[MOUSE SQUEAKS]
[PENGUINS WENK]
[ALL CHEERING]
[SCREECHES]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
[BELLS JINGLING]
- Jake, you made this? - Yeah.
And you buried the treasure right here?
Uh-huh.
Jake, you're awesome!
[GRUNTS] This is so cool.
BOTH: [GRUNTING]
FINN: A suitcase?
Oh, man!
I found it in the dump
and then buried it without looking inside.
Whoa.
Wait a second, man. I know this case.
One night, while you were away at Lady's house,
I was dancing in the woods.
ICE KING: Evil tapes. Evil!
Perchance, I saw the Ice King doing something suspicious.
So I trailed him to the dump,
where he buried this case in the ground.
You're evil tapes!
Full of evil secrets!
That's why I'm going to bury you
where no one will ever find you...
under all these boogers!
Whee! [LAUGHS]
FINN: I waited for him to leave.
But he played in those boogers for hours.
I decided to come back later for the case.
But I lost track of it.
- Whoa! And I found it? - Mm-hmm.
[LAUGHS]
Let's have a secret screening.
I'll make some fliers for it.
There, now nobody will bother us.
FINN: Jake! Jake, come on!
Okay, you can play this, right, Beemo?
Yes, Finn.
It goes in my butt.
Oh.
This is so exciting!
Hello, dear diary.
Pretty good day so far.
Got up bright and early,
had a healthy and slimming breakfast,
did 14 minutes of cardio.
Dude, what are we watching?
I think it's the Ice King's diary.
I mean, I'm not gonna win
carpenter of the year or anything,
but it's a place to hang up the old toothbrush.
Wenk.
Gunter. Hey, Gunter.
Get -- getaway from the camera, sweetie.
Papa's recording his innermost thoughts.
Remember, I explained this to you?
Hey, Gunter.
Gunter! - Wenk.
Well, anyway, as you can see, I'm not wearing my --
Wenk.
I'm not wearing my --
Wenk, wenk.
Sweetie, I raised my voice
because you were giving me the silent treatment.
You understand? - Wenk.
I love you.
Can we fast-forward?
N-No, man, we might miss something.
[SIGHS]
There must be more to life than this.
Wenk.
I know, you don't like when I'm contemplative.
C-Contemplative? No.
Con-tem-plat-- C-- let's put on a play!
What?!
[AS BUBBLEGUM] Oh, Ice King, you're so cool!
You take such good care of yourself!
I want to be with you!
Wenk, wenk, wenk!
[NORMAL VOICE] No, Gunter, beard stays on.
Wenk.
ICE KING: Gunter, I need you to wear the beard!
- Wenk. - Gunter!
Hey, pause it, Beemo.
There's got to be some evil secrets in here.
I want to keep watching.
Okay-
Well, why don't I make us some snacks?
So I don't have to watch this.
Can we sit on the floor?
I feel so far away from you guys.
Wenk.
[KNUCKLES CRACK] Aha!
Now hold still. [ZAP!]
[DINK!]
You moved!
Ooh, what's this?
[MUMBLING]
Secret tapes?!
I wanna watch!
Catch you later, Gunter.
Wenk.
[LAUGHS]
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
Gunter, no!
Gunter!
Dance p--
Gunter!
Dance party!
[MUNCHING]
Thanks, Gunter.
[LAUGHS]
Mmm!
You're Gunter.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk.
Oh, fine, who needs you?
More dance party for us.
Right, Gunter?
Oh! Uh...
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
May I have this dance?
[CHUCKLES]
There's probably some evil secrets coming up.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Someone wants to see the secret tapes!
What?!
Oh, but I was so clear in my flier.
Let's peek through the window and check who it is.
Maybe it's just a pizza.
Right!
- Hey, hey! - BOTH: What?!
You guys are checking too loud!
Oh, you're right.
More quietly.
[CLICKING]
I'm quieter now.
Cool.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
Hey. guys, it's me.
Can I come in and watch the secret tapes with you?
I brought some gifts.
