1 00:00:02,112 --> 00:00:04,046 [cheers and applause] 2 00:00:04,081 --> 00:00:07,750 It's The Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show. 3 00:00:07,785 --> 00:00:08,913 [cheers and applause] 4 00:00:09,065 --> 00:00:11,499 Now, to introduce your host, Johnny Karate, 5 00:00:11,534 --> 00:00:15,170 here is me, Perd Hapley! 6 00:00:16,472 --> 00:00:18,073 Silence! 7 00:00:18,107 --> 00:00:20,842 Welcome to the only show that's all about learning, 8 00:00:20,877 --> 00:00:23,445 music, animals, fireworks, water skis, 9 00:00:23,479 --> 00:00:26,648 and above all, ice cream, pizza, 10 00:00:26,682 --> 00:00:28,416 ninjas, getting stronger, 11 00:00:28,451 --> 00:00:30,785 sharks versus bears, and above all... 12 00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:32,988 karate! All: Hiya! 13 00:00:33,022 --> 00:00:35,924 Now, why don't you kids help me sing The Welcome Song! 14 00:00:35,958 --> 00:00:37,592 Let me just grab my guitar. 15 00:00:37,627 --> 00:00:39,361 [gasps] 16 00:00:39,395 --> 00:00:41,229 Someone has stolen my guitar. 17 00:00:41,264 --> 00:00:42,731 [all gasping] 18 00:00:42,765 --> 00:00:46,601 This seems like a case for Special Agent... 19 00:00:46,636 --> 00:00:47,569 Burt Macklin. 20 00:00:47,603 --> 00:00:53,308 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 21 00:00:53,342 --> 00:00:55,744 I don't give a crap, Batman. You work for me. 22 00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:59,448 Increase the perimeter! 23 00:00:59,482 --> 00:01:01,650 Macklin, the President's called six times. 24 00:01:01,684 --> 00:01:03,084 If we don't get that guitar back, 25 00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:04,719 the peace in Iraq will be canceled. 26 00:01:04,754 --> 00:01:06,354 Get off my back, Chief! 27 00:01:06,389 --> 00:01:07,756 I'm doing the best I can. 28 00:01:07,790 --> 00:01:09,991 I don't play by the rules. 29 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:11,593 But I get results. 30 00:01:11,627 --> 00:01:13,195 Dang it! You're right again, Macklin. 31 00:01:13,229 --> 00:01:14,462 And I'm sorry. 32 00:01:14,497 --> 00:01:15,897 You're the best agent I've seen. 33 00:01:15,932 --> 00:01:18,300 And I've worked with James Bond. 34 00:01:18,334 --> 00:01:19,401 - This clue may help. - Mm. 35 00:01:19,435 --> 00:01:21,536 It was left at the crime scene. 36 00:01:21,571 --> 00:01:23,471 You're dismissed. 37 00:01:23,506 --> 00:01:27,776 This case just keeps getting deeper and deeper. 38 00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:29,911 I'm drowning in the adult end of the pool, 39 00:01:29,946 --> 00:01:32,581 and the lifeguard's off in the bathroom pooping. 40 00:01:32,615 --> 00:01:35,517 [laughter] 41 00:01:35,551 --> 00:01:37,285 That's good writing. 42 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,321 Johnny Karate's guitar has been stolen. 43 00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:42,224 That instrument is worth literally $900 million. 44 00:01:42,258 --> 00:01:44,793 But more importantly, he can't play The Good-bye Song 45 00:01:44,827 --> 00:01:45,760 without it. 46 00:01:45,795 --> 00:01:47,329 So, by the time this show is over, 47 00:01:47,363 --> 00:01:49,531 I will find who stole it, and they will pay 48 00:01:49,565 --> 00:01:51,032 the ultimate price. 49 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:54,870 A one-way ticket to the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank! 50 00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:56,338 All that and more, 51 00:01:56,372 --> 00:02:01,409 on The Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show! 52 00:02:01,444 --> 00:02:04,713 ♪ It's time to punch boredom in its stupid face ♪ 53 00:02:04,747 --> 00:02:07,015 ♪ Jump, kick, punch, and jump ♪ 54 00:02:07,049 --> 00:02:10,151 ♪ And drop-kick sadness into outer space ♪ 55 00:02:10,186 --> 00:02:12,420 ♪ Punch, kick till you drop ♪ 56 00:02:12,455 --> 00:02:15,590 ♪ It's the Johnny Karate Super Awesome ♪ 57 00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:19,928 ♪ Musical Explosion Show ♪ 58 00:02:19,962 --> 00:02:21,563 So, karate masters, you are here 59 00:02:21,597 --> 00:02:24,466 for an extra-awesome and super-special episode 60 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:25,767 of Johnny Karate. 61 00:02:25,802 --> 00:02:27,536 [cheers and applause] 62 00:02:27,570 --> 00:02:30,005 And that is because it's my final show. 63 00:02:30,039 --> 00:02:31,873 All: Aw. 64 00:02:31,908 --> 00:02:33,308 Don't look glum. 65 00:02:33,342 --> 00:02:36,244 In a couple of weeks, I'll be moving to Washington, D.C. 66 00:02:36,279 --> 00:02:39,681 It's the capital of the entire world. 67 00:02:39,715 --> 00:02:42,851 They have things there like this white house 68 00:02:42,885 --> 00:02:46,188 and this mental institution 69 00:02:46,222 --> 00:02:48,824 and my very favorite, the Lincoln Memorial. 70 00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:51,993 It's this crazy statue of this giant monster 71 00:02:52,028 --> 00:02:53,161 sitting on a chair that represents 72 00:02:53,196 --> 00:02:54,596 all of America's enemies. 73 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:55,897 I'll be moving to Washington, D.C., 74 00:02:55,932 --> 00:02:57,966 because my wife, April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer, 75 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,501 has accepted an amazing job there. 