 --> 00:40:34,499
It's, it's you.
1037
00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:35,591
Come in.
1038
00:40:36,092 --> 00:40:38,507
RACHEL:
I really wanted to cook you dinner,
1039
00:40:38,508 --> 00:40:39,588
but this is what
you get.
1040
00:40:39,589 --> 00:40:42,508
- This is, this is good.
- Pizza.
1041
00:40:42,511 --> 00:40:45,503
Food is food. It's, it's
the effort that counts.
1042
00:40:45,504 --> 00:40:48,566
A girl has never cooked
me dinner before.
1043
00:40:48,567 --> 00:40:49,503
I don't believe you.
1044
00:40:49,504 --> 00:40:51,517
- No.
- (Laughs)
1045
00:40:51,518 --> 00:40:52,531
No one has ever even tried.
1046
00:40:52,532 --> 00:40:53,971
I'm trying new things.
1047
00:40:53,972 --> 00:40:56,520
Doing new things,
it's all part of
1048
00:40:56,521 --> 00:40:57,975
you know, the new me.
1049
00:40:57,976 --> 00:40:59,516
And I like it.
1050
00:40:59,517 --> 00:41:01,570
I like, I like the new me.
1051
00:41:01,571 --> 00:41:04,507
I've never been the
cook-a-guy-dinner type.
1052
00:41:04,508 --> 00:41:06,582
I've always been the just
annoy-a-guy-for-a-year
1053
00:41:06,583 --> 00:41:08,541
until-he-finally-
gives-in type.
1054
00:41:08,542 --> 00:41:11,503
Well, tell, tell me
about this old Rachel.
1055
00:41:11,504 --> 00:41:13,583
- Tell me a secret.
- A secret?
1056
00:41:13,586 --> 00:41:16,499
Something that you don't want
anyone else to know.
1057
00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:19,499
Okay, but you first.
1058
00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:22,508
- Okay.
- Think of something very good.
1059
00:41:22,511 --> 00:41:24,583
- Okay, so, um, when I was a kid...
- Mm-hmm.
1060
00:41:24,586 --> 00:41:27,500
- I was obsessed with Ace of Base.
- No.
1061
00:41:27,503 --> 00:41:28,558
- Yes.
- (Laughs)
1062
00:41:28,559 --> 00:41:30,542
I was-- seriously, I had
the posters on my wall.
1063
00:41:30,543 --> 00:41:32,582
Wait. I thought you said
you were straight.
1064
00:41:32,583 --> 00:41:34,571
- Oh, come on.
- (Laughs)
1065
00:41:34,574 --> 00:41:38,570
Hot girls playing all
their own instruments...
1066
00:41:38,571 --> 00:41:40,499
is straighter than straight.
1067
00:41:40,500 --> 00:41:42,516
♪ Moon river,
wider than a mile... ♪
1068
00:41:42,517 --> 00:41:43,557
Thank you.
1069
00:41:43,558 --> 00:41:45,520
You're welcome...
Your turn.
1070
00:41:45,521 --> 00:41:47,532
My turn, okay.
1071
00:41:47,533 --> 00:41:50,499
Um, I have a good one.
1072
00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:52,583
When I was eight years old,
I got my first love letter
1073
00:41:52,584 --> 00:41:55,542
- from a guy named Tony.
- (Chuckles)
1074
00:41:55,545 --> 00:41:57,516
And he was very cute.
1075
00:41:57,517 --> 00:41:59,532
And when he gave it to me,
1076
00:41:59,533 --> 00:42:01,500
I corrected all
of the grammatical errors
1077
00:42:01,501 --> 00:42:03,500
and his spelling errors
and gave it back to him.
1078
00:42:03,501 --> 00:42:04,532
(chuckles)
1079
00:42:04,533 --> 00:42:05,583
That's so embarrassing.
(laughs)
1080
00:42:05,584 --> 00:42:07,583
I've never told
anybody that before,
1081
00:42:07,584 --> 00:42:10,566
not even Finn.
1082
00:42:12,567 --> 00:42:13,982
Well, just so you know,
1083
00:42:13,983 --> 00:42:16,507
no matter how lovely this is,
1084
00:42:16,508 --> 00:42:19,507
I'm hands-off.
1085
00:42:19,508 --> 00:42:20,550
Just friends.
1086
00:42:23,525 --> 00:42:26,557
♪ We're after ♪
1087
00:42:26,558 --> 00:42:30,557
♪ The same ♪
1088
00:42:30,558 --> 00:42:33,591
♪ Rainbow's end ♪
1089
00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:38,557
♪ Waitin' round the bend ♪
1090
00:42:38,558 --> 00:42:41,541
♪ My huckleberry friend ♪
1091
00:42:41,542 --> 00:42:44,549
♪ Moon river... ♪
1092
00:42:44,550 --> 00:42:46,541
(knocking on door)
1093
00:42:46,542 --> 00:42:48,541
♪ And me. ♪
1094
00:42:48,542 --> 00:42:49,550
- (groans)
- (Chuckles)
1095
00:42:49,553 --> 00:42:50,566
It's Kurt.
1096
00:42:50,567 --> 00:42:52,508
He keeps forgetting his keys.
1097
00:42:54,508 --> 00:42:55,558
("Moon River" ends)
1098
00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:14,516
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com