1 00:00:03,173 --> 00:00:04,675 Forget it. 2 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:06,062 It's impossible. 3 00:00:06,096 --> 00:00:07,229 It's not gonna work in a million years. 4 00:00:07,264 --> 00:00:08,264 It's pointless. I give up. 5 00:00:08,298 --> 00:00:09,432 Good attitude, honey. 6 00:00:09,466 --> 00:00:11,067 Well, you know, what do you want from me? 7 00:00:11,101 --> 00:00:14,270 I'm trying to get a group of people to give me their land, 8 00:00:14,304 --> 00:00:18,140 rather than sell it to Gryzzl for $90 million. 9 00:00:18,175 --> 00:00:19,775 Right now, my basic argument is, 10 00:00:19,810 --> 00:00:22,678 "Please, give us the land. It would be so nice." 11 00:00:22,713 --> 00:00:25,681 Gryzzl has billions of dollars. There's no way I beat them. 12 00:00:25,716 --> 00:00:28,384 Hey, I've seen you beat tougher odds than this. 13 00:00:28,418 --> 00:00:31,220 But they're just a company, they're not that powerful. 14 00:00:32,689 --> 00:00:33,623 Whoa! 15 00:00:33,657 --> 00:00:36,125 "Open your door"? 16 00:00:37,261 --> 00:00:38,294 Ah! 17 00:00:38,328 --> 00:00:40,763 Oh, my God, Ben! We're about to die. 18 00:00:40,797 --> 00:00:42,365 - Good lord! - Oh, my-- 19 00:00:42,399 --> 00:00:43,833 The robots have come for us. 20 00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:45,268 I made fun of you when you said it would happen 21 00:00:45,302 --> 00:00:46,869 but your novel has come true. 22 00:00:46,903 --> 00:00:47,937 Hey, Leslie Knope! 23 00:00:47,971 --> 00:00:49,639 Please enjoy this free gift, 24 00:00:49,673 --> 00:00:51,674 courtesy of Gryzzl. 25 00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,909 Okay, so they also have a squadron 26 00:00:53,944 --> 00:00:57,480 of flying robots giving presents to everyone. 27 00:00:57,514 --> 00:00:59,015 We're screwed. 28 00:01:02,052 --> 00:01:10,059 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 29 00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:21,037 New dish we're working on. 30 00:01:21,071 --> 00:01:22,505 Tell me what you think. 31 00:01:22,539 --> 00:01:25,474 It's a red and white heirloom red bean pasta, 32 00:01:25,509 --> 00:01:27,710 with an imported Tuscan walnut herb sauce, 33 00:01:27,744 --> 00:01:30,279 infused with shaved heritage Pecorino Romano. 34 00:01:30,314 --> 00:01:31,280 What? You're done? 35 00:01:31,315 --> 00:01:33,015 Mmm. Really good. 36 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:33,983 Why are you doing new dishes? 37 00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:38,721 Lucy is visiting her boyfriend Conrad in Chicago, 38 00:01:38,755 --> 00:01:40,156 so I'm just trying to distract myself with work 39 00:01:40,190 --> 00:01:42,024 so I don't think about the marathon bone sesh 40 00:01:42,059 --> 00:01:43,025 they're probably having. 41 00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:43,993 Hey, you know what, dude? 42 00:01:44,027 --> 00:01:45,027 You gotta take your mind off of them. 43 00:01:45,062 --> 00:01:46,796 Check this out. 44 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,497 It's a contract. 45 00:01:48,532 --> 00:01:50,199 It came from the station manager where I do my show, 46 00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:52,368 Johnny Karate. He wants me to sign it, 47 00:01:52,402 --> 00:01:55,371 but is says that they'll own the character, "Johnny Karate." 48 00:01:55,405 --> 00:01:57,873 And I want to own the character Johnny Karate, 'cause it's me. 49 00:01:57,908 --> 00:01:59,976 Wait, this says they only pay you a hundred bucks a week? 50 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,645 Yeah, but all I really do is goof around all day. 51 00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:04,347 Write, produce, and direct a TV show. 52 00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:07,483 Plus, I act in it, and I do sets, props, wardrobe. 53 00:02:07,517 --> 00:02:09,318 At the end, I drive everybody home, so I mean, 54 00:02:09,353 --> 00:02:12,121 a hundred bucks a week-- that's pretty fair. 55 00:02:12,155 --> 00:02:14,023 This is perfect. I'll be your agent! 56 00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:16,692 I'll put all my energy into renegotiating your contract. 57 00:02:16,727 --> 00:02:18,461 I won't even think about Lucy and Conrad 58 00:02:18,495 --> 00:02:22,131 and his stupid crunches that he probably does. 59 00:02:22,165 --> 00:02:25,067 I should probably do some crunches. 60 00:02:25,102 --> 00:02:26,102 Let's go! 61 00:02:26,136 --> 00:02:28,838 Ow! Andy, my tum tum! 62 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,140 Knope, I need to talk to you. 63 00:02:31,174 --> 00:02:32,241 What's up? 64 00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:34,010 I know I technically work for Gryzzl, 65 00:02:34,044 --> 00:02:35,912 but these fools have crossed a line. 66 00:02:35,946 --> 00:02:37,413 Have you gotten one of these GryzzlBoxes? 67 00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:39,415 Well, yeah, but I haven't opened it yet. 68 00:02:39,449 --> 00:02:42,251 Planning on sending it back after I wrote a sternly-worded 69 00:02:42,286 --> 00:02:44,954 letter about how I cannot be bought with free gifts. 70 00:02:44,988 --> 00:02:47,490 These are my free gifts. 71 00:02:47,524 --> 00:02:49,325 Two honey bears... 72 00:02:49,359 --> 00:02:51,928 and a canister of sugar plums. 