1
00:00:01,483 --> 00:00:02,700
So here's what
you missed on Glee:
2
00:00:02,784 --> 00:00:04,151
Sue's pregnant,
which is crazy...
3
00:00:04,202 --> 00:00:05,903
I had my eggs frozen
in the late '70s.
4
00:00:05,987 --> 00:00:06,853
...and she won't say
who the father is,
5
00:00:06,905 --> 00:00:08,372
but insists that he's famous.
6
00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:09,957
Rachel and Finn
decided to get married
7
00:00:10,024 --> 00:00:11,542
after Regionals,
where the New Directions
8
00:00:11,626 --> 00:00:13,494
beat Sebastian and the Warblers
and a madrigal group
9
00:00:13,545 --> 00:00:15,329
that just sort of made
everyone uncomfortable.
10
00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:17,081
And Sebastian made up with
Blaine after he realized
11
00:00:17,165 --> 00:00:18,699
life's too short to blind
people with rock salt.
12
00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:20,467
Quinn thought Rachel and Finn
were too young to get married,
13
00:00:20,535 --> 00:00:21,886
and refused to go
to the wedding.
14
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,837
...which makes me really sad,
because I would have loved
15
00:00:23,889 --> 00:00:25,639
to have seen you in
a bridesmaid's dress, Quinn.
16
00:00:25,707 --> 00:00:27,474
...but then changed her mind
and started texting
17
00:00:27,542 --> 00:00:28,392
while she raced
to the courthouse,
18
00:00:28,476 --> 00:00:29,894
and her car got hit by a truck.
19
00:00:29,978 --> 00:00:30,811
And that's what
you missed on Glee!
20
00:00:34,683 --> 00:00:36,016
(school bell ringing)
21
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:37,651
So do you think if Quinn
hadn't gotten into her accident,
22
00:00:37,719 --> 00:00:39,853
we still would've gone
through with the wedding?
Yeah, totally.
23
00:00:39,905 --> 00:00:41,722
Totally. I mean,
I'm kind of glad we're waiting.
24
00:00:41,773 --> 00:00:44,158
Now it doesn't have to be
a Justice of the Peace quickie.
25
00:00:44,225 --> 00:00:45,776
Hey, I was thinking
since Nationals
26
00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:47,695
are in Chicago this year,
27
00:00:47,746 --> 00:00:49,697
we-we should have the wedding
someplace special.
28
00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:52,116
Like-like on the pitcher's mound
of Wrigley Field.
29
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,335
O-Or someplace else.
It's not that, it's Quinn.
30
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,203
I can't stop thinking
about her. She's...
31
00:00:56,254 --> 00:00:58,589
Right behind you.
32
00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:07,298
Hi, Quinn!
We missed you so much.
33
00:01:07,382 --> 00:01:09,466
No, don't.
34
00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:12,186
I could have easily become one
of those creepy memorial pages
35
00:01:12,253 --> 00:01:14,972
in the yearbook, but by
the grace of God, I'm here.
36
00:01:16,975 --> 00:01:18,859
Believe it or not...
37
00:01:18,926 --> 00:01:20,477
this is the happiest
day of my life.
38
00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:24,031
Come on, Artie.
I'll race you to the choir room.
39
00:01:24,098 --> 00:01:25,816
(Elton John's
"I'm Still Standing" begins)
40
00:01:29,621 --> 00:01:31,605
♪ You could never know
what it's like ♪
41
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,608
♪ Your blood like winter
freezes just like ice ♪
42
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:37,244
♪ And there's a cold lonely
light that shines from you ♪
43
00:01:37,295 --> 00:01:38,746
♪ You'll wind up like
the wreck you hide ♪
44
00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:43,000
♪ Behind that mask you use
45
00:01:43,084 --> 00:01:45,252
♪ And did you think this fool
could never win? ♪
46
00:01:45,303 --> 00:01:48,121
♪ Well, look at me,
I'm coming back again ♪
47
00:01:48,173 --> 00:01:50,457
♪ I got a taste of love
in a simple way ♪
48
00:01:50,508 --> 00:01:52,176
♪ And if you need to know,
while I'm still standing ♪
49
00:01:52,260 --> 00:01:55,980
♪ You just fade away
50
00:01:56,064 --> 00:01:57,898
♪ Don't you know
I'm still standing ♪
51
00:01:57,965 --> 00:02:00,234
♪ Better than I ever did
52
00:02:00,301 --> 00:02:03,237
♪ Looking like a true survivor
53
00:02:03,304 --> 00:02:05,022
♪ Feeling like a little kid
54
00:02:06,574 --> 00:02:09,326
♪ I'm still standing
55
00:02:09,411 --> 00:02:11,412
♪ After all this time
56
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:14,531
♪ Picking up the pieces
of my life ♪
57
00:02:14,616 --> 00:02:16,166
♪ Without you on my mind
58
00:02:16,251 --> 00:02:18,752
♪ I'm still standing
59
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,087
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
60
00:02:21,589 --> 00:02:24,041
♪ I'm still standing
61
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,010
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
62
00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:31,181
♪ Once I never could
hope to win ♪
63
00:02:31,266 --> 00:02:32,850
♪ You started down the road
leaving me again ♪
64
00:02:32,934 --> 00:02:35,936
♪ The threats you made were
meant to cut me down ♪
65
00:02:36,003 --> 00:02:37,888
♪ And if our love
was just a circus ♪
66
00:02:37,972 --> 00:02:40,357
♪ You'd be a clown by now
67
00:02:40,442 --> 00:02:43,060
♪ Don't you know
I'm still standing ♪
68
00:02:43,144 --> 00:02:46,063
♪ Better than I ever did
69
00:02:46,147 --> 00:02:48,949
♪ Looking like a true survivor
70
00:02:49,016 --> 00:02:51,618
♪ Feeling like a little kid
71
00:02:51,686 --> 00:02:54,321
♪ I'm still standing
72
00:02:54,372 --> 00:02:56,990
♪ After all this time
73
00:02:57,042 --> 00:02:58,992
♪ Picking up the
pieces of my life ♪
74
00:02:59,044 --> 00:03:01,712
♪ Without you on my mind
75
00:03:01,796 --> 00:03:03,831
♪ I'm still standing
76
00:03:03,882 --> 00:03:05,799
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
77
00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:07,551
♪ Oh-oh-oh...
78
00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:09,753
♪ I'm still standing
79
00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:11,705
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ I'm still standing
80
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:14,475
♪ I'm still standing,
I'm still standing. ♪
81
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,060
(applauding)
82
00:03:16,144 --> 00:03:17,544
(Quinn laughs)
83
00:03:17,595 --> 00:03:19,763
Here's a lesson for
your board, Mr. Shue.
84
00:03:19,848 --> 00:03:22,649
Don't text and drive. Ever.
85
00:03:22,717 --> 00:03:24,318
It's the stupidest thing
I've ever done.
86
00:03:24,385 --> 00:03:25,769
Besides sleeping with Puck.
87
00:03:25,854 --> 00:03:27,855
(quiet laughter)
88
00:03:27,906 --> 00:03:30,107
There's a lot of rumors floating
around, so let's clear the air.
89
00:03:30,225 --> 00:03:32,776
First of all, all my plumbing
still works, which is awesome.
90
00:03:32,861 --> 00:03:35,529
But my spine was severely
compressed in the car accident,
91
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:38,732
which basically means
I can't move my feet or legs.
92
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,066
But the good thing is that
93
00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:41,902
I'm starting to regain feeling,
94
00:03:41,953 --> 00:03:45,539
so with a lot of physical
therapy, and your prayers,
95
00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:47,257
I stand a good chance
for a full recovery.
96
00:03:47,342 --> 00:03:49,176
So no tears.
97
00:03:49,243 --> 00:03:51,745
That means you, Tina.
98
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,764
Oh, and I apologize
for the number.
99
00:03:53,848 --> 00:03:56,183
My dance moves aren't
as smooth as Artie's yet.
100
00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:57,935
With practice,
they will be.
101
00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:05,592
I promise that by the time
we go to Nationals,
102
00:04:05,643 --> 00:04:07,694
I'll be out of this chair,
103
00:04:07,762 --> 00:04:09,747
and dancing on that stage.
104
00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:10,697
All right.
105
00:04:12,066 --> 00:04:13,784
Whoo!
106
00:04:23,378 --> 00:04:24,277
(school bell ringing)
107
00:04:24,329 --> 00:04:26,079
I'm sorry, I...
108
00:04:26,131 --> 00:04:28,832
I don't think I understand
what you just told me.
109
00:04:28,917 --> 00:04:31,235
I said, I'm making
swim coach Roz Washington
110
00:04:31,302 --> 00:04:33,453
co-coach of the Cheerios!
111
00:04:33,505 --> 00:04:36,640
How can you do this to me?
112
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:38,275
ROZ:
I think I can answer
that question.
113
00:04:38,343 --> 00:04:41,478
This Saturday the Cheerios!
had Regionals tournament.
114
00:04:41,563 --> 00:04:44,348
You were 15 minutes late.
That's unacceptable.
115
00:04:44,432 --> 00:04:46,016
I had a doctor's appointment.
116
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,018
Oh... I know.
The doctor had to shine
117
00:04:48,102 --> 00:04:51,688
a flashlight in your va-jay-jay
to get all the bats to fly out.
118
00:04:51,773 --> 00:04:53,941
I understand that keeping
bats out of your womb
119
00:04:53,992 --> 00:04:57,110
is an important part of having a
baby when you're older than God.
120
00:04:57,162 --> 00:05:01,281
But it is no way to win
a national championship.
Sue...
121
00:05:01,332 --> 00:05:03,801
The lovely and talented
bronze medalist
122
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,586
Roz Washington has a point.
123
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:08,672
We need the money
and sponsorships that only
124
00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:10,457
a national championship
can bring to the school,
125
00:05:10,508 --> 00:05:13,794
and your condition is
compromising your work.
126
00:05:13,845 --> 00:05:15,262
It's settled.
My word is law.
127
00:05:15,329 --> 00:05:17,681
This will not stand!
128
00:05:17,765 --> 00:05:18,882
Oh, it's gonna stand.
129
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:20,333
And you know what else
is gonna stand?
130
00:05:20,385 --> 00:05:23,554
Your fully-grown, adult baby
131
00:05:23,638 --> 00:05:26,523
when he pops out of your birth
canal, before he hurries off
132
00:05:26,608 --> 00:05:29,109
to the high-powered law firm
where he has just made partner.
133
00:05:29,176 --> 00:05:32,362
So take your Centrum Silver,
and your old ass,
134
00:05:32,447 --> 00:05:35,315
and find a new dream.
135
00:05:42,857 --> 00:05:45,692
What if I can guarantee you
a national championship?
136
00:05:45,743 --> 00:05:47,127
And how will you do that?
137
00:05:47,194 --> 00:05:49,246
The Glee Club.
If they win at Nationals,
138
00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:51,882
the school wins
a $10,000 cash prize.
139
00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:54,001
I get you that money,
140
00:05:54,052 --> 00:05:57,671
I get to run the cheerleading
program alone!
141
00:05:57,722 --> 00:06:00,173
(whistle blows)
Five, six, seven, eight!
142
00:06:00,225 --> 00:06:01,091
♪
143
00:06:07,348 --> 00:06:09,600
Stop! Please, stop!
