1
00:00:01,225 --> 00:00:04,361
Okay, Ron. Enough's enough.
Let's talk plans for Diane's baby shower.
2
00:00:04,481 --> 00:00:06,566
- Dear God, woman.
- Three main activities--
3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,768
baby bingo, baby food tasting,
4
00:00:08,802 --> 00:00:12,021
and my personal favorite--
baby onesie decorating station.
5
00:00:12,072 --> 00:00:13,806
I'm gonna make mine
look like an astronaut.
6
00:00:13,824 --> 00:00:15,141
What are you doing
up there in space, baby?
7
00:00:15,159 --> 00:00:16,659
Ah! So cute!
Okay.
8
00:00:16,693 --> 00:00:19,293
I have some gift ideas.
I was looking at a very adorable stroller.
9
00:00:19,347 --> 00:00:21,181
We already have a stroller.
10
00:00:21,215 --> 00:00:22,399
Oh, shoot. Really?
11
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:23,817
I'm gonna have to think
of something else.
12
00:00:23,851 --> 00:00:24,818
[Gasps]
13
00:00:24,852 --> 00:00:25,935
Oh, my God, whose baby is that?
14
00:00:25,987 --> 00:00:27,437
That would be mine.
15
00:00:27,488 --> 00:00:29,722
Guys, get in here!
Ron has a baby!
16
00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:32,058
- Oh, Ron, cool baby.
- Thank you, Andrew.
17
00:00:32,076 --> 00:00:34,110
Everyone,
I'd like to introduce you
18
00:00:34,161 --> 00:00:37,781
to my son, John middle name
redacted Swanson.
19
00:00:37,832 --> 00:00:40,000
John was born some time ago,
20
00:00:40,034 --> 00:00:42,669
weighing multiple pounds
and several ounces.
21
00:00:42,703 --> 00:00:45,571
Much like his father,
he is a fan of silence.
22
00:00:45,589 --> 00:00:47,073
Please keep your voices down.
23
00:00:47,091 --> 00:00:48,541
How am I supposed
to keep my voice down
24
00:00:48,575 --> 00:00:50,343
when you had your baby,
25
00:00:50,378 --> 00:00:51,961
[high-pitched] and you didn't
tell me that you had your baby?
26
00:00:52,013 --> 00:00:53,413
Why would you need to know
something like that?
27
00:00:53,431 --> 00:00:55,465
Why would I--
oh, my God.
28
00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:57,133
I have not even
sent Diane a gift.
29
00:00:57,184 --> 00:00:59,252
She's just walking around,
30
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:00,887
wondering why I haven't
sent her a gift yet.
31
00:01:00,921 --> 00:01:02,272
Should we do something?
32
00:01:02,306 --> 00:01:03,723
Just let her tire herself out.
33
00:01:03,757 --> 00:01:05,942
If you need anything from us,
Ron, please just let us know.
34
00:01:05,976 --> 00:01:07,427
Actually there is something.
35
00:01:07,445 --> 00:01:09,646
Could one of you please
stop by the pet store
36
00:01:09,697 --> 00:01:11,865
and pick up some fish food
for me?
37
00:01:11,899 --> 00:01:13,650
When did you get a fish?
38
00:01:13,701 --> 00:01:16,653
[Triumphant music]
39
00:01:16,687 --> 00:01:24,711
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:35,519 --> 00:01:36,820
Okay, youth committee.
41
00:01:36,854 --> 00:01:38,855
Update on the unity concert.
Madison.
42
00:01:38,906 --> 00:01:41,191
So far, 12 bands have said yes.
43
00:01:41,242 --> 00:01:42,642
And we asked them all
to submit a song
44
00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,077
for the new
town anthem contest.
45
00:01:44,111 --> 00:01:46,029
I think we should book Orin
as a headliner.
46
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,530
I think it's a no-brainer.
47
00:01:47,581 --> 00:01:50,533
Um, he dislocates his shoulder
to the music of Billy Joel.
48
00:01:50,584 --> 00:01:51,868
The Pawnee Journal called it,
49
00:01:51,919 --> 00:01:53,036
"Why would anyone do this?"
50
00:01:53,087 --> 00:01:54,871
Stop suggesting Orin.
51
00:01:54,922 --> 00:01:56,539
Craig, any update
on the art tents?
52
00:01:56,554 --> 00:01:58,634
14 local artists have
signed up to show their work.
53
00:01:58,659 --> 00:02:00,543
It was going to be 15,
but then this one guy
54
00:02:00,594 --> 00:02:02,378
described himself
as "Jackson Pollock-esque"
55
00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:04,013
and I told him that's
finger painting for adults
56
00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:05,381
and I hate it!
57
00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:08,017
The Pawnee-Eagleton merger
has made for a rough year,
58
00:02:08,052 --> 00:02:09,936
both for me and for the town.
59
00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:11,838
But if I can pull off
this unity concert
60
00:02:11,856 --> 00:02:14,224
and prove that this merger
was a success,
61
00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:18,728
Pawnee might once again
tolerate-slash-ignore me.
62
00:02:18,779 --> 00:02:20,847
I know that sounds bad,
but for a politician
63
00:02:20,865 --> 00:02:23,182
it's pretty much
the best-case scenario.
64
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,151
You guys might as well be
a pile of leaves
65
00:02:25,185 --> 00:02:26,719
because you're about
to get blown away.
66
00:02:26,754 --> 00:02:30,957
I have booked a meeting with
none other than Grant Larson.
67
00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:34,694
- No one knows who that is?
- Um, I do.
68
00:02:34,712 --> 00:02:36,463
"Grant Larson,"
otherwise known as Elton John.
69
00:02:36,497 --> 00:02:37,747
Congratulations, Leslie.
70
00:02:37,798 --> 00:02:39,332
No, Grant Larson
is the director
71
00:02:39,366 --> 00:02:41,868
of the Midwest branch
of the National Park Service.
72
00:02:41,886 --> 00:02:43,703
He's basically
the Liam Bonneville
73
00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:46,055
of the Midwest.