76 00:02:59,535 --> 00:03:01,937 I'm very proud of her and totally in love. 77 00:03:01,971 --> 00:03:04,773 April, why don't you come on out and talk to the children? 78 00:03:04,807 --> 00:03:06,174 Take a bow for being so cool. 79 00:03:06,209 --> 00:03:08,477 Hey, Johnny! 80 00:03:08,511 --> 00:03:10,946 So, since it's your final show, I wanted to do 81 00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:14,349 one last extra-special April's Animal Corner. 82 00:03:14,383 --> 00:03:15,617 [children gasp] 83 00:03:15,651 --> 00:03:17,152 That's right. 84 00:03:17,186 --> 00:03:19,955 This week I brought one of the scariest, 85 00:03:19,989 --> 00:03:22,624 weirdest animals in the whole world-- 86 00:03:22,658 --> 00:03:25,427 a goliath bird-eating tarantula. 87 00:03:25,461 --> 00:03:27,229 All: Wow! 88 00:03:27,263 --> 00:03:28,764 Ah! 89 00:03:28,798 --> 00:03:31,233 Now, the name, "goliath" means "giant." 90 00:03:31,267 --> 00:03:34,503 And you can see that-- 91 00:03:34,537 --> 00:03:36,638 - Andy, where is it? - What? 92 00:03:36,672 --> 00:03:38,173 - Uh-oh. - Where is it? 93 00:03:38,207 --> 00:03:39,441 Don't look at me. I don't know what happened. 94 00:03:39,475 --> 00:03:41,243 I took it out to play hide-and-seek. 95 00:03:41,277 --> 00:03:42,477 I couldn't find it, and then-- 96 00:03:42,512 --> 00:03:43,845 Oh, that's what happened. 97 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,681 Okay, well, once again, April's Animal Corner 98 00:03:46,716 --> 00:03:49,651 has turned into one of our favorite segments-- 99 00:03:49,685 --> 00:03:51,486 Loose Animal in the Studio. 100 00:03:51,521 --> 00:03:52,754 Yay! 101 00:03:52,789 --> 00:03:54,756 And as always, when we accidentally end up 102 00:03:54,791 --> 00:03:56,324 doing Loose Animal in the Studio, 103 00:03:56,359 --> 00:03:58,927 we have to show you this disclaimer. 104 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:00,629 Boring! 105 00:04:00,663 --> 00:04:02,564 Here's a disclaimer, I didn't read this disclaimer. 106 00:04:02,598 --> 00:04:04,099 [blows raspberry] 107 00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:06,234 Ooh, good point. 108 00:04:06,269 --> 00:04:08,069 Okay. Done. 109 00:04:08,104 --> 00:04:10,172 Okay, kids, so be on the lookout for a-- 110 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,339 What's it called? 111 00:04:11,374 --> 00:04:13,875 A goliath bird-eating tarantula, 112 00:04:13,910 --> 00:04:17,379 known locally to Venezuelans as "the devil's fist." 113 00:04:17,413 --> 00:04:20,182 Bye, kids! 114 00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,384 Okay, kids, well, we've got a lot of work to do, 115 00:04:22,418 --> 00:04:25,253 performing the Five Karate Moves to Success. 116 00:04:25,288 --> 00:04:27,022 Sing it with me! 117 00:04:27,056 --> 00:04:29,357 ♪ Today we're gonna make something ♪ 118 00:04:29,392 --> 00:04:30,959 ♪ Learn something ♪ 119 00:04:30,993 --> 00:04:33,929 ♪ Karate chop something ♪ 120 00:04:33,963 --> 00:04:35,664 ♪ And then we'll try something new ♪ 121 00:04:35,698 --> 00:04:37,265 ♪ Even if it's scary to you ♪ 122 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,134 ♪ And finally we'll have some fun ♪ 123 00:04:39,168 --> 00:04:40,469 ♪ Being nice to someone ♪ 124 00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:46,274 ♪ Because that's the Johnny Karate way ♪ 125 00:04:46,309 --> 00:04:48,477 Step one-- let's go make something. 126 00:04:48,511 --> 00:04:50,212 [upbeat music] 127 00:04:53,316 --> 00:04:54,749 Hello, Carpenter Ron. 128 00:04:54,784 --> 00:04:55,984 How are you doing? 129 00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:57,486 My contract is very specific. 130 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,855 I do not have to answer that question. 131 00:04:59,889 --> 00:05:02,390 This week I am making a shadowbox frame, 132 00:05:02,425 --> 00:05:06,027 which can be used to display an object of great value. 133 00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:08,897 This one is constructed with American cherry wood. 134 00:05:08,931 --> 00:05:11,666 Cherry, huh? Now, I have just one question-- 135 00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:13,401 No, the wood does not taste like cherry. 136 00:05:13,436 --> 00:05:14,536 You cannot eat it. 137 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:16,505 I was not going to eat it, Carpenter Ron. 138 00:05:16,539 --> 00:05:18,573 I was going to lick it. 139 00:05:18,608 --> 00:05:20,876 Always remember, kids, when you find something new, 140 00:05:20,910 --> 00:05:23,445 you must lick it before you eat it. 141 00:05:23,479 --> 00:05:25,040 That is incorrect in a number of ways. 142 00:05:25,048 --> 00:05:26,348 [groans] 143 00:05:26,382 --> 00:05:29,184 I sure have had some fun making things with you, son. 144 00:05:29,218 --> 00:05:30,819 Thank you for everything you've done 145 00:05:30,853 --> 00:05:32,220 for the children of this area. 146 00:05:32,255 --> 00:05:33,522 You're welcome, Carpenter Ron. 147 00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:36,625 Hey, kids, this, to me, seems like a... 148 00:05:36,659 --> 00:05:38,326 ♪ Hug moment ♪ 149 00:05:38,361 --> 00:05:41,897 You are mistaken. Remove the graphic. 