144
00:06:09,684 --> 00:06:12,052
This is an embarrassment.
145
00:06:12,103 --> 00:06:14,171
Hey, Mercedes.
Who you texting?
146
00:06:14,239 --> 00:06:15,689
I'm not texting anyone,
147
00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:18,025
I'm donating to
the Obama campaign...
148
00:06:18,076 --> 00:06:20,110
(screams)
My Droid!
149
00:06:20,194 --> 00:06:22,613
Good news! I booked a tour at
the Railroad Museum on Friday,
150
00:06:22,697 --> 00:06:25,365
which means we're gonna have
an awesome Senior's Ditch Day.
151
00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:26,950
What is she doing here?
Hey, Granny Panties!
152
00:06:27,035 --> 00:06:28,619
I'm taking over Booty Camp1
153
00:06:28,703 --> 00:06:30,236
Why on earth do you
want to run Booty Camp?
154
00:06:30,288 --> 00:06:32,372
Because, as I established, I
want to help you win Nationals.
155
00:06:32,423 --> 00:06:34,708
And I am a champion
who can whip that squad
156
00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:36,126
of pear-shaped teens into shape.
157
00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:38,211
You're out of shape,
you're constantly late,
158
00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:39,630
and when you're not
too busy texting,
159
00:06:39,714 --> 00:06:40,931
you're complaining about
160
00:06:41,015 --> 00:06:42,849
the choreography
you're too lazy to learn.
161
00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:45,602
You're nothing but
a coven of tardy,
162
00:06:45,687 --> 00:06:48,272
narcissistic, bloated
bags of cellulite
163
00:06:48,356 --> 00:06:49,940
who will stab each other
in the back
164
00:06:50,024 --> 00:06:51,525
at the first glimpse of a solo
165
00:06:51,592 --> 00:06:54,811
in a competition hosted by
a late-night horror movie host.
166
00:06:54,896 --> 00:06:56,763
Well, those days are over.
167
00:06:56,814 --> 00:06:58,065
(school bell ringing)
Sue?
168
00:06:58,116 --> 00:06:59,533
We need to talk about what
happened at Booty Camp.
169
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,435
Oh, you mean my epic smack down
of the glee club over their
170
00:07:02,487 --> 00:07:04,538
complete apathy and
lack of professionalism?
171
00:07:04,605 --> 00:07:06,540
According to the kids,
you were typical abusive
172
00:07:06,607 --> 00:07:08,292
belligerent self,
only more so.
173
00:07:08,376 --> 00:07:10,327
I just got this
e-mail from Kurt.
174
00:07:10,411 --> 00:07:12,412
"Mr. Shue, save us!
175
00:07:12,463 --> 00:07:14,715
Coach Sue is meaner
than Tabatha!"
First of all,
176
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:17,217
I have absolutely no idea who
Porcelain is referring to.
177
00:07:17,284 --> 00:07:19,219
I'm assuming it's gay and niche.
178
00:07:19,286 --> 00:07:20,804
Secondly, based on
the pathetic display
179
00:07:20,888 --> 00:07:22,622
I just saw?
180
00:07:22,674 --> 00:07:25,559
Your glee club's back-to-back
victories were flukes.
181
00:07:25,626 --> 00:07:26,727
Oh...
Against Vocal Adrenaline?
182
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,679
On the national stage?
183
00:07:28,763 --> 00:07:30,296
You'll be like lambs
to the slaughter.
184
00:07:30,348 --> 00:07:33,183
Why are you resisting
my help, William?
185
00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:35,235
We should try to
inspire and encourage
186
00:07:35,302 --> 00:07:37,303
our kids, Sue,
not humiliate and crush them.
187
00:07:37,355 --> 00:07:38,638
I don't get it.
188
00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:40,691
You were acting like you
had turned over a new leaf.
189
00:07:40,775 --> 00:07:42,609
William... I'm near the end
of my first trimester.
190
00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:45,278
I'm wildly hormonal, riding out
191
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:47,480
massive, unpredictable
mood swings.
192
00:07:47,532 --> 00:07:50,000
Stop trying to
understand my actions.
193
00:07:50,084 --> 00:07:52,152
Maybe you should
talk to your doctor
194
00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:54,171
about adjusting your medication?
Oh, I'll ask.
195
00:07:54,255 --> 00:07:56,590
I'm going there this week to
confirm the sex of my daughter.
196
00:07:56,657 --> 00:07:59,626
Mm! Oh, Sue!
That's a mother-to-be
197
00:07:59,677 --> 00:08:01,845
single most important doctor
visit. Who's going with you?
198
00:08:01,929 --> 00:08:03,513
Same person who's going to
help me raise this child,
199
00:08:03,598 --> 00:08:04,998
Barbara Gordon. No one.
200
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:08,802
We'll...
Sue, you can't go alone.
201
00:08:08,853 --> 00:08:11,004
No, you need a friend there,
for moral support.
202
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,639
I agree.
203
00:08:14,475 --> 00:08:16,643
We'll go with you.
204
00:08:18,012 --> 00:08:18,895
(school bell ringing)
205
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,346
You okay?
206
00:08:20,398 --> 00:08:21,498
You seem a little preoccupied.
207
00:08:21,566 --> 00:08:22,866
Oh, well, my brother's in town.
208
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:25,018
He's picking me up,
taking me out to lunch.
209
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,519
Blaine, that's exciting!
210
00:08:26,571 --> 00:08:28,789
I finally get to meet this
mysterious brother of yours,
211
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,123
who you refuse to talk about.
212
00:08:30,191 --> 00:08:31,708
I'm dying to know
what he looks like.
213
00:08:31,793 --> 00:08:33,543
Oh, trust me, you...
214
00:08:33,628 --> 00:08:34,911
you already know
what he looks like.
215
00:08:34,996 --> 00:08:36,496
Blainie!
216
00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:37,664
Hey, Coop!
Hey!
217
00:08:37,715 --> 00:08:39,416
Hey.
How are you, bud?
218
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,801
Good. Good to see you, man.
219
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:41,868
This your,
this your boyfriend, here?
220
00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:43,220
Actually, yes, it is.
Hi.
221
00:08:43,304 --> 00:08:45,338
Kurt, this is my brother...
Nice to meet you.
222
00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:47,391
...Cooper Anderson.
Oh, my God.
You're the guy from
223
00:08:47,475 --> 00:08:48,558
the freecreditratingtoday.com
commercials!
224
00:08:48,643 --> 00:08:49,843
Guilty as charged.
225
00:08:49,894 --> 00:08:51,261
♪ Know your score
226
00:08:51,345 --> 00:08:54,014
♪ Freecreditratingtoday.com
227
00:08:54,065 --> 00:08:56,016
♪ Slash savings!
228
00:08:56,067 --> 00:09:00,487
I love those commercials!
The jingle's my ringtone!
229
00:09:00,554 --> 00:09:01,988
Excuse me, I'm sorry
to interrupt, but, um,
230
00:09:02,056 --> 00:09:03,490
I just needed to tell you
231
00:09:03,557 --> 00:09:05,909
that I am an enormous
fan of your work.
232
00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:06,993
Thank you.
233
00:09:07,061 --> 00:09:08,829
Will you sign my breast?
My pleasure.
234
00:09:09,864 --> 00:09:11,731
"Keep on dreaming.
235
00:09:11,783 --> 00:09:13,500
"Yours...
Mine.
236
00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:16,402
Cooper Anderson."
237
00:09:16,454 --> 00:09:18,004
You do me a great honor.
238
00:09:18,072 --> 00:09:20,590
And if Alan Menken isn't
personally writing you
239
00:09:20,675 --> 00:09:22,542
a fairy tale musical
at this very moment,
240
00:09:22,593 --> 00:09:25,178
I will hunt him down
and beat him senseless
241
00:09:25,246 --> 00:09:26,463
with a cudgel.
(laughs)
242
00:09:26,547 --> 00:09:31,101
Because you, sir,
are a Disney prince.
243
00:09:31,185 --> 00:09:33,019
Wow.
244
00:09:33,087 --> 00:09:36,356
God, it is great to be
back in the Midwest.
245
00:09:36,423 --> 00:09:38,608
My commercial's on hiatus,
246
00:09:38,693 --> 00:09:41,261
so I told my agent I was
headed back to the heartland
247
00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:43,947
to press the flesh,
do some character research.
248
00:09:44,031 --> 00:09:46,566
Next season's commercials have
a lot more intense, gritty
249
00:09:46,617 --> 00:09:48,201
character stuff, so
I really want to explore
250
00:09:48,269 --> 00:09:50,070
my salt-of-the-earth roots.
251
00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:51,938
Blaine, your brother's
the best-looking man
in North America.
252
00:09:51,989 --> 00:09:53,790
Um, Coop and I are gonna head...
Excuse me.
253
00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:55,876
Gaston, if I could pull you
away from these ladies
254
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:58,962
for just a moment; I have
something I'd like to ask you.
255
00:09:59,046 --> 00:10:01,581
Yeah. I mean, that's...
256
00:10:01,632 --> 00:10:04,384
that's why I never really
talk about my brother.
257
00:10:04,719 --> 00:10:04,719
+
258
00:10:06,753 --> 00:10:08,421
PUCK:
We all know why we're here.
I've waited five years for this.
259
00:10:08,472 --> 00:10:09,722
I want ideas for
Senior Ditch Day. Go.
260
00:10:09,789 --> 00:10:11,424
Ooh! A Gershwin/Sondheim
scavenger hunt!
261
00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:12,675
That sounds like torture.
262
00:10:12,759 --> 00:10:14,427
We want actual ideas, Kurt.
263
00:10:14,478 --> 00:10:15,895
How about a dance movie
marathon? Footloose...
264
00:10:15,962 --> 00:10:17,763
Footloose 2011.
265
00:10:17,814 --> 00:10:19,398
What about a non-alcoholic
pub crawl?
266
00:10:19,466 --> 00:10:21,400
It's Senior Ditch Day, not
Senior Citizen's Ditch Day.
267
00:10:21,468 --> 00:10:23,853
It's springtime. I would like
to see something give birth.
268
00:10:23,937 --> 00:10:25,538
(giggling)
269
00:10:25,606 --> 00:10:27,857
Quinn, I'm so sorry.
270
00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:30,993
It was my wedding
that you were going to
271
00:10:31,078 --> 00:10:32,995
when you got into
your car crash, and...
272
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,580
you were answering
my text message, and now...
273
00:10:34,648 --> 00:10:36,165
we're all sitting here,
and we're talking about
274
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,251
this day that's supposed to be
275
00:10:38,318 --> 00:10:40,086
the most amazing
and unforgettable day
276
00:10:40,153 --> 00:10:42,088
of our high school lives,
and we're-we're completely
277
00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:44,640
ignoring the fact that
she's sitting in that chair?
278
00:10:44,708 --> 00:10:47,510
It's not right.
279
00:10:47,594 --> 00:10:49,779
It's not right,
and it shouldn't be like this.
280
00:10:49,846 --> 00:10:51,631
Well, maybe not, but...
281
00:10:51,682 --> 00:10:53,549
this is the way it is.
282
00:10:53,634 --> 00:10:56,769
My accident, which you did
not cause, by the way,
283
00:10:56,836 --> 00:11:00,223
does not define me
or ruin our senior year.
