1 00:00:01,162 --> 00:00:02,838 What do you mean, you can't? Look... 2 00:00:03,112 --> 00:00:05,592 I am throwing a farewell party for my best friend, Ann Perkins. 3 00:00:05,608 --> 00:00:07,688 And if she casually mentioned 3 years ago 4 00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,050 that she thought indoor fireworks would be cool 5 00:00:10,170 --> 00:00:12,158 then guess what, you're gonna give me indoor fireworks. 6 00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:15,364 Tonight's biggest surprise is 5 years in the making. 7 00:00:15,484 --> 00:00:17,864 It all goes back to when I first met my best friend. 8 00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:19,047 I'm here to talk about 9 00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:20,651 the abandoned lot on Sullivan Street. 10 00:00:20,702 --> 00:00:23,587 I've been trying to get this thing fixed for months, 11 00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:25,288 and it's government-owned 12 00:00:25,323 --> 00:00:26,573 and you need to do something about it. 13 00:00:26,607 --> 00:00:28,291 - I will help you. - Is that a promise? 14 00:00:28,326 --> 00:00:29,909 It's more than a promise. 15 00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:31,728 It's a pinky promise. 16 00:00:31,779 --> 00:00:34,197 That promise launched a friendship so grand 17 00:00:34,232 --> 00:00:36,600 it takes 103 scrapbooks to capture it. 18 00:00:36,634 --> 00:00:39,352 I have secretly arranged to officially break ground 19 00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,154 on Pawnee commons at midnight, 20 00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:44,825 fulfilling my pinky promise that I made five years ago. 21 00:00:44,859 --> 00:00:48,178 Oh, ice cream sandwich taste test! 22 00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:49,946 That was our biggest fight. 23 00:00:49,981 --> 00:00:51,598 - Hey, Knope. - Harold. 24 00:00:51,632 --> 00:00:53,834 You're breaking ground on the Pawnee commons tonight? 25 00:00:53,868 --> 00:00:55,936 Public works never signed off on that. 26 00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,571 Look, your office was giving me a hard time, 27 00:00:57,605 --> 00:00:59,456 so I had to call in a few favors. 28 00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:01,625 I don't like it when people go over my head. 29 00:01:01,676 --> 00:01:03,209 Understood. I will make a note of that. 30 00:01:03,227 --> 00:01:04,177 Would you like a treat? 31 00:01:04,212 --> 00:01:05,912 I run that department 32 00:01:05,947 --> 00:01:09,349 and I do not appreciate-- 33 00:01:09,384 --> 00:01:10,851 - Damn, that's really good. - Right? 34 00:01:10,885 --> 00:01:12,069 There's gonna be a lot of these at the party. 35 00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:13,170 - You should come by. - I kno-- 36 00:01:13,204 --> 00:01:14,621 I get it. I know what you're doing. 37 00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:16,807 And I still--is there a little crunch in there? 38 00:01:16,841 --> 00:01:17,941 - Hazelnut. - Ooh. 39 00:01:17,975 --> 00:01:18,942 Ooh, right? 40 00:01:18,976 --> 00:01:20,160 See you tonight. 41 00:01:20,194 --> 00:01:22,262 Okay, well, let's go set up this party. 42 00:01:22,296 --> 00:01:23,513 April, thank you. 43 00:01:23,548 --> 00:01:26,266 I know you may tease Ann, but deep down inside 44 00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:27,701 I can tell that you really care. 45 00:01:27,735 --> 00:01:32,806 Ann's leaving town and saying painful good-byes to loved ones. 46 00:01:32,824 --> 00:01:36,276 Greatest day of my life! 47 00:01:36,310 --> 00:01:39,196 [Triumphant music] 48 00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:49,135 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 49 00:01:57,698 --> 00:02:00,217 Thank you all so much for helping me with these boxes. 50 00:02:00,268 --> 00:02:03,103 I'm just a little behind because every time I start, I get-- 51 00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:05,705 [sobs] a little emotional. 52 00:02:05,739 --> 00:02:07,441 Hey, that box has my name on it. 53 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:08,992 Hey, this one has my name on it. 54 00:02:09,026 --> 00:02:11,244 This one has plates' name on it. 55 00:02:11,278 --> 00:02:13,463 You have just found your buddy boxes. 56 00:02:13,514 --> 00:02:16,316 Each box contains a memento of our friendship. 57 00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:17,617 I was gonna give them to you later, 58 00:02:17,651 --> 00:02:21,287 but there is no time like the present. 59 00:02:21,305 --> 00:02:23,356 Fun pun alert. 60 00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:25,375 A bronzed hamburger. 61 00:02:25,409 --> 00:02:27,677 It's from our turkey versus beef cook-off, remember? 62 00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,112 You were a worthy adversary. 63 00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:31,848 I would have preferred a regular hamburger for eating, 64 00:02:31,883 --> 00:02:33,750 but this is very nice. 65 00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:36,353 2008 Indiana state audit spreadsheets? 66 00:02:36,387 --> 00:02:39,739 Man, that year was insane! 67 00:02:39,773 --> 00:02:41,653 That was the year you went from being an auditor 68 00:02:41,676 --> 00:02:42,642 to a legend. 69 00:02:42,677 --> 00:02:44,311 Whoa! 70 00:02:44,345 --> 00:02:46,713 A picture of me officiating Leslie and Ben's wedding. 71 00:02:46,747 --> 00:02:49,249 And look, you can just about see my head. 72 00:02:49,267 --> 00:02:50,550 Thank you so much. 73 00:02:50,568 --> 00:02:52,319 Snakejuice! 