150 00:05:41,931 --> 00:05:44,966 Well, kids, it's time for our next "Karate Move to Success." 151 00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:46,501 Let's learn something. 152 00:05:46,536 --> 00:05:47,969 ♪ ♪ 153 00:05:51,107 --> 00:05:53,275 Hello, Professor Smartbrain. 154 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:54,576 Hi, Johnny. 155 00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:56,044 Listen, I don't know if you got my email, 156 00:05:56,078 --> 00:05:58,080 but I thought that since this is our final show, 157 00:05:58,114 --> 00:05:59,614 maybe we not use the-- 158 00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:00,882 [buzzer sounds] 159 00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:01,850 Boring buzzer. 160 00:06:01,884 --> 00:06:05,187 [laughter] 161 00:06:05,221 --> 00:06:08,290 Okay, kids, today we're gonna learn about geography. 162 00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:11,426 Now, you, Johnny, are moving to Washington, D.C. 163 00:06:11,461 --> 00:06:13,862 I thought what we could talk about is how fast 164 00:06:13,896 --> 00:06:19,134 you could get there using an airplane, a train, or a car. 165 00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:22,838 Now, as you can see, the airplane is the fastest. 166 00:06:22,872 --> 00:06:25,207 Not the fastest. What about teleporting? 167 00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:27,943 Well, sure, that would be really fun, 168 00:06:27,977 --> 00:06:29,578 but it's impossible. 169 00:06:29,612 --> 00:06:32,681 Nothing is impossible, kids. 170 00:06:32,715 --> 00:06:35,150 Teleportation is impossible. 171 00:06:35,184 --> 00:06:36,318 It's about theoretical physics. 172 00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:38,186 [buzzer sounds] 173 00:06:38,221 --> 00:06:40,222 You know, you asked me to do this. This was a favor-- 174 00:06:40,256 --> 00:06:43,091 [buzzer sounds] 175 00:06:44,127 --> 00:06:45,861 Morning, Johnny. Mail call. 176 00:06:45,895 --> 00:06:48,830 [all cheering] 177 00:06:48,865 --> 00:06:50,131 Ya! 178 00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:51,533 Hi, Mailman Barry. 179 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:52,734 Who brought me mail today? 180 00:06:52,769 --> 00:06:55,704 Well, Johnny, you got over 500 letters 181 00:06:55,738 --> 00:06:58,039 from kids who love you, asking for you and April to stay. 182 00:06:58,074 --> 00:07:00,776 - Aw, babe, did you hear that? - [chuckles] 183 00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:03,478 Now, Johnny, you also got one very special letter. 184 00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:04,846 It's from me. 185 00:07:04,881 --> 00:07:06,915 And on the last day of your show, 186 00:07:06,949 --> 00:07:08,083 I thought I could read it to you. 187 00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:10,152 All: Aw. 188 00:07:10,186 --> 00:07:14,055 "Dearest Andy, I have never had a son of my own, 189 00:07:14,090 --> 00:07:16,258 and I just want you to know that for the past ten years"-- 190 00:07:16,292 --> 00:07:18,126 It's time to karate chop something! 191 00:07:18,161 --> 00:07:19,661 ♪ ♪ 192 00:07:22,699 --> 00:07:24,866 Ninjas, attack! 193 00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:26,902 Oh, jeez. 194 00:07:26,936 --> 00:07:30,138 [all grunting, shouting] 195 00:07:30,173 --> 00:07:32,040 Disperse! 196 00:07:32,075 --> 00:07:34,409 Remember, never attack a real postal employee. 197 00:07:34,444 --> 00:07:35,911 We're allowed to attack Mailman Barry 198 00:07:35,945 --> 00:07:38,413 because he volunteered to help us with our karate moves. 199 00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:40,182 I kind of thought I'd be holding a piece of wood 200 00:07:40,216 --> 00:07:42,184 or something, but, you know... 201 00:07:42,218 --> 00:07:43,451 always happy to help. 202 00:07:43,486 --> 00:07:45,126 Next up, we're going to try something new, 203 00:07:45,154 --> 00:07:46,434 with my good friend Leslie Knope. 204 00:07:46,456 --> 00:07:48,190 ♪ ♪ 205 00:07:50,893 --> 00:07:52,661 Hey, Johnny Karate, I'm so happy to be here 206 00:07:52,695 --> 00:07:54,596 on your last show ever. 207 00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:55,897 Hi, Leslie. I'm glad you're here 208 00:07:55,932 --> 00:07:58,266 to teach us all how to be brave. 209 00:07:58,301 --> 00:08:00,402 So, Leslie, what are you going to be trying new this week? 210 00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:03,972 I am going to be taking over hosting my friend's TV show. 211 00:08:04,006 --> 00:08:04,973 Huh? 212 00:08:05,007 --> 00:08:06,475 Isn't that right, April? 213 00:08:06,509 --> 00:08:08,276 That is right. 214 00:08:08,311 --> 00:08:10,445 Johnny, you have made so many kids 215 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,248 and so many parents so happy, that we wanted to give you 216 00:08:13,282 --> 00:08:14,616 a proper send-off. 217 00:08:14,650 --> 00:08:17,352 Andy Dwyer/Johnny Karate, 218 00:08:17,387 --> 00:08:21,289 this is your life. 219 00:08:21,324 --> 00:08:25,594 Oh, my gosh, Leslie, this is amazing. 