So here's what you missed last week....
Emma and Ken are getting married...
...though it seems she really likes Will...
If we were gonna rate crush-worthy teachers at this school...
...you'd be number one with a bullet.
Which Ken kinda noticed...
...which makes him really NOT like Will.
You and I... the whole world knows that I'm just a...
...consolation prize to you...
How do you think that makes me feel?
Also, Terri said she's pregnant, wow.
But really, she's faking and Mr. Schuster doesn't know.
This baby's the only reason he's still here.
Will's busy getting the kids ready for sectionals
Where they're up against a school for the deaf...
I can't hear you. Talk into this ear. Scarlet fever.
You're on!
...And a group of juvie girls.
Aphasia, give Mr. Schuster his wallet back.
But it turns out both of them are really good.
It's like cool epilepsy. Also, Sue kicked Quinn out
Of the cheerios because she's pregnant.
I can't have a pregnant girl on my squad.
You're a disgrace.
It's not very nice, but neither is Sue.
Those drinks are crap!
And that's what you missed on... ~~ Glee. ~~
Hey, guys. Mind if I join you?
So, what's with all the primping?
Yearbook pictures.
This is the 50th edition
Of the McKinley high school Thunderclap.
I'm going to drop 20 pounds by Friday,
Look smoking hot for that photo,
And be down to a trim 210 for the wedding a week Saturday.
Emma: Of course, the wedding
Was going to be in Hawaii, but then they told me
I couldn't bring my own fruit, so...
But, sectionals is a week from Saturday.
Oh, man.
Looks like you won't be able to make it, Eminem.
I, um, I totally forgot about sectionals.
I'm-I'm sorry. I wanted to go.
For the kids.
We're not rescheduling.
The vfw hall is booked till next June.
The only reason this Saturday is available
Is 'cause it's the one year anniversary
Of that grisly fish fry shoot-out.
I got a monster discount.
We just got to be out of there before the candlelight vigil.
Emma: I remember.
Oh, my gosh.
Sue?
Did someone finally punch you?
Edie.
Wiliam. You.
Every year, when the photos for the thunderclap
Come around, I always elect to have a little work done.
This year, I got myself a bit of an eye lift.
And while they were in there,
I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts.
Wasn't using them.
You know, I got a storage unit
Full of trophies and medallions.
But, for the rest of you educators,
These yearbook pictures
Are really the only concrete proof you have
That anything you've done
In your sorry little lives
Has made any difference whatsoever.
(slurping)
My cheerios are so excited.
Got them on a yam diet.
It draws the water out of the skin.
Well, I'm sure my glee kids are going to be excited, too.
Well, glee kids don't get a photo.
What? Why is that?
Well, I just had a meeting with principal Figgins, Eleanor,
And what with all the vandalism
Of the glee club photos over the years,
I convinced him that putting the glee kids
In this year's thunderclap was subjecting the little freaks
To more humiliation
And ridicule.
Why can't you just accept the fact that my kids
Are going to take sectionals this year?
That's not happening.
And stop with the pointless vendetta.
Emma: Right.
This is so not fair, Sue.
You know, I'm going to talk to Figgins about this.
Hey, good luck with that.
You know, you three are boring me now.
I'm going to go do something else.
(groans)
Where's Rachel?
She's not here yet.
Perfect.
Glee club stands on a delicate precipice.
We have all felt the cold
Humiliation of a slushie in the face.
But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club
Shields us from more severe persecution--
Swirlies.
Patriotic wedgies.
What's a patriotic wedgie?
It's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies.
Strangely, it did make me feel more American.
Based on my investigation,
I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo
Would only fuel the flames of anti-glee-club terror.
I've done a little library research.
Peter gellar. Glee club second tenor, 1998.
He can be seen here with both
A drawn on Hitler mustache and rice paddy hat.
Shortly after the yearbook came out,
Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown.
He is now the homeless man
Who sleeps in front of the public library.
Patches?
Patches.
He barks at my mom.
Kurt: Exhibit b.
Tawny Peterson. Glee club class of 2000.
Seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head,
In a macabre tableau that, in four years,
Would prove eerily prescient.
I think I speak for all of us when I say
That not having to pose for a yearbook photo
Might be a blessing in disguise.
I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling.
Will: Oh, hey, guys.
Ah. Looking at old thunderclaps?
It's really unsettling.