74 00:02:52,353 --> 00:02:54,037 I thought these were destroyed by the FDA. 75 00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:56,289 I did have to go to a very seedy location to find it, 76 00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:59,493 but now I know where to go to place a bet on horse fighting. 77 00:03:01,846 --> 00:03:04,598 Okay, don't mention anything about the groundbreaking to Ann. 78 00:03:04,632 --> 00:03:05,782 Repeat that back to me. 79 00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,083 Tell Ann about the groundbreaking, 80 00:03:07,118 --> 00:03:08,285 frame Ann for murder, 81 00:03:08,336 --> 00:03:09,836 release a deadly virus into the water supply. 82 00:03:09,854 --> 00:03:11,054 Good. [Gasps] Oh! 83 00:03:11,105 --> 00:03:13,824 Bon voyage, Ann. 84 00:03:13,858 --> 00:03:15,458 My God, this is amazing. 85 00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:16,626 That's sparkling cider. 86 00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:18,518 Why is there a New Year's Eve countdown clock 87 00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,696 and the Easter bunny? 88 00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:20,814 I don't know when we're gonna be able 89 00:03:20,848 --> 00:03:22,649 to visit each other, so just to be safe 90 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:25,185 this party is a celebration of every event 91 00:03:25,219 --> 00:03:26,686 that's gonna happen this year. 92 00:03:26,721 --> 00:03:29,756 Your birthday, New Year's, Chinese New Year's, flag day. 93 00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:31,591 Ain't no party like a Leslie Knope party 94 00:03:31,609 --> 00:03:34,110 'cause a Leslie Knope party is actually 30 parties. 95 00:03:34,145 --> 00:03:36,163 Knope, you have out-knoped yourself. 96 00:03:36,197 --> 00:03:37,363 [Mocking laugh] 97 00:03:37,381 --> 00:03:38,882 Seems like the party's dying down. Weird. 98 00:03:38,916 --> 00:03:41,301 Ann, you probably wanna head to Michigan forever, 99 00:03:41,319 --> 00:03:44,004 so I snuck into your house and packed a bag for you. Bye. 100 00:03:44,038 --> 00:03:46,389 This is just a bunch of bras and knives. 101 00:03:46,424 --> 00:03:48,141 And loose onions. 102 00:03:48,175 --> 00:03:49,359 Okay, party! 103 00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:50,810 Don't drink! Have fun! 104 00:03:50,828 --> 00:03:54,764 Hey, so we have a little farewell gift for you. 105 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,284 We all pitched in and got you a gift card 106 00:03:57,318 --> 00:03:59,886 from that home store, "Pots and Pans." 107 00:03:59,921 --> 00:04:02,439 We have been on the prowl for some amazing pots. 108 00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:05,325 Well, that card's for three pans. 109 00:04:05,359 --> 00:04:07,660 Either way, this is great. 110 00:04:07,678 --> 00:04:09,012 You know what? 111 00:04:09,046 --> 00:04:10,446 We should get to the good-bye party, 112 00:04:10,448 --> 00:04:11,764 although I know it's mostly for Ann. 113 00:04:11,782 --> 00:04:14,000 Yeah, but there's, like, one corner for you 114 00:04:14,035 --> 00:04:15,685 and it's just carob cookies and berries. 115 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,220 Carob cookies and berries 116 00:04:17,271 --> 00:04:19,772 are literally my favorite dessert alternative. 117 00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:22,292 I'll go get changed. 118 00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:24,928 Man, he put a lot of work into our presents. 119 00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:27,063 I feel kinda bad just getting him a gift card. 120 00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:29,282 I also shook his hand. Twice. 121 00:04:29,317 --> 00:04:31,051 Anything more than that would be excessive. 122 00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:32,986 Let's all put our heads together and brainstorm. 123 00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:34,738 We gotta send this dude off with the perfect gift. 124 00:04:34,772 --> 00:04:36,656 I say we start with the three "C’s," 125 00:04:36,707 --> 00:04:39,025 cashmere, concert tickets, caboodles of cash. 126 00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:41,394 I feel like those are perfect gifts for you. 127 00:04:41,445 --> 00:04:42,996 Those are perfect gifts for anyone. 128 00:04:43,030 --> 00:04:46,582 Ugh, I wish you guys were Donna! 129 00:04:46,601 --> 00:04:49,402 I'm 100% sure that I will not meet 130 00:04:49,453 --> 00:04:51,187 another Donna Meagle in Michigan. 131 00:04:51,205 --> 00:04:52,522 I'm gonna miss you. 132 00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:54,124 You know, I'm gonna miss you too, Perkins. 133 00:04:54,158 --> 00:04:55,892 But now that you're officially out of the dating pool, 134 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:58,028 you know I'm gonna run this town, right? 135 00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,446 Ooh. 136 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,549 Oh, yeah, you do not wanna go down that road. 137 00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:03,600 Trust me, I tried. 138 00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,151 Hi, Stephen. 139 00:05:05,186 --> 00:05:06,152 Hey, Ann. 140 00:05:06,203 --> 00:05:09,422 - Super cute baby bump. - Thanks. 141 00:05:09,457 --> 00:05:11,541 Good looking out. 142 00:05:11,559 --> 00:05:14,361 Hey, Ron, have you seen April? 143 00:05:14,395 --> 00:05:16,479 I've been mostly focused on these ribs. 144 00:05:16,497 --> 00:05:20,216 By the way, you're out of Easter ham and Thanksgiving turkey. 