74
00:02:46,090 --> 00:02:47,390
Liam Bonneville?
75
00:02:47,424 --> 00:02:49,175
The department of the interior's
resident bad boy?
76
00:02:49,209 --> 00:02:51,644
He's basically the Tim Dweck--
Okay, never mind.
77
00:02:51,679 --> 00:02:54,097
I have asked Grant
to declare Eagleton Hills
78
00:02:54,148 --> 00:02:55,815
a national park
79
00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:57,767
as the grand finale
of our unity concert.
80
00:02:57,818 --> 00:02:59,235
Great idea, Leslie.
81
00:02:59,270 --> 00:03:00,520
And with that update,
82
00:03:00,554 --> 00:03:02,405
the Pawnee new founder's day
unity concert
83
00:03:02,439 --> 00:03:04,524
is now officially...
84
00:03:04,558 --> 00:03:06,442
ahead of schedule!
85
00:03:06,494 --> 00:03:09,913
And that banner unfurling
marks the 100th time
86
00:03:09,947 --> 00:03:13,500
that one of my projects
has been...
87
00:03:13,534 --> 00:03:15,067
ahead of schedule.
88
00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:17,203
This is your chance
to put your names
89
00:03:17,237 --> 00:03:21,424
on the Pawnee unity concert,
the biggest event of 2014...
90
00:03:21,458 --> 00:03:23,042
besides the unveiling
of Tricia's new highlights.
91
00:03:23,076 --> 00:03:25,628
You think I wouldn't notice?
You look fly as hell, girl!
92
00:03:25,679 --> 00:03:26,913
[Laughter]
93
00:03:26,931 --> 00:03:29,148
This unity concert
needs corporate sponsorship,
94
00:03:29,183 --> 00:03:31,134
so Ben and I are meeting
with local bigwigs.
95
00:03:31,185 --> 00:03:33,803
I'm gonna do what I do best--
lock down deals.
96
00:03:33,854 --> 00:03:36,389
And dork-asaurus over here is
gonna handle the boring stuff.
97
00:03:36,423 --> 00:03:40,777
You said you genuinely valued
my business acumen.
98
00:03:40,811 --> 00:03:43,613
Also, I'm your boss.
99
00:03:43,647 --> 00:03:45,231
Oh, my God, he's so cute.
100
00:03:45,265 --> 00:03:47,266
You're the cutest
little boo-bear I've ever seen.
101
00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:48,902
You are the world's
most adorable baby
102
00:03:48,936 --> 00:03:50,486
and I love you!
103
00:03:50,538 --> 00:03:52,605
- You are so freaking precious!
- [Growls]
104
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:53,944
Look what Gayle made
for the baby.
105
00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:56,409
It says "Property
of Pawnee government."
106
00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:57,827
Isn't that adorable?
107
00:03:59,496 --> 00:04:01,214
Come on, John.
108
00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:05,001
Jeez.
109
00:04:05,052 --> 00:04:06,169
Here we are...
110
00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:08,621
the park that borders
Pawnee and Eagleton.
111
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,173
This is the perfect place
for the press conference
112
00:04:10,224 --> 00:04:11,591
to announce our unity concert.
113
00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:13,305
People are gonna clap,
they're gonna cheer.
114
00:04:13,310 --> 00:04:15,762
Today might be the day
that I finally crowd surf.
115
00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:18,130
I should probably
empty my pockets just in case.
116
00:04:18,148 --> 00:04:19,682
Hey, one question.
117
00:04:19,733 --> 00:04:21,517
Um, where do you think
you're gonna stand,
118
00:04:21,569 --> 00:04:24,871
in front of the graffiti
that says "Pawnee, you suck,"
119
00:04:24,905 --> 00:04:26,656
or "Go home, Eagleton snobs"?
120
00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,274
I painted over that graffiti
a week ago.
121
00:04:28,308 --> 00:04:29,609
These people are the worst!
122
00:04:29,643 --> 00:04:31,494
I cannot announce
a unity concert
123
00:04:31,528 --> 00:04:32,912
in front of a picture
of a bald eagle
124
00:04:32,947 --> 00:04:34,280
giving the middle finger.
125
00:04:34,314 --> 00:04:35,531
Yeah, you probably
wanna stand to the side
126
00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:36,833
so people can see it.
127
00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:38,818
You know, why do we even
have this wall?
128
00:04:38,836 --> 00:04:41,004
We're supposed to be
uniting the two towns,
129
00:04:41,038 --> 00:04:43,990
and this literally
divides them.
130
00:04:44,008 --> 00:04:45,208
We should just knock it down.
131
00:04:45,259 --> 00:04:48,044
On it, boss.
132
00:04:48,095 --> 00:04:49,295
Ahh!
133
00:04:49,329 --> 00:04:50,513
Ow.
134
00:04:50,547 --> 00:04:52,966
The kool-aid guy
makes it look so easy.
135
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,835
[Elevator dings]
136
00:04:55,853 --> 00:04:57,336
In the time I've worked here,
137
00:04:57,354 --> 00:04:58,771
I've taken great pains
138
00:04:58,806 --> 00:05:00,723
to see as little
of this building as possible.
139
00:05:00,774 --> 00:05:04,060
Turns out the third floor
is silent, empty,
140
00:05:04,111 --> 00:05:07,113
and completely free
of government work.
141
00:05:07,147 --> 00:05:09,198
I can't think of anything
more beautiful
142
00:05:09,233 --> 00:05:11,034
to share with my son.
143
00:05:11,068 --> 00:05:12,485
[Radiator sputtering]
144
00:05:12,519 --> 00:05:13,870
If I had a toolbox
145
00:05:13,904 --> 00:05:16,789
I could take care
of that faulty radiator.
146
00:05:16,824 --> 00:05:20,159
Ooh!
This place is a paradise!
147
00:05:20,193 --> 00:05:23,579
Nicely done, Tom.
We have 15 sponsorship offers.
