1
00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:04,546
ANDY: Whoa! Alcatraz!

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,381
Can't believe Michael Bay spent

3
00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,091
a billion dollars
of his own money

4
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,343
to build that for <i>The Rock.</i>

5
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,304
I can't believe you were
able to recite that entire movie,

6
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,097
from memory, on the plane ride.

7
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,283
You weren't trying
to sleep, were you?

8
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:17,893
I couldn't tell, 'cause you had
that mask thing over your eyes.

9
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:20,187
This may be the craziest
week of my entire life.

10
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,940
I am six days away from
the start of the Unity Concert,

11
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,525
I am pregnant with triplets,

12
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,818
I am trying to decide
if I should take a job

13
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:28,278
that will move me
away from Pawnee,

14
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,698
and I am speaking at the National
Parks Conference in San Francisco.

15
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,200
It is gonna be so much fun.

16
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,285
Michelle Obama is
the keynote speaker.

17
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,537
And you know what they say.

18
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,623
"What happens at
a National Parks Conference"

19
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:44,044
"is compiled and emailed to you
in a PDF the following Monday."

20
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,150
We gotta find a way
to break in there.

21
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,006
They give tours.

22
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,091
[LAUGHS] Yeah.

23
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,678
That's exactly how they'll be
expecting me to try to break in.

24
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,284
TOM: <i>My restaurant
opens in six weeks,</i>

25
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,369
<i>and I'm making sure I
get every detail right.</i>

26
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,829
This is the hardest

27
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,914
I've worked on anything since...

28
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,501
Wow. I've never
worked hard on anything.

29
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,003
What a cool life!

30
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,714
Looks like everything's
on track for July.

31
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,424
It's just too bad
we're not opening

32
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,925
in time for this Unity Concert.

33
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,137
The extra publicity would've
given us a nice boost.

34
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,471
Why don't we?

35
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,955
We could do a soft
opening tomorrow,

36
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,434
and be ready just in time
for the concert crowd.

37
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,245
You really think
you can pull that off?

38
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,521
Well, nobody can
predict the future.

39
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,565
Except me.
I guarantee it'll work,

40
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:47,649
and in six months,

41
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,252
this place will be
bigger than McDonald's.

42
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,820
As always,
I love your enthusiasm.

43
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,822
See you tomorrow. Partner.

44
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,325
A soft opening tomorrow?

45
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,243
From now on,
everyone call me Kristen.

46
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,287
Because I am
wigging out right now!

47
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,664
Yeah, we're not even
close to being ready.

48
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,375
They're not even done painting
that sign. It says "Tom's bi."

49
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,544
Actually, no, that's good.

50
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,920
We're ready.
Mitch was right.

51
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,857
The amount of buzz we'd get
from opening next weekend

52
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,299
is too big to pass up.

53
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,467
We can do it!

54
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,069
"This little Italian
restaurant will put

55
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,573
"McDonald's out of
business" on three.

56
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:17,846
One, two, three!

57
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:19,073
This little Italian restaurant

58
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,158
will put McDonald's
out of business!

59
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,767
...rise from hell fire!

60
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:24,895
[LESLIE SIGHS]

61
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,606
Lester Kanopf? Come
on, guys, get it together.

62
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,524
That's mine.

63
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,568
Sorry, Lester.

64
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:32,778
Yours is right here.

65
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,072
Grant! Hi!

66
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,299
Yeah, I saw you were
gonna be here,

67
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,158
and since you've
been ducking my calls,

68
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,534
I just thought that I'd drop in.

69
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,869
Care to join me for lunch?

70
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,037
I would...

71
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,400
Liam Bonneville's
gonna be there.

72
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,248
Liam Bonneville?

73
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,626
The Department of the
Interior's resident bad boy?

74
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,336
Well, now you've
got my attention.

75
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,505
Let me go grab my autograph
book and we'll head out.

76
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,758
BEN: <i>Andy and I are meeting
with a tech company called Gryzzl.</i>

77
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,928
Now, they're giving away free
WiFi to a few cities across America,

78
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,055
and we're going to
pitch Pawnee to them.

79
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,932
And what exactly does Gryzzl do?

80
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,810
[READING]

81
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,312
No idea.

82
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,065
So, Gryzzl's
really taking off, huh?

83
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,775
Yeah. It's been
a crazy ride.

84
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,670
Our music service GryzzlDump
launched in November,

85
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,862
and now we have
170 million users.

86
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,782
Six months ago, I was
working in a taco truck.

87
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:22,244
Now, I own one-third of
the Portland Trailblazers.

88
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:27,040
So, you can just get your hair
cut in the lobby at Gryzzl, huh?

89
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,834
Uh, Gryzzl's a work collective.

90
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,687
Everyone just kind of
does whatever they want,

91
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,547
and we just sort of
flow in that direction.

92
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,549
Do you think I could
cut somebody's hair?

93
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,623
If that's how you want to flow.

94
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,928
Andy?
Go get it.

95
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,054
[CHUCKLES]

96
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,557
I think Pawnee is
a great candidate

97
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,142
for your free
wireless initiative.

98
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,853
We lead the country in
online pizza ordering.

99
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,898
In fact, a lot of people go to the
library just to order pizza online.

100
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,735
Right now, we're kind of
focused on bigger cities,

101
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,112
like, Shreveport, Akron.

102
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,572
Sure, obviously, we're no Akron.

103
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,990
I mean, we're more like Dayton.

104
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,119
But with your help,
we can become Toledo.

105
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,748
Ben, we don't like to
say the word "no"...

106
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:08,832
No.

107
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,250
...at this company.

108
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,169
We feel it's counter-productive

109
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,462
to our creative mission.

110
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,464
So instead, let me say,

111
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,425
"Nah, bro."

112
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,051
How is that better?

113
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,846
Check it out, guys, all done.
Only made, like, 12 mistakes.

114
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,558
Dwayne "The Rock" Swanson.

115
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,973
Donna told me I'd find
you up here. What's all this?

116
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:32,773
Over the last few months, I've
remodeled the entire third floor.

117
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,566
Wiring, heating and cooling,

118
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,611
restored this red pine
back to its original glory.

119
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,698
Oh, wow, the stripes
are so wavy. It's really...

120
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,009
All right, I can't keep
this facade up any longer.

121
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,034
I need a favor.

122
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,887
You know those chairs you
were making for my restaurant?

123
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:46,912
I need them now.

124
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:50,957
I was told I had until July.
My chairs take time.

125
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:54,461
Who do you think I am,
Thomas Hucker? [LAUGHS]

126
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,131
Please, Ron? I've never
asked you for anything today.

127
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,217
I just spent 10
weeks refurbishing

128
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,427
an entire floor
of this building.

129
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:05,889
And now you want me to drop
everything and furnish your restaurant?

130
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:06,973
Yeah.

131
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,058
Good.

132
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,852
I was worried I wouldn't have
a project after this was done.

133
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,056
I'll get to work right away.

134
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,105
Please, you're
really far behind.

135
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:17,400
Hello, everybody.
This is Leslie Knope.

136
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,524
Leslie, this is Rebecca...

137
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,569
Varuvian, yes.

138
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,072
Hello. I know who you are.
I've read all of your papers,

139
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,741
and, um, I had your poster
on my wall when I was a kid.

140
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,868
What poster?
I made a poster of you

141
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,704
by blowing up your picture from
the National Parks newsletter.

142
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,388
I cut out your face
and made it look like

143
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,894
you were dunking
over Charles Barkley.

144
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,543
My God.

145
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:38,129
So you're the author of the
famous river clean-up proposal, huh?

146
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,982
It wasn't bad.
[LESLIE CHUCKLES]

147
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,342
Liam Bonneville
read my proposal. Wow.

148
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,011
Liam's being
withholding as usual.

149
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,264
That proposal was
brilliantly written.

150
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,766
[SIGHS] Rebecca Varuvian. Yes?

151
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,017
Nothing.

152
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,937
That was the best
lunch I ever had.

153
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,689
I have to see
the photos that you took.

154
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:56,857
I didn't take any photos.

155
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,733
What? Grant, come on!

156
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,611
Leslie, you're treating those
people like they're your heroes.

157
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,863
They could be your peers.

158
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,447
Look, I really
hope you take the job,

159
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,842
but we're at
the end of the line here.

160
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,325
I need a decision by tomorrow.

161
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,869
Okay, that's fair.

162
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,413
I mean, I would be
insane not to take the job.

163
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,749
But I'm just having some trouble
thinking about leaving Pawnee.

164
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,811
Hey, here's someone who
may be able to convince you.

165
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,545
Hello, Mrs. Obama.

166
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,088
Hey, Grant.
How you doing?

167
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,883
I'm doing good.
This is Leslie Knope.

168
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,551
She's considering a job with us

169
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,386
running the new
Midwest bureau in Chicago.

170
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,430
Well, you know how
I feel about Chicago.

171
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,682
Yeah. You are from Chicago,
so you like it!