And totally unfair.
Hey, can I borrow one of these?
You know what? This year's thunderclap
Is going to have a glee club photo with every one
Of your smiling faces.
You have my word on it.
Sync by honeybunny - www.addic7ed.com ReSync'd for 720p, caps and other fancy stuff by WheezerTheGeezer
Shue, I'm doing the glee club a solid.
We're denying the opportunity to other children
To further humiliate them.
No, no, no. Those kids get up on stage all the time,
No matter what anyone thinks of them,
And they perform.
They don't let anyone or anything get to them.
That's something you should encourage.
Sue is wrong!
Fine. I'll give them a photo.
Thank you.
For $1,000.
What?
That's what is costs.
The yearbook is prime advertising space, Shue.
Frederickson's funeral parlor
Experienced a 1.3% increase in revenue
After their full page ad last year in the thunderclap.
Okay, um...
What about a quarter page?
How much does that cost?
(sighs)
$325.
That will buy you enough space for a photo
Of two members of the glee club.
Right below the advertisement
For Uncle Sandro's chicken inside of a waffle.
Figgins, that's a lot of money.
It's a compromise, Shue.
Now, I suggest you select a good-looking cheerleader--
Not the pregnant one--
And the quarterback for the photo
As their faces are less likely
To be scratched out with safety pins.
Mr. Schuster, I'm very sorry to interrupt.
Principal Figgins,
As you very well may know, this is my first year
In glee club and I've just been informed
That new directions has not been afforded a yearbook photo.
As you might expect, my two gay dads
Have a very close relationship with our local branch
Of the aclu and if it's up to me...
Beat you to the punch, Rachel.
It's all good.
We're in the yearbook.
Oh. Fantastic.
Thank you so much.
Rachel: Make fun of me all you want,
But school pictures are everything to me.
They're great practice for getting photographed
By the paparazzi.
Invasive as the press may be,
Stars are dependent on them for their fame,
And I feel I must be prepared.
In order to do so, I join every club I possibly can.
Know you're thinking that I'm just joining all of these clubs
To give off the appearance that I'm involved, known to exist,
But glee club is different.
I really love glee
And I believe in what we stand for.
We've come from behind,
Dismissed and ridiculed by everyone,
And we've made something of ourselves,
Something that I'm proud to be a part of,
Something I want to be remembered for.
(giggling)
Oh, that's got the whole flag.
Quinn: I miss my cheerios uniform.
Made me feel safe.
Contained.
Even when I was feeling left out,
At least I looked like I was a part of something.
I want my kids to be able to look back at these books
And see who I was,
Make them proud.
Not the bastard one I'm carrying now, of course,
The ones I'll have when I'm married and ready.
I might not look like the head cheerleader anymore,
But I'm still her on the inside.
I'm done playing the victim.
When that cheerleading picture is taken for the yearbook,
I'm going to be in it and back on the squad,
Whether Sue Sylvester likes it or not.
Hey, baby. Which one of these ties goes better with my shirt?
You're blocking the tv, Will.
Oh, come on. I need your help.
School pictures are coming up.
Oh. Well, in that case, um...
Wear the red one for the teacher photo
And the green one for the glee club.
Okay.
It'll pop more when the cool kids deface it.
Yeah. I, uh...
I wanted to talk to you about that.
So, Figgins stopped putting the glee club photo in the yearbook
Because it always gets vandalized,
And I just feel so bad for the kids.
I mean, they work so hard. They deserve to be recognized.
Not being in that book gives the appearance
That glee club isn't important.
(sighs)
I want to buy an ad and use it as the glee club photo spread.
It's around $300.
Oh, great.
Yeah, why don't you take the food
Out of the refrigerator and just give that to the kids?
Will, that food goes from my mouth
Right into our baby's belly.
We have a couple hundred bucks left over
From selling the blue bomber ii.
The answer's no, Will. No.
But if we... No!
No. No.
(sighs)
Actually, can you wait to cash that until Thursday?
(sighs)
(bell ringing)
(playing scales)
Kurt, I have a fantastic idea for a club
That would officially make me the most involved student
In the whole school.
I want us to start a gaylesball.
I'm sorry?
The gay-lesbian alliance.
Gay-lesb-all.
Hey, guys!
Great news!
Glee club gets a photo in the thunderclap.
(murmuring unenthusiastically) yep.