148
00:05:23,631 --> 00:05:25,548
Make that 16.
Mitch Savner.
149
00:05:25,582 --> 00:05:27,366
- Savner Bleaches and Chemicals!
- That's it.
150
00:05:27,384 --> 00:05:29,085
You guys make my favorite
teeth-whitening strips--
151
00:05:29,136 --> 00:05:30,202
pearlies for girlies.
152
00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,554
It's unisex.
153
00:05:31,588 --> 00:05:33,256
The cartoon princess
on the label says so.
154
00:05:33,307 --> 00:05:35,207
I'll sponsor your concert.
155
00:05:35,225 --> 00:05:36,542
But I'm also looking
to invest in other ventures.
156
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,977
I have a feeling
a bright guy like you
157
00:05:38,012 --> 00:05:39,211
has some ideas of his own.
158
00:05:39,229 --> 00:05:41,230
I may have a few eggs
ready to hatch
159
00:05:41,265 --> 00:05:42,548
in the personal idea nest.
160
00:05:42,566 --> 00:05:44,434
Why don't you come
to my office tomorrow
161
00:05:44,485 --> 00:05:45,885
and pitch me your hottest idea?
162
00:05:45,903 --> 00:05:48,387
Perfect!
I'll see you then.
163
00:05:48,405 --> 00:05:49,555
Oh, that's pretty cool.
164
00:05:49,573 --> 00:05:51,240
It's all happening, Ben.
165
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:53,493
Soon I'll have a new career,
new crib, new friends.
166
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:54,861
[Sighs]
167
00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:56,696
If all goes well, this may be
one of the last times
168
00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,581
I ever have to speak to you.
169
00:05:58,615 --> 00:05:59,949
Come with me, I need your help.
170
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,786
Thank you so much, everyone,
for coming.
171
00:06:03,837 --> 00:06:05,237
And a special thank you
to the city council
172
00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:06,739
for their support.
173
00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:08,074
I was told there'd be
a free barbecue buffet?
174
00:06:08,092 --> 00:06:10,126
Just take some beef jerky
and...hush!
175
00:06:10,177 --> 00:06:14,347
This spring we will be holding
a massive unity concert
176
00:06:14,381 --> 00:06:17,750
to commemorate the merger
between Pawnee and Eagleton.
177
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:20,269
This three-day
music and arts festival
178
00:06:20,304 --> 00:06:23,723
will end on a day we will call
"New Founder's Day,"
179
00:06:23,757 --> 00:06:25,608
an official beginning
to our new town.
180
00:06:25,642 --> 00:06:27,310
A few years ago,
181
00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:29,479
Eagleton put up this wall
along the border.
182
00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:33,900
Now it is time
to tear down this wall.
183
00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:35,485
[Applause]
184
00:06:35,536 --> 00:06:36,953
In the name of unity,
185
00:06:36,987 --> 00:06:40,039
I have given some former
Eagletonians the first strike.
186
00:06:40,074 --> 00:06:41,874
Take it away, guys.
187
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:46,963
This is such a great day
for--
188
00:06:46,997 --> 00:06:48,331
[Bees buzzing]
Bees!
189
00:06:48,382 --> 00:06:49,665
Bees!
Oh!
190
00:06:49,717 --> 00:06:50,666
Nobody panic!
191
00:06:50,718 --> 00:06:52,618
Ohhh, noooo!
192
00:06:52,636 --> 00:06:54,804
Ah! It stung me
in the eyeball!
193
00:06:54,838 --> 00:06:57,757
[Laughing]
Oh, man, this is amazing, man.
194
00:06:57,791 --> 00:06:59,258
The stupid Eagletonians
195
00:06:59,292 --> 00:07:01,677
are totally getting the pwned
by these bees.
196
00:07:01,729 --> 00:07:03,169
I'm gonna send this
straight to tosh.
197
00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:05,898
[Laughing]
Ow, [bleep]! [Bleep]!
198
00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:07,934
Don't worry, babe,
I'll protect you.
199
00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:09,402
I got stung once, I'm immune.
200
00:07:09,436 --> 00:07:11,904
Go ahead and sting me, bees.
It does nothing.
201
00:07:13,419 --> 00:07:17,106
Leslie, it appears that most of the people
that were stung were from Eagleton.
202
00:07:17,346 --> 00:07:18,513
How did you pull that off?
203
00:07:18,548 --> 00:07:19,965
I didn't pull anything off.
204
00:07:19,999 --> 00:07:22,017
The Eagletonians were simply
closest to the wall.
205
00:07:22,051 --> 00:07:25,303
Plus, one Pawneean was stung...
in his mouth
206
00:07:25,337 --> 00:07:27,057
because he was laughing
at the Eagletonians.
207
00:07:27,106 --> 00:07:29,941
How did you get your bees
into the wall,
208
00:07:29,976 --> 00:07:32,177
and how long did it take
to plan
209
00:07:32,195 --> 00:07:34,512
this hilarious bee prank
on Eagleton?
210
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:37,315
They were not my bees, Trodd.
211
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:39,951
And for the last time
this was not a prank.
212
00:07:39,986 --> 00:07:42,037
I did not know
that bees were in that wall.
213
00:07:42,071 --> 00:07:43,455
I mean, in fact
you should treat this
214
00:07:43,489 --> 00:07:44,706
like a public service
announcement.
215
00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:47,375
Everybody...should check
their walls for bees.
216
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:49,294
Nice try, prank queen.
Probably bees in there.
217
00:07:49,328 --> 00:07:50,962
Okay, that's all the time
I have.
218
00:07:50,997 --> 00:07:52,297
What else can you do
with your bees?
219
00:07:52,331 --> 00:07:53,548
Leslie, what's your next prank?
220
00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:54,749
Ooh.
221
00:07:54,801 --> 00:07:56,718
Leslie, Grant Larson
is on the phone
222
00:07:56,752 --> 00:07:58,053
from the National Park Service.
223
00:07:58,087 --> 00:07:59,387
I cannot meet with him
right now.