172
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,476
That's right. And we
need passionate people,

173
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,228
like you, on our national parks.

174
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,231
You know they get hundreds
of millions of visitors each year.

175
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,372
Are you nodding
because you agree with me?

176
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,735
LESLIE: Yes.
I do agree with you.

177
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,445
I agree with you on all things.

178
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,156
Throughout history. Until
the end of time, forever.

179
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,341
You and Grant work together?

180
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,525
Yeah, we work together a lot.

181
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,577
He's helped me integrate
the Let's Move program

182
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,579
into our National Parks,
you know?

183
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,998
Getting kids outside,
rock climbing, hiking.

184
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,625
Whoa! That's really,
really incredible!

185
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,460
Great work! I'm sorry
I'm talking so loud!

186
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,712
I'm getting louder and now
I can't stop! My apologies!

187
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,341
I don't know, I can't...

188
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,884
Can I high-five you?
Yeah.

189
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,719
Well, I hope you take the job.

190
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:11,014
Change happens one
person at a time.

191
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:12,974
Good to meet you.

192
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,064
[SIGHS] Again, think it over.

193
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,609
[LAUGHING]

194
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,947
[EXHALES]

195
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,449
Okay.
This is a bad idea.

196
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:30,909
Just trust me.

197
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,399
You got your camera ready?
Yeah.

198
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,287
Andy,
I'm very nervous about this.

199
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,580
You're gonna hurt yourself.

200
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,083
And here we go.

201
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,254
Wow!

202
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,800
Look at it go! I mean, I knew it
would go down, but not that fast!

203
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,718
San Francisco's the best.

204
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,304
Huh.

205
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,056
I thought he was gonna be on it.

206
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,141
Yeah. Anyway,
it was amazing, babe.

207
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,979
Everyone was there, Rebecca
Varuvian, Liam Bonneville...

208
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,648
[SIGHS] I've decided.
I'm gonna take the job.

209
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,192
There's so much more
in the world to see,

210
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,115
and I feel like I can
really make a difference.

211
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,445
Oh, and I met Michelle Obama.

212
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,906
What? Why didn't
you lead with that?

213
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,075
I don't know! Liam
Bonneville has me in a tizzy!

214
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,661
Guys! It's totally broken!

215
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,498
We have 10 tables booked
for the soft opening.

216
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,101
It's all friends and family, so
hopefully they'll go easy on us.

217
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,127
How's it looking, Ron?
Maybe speed it up a little?

218
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:27,132
This is not government work. As
such, I treat it with care and attention.

219
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,300
Okay, but also, go faster.

220
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,153
I haven't had time
to hire a staff yet,

221
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,513
so April, you'll handle service.

222
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,306
No. Can't I just
stay in the back

223
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,434
and spit in people's
food like we planned?

224
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,518
[SNEEZING]

225
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,521
The sawdust from Ron's
chairs is everywhere.

226
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,441
My sinuses are on the fritz,
and smell is 90% of taste!

227
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,608
Maybe 95!

228
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,985
Okay, Craig.

229
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,696
Donna's gonna be your wine
taster. You guys will work as a team.

230
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,950
Fine, but if he raises his
voice once, once, I'm out.

231
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,368
Please don't
stick to that policy.

232
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,953
I've got the menus.

233
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,455
Great.
[CHUCKLES]

234
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,082
Larry, what the hell?
What are these pictures?

235
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,044
Oh, geez, I must have given
the printer the wrong flash drive.

236
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,879
What is this,
a rotten grapefruit?

237
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,422
No, it's my dog's rectum.

238
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,926
Lord Sheldon has a growth, so
we're sending pictures over to the vet.

239
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,770
But I guess this isn't
good for menus, is it?

240
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:17,390
Larry? Larry.
Larry. Listen to me.

241
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:21,019
This is the worst
thing you've ever done.

242
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,813
I need you to take
all of these dog butt pictures

243
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,398
and burn them in the pizza oven.

244
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,442
April, you'll list all the
menu items from memory.

245
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:28,902
It'll be classier anyway.

246
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,196
Ron!
What was wrong with that one?

247
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,032
It was too perfect.
It looked machine-made.

248
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,408
[SIGHS]

249
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,620
Okay, we have to convince them
that Pawnee is a special city.

250
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,332
Ooh, we could tell them that
there's buried treasure in Pawnee,

251
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,769
and then, after they
give us the free WiFi,

252
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,170
we tell them that the
treasure was love all along.

253
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,296
No.

254
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,019
BEN: <i>I am not gonna
take no for an answer.</i>

255
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,176
If we're leaving Pawnee, I'm gonna
give them a going-away present,

256
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,345
free WiFi for all.

257
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,680
Every time someone in Pawnee
clicks through

258
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:01,559
a slideshow of American Music
Award red carpet sideboob fails,

259
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,521
they'll say,
"Thank you, Ben Wyatt."

260
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,274
What the hell?

261
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,776
They're playing
<i>Cones of Dunshire.</i>

262
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,486
ANDY: Hey,
you invented that game.

263
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:13,446
Are they playing
any games I invented?

264
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,948
Are they throwing
dirt into a fan?

265
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,093
The key is, you have to throw
the dirt into the back of the fan.

266
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,284
How the hell do they...

267
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,078
Excuse me.

268
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,372
How did you guys get
your hands on this game?

269
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,374
Someone sent it to us.
Have you played it?

270
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,167
I invented <i>Cones of Dunshire.</i>

271
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,670
You're The Architect?
Yeah, right.

272
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,797
And I'm the alchemist
of the Hinterlands.

273
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,215
[ALL LAUGHING]

274
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,193
There can't be an
alchemist of the Hinterlands.

275
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,577
The Hinterlands
is a shadow kingdom

276
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,221
that can only sustain
a provost or a denier.

277
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,472
He's right.

278
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,058
Hey. How about this?
Let's play.

279
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,770
If I win, you give me another
shot at free wireless for Pawnee.

280
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,480
Have a seat.

281
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,400
You wanna be
corporal or warrior?

282
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,526
Neither.

283
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,029
I'm the maverick.

284
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,492
LESLIE: By using the Leslie Knope Seamless
Merger Super System, patent pending,

285
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,537
Pawnee and Eagleton,
and their parks departments,

286
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,415
will be fully integrated within
the next six to twelve months.

287
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,499
[LAUGHING]

288
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,586
I know, I know. I think it was
a good presentation, too.

289
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,962
Is that why you're laughing?

290
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,672
Your timeline is way off.

291
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:17,218
I was in charge of the
Wesham-Southborough merger of 2004.

292
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,845
You know when it was completed?

293
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:19,971
Last month.

294
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,222
What?
How is that possible?

295
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:25,226
Merging governments requires
constant hands-on management.

296
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,062
You're being very cavalier
about the future of your town.

297
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,026
Excuse me. I've been
accused of a lot of things,

298
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,816
but cavalier has
never been one of them.

299
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,276
I have a Super System.

300
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,069
I had a system, too.

301
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,655
But the economy went south.

302
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,159
My hometown hit some hard times

303
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:45,371
and was converted into
unincorporated territory.

304
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,248
You lost your cityhood?

305
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,583
If you wanna see this through,

306
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,044
you need eight to
10 years minimum.

307
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,713
Unless you wanna run the risk
of Pawnee becoming...

308
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:54,881
Don't say it!

309
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,342
...unincorporated territory.

310
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:04,057
That's a bold flavor.
Fruity. A little earthy.

311
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,642
Which is it?
Fruity or earthy?

312
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,019
It can't be both,
they're mutually exclusive!

313
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,772
Oh, no! You do not
come at me like that.

314
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,732
I'm sorry. I don't
know who I am anymore.

315
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,651
A man without
a palate isn't a man.

316
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,902
I love you, Donna.

317
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,155
What are you guys doing?
There's people waiting out there!

318
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,366
We're having a moment,
you monster!

319
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,450
[GRUNTING IN FRUSTRATION]

320
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,202
Stop hassling me.

321
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,913
Ron, you're amazing. You've
always been like a grandpa to me.

322
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,916
But can you please lower
your standards a tiny bit

323
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,627
so my customers
have somewhere to sit?

324
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:33,878
No.

325
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,127
[GLASS BREAKING]
LARRY: Oh.

326
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,590
I am so sorry, Tom.

327
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:40,260
I can't believe I'm saying
this, but don't worry about it.

328
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,594
Restaurant superstition,

329
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,930
breaking a glass on the
first night is good luck.

330
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,598
[SIGHS] Thank God.

331
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,481
Oh, geez.
I'm so sorry.

332
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,024
[YELLS]

333
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,277
Guess I have to start over.

334
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,696
Who wants to go
look for trees with me?

335
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,247
I play an action card to build
a Belltower inside your Citadel.

336
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:13,626
My shaman casts a Toyber spell
on your prosperity tile.

337
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,046
Looks like someone's
out of resource gems.