284
00:11:00,307 --> 00:11:02,642
I meant what I said
in the choir room.
285
00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:05,311
I'm not gonna dwell on this, and
neither should any of you, okay?
286
00:11:05,362 --> 00:11:06,395
Come here.
287
00:11:12,786 --> 00:11:16,606
Come on.
(chuckles) Come on.
288
00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:21,244
Now, we are ditching as planned.
289
00:11:22,546 --> 00:11:24,914
I think we should go
to Six Flags.
290
00:11:24,998 --> 00:11:27,032
The Lady Fabray has chosen
wisely. Six Flags it is.
291
00:11:27,084 --> 00:11:28,200
Meeting adjourned.
292
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:29,552
Hey!
293
00:11:29,636 --> 00:11:31,537
Hey, Finn, can you hang back
for a sec?
294
00:11:31,588 --> 00:11:32,922
The Apple guy.
295
00:11:33,006 --> 00:11:35,057
The Facebook guy.
Abraham Lincoln.
296
00:11:35,142 --> 00:11:36,809
What do these guys all have
in common with us?
297
00:11:36,876 --> 00:11:38,711
I don't know.
They were all in a show choir?
298
00:11:38,762 --> 00:11:41,147
None of 'em were
taken seriously in
high school, dude.
299
00:11:41,214 --> 00:11:42,715
They were written off
by the world
300
00:11:42,766 --> 00:11:44,150
until they got
the big idea.
301
00:11:44,217 --> 00:11:45,985
Then bingo!
The rest is history.
302
00:11:46,052 --> 00:11:47,520
Okay. So what's your big idea?
303
00:11:47,571 --> 00:11:51,357
Lima's only got 22 pools.
304
00:11:51,408 --> 00:11:53,242
Southern California has
800 freaking thousand!
305
00:11:53,327 --> 00:11:54,560
I Googled it.
306
00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:57,697
So after graduation,
I'm gonna move to L.A.
307
00:11:57,748 --> 00:11:59,565
and expand my
pool cleaning business.
308
00:11:59,616 --> 00:12:01,367
And I want you to be
my business partner.
309
00:12:01,418 --> 00:12:02,868
With your brains
and my jaw line,
310
00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:04,403
I'm telling you,
we'd kill it.
311
00:12:04,454 --> 00:12:07,173
Wow, dude, I'm so honored
that you'd even consider me.
312
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,574
But you know, after we graduate,
313
00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:10,259
I'm going to New York
with Rachel.
314
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:13,713
Okay. Let's say you weren't,
just 'cause maybe she doesn't
315
00:12:13,764 --> 00:12:16,599
get into that fancy school
or you don't get married
right away.
316
00:12:16,683 --> 00:12:18,384
We are. It's gonna happen.
317
00:12:18,435 --> 00:12:19,418
Okay.
318
00:12:19,469 --> 00:12:21,721
But, hey, could
you do me a favor?
319
00:12:21,772 --> 00:12:23,589
Um, you know that
blonde on Sycamore Street
320
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,608
that likes to mow
her lawn in tube tops?
321
00:12:25,692 --> 00:12:26,925
Yeah, Mrs. Tennison.
Yeah.
322
00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:28,260
Well, her Jacuzzi's busted.
323
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,396
So, I thought since you know
so much about motors,
324
00:12:30,447 --> 00:12:32,481
you could take a look at it.
Help me out.
325
00:12:32,566 --> 00:12:34,950
Yeah. All right,
I could probably do that.
326
00:12:35,035 --> 00:12:36,485
(bell ringing)
327
00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:41,073
Lazy idiots, your leader
Will Schuester has informed me
328
00:12:41,124 --> 00:12:43,743
that my teaching methods
are harsh and too extreme.
329
00:12:43,794 --> 00:12:47,013
So I've decided to show you
what a real artist looks
330
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,714
and acts like.
331
00:12:48,782 --> 00:12:52,918
Ladies and gays,
as my gift to you,
332
00:12:52,969 --> 00:12:54,637
which you do not deserve,
333
00:12:54,721 --> 00:12:57,306
I give you
Porcelain's famous brother...
334
00:12:57,391 --> 00:12:58,391
Actually, it's my brother.
335
00:12:58,458 --> 00:12:59,809
...Cooper Anderson.
336
00:13:02,062 --> 00:13:03,062
Thank you, Sue.
337
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:06,982
Namaste.
Okay.
338
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:10,019
Guys, it was just a few years
ago that I was sitting
339
00:13:10,103 --> 00:13:13,489
in a sad drab room like this
with dreams like yours
340
00:13:13,573 --> 00:13:16,308
that I thought would
never come true.
341
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,477
But you know what?
They did.
342
00:13:18,528 --> 00:13:22,531
So, tomorrow, at Sue's
insistence, I will be teaching
343
00:13:22,616 --> 00:13:25,201
a Master class in acting
for anyone who's interested
344
00:13:25,285 --> 00:13:27,319
in becoming successful
in the business like me.
345
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:28,587
Fantastic!
346
00:13:30,924 --> 00:13:32,324
Cooper, we can't
thank you enough.
347
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,127
This is so generous of you to
share your time and expertise.
348
00:13:35,178 --> 00:13:37,763
Well, it's very clear that
the Anderson brothers
are very talented,
349
00:13:37,831 --> 00:13:40,499
and I'm sure that there were
many a family holiday
350
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,885
where the two of you
maybe did a little duet
by the piano?
351
00:13:42,969 --> 00:13:45,838
Actually, it's funny that you
should mention that because
352
00:13:45,889 --> 00:13:47,506
Blaine and I were famous
around the neighborhood.
353
00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:48,841
Not famous.
354
00:13:48,892 --> 00:13:51,677
We were pretty famous
around the neighborhood
355
00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:52,978
for our dueling
Simon LeBon impressions.
356
00:13:53,029 --> 00:13:56,148
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Please don't make me do that.
357
00:13:56,199 --> 00:13:57,283
Oh, no, Blaine,
you have to.
358
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:58,401
You're both so
handsome and good.
359
00:13:58,485 --> 00:14:00,236
Come on, Blaine.
What do you say?
360
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,321
How about a little Duran Duran?
Is that okay?
361
00:14:02,372 --> 00:14:03,956
Yeah.
Come on.
362
00:14:04,023 --> 00:14:05,825
Okay, okay, okay.
363
00:14:07,193 --> 00:14:08,994
You're on, Cooper.
364
00:14:09,045 --> 00:14:10,713
Ooh, the cardigan's
coming off.
Whoo!
365
00:14:10,797 --> 00:14:14,250
(Duran Duran's
"Hungry Like the Wolf" begins)
366
00:14:14,334 --> 00:14:17,336
♪ Darken the city,
night is a wire ♪
367
00:14:17,387 --> 00:14:21,140
♪ Steam in the subway,
Earth is afire ♪
368
00:14:21,207 --> 00:14:25,878
♪ Do, do, do-do-do, do-do-do
do-do-do, do-do-do, do, do ♪
369
00:14:28,381 --> 00:14:32,768
♪ Woman, you want me,
give me a sign ♪
370
00:14:32,853 --> 00:14:34,987
♪ And catch my breathing
even closer behind ♪
371
00:14:35,054 --> 00:14:40,576
♪ Do, do, do-do-do, do-do-do
do-do-do, do-do-do, do, do ♪
372
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,945
(Duran Duran's "Rio" begins)
373
00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:48,951
♪ Her name is Rio and she dances
on the sand ♪
374
00:14:49,035 --> 00:14:51,036
♪ Smell like I sound ♪
375
00:14:51,087 --> 00:14:55,508
♪ Just like that river twisting
through a dusty land ♪
376
00:14:55,575 --> 00:14:57,242
♪ Straddle the line ♪
377
00:14:57,294 --> 00:15:03,632
♪ And when she shines, she
really shows you all she can ♪
378
00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:05,301
♪ Mouth is alive ♪
379
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:10,756
♪ Oh, Rio, oh, Rio, dance
across the Rio Grande ♪
380
00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:16,145
♪ Hungry like the wolf
381
00:15:18,598 --> 00:15:21,283
♪ Hungry like the wolf
382
00:15:21,368 --> 00:15:24,453
(distorted voice):
♪ Hungry like the wolf
383
00:15:24,538 --> 00:15:26,038
♪ Don't make a sound ♪
384
00:15:26,105 --> 00:15:32,110
♪ Her name is Rio,
she don't need to understand ♪
385
00:15:32,162 --> 00:15:33,712
♪ Yeah
♪ Smell like I sound ♪
386
00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:39,218
♪ And I might find her
if I'm looking like I can ♪
387
00:15:39,285 --> 00:15:40,803
♪ Straddle the line ♪
388
00:15:40,887 --> 00:15:46,475
♪ Oh, Rio, oh, Rio, hear them
shout across the land ♪
389
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,093
♪ Mouth is alive
390
00:15:48,144 --> 00:15:52,932
♪ From mountains in the north
down to the Rio Grande ♪
391
00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:55,651
♪ Burning the ground ♪
392
00:15:55,735 --> 00:15:59,972
♪ Her name is Rio,
she don't need to understand ♪
393
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:01,740
♪ Smell like I sound ♪
394
00:16:01,808 --> 00:16:07,696
♪ From mountains in the north,
down to the Rio Grande ♪
395
00:16:07,781 --> 00:16:09,198
♪ Burning the ground.
396
00:16:09,282 --> 00:16:10,583
(cheering)
397
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:12,484
(applause)
398
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:17,206
Standing O. Whoo!
Well...
399
00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:20,158
I was really great
in that number.
400
00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:21,660
(bell ringing)
401
00:16:23,143 --> 00:16:23,143
+
402
00:16:24,156 --> 00:16:25,439
Could I get
a wee bit of cheese with that?
403
00:16:25,524 --> 00:16:26,907
What part of Scotland
are you from?
404
00:16:26,992 --> 00:16:29,026
Ireland. We're the micks,
they're the macs.
405
00:16:29,077 --> 00:16:30,411
I'll get you guys
some free Cokes.
406
00:16:30,495 --> 00:16:31,529
Oh, cheers.
407
00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:33,897
Bless you.
Why do you do that?
408
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:36,951
Service industry is a great
place to try out new accents.
409
00:16:37,035 --> 00:16:38,169
Keeps your instrument
from getting rusty.
410
00:16:38,236 --> 00:16:39,870
Use everything.
411
00:16:39,921 --> 00:16:41,339
Will do.
412
00:16:41,406 --> 00:16:44,208
So, nice job on
the song today.
Really nice.
413
00:16:44,259 --> 00:16:47,294
Oh, thank you.
You were a little
pitchy on "Rio,"
414
00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:49,296
and your moves lacked a theme,
though.
415
00:16:49,381 --> 00:16:53,050
My theme was dancing,
I guess.
But you have to give in to it.
416
00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:54,552
Stanislavsky says,
417
00:16:54,603 --> 00:16:56,721
"The fingers are the eyes
of the body,"
418
00:16:56,772 --> 00:17:00,191
but he never mentioned
that the toes are the ears.
419
00:17:00,258 --> 00:17:01,642
You're unbelievable.
420
00:17:01,727 --> 00:17:03,927
What do you mean?