224
00:07:59,422 --> 00:08:00,705
We are in crisis mode, okay?
225
00:08:00,723 --> 00:08:02,841
Larry, just tell him
I need to reschedule
226
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:04,810
because I am trying
to fix my bee hole disaster.
227
00:08:04,844 --> 00:08:06,428
- Okeydokey.
- Wait! No, wait!
228
00:08:06,479 --> 00:08:08,180
No!
Larry, don't tell him that.
229
00:08:08,214 --> 00:08:09,815
Don't mention my bee hole.
230
00:08:09,849 --> 00:08:11,650
Just as we suspected, John.
[Radiator humming]
231
00:08:11,684 --> 00:08:13,885
We repaired
the valve stem seal,
232
00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:15,887
and now all that remains
is to tighten down
233
00:08:15,905 --> 00:08:18,323
this packing nut.
234
00:08:18,357 --> 00:08:20,242
And...that should do it.
[Radiator quiets]
235
00:08:20,276 --> 00:08:21,610
Can we help you?
236
00:08:21,661 --> 00:08:24,579
No. We have everything
under control.
237
00:08:24,614 --> 00:08:26,397
My crew's redoing
this whole floor.
238
00:08:26,415 --> 00:08:28,233
We're the only people
allowed up here right now.
239
00:08:28,251 --> 00:08:31,086
Well, proceed with your work.
You won't notice us at all.
240
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,420
[Laughs]
241
00:08:32,455 --> 00:08:33,788
We're gonna be kinda loud.
242
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,758
[Laughs]
My son is several weeks old.
243
00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:39,044
He's quite familiar
with the sound of power tools.
244
00:08:40,847 --> 00:08:43,915
Okay, how about this one--
Lasik for fingernails?
245
00:08:43,933 --> 00:08:46,751
Cut your fingernails once,
never have to cut 'em again.
246
00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:48,920
All we need
is a complicated laser
247
00:08:48,938 --> 00:08:50,355
I have no idea how to build.
248
00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:52,807
- Seems impossible.
- All right.
249
00:08:52,859 --> 00:08:56,144
Uh-oh! "Saltweens!"
Saltines for tweens.
250
00:08:56,195 --> 00:08:58,446
Seems...unnecessary?
251
00:08:58,481 --> 00:08:59,531
[Groans]
252
00:08:59,565 --> 00:09:00,949
The only business idea I have
253
00:09:00,983 --> 00:09:02,617
that's even remotely
fleshed out is a restaurant.
254
00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:03,902
No way.
255
00:09:03,936 --> 00:09:05,437
Restaurants
were ranked number one
256
00:09:05,471 --> 00:09:07,989
in Accounting Magazine's
"Riskiest Businesses" issue.
257
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,201
That was their last issue
before they folded, actually.
258
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,493
Magazines are also very risky.
259
00:09:11,544 --> 00:09:12,827
I can't believe
an angel investor
260
00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:14,112
floated down from the heavens,
261
00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:15,547
and I don't even have
anything to pitch him.
262
00:09:15,581 --> 00:09:17,465
Come on, you must've had
one good business idea.
263
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:18,967
You're 52 years old!
264
00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:21,419
No, I'm not.
But I do have an idea.
265
00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:22,721
It's air-tight.
266
00:09:22,755 --> 00:09:24,723
But I have to warn you,
it's not super sexy.
267
00:09:24,757 --> 00:09:27,309
- What is it?
- Okay, listen up.
268
00:09:27,343 --> 00:09:30,061
You would be the middleman
between dry cleaners
269
00:09:30,096 --> 00:09:32,681
and the companies
that sell chemicals...
270
00:09:32,732 --> 00:09:34,432
to dry cleaners.
271
00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:36,818
- Wow!
- Right?
272
00:09:36,852 --> 00:09:40,739
You're right, man.
That is not sexy.
273
00:09:40,773 --> 00:09:42,440
Leslie Knope's little stunt
274
00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:44,192
put three people
in the hospital.
275
00:09:44,243 --> 00:09:46,861
This bee incident
is just the latest assault
276
00:09:46,913 --> 00:09:48,914
coming from the Pawnee side
of this merger.
277
00:09:48,948 --> 00:09:51,482
Mike Patterson is Eagleton's
most tenacious reporter.
278
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,851
When he sinks his teeth
into something,
279
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,252
he's like a dog with a bone!
280
00:09:54,287 --> 00:09:55,587
Oh, my God!
281
00:09:55,621 --> 00:09:56,988
You can't lean in to whisper
and then yell.
282
00:09:57,006 --> 00:09:58,123
That's not fair.
283
00:09:58,157 --> 00:09:59,925
This merger is so fragile,
284
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:01,259
everyone is on edge,
285
00:10:01,294 --> 00:10:02,994
and no one is talking
about the unity concert.
286
00:10:03,012 --> 00:10:04,713
Why would anybody think
that was a prank?
287
00:10:04,764 --> 00:10:06,131
So sad.
People will believe anything.
288
00:10:06,165 --> 00:10:07,325
It was a prank though, right?
289
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:08,883
No more press, okay?
290
00:10:08,935 --> 00:10:10,719
You just have to lay low
for a while.
291
00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:12,387
I promise it'll all blow over.
292
00:10:12,438 --> 00:10:14,723
April, your competence
and your levelheadedness
293
00:10:14,774 --> 00:10:16,891
is very moving to me,
and I will follow your advice
294
00:10:16,943 --> 00:10:18,310
right after
I go to the hospital
295
00:10:18,344 --> 00:10:19,778
and apologize to every victim
in person.
296
00:10:19,812 --> 00:10:21,980
- Fine, but no cameras.
- Fine, I won't bring any.
297
00:10:22,014 --> 00:10:24,983
Aghh! I can't handle
all this fighting.
298
00:10:25,017 --> 00:10:26,952
It's like Thanksgiving 2004
all over again!
299
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:28,903
Don't even ask!