338
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,131
[ALL LAUGHING]

339
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,966
Uh-oh. [LAUGHS]

340
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,357
What's this?

341
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:39,444
I'm offering you a draw.
Right here, right now.

342
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,487
Why would I...

343
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,365
I'm winning, I have
all your resource gems.

344
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,327
This is your last chance.

345
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,662
Roll the dice.

346
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,540
Gladly.

347
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:54,459
[DICE RATTLING]

348
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,672
I move my abbot
to the ocean hex,

349
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,592
which moves my brinksman
to the devil's lair,

350
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,845
and pushes my farmer,
yes, my humble farmer,

351
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,848
directly into the central cone.

352
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,937
[ANDY WHOOPING]

353
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:18,900
Yeah, man! We did it!
This whole company is ours!

354
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,401
Oh, no, it's not.
That's mine.

355
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,487
That's mine. It's all mine.
Andy?

356
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,031
For the record,
I did invent this game.

357
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,575
But it doesn't even matter,
because I won,

358
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:28,951
and I get
another chance to prove

359
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,746
that there is something
truly special about Pawnee.

360
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,749
Yes, there is. It's the
home of The Architect.

361
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:36,709
Let's talk.

362
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,171
Hey, man, I don't know what
you're up to, but get to my office.

363
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,422
We're cutting that hair.

364
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,635
Seems like things
are a little chaotic.

365
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:46,878
No, no.
Everything is perfect.

366
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,305
This is April. She's gonna
be taking care of you tonight.

367
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,015
Hello.
Welcome to Tom's Bistro.

368
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,899
Today we have spaghetti,
linguine, fettuccine,

369
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,311
ravioli, rigatoni,
bucatini, lasagne.

370
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,646
Could you repeat that?

371
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,856
Spaghetti, linguine,
fettuccine, ravioli, rigatoni,

372
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,234
Ferrari, Lamborghini,
bucatini, lasagne.

373
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,152
Can I see a menu?

374
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,737
We had to throw our menus away

375
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:08,658
because they are covered with
pictures of Larry's dog's rectum.

376
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,160
Great news. Lord Sheldon's
gonna make it. Yeah.

377
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,079
We just have to apply
a salve to his anus

378
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,349
every hour for the rest of his
life, but... [LAUGHS EXCITEDLY]

379
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,457
Oh! Enjoy your meal!

380
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,667
For crying out loud!

381
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,710
No! Mitch, don't leave.
Come on!

382
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,838
You have no idea how
to run a restaurant.

383
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,341
I've been in this game before, and I
can see the cracks starting to form.

384
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,344
Sorry, kid. Consider my
investment terminated.

385
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,470
Dee, let's go.

386
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,098
Sir, were you
sitting in that chair?

387
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,433
Yes. Yes, I was. Why?

388
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,976
No reason.

389
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,436
Let's go.

390
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,568
BEN: Apparently, and I don't
know how, but the game has spread.

391
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:47,155
I mean, it's all over the Internet.
Austin, Charlotte, San Diego.

392
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:49,365
I mean, people are
playing with my cones, babe.

393
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,533
That's great.

394
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,994
I'm just bummed I
never copyrighted it.

395
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,120
I'll look into that.

396
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,664
But at least because of it,
Pawnee will get free wireless

397
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,417
and we can both move away
with a clear conscience.

398
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,713
Uh-oh. What's wrong?

399
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,673
I can't leave Pawnee

400
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:09,051
during a difficult merger
that I'm responsible for.

401
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,511
I have to turn down the job.

402
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,931
Leslie, no. You made up
your mind. Yesterday. You...

403
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:15,975
Michelle Obama!

404
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,060
I know! But I've been
doing this for months.

405
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,937
I wanna stay and go.

406
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,607
I mean, how far along
are we on human cloning?

407
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,610
Wasn't Dolly the sheep
like 20 years ago?

408
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,488
It's like, "What the hell,
scientists? Get it together!"

409
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,323
Okay, coming up on Terminal 3.

410
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,075
No. Keep driving,
just loop around.

411
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,370
Listen, we are not getting out of
this cab until we make a decision.

412
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,997
Honey, we are gonna
miss our flight.

413
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,207
Then we miss our flight.

414
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,418
I'll tell Andy to fly home
without us and cancel our tickets,

415
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,337
but we are not
going back to Pawnee

416
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,131
until we know we
are staying in Pawnee.

417
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,091
Just make a decision.

418
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,803
So, you screwed up a little.

419
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,765
You tried to shoot the moon
and you came up short.

420
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,183
That doesn't mean it's over.

421
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,644
My main investor pulled out.

422
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,146
Any dollar I spend
from now on is my own.

423
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,524
And despite what my
pocket square says,

424
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,400
I'm not a billionaire.

425
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,320
So, I quit.

426
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:10,947
Just go home, Ron.

427
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,157
Not done with the chairs yet.

428
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:17,161
It is my belief that you never
start a job you don't intend to finish.

429
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,955
Really? I love quitting.

430
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,831
When I was a kid
and things didn't go my way,

431
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,917
I would just take
my ball and go home.

432
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,562
That's better than winning, 'cause
then, your friends can't play anymore!

433
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,837
Hey!

434
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,047
No! My stemware!

435
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,049
You are not quitting.

436
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,676
I just called
a bunch of reviewers,

437
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:34,762
and I told them that the
soft opening went great,

438
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,722
and I invited them to
come here on Friday.

439
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,224
Why would you do this to me?

440
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,642
You worked really hard.

441
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,602
You owe it to yourself
to give it a real shot,

442
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,521
because you are
smart and talented.

443
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:48,025
Well, I hate doing work,
but I love being flattered,

444
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,221
so maybe I'll
give it another try.

445
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,946
Good.
That's a smart move, son.

446
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,030
Thanks, Ron.

447
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:56,242
Because you currently
owe me $16,000.

448
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,326
For the wood.

449
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,246
The labor was free,
but the wood was a bargain.

450
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,415
At $16,000.

451
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,252
You know,
it's none of my business,

452
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,087
but how can you not
take this big job?

453
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,172
I know, it's an amazing job.

454
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,816
But on the other hand,
it does seem like

455
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,082
you've put down some really
deep roots in your hometown.

456
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:16,596
Yeah, welcome to
the predicament, Horace.

457
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:19,765
The town will be okay
without you if you leave.

458
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:22,226
So, what does your gut tell you?

459
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,769
I'm never gonna
be able to decide.

460
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,980
I'm gonna be
paralyzed by hypotheticals

461
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,940
until I die here,
in this mini van!

462
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,026
At the San Francisco airport.

463
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,528
Wait a second.
I have an idea.

464
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,740
Drive here.

465
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,580
LESLIE: Where are we going?

466
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,665
It's right up here.
Just trust me.

467
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,668
Wait. I'm on Endor.

468
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,714
These are the redwoods
George Lucas used

469
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,966
to create
the forest moon of Endor.

470
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,302
Sorry, that's not why
we're here. Let's go.

471
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,849
Well, that is a gorgeous view.

472
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,517
Yes, it is.

473
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,354
But don't look at that.
Look at this.

474
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,857
You've been thinking
about this job in the abstract.

475
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,860
Focus on what it actually means.

476
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:17,782
We're standing in a national
park that stretches 50 miles.

477
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,242
That's The Presidio, over
there, it's a national park.

478
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,662
So is Alcatraz,
and so are the redwoods

479
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,105
we just walked through,
by the way.

480
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:29,126
You take this job, places
like this will be your office.

481
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,961
Well, that is
a compelling point.

482
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,105
Okay, when we got
back from London,

483
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,132
you said that
it's a very big world

484
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,926
and you've seen
very little of it.

485
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,969
This is your chance, honey.

486
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,971
This whole region,

487
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,058
Mount Rushmore,
the badlands, the Ozarks,

488
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,685
Abe Lincoln's childhood home,

489
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,853
you would be in
charge of all of it.

490
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:52,066
Your job would be to preserve
the most beautiful places on Earth

491
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,902
so millions of people
could enjoy them.

492
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:59,365
And those places, the greatest
treasures America has to offer,

493
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:04,078
will all have signs
with your name right there.

494
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,335
Hi, Grant. I want the job.

495
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,295
Uh, I have a lot of questions,

496
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,019
but I'm a little amped up right
now, so I'll probably just hang up.

497
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,175
Might be for the best.
But anyway, I love you.

498
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,635
No, I don't.
I'm sorry.

499
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,178
That was weird.
Okay, bye.

500
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,723
This is Lester Kanopf.
No, you know...

501
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:24,890
Okay. Bye.

502
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:25,975
Smoothly handled, Lester.

503
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,059
Yeah. I panicked.

504
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,813
We should go. We
have a lot of stuff to do.

505
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,625
And the meter's still running
on that cab, so chop, chop.

506
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,568
Really? Oh.
Yeah.

507
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,071
Leslie, you wanted to see me?

508
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,990
Yeah, Larry. Have a seat.