73 00:02:51,962 --> 00:02:54,563 "Honeybear" and "Sugar Plum" are the special names 74 00:02:54,598 --> 00:02:55,998 Joe and I call each other. 75 00:02:56,033 --> 00:02:57,166 Aww. 76 00:02:57,201 --> 00:02:59,468 Yeah, we're adorable, but this is creepy. 77 00:02:59,503 --> 00:03:01,137 Because we only call each other these things 78 00:03:01,171 --> 00:03:03,039 on the phone or in texts. 79 00:03:03,073 --> 00:03:05,574 How do they even know? 80 00:03:05,609 --> 00:03:08,377 Leslie, open that box they sent you. 81 00:03:08,412 --> 00:03:11,447 Ooh! Joe Biden's book, "Biden the Rails: 82 00:03:11,481 --> 00:03:13,683 1001 Poems Inspired by My Travels 83 00:03:13,717 --> 00:03:15,151 Through Amtrak's Northeat Corridor." 84 00:03:15,185 --> 00:03:16,352 A thousand? 85 00:03:16,386 --> 00:03:18,888 A poster of the Supreme Court Justices 86 00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:21,424 sipping the Friends milkshake! 87 00:03:21,458 --> 00:03:22,925 This stuff is perfect for me. 88 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,494 Yeah, exactly. They must be data-mining. 89 00:03:25,529 --> 00:03:27,296 Searching our texts and emails 90 00:03:27,331 --> 00:03:28,998 and gathering profiles on all of us. 91 00:03:29,032 --> 00:03:31,167 This is a huge invasion of privacy, 92 00:03:31,201 --> 00:03:32,668 not to mention illegal. 93 00:03:32,703 --> 00:03:34,770 When they installed their free Wi-Fi in town, 94 00:03:34,805 --> 00:03:37,740 I made sure that there was language preventing this. 95 00:03:37,774 --> 00:03:39,454 I never would have agreed to work with them 96 00:03:39,476 --> 00:03:41,644 if I had known they were gonna be snooping in my biz. 97 00:03:41,678 --> 00:03:43,613 Gryzzl is going down. 98 00:03:43,647 --> 00:03:45,181 You wanna put me on blast? 99 00:03:45,215 --> 00:03:46,582 I'ma put you on Front Street. 100 00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:47,783 I don't understand what that means, 101 00:03:47,818 --> 00:03:50,286 but I think I get the context, and I love it. 102 00:03:51,521 --> 00:03:53,689 April, the new Parks interns start today, 103 00:03:53,724 --> 00:03:56,058 and I was wondering if you would deliver a little welcome speech. 104 00:03:56,093 --> 00:03:57,893 No, go away. 105 00:03:57,928 --> 00:04:01,264 Watermelon, martinis, exposed brick, Keri Russell's hair. 106 00:04:01,298 --> 00:04:03,299 Why did you just say those weird things? 107 00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,735 On the advice of my therapist, Dr. Richard Nygard, 108 00:04:05,769 --> 00:04:08,004 whenever I feel like yelling, I just take a deep breath 109 00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:10,306 and say three great things about being alive. 110 00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:13,309 - Gross. - Please talk to my interns. 111 00:04:13,343 --> 00:04:15,344 Fine. Whatever, I'll do it. 112 00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:17,046 I started here when I was 20, 113 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,949 and now I'm old and gross and directionless. 114 00:04:19,983 --> 00:04:22,552 Those kids are me ten years ago, 115 00:04:22,586 --> 00:04:25,021 and this internship is the videotape from The Ring. 116 00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:27,356 It's too late for me. I've seen too much. 117 00:04:27,391 --> 00:04:29,825 But maybe I can save them. 118 00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:32,762 You're all gonna die in here! 119 00:04:32,796 --> 00:04:34,196 Hello, everyone. 120 00:04:34,231 --> 00:04:36,666 We are here today to discuss Gryzzl, 121 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,534 and whether or not they are invading our privacy. 122 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,569 They sent my husband three boxes of genital cream 123 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,071 to his office. 124 00:04:42,105 --> 00:04:44,907 My husband's splotchy genitals are no one's business, 125 00:04:44,942 --> 00:04:48,511 except for his, mine, and his many genital doctors. 126 00:04:50,113 --> 00:04:53,582 They sent me a bunch of toy pigs dressed like movie stars. 127 00:04:53,617 --> 00:04:54,984 That's my private hobby. 128 00:04:55,018 --> 00:04:58,321 No one knows I collect toy pigs dressed like movie stars, 129 00:04:58,355 --> 00:04:59,922 except now all of you people. 130 00:04:59,957 --> 00:05:01,157 Which one is that? 131 00:05:01,191 --> 00:05:03,359 This is actually Ham-uel L. Jackson 132 00:05:03,393 --> 00:05:05,661 from the movie, Pork Fiction, it's extremely rare, 133 00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:07,029 and I am keeping it. 134 00:05:07,064 --> 00:05:09,465 But still, they no right to give me something I will treasure 135 00:05:09,499 --> 00:05:11,167 the rest of my life. 136 00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:13,536 I opened my box in front of all of my friends, 137 00:05:13,570 --> 00:05:16,339 and it was a bunch of Virginia Woolf novels. 138 00:05:16,373 --> 00:05:18,808 Now Miley and Haley know I like to read. 139 00:05:18,842 --> 00:05:20,209 What if they tell Evan? 140 00:05:20,243 --> 00:05:22,712 I like their phones, but they've gone too far 141 00:05:22,746 --> 00:05:24,680 sending this stuff to our houses. 