300
00:10:28,955 --> 00:10:31,373
Somebody follow me,
I'm distraught!
301
00:10:31,407 --> 00:10:34,692
Who's a big guy?
[Both baby talking]
302
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:35,961
Man, forget about working.
303
00:10:35,995 --> 00:10:38,630
I just wanna stare
at this baby all day.
304
00:10:38,664 --> 00:10:41,299
What is the nature
of your work on this floor?
305
00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:43,701
Total redo--new floors,
fixtures, plumbing.
306
00:10:43,719 --> 00:10:45,136
How long will it take?
307
00:10:45,171 --> 00:10:47,038
Six to eight weeks.
308
00:10:47,056 --> 00:10:48,340
Deal.
309
00:10:48,374 --> 00:10:51,209
I will do all this work for you
in the time allotted.
310
00:10:51,227 --> 00:10:53,478
Just have your tools
and materials brought up here.
311
00:10:53,512 --> 00:10:54,712
Are you crazy?
312
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:56,170
This is enough work
for a whole crew.
313
00:10:56,182 --> 00:10:57,582
I'm sure the government
believed you
314
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,150
when you told them that,
315
00:10:59,185 --> 00:11:02,887
and I tip my cap to you for
profiting off their ignoe.
316
00:11:02,905 --> 00:11:04,990
But I'm offering you
two months paid vacation
317
00:11:05,024 --> 00:11:08,243
and the ability to take credit
for my work,
318
00:11:08,277 --> 00:11:11,079
which will be flawless.
319
00:11:11,113 --> 00:11:15,417
Okay.
Guys, let's go!
320
00:11:15,451 --> 00:11:17,369
I got all help I'll need
right here.
321
00:11:17,403 --> 00:11:18,703
[Crying]
322
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,705
Okay, this is
the really exciting part.
323
00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:24,292
We buy tetrachloroethylene
at $1.60 a gallon,
324
00:11:24,343 --> 00:11:26,628
but we sell it back
at 2.38 a gallon.
325
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,213
Now I know
what you're thinking.
326
00:11:28,247 --> 00:11:31,132
What if it's a cleaner
who wants to buy glycol ethers?
327
00:11:31,183 --> 00:11:33,218
Ben, stop!
328
00:11:33,252 --> 00:11:34,752
This is so boring!
329
00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,087
This is like listening
to a TED talk
330
00:11:36,105 --> 00:11:37,272
by the color beige.
331
00:11:37,306 --> 00:11:40,025
Look, I know this idea
doesn't excite you.
332
00:11:40,059 --> 00:11:42,360
But I promise it'll make you
a lot of money.
333
00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:45,096
Well, I sold tons
of awesome stuff.
334
00:11:45,114 --> 00:11:46,481
Guess it makes sense
my next challenge
335
00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:48,817
is to sell something
mind-numbingly dull.
336
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:50,768
Dull?
337
00:11:50,786 --> 00:11:53,905
Does this look dull to you?
338
00:11:53,939 --> 00:11:56,241
Ahhhh.
339
00:11:56,275 --> 00:11:58,293
I'm so incredibly sorry.
340
00:11:58,327 --> 00:12:00,495
That's very kind of you,
Ms. Knope.
341
00:12:00,546 --> 00:12:02,780
I hope you look a lot
less gross very soon.
342
00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:05,583
Hey!
343
00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:08,970
Thanks for coming, Knope.
I knew we were besties.
344
00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:10,924
What do you got in there for me,
some dirty mags?
345
00:12:10,956 --> 00:12:13,458
No! These gift baskets
are for innocent victims...
346
00:12:13,476 --> 00:12:15,260
not for jerks who got stung
347
00:12:15,294 --> 00:12:16,845
because they were laughing
at other people's pain.
348
00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:18,012
Whatever.
349
00:12:18,064 --> 00:12:19,630
Got a lotta filth
in my kindle anyway.
350
00:12:19,648 --> 00:12:21,266
We can just hang.
351
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,234
- Wanna come up?
- What?
352
00:12:23,269 --> 00:12:24,302
- We gotta get this.
- Roll camera.
353
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,020
Tell me when.
Is my hair okay?
354
00:12:26,072 --> 00:12:27,489
We good?
355
00:12:27,523 --> 00:12:29,491
Welcome to Eagleton Now,
with Mike Patterson.
356
00:12:29,525 --> 00:12:31,443
We're live
ambushing Leslie Knope
357
00:12:31,477 --> 00:12:33,478
who's in the middle
of a crass publicity stunt,
358
00:12:33,496 --> 00:12:35,063
shoving cameras cameras
into the faces
359
00:12:35,097 --> 00:12:36,698
of these poor, injured victims.
360
00:12:36,749 --> 00:12:39,701
These are your cameras.
This is not a publicity stunt.
361
00:12:39,752 --> 00:12:41,536
I just came here by myself
362
00:12:41,587 --> 00:12:43,838
to apologize to all
the Eagletonians who got stung.
363
00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:46,758
Really? Because all we see
is you talking to your friend,
364
00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:49,427
known Eagleton hater
Jeremy Jamm.
365
00:12:49,462 --> 00:12:51,596
Excuse me, Mike.
That's, uh, best friend.
366
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:53,631
Pawneeans and Eagletonians
need to find a way
367
00:12:53,665 --> 00:12:55,850
to come together
and bury the hatchet.
368
00:12:55,885 --> 00:12:58,002
It doesn't matter
who bailed out who,
369
00:12:58,020 --> 00:12:59,721
or who seceded from you.
370
00:12:59,772 --> 00:13:01,106
Awesome idea, Lezzie.
371
00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:04,209
As a matter of fact I say
we should secede from Eagleton!
372
00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:06,745
Whose dumbass idea was it
for them to merge anyway?
373
00:13:06,779 --> 00:13:08,163
Mine. It was my idea.
374
00:13:08,214 --> 00:13:09,497
You heard it here first.