145 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,351 Great party. 146 00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:23,186 [Phone rings] 147 00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:24,170 Hey. 148 00:05:24,205 --> 00:05:25,155 Are you on the lot? 149 00:05:25,189 --> 00:05:26,156 Is everything okay? 150 00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:27,607 Uh, not really. 151 00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:30,159 Public works put up a giant padlock on the fence 152 00:05:30,177 --> 00:05:32,979 and a sign that says "No trespassing." 153 00:05:33,014 --> 00:05:34,430 That probably doesn't apply to us. 154 00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:37,183 There's also a sign that says "Especially Leslie Knope." 155 00:05:37,218 --> 00:05:39,336 Well, Leslie Knope is a very common name. 156 00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,638 There's a professor in Copenhagen named Leslie Knope. 157 00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:43,423 They probably mean him. 158 00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:44,555 Do they mean the professor? 159 00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:47,560 Yeah, there's a picture of you also. 160 00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:50,063 And two huge security guards. 161 00:05:50,097 --> 00:05:51,881 Holy mother of Malia! 162 00:05:51,899 --> 00:05:53,183 And Sasha. 163 00:05:53,217 --> 00:05:54,601 I love them both equally. 164 00:05:54,652 --> 00:05:56,319 Okay, it's that stupid Harold who's behind this. 165 00:05:56,354 --> 00:05:59,906 Get here and we will make a plan. 166 00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,891 How long do I have to do this? 167 00:06:01,909 --> 00:06:03,526 Until I say so, Orin! 168 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,640 Stay in character. 169 00:06:10,356 --> 00:06:12,626 Leslie can't watch anything with Julie Andrews in it 170 00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,216 before bedtime because it gets her too hyper. 171 00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:15,167 Okay. 172 00:06:15,218 --> 00:06:17,086 If Chris gets cranky around noon, 173 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,871 just stuff some chia seeds into a fig-- 174 00:06:18,905 --> 00:06:20,056 works every time. 175 00:06:20,389 --> 00:06:21,889 Awesome, thank you. 176 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:24,525 Wow, we really picked some intense people 177 00:06:24,543 --> 00:06:26,594 - to spend our lives with, huh? - Yeah. 178 00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:28,095 Where's Leslie? I haven't seen her in a while. 179 00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:29,447 Oh, she's just running around 180 00:06:29,498 --> 00:06:31,683 trying to pull off an elaborate, thoughtful surprise for you. 181 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,267 - Of course. - Where's Chris? 182 00:06:33,285 --> 00:06:35,620 I told him that One Headlight By the Wallflowers 183 00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:40,041 isn't "dancing" music and he said "Not with that attitude." 184 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,394 Of course. 185 00:06:43,429 --> 00:06:47,031 Dude, Ann, you know what I just remembered? 186 00:06:47,082 --> 00:06:48,583 We used to date. [Chuckles] 187 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,852 Yeah, we lived together for two years. 188 00:06:50,886 --> 00:06:52,620 I know, it's crazy, right? 189 00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:54,172 Anyways, you're the best. 190 00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:57,692 Have fun in Mexico. 191 00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:59,177 Harold, it is Leslie Knope again. 192 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,311 I know you are screening my calls, 193 00:07:00,346 --> 00:07:01,546 but if you could call me bac-- [Sighs] 194 00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:02,947 And his voicemail is full. 195 00:07:02,982 --> 00:07:04,282 Did you have any luck? 196 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,533 Flipped through the bylaws. 197 00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:06,534 I don't think there's anything I can do. 198 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,036 What is the point of being married 199 00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:10,588 to a city manager if he can't wield unfettered power 200 00:07:10,623 --> 00:07:11,806 to crush my enemies? 201 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:12,857 Hopefully there are a few other reasons. 202 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,626 - Yeah. - Looks like we hit a wall. 203 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,628 Oh, God. [Sobs] 204 00:07:16,679 --> 00:07:18,279 April? Are you okay? 205 00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:19,230 What's happening? 206 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:20,415 I'm just so scared 207 00:07:20,449 --> 00:07:23,935 that this means that Ann won't really leave. 208 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,487 Life, huh? 209 00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,773 It's quite a ride. 210 00:07:28,807 --> 00:07:31,676 Yes, Tom, it is. 211 00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:33,828 I got you a going-away present. 212 00:07:33,846 --> 00:07:35,446 I'm deleting you from my phone. 213 00:07:35,481 --> 00:07:37,832 You're finally free of my animal magnetism. 