142 00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:27,283 Gryzzl has no right to search our private data. 143 00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:31,053 So wait, you guys are not against us on this? 144 00:05:31,088 --> 00:05:32,822 We're not against you on this. 145 00:05:32,856 --> 00:05:35,458 We're not against you on this. 146 00:05:35,492 --> 00:05:37,326 We're not against you on this. 147 00:05:37,361 --> 00:05:39,662 Finally, after months of searching for a way 148 00:05:39,696 --> 00:05:43,099 to defeat Gryzzl, we have found its Achilles' heel. 149 00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:45,835 The town is behind us, Donna is on our side, 150 00:05:45,869 --> 00:05:47,536 and the next domino to fall? 151 00:05:47,571 --> 00:05:49,605 Ron Swanson. 152 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,242 Actually, this is Tom Sell-oink, but, you know, close enough. 153 00:05:53,277 --> 00:05:54,644 Actually, I'm gonna need that back. 154 00:05:54,678 --> 00:05:55,678 Oh, yes, of course. 155 00:05:58,529 --> 00:06:00,622 February 2016--I think you're gonna really enjoy 156 00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:02,109 this month's photo album. 157 00:06:02,143 --> 00:06:05,352 It includes such hits as: "First Trip to the Dentist," 158 00:06:05,472 --> 00:06:07,006 "Sonia Tries Pizza," 159 00:06:07,041 --> 00:06:09,476 and "Waterpark Vomit Chain Reaction." 160 00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:11,177 Why would you take pictures of that? 161 00:06:11,212 --> 00:06:12,912 - Why would you not? - As you requested, 162 00:06:12,947 --> 00:06:16,049 here's a picture of my son at a recent moment in his life. 163 00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:18,484 So cute-- 164 00:06:18,519 --> 00:06:21,554 What are you doing? - Protecting my son's privacy. 165 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:23,490 What, I'm just gonna carry around pictures of my child 166 00:06:23,524 --> 00:06:24,824 where anyone could see them? 167 00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,793 Well, it's funny you should mention privacy 168 00:06:26,827 --> 00:06:28,461 because that's our next topic. 169 00:06:28,495 --> 00:06:30,797 Ron technically works for Gryzzl. 170 00:06:30,831 --> 00:06:32,565 And when he finds out what Gryzzl is doing, 171 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,935 he is going to lose. His. Mind. 172 00:06:37,404 --> 00:06:39,606 - I have no reaction to this. - What? 173 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,241 I do not pass judgment on the workings 174 00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,642 of private businesses. 175 00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:44,144 I just build their buildings. 176 00:06:44,178 --> 00:06:45,779 And frankly, if people are foolish enough 177 00:06:45,813 --> 00:06:47,247 to carry around a doodad 178 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,782 that lets Gryzzl track their every move, 179 00:06:49,817 --> 00:06:50,950 this is what they get. 180 00:06:50,985 --> 00:06:52,719 But it's illegal. 181 00:06:52,753 --> 00:06:54,153 I don't believe that's true. 182 00:06:54,188 --> 00:06:55,288 I've spent a fair amount of time 183 00:06:55,322 --> 00:06:56,643 with Gryzzl's high-priced lawyers, 184 00:06:56,657 --> 00:06:59,559 and they do seem to, as they say, 185 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,361 "keep it 100." 186 00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,696 Well, those fools still think I work for them. 187 00:07:03,731 --> 00:07:05,865 So I can get you a private VIP tour of the building. 188 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:08,435 Maybe you can snoop around. 189 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,136 Hey there, homies, I'm Roscoe. 190 00:07:10,171 --> 00:07:11,638 Psyched to give you guys a tour. 191 00:07:11,672 --> 00:07:14,073 Yes, hello, I'm Darlene Johannsen, 192 00:07:14,108 --> 00:07:16,176 and this is my assistant-turned-lover, 193 00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:17,810 Gregory Strong. 194 00:07:17,845 --> 00:07:20,947 Ours is a new romance, but one that sent shockwaves 195 00:07:20,981 --> 00:07:22,649 through my architecture firm. 196 00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:24,417 - But it feels so right. - Steady. 197 00:07:24,451 --> 00:07:28,188 We love Gryzzl, and we would love to see how it all works. 198 00:07:28,222 --> 00:07:31,391 Sweet. Let's get loco. 199 00:07:31,425 --> 00:07:34,561 Okay, so, let's get to know each other. 200 00:07:34,595 --> 00:07:36,262 Talk about why you're here, 201 00:07:36,297 --> 00:07:37,697 whether you're throwing your lives away, 202 00:07:37,731 --> 00:07:39,365 stuff like that. 203 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,833 Uh, you, what brought you here? 204 00:07:40,868 --> 00:07:42,135 I love the Parks department. 205 00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:43,269 I grew up near Ramsett Park 206 00:07:43,304 --> 00:07:44,537 and I used to go to tons of stuff there. 207 00:07:44,572 --> 00:07:45,939 Okay, that doesn't help me. 208 00:07:45,973 --> 00:07:47,140 Uh, Mork? 209 00:07:47,174 --> 00:07:48,575 Oh, it's Mike. 210 00:07:48,609 --> 00:07:50,543 I love parks, more than anything, 211 00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:52,946 and I've been a summer camp counselor since I was 13. 212 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,280 Ugh. Gross. 