375
00:13:09,548 --> 00:13:11,883
Self-proclaimed dumbass
Leslie Knope
376
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,468
and councilman Jeremy Jamm
377
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,420
are spearheading
a Pawnee secession movement.
378
00:13:15,454 --> 00:13:17,305
And I, for one, am sick of it.
379
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,123
All right, you know what,
Eagleton, enough!
380
00:13:19,141 --> 00:13:20,425
Get these cameras outta here!
381
00:13:20,459 --> 00:13:22,594
Don't touch my camera,
you Pawnee animal!
382
00:13:22,628 --> 00:13:23,928
- Name-calling, huh?
- [Mouthing words]
383
00:13:23,962 --> 00:13:25,346
Classy move, douche bag.
384
00:13:25,397 --> 00:13:26,731
- [Gasps]
- Oh! All right.
385
00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,266
- [Screaming]
- Is that how you wanna play?
386
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,318
- Yeah! Come on!
- No fighting in a hospital.
387
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,992
There shouldn't be
fighting in a hospital!
388
00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:33,354
Wish I had my ninja stars!
389
00:13:33,405 --> 00:13:36,608
Oh, my God!
What's happening?
390
00:13:36,642 --> 00:13:37,859
- [Yells]
- Oh!
391
00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:39,915
Mother...puncher!
392
00:13:41,515 --> 00:13:43,464
Hey, girl.
What up?
393
00:13:43,704 --> 00:13:44,625
What are you wearing?
394
00:13:44,666 --> 00:13:46,622
It's to distract people
from my black eye.
395
00:13:46,673 --> 00:13:48,457
See?
It's working.
396
00:13:48,508 --> 00:13:52,695
Cool. Um...
well, there is some good news.
397
00:13:52,729 --> 00:13:56,415
That Mike Patterson guy's show
just aired, everyone is angry,
398
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:58,634
and Jamm is introducing
a secession bill
399
00:13:58,685 --> 00:13:59,965
at the next
city council meeting.
400
00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:01,671
- How is any of that good news?
- It's not.
401
00:14:01,705 --> 00:14:03,806
I just wanted you to have
a brief moment of happiness
402
00:14:03,857 --> 00:14:04,974
before you got sadder.
403
00:14:05,025 --> 00:14:07,777
Those jerks that hate the merger
are a minority.
404
00:14:07,811 --> 00:14:09,691
They're just shouting louder
than everyone else.
405
00:14:09,696 --> 00:14:13,199
I'm sorry this town keeps being
stupid and letting you down.
406
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:14,367
It sucks.
407
00:14:14,401 --> 00:14:15,985
It's okay, April.
It's fine.
408
00:14:16,036 --> 00:14:17,236
You know, it's a challenge.
409
00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:21,374
It's just like a big, fun...
410
00:14:21,408 --> 00:14:23,108
stinking turd nugget.
It sucks.
411
00:14:23,126 --> 00:14:24,443
You're right, everything sucks.
412
00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:26,962
Everything I try
with this merger backfires.
413
00:14:26,997 --> 00:14:30,166
I wonder what other
excellent surprise lies in store
414
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,634
for Leslie Knope.
415
00:14:31,668 --> 00:14:33,668
Leslie, Grant Larson
from the National Park Service
416
00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:34,953
is here for your meeting.
417
00:14:34,971 --> 00:14:36,172
Excellent.
418
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,641
Now I shall meet
with a very important person
419
00:14:38,675 --> 00:14:40,676
whilst sporting
a gruesome shiner.
420
00:14:40,727 --> 00:14:42,511
Hey, you're also wearing
a tie-dye t-shirt.
421
00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:45,681
[Laughing]
Oh, yes! I am!
422
00:14:45,732 --> 00:14:47,316
Wonderful!
423
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:48,651
Mitch!
Thanks for meeting me.
424
00:14:48,685 --> 00:14:49,819
My pleasure.
425
00:14:49,853 --> 00:14:52,137
It's not often
that I see someone
426
00:14:52,155 --> 00:14:54,523
with your sparkle and passion.
427
00:14:54,574 --> 00:14:56,575
That's what makes
businesses work--
428
00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:57,943
passion!
429
00:14:57,977 --> 00:15:00,663
So, Mr. Haverford,
let's get to it.
430
00:15:00,697 --> 00:15:03,916
What idea
are you passionate about?
431
00:15:05,535 --> 00:15:08,987
I've got two words for you--
432
00:15:09,005 --> 00:15:10,423
"Tom's Bistro,"
433
00:15:10,457 --> 00:15:13,292
an old-fashioned,
old-world Italian restaurant.
434
00:15:13,326 --> 00:15:16,262
Classy, authentic ambience
in a small-town setting.
435
00:15:16,296 --> 00:15:17,663
Why does that say
436
00:15:17,681 --> 00:15:20,349
"dry cleaning chemical
transactional holding company?"
437
00:15:20,383 --> 00:15:23,385
Ben! You brought
the wrong easel. God!
438
00:15:23,437 --> 00:15:26,138
Can't take this guy anywhere.
Let me paint you a picture.
439
00:15:26,172 --> 00:15:27,940
Oh, Mr. Larson, I'm sorry.
440
00:15:27,974 --> 00:15:30,443
I had to reschedule.
It's been kind of a hectic week.
441
00:15:30,477 --> 00:15:31,977
- What happened to your face?
- It doesn't matter.
442
00:15:32,011 --> 00:15:34,814
I would like to apply
to turn some of our new land
443
00:15:34,848 --> 00:15:36,282
into a national park.
444
00:15:36,316 --> 00:15:37,900
I read your request,
Ms. Knope,
445
00:15:37,951 --> 00:15:40,402
and I'm sorry,
but we can't make that happen.
446
00:15:40,454 --> 00:15:41,854
Great.
447
00:15:41,872 --> 00:15:44,189
Well, this week just keeps
getting better and better.
448
00:15:44,207 --> 00:15:46,325
Thank you for coming by
and plunging a dagger
449
00:15:46,359 --> 00:15:48,377
into my already-bleeding
corpse.