214 00:07:37,866 --> 00:07:40,234 Maybe one day years from now when we're both old 215 00:07:40,269 --> 00:07:43,638 and Chris is dead, you'll run into me somewhere. 216 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,157 I'll be opening my latest mega club. 217 00:07:46,191 --> 00:07:47,911 I'll see you there on the street by yourself 218 00:07:47,943 --> 00:07:50,862 and I'll tell the bouncer/my bodyguard, 219 00:07:50,896 --> 00:07:54,332 "Hey, that woman's way too old to get into this club, 220 00:07:54,383 --> 00:07:56,734 but why don't you let her in the back?" 221 00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:58,686 That's very generous. 222 00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,987 Stay golden, sweetheart. 223 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,455 I'm gonna miss you too, Tom. 224 00:08:01,473 --> 00:08:02,940 Shh. 225 00:08:02,975 --> 00:08:05,360 And you're kind and you're thoughtful 226 00:08:05,394 --> 00:08:07,211 and you're always such a delight to have around. 227 00:08:07,246 --> 00:08:10,648 I am sure you are going to be an incredible mother. 228 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,533 Thanks, Larry. That's nice. 229 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,218 Good-bye, Ann. 230 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:17,622 I have enjoyed parts of our time together. 231 00:08:17,656 --> 00:08:21,559 [Sobs] Oh, God, Ron. 232 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,881 [Sobs] That was really something. 233 00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:28,816 Okay, what do we have for Chris? 234 00:08:28,851 --> 00:08:31,452 I got this City of Pawnee mug. 235 00:08:31,486 --> 00:08:33,137 Also, this cool jacket. 236 00:08:33,188 --> 00:08:35,106 No, I think that's Chris's jacket. 237 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,324 Okay, good, then we know he likes it. 238 00:08:36,358 --> 00:08:37,792 Catch up, Larry. 239 00:08:37,826 --> 00:08:39,761 Okay, I found some old receipts 240 00:08:39,795 --> 00:08:41,429 from lunches we had together. 241 00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:42,397 Is that anything? 242 00:08:42,431 --> 00:08:43,831 This is my contribution. 243 00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:45,199 It says "Ron." 244 00:08:45,217 --> 00:08:46,517 Hey, guys, what's going on? 245 00:08:46,552 --> 00:08:49,103 Oh, we're just giving you a bunch of cool gifts. 246 00:08:49,121 --> 00:08:50,071 No, God--oh...God. 247 00:08:50,105 --> 00:08:52,090 Get your hopes up, Chris. 248 00:08:52,124 --> 00:08:53,224 Let's see what's in here. 249 00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:55,526 Some assorted items. 250 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,012 And...some pieces of paper. 251 00:08:58,046 --> 00:08:59,764 Boom, nailed it. All right. 252 00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:03,651 Now we can start enjoying this party. 253 00:09:03,685 --> 00:09:06,721 Leslie, this is the most incredible event 254 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,139 that has ever been thrown. 255 00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:10,608 There is a pilgrim line dancing with a box of candies. 256 00:09:10,659 --> 00:09:13,094 Why do you look so bummed out? 257 00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:15,379 We were planning a surprise groundbreaking 258 00:09:15,414 --> 00:09:16,614 at Pawnee commons for you. 259 00:09:16,648 --> 00:09:18,232 You know, an actual beginning 260 00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:19,751 to the project that brought us together. 261 00:09:19,785 --> 00:09:22,303 But now we can't do it because Harold is such a jerk face. 262 00:09:22,337 --> 00:09:23,971 He put a barbed wire fence around the lot 263 00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:25,656 and now it's not happening. 264 00:09:25,707 --> 00:09:26,991 I'm sorry, Ann. 265 00:09:27,042 --> 00:09:29,443 First of all, don't apologize. 266 00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:31,546 And second of all, screw Harold. 267 00:09:31,580 --> 00:09:33,714 If I learned one thing from Leslie Knope 268 00:09:33,749 --> 00:09:35,716 it is we do not take "No" for an answer. 269 00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,952 Anything is possible if we work hard enough. 270 00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:39,220 - Let's do it. - Oh, my God! 271 00:09:39,254 --> 00:09:40,788 Ann Perkins to the rescue. 272 00:09:40,806 --> 00:09:42,140 Okay, hands in, everybody. 273 00:09:42,174 --> 00:09:43,307 One, two, three. 274 00:09:43,342 --> 00:09:44,308 - Groundbreaking! - Let's go! 275 00:09:44,343 --> 00:09:45,676 Dark forces, arise! 276 00:09:45,727 --> 00:09:47,127 Okay, I didn't plan what we were all gonna say. 277 00:09:47,146 --> 00:09:48,747 That's my bad. Here we go, Ann. Let's go. 278 00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:54,719 Okay, now to ring the bell. 279 00:09:54,959 --> 00:09:56,292 Bust in unannounced. 280 00:09:56,327 --> 00:10:00,046 Love it! 281 00:10:00,081 --> 00:10:01,131 Harold. 282 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,132 What the hell, Knope? 283 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,216 We need the key to the fence 284 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:04,634 that you put up on the Sullivan Street lot. 285 00:10:04,668 --> 00:10:06,352 You snuck around behind my back. 286 00:10:06,387 --> 00:10:08,488 I told you I didn't like that. Forget it. 287 00:10:08,522 --> 00:10:10,073 Come on, Harold, look. 288 00:10:10,107 --> 00:10:12,158 This is a great opportunity you have right now. 289 00:10:12,193 --> 00:10:14,260 Just think of us as your genies 290 00:10:14,295 --> 00:10:15,962 who can give you anything you want. 291 00:10:15,996 --> 00:10:17,280 Nothing gross. 