213 00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:56,182 What about you? Why are you here? 214 00:07:56,217 --> 00:07:58,151 The only thing I love more than parks is recreation. 215 00:07:58,185 --> 00:07:59,152 Really? 216 00:07:59,186 --> 00:08:00,253 No, I just needed college credit. 217 00:08:00,287 --> 00:08:01,287 What are you studying? 218 00:08:01,322 --> 00:08:02,288 Nothing. College is stupid. 219 00:08:02,323 --> 00:08:03,556 Then who made you do this. 220 00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:05,458 - My parents. - What are they like? 221 00:08:05,493 --> 00:08:07,613 Well, my mom's the devil and my dad's a dumb doctor. 222 00:08:07,628 --> 00:08:09,562 - Oh, my dad's a doctor. - Shut up. 223 00:08:09,597 --> 00:08:11,030 - Jen is it? - Yeah. 224 00:08:11,065 --> 00:08:12,365 Let's take a walk, Jen. 225 00:08:12,399 --> 00:08:14,467 I feel like you have almost zero potential. 226 00:08:14,502 --> 00:08:15,702 I think that's cool. 227 00:08:15,736 --> 00:08:17,070 And action! 228 00:08:17,104 --> 00:08:20,206 We meet again, Puppy-Hating Dan. 229 00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,741 You stole my guitar. 230 00:08:21,775 --> 00:08:24,043 And you put farts in my lunch. 231 00:08:25,112 --> 00:08:26,613 You've really done it this time. 232 00:08:26,647 --> 00:08:28,515 Puppy Army, attack! 233 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:29,749 Yeah! 234 00:08:29,784 --> 00:08:31,251 What? No! 235 00:08:31,285 --> 00:08:32,919 I hate puppies. 236 00:08:32,953 --> 00:08:34,587 I'll admit to everything. 237 00:08:34,622 --> 00:08:36,156 You win again, Macklin. 238 00:08:36,190 --> 00:08:37,891 Another mystery solved! 239 00:08:37,925 --> 00:08:41,194 We'll be right back after this with some more Johnny Karate. 240 00:08:41,228 --> 00:08:42,295 Okay, that's lunch, everyone. 241 00:08:42,329 --> 00:08:44,063 We're back in 30 minutes. 242 00:08:44,098 --> 00:08:45,532 Great job, bud, you crushed it! 243 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,000 I love being Andy's agent. 244 00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:49,836 He does all the work, and I get 10% just for showing up. 245 00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:51,905 It's like a chef at a restaurant, 246 00:08:51,939 --> 00:08:54,240 making all the food, and then the owner gets a profit-- 247 00:08:54,275 --> 00:08:56,309 which is my other job! 248 00:08:56,343 --> 00:08:58,678 Man, I really got things figured out. 249 00:08:58,713 --> 00:08:59,946 Let's make this quick. 250 00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:02,315 Andy's show gets huge ratings in three cities. 251 00:09:02,349 --> 00:09:05,018 His GryzzlTube page has millions of views. 252 00:09:05,052 --> 00:09:07,020 If you don't Andy walking over to your rival station 253 00:09:07,054 --> 00:09:10,190 in Snerling, I think you should start taking this seriously. 254 00:09:10,224 --> 00:09:12,492 Right. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. 255 00:09:12,526 --> 00:09:14,427 I'm gonna upgrade the parking spot. 256 00:09:14,461 --> 00:09:16,563 But my son gets a role as one of the kid ninjas. 257 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,431 All right? He's gonna love me for it. 258 00:09:18,465 --> 00:09:20,500 It's gonna drive my ex-wife crazy. 259 00:09:20,534 --> 00:09:21,968 So far, so good, but, uh, 260 00:09:22,002 --> 00:09:23,242 in the words of Jerry Maguire-- 261 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,838 - "The human head weighs 8 pounds." 262 00:09:24,872 --> 00:09:27,173 No. "Show me the money." 263 00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:29,309 Andy, do you know how lucky you are to work here? 264 00:09:29,343 --> 00:09:30,643 I'm a kingmaker. 265 00:09:30,678 --> 00:09:34,981 Pep Wiley, Chuck Warschank, Selena Gomez--I made them. 266 00:09:35,015 --> 00:09:36,749 You discovered Selena Gomez? 267 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,051 Different Selena Gomez. 268 00:09:38,085 --> 00:09:39,752 Look, I don't have the money for a raise. 269 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:42,255 Uh, yeah you do. I've seen profit reports. 270 00:09:42,289 --> 00:09:45,125 The show's a bonanza. Andy starts making 500 a week. 271 00:09:45,159 --> 00:09:47,227 Now. 272 00:09:47,261 --> 00:09:48,895 Get the hell out of my office, both of you-- 273 00:09:48,929 --> 00:09:50,296 - Sit down. - I don't... 274 00:09:50,331 --> 00:09:53,399 Look, dude, this internship leads nowhere. 275 00:09:53,434 --> 00:09:57,203 It'll just screw up the rest of your life. 276 00:09:57,238 --> 00:09:59,205 - What do you love doing? - Texting. 277 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,341 What did you want to be when you were little? 278 00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:04,344 A scary mermaid that lures sailors to their death. 279 00:10:04,378 --> 00:10:06,613 Okay, side note, I'm gonna file papers 280 00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:09,549 to adopt you as my child, so keep an eye out for that. 281 00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:12,619 But more importantly, don't do this internship. 282 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,020 Go do something fun 283 00:10:14,054 --> 00:10:16,556 like trying to control birds with your mind 284 00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:21,361 or posting internet comments as Michael Jackson's ghost. 