It's going to show everyone at the school
That glee club is on its way up.
When we win regionals,
Those claps are going to be collector's items.
I mean, all of your classmates are going to be
Begging for your autographs.
(halfhearted cheering)
But I had to compromise to do it.
Um, we only get a quarter page in back.
Which means we have to pick two team captains
To appear in the photo.
So, tomorrow we're going to put it to a vote.
Exciting, huh?
All right.
(bell ringing)
Well, we're all here. I guess we should vote.
With your permission,
I have prepared a few words.
I nominate Rachel. Second.
All right, let's vote up in this piece.
I gotta go hit the gym and load up the guns of Puckerone
For the football picture.
Looks like everybody voted for Rachel.
Including Rachel.
But we need two captains, guys.
Why two?
We're fine with having Rachel represent us
In the thunderclap by herself.
We'd actually prefer it.
(bell ringing)
Will: The worst part is
That after all this time,
They're still embarrassed to be in glee club.
I mean, they still see themselves as losers.
To step up and become co-captain.
Well, maybe you should let them use the captain
They already elected.
You know, sometimes sound a lot different coming from a peer.
Even if that peer is an annoying as Rachel.
You know,
None of this is going to matter if they win at sectionals.
I'm really sorry I can't be there.
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.
I-I kind of think Ken scheduled your wedding
The same day on purpose.
You know,
So... So you couldn't go.
Why would he do that?
Come on.
We both know how he feels about our... Relationship.
I'm marrying Ken, Will.
Look, I know that I've...
I've definitely given him reason in the past
To be jealous, but I need you to know
That I'm done with that now.
Ken has a lot of flaws.
He has 74 flaws as of yesterday, but, you know what,
He is not vindictive.
He's actually a very good man.
He is kind and he's great with the students here at McKinley.
We have that in common.
And yes, it's true, his hygiene could be a lot better,
But he is absolutely full of compassion
And... Well, that is why I'm marrying him.
You're right.
I was out of line.
It won't happen again.
(bell ringing)
You wanted to see me, Mr. Shue?
Oh, yeah, Rach.
Sit down.
So, how's the new captaincy going?
I think that my unanimous election
Gave me a very strong mandate to shake things up.
Great. Well,
I have a job for you, captain.
We need a co-captain.
You have so many great ideas,
No reason you shouldn't have some help
Pushing them through.
I could use a trusty lieutenant.
I do have over 65 proposals.
So, can I count on you?
No problem.
I'm on it.
Um, I can't be co-captain. No time. Kwanza.
Kwanza's late December, Mercedes.
The photo's this Thursday.
Yeah, prepping early this year.
("You Might Think" by the Cars playing)
I'd love to be in the photo, Rachel,
But you'd be standing and I'd be sitting
And it would throw off the whole composition.
I'll lean over.
But if you lean over...
It will look like you have stomach rolls.
On second thought,
I don't think that you're leadership material, Artie.
Follower.
Brittany, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No way. Why not?
Because I don't want to be in a picture with you.
It'll get defaced.
No, it won't. Yes, it will.
I'll be the one doing it.
Rachel: I'm desperate.
Glee club needs you, Finn.
I'm totally honored you asked me,
But don't you think you should pick somebody
Who, like, cares more?
Not that I don't,
But I just have football and friends and stuff.
Glee club only started working after you joined.
Face it, we wouldn't have all of the cheerleaders
And football players in the club
If it wasn't for you.
You know I love glee club.
I just don't know why I have to represent it.
Because you're a leader, Finn.
And that's what leaders do.
They stick their necks out for people that they care about.
There are stakes here.
Morale is low, you know it.
If things don't change,
We're not even going to place at sectionals.
And then the club is over.
I can't do this alone.
You don't have to.
I am a leader.
That's who I am, who I want to be.
You got yourself a co-captain.
I'll do the picture with you.
I totally understand that as captain of the football team,
You've worked really hard to project an appearance
Of steely toughness, but glee club is different.
We have to present the appearance
Of positivity and optimism.
So... We're gonna practice,
And I'm going to teach you
How to smile correctly for your photo.