292 00:10:17,298 --> 00:10:20,817 Okay, yeah, there is something I want. 293 00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:22,318 Super fizzy fruity pop. 294 00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,636 Sorry? 295 00:10:23,671 --> 00:10:26,556 Sweetums used to stock our office with free sodas 296 00:10:26,607 --> 00:10:28,808 as a promotional thing, but that Kathryn Pinewood lady 297 00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:30,326 just took 'em away. 298 00:10:30,377 --> 00:10:33,513 If you can get us our free sodas back, I'll get you a key. 299 00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:35,681 - Deal. - Easy. 300 00:10:35,699 --> 00:10:37,083 It is not easy. 301 00:10:37,118 --> 00:10:39,252 Kathryn Pinewood is the person on earth who hates me the most. 302 00:10:39,286 --> 00:10:40,487 Well, luckily, you're with the person on earth 303 00:10:40,521 --> 00:10:41,521 who loves you the most. 304 00:10:41,555 --> 00:10:42,906 - Too cheesy? - No, it's perfect. 305 00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:43,878 I love you. Don't leave. 306 00:10:43,924 --> 00:10:45,291 Come on. 307 00:10:45,325 --> 00:10:47,393 Donna, you are a remarkable woman, 308 00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:48,695 and I just wanted to say 309 00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:50,213 that I've always thought of you as family. 310 00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,515 I just wanna say that I've always thought you were hot. 311 00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:53,767 Yes, I know. 312 00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:54,784 April-- 313 00:10:54,819 --> 00:10:56,786 Yeah, you saw a lot of potential in me, 314 00:10:56,837 --> 00:10:59,338 I'm like a daughter to you, and it was a treat 315 00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:00,857 to watch me blossom. 316 00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,625 Blah blah blah, bye. 317 00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:06,012 That is remarkably close to what I was going to say. 318 00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:09,916 Also, I'm proud of you. 319 00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:14,354 Donna, are you grabbing my butt? 320 00:11:14,388 --> 00:11:15,305 Can you blame me? 321 00:11:15,339 --> 00:11:17,557 [Chuckles] No! 322 00:11:17,575 --> 00:11:19,058 Sorry, can't help you ladies. 323 00:11:19,076 --> 00:11:21,211 I don't have time for disgraced former politicians 324 00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:22,312 and unmarried preggos. 325 00:11:22,346 --> 00:11:24,463 Oh, Kathryn, always a delight. 326 00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:25,748 Listen, I know that you and Leslie 327 00:11:25,783 --> 00:11:27,417 have had your disagreements in the past, 328 00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:30,303 but we really need the key, and we can only get the key 329 00:11:30,337 --> 00:11:31,621 if we get the sodas. Please? 330 00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:33,173 I don't see why I should do you any favors. 331 00:11:33,207 --> 00:11:36,559 I mean, if you were still a city councilor, maybe. 332 00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:38,778 But I seem to remember you were recalled. 333 00:11:38,796 --> 00:11:39,746 Is that right? 334 00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,381 - How dare yo-- - Okay, Leslie. 335 00:11:41,415 --> 00:11:43,700 Please. It's not worth it. 336 00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:44,667 For you. 337 00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:46,252 For me, I don't care. 338 00:11:46,286 --> 00:11:47,887 [Gasps] What the hell? 339 00:11:47,922 --> 00:11:49,138 Yeah, Pinewood, that's right. 340 00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,057 I'm pregnant and I have you in a headlock. 341 00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:53,009 And if you try to fight back, I will sue you. 342 00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:55,461 Unless you tell us how to get those sodas right now. 343 00:11:55,479 --> 00:11:57,480 Okay, fine. 344 00:11:57,531 --> 00:11:59,282 Sweetums has been desperately trying 345 00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:01,134 to get a local celebrity spokesman 346 00:12:01,168 --> 00:12:02,302 to endorse their new sports drink. 347 00:12:02,336 --> 00:12:03,903 So if you can make that happen somehow, 348 00:12:03,937 --> 00:12:06,673 they'll give you whatever you want. 349 00:12:06,707 --> 00:12:08,608 Damn, Perkins. 350 00:12:08,642 --> 00:12:11,661 Okay, who does Sweetums want as their spokesperson? 351 00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:14,347 They already tried to get me to endorse that sports drink. 352 00:12:14,381 --> 00:12:15,348 I said "No." 353 00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:16,916 They want me dunking on the label. 354 00:12:16,951 --> 00:12:18,301 When is this town gonna realize 355 00:12:18,335 --> 00:12:20,486 that I'm more than a former high school basketball star? 356 00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:23,923 I don't think this new sports drink is even about basketball. 357 00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:25,758 It's called "Sweetums dunktastic 358 00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:27,894 three-point B-ball blast" 359 00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:30,079 the slogan is "It's all about basketball." 