285 00:10:21,395 --> 00:10:23,897 Okay. Maybe you're right. 286 00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:26,132 Thanks. 287 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,468 Hey, April, we finished those questionnaires you gave us 288 00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,170 about our hopes and dreams for the internship. 289 00:10:30,204 --> 00:10:33,606 Great! Thanks, Mike! 290 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:38,211 Oh, I'm sorry this building is so lame. 291 00:10:38,245 --> 00:10:39,712 As soon as we get our new headquarters built, 292 00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:41,347 it's gonna be way, way, tighter. 293 00:10:41,382 --> 00:10:42,949 Check it. Matty. 294 00:10:42,983 --> 00:10:44,784 Okay, this is GryzzlVibe. 295 00:10:44,819 --> 00:10:46,152 It's this new app that we're developing 296 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,054 that monitors your mood. Tell them about it. 297 00:10:48,088 --> 00:10:51,124 As you know, the cameras on your phones are always on, 298 00:10:51,158 --> 00:10:52,125 whether you're using them or not. 299 00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:53,626 I'm sorry, they are? 300 00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:56,496 This app uses facial recognition software 301 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,064 to track your expressions. 302 00:10:58,099 --> 00:10:59,499 It's always watching. 303 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,335 Well, what do you do with this information? 304 00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:04,771 Well, if the camera senses that you're in a bad mood, 305 00:11:04,805 --> 00:11:07,140 then we can geo-match you to, say, the nearest cup 306 00:11:07,174 --> 00:11:08,775 of sweet pick-me-up java. 307 00:11:08,809 --> 00:11:12,345 But if you're in a good mood, then we could geo-nudge you 308 00:11:12,379 --> 00:11:13,980 to, like, a sweet coffee shop. 309 00:11:13,981 --> 00:11:16,249 Just keep the good times rolling. 310 00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:18,451 So it's really just a coffee sales app. 311 00:11:18,486 --> 00:11:19,752 - Yeah. - Yeah. 312 00:11:19,787 --> 00:11:20,887 Yeah, we're developing with Starbucks. 313 00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:21,888 Yeah. 314 00:11:21,922 --> 00:11:24,290 So, Roscoe, how does Gryzzl 315 00:11:24,325 --> 00:11:26,626 know all the things that someone wants? 316 00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:31,731 Are you guys...I don't know, whatever--data-mining? 317 00:11:31,765 --> 00:11:33,766 Oh, hells yeah, dog-man. 318 00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:38,004 Our super rad algorithm searches all your texts, calls, banking, 319 00:11:38,038 --> 00:11:40,039 medical records, blah, blah, blah, 320 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,442 to learn what you really want. 321 00:11:42,476 --> 00:11:44,511 You know, from snacks to new books and movies 322 00:11:44,545 --> 00:11:47,280 to when you ladies need to score some new 'pons. 323 00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:50,116 I mean, we might know you better than you know yourself, Leslie. 324 00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:52,252 How did you know it was me? 325 00:11:52,286 --> 00:11:53,853 Oh, there's about 40 different ways. 326 00:11:53,888 --> 00:11:56,823 I mean, geo-maps on your different Gryzzl devices, 327 00:11:56,857 --> 00:11:58,658 and, of course, we face-scanned you when you came in. 328 00:11:58,692 --> 00:11:59,726 Really glad you're here. 329 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,461 Okay, good. 330 00:12:01,495 --> 00:12:03,429 Just 'cause we're competing for the Newport land 331 00:12:03,464 --> 00:12:04,898 doesn't mean that we can't be friends. 332 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:06,299 - No. - Isn't that your motto? 333 00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:08,013 "Wouldn't it be tight if everyone was chill 334 00:12:08,035 --> 00:12:09,002 to each other?" 335 00:12:09,036 --> 00:12:10,003 Totes. 336 00:12:10,037 --> 00:12:11,571 And I hope that you can see now 337 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,773 that there's nothing scary about Gryzzl. 338 00:12:13,808 --> 00:12:16,276 I mean, we just wanna learn everything about everyone 339 00:12:16,310 --> 00:12:17,550 and track them wherever they go 340 00:12:17,578 --> 00:12:19,712 and anticipate what they're about to do. 341 00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:21,981 These are really interesting issues, Roscoe. 342 00:12:22,016 --> 00:12:24,851 I think maybe we could debate them, you know? 343 00:12:24,885 --> 00:12:27,454 - On TV. - TV. Retro. 344 00:12:27,488 --> 00:12:29,155 I love it. All right. 345 00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:32,192 I'm gonna GryzzlPad out of here. 346 00:12:32,226 --> 00:12:33,226 Later, chillerz. 347 00:12:37,162 --> 00:12:39,130 This is The Perdples Court, 348 00:12:39,164 --> 00:12:42,200 a legal debate show about issues facing residents 349 00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:43,701 of Southern Indiana. 350 00:12:43,735 --> 00:12:46,738 With your host, Judge Perd Hapley. 