509
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,452
Oh, geez.
Am I fired?

510
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,746
I wish.
If only it were that easy.

511
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,456
LESLIE:
<i>I have accepted a new job,</i>

512
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,750
and I need to start telling
everybody that I'm leaving.

513
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,042
It's gonna be very painful.

514
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:55,379
So, I've decided to start
with Larry. As a practice run.

515
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:57,548
Because,
it doesn't need to go well.

516
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:00,426
Because, who cares?
Because, Larry.

517
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,344
Larry,
I have something to tell you.

518
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,891
I'm going...

519
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,101
But Leslie, no...
What...

520
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,269
But, no...
[SOBBING]

521
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,645
No. [SOBBING]

522
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,943
What is going on?

523
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,862
She wanted to fire me,

524
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,947
but she realized
that she loved having me

525
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,991
around too much,
and she couldn't do it.

526
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,869
What? Larry,
that was not even close.

527
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,621
God,
just get out of here, please.

528
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,582
[BOTH SOBBING]

529
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:33,876
APRIL:
Why didn't you fire Larry?

530
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,419
I thought you were
going to fire him.

531
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:36,837
I'm sorry.

532
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:41,217
Opening of Tom's Bistro
was a disaster. So, what?

533
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:44,553
This is America. And America's
the land of second chances.

534
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:49,099
And now we have one night,
one after-party,

535
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:53,604
to make the world realize that Tom's
Bistro is where miracles can happen!

536
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,983
Thomas, I have to work all day
at the Unity Concert.

537
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,277
If you're gonna pull this off,
we need more people!

538
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,862
I know,
and I didn't wanna do this,

539
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,405
but I called in
some reinforcements.

540
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,699
Did someone call
for a party zoo?

541
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:09,161
[MEOWING]
[BARKING]

542
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,664
[VOCALIZING]
[SNORTS]

543
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,165
[LAUGHING]
[INDISTINCT TALKING]

544
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,543
Craig, this is my friend,

545
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:17,837
Jean-Ralphio, and his
twin sister, Mona Lisa.

546
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,547
All right,
so we got a four-way going

547
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,799
with my ex,
my brother, and this rando?

548
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:24,093
Okay, if that's
where the night is going.

549
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,928
It's 9:00 in the morning.
What?

550
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,429
It's not a four-way.

551
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,682
And I need your help.
Ugh!

552
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:32,393
And you both once
lied about me to your father,

553
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:34,854
and basically caused the
downfall of my last business.

554
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,397
So, you owe me a favor.

555
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,524
I owe you a favor?
Oh, boy.

556
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:41,068
I stole $2,000 from you.

557
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:43,070
I'm the person that
sneaks into your home

558
00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:45,030
every night, and eats your food.

559
00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:47,366
Oh, so... Oh, right,
so I do owe you a favor.

560
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,828
Man, I'm gonna help you out,
okay? And she's gonna help you, too.

561
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:52,913
Because you owe me a favor.

562
00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:55,207
You remember the time
you made me dress up as you,

563
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,102
and go on a date with
one of your ex-boyfriends?

564
00:22:57,126 --> 00:23:00,212
And then the guy immediately
figured it out, and beat me up?

565
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:01,439
Oh... Now you remember
that I got beat up.

566
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,464
Yeah.

567
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:04,091
Who are these people?
They are awful,

568
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:05,718
and horrifying, and I love them!

569
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:07,469
Take these VIP invitations,

570
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,471
find all the A-list
peeps at the concert,

571
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,390
and get them to
the restaurant tonight.

572
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,100
I gotta stop by
the Parks office.

573
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:14,852
I'll meet you later.
God speed.

574
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,312
I like your energy, <i>hombre.</i>

575
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:18,123
What do you say
you and I ride go-karts later?

576
00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:19,899
I wanna go horseback riding!

577
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:21,317
Deal.

578
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,194
Last chance, Ron.

579
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:26,572
The slots are finalized, but
I can squeeze in 10 minutes

580
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:30,284
if a certain Mr. Duke Silver
wanted to come out.

581
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,202
Come on, Ron.
It's gonna be so fun.

582
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:33,454
Thank you, Andrew.

583
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:35,748
But fun or not, playing music is

584
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,499
something I like
to keep private,

585
00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,919
along with my family,
my conversations,

586
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:42,504
and my whereabouts at all times.

587
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:43,839
LESLIE: Okay, everyone.

588
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:47,343
Welcome to the very last
Unity Concert planning meeting.

589
00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:50,429
Andy, you are in charge,
this is your show. Take it away.

590
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:53,390
Your mission, should
you choose to accept it,

591
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,852
is to accept
the following missions.

592
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:58,771
Madison.
Manning the art tents.

593
00:23:58,854 --> 00:23:59,939
Donna.

594
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:01,249
Scheduling and security liaison.

595
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,274
Larry.

596
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:03,525
Staying out of the way.

597
00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:05,629
And all of the rest of
the volunteer work assignments

598
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:07,321
are up on this board.

599
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:12,034
Your main goal today is to
get 2,000 people to sign up

600
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:17,790
for the Pawnee-Eagleton Merger
Preservation Volunteer Action Squad.

601
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:21,710
Their first project will be to come
up with a shorter name for the group.

602
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:25,631
You're right, the name is too
long, I was picturing bigger hats.

603
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,634
All right, here we go.
Everybody, let's get to work!

604
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:29,760
[ALL CHEERING]

605
00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:33,472
Can the Parks and Rec people
hang back for a second?

606
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:39,353
The story of these nuts is...
they're mixed.

607
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,355
Mr. Hapley, hi.
My name's Craig Middlebrooks.

608
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:42,439
I'm a huge fan!

609
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:45,317
I work at Tom's Bistro, which
is a wonderful restaurant,

610
00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:47,253
and we need you to come to
a special party tonight,

611
00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:48,737
or it all goes down the toilet!

612
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:51,532
Well,
will there be music, food...

613
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,158
And a location?
Yes.

614
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,411
Good, because in
this reporter's opinion,

615
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,454
it's not a party
unless there's music,

616
00:24:57,538 --> 00:24:58,539
food,

617
00:24:58,622 --> 00:24:59,790
and a location.

618
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:04,503
Um, the reason I
wanted you guys to

619
00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,422
stick around is,
I wanted to tell you

620
00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:10,092
that I love and admire you.

621
00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:11,301
Oh, Leslie, thank you!

622
00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:12,465
You say that every morning.

623
00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:16,849
A while ago, I was offered a
job at the National Parks Service.

624
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:20,853
And it's a great opportunity,
but it means that I'll have to move.

625
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,022
To Illinois.

626
00:25:23,105 --> 00:25:24,273
And I took the job.

627
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,316
Good for you!

628
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,280
ANDY: That's great!
RON: Congratulations, Knope.

629
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:31,488
The sentimental people in
this office will probably miss you.

630
00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:32,656
When do you leave?

631
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:34,616
Soon. Maybe a month.
TOM: Oh...

632
00:25:35,242 --> 00:25:38,704
That makes what we're about
to show you a little bit awkward.

633
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,267
TOM: We had a new Founder's
Day statue commissioned,

634
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,877
and added your name to
the list of founders of Pawnee.

635
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,713
Because you basically
founded this new town.

636
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:50,799
"Leslie Knope, champion of
the Pawnee-Eagleton merger."

637
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:54,011
"Our most faithful citizen.
She never abandoned us."

638
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,096
Oh, boy.
There's a quote, too.

639
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:59,725
"Only a moron would ever live
anywhere other than Pawnee, Indiana."

640
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:01,602
"Leslie Knope,
multiple occasions."

641
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:04,730
I can cut a new plinth
with a less ironic inscription.

642
00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:06,523
This is so touching, you guys.

643
00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:10,235
I am crying out of happiness
and sadness and gratitude,

644
00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:11,820
and because I'm
carrying triplets,

645
00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:13,631
and for a fifth reason
that I can't figure out.

646
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:15,783
Leslie, don't cry.
It's not that great.

647
00:26:15,866 --> 00:26:17,159
Doesn't even look like you.

648
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,328
Or actually, you know what?
It kinda does.

649
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,915
[CELL PHONE RINGING] Well,
about that time. Unity Concert!

650
00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:24,458
[ALL CHEERING]

651
00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:32,925
Hello, Pawnee,
we're The Decemberists.

652
00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:35,010
[CROWD CHEERING]

653
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:38,680
It's great to be here
in support of this event.

654
00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,516
This is truly an amazing town.

655
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:45,020
I ordered a small cheeseburger
and both the buns were pizzas.

656
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:46,647
[CHEERING]

657
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:47,856
[PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]

658
00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,708
[SINGING]

659
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,464
Hope I don't see this on eBay.

660
00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:13,590
There you go.

661
00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:16,051
Victoria Secret
supermodel Karlie Kloss?

662
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:17,195
Really? Where?
Wait a second.