BOTH: Aah!
Okay, if we're quiet long enough,
Ice King will think no one's home and go away.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
Ah, no one's home.
Guess I'll go away.
[ALARM BLARES]
Aah! Aah! Ohh!
Huh?
[BLARING CONTINUES]
Just turn your alarm off!
Hmm, that sounds like Beemo.
[BLARING CONTINUES]
My alarm says it's time for Finn's bath.
Finn, get naked.
No, just hit your snooze button!
I cannot self-snooze.
It's against my programming.
Well, then, tell me how to do it!
[BLARING CONTINUES]
Press and hold, then press the button on top of my head.
[BLARING STOPS]
BOTH: Phew!
I'm sorry.
We can still take a bath.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
He must know we're watching his tapes.
We need to find his secrets faster.
[CRYING]
Oh, diary, thank you for listening to me.
[CRIES]
Fast-forward, Beemo.
[HIGH-PITCHED]
Sorry, been meaning to tell you something insanely private.
But darest I?
I love to... [GRUNTS]
...fill my bathtub full of milk
and sit in it like I'm a magic angel.
There, I said it.
The white of the milk is so dense,
And when I poke my little toes out from under the milk,
they startle me and I giggle.
I giggle, diary. They're my own toes,
yet I giggle, and then I fall asleep.
And the milk curdles and I get all stinky and sticky.
Disgusting, diary. lam disgusting.
I'm disgusting.
I'm disgusting and I smell like curdled milk.
Anyway, back to the Turtle Princess.
Play, Beemo.
So, there we are.
Turtle Princess is frozen
and in my little ice wheelbarrow,
and there was magic in the air.
We were both feeling it.
[CHUCKLES]
But before I can leave the library,
Finn and Jake show up!
You know how Jake is. Stretch this, stretch that.
Bah!
He knocks off my crown,
and then Finn bonks me on the nose!
Still hurts, too.
The worst part is,
Turtle Princess took away my library card.
[SIGHS]
You know, dear diary, I'm starting to worry
that all these entries sound exactly the same,
and that my life is just me running in place
on some giant hamster wheel.
Ugh, fast-forward, Beemo.
[HIGH PITCHED] This reminds me of the time I got stuck in my bathroom.
There was a squirrel. Dan 't ask.
Anyway, long story short, imagine me crouched down
on the kitchen ﬂoor talking to the toilet paper.
Ha ha! I'm like, "Who wants to go on an adventure?
Ana' the toilet paper's //ke, "What?"
You're my best friend, diary.
I'm gonna take a nap.
No! These tapes are important.
We just don't know why yet.
Beemo, fast-forward to triple speed.
Okay-
[HIGH PITCHED SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
FINN: Beemo, play normal speed.
[NORMAL VOICE] Come on, baby, in the pocket!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
I can't do it. I can't do it.
Maybe he's talking in secret code.
Telling evil secrets in secret code...
He's brilliant!
Well, how do we decode the secrets?
Why don't we call others for help?
Beemo, you're brilliant!
Well, who do we call?
Um... the smartest person we know --
Princess Bubblegum.
She's brilliant.
[DIALING]
[LAUGHS EVILLY]
- Hi, Princess Bubblegum. - Hey, Finn.
Jake and I found a bunch of secret tapes.
We were wondering if you'd help us decode them.
- Codes? - Yeah, they're really stupid,
but, you know, maybe they're encoded or whatevah.
Oh, you called the right person.
I know a lot about codes.
Let's start with -- [STATIC, DIAL TONE]
- Huh? - Oh!
[DIALING]
Hey, Princess, we got disconnected.
[AS BUBBLEGUM] Hello, Finny. [GIGGLES]
BOTH: You sound weird.
Must be a bad connection.
That's why we were disconnected earlier on the telephone.
Ice King is on the phone outside.
So, how's the weather in Candy Kingdom?
Oh, the usual.
There's ice everywhere, and it smells like penguins.
The only thing that smells like penguins is you, Ice King!
[GASPS] How did you --
What are you doing?!