220 00:08:25,628 --> 00:08:27,863 I don't know what to say... 221 00:08:27,897 --> 00:08:29,765 literally, because normally I have a script 222 00:08:29,799 --> 00:08:32,401 that I have to stick to, but... 223 00:08:32,435 --> 00:08:35,570 I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now. 224 00:08:35,605 --> 00:08:36,805 It's kind of a nightmare. 225 00:08:36,839 --> 00:08:38,940 Okay, you leave that to us, Johnny. 226 00:08:38,975 --> 00:08:41,009 Uh, when we come back, we will take a look 227 00:08:41,044 --> 00:08:42,978 at the journey of Andy Dwyer. 228 00:08:43,012 --> 00:08:44,413 Stay tuned. 229 00:08:44,447 --> 00:08:47,282 "Now listen to some words from our sponsors," 230 00:08:47,316 --> 00:08:51,286 are the words I'm saying right now. 231 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,789 Hire Very Good Building Company 232 00:08:53,823 --> 00:08:55,223 for your construction needs. 233 00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:56,224 Or do not. 234 00:08:56,259 --> 00:08:58,393 I am not a beggar. 235 00:09:13,242 --> 00:09:14,643 End of commercial. 236 00:09:17,826 --> 00:09:19,858 The Wamapoke people have a saying-- 237 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,461 "Only one who listens hears the cry of the wolf." 238 00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:23,862 [wolf howling] 239 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,432 That advice has been passed down from generation to generation. 240 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,235 Today I give that advice to you. 241 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,372 Listen for Coinsy the Wolf at Wamapoke Casino. 242 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,675 Twice a day, one lucky visitor will hit the mega-wolf jackpot. 243 00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:39,077 And Coinsy will howl for you! 244 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,047 [siren wailing and wolf howling] 245 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,657 [chuckles] 246 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,258 The thing we return to now 247 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,361 is my Johnny Karate Show return message. 248 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,596 [all cheering] 249 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,331 Welcome back. When I first met the man 250 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,767 standing next to me, he was not a cultural phenomenon. 251 00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,604 "Phenomenon" means "to explore a cave." 252 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,172 He was going through a tough time. 253 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:10,108 He had just broken both legs from falling into a pit. 254 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,443 I was super wasted. 255 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:12,878 - It's a kids' show, Andy. - Yes, good call. 256 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,279 - Kids' show. - Good call. 257 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:18,150 That event set in motion many wonderful things in my life, 258 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,785 including the building of the Pawnee Commons. 259 00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:24,189 So, in a weird way, Andy, I owe it all to you. 260 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,224 And now that the show is ending, 261 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,658 I'm gonna have to start all over again. 262 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,827 Hopefully there's a pit in Washington, D.C., 263 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,062 that I could fall into. 264 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:32,798 Andy pulled his life together, and he got himself a job 265 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,134 at the shoe-shine stand in City Hall. 266 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,703 He then became a bureaucratic assistant. 267 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,004 - Hi, honey. - Hey. Hi. 268 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,939 He was always enthusiastic. 269 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,674 But he also kept track of his appointments 270 00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,710 by writing them on his arm. 271 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,145 Still do. 272 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,446 To commemorate that time and to make sure 273 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,515 that you never miss another appointment again, 274 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:53,318 we have brought you a monogrammed day planner. 275 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,486 [gasps] 276 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:55,554 Guys... 277 00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,156 So sweet. 278 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,157 Thank you. 279 00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,892 Aw. 280 00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,660 Oh, no. I lost it. 281 00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:02,995 The day planner's gone. I can't find it anywhere. 