663
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:19,847
You're not Karlie, you're
my friend, Joan Callamezzo.

664
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:22,766
They don't even allow me in
Victoria's Secret anymore.

665
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:24,184
Why?
Yeah.

666
00:27:24,268 --> 00:27:27,062
Joanie baby, I'm throwing a
huge party tonight at Tom's Bistro.

667
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,147
You gots to stop by.

668
00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:29,231
You gots to stop by.

669
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:31,316
Will this medium
drink of water be there?

670
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,736
The only reason I wouldn't
be there is if I got pulled over.

671
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:39,241
[SINGING] <i>For violating
my house arrest</i>

672
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,201
Ah, boosh!
What?

673
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:43,412
Judge gave me two
ankle bracelets.

674
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,873
Said it was the first time
he ever had to do that.

675
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:49,251
Ja boy's a question
on the bar exam! Ya heard!

676
00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:50,544
[LAUGHING]

677
00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:54,131
Anyway. Tom's Bistro,
tonight. Be there.

678
00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:00,637
Don't.
Just let me talk... Mmm.

679
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:02,931
Well, the relocation
package seems fair.

680
00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:05,309
But the dental plan
is more than fair.

681
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:08,020
I mean, three annual cleanings
for the spouse? Ka-ching!

682
00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,730
Did someone say "dental plan"?

683
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:10,898
[LAUGHING]
How's it going?

684
00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:13,400
Councilman Jeremy Jamm,
Jamm Orthodontics.

685
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:16,528
Hey, I think we can all agree
this concert blows, right?

686
00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:18,071
If you guys really
wanna see a crowd,

687
00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:19,531
you might wanna stop by my

688
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,200
secession rally later tonight.

689
00:28:21,491 --> 00:28:23,368
That is gonna be off the hook.

690
00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:25,329
You ever heard of Warrant? Yeah.

691
00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:26,747
There's a cover band right here,

692
00:28:26,830 --> 00:28:28,290
that call themselves Cherry Pie.

693
00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,813
Pretty sure we got
their bass player.

694
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:31,627
Oh, wow.
Gonna be pretty good.

695
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:35,172
[SINGING] <i>Rock and roll
Yeah, poison</i>

696
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,506
What is that?

697
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:38,342
Just general rock, man.
It's gonna be fun.

698
00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:41,929
<i>She's my cherry pie
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah</i>

699
00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,138
That guy was a councilman?

700
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,306
Crazy, right?

701
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:45,891
Okay, let's talk staff.

702
00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,102
For the first few months, you're
only gonna have six staffers.

703
00:28:49,186 --> 00:28:50,826
Four of them will be
coming up from Omaha.

704
00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:52,231
Oh, so, does that mean that

705
00:28:52,314 --> 00:28:53,899
there's two openings left?
Yeah.

706
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:57,527
Because I happen to know some
of the most dedicated civil servants,

707
00:28:57,611 --> 00:28:59,780
and greatest people to
ever walk the planet Earth.

708
00:28:59,863 --> 00:29:01,323
You can hire whoever you like.

709
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,493
This is how I will soften the
emotional blow of me leaving,

710
00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,078
I will bring people with me.

711
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,580
But just two.
Who do I bring?

712
00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:12,167
Oh, I know, I'll sacrifice
my spot for a third person.

713
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,378
No, that's not
gonna work at all.

714
00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:16,713
Well, you gotta admit,
it was a very noble idea.

715
00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:20,342
[SINGING]

716
00:29:40,988 --> 00:29:42,739
[CROWD CHEERING]

717
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:48,620
Ginuwine, it is an honor to be
breathing the same air as you.

718
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:49,871
No joke.

719
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:51,373
But real talk,

720
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:52,791
we're both men about town

721
00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:55,377
being constantly bombarded
with party invitations.

722
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:56,503
Who is this guy?

723
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,231
My friend who's opening
a restaurant tonight,

724
00:29:58,255 --> 00:29:59,965
and you're going
to be there, cousin.

725
00:30:00,257 --> 00:30:01,567
Unless you want
me to get on stage

726
00:30:01,591 --> 00:30:03,719
and talk about how we
used to take baths together.

727
00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:06,430
How you cried whenever I
took away your rubber duckies.

728
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:09,725
Damn, Donna, why you gotta
bring the Quackson Five into this?

729
00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:12,352
GINUWINE: <i>How y'all doing?</i>

730
00:30:12,436 --> 00:30:13,562
[CROWD CHEERING]

731
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,106
Li'l Sebastian,
this one is for you.

732
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:20,110
Because you're my pony.

733
00:30:20,694 --> 00:30:22,279
[PLAYING RHYTHM
AND BLUES MUSIC]

734
00:30:24,990 --> 00:30:26,783
[SINGING]

735
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:40,088
Ron, I have to
ask you something,

736
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:41,923
and I want you to
consider it, okay?

737
00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,091
Really consider it.

738
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:48,013
How would you feel about leaving
Pawnee and moving to Chicago?

739
00:30:48,096 --> 00:30:49,574
[LAUGHS] Hold on.
Come on, I'm not done.

740
00:30:49,598 --> 00:30:51,318
You'd be working for
the federal government.

741
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:53,226
[LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]

742
00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:54,662
You know what?
Excuse me for wanting

743
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,104
my dear friend
and ethical mentor

744
00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:58,273
to accompany me on
the adventure of a lifetime.

745
00:30:58,482 --> 00:31:00,275
It's very sweet, Leslie.

746
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:02,402
And the National Parks
Service is probably

747
00:31:02,486 --> 00:31:05,155
the only branch of government
worth a damn.

748
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:08,241
But Diane and I are quite
happy raising our family here.

749
00:31:08,617 --> 00:31:09,659
Now if you'll excuse me,

750
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,244
there's a booth
over there serving

751
00:31:11,328 --> 00:31:13,663
something called
"fried sausage quilts,"

752
00:31:13,747 --> 00:31:15,957
so I'm going to buy the booth.

753
00:31:22,047 --> 00:31:24,216
[GUITAR PLAYING]
Freddy Spaghetti, hey!

754
00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,676
Andy Dwyer, or Johnny Karate,
I'm such a huge fan!

755
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:27,969
Save it, jagwipe.

756
00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:29,930
I had this place on lockdown.

757
00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:32,641
I was rolling in cash
and lonely moms,

758
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:35,977
and then you come out of
nowhere, and you blow up my spot.

759
00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:37,562
You're going down.

760
00:31:38,355 --> 00:31:41,066
[LAUGHING] Hey, kids,
spaghetti time!

761
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:44,361
All right, see ya.

762
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:47,114
MAN: <i>Clap your hands,
kids, it's Johnny Karate!</i>

763
00:31:47,197 --> 00:31:48,490
[ALL CHEERING]

764
00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:54,579
Hello. I'm Johnny Karate.

765
00:31:54,663 --> 00:31:57,082
[ALL CHEERING]

766
00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,085
[SINGING]
<i>Imaginary friends are cool</i>

767
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:04,297
<i>Imaginary friends
take the fall for you</i>

768
00:32:04,464 --> 00:32:06,299
Daddy, you should play music.

769
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:09,302
Yeah, Ron. Go on, get
up there, have some fun.

770
00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:12,931
I recalibrated the sights on all
the rifles in the shooting gallery.

771
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:15,267
I've had enough fun for one day.

772
00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:19,104
[SNIFFING]

773
00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:21,022
Oh, I know that look.
Where is she?

774
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:22,774
She's near.
Hide the children.

775
00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:27,487
Hello, Ron.
Hello, Ron's friend.

776
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,239
Tammy.

777
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:32,075
What could possibly bring you
to a children's performance?

778
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:34,536
Preparing a ritual
sacrifice of a newborn?

779
00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:37,122
No, just trolling
for some daddy.

780
00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:41,501
Sorry, I pronounced that wrong.
I'm trolling for some dad-dy.

781
00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:43,920
Diane, why don't you take
the girls for some ice cream

782
00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:47,132
while I dispose of this
sewer-dwelling gutter witch?

783
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:49,468
Bye, Tammy.
Always a pleasure.

784
00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:51,470
She's cute.

785
00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:53,180
So, you wanna get out of here?

786
00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:55,265
Her very existence renders you

787
00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:57,309
a neutered bowl
of tasteless gel.

788
00:32:57,434 --> 00:33:00,061
[CHUCKLES] Find
someone else's life to ruin.

789
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,605
You're not fooling me, Ron.

790
00:33:01,688 --> 00:33:05,859
This little domestic charade of
yours hasn't changed you one bit.

791
00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:09,029
You're still the same
old Ron Swanson.

792
00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,947
And I will defeat you.

793
00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:13,658
I will defeat you
right into my pants.

794
00:33:13,742 --> 00:33:15,994
ANDY: Thank you.
Everybody go crazy!

795
00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:17,746
[CROWD CHEERING]

796
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,125
All right, thanks, guys.
Remember. Karate on bad guys only.