360 00:12:30,114 --> 00:12:32,482 I'm sorry, you're gonna have to find yourself 361 00:12:32,516 --> 00:12:35,618 some other famous pawneean. 362 00:12:35,653 --> 00:12:37,136 [Both gasp] 363 00:12:37,171 --> 00:12:39,472 We know that you were already approached by Sweetums 364 00:12:39,506 --> 00:12:41,824 and you said "No," but is there any way you would reconsider? 365 00:12:41,859 --> 00:12:42,959 I'm sorry, Miss Knope. 366 00:12:42,993 --> 00:12:45,328 There is such a thing as journalistic integrity, 367 00:12:45,362 --> 00:12:49,532 and it is something that I have as a journalist with integrity. 368 00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:51,334 It's really important, Perd. 369 00:12:51,385 --> 00:12:53,436 Please? Come on. 370 00:12:53,487 --> 00:12:54,654 For old time's sake. 371 00:12:54,688 --> 00:12:56,122 Well, the story of that appeal 372 00:12:56,156 --> 00:12:57,707 is it was heartfelt. 373 00:12:57,758 --> 00:13:02,161 And in response to that appeal, I respond: Okay. 374 00:13:03,831 --> 00:13:05,582 For old time's sake? 375 00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:08,101 Does that mea--no! 376 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,770 - Ann, you tricky minx. - Yep. 377 00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:12,872 - I went on a date with Perd. - What? 378 00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:14,474 It was during that "explore my freedom 379 00:13:14,508 --> 00:13:15,675 as a single woman" phase. 380 00:13:15,693 --> 00:13:18,044 - Wow. - We just had a drink. 381 00:13:18,078 --> 00:13:20,880 And at the end he said, "I am going to kiss you now 382 00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:22,732 by putting my mouth on your mouth." 383 00:13:22,783 --> 00:13:23,866 And then I ran away. 384 00:13:23,901 --> 00:13:25,668 It was absolutely the right call. 385 00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:27,420 Well, we could just tell him the truth 386 00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:29,722 that we feel bad that we didn't get him anything nice. 387 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,240 [Chuckles] Tell the truth? 388 00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:32,659 That's hilarious. No. 389 00:13:32,693 --> 00:13:34,293 We tell him we had the perfect gift, 390 00:13:34,311 --> 00:13:35,895 but we were robbed at gunpoint. 391 00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:37,563 "Chris, he had a gun. 392 00:13:37,597 --> 00:13:39,065 He took all the gifts." 393 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,250 Now Chris feels bad, he's buying us gifts. 394 00:13:41,302 --> 00:13:43,386 Next thing you know, Tommy's got a new watch. 395 00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:44,971 Again, I don't see the problem. 396 00:13:44,989 --> 00:13:47,957 I shook the man's hand. Twice. 397 00:13:48,008 --> 00:13:51,694 Guys, look what I got at the president's day booth. 398 00:13:51,745 --> 00:13:55,632 Ask not what your country can do for you. 399 00:13:55,683 --> 00:13:57,016 [Laughs] 400 00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:58,651 From Family Guy, right? 401 00:13:58,686 --> 00:14:00,820 Listen, Chris, we have to tell you something. 402 00:14:00,838 --> 00:14:04,256 We feel bad because you got us such thoughtful gifts 403 00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:08,461 and we got you three pans and a bag of nothing. 404 00:14:08,495 --> 00:14:11,097 Guys, I don't need anything from you. 405 00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:13,099 My buddy boxes are about the past, 406 00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:15,518 but let's focus on the future. 407 00:14:15,552 --> 00:14:17,637 Because we're always gonna be friends. 408 00:14:17,671 --> 00:14:21,124 And just the fact that you feel bad about your bag of nothing 409 00:14:21,158 --> 00:14:22,091 proves that. 410 00:14:22,142 --> 00:14:23,393 To the future. 411 00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,394 - Hear, hear. - To the future. 412 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,778 - To the future. - Cheers. 413 00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:28,331 - I have an idea. - Future. 414 00:14:30,684 --> 00:14:32,235 Don't you ladies ever knock? 415 00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:34,120 No. Okay, so we got Perd Hapley 416 00:14:34,154 --> 00:14:35,254 to sign on with Sweetums, 417 00:14:35,289 --> 00:14:36,806 which means that you get your sodas back, 418 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,141 which means that we get our key. 419 00:14:38,175 --> 00:14:39,292 Okay? Everything's here in writing. 420 00:14:39,326 --> 00:14:40,743 Now call off your guards. 421 00:14:42,663 --> 00:14:44,330 Okay. Fine. 422 00:14:44,348 --> 00:14:46,432 You two are a couple of real pains in the ass. 423 00:14:46,467 --> 00:14:47,734 You know that? 424 00:14:47,768 --> 00:14:49,736 Harold, your tiny brain could not understand this, 425 00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:51,237 but that is the best compliment 426 00:14:51,255 --> 00:14:53,723 you could ever give the two women standing in front of you. 427 00:14:53,757 --> 00:14:55,058 Bye, Harold. 428 00:14:55,109 --> 00:14:58,077 Victory at last. Whoo! 429 00:14:58,112 --> 00:15:00,013 - All right. - You're all set. 430 00:15:00,047 --> 00:15:01,247 Okay, I am gonna call 431 00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:03,716 the official ceremonial ribbon cutting guy, 432 00:15:03,734 --> 00:15:04,984 'cause I think we may have missed him. 433 00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:06,836 [Hisses] 434 00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:07,804 What are you doing? 