282 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:06,131 What? 283 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,866 Fitting, really. 284 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,736 From then, Andy went to England for a few months 285 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,371 to work for a nonprofit. 286 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,906 It was there that he befriended 287 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,708 the 14th Earl of Cornwall-upon-Thames, 288 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:17,709 Sir Edgar Covington. 289 00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,411 Ta-da! 290 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,580 Oh, my God, Eddie, this is amazing! 291 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,049 [laughs] 292 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:27,619 Andy, I am here in this weird, flat place, 293 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:32,057 to name you a loyal and true karate defender 294 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,058 of the Queen's Realm. 295 00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:36,428 [regal music] 296 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,764 Please get down on one knee. 297 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:42,201 This honor is bestowed on those who have shown great achievement 298 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:46,205 in fields of the arts, learning, literature, and science. 299 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,308 Therefore, I hereby dub thee 300 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,811 a knight of the Order of the British Empire. 301 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,280 Hang on, can you actually do this? 302 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,282 Well, technically, only the Queen can knight somebody, 303 00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,219 but I'm so rich that she lets me do what I want. 304 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,787 Would you like to be knighted? 305 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,222 Oh, no, no, no, no. 306 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,190 No, of course not. It's Andy's day. 307 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,225 Dude, I don't mind. 308 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,539 Oh, then, yes, knight me, please. 309 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,628 Oh, my God, this is amazing! 310 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:12,498 Winter is coming for Sir Ben Lightstorm. 311 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,799 Okay, you're both knights. 312 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:14,800 Cool. 313 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:17,236 Guys, this was so much fun. 314 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,672 Friend, coworker, musician, husband, Andy Dwyer-- 315 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:21,874 Sir Andy Dwyer. 316 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,776 Sir Andy Dwyer had become so many things 317 00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:24,877 to so many people. 318 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,912 But his greatest creation was yet to come. 319 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:30,015 A salute to Johnny Karate when we come back. 320 00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,285 We know what you want-- 321 00:12:34,319 --> 00:12:36,720 healthy, natural food that still tastes great. 322 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,822 And we're here to tell you... 323 00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:38,822 [record scratches] 324 00:12:38,857 --> 00:12:41,459 It doesn't exist. 325 00:12:41,493 --> 00:12:43,093 Healthy food is for suckers. 326 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:44,528 It tastes like garbage, 327 00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:47,031 and if you say you like it, you're a chump and a liar. 328 00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:49,366 Be honest. This is what you want to eat... 329 00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:53,637 It tastes amazing. 330 00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:55,372 What's in it? Who cares? 331 00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:56,964 How many calories? Shut up. 332 00:12:57,084 --> 00:12:58,943 It's awesome. 333 00:13:05,172 --> 00:13:07,006 One of Andy's greatest achievements 334 00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:09,082 was the success of his band, Mouse Rat. 335 00:13:09,202 --> 00:13:11,025 No one was doing what we were doing. 336 00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,160 Well, that's not really true. 337 00:13:12,194 --> 00:13:13,395 I mean, we were basically playing covers 338 00:13:13,429 --> 00:13:14,829 of Dave Matthews songs. 