351 00:12:46,772 --> 00:12:48,506 Tonight, on The Perdples Court, 352 00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:50,508 we will have the guests that have been booked 353 00:12:50,542 --> 00:12:51,943 for tonight's show-- 354 00:12:51,977 --> 00:12:54,679 the plaintiff, Leslie Knope, who has some big allegations 355 00:12:54,713 --> 00:12:55,813 against Gryzzl. 356 00:12:55,848 --> 00:12:57,882 The defendant, Gryzzl Vice President 357 00:12:57,916 --> 00:12:59,350 Roscoe Santangelo. 358 00:12:59,385 --> 00:13:01,152 Who will win? I don't know yet. 359 00:13:01,186 --> 00:13:03,121 Which is what makes this a court show. 360 00:13:03,155 --> 00:13:05,223 We have public opinion on our side, 361 00:13:05,257 --> 00:13:07,291 and we have proof that Gryzzl has been data-mining. 362 00:13:07,326 --> 00:13:08,960 But there's one more thing we need. 363 00:13:08,994 --> 00:13:13,264 The one thing that Americans respect more than anything else: 364 00:13:13,298 --> 00:13:16,634 public humiliation on live television. 365 00:13:16,668 --> 00:13:19,604 Leslie, don't humiliate yourself on television. 366 00:13:19,638 --> 00:13:20,938 Swanson, what are you doing here? 367 00:13:20,973 --> 00:13:23,841 This is the 27th version of the Pawnee-Gryzzl 368 00:13:23,876 --> 00:13:26,177 free wireless internet thing agreement. 369 00:13:26,211 --> 00:13:28,413 Check out the page I marked. 370 00:13:28,447 --> 00:13:31,049 Yeah, "Gryzzl is not allowed to collect and use customer data 371 00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:33,518 for any purpose." It's pretty clear. See? 372 00:13:33,552 --> 00:13:37,088 Look closer, amendment "C," addendum 14. 373 00:13:37,122 --> 00:13:41,092 It directs you to this appendix, which reroutes you to this one 374 00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:44,595 which says, in a sub-footnote: 375 00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:45,697 It says here they can gather and use 376 00:13:45,731 --> 00:13:47,598 any information they want. 377 00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:49,400 How did I miss this? 378 00:13:49,435 --> 00:13:50,601 Look at the revision date. 379 00:13:50,636 --> 00:13:53,371 December 18, 2015. 380 00:13:53,405 --> 00:13:56,641 That was the opening day of Star Wars: Episode VII. 381 00:13:56,675 --> 00:13:59,077 You were muttering that date in your sleep for months. 382 00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:02,013 They knew you'd be distracted. That's how they slipped it in. 383 00:14:02,047 --> 00:14:03,614 I did this to the town. 384 00:14:03,649 --> 00:14:05,383 It's my fault. 385 00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:09,654 It's Ice Town all over again. 386 00:14:09,688 --> 00:14:14,192 Is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy? 387 00:14:14,226 --> 00:14:16,594 Okay, this is what I can give you. 388 00:14:16,628 --> 00:14:19,797 No more janitorial duties, better parking spot, 389 00:14:19,832 --> 00:14:22,600 unlimited Mike and Ikes from the vending machine, 390 00:14:22,634 --> 00:14:25,036 and for salary, we're at 500 a week. 391 00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:26,504 500 whats? 392 00:14:26,538 --> 00:14:28,039 Dollars, man. 393 00:14:28,073 --> 00:14:29,507 What about the rights to Johnny Karate? 394 00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:30,808 We own the rights to Johnny Karate 395 00:14:30,843 --> 00:14:32,110 I can't bend on that one. 396 00:14:32,144 --> 00:14:33,578 But I invented the character. 397 00:14:33,612 --> 00:14:34,579 Well, invent another character. 398 00:14:34,613 --> 00:14:37,415 Uh, here you go: Kung-Fu Billy. 399 00:14:37,449 --> 00:14:38,850 Jeremy Punch-Guy. 400 00:14:38,884 --> 00:14:40,151 Ed Kick. 401 00:14:40,185 --> 00:14:42,120 Those are actually pretty great. 402 00:14:42,154 --> 00:14:44,589 But Johnny Karate is special to me. 403 00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:48,593 If we can't get the rights, I'm gonna walk. 404 00:14:48,627 --> 00:14:50,495 He's making the biggest mistake of his life. 405 00:14:50,529 --> 00:14:52,196 He's walking out on Hank Muntak? 406 00:14:52,231 --> 00:14:54,365 I have six Lower Great Lakes Emmy Awards. 407 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,401 I once sat in the original Batmobile. 408 00:14:56,435 --> 00:14:59,670 James Woods follows my niece on Twitter. 409 00:14:59,705 --> 00:15:01,072 He's gonna regret this. 410 00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:03,141 All this work, everything I've done 411 00:15:03,175 --> 00:15:05,376 for this city, it's all a wash now. 412 00:15:05,411 --> 00:15:06,778 Everyone's gonna hate me again. 413 00:15:06,812 --> 00:15:08,546 Some of us are already there, Wyatt. 414 00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:11,816 This is not your fault. Ron, talk some sense into him. 415 00:15:11,850 --> 00:15:14,185 Ben's right. This is Ice Town all over again. 416 00:15:14,219 --> 00:15:15,319 - I-- - Ron! 417 00:15:15,354 --> 00:15:16,587 If you're gonna sign 418 00:15:16,622 --> 00:15:17,956 a legally binding document, 419 00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:19,557 you need to read it thoroughly. 420 00:15:19,591 --> 00:15:21,292 That's why the only contract I've ever signed 421 00:15:21,326 --> 00:15:23,861 is my Mulligan's Steakhouse club card. 422 00:15:23,896 --> 00:15:26,197 And even then, I used a fake name. 423 00:15:26,231 --> 00:15:27,532 Les. 424 00:15:27,566 --> 00:15:29,400 Les Vegetables. 