450
00:15:48,411 --> 00:15:51,363
I came here
because I wanted to meet you.
451
00:15:51,381 --> 00:15:53,799
I've actually wanted to meet you
since before you called me.
452
00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:55,801
- Really? You know who I am?
- Yes.
453
00:15:55,836 --> 00:15:58,254
You're the person
who wrote this.
454
00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,422
You read my proposal
to clean up the Pawnee river?
455
00:16:00,474 --> 00:16:01,807
I wrote this two years ago.
456
00:16:01,842 --> 00:16:04,260
Got shuffled around
in interior for a year and half.
457
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,429
Liam Bonneville actually used it
to humiliate staffers, but...
458
00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:09,849
[Laughing]
he's kind of a bad boy.
459
00:16:09,883 --> 00:16:11,267
Liam B--
[Laughs]
460
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,519
- You don't have to tell me!
- This report is legendary.
461
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,237
It's easily
the most thoroughly research
462
00:16:15,272 --> 00:16:17,823
and passionate grant request
I've ever seen.
463
00:16:19,075 --> 00:16:21,327
Wow, you have no idea
how meaningful it is
464
00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:22,661
to hear you say that.
465
00:16:22,696 --> 00:16:24,029
But you're a little late.
466
00:16:24,063 --> 00:16:25,581
The river cleanup's
well underway.
467
00:16:25,615 --> 00:16:27,750
This is bigger
than the river cleanup.
468
00:16:27,784 --> 00:16:29,451
We're opening a new office
in Chicago.
469
00:16:29,503 --> 00:16:30,920
I spent the last few weeks
470
00:16:30,954 --> 00:16:32,338
reading about you
and your career
471
00:16:32,372 --> 00:16:34,123
and I think that you're
the perfect person to run it.
472
00:16:34,174 --> 00:16:37,009
Leslie, would you like
to run a branch
473
00:16:37,043 --> 00:16:39,077
of the National Park Service?
474
00:16:40,814 --> 00:16:43,098
Tom's Bistro will have
all the classic elements,
475
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:44,466
but with modern twists--
476
00:16:44,518 --> 00:16:47,219
an oak bar, live music,
477
00:16:47,253 --> 00:16:49,672
and Sunday brunch
with scrambled eggs so fluffy
478
00:16:49,706 --> 00:16:51,690
they'll be like little pillows
for your bacon.
479
00:16:51,725 --> 00:16:54,310
Bacon pillows.
I like the sound of that.
480
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:55,694
But I have to say,
481
00:16:55,729 --> 00:16:57,146
restaurants
are incredibly risky.
482
00:16:57,197 --> 00:17:00,599
Most of them
are dead on arrival.
483
00:17:00,617 --> 00:17:02,818
We're well-aware of that,
484
00:17:02,869 --> 00:17:05,120
but believe me,
Tom has thought this out.
485
00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:07,122
See, there's plenty
of real estate available
486
00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:09,491
in the old Eagleton
part of town.
487
00:17:09,543 --> 00:17:11,911
And with the recent closures,
there's massive demand
488
00:17:11,945 --> 00:17:15,548
for affordable dining
that feels high-end.
489
00:17:15,582 --> 00:17:17,967
Okay!
490
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:20,386
As long as you're running,
I'm in.
491
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:22,254
Amazing!
492
00:17:22,288 --> 00:17:23,505
Hey, kid...
493
00:17:23,557 --> 00:17:25,791
your boss here
sure knows his stuff.
494
00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:30,295
[Sander whirring]
495
00:17:30,313 --> 00:17:32,398
[Sander stops]
496
00:17:32,432 --> 00:17:34,433
Ron.
What are you doing here?
497
00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:36,569
The most important
government work I've ever done--
498
00:17:36,603 --> 00:17:39,137
sanding rat urine stains
out of this floor.
499
00:17:39,155 --> 00:17:40,573
What are you doing here?
500
00:17:40,607 --> 00:17:42,324
I come here to think sometimes.
501
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,109
By myself.
502
00:17:44,143 --> 00:17:46,445
- But now that you're here...
- Damn it.
503
00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:47,947
I am going to speak to you
very vaguely
504
00:17:47,981 --> 00:17:49,448
about a problem that I have,
505
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:52,034
and you cannot ask me any
questions or details about it.
506
00:17:52,085 --> 00:17:55,454
That is my ideal conversation,
aside from no conversation.
507
00:17:55,488 --> 00:17:56,922
But that feels unlikely.
508
00:17:56,957 --> 00:17:59,324
Look, you know how much
I love Pawnee.
509
00:17:59,342 --> 00:18:02,511
But the more I try to fix it
the more people fight me.
510
00:18:02,545 --> 00:18:04,513
They call me names,
they recall me,
511
00:18:04,547 --> 00:18:06,498
they try to kill the merger.
512
00:18:06,516 --> 00:18:08,884
They literally punch me
in the face.
513
00:18:08,935 --> 00:18:12,054
And yet every time
I contemplate leaving,
514
00:18:12,105 --> 00:18:15,975
just walking away
once and for all,
515
00:18:16,009 --> 00:18:18,477
I just can't do it.
516
00:18:18,511 --> 00:18:23,181
What is wrong with me?
517
00:18:23,199 --> 00:18:26,018
Yesterday, I fixed
that old steam radiator.
518
00:18:26,036 --> 00:18:28,320
Threaded a new valve
into the side,
519
00:18:28,354 --> 00:18:29,989
removed the handle
from the base,
520
00:18:30,023 --> 00:18:32,541
unscrewed the packing nut
from the stem.
521
00:18:32,575 --> 00:18:35,527
This subpar toolbox
only had one wrench,
522
00:18:35,545 --> 00:18:37,963
so I was lucky
it was a three-quarters
523
00:18:37,998 --> 00:18:39,248
or I'd have been screwed.
524
00:18:39,299 --> 00:18:40,966
[Laughs]
Yeah, man, you are lucky.
525
00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:42,217
Come on, Ron.