What are you doing?
What?
421
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:07,064
All you ever do is tell me
what I'm doing wrong.
422
00:17:07,115 --> 00:17:08,949
You waste no opportunity
to remind me
423
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:11,118
how much I suck
at, like, everything.
424
00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:13,788
(Hanson's "MMMBop" playing)
No, no. Come on, Blaine.
425
00:17:13,872 --> 00:17:15,105
Your balance is
completely off.
426
00:17:15,157 --> 00:17:18,659
I just learned to walk
three years ago.
427
00:17:18,744 --> 00:17:21,412
If that happened, I'm so sorry.
428
00:17:21,463 --> 00:17:23,164
But I don't,
I don't remember it.
429
00:17:23,248 --> 00:17:24,248
Of course you don't.
430
00:17:24,299 --> 00:17:26,300
Hey, hey, little brother,
431
00:17:26,385 --> 00:17:29,086
I know there is an age
difference between us,
432
00:17:29,137 --> 00:17:31,288
But I'd really want
to be closer to you.
433
00:17:31,356 --> 00:17:33,724
I want to get to know you
a little better,
434
00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:35,926
all right?
435
00:17:35,977 --> 00:17:37,428
That's why I'm here.
436
00:17:37,479 --> 00:17:40,347
Yeah. No, I would love that.
I'd like that.
437
00:17:40,432 --> 00:17:41,632
Great! So you're gonna come
438
00:17:41,683 --> 00:17:43,100
to my Master class tomorrow,
right?
439
00:17:43,151 --> 00:17:44,735
Right?
Yeah, sure.
440
00:17:44,803 --> 00:17:46,270
Great. Cheers.
441
00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:47,605
The accent.
442
00:17:47,656 --> 00:17:48,739
Top o' the morning.
443
00:17:50,192 --> 00:17:51,742
Ready?
444
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,277
I don't know. It's super-steep.
445
00:17:53,328 --> 00:17:56,163
In fact, it's the steepest
accessibility ramp in Lima.
446
00:17:56,248 --> 00:17:58,449
I know.
I've conquered them all.
447
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,701
I think I'm just gonna go
to the front of the school.
448
00:18:00,786 --> 00:18:03,170
That ramp is nice and gentle.
449
00:18:03,255 --> 00:18:04,422
Quinn Fabray!
450
00:18:06,174 --> 00:18:08,209
I believe in you.
451
00:18:12,664 --> 00:18:14,098
Now come on.
(sighs)
452
00:18:14,165 --> 00:18:16,550
Prove me right.
You can do this.
453
00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:18,719
I'm not gonna make it.
454
00:18:18,804 --> 00:18:19,553
You will!
455
00:18:19,638 --> 00:18:21,105
(grunting)
456
00:18:21,172 --> 00:18:23,307
My arms...
457
00:18:23,358 --> 00:18:24,725
...are like iron! Come on!
458
00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:26,110
You can do it!
459
00:18:26,177 --> 00:18:27,311
...aren't strong like yours.
460
00:18:27,362 --> 00:18:28,646
Yes, you are.
Lean forward and push.
461
00:18:28,697 --> 00:18:30,731
(laughs)
462
00:18:30,816 --> 00:18:32,450
(grunting): Ow.
463
00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,984
Come on. You're halfway there.
464
00:18:34,035 --> 00:18:37,238
You've got this!
Push! Push!
465
00:18:37,322 --> 00:18:39,523
That sounds familiar.
466
00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:40,658
(both laugh)
467
00:18:40,709 --> 00:18:42,493
It's just like
having a baby. Come on.
468
00:18:42,544 --> 00:18:44,378
You wouldn't know!
469
00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:45,529
Three,
470
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:47,665
BOTH:
Two...
471
00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:49,800
one... zero.
472
00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:51,802
You made it!
Whoo!
473
00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:52,887
Oh, my God.
474
00:18:52,971 --> 00:18:54,672
Whoo!
475
00:18:54,723 --> 00:18:56,590
(both laughing)
476
00:18:58,143 --> 00:18:59,560
Now just stay
up there.
477
00:18:59,644 --> 00:19:01,812
I would say that was one
478
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:03,647
of the hardest
things I've ever done.
479
00:19:03,715 --> 00:19:05,215
Until you go
to Six Flags.
480
00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:06,884
Look, I'm not trying
to be a buzzkill,
481
00:19:06,935 --> 00:19:08,235
but going to an
amusement park
482
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,603
when you're in
a wheelchair--
483
00:19:09,688 --> 00:19:11,105
especially if you're
still getting used to it--
484
00:19:11,189 --> 00:19:12,439
can kind of
be a drag.
485
00:19:12,524 --> 00:19:15,075
Artie, it's Senior Ditch Day.
486
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,828
It's the only Senior Ditch Day
I'm ever going to have.
487
00:19:17,896 --> 00:19:20,331
I completely agree,
which is why I want you to come
488
00:19:20,398 --> 00:19:21,332
with me on Friday.
489
00:19:21,399 --> 00:19:22,783
I promise you,
490
00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:25,419
it will be the most amazing,
incredible and inspiring
491
00:19:25,504 --> 00:19:27,087
Ditch Day ever.
492
00:19:27,172 --> 00:19:28,172
(bell ringing)
493
00:19:28,239 --> 00:19:30,073
Whoo!
494
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:33,511
Welcome, guys, to the Cooper
Anderson Acting Master class.
495
00:19:33,578 --> 00:19:34,912
Thank you. Yes.
496
00:19:34,963 --> 00:19:37,431
Buckle your seat belts, kids,
buckle your seat belts
497
00:19:37,516 --> 00:19:40,584
'cause I'm about
to pour you a tall glass of
498
00:19:40,635 --> 00:19:41,886
"This is how it is."
499
00:19:41,937 --> 00:19:43,437
First thing you're gonna
want to know:
500
00:19:43,522 --> 00:19:46,023
Don't go to college.
It is a waste of time.
501
00:19:46,090 --> 00:19:47,141
Number two:
502
00:19:47,225 --> 00:19:48,976
Don't go to New York.
503
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:51,478
Theater is lame
and Broadway is dead.
504
00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:53,113
Real actors do TV and film,
505
00:19:53,198 --> 00:19:55,449
which means Hollywood
is where it's at.
506
00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:57,568
Now let's talk headshots.
507
00:19:57,619 --> 00:20:00,738
Always, without fail,
turn into a pose.
508
00:20:00,789 --> 00:20:02,289
Again.
CLASS: Wow.
509
00:20:02,374 --> 00:20:03,624
And again.
CLASS: Ooh...
510
00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:05,576
And one more time.
CLASS: Oh, yeah!
511
00:20:05,627 --> 00:20:07,878
Yes, that is a dynamic headshot,
and bam,
512
00:20:07,946 --> 00:20:10,247
you just got your first
callback. So now you've got
513
00:20:10,298 --> 00:20:12,333
your "sides."
Your foot's in the door.
514
00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:14,284
What do you do next?
Gotta figure out,
515
00:20:14,336 --> 00:20:16,220
is it comedic or is it dramatic?
516
00:20:16,287 --> 00:20:18,005
Often, it's hard to tell, right?
517
00:20:18,089 --> 00:20:20,123
So do what I do:
ask the director.
518
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,642
"Is this scene comedic
or dramatic?"
519
00:20:21,726 --> 00:20:23,761
He will know you're an
actor who's not afraid
520
00:20:23,812 --> 00:20:25,262
to ask the tough questions,
right?
521
00:20:25,313 --> 00:20:26,847
Why are you writing this down?
522
00:20:26,932 --> 00:20:28,265
Okay, what's the key
to a dramatic scene?
523
00:20:28,316 --> 00:20:29,433
Finding the emotion.
524
00:20:29,484 --> 00:20:31,185
Connecting
with your scene partner.
525
00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:33,020
Oh, no, no and no.
526
00:20:33,104 --> 00:20:35,356
The key to a dramatic scene
is pointing.
527
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,324
When people are
really emotional,
528
00:20:37,409 --> 00:20:40,160
they point their fingers a lot.
529
00:20:40,245 --> 00:20:41,862
That's not true
at all.
530
00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:43,313
That's... that's
terrible advice.
531
00:20:43,365 --> 00:20:46,083
Excuse me, guys, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Blaine.
532
00:20:46,150 --> 00:20:47,835
Are you an internationally
beloved spokesman
533
00:20:47,919 --> 00:20:50,537
for the Internet's fastest-
growing credit score Web site?
534
00:20:50,622 --> 00:20:51,872
GIRL: No.
535
00:20:51,957 --> 00:20:53,657
I didn't think so.
536
00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:55,826
So let's focus in, okay?
I'm here for you.
537
00:20:55,877 --> 00:20:57,428
I don't normally do this,
538
00:20:57,495 --> 00:20:59,513
but because you're in brother's
class and you guys are so nice,
539
00:20:59,598 --> 00:21:01,131
I'm gonna give you some
Level II stuff.
540
00:21:01,182 --> 00:21:04,101
(excited chatter)
541
00:21:09,007 --> 00:21:10,941
The secret to great acting,
542
00:21:11,009 --> 00:21:12,576
great acting:
543
00:21:12,644 --> 00:21:16,530
ignoring whatever
the other actor is doing.
544
00:21:16,615 --> 00:21:20,234
Eye contact with a scene partner
is incredibly distracting.
545
00:21:20,318 --> 00:21:21,952
I try to tune them out entirely.
546
00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:23,203
Sometimes I wear earplugs.
547
00:21:23,288 --> 00:21:25,039
That way, I don't get distracted
by what
548
00:21:25,123 --> 00:21:29,860
they're doing, and I can focus
on the awesome acting choices
549
00:21:29,911 --> 00:21:31,194
I've planned ahead of time.
550
00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:32,830
Like eating
a roast beef sandwich, right?
551
00:21:32,881 --> 00:21:35,532
Other choices I can plan
ahead of time:
552
00:21:35,583 --> 00:21:36,834
screaming all my lines!
553
00:21:36,885 --> 00:21:39,036
Because I'm really intense.
554
00:21:39,087 --> 00:21:40,871
And the things
I'm feeling are really intense!
555
00:21:40,922 --> 00:21:42,172
Because I'm an intense actor!
556
00:21:42,223 --> 00:21:43,057
(laughter)
557
00:21:43,141 --> 00:21:45,709
Nicholas Cage, right?!
558
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,378
Yeah, yeah!
Whoo!
559
00:21:49,547 --> 00:21:50,213
Bravo.
560
00:21:51,983 --> 00:21:54,485
All right, guys, I don't want
you to go cray-cray,
561
00:21:54,552 --> 00:21:58,221
but I brought in "sides--"
industry term--
562
00:21:58,273 --> 00:22:01,025
from a little show that
I auditioned for last week...
563
00:22:01,076 --> 00:22:02,392
called NCIS.
564
00:22:02,444 --> 00:22:03,610
What does that stand for?
(students murmuring)
565
00:22:03,695 --> 00:22:05,162
Oh, my nana loves that show!
566
00:22:06,898 --> 00:22:10,451
Now in this scene, Agent Sciuto
has just discovered a dead body.
567
00:22:10,535 --> 00:22:12,235
Who knows what will unfold?