339 00:13:14,864 --> 00:13:17,198 So I guess you could say Dave Matthews 340 00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:18,767 was doing what we were doing. 341 00:13:18,801 --> 00:13:21,169 Oh, to play in a band like Mouse Rat 342 00:13:21,203 --> 00:13:23,838 that brought such joy to so many 343 00:13:23,873 --> 00:13:26,508 truly was a mitzvah. 344 00:13:26,542 --> 00:13:28,710 I should mention I'm a rabbi now. 345 00:13:28,744 --> 00:13:30,412 For the full rockumentary, go to 346 00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:33,782 TheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesome MusicalExplosion.com. 347 00:13:33,816 --> 00:13:35,583 And now, back to the show. 348 00:13:35,618 --> 00:13:38,486 [upbeat music] 349 00:13:38,521 --> 00:13:39,521 ♪ ♪ 350 00:13:39,555 --> 00:13:41,689 Every hero struggles with failure, 351 00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,958 faces something they cannot do. 352 00:13:43,993 --> 00:13:46,227 Andy faced one of those moments just a few years ago. 353 00:13:46,262 --> 00:13:48,530 And I would've chugged that entire gallon of milk 354 00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:50,465 had I not started puking out of nowhere. 355 00:13:50,499 --> 00:13:52,133 No, you did not achieve your dream 356 00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:54,269 of becoming a Pawnee police officer. 357 00:13:54,303 --> 00:13:55,303 Oh, right. 358 00:13:55,337 --> 00:13:56,705 But you did create Burt Macklin, 359 00:13:56,739 --> 00:13:59,307 a character who exemplifies everything that is great 360 00:13:59,341 --> 00:14:00,308 about law enforcement. 361 00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:01,843 Take a look. 362 00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:06,214 My name is rt Tyra. 363 00:14:06,248 --> 00:14:09,184 [funky music] 364 00:14:09,218 --> 00:14:12,687 ♪ 365 00:14:12,722 --> 00:14:14,289 I don't know what the problem is, Sergeant. 366 00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:16,391 Just drain the ocean. 367 00:14:16,425 --> 00:14:21,796 ♪ ♪ 368 00:14:21,831 --> 00:14:23,732 [bullet ricochets] 369 00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:26,768 [kids cheering] 370 00:14:28,804 --> 00:14:31,339 Andy, on behalf of the entire Pawnee Police Department, 371 00:14:31,373 --> 00:14:33,241 I'd like to present you with this genuine 372 00:14:33,275 --> 00:14:34,809 - Pawnee police badge. - Wow. 373 00:14:34,844 --> 00:14:37,011 It's ensconced forever in the shadowbox 374 00:14:37,046 --> 00:14:38,646 - we made earlier. - How about that? 375 00:14:38,681 --> 00:14:41,249 [glass shatters] No. 376 00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:44,018 Son, we spent four days making that. 377 00:14:44,053 --> 00:14:47,188 This means so, so much to me. 378 00:14:47,223 --> 00:14:48,323 I'm a cop. 379 00:14:48,357 --> 00:14:49,597 I should get some handcuffs too. 380 00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:51,026 - Give me your cuffs, Randy. - No, no, no. 381 00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,260 - Give me your cuffs. - It's an honorary title only. 382 00:14:52,294 --> 00:14:53,962 - Stand down, sir. - Stop it! Quit! 383 00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:55,363 Andy, now that you're an official police officer... 384 00:14:55,398 --> 00:14:56,965 He's not. I want to make it clear--he's not. 385 00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:59,834 You should be able to solve the case of the missing guitar. 386 00:14:59,869 --> 00:15:03,772 So grab your clue and head on over to Professor Smartbrain. 387 00:15:03,806 --> 00:15:04,906 [siren wails] 388 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:07,375 Professor Smartbrain, this piece of fabric 389 00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:08,743 was found at the scene. 390 00:15:08,778 --> 00:15:10,312 Look at it under your telescope. 391 00:15:10,346 --> 00:15:11,412 Hmm. 392 00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:13,448 It looks like there are some tiny initials. 393 00:15:13,482 --> 00:15:16,584 "J.C."? 394 00:15:16,619 --> 00:15:19,721 President Jimmy Carter stole my guitar? 395 00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:20,922 But why? 396 00:15:20,956 --> 00:15:23,725 I don't think it's Jimmy Carter, buddy. 397 00:15:23,759 --> 00:15:26,194 The champ is here! [cheers and applause] 398 00:15:26,228 --> 00:15:27,996 [gasps] 399 00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:29,998 Hi, kids, is everybody having a great time? 400 00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:31,566 [cheers and applause] 401 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,034 I know I am! 402 00:15:33,068 --> 00:15:34,536 John Cena in the house! 403 00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,438 John Cena, you're my hero. 404 00:15:36,472 --> 00:15:38,773 - Wait, you're Andy. - Yeah, I'm Andy. 405 00:15:38,808 --> 00:15:40,075 From the information I got, 406 00:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,810 I just assumed you'd be, like, ten years old. 407 00:15:41,844 --> 00:15:44,345 - Thank you. - Okay, great. Thank you. 408 00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:46,948 Thank you so much, man, for bringing martial arts 409 00:15:46,982 --> 00:15:49,117 and music to all the children-- 410 00:15:49,151 --> 00:15:50,385 Wait, wait, what are you doing, man? 411 00:15:50,419 --> 00:15:51,352 - Got you. - Got me? 412 00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:52,487 - What? - He got my cuffs. 