I want to watch secret tapes with you guys.
It'll be nice.
No, man.
But --
He doesn't know that we're watching his tapes.
We gotta find these evil secrets
before he uses them against us!
Ohhhh, fine!
No more nice!
Now you'll get ice!
Try watching those tapes with frozen eyeballs!
[LAUGHS EVILLY]
Aaaaaaaah!
[BELLS JINGLING]
Aaaaaaaah!
♪ Alouette, gentille alouette ♪
♪ Alouette, je te plumerai ♪
♪ Je te plumerai, Je te plumerai ♪
♪ Alouette ♪
[FLAPPING LIPS]
Huh, I guess you do know all the words.
Anyway, start the next video, Beemo.
We got to crack the code on the Ice King's evil secret tapes!
[GROANS]
Brrr! You guys cold?
Yeah, it's kinda chilly in here.
[GRUNTS] What's on those tapes?
I can kind of make it out.
Dang it, Beemo, just turn to your right a little.
Ugh! By the power of ice,
I want your cup of cocoa to fall over!
[GRUNTS]
Yes!
Now turn and pick it up.
Yes. Yes.
[GASPS]
That's... me?
They're watching my secret tapes?!
[GROWLS]
And they're cozy!
I'll show them.
This snowman looks pretty good.
Pretty darn good.
[LAUGHS]
[CRYING]
[SLURPS]
[CRYING CONTINUES]
Wenk.
Could / have five more minutes, please ?
[CRYING CONTINUES]
I think I can break the code, Finn.
Really?
Yes, I have detected a noticeable pattern
in the tears of sadness that fall
from the Ice King's eyeballs.
His tears drop at an equal rate until the 13th tear,
when the right side drops two tears instead of one.
- Whoa. - This is so fascinating.
The 13th letter of the alphabet is
if I print the letter "m"
every time Ice King says an "m" word
it looks like this.
Oh, my glob, Jake. ls this it?
Could this be the Ice King's evil secret?
What does it mean?!
Some of you won't survive this.
You'll melt or split in half or your head will fall off.
But that's fine, because you're made of snow.
Only one thing matters today --
getting into that tree house, getting my tapes back,
and beating up Finn and Jake!
Maybe Beemo. Yeah, Beemo, too.
Who's with me?
[WIND WHISTLES]
Hey, Why are you guys So quiet?
Are you mad?
Oh, that's right, you're not alive yet.
My bad.
[SNOWMEN MOANING]
Give me my tapes back.
No, man! I know you've got evil secrets on these,
and we're gonna find them!
Snowmen, attack!
[SNOWMEN MOANING]
ICE KING: Aah!
Crup, Jake!
We got to unravel these evil secrets at warp crazy!
Good morning.
You're watching the evening news.
There's been an unfortunate event.
Let's go talk to some witnesses.
Princess, what is your name?
Please, let me go home!
So, Princess Please-let-me-go-home, tell me,
what was it like to experience this tragedy?
What? I can--
I don't, uh, uh...
Yeah, we're on air, honey, so spit it out.
I... I don't know what you're talking about.
Obviously traumatized and in a state of shock.
Let's go ask somebody else something.
Upside-down Princess, do you think
things will change politically because of today's events?
You're really frightening me!
Well, there you have it, folks.
People are very upset
that Gunter tried to eat Ice King's socks.
Very Upset!
That's why Gunter has to stay in the corner.
Weird. - [BANGING]
He's sneaking in through the chimney!
[GRUNTS]
Ah, the element of surprise.
Aw, geez, I'm filthy.
[GRUNTS]
Well, now I'm cleaner, but I'm also nakeder.
Ooh! Mmm.
[LICKS LIPS] Just what I need.
[LAUGHS]
Come on, come on.
♪ Daddy, why did you eat my fries'? ♪
♪ I bought them. They were mine ♪
♪ But you ate them ♪
♪ You ate my fries ♪
♪ And I cried ♪
♪ But you didn't see me cry ♪
♪ Daddy, do you even love me? ♪
♪ Well, I wish you would show it
'cause I wouldn't know it ♪ - Yeesh!