568
00:22:12,287 --> 00:22:13,537
Don't look at each other.
Action.
569
00:22:13,588 --> 00:22:14,738
Here's what we know.
570
00:22:14,806 --> 00:22:16,206
Sergeant Pembroke
took a bullet
571
00:22:16,257 --> 00:22:17,424
at point-blank range.
What we don't know
572
00:22:17,509 --> 00:22:19,043
is why he's wearing a dress.
573
00:22:19,094 --> 00:22:20,511
There's a rumor that Sergeant
Pembroke was a transvestite.
574
00:22:20,578 --> 00:22:21,912
No, Blaine, say
the line again,
575
00:22:21,963 --> 00:22:23,297
but this time,
point your finger.
576
00:22:23,381 --> 00:22:24,915
Things are serious; a
man in a dress is dead.
577
00:22:24,966 --> 00:22:26,100
I don't really
feel like pointing, Coop.
578
00:22:26,184 --> 00:22:27,718
Just feels a little stupid.
579
00:22:27,769 --> 00:22:29,753
Well, when a choice feels wrong,
it's actually a good sign.
580
00:22:29,804 --> 00:22:31,188
It means you're right
on the edge, man.
581
00:22:31,255 --> 00:22:33,023
See, I don't know about that.
I feel like when a choice...
582
00:22:33,091 --> 00:22:34,441
(both arguing)
583
00:22:34,526 --> 00:22:36,193
Coop, you're my brother!
584
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:38,562
Can't you just support me?
585
00:22:40,115 --> 00:22:42,733
I'm sorry, are you
talking to me right now?
586
00:22:42,784 --> 00:22:44,451
Because I can't tell
if you're talking to me
587
00:22:44,536 --> 00:22:46,453
if you don't
point your finger.
588
00:22:46,538 --> 00:22:47,871
Right?
(students murmuring agreement)
589
00:22:47,939 --> 00:22:50,124
That is lesson number one,
guys, right?
590
00:22:50,208 --> 00:22:51,575
Scene. Scene. Scene.
591
00:22:51,626 --> 00:22:52,659
Good work, buddy.
592
00:22:52,744 --> 00:22:53,744
We'll get 'em
next time.
593
00:22:53,795 --> 00:22:55,329
Let's go! Whoo!
Let's move on
594
00:22:55,413 --> 00:22:57,965
to a little acting exercise
that I like to call
595
00:22:58,049 --> 00:22:59,800
The Emotion Tornado.
596
00:22:59,884 --> 00:23:01,218
Get your hands
up to the sky...
597
00:23:02,670 --> 00:23:04,755
Just a busted control
panel, Mrs. Tennison.
598
00:23:04,806 --> 00:23:05,806
Nothing too serious.
599
00:23:05,890 --> 00:23:07,124
You're a lifesaver.
600
00:23:07,175 --> 00:23:08,291
Noah told me
you're going
601
00:23:08,343 --> 00:23:09,343
into business together.
602
00:23:09,427 --> 00:23:11,678
No, I said we were
thinking about it.
603
00:23:11,763 --> 00:23:12,930
Well, I think it's a great idea.
604
00:23:12,981 --> 00:23:14,131
And if you need any investors,
605
00:23:14,182 --> 00:23:16,016
I'd love to be a
silent partner.
606
00:23:16,101 --> 00:23:17,968
Or a noisy one.
607
00:23:22,757 --> 00:23:24,875
In California,
she's considered ugly.
608
00:23:27,078 --> 00:23:29,847
Dude, I'm not going to L.A.
609
00:23:29,914 --> 00:23:31,215
Okay, end of discussion.
610
00:23:31,266 --> 00:23:33,383
Let me just say this,
and I'll shut up forever.
611
00:23:33,435 --> 00:23:35,018
If getting hitched
is a team effort,
612
00:23:35,086 --> 00:23:36,419
why are you the one that's
always giving up everything?
613
00:23:36,471 --> 00:23:37,587
Maybe it's time
for Rachel to start
614
00:23:37,639 --> 00:23:38,605
thinking about you
for a change.
615
00:23:38,690 --> 00:23:39,923
It's not like
you're asking her
616
00:23:39,974 --> 00:23:41,191
to sacrifice her career.
617
00:23:41,259 --> 00:23:42,476
You heard Blaine's
famous brother.
618
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,228
L.A. is where it's at.
619
00:23:44,279 --> 00:23:45,428
Rachel could probably
get on TV,
620
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,763
play the quirky
next-door girl or whatever.
621
00:23:46,815 --> 00:23:48,482
And you could
try acting, too.
622
00:23:48,566 --> 00:23:50,951
Or go to college.
This could be your day job.
623
00:23:51,035 --> 00:23:52,870
You spend so much time
thinking only about her.
624
00:23:52,937 --> 00:23:55,405
Take a couple seconds
and think about yourself.
625
00:23:58,015 --> 00:23:58,015
+
626
00:23:58,927 --> 00:24:00,094
I can barely focus.
627
00:24:00,178 --> 00:24:01,679
The thought of a boy
clinging to my insides
628
00:24:01,746 --> 00:24:03,264
is making me even more nauseous.
629
00:24:03,348 --> 00:24:05,549
Sue, maybe you should wait to
find out the sex of the baby.
630
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,934
Besides, boys aren't
so bad anyway.
631
00:24:07,018 --> 00:24:08,552
They're disgusting.
632
00:24:08,603 --> 00:24:10,137
They have terrible aim when
peeing, they're weak-minded,
633
00:24:10,222 --> 00:24:11,856
and when will someone
give me a straight answer
634
00:24:11,923 --> 00:24:13,023
as to why they have nipples?
635
00:24:13,091 --> 00:24:14,091
Sue Sylvester.
636
00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:18,095
Right this way, please.
637
00:24:20,315 --> 00:24:21,866
I'm sorry,
is this the father?
638
00:24:21,933 --> 00:24:23,117
Uh, no, no.
God, no.
639
00:24:23,201 --> 00:24:25,653
Uh, these are...
these are my friends.
640
00:24:25,737 --> 00:24:26,904
Mm-hmm.
641
00:24:26,955 --> 00:24:28,605
Sounds so weird coming
out of my mouth.
642
00:24:28,657 --> 00:24:30,607
Here for moral support?
Yes, exactly.
643
00:24:30,659 --> 00:24:32,543
Anything you have to say to me,
you can say in front of them.
644
00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:33,911
DOCTOR:
Okay.
645
00:24:33,962 --> 00:24:35,913
Well, looking at
your test results,
646
00:24:35,964 --> 00:24:37,781
your baby is a girl.
647
00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:38,782
Yes!
Ah!
A girl!
648
00:24:38,834 --> 00:24:39,950
Come on, now.
(all laughing)
649
00:24:40,001 --> 00:24:41,085
There we go.
650
00:24:41,136 --> 00:24:42,119
Oh, my toilet
seats are spared.
651
00:24:42,170 --> 00:24:44,454
However...
652
00:24:45,507 --> 00:24:46,891
However?
653
00:24:46,958 --> 00:24:49,960
Your amnio came back
with irregularities.
654
00:24:54,299 --> 00:24:56,100
So, Coop, have you met
George Clooney?
Not yet.
655
00:24:56,151 --> 00:24:57,518
But I have had sex
656
00:24:57,602 --> 00:24:59,737
with the Progressive
Insurance lady.
Perfect.
657
00:24:59,804 --> 00:25:01,021
Don't be a stranger,
all right?
658
00:25:01,106 --> 00:25:02,773
Follow me on Twitter.
All right.
659
00:25:02,824 --> 00:25:03,741
Tweet me.
660
00:25:03,808 --> 00:25:05,826
Yeah!
661
00:25:05,911 --> 00:25:07,528
Ask me why I am
so happy, Squirt.
662
00:25:07,612 --> 00:25:08,779
Don't call me that.
663
00:25:08,830 --> 00:25:10,331
My life just
completely changed.
664
00:25:10,415 --> 00:25:12,666
I just got an audition
for a Michael Bay movie.
665
00:25:12,751 --> 00:25:13,918
Oh, that's great.
666
00:25:13,985 --> 00:25:15,586
Hello? Did you hear me?
Michael freakin' Bay.
667
00:25:15,653 --> 00:25:17,087
The movie's untitled,
668
00:25:17,155 --> 00:25:20,674
which you know is code
for Transformers 4.
669
00:25:20,759 --> 00:25:22,343
You don't seem
very happy for me.
670
00:25:22,427 --> 00:25:23,493
Oh, I'm thrilled.
671
00:25:23,545 --> 00:25:24,962
Well, you got
a weird way of showing it.
672
00:25:25,013 --> 00:25:26,380
It wouldn't
kill you to smile.
673
00:25:26,464 --> 00:25:28,165
Also wouldn't kill you
to stop letting Kurt
674
00:25:28,216 --> 00:25:29,183
pick out your clothes.
675
00:25:29,267 --> 00:25:30,217
He d-does not.
676
00:25:30,302 --> 00:25:31,518
Mm-hmm, could've fooled me.
677
00:25:31,603 --> 00:25:32,887
Come on, man,
we'll have our own ditch day.
678
00:25:32,971 --> 00:25:34,438
You can help me run lines.
679
00:25:34,505 --> 00:25:37,224
It's all about
you, isn't it?
680
00:25:37,309 --> 00:25:40,227
Well, you know what, big
brother, I'm sick of it.
681
00:25:40,312 --> 00:25:42,279
And I'm not going
to take it anymore.
682
00:25:42,347 --> 00:25:43,647
(Christina Aguilera's
"Fighter" playing)
683
00:25:43,698 --> 00:25:45,065
Huh.