("Smile" begins playing)
~~ when you first left me, I was wanting more ~~
~~ you were kissing that girl next door ~~
~~ what'd you do that for? ~~ ~~ what'd you do that for? ~~
~~ when you first left me ~~
Both: ~~ I didn't know what to say ~~
~~ I never been on my own that way ~~ ~~ own that way ~~
~~ just sat by myself all day ~~ ~~ myself all day ~~
~~ I was so lost back then ~~ ~~ ah... ~~
~~ but with a little help from my friends ~~
~~ I found a light in the tunnel at the end ~~
~~ ah... ~~ ~~ and now you're calling me up on the phone ~~
~~ so you can have a little whine and a moan ~~ ~~ ah... ~~
~~ and it's only because you're feeling alone ~~ ~~ ah... ~~
~~ at first, when I see you cry... ~~
~~ it makes me smile ~~
~~ yeah, it makes me smile ~~
~~ at worst I feel bad for a while ~~
~~ but then I just smile ~~
~~ I go ahead and smile ~~
~~ la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la ~~
~~ la-la-la ~~
~~ at first when I see you cry ~~
~~ see you cry ~~
~~ it makes me smile ~~ ~~ makes me smile ~~
~~ yeah, it makes me smile ~~ ~~ yeah, it makes me smile ~~
~~ at worst I feel bad for a while ~~
~~ feel bad for a while ~~ ~~ but then I just smile ~~
~~ I go ahead and smile ~~ ~~ smile ~~
~~ go ahead and smile. ~~
(Rachel giggling, fades)
What the hell?!
Hey, man, shh, we're practicing, dude. Chill out.
We heard you're going to be in the glee club photo,
And we don't want to mess up messing it up.
Screw you, Karofsky!
I'm sick of you pulling people down.
Hey, man, don't talk that kum-bah-yay-yah crap.
All right, you know the system's put in place
To keep order around here.
You know what, I'm gonna give you some options, okay?
Do you want me to put the Hitler mustache
On your glee club picture, or you want the buck teeth
On your glee club picture? Which one do you want?
It don't matter to me either way.
I'll put... (grunts)
Hey, how do you spell "loser"?
I'm gonna write it on his forehead.
His big ol' potato head.
You could write a whole haiku on that thing.
(bell rings)
Can we shake a leg here?
Fine.
I'm ready.
I'll... Do it myself.
(shutter clicks) wait, I...
I insist on only being shot from my left side.
Yeah, I kind of need to see your teeth.
It's sort of my job here.
I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm upset.
My co-captain bailed and it just...
I'm sorry, I just need a minute.
Rachel: Snap out of this.
Stop being defined by what other people think of you,
Or how they disappoint you.
It's lonely at the top, you know that.
What's that song about overcoming
Professional and personal disappointments?
Oh, yeah.
~~ when you're smiling, when you're smiling ~~
~~ the whole world smiles with you. ~~
I'm ready.
Great.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
That-that's it?
I practiced over 18 different poses
For this shoot, and I haven't even shown you
Any of my over the left shoulder pose. See?
Sorry, kid, I got to blow.
I got a casting session in half an hour.
A... A casting session for what?
My brother-in-law is shooting a commercial for his store.
I'm directing it.
I just do these school photos for the money.
(sobbing)
Uh, uh, okay.
Wait, no, don't...
I can take a couple more pictures for you.
I can cry on demand.
It's one of my many talents.
I'm very versatile,
And aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals,
I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business.
We-well, you certainly seem talented and all,
But I need...
There's other speaking parts in this thing.
I need, like, a bunch of other actors, too.
I can help with that.
I'd like to call this meeting to order.
Oh, hello, Finn.
How nice of you to show.
Finn: Look, I'm sorry.
The guys were harassing me
In the locker room about it.
They said that if I took the glee club photo,
That they'd make me choose between an Hitler mustache
Or buck teeth, and I can't rock either of those looks.
Do you think I have a potato head?
Rachel: Okay, look, I realize now
That all of you think that glee club is just a joke.
Okay, and you're convinced
That we can't win, and you're content to just sit idle by
Until Figgins cancels the club.
Well,
I'm about to present to you a rare opportunity.
The opportunity to become stars.
How?
We've all been cast in a local commercial.
Are you serious? Yes, Finn,
And while all of you have been
So concerned with your appearance in this school,
I've landed glee club its first big break.
Simply put,
Making us all celebrities.
Okay, and no one
Messes with celebrities or defaces their pictures.
What's the commercial?
Hold on to your hats and get ready to sell...
...Some mattresses!
(excited chatter)
I'm getting a nice pair of black suspenders.