[MUTTERING ANGRILY]
They wouldn't be in a fruit bowl!
Ooh!
Well, look at you with your nose shining so bright!
You're so unique! [CHUCKLES]
I'll name you "Red Nose"
and make you leader of the pack!
[SIGHS]
Well, now you look boring.
If you want something done right,
you have to do it yourself.
[CRYING]
Now give me my evil tapes back!
They're supposed to be buried...
in the ground!
BOTH: [SCREAM]
Snow goons!
- Oh, no! - Don't worry, Beemo.
Aah!
Finn, there's one more tape!
Play it! His evil secret must be on that tape!
No, Beemo, please don't play it!
Hello, my name is Simon Petrikov.
I am recording this tape so that people will know my story.
Oh, no! Turn it off, Beemo! Turn it off!
I was studying to be an antiquarian
of ancient artifacts.
Now I never believed in the supernatural stuff myself,
just had a fascination with superstitions.
But everything changed
when I came into contact with this item.
BOTH: The Ice King!
After purchasing this crown
from an old dock worker in northern Scandinavia,
I brought it home and excitedly showed my fiancee, Betty.
I jokingly put it on my head,
just for a laugh or something,
and that's when it started... the visions.
I fought with them, shouted at them
until I realized it wasn't real!
It was the crown!
I quickly took it off
and saw my fiancée in front of me,
looking at me with such contempt!
What had I said?
What had I done when I wore this crown?
All I know is, I never saw Betty again.
Since then, I now see the visions always,
whether or not I wear the crown.
They tell me the secrets...
the secrets of the ice and snow,
that the power of the crown
will save me with its frost.
I don't yet know what this means...
As you can see, my skin is beginning to turn blue,
my body temperature has been lowering
at a supernatural rate,
to what is now about 30 degrees celsius.
I don't know when it will end.
I'm really scared...
I know my mind is changing,
but I'm already too far gone to know what to do.
I want people to know that if I do things,
if -- if I do things that hurt anyone,
please, please forgive me!
Just watch over me until I can find my way
out of this labyrinth in my brain
and regain my sanity!
And then maybe Betty, my princess...
maybe you will love me again.
[VOICE BREAKING] Please love me again, Betty!
[CRIES]
Drama bomb!
[SNIFFLES] Now you know my secret!
You know...
that I used to wear glasses!
[CRYING]
Maybe kidnapping Wildberry Princess will cheer me up.
Wait, Ice King.
Beemo, eject tape, please.
[WHIRRING]
[CRIES]
Here, Ice King.
What's this? You're giving me a gift?
No! It's...
Well, these belong to you.
But it's not even my birthday!
Oh, this is so exciting! Video tapes!
You know, I had a bunch of these once,
but I threw them away.
This is great, Finn. Thank you.
It's from me, too.
Oh, I have presents for you guys, too!
Here, it's a small pine tree.
I chopped it down in one fell swoop.
And this is for you.
Uh, thanks.
Oh, isn't this fun?
We're exchanging presents. We're wearing silly clothes.
There's snow everywhere.
Let's do this every day!
Uh...
How about once a year?
[LAUGHS] Okay.
That sounds good.
SHELBY: And so it was decided,
that once every year, when the weather got chilly,
that Finn, Jake, the Ice King,
Beemo, Princess Bubblegum,
Marceline the Vampire Queen,
Cinnamon Bun, Peppermint Butler, Phil,
a candy cane man, one of the Gumdrop Girls,
Lady Rainicorn, Lumpy Space Princess,
that guy, the other guy,
a pig, Tree Trunks, a two-headed duck,
the old crazy Tart Toter, the punch bowl,
a booger, and Gunter would get together
while wearing really big sweaters
and watch videos on the floor next to a fire
to celebrate the day when Finn and Jake
had a ﬂeeting moment of empathy
for the biggest weirdo in Ooo.
It was a miracle.
Good night.
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest I'
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
FINN: This party is so crazy!