684
00:25:45,150 --> 00:25:46,850
♪ After all
you put me through ♪
685
00:25:46,902 --> 00:25:48,519
♪ You think I'd despise you
686
00:25:48,587 --> 00:25:50,037
♪ But in the end
687
00:25:50,121 --> 00:25:51,989
♪ I want to thank you
688
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,707
♪ 'Cause you made me
that much stronger ♪
689
00:25:53,792 --> 00:25:56,043
♪ Well, I thought I knew you
690
00:25:56,127 --> 00:25:58,862
♪ Thinking that you were true
691
00:25:58,914 --> 00:26:01,865
♪ Guess I, I couldn't trust,
called your bluff ♪
692
00:26:01,917 --> 00:26:03,867
♪ Time is up
'cause I've had enough ♪
693
00:26:03,919 --> 00:26:06,203
♪ You were there by my side
694
00:26:06,254 --> 00:26:09,056
♪ Always down for the ride
695
00:26:09,140 --> 00:26:11,809
♪ But your joy ride
just came down in flames ♪
696
00:26:11,876 --> 00:26:14,711
♪ 'Cause your greed sold me out
in shame, mm-hmm ♪
697
00:26:14,763 --> 00:26:16,880
♪ After all of the stealing
and cheating ♪
698
00:26:16,932 --> 00:26:20,851
♪ You probably think
that I hold resentment for you ♪
699
00:26:20,902 --> 00:26:24,855
♪ But uh-uh,
no, no, no, you're wrong ♪
700
00:26:24,906 --> 00:26:27,658
♪ 'Cause if it wasn't for all
that you tried to do ♪
701
00:26:27,725 --> 00:26:32,079
♪ I wouldn't know just how
capable I am to pull through ♪
702
00:26:32,163 --> 00:26:34,531
♪ So I want to say thank you
703
00:26:34,582 --> 00:26:37,167
♪ 'Cause it makes me
that much stronger ♪
704
00:26:37,235 --> 00:26:39,536
♪ Makes me work
a little bit harder ♪
705
00:26:39,587 --> 00:26:42,539
♪ It makes me that much wiser
706
00:26:42,590 --> 00:26:44,908
♪ So thanks for
making me a fighter ♪
707
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,961
♪ Made me learn
a little bit faster ♪
708
00:26:47,045 --> 00:26:50,047
♪ Made my skin
a little bit thicker ♪
709
00:26:50,098 --> 00:26:52,749
♪ Makes me that much smarter
710
00:26:52,801 --> 00:26:55,135
♪ So thanks for making me
a fighter ♪
711
00:26:55,220 --> 00:26:58,105
♪ How could this man
I thought I knew ♪
712
00:26:58,189 --> 00:27:00,757
♪ Turn out to be unjust
so cruel? ♪
713
00:27:00,809 --> 00:27:03,227
♪ Could only see
the good in you ♪
714
00:27:03,278 --> 00:27:05,529
♪ Pretended not to see
the truth ♪
715
00:27:05,596 --> 00:27:08,816
♪ You tried to hide your lies,
disguise yourself ♪
716
00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:10,784
♪ Through living in denial
717
00:27:10,869 --> 00:27:12,736
♪ But in the end, you'll see
718
00:27:12,787 --> 00:27:15,406
♪ You won't stop me
719
00:27:15,457 --> 00:27:18,325
♪ I am a fighter and I
720
00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:20,944
♪ I ain't gonna stop
♪ I ain't gonna stop ♪
721
00:27:20,996 --> 00:27:22,629
♪ There ain't no turning back
722
00:27:22,714 --> 00:27:25,833
♪ I've had enough
723
00:27:25,917 --> 00:27:28,302
♪ Makes me that much stronger ♪
724
00:27:28,386 --> 00:27:31,171
♪ Makes me work
a little bit harder ♪
♪ Oh
725
00:27:31,256 --> 00:27:34,124
♪ Makes me that much wiser ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
726
00:27:34,175 --> 00:27:36,393
♪ Thanks for making me
a fighter ♪
♪ Fighter
727
00:27:36,461 --> 00:27:38,846
♪ Makes me that much stronger ♪
♪ Oh, oh
728
00:27:38,930 --> 00:27:41,315
♪ Makes me work
a little bit harder ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
729
00:27:41,399 --> 00:27:43,650
♪ Makes me that much wiser ♪
♪ Wiser
730
00:27:43,735 --> 00:27:45,819
♪ So thanks for making me
a fighter ♪
731
00:27:45,904 --> 00:27:48,138
♪ Made me learn
a little bit faster ♪
732
00:27:48,189 --> 00:27:50,974
♪ Made my skin
a little bit thicker ♪
733
00:27:51,026 --> 00:27:53,777
♪ Makes me that much smarter
734
00:27:53,828 --> 00:27:56,914
♪ So thanks for making me
a fighter. ♪
735
00:27:56,981 --> 00:27:58,582
(school bell ringing)
736
00:27:58,649 --> 00:28:00,650
Oh! Dude, watch it!
Whoa, sorry.
737
00:28:00,702 --> 00:28:02,036
My toes.
I'm sorry, man.
738
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,620
Hey.
739
00:28:03,671 --> 00:28:05,489
What were you doing?
740
00:28:05,540 --> 00:28:06,590
Uh, texting...
Texting while walking.
741
00:28:06,657 --> 00:28:08,175
That's exactly
how I started.
742
00:28:08,259 --> 00:28:10,010
Well, I don't usually
text while...
Think about it.
743
00:28:10,095 --> 00:28:12,179
You know, luckily enough,
the guy that crashed into me
744
00:28:12,263 --> 00:28:14,431
while I was texting is fine,
but, you know, I...
745
00:28:14,499 --> 00:28:15,482
Okay.
You should really
746
00:28:15,550 --> 00:28:17,000
not do that anymore.
747
00:28:17,052 --> 00:28:18,168
No more texting, okay?
748
00:28:18,219 --> 00:28:19,553
Well, unless
I'm in class
749
00:28:19,637 --> 00:28:21,972
or, you know, on the toilet
or at a movie or something.
750
00:28:22,023 --> 00:28:23,273
Thank you.
751
00:28:23,341 --> 00:28:24,608
What's going on?
752
00:28:24,675 --> 00:28:26,560
Oh, well,
that's funny you're here.
753
00:28:26,644 --> 00:28:28,062
I was just, uh,
754
00:28:28,146 --> 00:28:29,980
confirming the ditch day
amusement park ticket order...
755
00:28:30,031 --> 00:28:31,181
Oh, count us out.
756
00:28:31,232 --> 00:28:32,616
What? Why?
757
00:28:32,683 --> 00:28:35,869
Because we have a super special
senior ditch day planned,
758
00:28:35,954 --> 00:28:36,987
Artie Abrams style.
759
00:28:37,038 --> 00:28:38,288
Isn't that right, Artie?
760
00:28:38,356 --> 00:28:39,490
That's right.
761
00:28:42,504 --> 00:28:42,504
+
762
00:28:45,365 --> 00:28:46,698
(school bell ringing)
763
00:28:46,750 --> 00:28:48,501
Do you think just
because you stand there
764
00:28:48,552 --> 00:28:51,203
quietly mouth breathing and
reeking from this morning's
765
00:28:51,254 --> 00:28:54,340
maple-y toaster pastries that
you're not interrupting me?
766
00:28:54,391 --> 00:28:56,509
What do you want, Jackson?
Spit it out.
767
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,260
I heard about your baby.
768
00:29:01,431 --> 00:29:02,398
You did?
769
00:29:02,482 --> 00:29:03,566
Yeah.
770
00:29:03,650 --> 00:29:06,352
I heard you're having
a baby girl.
771
00:29:06,403 --> 00:29:08,320
Yeah.
772
00:29:08,388 --> 00:29:09,405
Just like you.
773
00:29:09,489 --> 00:29:10,523
Come here.
774
00:29:10,574 --> 00:29:14,126
Just like you.
775
00:29:14,194 --> 00:29:15,528
Dang, Coach.
776
00:29:15,579 --> 00:29:17,229
Don't start lactating.
777
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,865
Can I give you
a parenting tip?
778
00:29:19,916 --> 00:29:22,284
Sure.
779
00:29:22,369 --> 00:29:25,004
Try to work on your patience.
780
00:29:27,207 --> 00:29:30,042
(school bell ringing)
781
00:29:31,261 --> 00:29:33,178
(mechanical whirring)
782
00:29:37,884 --> 00:29:39,418
You gonna tell me
what we're doing here?
783
00:29:39,469 --> 00:29:40,519
Just follow me.
It's up here.
784
00:29:42,755 --> 00:29:44,356
What is this?
785
00:29:44,424 --> 00:29:46,525
This is where we go to play
on Senior Ditch Day.
786
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,694
Or, as I like to call it,
CripSkip.
787
00:29:48,761 --> 00:29:50,145
Artie! What's happening?!
788
00:29:50,230 --> 00:29:51,480
'Sup, Mickey?
789
00:29:51,565 --> 00:29:53,115
I don't think
I'm ready for this.
790
00:29:53,199 --> 00:29:54,950
Yeah, you are.
Just trust me.
791
00:29:55,035 --> 00:29:57,436
♪ Oh, we up, up, up
for the glow show ♪
792
00:29:57,487 --> 00:29:58,770
(shrieking, laughter)
793
00:29:58,822 --> 00:30:00,489
♪ Yeah, we down, down here
on the ground ♪
794
00:30:00,574 --> 00:30:02,658
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up,
up above love ♪
795
00:30:02,742 --> 00:30:04,960
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up
through the clouds ♪
796
00:30:05,045 --> 00:30:08,047
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
797
00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:11,550
Come on, come
on, come on.
798
00:30:11,618 --> 00:30:15,387
♪ You're gonna find a way-ay
799
00:30:15,455 --> 00:30:18,841
♪ Find a way-ay to be
800
00:30:21,227 --> 00:30:24,730
♪ You're gonna get yourself
aligned with your old man ♪
801
00:30:24,797 --> 00:30:26,798
♪ You're gonna get it free
802
00:30:26,850 --> 00:30:28,934
♪ You're gonna
get it free, yeah ♪
803
00:30:28,985 --> 00:30:31,937
♪ 'Cause it's the way-ay-ay
now ♪
804
00:30:31,988 --> 00:30:34,273
♪ Way-ay-ay to see
805
00:30:36,976 --> 00:30:41,580
♪ But it's inside and out
with no doubt ♪
806
00:30:41,648 --> 00:30:45,618
♪ It's in everything,
it's in everything ♪
807
00:30:45,669 --> 00:30:47,536
♪ Oh, we up, up, up
for the glow show ♪
808
00:30:47,621 --> 00:30:49,821
♪ Yeah, we down, down here
on the ground ♪
809
00:30:49,873 --> 00:30:52,041
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up,
up above love ♪
810
00:30:52,125 --> 00:30:54,293
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up
through the clouds ♪
811
00:30:54,344 --> 00:30:57,546
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
812
00:30:57,631 --> 00:31:00,683
♪ You're gonna
find your way-ay ♪
813
00:31:00,767 --> 00:31:02,551
♪ Find your way-ay to be
814
00:31:05,171 --> 00:31:09,942
♪ Hey, you're gonna get yourself
aligned with your spine ♪
815
00:31:10,009 --> 00:31:12,227
♪ And you'll get it free
816
00:31:12,312 --> 00:31:13,529
♪ You'll get it free
817
00:31:13,613 --> 00:31:17,182
♪ It's the way-ay-ay now
818
00:31:17,233 --> 00:31:20,285
♪ Way-ay-ay to see
819
00:31:22,572 --> 00:31:25,857
♪ Well, in the moment,
it comes and it goes ♪
820
00:31:25,909 --> 00:31:28,360
♪ Yeah, it's in everything
821
00:31:28,411 --> 00:31:31,080
♪ It's in everything
822
00:31:31,164 --> 00:31:32,965
♪ We up, up, up
for the glow show ♪
823
00:31:33,032 --> 00:31:34,866
♪ Yeah, we down, down here
on the ground ♪
824
00:31:34,918 --> 00:31:36,502
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up,
up above love ♪
825
00:31:36,553 --> 00:31:39,138
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up
through the clouds ♪
826
00:31:39,205 --> 00:31:42,758
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
827
00:31:42,842 --> 00:31:47,312
♪ Yeah, we up,
yeah, we up ♪
828
00:31:47,380 --> 00:31:48,046
Whoo!
829
00:31:48,098 --> 00:31:51,016
(all screaming)
830
00:31:51,067 --> 00:31:52,651
Whoo!
831
00:31:55,405 --> 00:31:58,223
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
832
00:31:59,743 --> 00:32:02,561
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
833
00:32:04,781 --> 00:32:07,316
♪ Whoo!
834
00:32:07,384 --> 00:32:08,900
(both laugh)
835
00:32:08,952 --> 00:32:10,169
Thank you.