797
00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:23,769
Hey, man, you were
really great out there.

798
00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:25,337
Oh, hey! Burly!
How you doing, man?

799
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:26,421
Pretty good, man.

800
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,232
Remember my nephew, Jack?
He's a really big fan.

801
00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:30,383
Whoa. Hey, Jack.
Good to see you, bud.

802
00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:32,052
Hey, listen, man,
I'm really sorry

803
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,970
things ended so
weird with Mouse Rat.

804
00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:36,473
That's not really how I pictured
us breaking up, you know?

805
00:33:36,556 --> 00:33:38,099
Yeah, I do know.

806
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:39,935
I always figured we'd,
you know, whatever,

807
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:41,738
break up because I got
drafted by the Colts.

808
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:45,357
And then in the first game,
of course, I break my leg.

809
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,067
The crowd starts
chanting my name,

810
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:48,610
and I give them the thumbs up.

811
00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:51,047
And then I go to the hospital,
I get really good at chess,

812
00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:53,240
I end up beating
the computer finally.

813
00:33:53,323 --> 00:33:55,659
And then the band just
sort of drifts apart.

814
00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:57,102
That was how I
saw it, but... Yeah.

815
00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:58,870
Take it easy.

816
00:33:58,954 --> 00:33:59,996
Yeah, see ya.

817
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:01,706
Babe!

818
00:34:01,790 --> 00:34:04,209
That was so awesome. That
was the best performance ever.

819
00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:06,312
One kid peed his pants because
he didn't want to miss anything.

820
00:34:06,336 --> 00:34:07,629
What?
I gave a kid pee-pants?

821
00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:08,797
Yes!

822
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,924
That's why I do what I do.

823
00:34:11,675 --> 00:34:12,676
What's wrong?

824
00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:15,887
I guess I just kind of miss
having people up on stage with me.

825
00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:17,448
They never tell you,
when you go solo,

826
00:34:17,472 --> 00:34:18,912
that it's just
gonna be you up there.

827
00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:23,186
Anyways, what do you say I
take you over to the ball pit,

828
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:25,939
and we find your
cell phone I lost?

829
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:27,357
Wait, what?

830
00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:29,484
[SINGING]

831
00:34:56,553 --> 00:34:58,888
I love you, Kay Hanley!

832
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,228
I hope you like deep-dish pizza,

833
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:07,439
because there's gonna be
a lot more of it in Chicago,

834
00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:09,399
where we're all gonna be moving.

835
00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:12,319
Okay.
No. No!

836
00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:15,739
We are not moving to Chicago
for, like, a billion reasons.

837
00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:17,449
But, babe, pizza.

838
00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:18,742
There's pizza in Pawnee.

839
00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:20,660
Right. Thanks, babe.

840
00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:22,430
You're so good at
reminding me where pizza is.

841
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:24,664
Come on, guys, take a risk!

842
00:35:24,748 --> 00:35:26,499
Live on the edge.
Life is an adventure.

843
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:27,917
It is! Let's do it!

844
00:35:28,001 --> 00:35:29,336
No!
No.

845
00:35:29,669 --> 00:35:32,172
Pawnee is cheap
and we like it here,

846
00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:36,009
and Chicago seems like there's
a lot of stuff to do and people,

847
00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:38,136
but I like to do
nothing with no one.

848
00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:40,180
So, thank you and I love you,

849
00:35:40,263 --> 00:35:42,682
but no thank you,
and I hate you.

850
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,226
More I love you.

851
00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:48,104
You know,
you owe me for that pizza.

852
00:35:51,066 --> 00:35:52,942
[SINGING]

853
00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:11,753
[CHEERING]

854
00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:14,005
Thank you, Pawnee!

855
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:17,634
We have been
Bobby Knight Ranger!

856
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:20,804
Yeah, and check this out,
Thursday night

857
00:36:20,887 --> 00:36:22,681
we're opening for
Steely Dan Quayle!

858
00:36:28,311 --> 00:36:32,440
Super cool to hear <i>Sister
Christian</i> that many times in a row!

859
00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:35,235
Now is the moment
we've all been waiting for.

860
00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:39,280
This next band agreed to
re-unite for one night only.

861
00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,448
And it's gonna be great.

862
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:43,284
I personally hope that
they play <i>Summer Sun.</i>

863
00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:46,329
We all know how it goes, right?

864
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:49,624
[SINGING]

865
00:36:51,835 --> 00:36:54,504
Hey, Andy. Why don't
you let us play those, bud?

866
00:36:54,754 --> 00:37:00,552
Oh, yeah. Good point. Okay.
Without any further ado, Land Ho!

867
00:37:00,635 --> 00:37:01,803
[ALL CHEERING]

868
00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:07,642
Hello, Pawnee!

869
00:37:07,767 --> 00:37:09,185
[PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]

870
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,358
[SINGING]

871
00:37:42,844 --> 00:37:44,053
SINGER: Thank you, Pawnee!

872
00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:45,305
You miss the band?

873
00:37:45,889 --> 00:37:48,808
No, I mean, I love that
I'm Johnny Karate now.

874
00:37:50,226 --> 00:37:53,396
But being part of a band,
that's rock and roll, man.

875
00:37:53,897 --> 00:37:57,942
Joining us now for our finale,
legendary local band,

876
00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,028
please welcome Mouse Rat!

877
00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:02,947
You guys are closing
this sucker down!

878
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,413
How about this Unity Concert,
huh, Pawnee?

879
00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:11,831
[ALL CHEERING]

880
00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:19,088
I love this town so much and
I'm just so proud to live here.

881
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:23,218
And we're gonna close
tonight out with a tribute

882
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:25,595
to Pawnee's greatest treasure.

883
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:29,766
[SINGING]

884
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:21,526
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Duke Silver!

885
00:39:22,485 --> 00:39:24,070
[PLAYING SAXOPHONE]

886
00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:25,882
[ALL CHEERING]

887
00:40:29,969 --> 00:40:33,139
You know, Donna, I think
you would thrive in Chicago.

888
00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:34,974
The night life, the big city.

889
00:40:35,058 --> 00:40:37,393
I do owe Derrick Rose a brunch.

890
00:40:37,477 --> 00:40:40,813
But I like it here, plus, things
are getting serious with Joe.

891
00:40:40,897 --> 00:40:42,857
And if I'm gonna move
to any other city...

892
00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:44,359
I know, it's gonna be Seattle.

893
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:47,862
No, Istanbul. Girl,
it's the Seattle of Eurasia.

894
00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:49,781
It's hot!
All right, I'm gonna bounce.

895
00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:51,904
I'm gonna go to Tommy's party.
I'll see y'all there.

896
00:40:52,075 --> 00:40:53,076
[SIGHS]

897
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:54,719
Leslie, I know that
you're asking people

898
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,537
to go with you,
and I just want to tell you,

899
00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:57,789
that you can count me in!

900
00:40:58,665 --> 00:41:00,124
Gayle and I have
been talking about

901
00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:01,393
our golden years
in the big city.

902
00:41:01,417 --> 00:41:03,336
This is perfect, the four of us

903
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:05,338
in Chicago!

904
00:41:05,421 --> 00:41:06,965
Oh, my God!

905
00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:09,384
I gotta call her right now,
but, yeah! Chicago!

906
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,177
Ben, this is a disaster.

907
00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:13,221
I thought of 20
different pairings

908
00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:14,573
of people that
might come with us.

909
00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:17,183
And none of them were
"Larry" and "no one."

910
00:41:17,266 --> 00:41:18,906
I don't know,
it sounds pretty good to me.

911
00:41:18,935 --> 00:41:22,730
The windy city, me, my lady,
my boy Lar-bones...

912
00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:24,816
What? Larry's great.

913
00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:25,984
Have you lost your mind?

914
00:41:28,277 --> 00:41:30,571
Guys, this is the most
important night of my life.

915
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:33,116
Which means it's the most
important night of your lives, too.

916
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:34,200
Speak for yourself.

917
00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:36,595
I once got into a cab that Kyra
Sedgwick was getting out of!

918
00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:38,955
No way, the closer?

919
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:41,124
It's opening night.
Let's do this!

920
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:43,626
Hey, butt-weiners!
[CHUCKLING]

921
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:46,212
[SINGING]
<i>Look who I found</i>

922
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:47,588
Daddy!

923
00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:50,633
No! Your father ruined my last
business. Why would you bring him here?

924
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:52,885
Mmm. Because you told
me to look for VIPs

925
00:41:52,969 --> 00:41:56,931
and my daddy is
the VI-est P I know.

926
00:41:57,140 --> 00:41:58,266
I love you, Daddy.

927
00:41:58,349 --> 00:41:59,600
I love you, too, angel!

928
00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:00,810
Money, please!

929
00:42:02,103 --> 00:42:03,813
Money, please!
Money, money, money!

930
00:42:03,896 --> 00:42:04,897
Craig, grab a drink!