413 00:15:52,521 --> 00:15:53,888 Wait. What the hell is this? 414 00:15:53,923 --> 00:15:55,690 John Cena, you're a great inspiration, a true hero, 415 00:15:55,725 --> 00:15:57,559 and this is the greatest moment of my life. 416 00:15:57,593 --> 00:15:58,526 But you're going down. 417 00:15:58,561 --> 00:15:59,561 Going down? What are you-- 418 00:15:59,562 --> 00:16:00,562 Whoa! Hey, stop-- 419 00:16:00,596 --> 00:16:01,629 You stole Johnny Karate's guitar. 420 00:16:01,664 --> 00:16:02,944 I didn't steal his guitar, man. 421 00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:04,065 I'm just doing this as a favor. 422 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,540 You're going in the dunk tank, bud. 423 00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:06,601 I don't want to go in the dunk tank. 424 00:16:06,635 --> 00:16:08,169 - Shut up. - Is anybody in charge? 425 00:16:08,204 --> 00:16:09,738 A little help? 426 00:16:09,772 --> 00:16:12,540 And now it's time to celebrate Andy Dwyer's greatest creation-- 427 00:16:12,575 --> 00:16:13,508 Johnny Karate. 428 00:16:13,542 --> 00:16:15,877 [kids cheering] 429 00:16:15,911 --> 00:16:18,880 He has brought so much happiness to so many children 430 00:16:18,914 --> 00:16:22,317 in southern Indiana that we thought a piece of Johnny Karate 431 00:16:22,351 --> 00:16:24,352 should stay here in Pawnee. 432 00:16:24,387 --> 00:16:27,322 [soulful rendition of Kung Fu Fighting plays] 433 00:16:27,356 --> 00:16:30,058 ♪ ♪ 434 00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:34,963 ♪ Everybody was Kung Fu fighting ♪ 435 00:16:34,997 --> 00:16:36,765 Raise it up. 436 00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:40,969 ♪ Those kicks were fast as lightning ♪ 437 00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:43,405 This is awesome. Can you believe it, babe? 438 00:16:43,439 --> 00:16:47,108 ♪ In fact, it was a little bit fritening ♪ 439 00:16:47,143 --> 00:16:50,178 That karate gi will stay here forever. 440 00:16:50,212 --> 00:16:52,747 Well, not here here, because this studio 441 00:16:52,782 --> 00:16:54,783 actually has a show where divorced couples 442 00:16:54,817 --> 00:16:56,217 work out their problems. 443 00:16:56,252 --> 00:16:57,686 So that might be weird if that thing was hanging over them. 444 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:58,853 But it'll be somewhere. 445 00:16:58,888 --> 00:17:03,758 And the spirit will stay with us forever. 446 00:17:03,793 --> 00:17:06,561 Andy Dwyer's final good-bye when we come back. 447 00:17:06,595 --> 00:17:09,764 [cheers and applause] 448 00:17:09,799 --> 00:17:10,765 [uplifting music] 449 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,100 What powers us? 450 00:17:12,134 --> 00:17:14,069 What gives us the tools to attain our goals, 451 00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:17,572 face our fears, take that next step into the unknown? 452 00:17:17,606 --> 00:17:19,340 It's energy. 453 00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:22,143 Verizon, Exxon, and Chipotle are proud to announce 454 00:17:22,178 --> 00:17:25,513 a cross-platform merger of our three great brands. 455 00:17:25,548 --> 00:17:27,916 Whether it's extending your 6G coverage, 456 00:17:27,950 --> 00:17:29,818 drilling natural gas out of shale, 457 00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:31,853 or perfecting the chicken quesadilla, 458 00:17:31,887 --> 00:17:35,223 we will give you the energy to get you to the next level. 459 00:17:35,257 --> 00:17:39,427 And with enough energy, America, nothing can stop us. 460 00:17:39,462 --> 00:17:42,564 The all-new Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon-- 461 00:17:42,598 --> 00:17:45,808 proud to be one of America's 8 companies. 462 00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,580 [acoustic guitar music] 463 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,615 I'd like to begin by saying thank you 464 00:17:54,649 --> 00:17:56,050 to anyone who has ever worked 465 00:17:56,084 --> 00:17:59,653 on the Johnny Karate Musical Explosion Show. 466 00:17:59,688 --> 00:18:02,623 This has been the greatest job I've ever had, 467 00:18:02,657 --> 00:18:05,659 and today has been the best day of my life. 468 00:18:05,694 --> 00:18:07,795 And that's saying something. 469 00:18:07,829 --> 00:18:10,431 I once found a rock that looked exactly like Santa Claus-- 470 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:13,033 hat and everything, so... 471 00:18:13,068 --> 00:18:15,469 Before I say good-bye, let's review our checklist 472 00:18:15,504 --> 00:18:16,604 one last time. 473 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,839 We made something with Carpenter Ron. 474 00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:21,142 We learned something with Professor Smartbrain. 475 00:18:21,176 --> 00:18:22,810 We karate chopped something-- 476 00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:24,745 old Mailman Barry's face. 477 00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:27,681 And we tried something new, even though it was scary to us, 478 00:18:27,716 --> 00:18:29,617 with Leslie Knope. 