Simple black.
My mom's going to be really proud.
Let's do our camera face.
I can't believe we're finally breaking into the biz!
You guys, I want us to always remember this moment.
Soon, there may be agents and managers and movie deals,
But right now I want us to remember what it feels like
To be here together as a team.
Whatever. Soon as I get my record deal,
I'm not speaking to any of you.
(snickering)
Okay, guys, we're very excited to have you here.
We here at mattress land believe that mattresses
Aren't just for sleeping and fornicating anymore.
We believe that buying an affordable mattress
Should be fun.
All right, let's go over the script.
I think it's pretty brilliant.
I wrote it myself. Action!
(clears throat) "ah, me."
"what's wrong?"
"we just lost our jobs...
"at the factory,
And we can't get a good night's sleep."
Rachel: "chipper up!
"come on down to mattress land.
"we've got near-wholesale prices
To fit your style and pocketbook."
I-I'm sorry. Mr. Cusperberg.
This script is brilliant,
But we're a glee club, and we should perform.
Perform the lines as I wrote them.
Wait a minute, Dennis.
What did you have in mind?
~~ ba, ba, ba ~~
~~ ba-ba, ba-da ~~
~~ ba, ba-da-da ~~
(melodious yell) ~~ ba, ba, ba ~~
~~ ba, ba, ba-da ~~
~~ ba, ba-da-da ~~
~~ I get up ~~ ~~ ba, ba, ba ~~
~~ and nothing gets me down ~~ ~~ ba, ba ba-da ~~
~~ ba, ba-da-da ~~
~~ you got it tough ~~ ~~ ba, ba, ba ~~
~~ I've seen the toughest around ~~ ~~ ba, ba, ba-da ~~
~~ ba, ba, da-da ~~
~~ and I know ~~ ~~ ba, ba, ba ~~
~~ baby, just how you feel ~~
~~ ba, ba da-da ~~
~~ you've got to roll with the punches ~~
~~ to get to what's real ~~
~~ ba, ba, da-da ~~
~~ oh, can't you see me standing here ~~
~~ I got my back against the record machine ~~
~~ I ain't the worst that you've seen ~~
~~ ain't the worst that you've seen ~~
~~ oh, can't you see what I mean? ~~
~~ can't you see what I mean? ~~
~~ yeah ~~ ~~ might as well jump ~~
Jump! ~~ ba, ba, ba ~~
~~ might as well jump ~~ ~~ ba, ba, ba-da ~~
~~ ba, ba-da-da ~~
~~ go ahead, jump ~~ jump!
~~ ba, ba, ba ~~
~~ go ahead and jump ~~ ~~ ba, ba-da-da ~~
~~ jump... ~~
~~ ba, ba, ba, ba-ba, ba-da ~~
~~ jump... Yeah ~~ ~~ might as well jump ~~
~~ ba, ba, da-da ~~ ~~ go ahead and jump ~~
~~ hey, hey, yeah ~~
~~ go ahead and jump ~~
~~ ba, ba, da-da ~~
~~ jump, jump, jump ~~ ~~ oh, oh, oh ~~
~~ yeah... ~~ ~~ ba-da, ba-ba-da-da ~~
~~ jump! ~~
Come on down to mattress land!
All: Come on down to mattress land!
Uh...
Terri, have you seen my pocket square?
(sighs)
Terri?
(sighs)
Terri?
A pocket square's gonna make you look like Ted Knight.
What is this?
It's a pregnancy pad.
They have them at the maternity stores for trying on clothes
So you can see how you're gonna look when you're showing.
Kendra stole it for me so I could see
If any of her old clothes would fit...
Pick up your shirt.
What?
No.
(clattering)
Pick up your shirt.
You're scaring me, Will.
Think about what you're accusing me of.
Think about it and turn around and go find your pocket square.
(gasps)
Please?
(gasping breath)
(whimpers)
(gasps)
Why did you do this to us?
I don't understand!
I thought you were leaving me.
You're so different, Will.
We both know it. I can feel you.
You're pulling away from me.
Why, because I-I've started standing up to you?
Trying to make this a relationship of equals?
No, because of the damn glee club.
Ever since you started it,
You just walk around
Like you're better than me!
I should be allowed to feel good about myself!
Who are we kidding, Will?
This marriage works because
You don't feel good about yourself.