931
00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:06,381
Why would you come here,
Saperstein?

932
00:42:06,983 --> 00:42:10,153
I came here to see
your flourishing business.

933
00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:11,654
To see how well you're doing.

934
00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:14,157
Wow! You're packed!

935
00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:16,868
Can you squeeze me in,
or do I need a reservation?

936
00:42:16,951 --> 00:42:17,952
[LAUGHS]

937
00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:20,329
'Cause there's nobody here.

938
00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:23,541
Maybe this restaurant
won't be a huge success.

939
00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:26,044
Maybe it won't be
packed with celebrities.

940
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,087
Tommy!
Or maybe it will!

941
00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:30,548
Hello, Joan! Hello, Perd.
Hi!

942
00:42:30,631 --> 00:42:32,258
Thanks for coming by.

943
00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:33,676
Can I get you a drink?

944
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,053
I'll have the "Joan."

945
00:42:35,136 --> 00:42:38,681
It's a tumbler of gin and it's got
crushed aspirin around the rim.

946
00:42:39,182 --> 00:42:41,100
And I would just
like an empty glass.

947
00:42:41,350 --> 00:42:44,020
Steve, can we get these
cocktails going for Joan and Perd?

948
00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:46,814
Oh, look! Kay Hanley, rock
star. Thanks for coming by!

949
00:42:46,898 --> 00:42:48,274
Thanks for having me.

950
00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:52,403
Come on in, guys. You might
wanna grab a seat, Dr. Saperstein.

951
00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:55,615
Looks like it's
getting a little crowded.

952
00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:04,373
And I said, "You don't need a
towel. You need a washcloth."

953
00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:05,708
[ALL LAUGHING]

954
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,588
That's a good one.
That's a good one.

955
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:14,509
I don't think that the girls have
ever been happier or more surprised

956
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,719
than when you got
up on that stage.

957
00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:19,305
Well, having you and
the kids in my life

958
00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:20,932
has made me a different person.

959
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:22,767
And I like it.

960
00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:26,395
There's more room
in my life for fun.

961
00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:27,605
[CHUCKLES]

962
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:29,565
Speaking of which.

963
00:43:30,691 --> 00:43:33,069
How would you like
to have a little more fun?

964
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:37,949
Another.
Make it a double.

965
00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:40,118
Oh, well, well, well, well.

966
00:43:40,243 --> 00:43:42,120
You know I had a
secession meeting tonight

967
00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:44,556
and nobody was there because
they were all at that stupid concert.

968
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:47,166
You and Knope totally
boned me on that.

969
00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:49,502
Betrayed by my two best
friends in the world.

970
00:43:49,585 --> 00:43:52,421
Not now, Jeremy. I am
in the middle of a situation.

971
00:43:52,505 --> 00:43:55,174
My ex-wife, Tammy,
is right over there.

972
00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,426
She is sexually voracious,

973
00:43:57,510 --> 00:43:59,887
and she'll do anything
to make me jealous.

974
00:44:00,930 --> 00:44:02,807
Promise me you
won't sleep with her,

975
00:44:02,890 --> 00:44:06,269
even though it would be quite
easy, and certainly mind-blowing.

976
00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:08,146
Yeah, sure, man,
you got it, no problem.

977
00:44:09,021 --> 00:44:11,566
I mean, dudes gotta stick
together, right? Right?

978
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:15,027
Man, she is wearing
that dress, though.

979
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:16,612
Oh! Mmm.

980
00:44:20,408 --> 00:44:21,617
Hi, Ben!

981
00:44:22,451 --> 00:44:24,412
It's me, Barney,
from the accounting firm.

982
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:25,663
Yes, hi, Barney.

983
00:44:25,746 --> 00:44:27,748
You don't have to
introduce yourself every time.

984
00:44:27,832 --> 00:44:30,018
I was gonna wait until your
birthday to give this to you,

985
00:44:30,042 --> 00:44:32,044
but I'm just too excited.

986
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:35,339
This is the copyright
to <i>Cones of Dunshire.</i>

987
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:38,676
After you gave it to us as
a gift, we saw its potential,

988
00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:41,721
so we formed a "C" Corp and
registered it in your name!

989
00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:45,057
This is amazing.
How can I ever repay you?

990
00:44:45,141 --> 00:44:47,310
Come work for us at
the accounting firm?

991
00:44:48,060 --> 00:44:49,145
Okay.

992
00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:50,730
[EXCLAIMS]

993
00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:52,648
No, sorry, I can't.

994
00:44:53,107 --> 00:44:55,401
Wow. Shortest one yet.

995
00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:57,653
Thank you.

996
00:44:59,739 --> 00:45:00,823
What's your name?

997
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:03,034
Hey, You ready to do this?

998
00:45:03,492 --> 00:45:04,911
Let's grab a handle of amaretto,

999
00:45:04,994 --> 00:45:06,913
head to the ladies' john,
and see what's what.

1000
00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:08,998
Tammy, I don't wanna fight you.

1001
00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:11,959
Or do whatever it is
that you're suggesting.

1002
00:45:12,043 --> 00:45:13,044
Oh, my God.

1003
00:45:13,127 --> 00:45:14,128
What?

1004
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:15,504
That's Jeremy Jamm.

1005
00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:17,798
Ron's mortal enemy
and my former lover.

1006
00:45:18,341 --> 00:45:20,176
Ron hit the roof
when he found out.

1007
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,637
Everything about
Jamm drives him crazy.

1008
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:23,846
He's kind of cute.

1009
00:45:25,139 --> 00:45:27,850
I wonder if the carpet
is as curly as the drapes.

1010
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:29,894
Excuse me.

1011
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:34,398
Babe, thank you so much for
organizing the Mouse Rat reunion.

1012
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:37,109
It was actually Ginuwine
who arranged everything.

1013
00:45:37,944 --> 00:45:39,278
He really cares about you.

1014
00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:41,405
You're the greatest wife ever.

1015
00:45:41,489 --> 00:45:43,241
I wish I could marry
you all over again.

1016
00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:46,035
[GASPS] Let's get divorced.
That way we can get married again!

1017
00:45:46,118 --> 00:45:47,119
Yes! Let's do it.

1018
00:45:47,203 --> 00:45:48,329
You want to?
Yes!

1019
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:50,581
We should do that, right?
Yeah, totally.

1020
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:52,291
We're getting divorced!
Yes!

1021
00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:56,295
TOM: This is amazing! Practically
everyone we invited came.

1022
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:58,547
Except for Liam Hemsworth
and Miley Cyrus.

1023
00:45:58,631 --> 00:46:01,026
I was hoping tonight would be magical
enough to get them back together.

1024
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:03,427
Let it go, friend.
He's not good enough for her.

1025
00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:04,553
And vice-versa!

1026
00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:06,514
Thomas.

1027
00:46:06,681 --> 00:46:08,391
Yes, we don't get along.

1028
00:46:08,474 --> 00:46:12,186
But I look at you,
I see driven, I see smart,

1029
00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:16,232
and I just had the best Italian
meal I've ever had in my life.

1030
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,526
And I've been to Dallas.

1031
00:46:19,277 --> 00:46:20,403
I'm in.
No way.

1032
00:46:20,486 --> 00:46:22,381
I'm not gonna let you take
another one of my businesses.

1033
00:46:22,405 --> 00:46:25,491
No, I'm in as a partner.

1034
00:46:25,574 --> 00:46:27,410
I'm always looking
for new investments.

1035
00:46:27,493 --> 00:46:29,912
I've got an auto dealership,
I've got a massage parlor,

1036
00:46:29,996 --> 00:46:32,665
a dry cleaning transactional
holding company

1037
00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:35,918
that is doing unbelievably
well, I might add.

1038
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:37,044
What do you say?

1039
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:39,797
You know what?

1040
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,275
I'm not really
looking for investors

1041
00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:44,218
given the almost embarrassing
level of success I've attained.

1042
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:45,761
But I'll consider it.

1043
00:46:45,845 --> 00:46:47,364
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to get

1044
00:46:47,388 --> 00:46:48,889
some pictures for
my Wall of Fame.

1045
00:46:49,181 --> 00:46:52,435
Uh, excuse me, Miss Hanley?
Do you mind if I snap a "You-ie"?

1046
00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:53,745
It's what I call
selfies of other people.

1047
00:46:53,769 --> 00:46:54,770
Sure.

1048
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:57,982
Can I get everyone's
attention, please?

1049
00:46:58,107 --> 00:47:03,529
Our goal was to get 2,000
signatures in support of the merger.

1050
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:09,410
We got almost 4,000 on the
first night! [ALL CHEERING]

1051
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:12,830
Thank you all
for your hard work.

1052
00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:16,334
You may have...
literally saved this town.

1053
00:47:16,417 --> 00:47:19,545
Now, back to the owner of
this amazing restaurant,

1054
00:47:19,628 --> 00:47:21,797
"Pawnee's most
eligible entrepreneur,

1055
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:24,133
"the man who puts
the 'Bist' in 'Bistro, '

1056
00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:26,010
"He..."
"Card one of six."