479 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:32,153 That leaves just one more thing, 480 00:18:32,187 --> 00:18:34,822 the most important one. 481 00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:37,625 Be nice to someone. 482 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:40,094 And I think I know right now who needs it the most-- 483 00:18:40,128 --> 00:18:44,899 my wife, April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer. 484 00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:47,001 Honey, come on out here. 485 00:18:47,035 --> 00:18:48,269 Come here. 486 00:18:48,303 --> 00:18:50,771 Babe. 487 00:18:50,806 --> 00:18:52,206 Hey, babe? 488 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,042 Wait! 489 00:18:55,076 --> 00:18:56,644 Honey, where are you going? 490 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,446 Babe, hey, will you-- 491 00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,547 Hey, come here. 492 00:18:59,581 --> 00:19:02,616 April, what's going on? 493 00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:06,053 It's... 494 00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:09,323 Every week, this show is an amazing train wreck, 495 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:12,393 and you love doing it, and you're the best host, 496 00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:14,762 like, even better than my all-time favorite host, 497 00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:16,497 Tom Snyder, which is crazy. 498 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,432 And all those kids love you, 499 00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:21,936 and you're doing what you're meant to do. 500 00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:24,271 And I can't be the person that makes you lose what you love. 501 00:19:24,306 --> 00:19:25,506 Yeah, but you're what I love. 502 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,675 You're the only reason I have any of this. 503 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,544 You believed in me, and you supported me. 504 00:19:30,579 --> 00:19:32,780 You make me happy... 505 00:19:32,814 --> 00:19:35,449 happier than I ever thought I could be. 506 00:19:35,484 --> 00:19:38,319 Without you, I wouldn't be anything. 507 00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:40,888 You're what keeps me going. 508 00:19:40,922 --> 00:19:44,225 You're my Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon. 509 00:19:44,259 --> 00:19:47,361 As long as I'm with you, I'm gonna be happy. 510 00:19:47,396 --> 00:19:49,830 So we go to Washington, D.C. 511 00:19:49,865 --> 00:19:51,065 And then we figure out 512 00:19:51,099 --> 00:19:54,268 the next cool and awesome thing from there, okay? 513 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,539 Okay. 514 00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,920 That was a very good "Being Nice to Someone." 515 00:20:01,518 --> 00:20:02,679 I did it. 516 00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:04,177 I can go finish the show. 517 00:20:06,888 --> 00:20:10,923 ♪ Well it's time for us to go ♪ 518 00:20:11,284 --> 00:20:16,181 ♪ But I want you all to know ♪ 519 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,383 ♪ That karate's not about fighting ♪ 520 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,619 ♪ It's about knowing who you are ♪ 521 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,821 ♪ And being kind and honest ♪ 522 00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,490 ♪ While you're kicking for the stars ♪ 523 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:30,496 ♪ Yeah, that's the Johnny Karate way ♪ 524 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,766 ♪ ♪ 525 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,268 ♪ Keep karate in your heart ♪ 526 00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:39,071 ♪ And aspire to your dreams ♪ 527 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,639 ♪ And always remember ♪ 528 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,741 ♪ You're forever on my team ♪ 529 00:20:42,776 --> 00:20:48,647 ♪ Yeah, that's the Johnny Karate way ♪ 530 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:49,848 Karate yell! 531 00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:51,450 All: Hiya! 532 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,685 Good-bye, Pawnee. I will miss you. 533 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,754 [cheers and applause] 534 00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:56,755 Guys? 535 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:57,756 Guys? 536 00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,658 Guys! 537 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:00,993 Tarantula. 538 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,028 [gasps] 539 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,097 Could somebody get me out of here, please? 540 00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,565 I'll help you, John Cena. 541 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,300 No--