526
00:18:42,252 --> 00:18:43,419
What the hell?
I need your help.
527
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,220
By the time I was done,
528
00:18:45,255 --> 00:18:48,140
this 100-year-old piece
of American-made cast iron
529
00:18:48,174 --> 00:18:50,509
was singing like a bird.
530
00:18:50,543 --> 00:18:53,378
Now...to most people,
this story would seem boring.
531
00:18:53,396 --> 00:18:55,714
That's ridiculous.
It's a story about a radiator.
532
00:18:55,732 --> 00:18:58,550
But to me,
it was immensely satisfying
533
00:18:58,568 --> 00:19:01,987
because I enjoy
fixing radiators.
534
00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:05,357
You like fixing this town,
Leslie, you always have.
535
00:19:05,391 --> 00:19:08,610
You know it's an uphill battle,
but you love the struggle.
536
00:19:08,662 --> 00:19:11,080
I would also add
that you've already done
537
00:19:11,114 --> 00:19:12,948
a hell of a lot
to make this town better,
538
00:19:12,999 --> 00:19:15,784
and people
like this young man here
539
00:19:15,835 --> 00:19:17,736
will benefit
from your hard work.
540
00:19:17,754 --> 00:19:20,122
- He is a beautiful boy.
- He's quite a looker.
541
00:19:20,156 --> 00:19:22,291
Thank you, Ron.
542
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,577
[Baby talking]
543
00:19:25,595 --> 00:19:26,962
- What's that?
- Nothing.
544
00:19:27,013 --> 00:19:29,765
[Clears throat]
Clearing my throat.
545
00:19:32,789 --> 00:19:34,903
I've been thinking about your offer.
546
00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:37,842
And I have to say I can't think
of one single reason
547
00:19:37,867 --> 00:19:39,000
not to take it.
548
00:19:39,035 --> 00:19:40,401
That's great!
549
00:19:40,419 --> 00:19:41,837
I'll start drawing up
the paperwork.
550
00:19:41,871 --> 00:19:44,039
I'm sorry, I meant...
551
00:19:44,073 --> 00:19:45,957
because I can think
of a lot of reasons
552
00:19:46,008 --> 00:19:47,242
not to take it.
553
00:19:47,260 --> 00:19:50,411
Okay, wow, that's very
misleading phraseology.
554
00:19:50,429 --> 00:19:51,796
I'm sorry.
555
00:19:51,848 --> 00:19:53,715
It's an amazing offer
and I'm very interested,
556
00:19:53,749 --> 00:19:56,218
but if I'm going
to leave Pawnee...
557
00:19:56,252 --> 00:19:58,220
I need to know
it's gonna be okay without me.
558
00:19:58,254 --> 00:20:01,773
And I won't know until I finish
what I've started.
559
00:20:01,807 --> 00:20:03,225
When do you need your answer?
560
00:20:03,259 --> 00:20:05,143
Well, the gears
of federal government
561
00:20:05,194 --> 00:20:07,428
grind pretty slowly,
so you have a little time.
562
00:20:07,446 --> 00:20:10,866
But we can't wait forever.
I'll be in touch.
563
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,951
Great. Thank you.
564
00:20:12,985 --> 00:20:14,736
That's not your hand.
Here it is.
565
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:17,572
Sorry, my depth perception
is totally screwed up.
566
00:20:17,606 --> 00:20:19,908
Really happy that worked out
for you, Tom,
567
00:20:19,942 --> 00:20:22,377
but you kinda sold me out
back there.
568
00:20:22,411 --> 00:20:23,879
I know, and I'm sorry.
569
00:20:23,913 --> 00:20:26,665
But Mitch asked me
what I was passionate about,
570
00:20:26,716 --> 00:20:28,783
and honestly
I'm never gonna be passionate
571
00:20:28,801 --> 00:20:30,135
about dry cleaning chemicals.
572
00:20:30,169 --> 00:20:31,636
To each his own, I guess.
573
00:20:31,671 --> 00:20:33,138
I know opening a restaurant
is risky,
574
00:20:33,172 --> 00:20:34,556
but I can make this work.
575
00:20:34,590 --> 00:20:36,258
I know I can!
576
00:20:36,292 --> 00:20:38,927
Then count me in
as the second investor
577
00:20:38,961 --> 00:20:40,178
in Tom's Bistro.
578
00:20:40,229 --> 00:20:41,313
Thanks, man.
579
00:20:41,347 --> 00:20:43,798
I know this is
a symbolic gesture,
580
00:20:43,832 --> 00:20:45,800
but my investor floor
is $1,000.
581
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:47,335
So as of now,
you own zero shares.
582
00:20:47,353 --> 00:20:49,054
Cool!
Thanks for clearing that up.
583
00:20:49,105 --> 00:20:50,838
Now go do work,
or I will fire you.
584
00:20:50,856 --> 00:20:52,057
I'm not kidding.
585
00:20:52,108 --> 00:20:53,841
Yep!
586
00:20:53,859 --> 00:20:55,644
[Grunts]
[Laughing]
587
00:20:55,678 --> 00:20:57,312
Oh, look, John.
It's red pine.
588
00:20:57,346 --> 00:21:00,031
They were gonna put
flecked linoleum
589
00:21:00,066 --> 00:21:03,084
over this beautifully preserved
knotty red pine.
590
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:06,571
Most people in this world,
John, are ass[bleep].
591
00:21:06,622 --> 00:21:08,073
This is the best day
I've ever spent
592
00:21:08,124 --> 00:21:09,741
in a government building,
593
00:21:09,792 --> 00:21:11,993
and luckily my son
was here to share it with me.
594
00:21:12,028 --> 00:21:13,828
He now has that satisfied look
595
00:21:13,862 --> 00:21:17,031
that only comes
with the pride of labor.
596
00:21:17,049 --> 00:21:17,915
Or he pooped.
597
00:21:18,953 --> 00:21:21,819
Either way, well done, John.
598
00:21:22,719 --> 00:21:31,051
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com