435 00:15:07,838 --> 00:15:08,855 It's for the raccoons. 436 00:15:08,889 --> 00:15:10,139 You have to hiss really loud 437 00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:11,457 and stomp your feet so they'll leave you alone. 438 00:15:11,492 --> 00:15:13,359 And if one comes close, make yourself really large 439 00:15:13,377 --> 00:15:15,378 like a puffer fish. [Hisses] 440 00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:16,512 Pawnee raccoons. 441 00:15:16,547 --> 00:15:18,831 That is one thing I will not miss. 442 00:15:18,866 --> 00:15:20,433 Well, Michigan has wolverines. 443 00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:22,618 Maybe they'll eat your toes. 444 00:15:22,653 --> 00:15:25,805 So how long do you think you'll stay in Pawnee for? 445 00:15:25,839 --> 00:15:26,806 I don't know. 446 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,974 We like it here. 447 00:15:28,992 --> 00:15:31,744 I made Andy promise that someday we'll move to Transylvania, 448 00:15:31,778 --> 00:15:33,946 but that probably won't happen till we're, like, 100. 449 00:15:33,964 --> 00:15:36,349 Well, for what it's worth, 450 00:15:36,383 --> 00:15:39,018 I'm really happy that you and Andy are married. 451 00:15:39,052 --> 00:15:39,985 Why? 452 00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:43,172 Why? Because I love him 453 00:15:43,207 --> 00:15:45,091 and I love you. 454 00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:47,610 Why wouldn't I be happy? 455 00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:48,945 [Mumbles] I love you too. 456 00:15:48,979 --> 00:15:50,446 What's that? 457 00:15:50,497 --> 00:15:52,632 [Mumbles] I love you too. 458 00:15:52,666 --> 00:15:54,700 I-I couldn't--I couldn't quite hear you. 459 00:15:54,718 --> 00:15:56,886 Please don't make me say it. Please. 460 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,872 My going-away present to you 461 00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:03,843 will be that I do not make you audibly say that you love me. 462 00:16:03,877 --> 00:16:06,879 Thank you. 463 00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:11,684 - What's happening here? - Okay, Leslie's coming back. 464 00:16:11,718 --> 00:16:13,598 - Get off me, wench! - Did I miss a nice moment? 465 00:16:13,604 --> 00:16:14,604 - No. - Yes, you did. 466 00:16:14,655 --> 00:16:16,322 Oh, good. 467 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,057 Guys, what are you doing here? 468 00:16:21,177 --> 00:16:21,865 Come in. 469 00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:24,121 You caught me before my first run of the day. 470 00:16:24,364 --> 00:16:26,081 I call it my "beat the sun" run. 471 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,996 It's a race between me and the sun. 472 00:16:28,116 --> 00:16:30,886 Well, we got one more gift for you. 473 00:16:30,888 --> 00:16:34,256 It's quarter-sawn zebra wood adjoined by floating tenons 474 00:16:34,258 --> 00:16:36,374 to the black walnut corner posts. 475 00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:38,110 Finished with a wiping varnish 476 00:16:38,112 --> 00:16:40,295 that's a secret Swanson family recipe. 477 00:16:40,297 --> 00:16:44,066 Handmade at my woodshop, and you are correct. 478 00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:45,650 It is gorgeous. 479 00:16:45,652 --> 00:16:48,186 You're starting a new life with your new family, 480 00:16:48,188 --> 00:16:50,072 so it's an empty buddy box 481 00:16:50,074 --> 00:16:52,407 to fill with memories for your little buddy. 482 00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:54,409 Or...twizzlers. 483 00:16:54,411 --> 00:16:56,394 That's the beautiful thing about a box. 484 00:16:56,396 --> 00:17:00,115 We all burned our initials in, see? 485 00:17:00,117 --> 00:17:04,002 Wait a minute, who's G-J-L-G-G? 486 00:17:04,004 --> 00:17:05,921 That's Garry Jerry Larry Gergich Gengurch. 487 00:17:05,923 --> 00:17:08,123 I burned in all my names. 488 00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:09,341 I really--I didn't know what to do. 489 00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:11,793 Well, um... [Tears up] 490 00:17:11,795 --> 00:17:13,962 Thank you. 491 00:17:13,964 --> 00:17:17,415 Um, this tear, um, 492 00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:21,920 caused by the overwhelming thoughtfulness of my friends 493 00:17:21,922 --> 00:17:24,773 will be my baby's first memory. 494 00:17:24,775 --> 00:17:27,609 Salt water will warp the wood. 495 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:31,863 So keep your tears in your eyes where they belong. 496 00:17:31,865 --> 00:17:33,365 Will do, Ron Swanson. 497 00:17:33,367 --> 00:17:35,851 Can I still call you 498 00:17:35,853 --> 00:17:38,036 when I have thoughts on Jennifer Aniston's future? 499 00:17:38,038 --> 00:17:39,604 Not if I call you first. 500 00:17:39,606 --> 00:17:40,622 And can we still be on the phone 501 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,657 for every state of the Union address 502 00:17:42,659 --> 00:17:45,077 and every Oscar red carpet coverage 503 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:47,629 and every single viewing of Tootsie? 504 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:48,880 Of course. 505 00:17:48,882 --> 00:17:51,500 Oh, Ann Perkins. 506 00:17:51,502 --> 00:17:54,219 You perfect sunflower. 