836
00:32:10,236 --> 00:32:12,204
This was a really great
Senior Ditch Day.
837
00:32:12,255 --> 00:32:13,672
You were right.
I just wanted you
838
00:32:13,740 --> 00:32:15,090
to meet a cool
group of people
839
00:32:15,175 --> 00:32:17,909
having a great time in
the same situation as you.
840
00:32:17,961 --> 00:32:21,296
Yeah, but I'm not...
841
00:32:21,381 --> 00:32:22,748
This is only temporary.
842
00:32:22,799 --> 00:32:24,850
The doctor said
it's a matter of time before...
843
00:32:24,917 --> 00:32:26,084
Look, I've been
where you are.
844
00:32:26,136 --> 00:32:27,269
I know how it feels,
845
00:32:27,353 --> 00:32:28,721
but you can't keep denying...
846
00:32:28,772 --> 00:32:30,305
I'm not denying anything.
847
00:32:30,390 --> 00:32:31,640
You're not me.
848
00:32:31,725 --> 00:32:33,091
Okay?
849
00:32:33,143 --> 00:32:35,044
I'm not like you.
This isn't my life.
850
00:32:35,111 --> 00:32:37,429
I'm going to Yale,
I'm getting out of Lima,
851
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,264
and I'm going to walk again.
852
00:32:39,315 --> 00:32:40,616
And what if you don't?
853
00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:42,267
When are you going
to stop pretending
854
00:32:42,318 --> 00:32:44,069
that this isn't really
happening to you?
855
00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:47,757
+
856
00:32:48,826 --> 00:32:50,710
(school bell ringing)
857
00:32:50,795 --> 00:32:52,629
No, no.
858
00:32:52,696 --> 00:32:55,415
Maybe you should
request a lower locker.
859
00:32:55,499 --> 00:32:57,033
Could be easier.
860
00:32:57,084 --> 00:32:59,386
No. This has always
been my locker
861
00:32:59,470 --> 00:33:02,756
and will continue to be
until I walk across that stage
862
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:04,591
in my cap and gown
and get my diploma.
863
00:33:04,675 --> 00:33:06,309
I gotta get to class.
864
00:33:06,377 --> 00:33:07,260
Can I walk with you?
865
00:33:08,429 --> 00:33:09,930
I've been praying for you.
866
00:33:10,014 --> 00:33:13,400
Well, guess it could help for
God to hear from a few people.
867
00:33:13,484 --> 00:33:16,102
I've been praying to walk again,
as well.
868
00:33:16,187 --> 00:33:18,822
Oh, I don't pray
for you to walk.
869
00:33:18,889 --> 00:33:21,274
I ask God to help you accept
whatever your journey may be.
870
00:33:21,359 --> 00:33:24,945
I appreciate your prayers--
I do--
871
00:33:25,029 --> 00:33:26,997
but when you're done praying,
872
00:33:27,064 --> 00:33:29,732
you get to get up off your knees
and walk away.
873
00:33:33,337 --> 00:33:34,788
Sorry.
874
00:33:34,872 --> 00:33:36,873
Self-obsessed bitch.
875
00:33:36,924 --> 00:33:38,208
It's cool.
876
00:33:41,262 --> 00:33:43,246
You know what...
877
00:33:43,297 --> 00:33:44,931
you're really inspiring.
878
00:33:45,016 --> 00:33:47,217
And I feel like you've
been inspiring to a
879
00:33:47,268 --> 00:33:48,635
few other people I know.
880
00:33:48,719 --> 00:33:50,053
What are you doing after school
today?
881
00:33:50,104 --> 00:33:51,471
(whistle blows)
882
00:33:51,555 --> 00:33:54,190
All right, fair warning:
in the glorious history of
883
00:33:54,258 --> 00:33:56,192
Booty Camp,
this will be the toughest!
884
00:33:56,260 --> 00:33:57,811
But first, Quinn's
got the floor.
885
00:33:57,895 --> 00:33:59,562
I invited a friend to join us.
886
00:33:59,613 --> 00:34:01,197
You met him on Valentine's Day.
887
00:34:01,265 --> 00:34:03,483
Teen Jesus!
QUINN: He's got a killer voice.
888
00:34:03,567 --> 00:34:05,535
Whoo!
Okay, all right.
889
00:34:05,602 --> 00:34:07,270
Welcome to the New Directions.
890
00:34:07,321 --> 00:34:09,322
Hey, dude, you have
a twig in your hair.
891
00:34:09,407 --> 00:34:10,457
No, seriously.
892
00:34:10,541 --> 00:34:13,209
WILL: Okay.
Thanks, bro.
893
00:34:13,277 --> 00:34:15,078
Let's give our undivided
attention to Coach Sue.
894
00:34:16,464 --> 00:34:19,666
First off, please don't ask me
which celebrity is the father
895
00:34:19,750 --> 00:34:21,301
of my baby. Please.
896
00:34:21,385 --> 00:34:23,953
I will release that information
once I've finalized my book
897
00:34:24,005 --> 00:34:25,305
and movie deal.
898
00:34:25,389 --> 00:34:28,391
Now, it has come to my attention
that I have been a tad
899
00:34:28,459 --> 00:34:31,144
harsh with some of you.
900
00:34:31,228 --> 00:34:33,013
I thought I was being kind.
901
00:34:33,097 --> 00:34:35,515
For instance,
I said absolutely nothing
902
00:34:35,599 --> 00:34:37,851
about the implausible
sexual tension
903
00:34:37,935 --> 00:34:39,986
between Mercedes and the
Kentucky Fried Stripper.
904
00:34:40,071 --> 00:34:43,139
Or the sorry fact that you
wasted untold millions
905
00:34:43,190 --> 00:34:46,159
on a laser show for yourselves
just so Sandbags could dance
906
00:34:46,243 --> 00:34:48,194
with the night school's
Polynesian janitor.
907
00:34:48,279 --> 00:34:49,829
Actually, he was
Puerto Rican.
908
00:34:49,914 --> 00:34:53,033
Kids, it's in my DNA
to be intense, okay,
909
00:34:53,117 --> 00:34:56,002
just like it's in Porcelain's
DNA to poop rainbow glitter.
910
00:34:56,087 --> 00:34:58,755
Now, I'll admit
I-I behaved badly.
911
00:34:58,822 --> 00:35:00,590
I also realized something.
912
00:35:00,657 --> 00:35:03,877
I am here
for two very important reasons.
913
00:35:03,961 --> 00:35:06,329
Number one: Mr. Schuester needs
at least one adult friend.
914
00:35:06,380 --> 00:35:08,098
And number two:
915
00:35:08,165 --> 00:35:12,685
I am hoping that the miraculous
life growing inside of me
916
00:35:12,770 --> 00:35:17,057
can soak up some of your
constantly annoying,
917
00:35:17,141 --> 00:35:21,861
though admittedly laudable,
optimism and decency.
918
00:35:25,699 --> 00:35:27,150
Now, I promise to be nicer
919
00:35:27,201 --> 00:35:30,236
if you promise to work your
talented little butts off
920
00:35:30,321 --> 00:35:32,705
until they hand you that
first-place trophy in Chicago.
921
00:35:32,790 --> 00:35:34,657
All right, sloppy babies,
922
00:35:34,708 --> 00:35:37,160
let's take it from the top.
923
00:35:37,211 --> 00:35:39,162
Five, six, seven, eight!
924
00:35:39,213 --> 00:35:40,196
(whistle blows)
(bell ringing)
925
00:35:40,247 --> 00:35:42,365
Hello.
926
00:35:42,416 --> 00:35:44,751
I'm Margaret Thatcher Dog.
927
00:35:44,835 --> 00:35:47,637
My relationship with
the Queen was ruff!
928
00:35:47,704 --> 00:35:48,972
(chuckling)
929
00:35:49,039 --> 00:35:50,807
Oh, look what Finn won
you playing skeeball.
930
00:35:50,874 --> 00:35:52,375
Finn won this?
931
00:35:52,426 --> 00:35:54,344
Yeah. Well, Rachel kept making
him win stuffed animals for her,
932
00:35:54,395 --> 00:35:56,646
and at the end of the
day, out of the 14
933
00:35:56,713 --> 00:36:00,016
she had, I confiscated this
little guy to give to you.
934
00:36:00,067 --> 00:36:02,268
Since there
was no convincing
you coming with us.
935
00:36:02,353 --> 00:36:04,737
I would've just
brought you guys down.
936
00:36:04,822 --> 00:36:08,108
Look, I get it:
family stuff is hard,
937
00:36:08,192 --> 00:36:09,492
especially between brothers.
938
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,945
I mean, Finn and I
are not even real brothers,
939
00:36:12,029 --> 00:36:13,863
and we pretty much
disagree on everything,
940
00:36:13,914 --> 00:36:15,731
but I love the big lug.
941
00:36:15,783 --> 00:36:19,252
And at the end of the day,
we're in each other's corners.
942
00:36:19,336 --> 00:36:21,171
You only get one
brother, Blaine.
943
00:36:21,238 --> 00:36:22,288
Don't give up on that.
944
00:36:22,373 --> 00:36:23,623
He's the one that's leaving.
945
00:36:23,707 --> 00:36:25,074
Huge audition,
you didn't hear about it?
946
00:36:25,126 --> 00:36:26,909
Actually, he hasn't left yet.
947
00:36:26,961 --> 00:36:28,845
He's in the auditorium,
948
00:36:28,912 --> 00:36:30,413
hoping that you'll come
and talk to him.
949
00:36:30,464 --> 00:36:32,348
I've tried talking to him.
950
00:36:32,416 --> 00:36:34,250
Doesn't... doesn't really
work with him.
951
00:36:34,301 --> 00:36:36,719
Maybe talking is not the answer.
952
00:36:36,770 --> 00:36:38,721
Maybe you need
to show him
953
00:36:38,772 --> 00:36:43,059
how you really feel in the best,
most honest way you know how.
954
00:36:48,866 --> 00:36:51,651
(Gotye's "Somebody That I Used
To Know" intro playing)
955
00:36:55,706 --> 00:37:00,776
♪ Now and then I think of
when we were together ♪
956
00:37:02,830 --> 00:37:08,985
♪ Like when you said you felt
so happy, you could die ♪
957
00:37:11,121 --> 00:37:14,257
♪ So when we found
that we could not make sense ♪
958
00:37:14,308 --> 00:37:17,627
♪ Well, you said that we would
still be friends ♪
959
00:37:17,695 --> 00:37:22,081
♪ But I'll admit that I was glad
it was over ♪
960
00:37:25,402 --> 00:37:28,988
♪ But you didn't have
to cut me off ♪
961
00:37:29,073 --> 00:37:31,191
♪ Make out like
it never happened ♪
962
00:37:31,275 --> 00:37:32,942
♪ And that we were nothing
963
00:37:32,993 --> 00:37:35,995
♪ And I don't even
need your love ♪
964
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,947
♪ But you treat me
like a stranger ♪
965
00:37:38,015 --> 00:37:39,365
♪ And that feels so rough
966
00:37:39,450 --> 00:37:43,670
♪ No, you didn't have
to stoop so low ♪
967
00:37:43,754 --> 00:37:46,005
♪ Have your friends
collect your records ♪
968
00:37:46,090 --> 00:37:48,157
♪ And then change your number
969
00:37:48,209 --> 00:37:51,160
♪ Guess that
I don't need that though ♪
970
00:37:51,212 --> 00:37:54,430
♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪
971
00:37:59,169 --> 00:38:04,774
♪ Now and then I think of all
the times you screwed me over ♪
972
00:38:04,841 --> 00:38:11,281
♪ But had me believing it was
always something that I'd done ♪
973
00:38:13,684 --> 00:38:17,687
♪ But I don't wanna
live that way ♪
974
00:38:17,738 --> 00:38:21,291
♪ Reading into every word
you say ♪
975
00:38:21,358 --> 00:38:23,526
♪ You said that
you could let it go ♪
976
00:38:23,577 --> 00:38:26,362
♪ And I wouldn't
catch you hung up ♪
977
00:38:26,413 --> 00:38:28,881
♪ On somebody
that you used to know ♪
978
00:38:28,966 --> 00:38:32,034
♪ But you didn't have
to cut me off ♪
979
00:38:32,086 --> 00:38:33,970
♪ Make out like
it never happened ♪
980
00:38:34,037 --> 00:38:36,422
♪ Oh...