1057
00:47:26,093 --> 00:47:28,763
Okay, I'm not reading this
whole thing. Mr. Tom Haverford!

1058
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:31,515
Hey, everybody,
let's keep this party going!

1059
00:47:31,599 --> 00:47:33,309
The next round of
gnocchi is on the house!

1060
00:47:33,726 --> 00:47:34,977
[ALL CHEERING]

1061
00:47:40,316 --> 00:47:41,817
Are you crying?

1062
00:47:42,818 --> 00:47:44,904
They're just gonna
make each other so miserable.

1063
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:48,449
[TAMMY MUTTERING]

1064
00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:49,533
Ah...

1065
00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:51,494
[GARGLING]

1066
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:55,915
You look sad, Knope.

1067
00:47:56,415 --> 00:47:58,667
Couldn't find any
takers for Chicago?

1068
00:47:58,751 --> 00:48:00,669
Everybody turned
me down but Larry.

1069
00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:02,338
Ouch.
Yeah.

1070
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:03,589
Well, cheer up.

1071
00:48:03,672 --> 00:48:07,385
You got a new job, new
challenges, all that crap you like.

1072
00:48:07,468 --> 00:48:10,346
Man, I'm gonna miss Pawnee.
I wish I could stay.

1073
00:48:10,429 --> 00:48:14,100
Keep an eye on it,
raise my kids here.

1074
00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:16,060
And let's be honest,
am I ever gonna find

1075
00:48:16,143 --> 00:48:17,978
a better breakfast
than JJ's Diner?

1076
00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:19,105
You will not, no.

1077
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,023
I know it's not easy to leave

1078
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:24,068
but this job does seem perfect.

1079
00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:27,822
Of course, I'd prefer you
use your talents elsewhere.

1080
00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:29,698
With your courage
and small frame,

1081
00:48:29,782 --> 00:48:31,534
you'd make
an excellent coal miner.

1082
00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,244
Thank you, Ron.
That's very sweet.

1083
00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:35,454
It's time for you to
move up in the world.

1084
00:48:35,955 --> 00:48:37,832
Your ambition was
bound to take you away

1085
00:48:37,915 --> 00:48:39,834
from the town you love
sooner or later.

1086
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,794
And you can't have
everything you want.

1087
00:48:41,877 --> 00:48:43,254
Oh, my God.

1088
00:48:43,629 --> 00:48:46,215
[CHUCKLING] I can have
everything I want! Thank you!

1089
00:48:46,298 --> 00:48:47,776
I feel like you're
not listening to me.

1090
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:51,303
And by the way, don't think that
we are not discussing Duke Silver.

1091
00:48:51,804 --> 00:48:53,556
When were you going
to tell me about that?

1092
00:48:53,639 --> 00:48:56,267
Unbelievable.
I am so furious at you.

1093
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:57,510
But I've already forgiven you

1094
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,271
and you need to teach me how
to play the saxophone. Okay, bye.

1095
00:49:07,570 --> 00:49:09,071
Hi, Leslie, and everyone.
I'm Grant.

1096
00:49:09,155 --> 00:49:10,281
No time for small talk!

1097
00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:14,660
I think the best version of me
working as Midwest Regional Director

1098
00:49:14,743 --> 00:49:16,412
is not in Chicago.

1099
00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:18,164
It's right here in Pawnee.

1100
00:49:18,581 --> 00:49:19,582
How so?

1101
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:21,250
The financial savings
here are enormous.

1102
00:49:21,333 --> 00:49:23,544
The cost of living
is way lower here,

1103
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:26,338
and renting the entire
third floor of this building

1104
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:29,091
would be way cheaper than a
much smaller space in Chicago.

1105
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:32,761
Pawnee is actually closer to most
of the parks in the Midwest region.

1106
00:49:33,012 --> 00:49:35,598
And, it's got Tom's Bistro,

1107
00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:37,850
an exciting, new-wave,
Italian eatery,

1108
00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:40,478
that is equal parts Dean
Martin and Bruno Mars.

1109
00:49:40,561 --> 00:49:42,289
But that is just what the
<i>Indianapolis Star</i> is saying.

1110
00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:43,748
Let's see what
everyone else has to say.

1111
00:49:43,772 --> 00:49:46,275
No, no. This is not what
we're doing right now.

1112
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:47,485
But congrats.

1113
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:48,611
Leslie should stay here.

1114
00:49:48,694 --> 00:49:49,934
And if you don't agree with us,

1115
00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:51,965
it's nine against one and we
can make you disappear forever.

1116
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:52,990
What?

1117
00:49:53,073 --> 00:49:54,617
I said we have free WiFi.

1118
00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:57,453
Look, Pawnee is
a town on the rise

1119
00:49:57,536 --> 00:50:00,247
and National Parks could
get in on the ground floor.

1120
00:50:00,331 --> 00:50:02,625
It's the best option.
Hands down.

1121
00:50:03,918 --> 00:50:06,170
Well, I'll run this up
the flagpole.

1122
00:50:06,837 --> 00:50:09,798
Also, can you bring
back <i>Power Rangers?</i>

1123
00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:12,176
I don't know what it is you do,

1124
00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:15,221
but you seem important enough
to get that done.

1125
00:50:16,096 --> 00:50:18,724
LESLIE: <i>Sometimes you have
to make the hardest climb</i>

1126
00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:20,726
<i>to see the most
beautiful sunrise.</i>

1127
00:50:20,809 --> 00:50:23,229
I read that once on an
old lady's decorative pillow.

1128
00:50:23,312 --> 00:50:25,105
But it is really
how I feel today.

1129
00:50:25,606 --> 00:50:27,983
<i>I've climbed a very weird
and rocky mountain</i>

1130
00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:31,820
<i>and it was a pain in the ass and
my legs are tired and I'm starving.</i>

1131
00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:33,989
<i>But the sun is rising over a sea</i>

1132
00:50:34,073 --> 00:50:35,991
<i>of love and waffles
and possibility.</i>

1133
00:50:36,075 --> 00:50:39,620
<i>So I'm just gonna relax
and take a deep breath</i>

1134
00:50:40,829 --> 00:50:44,083
<i>and enjoy this view
for as long as I possibly can.</i>

1135
00:50:47,628 --> 00:50:49,255
LESLIE: Call Ken and Rebecca

1136
00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:50,714
and no statements to the press

1137
00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:52,508
unless I personally
release them.

1138
00:50:52,591 --> 00:50:53,759
We are on a media lockdown.

1139
00:50:53,842 --> 00:50:56,178
Where is Ed with the file? Ed!

1140
00:50:57,930 --> 00:51:00,641
I'm sorry, Miss Knope.
I lost the file, it's gone.

1141
00:51:00,724 --> 00:51:01,767
Ed, you're a nice guy,

1142
00:51:01,850 --> 00:51:03,912
but you're the most incompetent
person I've ever worked with.

1143
00:51:03,936 --> 00:51:05,813
And that includes Terry.

1144
00:51:07,106 --> 00:51:09,275
Jeez. Get it together, Terry.

1145
00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:11,652
Clean out your desk.
You're fired.

1146
00:51:11,735 --> 00:51:13,296
I understand.
Thank you for the literally

1147
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,030
hundreds of opportunities
you've given me.

1148
00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:17,283
Goodbye, everyone!
It's been a great three years.

1149
00:51:17,366 --> 00:51:19,618
Cancel my flight to South
Dakota. We'll do it next month.

1150
00:51:19,702 --> 00:51:20,911
Babe, what's our play here?

1151
00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:22,138
Everyone's waiting
downstairs in my office.

1152
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:23,640
Let's just go hear
what they have to say.

1153
00:51:23,664 --> 00:51:24,808
Honey, tonight's your big night.

1154
00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:25,934
Well, this is more important.

1155
00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:26,959
Where are the kids?

1156
00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:28,043
APRIL: Right here.

1157
00:51:28,127 --> 00:51:29,712
LESLIE: Hey, guys!

1158
00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:31,755
Mommy and Daddy have
to do a little work

1159
00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,275
and you're going to
have a fun play-date

1160
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:35,467
with Uncle Andy and
Auntie April, okay?

1161
00:51:35,551 --> 00:51:36,885
Let's go, munchkins.
I forgot.

1162
00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:38,929
Ben, how many bags of
marshmallows do I give them?

1163
00:51:38,971 --> 00:51:41,348
None. Just let April
do everything.

1164
00:51:41,682 --> 00:51:44,184
Oh, God, one day in
the distant future,

1165
00:51:44,268 --> 00:51:46,645
things will be calm
and normal, right?

1166
00:51:46,729 --> 00:51:48,981
Probably not.
But that's okay.

1167
00:51:49,481 --> 00:51:51,525
You ready?
Not at all.

1168
00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:54,111
But that's never
stopped us before.