This marriage works because I love you,
Because I've always accepted you, good and bad.
You loved the girl you met when you were 15.
I'm not that girl.
You've made yourself a stranger to me now.
Are you happy? Are you satisfied?!
It didn't start as a lie.
I really thought I was pregnant.
And then the doctor,
He said it was a hysterical pregnancy, and I...
I just panicked!
This is insane.
What were you gonna do when the due date came?
Quinn Fabray.
It was so perfect.
She didn't want hers, and I needed one.
I had the doctor use her ultrasound DVD
At your appointment that you came to.
(scoffs)
I loved you, Terri.
I really loved you.
I'm so sorry, Will.
I'm so sorry.
Do you remember at that appointment?
Do you remember what we said?
That at that moment, no matter what happened,
We loved each other.
We could get that feeling back again.
You could love me back, Will!
Please, Will! Please, don't go!
Please?!
Oh, god.
Sue: Am I asking for too much,
Ohio board of statewide holiday planning?
All I want is just one day a year
Where I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.
Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off.
So here's the dream:
Friday after christmas-- which I have off--
If you're hideous, stay at home.
Spend the entire day watching home videos of a time
When you weren't too repulsive for me
To ever want to look at.
And that's how Sue sees it.
Rod.
Slammin', Sue.
We'll be right back.
Hey, andrea, that "Sue's Corner" I just did,
Was talking about you.
(on tv): ~~ go ahead and jump! ~~
Rachel: Who says finding a mattress can't be fun?
At mattress land,
We have mattresses of all shapes and sizes
At prices that won't break your pocketbook.
No credit? No problem!
Mattress land has a no-hassle financing
Of 12.9% with no money down and no payments till next year.
You'll jump for joy at our prices.
All: Come on down to mattress land!
(school bell ringing)
Coach Sylvester, we need to talk.
Oh, I got nothing to say to you, prego.
The cheerios' photo's tomorrow, and I want back on that squad.
Oh, is that what you want?
Well, what I wanted was a head cheerleader who wasn't going
To hoist her legs behind her ears in the backseat
Of the first station wagon she could jimmy open,
Throwing away any chance she ever had in life.
It would be good for the school.
Show everyone that appearances don't matter.
That sometimes people have to deal with a little adversity.
I learned that in glee club.
Well, that little educational proverb must have slithered
From Will Schuester's mouth right after his lesson
On how to disqualify yourselves from sectionals.
What?
Saw your little commercial last night.
Boy, did you glee kids step in it.
Shue, I'm afraid Sue is right.
You have indeed stepped in it.
No, I didn't even know this was going on.
Of course, you didn't, Wiliam.
You wouldn't know if your glee club was using your office
To breed rabbits for pets or for food. And you know why?
You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hair
With enormous amounts of product!
I mean, today it just looks like you put lard in it.
What are you even talking about?!
Look, look, the kids did the commercial
To foster a feeling of unity after you--
Not anyone else-- you got them banned from the yearbook.
That's what I did, yes, I admit it.
It was an innocent mistake.
And what if I were to just innocently murder you, Will?
I'd still have to go to trial.
Probably get off with justifiable homicide.
Let me review the rules for you.
Wiliam, amendment 63, seventh addendum:
"no professional activity of any kind will be tolerated,
"and payment for services rendered negates amateur status,
Triggering immediate disqualification."
Hey, hey. Hey, hey, keep it civil.
Hey, what, mister?!
No, keep it simple, folks!
Keep it simple.
Hey, I'm sorry, Shue,
But I cannot let this slide.
But the kids weren't even paid!
There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room
Piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles
In the dumpster outside your apartment!
Okay, we'll give the mattresses back.
Shue, one of those mattresses was used.
You can't return a used mattress.
You can't even donate one to charity.
Lice, bedbugs-- I looked it up online!
Is there any reason that you have
A soiled mattress in your office, Will?
Have you and the redhead become so sexually depraved
That you have to commit your craven acts of adultery
In between classes?
What?
You know what, okay, fine.
I slept here, all right?
Excuse me?
(sighs)
I'm thinking about leaving my wife.
Well, I didn't see that one coming at all.
Wiliam, I am very sorry about your personal troubles
But my hands are tied.
Sue's right-- you broke the rules.
I cannot fight the scholastic board.
I'm sorry but glee club is over.
It's over!