♪ And that we were nothing
981
00:38:36,507 --> 00:38:39,375
♪ And I don't even
need your love ♪
982
00:38:39,426 --> 00:38:40,810
♪ But you treat me
like a stranger ♪
983
00:38:40,877 --> 00:38:42,812
♪ And that feels so rough
984
00:38:42,879 --> 00:38:46,482
♪ Oh...
♪ No, you didn't have
to stoop so low ♪
985
00:38:46,550 --> 00:38:49,352
♪ Have your friends
collect your records ♪
986
00:38:49,403 --> 00:38:51,904
♪ Oh...
♪ And then change your number
987
00:38:51,989 --> 00:38:54,741
♪ Guess that
I don't need that though ♪
988
00:38:54,825 --> 00:38:57,527
♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪
989
00:38:57,578 --> 00:38:59,495
♪ Somebody
990
00:38:59,563 --> 00:39:01,731
♪ That I used to know
991
00:39:01,782 --> 00:39:05,234
♪ Somebody
♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪
992
00:39:05,286 --> 00:39:06,669
♪ Somebody
993
00:39:06,737 --> 00:39:08,588
♪ That I used to know
994
00:39:08,672 --> 00:39:12,675
♪ Somebody
Now you're just somedy
that I used to know ♪
995
00:39:12,743 --> 00:39:14,076
♪ Ooh
996
00:39:14,128 --> 00:39:16,296
♪ I used to know
997
00:39:16,380 --> 00:39:20,083
♪ Somebody.
998
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:21,467
(song ends)
999
00:39:21,552 --> 00:39:23,753
Best you've
ever sounded.
1000
00:39:23,804 --> 00:39:26,189
I am tough on you.
1001
00:39:26,256 --> 00:39:29,525
This week, maybe, a little
tougher than I should've been,
1002
00:39:29,593 --> 00:39:31,794
and I need to apologize
for that.
1003
00:39:31,862 --> 00:39:35,448
But it's only because I see--
1004
00:39:35,532 --> 00:39:37,283
I've always seen--
1005
00:39:37,368 --> 00:39:40,203
how insanely talented you are.
1006
00:39:40,270 --> 00:39:43,239
I want you to be as successful
as you can be, Blaine,
1007
00:39:43,290 --> 00:39:44,240
and you will be.
1008
00:39:44,291 --> 00:39:45,458
You're gonna do it all--
1009
00:39:45,542 --> 00:39:49,579
movies, concerts...
Broadway.
1010
00:39:49,630 --> 00:39:51,714
Even though it's dead?
1011
00:39:51,782 --> 00:39:53,216
You'll resurrect it.
1012
00:39:53,283 --> 00:39:55,718
And when I'm in the audience,
watching you,
1013
00:39:55,786 --> 00:39:58,120
I want to be able to say,
"That's my kid brother up there.
1014
00:39:58,172 --> 00:40:00,556
I helped him get there."
1015
00:40:00,624 --> 00:40:02,175
Thanks for saying that, Coop.
1016
00:40:02,259 --> 00:40:05,144
And I know you really
mean it, too, because
1017
00:40:05,229 --> 00:40:08,014
you weren't pointing
your finger at me or...
Okay, okay.
1018
00:40:08,098 --> 00:40:11,434
(shouting): speaking
really loudly
1019
00:40:11,485 --> 00:40:13,102
(laughing)
to be intense.
1020
00:40:13,153 --> 00:40:15,772
I'm really glad we
could sing together
1021
00:40:15,823 --> 00:40:17,640
one last time
before you left
1022
00:40:17,691 --> 00:40:18,908
to be Mr. Hollywood.
1023
00:40:18,975 --> 00:40:21,577
Actually, my audition
got canceled.
1024
00:40:21,645 --> 00:40:24,864
What?
I don't know.
Apparently, Michael Bay
1025
00:40:24,948 --> 00:40:27,149
just decided to go
in a different direction,
1026
00:40:27,201 --> 00:40:28,868
which is industry-speak
1027
00:40:28,952 --> 00:40:30,286
for "Thanks, but we found
1028
00:40:30,337 --> 00:40:32,171
somebody who's better
and/or hotter."
1029
00:40:32,256 --> 00:40:34,257
Okay, first of all,
y-you don't know that.
1030
00:40:34,324 --> 00:40:38,010
And second of all,
screw Optimus Prime.
1031
00:40:38,095 --> 00:40:40,546
Even though we don't live
in the same town,
1032
00:40:40,631 --> 00:40:43,833
and we don't see
each other all the time,
1033
00:40:43,884 --> 00:40:45,668
we're not just
brothers, right?
1034
00:40:48,055 --> 00:40:50,106
We're friends, too?
1035
00:40:50,174 --> 00:40:55,194
That's... exactly what I've
always wanted us to be, Coop.
1036
00:41:00,734 --> 00:41:02,685
Hold on a second.
I just, uh,
1037
00:41:02,736 --> 00:41:04,687
I want to remember
this emotion
1038
00:41:04,738 --> 00:41:07,039
so I can use it
in a scene someday.
1039
00:41:07,124 --> 00:41:08,040
You are ridiculous.
1040
00:41:08,125 --> 00:41:09,792
You never know, right?
1041
00:41:09,860 --> 00:41:11,794
Hey, I want to,
I want to help you.
1042
00:41:11,862 --> 00:41:13,296
I don't want you
to give up on this audition.
1043
00:41:13,363 --> 00:41:15,248
Come on, I got an idea.
Where are we going?
1044
00:41:15,332 --> 00:41:19,201
We are going to put you on tape
so Michael Bay can see
1045
00:41:19,253 --> 00:41:21,087
what real acting is.
1046
00:41:21,171 --> 00:41:22,088
Pointing.
1047
00:41:22,172 --> 00:41:23,172
Nice touch.
1048
00:41:23,223 --> 00:41:25,308
See, I believe that.
1049
00:41:25,375 --> 00:41:27,059
That's why it's
lesson number one.
1050
00:41:27,144 --> 00:41:28,644
(bell ringing)
Hey.
1051
00:41:28,712 --> 00:41:30,680
So how do you think I did
in Cooper's Master class?
1052
00:41:30,731 --> 00:41:34,383
You made it seem like you
discover dead bodies every day.
1053
00:41:34,435 --> 00:41:36,452
If that was a real part,
you would've got it.
1054
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,771
(sighs) So the NYADA scout
is gonna be hereoon.
1055
00:41:38,856 --> 00:41:41,607
I'm pretty sure
I'm ready for it.
1056
00:41:41,692 --> 00:41:45,027
Have you ever thought about
what I'm gonna do in New York?
1057
00:41:45,078 --> 00:41:48,397
Well, one thing I know
is for certain is, we'll
figure it out together.
1058
00:41:48,449 --> 00:41:49,916
Well, that's really nice,
1059
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,869
but I... I feel like I need
to start thinking seriously
1060
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:54,620
about what's next for me.
1061
00:41:54,705 --> 00:41:56,071
You ever thought
about California?
1062
00:41:56,123 --> 00:41:57,406
I just, I feel
like there's,
1063
00:41:57,458 --> 00:41:59,792
there's so many more
opportunities for me there.
1064
00:41:59,877 --> 00:42:03,346
And Puck, he's got this
really great pool-cleaning
business opportunity.
1065
00:42:03,413 --> 00:42:05,348
And you could audition
for your actor jobs
1066
00:42:05,415 --> 00:42:07,934
and you wouldn't even have
to worry about money,
1067
00:42:08,018 --> 00:42:09,585
because I'd be able
to support you
1068
00:42:09,636 --> 00:42:11,687
you know, as... as
your husband and...
Finn...
1069
00:42:11,755 --> 00:42:13,589
what are you doing?
1070
00:42:13,657 --> 00:42:15,107
Well, I'm thinking
about my future.
1071
00:42:15,192 --> 00:42:18,027
I thought it was our future.
1072
00:42:18,094 --> 00:42:19,479
Of course. Of course, it is
1073
00:42:19,563 --> 00:42:20,780
our future,
And...
1074
00:42:20,864 --> 00:42:22,398
but it feels like
1075
00:42:22,449 --> 00:42:24,283
the conversation's
been a little...
1076
00:42:24,368 --> 00:42:25,651
one-sided lately.
1077
00:42:27,287 --> 00:42:28,955
Look, even Blaine's
brother said
1078
00:42:29,039 --> 00:42:30,573
you know, Hollywood is where
you want to go
No, I'm not...
1079
00:42:30,624 --> 00:42:31,941
if you want
to be famous
I'm not...
1080
00:42:31,992 --> 00:42:34,377
as an actress.
a Hollywood
actress, okay?
1081
00:42:34,444 --> 00:42:36,712
In New York, New York
is about the work that you do
1082
00:42:36,780 --> 00:42:38,714
and not the work
that you've had done.
1083
00:42:38,782 --> 00:42:41,000
There's no other option
here for me, okay?
1084
00:42:41,084 --> 00:42:42,134
I am Broadway bound.
Right,
1085
00:42:42,219 --> 00:42:43,803
but if I'm going to
be your husband,
1086
00:42:43,887 --> 00:42:45,221
shouldn't I have
something to say
about it, too?
"If"?
1087
00:42:45,288 --> 00:42:47,056
Just seems like you don't
care about my dreams.
1088
00:42:47,123 --> 00:42:48,007
I care.
Of course I care.
1089
00:42:48,091 --> 00:42:49,392
Right, of course you care
1090
00:42:49,459 --> 00:42:51,060
as long as they don't
interfere with yours.
1091
00:42:51,127 --> 00:42:52,595
Look, I need to
be in New York,
1092
00:42:52,646 --> 00:42:53,829
and I need you with me.
1093
00:42:53,897 --> 00:42:56,599
I can't do this without you.
1094
00:42:56,650 --> 00:42:59,602
I just want you
to be really sure.
1095
00:42:59,653 --> 00:43:01,237
I just want you to
be really sure
1096
00:43:01,304 --> 00:43:02,471
that you're in
love with me
1097
00:43:02,523 --> 00:43:03,856
and not who you
want me to be.
1098
00:43:03,857 --> 00:43:10,652
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