425 00:15:29,435 --> 00:15:30,702 Don't worry, okay? 426 00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:32,370 You're not gonna take the fall for this. 427 00:15:32,404 --> 00:15:35,339 Ron, make sure that Donna doesn't hurt him. 428 00:15:36,775 --> 00:15:37,909 You wanted to see me? 429 00:15:37,943 --> 00:15:40,011 Yes, can you tell me where Jennifer is? 430 00:15:40,045 --> 00:15:41,279 I convincer her to quit. 431 00:15:41,313 --> 00:15:43,414 Martha Stewarts apron line, 432 00:15:43,449 --> 00:15:46,050 my tomato plants-- oh, God, I'm out! 433 00:15:46,085 --> 00:15:47,318 Where is my emergency list? 434 00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:49,087 Recently, I've been feeling 435 00:15:49,121 --> 00:15:51,489 like I've wasted the last ten years of my life, 436 00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:53,224 and it all started with this internship, 437 00:15:53,258 --> 00:15:56,227 and I don't want those kids to make the same mistake, okay? 438 00:15:56,261 --> 00:15:58,796 April, you spent the last ten years doing amazing things 439 00:15:58,831 --> 00:16:00,231 with this Parks department, and learning 440 00:16:00,265 --> 00:16:01,966 from the greatest teacher in this or any business, 441 00:16:02,001 --> 00:16:03,768 Leslie Freaking Knope! 442 00:16:03,802 --> 00:16:05,403 You'd be a checkout girl at a gas station 443 00:16:05,437 --> 00:16:07,739 if it wasn't for that internship. 444 00:16:09,475 --> 00:16:11,909 Sweet potato pie, unlikely animal friend pairings, 445 00:16:11,944 --> 00:16:14,278 Jennifer Love Hewitt. 446 00:16:14,313 --> 00:16:15,880 You're lucky to have worked here, 447 00:16:15,914 --> 00:16:18,182 no matter what you want to do with the rest of your life. 448 00:16:18,217 --> 00:16:20,351 And I think you know that. 449 00:16:20,386 --> 00:16:25,423 And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a new intern. 450 00:16:25,457 --> 00:16:27,825 Now Leslie, I understand that what you've brought 451 00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:30,061 to the show isn't a box of objects 452 00:16:30,095 --> 00:16:32,897 but rather a symbolic box of allegations. 453 00:16:32,931 --> 00:16:36,234 - Well, Perd-- - It's "Judge Perd." 454 00:16:36,268 --> 00:16:39,070 Okay, uh, I think there are certain questions 455 00:16:39,104 --> 00:16:44,509 about certain aspects of certain parts of this situation 456 00:16:44,543 --> 00:16:49,614 that require an evaluation about whether or not 457 00:16:49,648 --> 00:16:52,583 this is or is not a valid argument. 458 00:16:52,618 --> 00:16:54,319 Extremely well-put. 459 00:16:54,353 --> 00:16:56,020 Excuse me, Judge Perd? 460 00:16:56,055 --> 00:16:57,822 I'm Ben Wyatt, City Manager. 461 00:16:57,856 --> 00:17:00,658 What Gryzzl is doing with our private information 462 00:17:00,692 --> 00:17:05,596 may not technically be illegal, but it's definitely not chill. 463 00:17:05,631 --> 00:17:08,199 Whoa! That's a serious allegaysh, homie. 464 00:17:08,233 --> 00:17:09,400 We are hella chill. 465 00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:11,836 And frankly, if you don't like our vibe, 466 00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:13,204 you don't have to use our shizz. 467 00:17:13,238 --> 00:17:15,139 Well, we kind of do. 468 00:17:15,174 --> 00:17:17,075 I mean, the internet is no longer optional, 469 00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:19,544 it's a necessity for everyone. 470 00:17:19,578 --> 00:17:22,714 And I think you do know that data-mining isn't chill, 471 00:17:22,748 --> 00:17:25,850 because you snuck it into the 27th update 472 00:17:25,884 --> 00:17:29,821 of a 500-page user agreement. 473 00:17:29,855 --> 00:17:33,291 A person should not have to have an advanced law degree 474 00:17:33,325 --> 00:17:35,126 to avoid being taken advantage of 475 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,862 by a multibillion dollar company. 476 00:17:37,896 --> 00:17:41,065 You should be upfront about what you're doing 477 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:44,969 and allow people the ability to opt out. 478 00:17:45,004 --> 00:17:49,707 To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. 479 00:17:49,742 --> 00:17:52,677 I've also misplaced my judge hammer. 480 00:17:52,711 --> 00:17:54,245 I cannot render a verdict here. 481 00:17:54,279 --> 00:17:57,615 Therefore, I must declare a mistrial, which is a term 482 00:17:57,649 --> 00:18:00,118 I've heard people use in the movies. 483 00:18:00,152 --> 00:18:02,453 Tap, tap, tap. Case ended. 484 00:18:02,488 --> 00:18:04,188 And we're clear. 485 00:18:04,223 --> 00:18:05,307 All right, later, dudes. 486 00:18:09,244 --> 00:18:11,309 Hey, good news! I think I found a job. 487 00:18:11,429 --> 00:18:12,310 There was an opening 488 00:18:12,345 --> 00:18:13,310 for a janitor at the TV station. 489 00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:15,013 Get this--they're gonna pay me the minimum wage. 490 00:18:15,047 --> 00:18:16,815 Put your mop down, bud. 491 00:18:16,849 --> 00:18:18,183 I got you the rights to Johnny Karate. 492 00:18:18,217 --> 00:18:19,884 No way! How? 493 00:18:20,297 --> 00:18:21,897 Just a great agent I guess. 494 00:18:21,932 --> 00:18:23,633 Please, man, please! 