Sue: "Dear Journal,
"I've finally gotten Will Schuester
"and that glee club out of my hair.
"this is a day that will live in infamy.
Once again, I've won."
Miss Sylvester.
It's like looking at a porno star in a nun's habit.
I wanted to show you that it still fits.
My baby bump isn't that bad,
It's just like I had a big lunch.
Take it off.
You need to get it through your pregnant head,
There's no way you're getting in that photo
Or back on the cheerios.
End of story.
You're a hypocrite. Excuse me?
I just heard that you got glee club's
Amateur status revoked over a mattress.
While you are constantly
Showering the cheerios with swag.
I've gotten free shoes,
Complimentary tanning, haircuts.
The season tickets to Cedar Point--
We sold those on ebay.
For a profit.
It seems to me that if Figgins found out,
You would get banned from competition.
Fine.
You're back on the cheerios.
I'll put you on full-time dry cleaning duty
And shove you to the back of the photo to hide your shame.
I'm not finished.
Glee club gets a full page photo.
That's not up to me.
You are giving up one of the cheerios' six pages
And you are giving it to the glee club free of charge.
You know, Q, I'd forgotten
Just how ruthless you really are.
You're like a young Sue Sylvester.
Now, get out of my office.
If you can manage to squeeze through the door
Without your water breaking all over my new carpet.
You know what?
I don't think I want to be a cheerio after all.
I don't want to be on a team where I only appear to belong.
I'd rather be a part of a club that's proud to have me
Like glee club.
(sighing): It's my fault.
If I hadn't slept on that mattress,
We could've just returned them and moved on.
Hey, can I give you some advice?
Please.
You need to give yourself a break.
(scoffs) you do.
You'll figure out what to do with the kids, you always do.
But I think right now
You really need to focus on your own life.
You know, divorce is a really big deal.
Who said anything about getting a divorce?
Oh, god, I'm so sorry.
I just assumed
That that's...
Is that what you would do?
Well, um...
When I first heard about
What Terri had done,
Oh, gosh, no, I thought there should be some sort of law.
But then when I thought
About it some more,
Thought about what I would've done
If I'd felt you slipping away...
You would never be that cruel.
No, her methods were wrong, but, um,
I totally understand her intentions.
You're a lot to lose, Will.
But we don't want to go to sectionals without you.
(sighs)
It's without me or not at all.
Look, I was the one who slept on the mattress,
Which means I accepted them, not you.
Which means I'm disqualified from competition,
Not you guys.
He's taking the bullet for us.
Solid.
(sighing): We have worked too hard
For you guys not to get your shot.
We can't do this without you, Mr. Shue.
Hell, we probably can't do it with you.
That's not true.
You guys are good.
You're really good.
You did "Jump" for that commercial without me, right?
Look, the best teachers don't give you the answers.
They just point the way and let you make your own choices.
Your own mistakes.
That way you get all the glory.
And you deserve it.
Look, if... If you can't win without me there,
Then I haven't done my job.
We're really sorry, Mr. Shue.
I know.
I want you guys to go get gussied up
And take that glee club photo with pride.
I want to see a smile on every one of your faces.
~~ ~~
~~ smile though your heart is aching ~~
~~ smile even though it's breaking ~~
~~ when there are clouds in the sky ~~
~~ you'll get by ~~
~~ if you smile through your pain and sorrow ~~
~~ smile and maybe tomorrow ~~
~~ you'll see the sun come shining through ~~
~~ for you ~~
~~ light up your face with gladness ~~
~~ hide every trace of sadness ~~
~~ although a tear ~~
~~ may be ever so near ~~
~~ that's the time ~~
~~ you must keep on trying ~~
~~ smile, what's the use of crying? ~~
~~ you'll find that life is still worthwhile ~~
~~ if you just smile ~~
~~ ~~
~~ smile though your heart is aching ~~ ~~ is aching ~~
~~ smile even though it's breaking ~~ ~~ it's breaking ~~
~~ when there are clouds in the sky ~~
~~ you'll get by ~~
~~ that's the time you must keep on trying ~~
~~ smile, what's the use of crying? ~~
~~ you'll find that life is still worthwhile ~~
~~ if you just smile ~~
~~ you'll find that life is still worthwhile ~~
~~ if you just smile... ~~
~~ smile. ~~
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"A day without a laugh is a wasted day." - Charles Chaplin