507 00:17:54,221 --> 00:17:56,721 You totally changed me, you know? 508 00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:59,141 You taught me how to balance my life, 509 00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:02,427 - how to be patient. - Mm... 510 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,179 - How to be more patient. - Yeah, that's better. 511 00:18:04,181 --> 00:18:06,631 How to throw bureaucratic caution to the wind 512 00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:08,316 when it came to Ben. 513 00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:11,103 But most importantly, you taught me 514 00:18:11,105 --> 00:18:13,405 that I can't pull off a tulip skirt. 515 00:18:13,407 --> 00:18:15,440 It's just not your shape. 516 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:19,277 [Laughter] 517 00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:22,697 Well, I don't think this ceremonial ribbon cutting guy 518 00:18:22,699 --> 00:18:23,698 is gonna make it. 519 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,700 Either he flaked or he tripped 520 00:18:25,702 --> 00:18:28,253 and impaled himself on his own giant scissors. 521 00:18:28,255 --> 00:18:30,005 We wait for no man. 522 00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:31,339 Let's do this. 523 00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,092 Both: One, two, three! 524 00:18:34,094 --> 00:18:36,211 [Squeals] 525 00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:39,214 [Both cheer] 526 00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,849 All right, I got my park. 527 00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:41,967 That's all I wanted from you. 528 00:18:41,969 --> 00:18:42,968 Friendship over. 529 00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:44,970 [Laughter] 530 00:18:44,972 --> 00:18:46,771 Don't even joke about that, Ann. 531 00:18:50,226 --> 00:18:52,561 It was your idea to get me that box. 532 00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:54,646 Ah, it was a group effort. 533 00:18:54,648 --> 00:18:56,314 But it had that trademark 534 00:18:56,316 --> 00:18:59,818 Ben Wyatt mix of thoughtful and resourceful. 535 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:04,355 You are literally the best friend that I will ever have. 536 00:19:05,908 --> 00:19:09,461 You too, man. 537 00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:15,050 Leslie Knope. 538 00:19:15,052 --> 00:19:16,551 Chris Traeger. 539 00:19:16,553 --> 00:19:18,587 I just wanna say that getting to know you 540 00:19:18,589 --> 00:19:20,639 and watching you work 541 00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:23,875 has been one of the greatest experiences 542 00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:26,928 of my life--that and working with Dr. Richard Nygard. 543 00:19:26,930 --> 00:19:29,431 Sure, and I just want you to know 544 00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:31,900 that I thought there was no man on earth 545 00:19:31,902 --> 00:19:34,352 good enough for Ann Perkins. 546 00:19:34,354 --> 00:19:36,188 - And I still think that. - Right. 547 00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:39,390 But if there is no one actually good enough for her, 548 00:19:39,392 --> 00:19:43,411 you are pretty damn close. 549 00:19:45,665 --> 00:19:49,701 [Exhales] 550 00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:53,738 Okay, well, this is normal. 551 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:54,739 No big deal. 552 00:19:54,741 --> 00:19:56,675 - Drive safe. - We will. 553 00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:58,376 I packed you some sandwiches 554 00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:00,679 and some caffeine free iced tea. 555 00:20:00,681 --> 00:20:02,914 So--oh, and there's a mix CD that I made 556 00:20:02,916 --> 00:20:04,883 already loaded in your car. 557 00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:06,417 There's a lot of Sarah McLanahan, 558 00:20:06,419 --> 00:20:07,886 so, Chris, I apologize. 559 00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:09,888 Things are gonna get emotional. 560 00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:12,757 [Chuckles] 561 00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:14,559 I love you. 562 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:18,596 I love you too. 563 00:20:21,684 --> 00:20:24,736 [Engine starts] 564 00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:34,079 Breakfast, Knope? 565 00:20:34,081 --> 00:20:36,981 Oh, I don't know. 566 00:20:36,983 --> 00:20:38,250 Come on. 567 00:20:38,252 --> 00:20:40,318 There has never been a sadness 568 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,504 that can't be cured by breakfast food. 569 00:20:42,506 --> 00:20:44,339 That's fair. 570 00:20:44,341 --> 00:20:46,625 Someone else is gonna have to drive though. 571 00:20:46,627 --> 00:20:48,326 My eyes are basically useless right now. 572 00:20:48,328 --> 00:20:49,594 I'm on it. 573 00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,062 Shotgun! I called shotgun! 574 00:20:51,064 --> 00:20:52,847 - You're all nailed. - I call sitting on your lap. 575 00:20:52,849 --> 00:20:54,232 You can't--I--double shotgun! 576 00:20:54,234 --> 00:20:55,483 We call double shotgun! 577 00:20:55,485 --> 00:20:56,801 How come people don't do that more often? 578 00:20:56,803 --> 00:20:57,969 It's illegal. 579 00:20:57,971 --> 00:20:59,604 Raise your hand if you want waffles. 580 00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:00,855 I'm eating waffles. 581 00:21:00,857 --> 00:21:02,857 Bacon and eggs, please and thank you. 582 00:21:02,859 --> 00:21:05,693 ♪ You belong somewhere you feel free ♪ 583 00:21:06,255 --> 00:21:12,896 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com