495 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,901 Andy's my friend, and I want to do a good job, 496 00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:27,403 and there's this girl I really like, 497 00:18:27,437 --> 00:18:30,506 and she lives in Chicago, and she's still dating someone, 498 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,008 - and I just feel like-- - Oh, God. 499 00:18:32,042 --> 00:18:33,576 Do you want to eat at my restaurant for free? 500 00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:35,544 Every week, you could come once a week, and it's free. 501 00:18:35,579 --> 00:18:38,047 Okay, okay, fine. J-just stop! 502 00:18:38,081 --> 00:18:40,216 See? 503 00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:41,584 I told you it was gonna work out. 504 00:18:41,618 --> 00:18:42,952 That's actually really good advice for anything. 505 00:18:42,986 --> 00:18:45,755 If there's something that you want badly, 506 00:18:45,789 --> 00:18:48,624 you just have to believe that it's gonna work out. 507 00:18:51,094 --> 00:18:55,197 Hey, I am sorry that I screwed up your life. 508 00:18:55,232 --> 00:18:58,601 I found a bunch of new potential interns to replace Jen. 509 00:18:58,635 --> 00:18:59,669 Hi. 510 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:00,870 How'd you manage that? 511 00:19:00,904 --> 00:19:03,072 I just thought, "What would Leslie do?" 512 00:19:03,106 --> 00:19:06,742 So I handed out flyers and I canvassed the college. 513 00:19:06,777 --> 00:19:08,544 I even baked a bunch of cookies. 514 00:19:08,578 --> 00:19:11,647 It was weird, I actually enjoyed finding them. 515 00:19:11,681 --> 00:19:14,216 And I enjoyed bullying Jen into quitting. 516 00:19:14,251 --> 00:19:16,171 Hmm. You should add "telling people what to do" 517 00:19:16,186 --> 00:19:17,920 to your "perfect job" description. 518 00:19:17,954 --> 00:19:19,221 Good idea. 519 00:19:19,256 --> 00:19:20,990 You should up your therapy to seven times a week, 520 00:19:21,024 --> 00:19:23,759 stop dressing that way, and give me your wallet. 521 00:19:23,794 --> 00:19:27,563 Victor Garber, James Garner, Jennifer Garner. 522 00:19:27,597 --> 00:19:29,265 I go alphabetical now. 523 00:19:30,467 --> 00:19:32,435 Hey, you're back! How was the trip? 524 00:19:32,469 --> 00:19:35,071 It was okay. Kind of weird. 525 00:19:35,105 --> 00:19:36,605 Oh. Weird couple of days for me too. 526 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,208 Closed a bunch of deals, did a bunch of crunches... 527 00:19:39,242 --> 00:19:41,777 Yeah, I broke up with Conrad. 528 00:19:41,812 --> 00:19:45,314 Which was a long time coming, but still weird. 529 00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:48,084 So yeah, uh, do you want to talk about it? 530 00:19:48,118 --> 00:19:50,753 Thanks. I don't think I'm ready to discuss it just yet. 531 00:19:50,787 --> 00:19:53,389 But what I would like to do is have a glass of wine 532 00:19:53,423 --> 00:19:54,957 and talk about that shade Nicki Minaj 533 00:19:54,992 --> 00:19:56,926 threw at Jesse Eisenberg at the BAFTA awards. 534 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,995 - Mm. He deserved it. - No. he didn't! 535 00:19:59,029 --> 00:20:00,396 Uh, settle in, 536 00:20:00,430 --> 00:20:02,999 because I have some very strong feelings about this. 537 00:20:04,534 --> 00:20:06,535 They're all down. 538 00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:08,638 Thank God. Sometimes I think they're 539 00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:10,506 somehow the first humans who don't need sleep. 540 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:12,808 Look, this Gryzzl thing, it's complicated. 541 00:20:12,843 --> 00:20:15,277 But this isn't Ice Town. 542 00:20:15,312 --> 00:20:16,912 You have done so much for this town, 543 00:20:16,947 --> 00:20:18,981 and people know that. 544 00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:20,449 I'm just sorry we couldn't find something 545 00:20:20,484 --> 00:20:21,951 illegal on Gryzzl. 546 00:20:21,985 --> 00:20:23,719 If we're gonna stop them, and you're gonna beat them 547 00:20:23,754 --> 00:20:26,622 on the Newport land, we need more ammo. 548 00:20:32,162 --> 00:20:34,096 We need to talk. 549 00:20:34,131 --> 00:20:35,331 What is that? 550 00:20:35,365 --> 00:20:38,100 This is a flying robot I just shot out of the sky 551 00:20:38,135 --> 00:20:40,436 after it delivered a package to my house. 552 00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:43,239 I thought you didn't like to pass judgment on business-- 553 00:20:43,273 --> 00:20:46,142 - The package was addressed to my son, 554 00:20:46,176 --> 00:20:48,077 who is four years old, 555 00:20:48,111 --> 00:20:50,880 and does not own a Gryzzl doodad. 556 00:20:50,914 --> 00:20:53,393 Somehow the robots looked at Diane's computer 557 00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:55,247 and learned something about my child 558 00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:56,979 and then brought him a box of presents, 559 00:20:57,283 --> 00:20:59,079 so I destroyed the robot. 560 00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:01,712 No one is safe from these bastards. 561 00:21:02,103 --> 00:21:03,740 Tell me what to do, Leslie. 562 00:21:05,045 --> 00:21:06,703 I wanna help you take them down. 563 00:21:06,823 --> 00:21:10,571 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com