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00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:03,028
Hello, I am Leslie Knope,
and I am here
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00:00:03,108 --> 00:00:04,949
to interview for
the Deputy Parks Director job.
3
00:00:04,974 --> 00:00:06,791
Leslie, this is ridiculous.
4
00:00:06,911 --> 00:00:08,345
It's your job.
Take it.
5
00:00:08,379 --> 00:00:09,512
Well, I should have
to interview
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00:00:09,547 --> 00:00:10,947
- just like everyone else.
- Mm.
7
00:00:10,982 --> 00:00:12,782
Now, if you'll see
on my resume,
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00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:15,385
I held the position
of deputy director
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00:00:15,419 --> 00:00:17,053
of parks and recreation
for almost ten years.
10
00:00:17,088 --> 00:00:18,955
I know.
I was your boss.
11
00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:21,157
I also walked you down the aisle
at your wedding.
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00:00:21,192 --> 00:00:22,492
Take the job
and leave me alone.
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Come on, Ron.
Just interview me.
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00:00:24,161 --> 00:00:27,097
- No special treatment.
- Okay, fine.
15
00:00:27,131 --> 00:00:28,291
What do you believe should be
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00:00:28,299 --> 00:00:29,866
the ultimate goal
of this department?
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00:00:29,901 --> 00:00:31,902
The ancient Greek version
of the park
18
00:00:31,936 --> 00:00:34,237
was the agora,
a gathering place
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00:00:34,272 --> 00:00:35,972
where people
from all walks of life--
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00:00:36,007 --> 00:00:37,774
What are you writing?
Is it good?
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00:00:37,808 --> 00:00:40,343
What do you think is the best
use of our yearly budget?
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00:00:40,378 --> 00:00:42,112
It's right there in the name:
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00:00:42,146 --> 00:00:43,613
Maintaining our beautiful parks
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00:00:43,648 --> 00:00:46,550
and providing healthy
outdoor recreation.
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00:00:46,584 --> 00:00:48,618
I'm sorry, Ms. Knope,
the correct answer is
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00:00:48,653 --> 00:00:50,987
"Give it all back
to the taxpayers."
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It seems you and I have
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00:00:52,056 --> 00:00:53,590
fundamentally different
philosophies.
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Frankly, it's a miracle
we ever worked together
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00:00:55,927 --> 00:00:57,194
without killing each other.
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00:00:57,228 --> 00:00:58,595
- Good day.
- Ha, ha, okay.
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00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:00,363
No more goofing around.
Just tell me I have the job.
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00:01:00,398 --> 00:01:01,631
I have a lot of other people
to meet with.
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00:01:01,666 --> 00:01:04,234
- I'll be in touch.
- Ron, come on, it's me.
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00:01:04,268 --> 00:01:06,403
Give me special treatment.
36
00:01:09,407 --> 00:01:17,280
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Okay, first morning meeting
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00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,794
back in the old
conference room.
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What's this?
40
00:01:31,752 --> 00:01:33,496
Oh, it shows everyone's
spirit dogs.
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00:01:33,531 --> 00:01:34,497
- That one's you.
- You guys think
42
00:01:34,532 --> 00:01:35,632
I'm a border collie?
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00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:37,801
So obviously a cocker spaniel.
44
00:01:37,835 --> 00:01:40,103
The spirit dog committee
ruled on that weeks ago.
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00:01:40,137 --> 00:01:42,105
- There is no appeals process.
- No.
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00:01:43,774 --> 00:01:44,934
Totally.
I'm in on the joke.
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00:01:44,942 --> 00:01:47,143
I get it, but maybe
we should stop talking
48
00:01:47,178 --> 00:01:49,446
about your insane dog choices
and get to working.
49
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,115
Classic border collie.
Has to control everything.
50
00:01:53,217 --> 00:01:55,585
Totally.
51
00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,187
First on the agenda:
I'm gonna bring
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00:01:57,221 --> 00:02:00,357
my lemonade stand idea
to the small business coalition,
53
00:02:00,391 --> 00:02:02,125
and a little birdie told me
it's already in the bag.
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00:02:02,159 --> 00:02:03,493
- Can I get a what-what?
- What?
55
00:02:03,528 --> 00:02:04,494
- What?
- Thank you.
56
00:02:04,529 --> 00:02:05,662
No.
What idea?
57
00:02:05,696 --> 00:02:07,764
The fella who runs
the hot stew stand
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00:02:07,798 --> 00:02:09,566
in Lafayette Park is retiring,
59
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,836
so Pawnee's new
business liaison--Tom--
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00:02:12,870 --> 00:02:15,071
went out and got the Indiana
Brothers juice company
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00:02:15,106 --> 00:02:16,406
to rent it out
as a lemonade stand.
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00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,474
Wow.
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00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:20,277
Plus, I downloaded
this dope app
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00:02:20,311 --> 00:02:22,045
that pops champagne whenever
I say something awesome.
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00:02:22,079 --> 00:02:23,413
- Tom, that's great.
- I know.
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00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,782
- And it was only 9 bucks.
- No, I mean, the lemonade--
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00:02:25,816 --> 00:02:27,684
never mind.
Well, I will start doing
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00:02:27,718 --> 00:02:29,319
an environmental impact study,
and Ron,
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you can do some
demographic research.
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00:02:30,688 --> 00:02:31,855
Don't sweat it, Lez-kno.
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00:02:31,889 --> 00:02:34,391
Tommy's taking care
of every last detail.
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00:02:34,425 --> 00:02:36,026
Nothing I can do to help?
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00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:38,195
Okay.
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00:02:38,229 --> 00:02:39,996
Oh.
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00:02:40,031 --> 00:02:42,532
I can straighten this for you.
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00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:46,736
There we go.
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00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:48,038
Oh, Larry.
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00:02:48,072 --> 00:02:50,207
We've been taking pictures
all over City Hall
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00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:52,442
to show our unborn baby
where we met.
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00:02:52,477 --> 00:02:53,677
- Would you mind?
- Oh, my gosh.
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00:02:53,711 --> 00:02:55,212
I would be honored.
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00:02:55,246 --> 00:02:58,381
Say, when are you crazy kids
gonna get hitched?
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00:02:58,416 --> 00:02:59,449
Well, you know, actually,
we haven't
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00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:00,550
discussed it in a while.
85
00:03:00,585 --> 00:03:01,985
No, it's kind of taken
a back seat.
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00:03:02,019 --> 00:03:03,353
Well, you know,
to each his own,
87
00:03:03,387 --> 00:03:05,622
but you guys really seem
like you're in love.
88
00:03:05,656 --> 00:03:08,625
And when I see a couple
who look at each other
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00:03:08,659 --> 00:03:10,427
the way you do,
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00:03:10,461 --> 00:03:11,795
I don't know,
it just makes me think
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00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:14,731
that maybe this crazy world
is gonna be okay.
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00:03:15,733 --> 00:03:17,734
That literally went on forever.
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00:03:17,769 --> 00:03:19,970
I thought you were never
gonna stop talking.
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00:03:20,004 --> 00:03:22,439
But now that you have...
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00:03:22,473 --> 00:03:24,741
Ann Perkins, will you marry me?
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00:03:27,411 --> 00:03:28,345
Wow.
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00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:30,213
Cracker dust.
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00:03:30,248 --> 00:03:32,782
Uh, I mean, yes, of--
of course, l-let's do it.
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00:03:32,817 --> 00:03:34,150
Can I have a sip
of your water, please?
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00:03:34,185 --> 00:03:36,052
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm--I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
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00:03:36,087 --> 00:03:38,054
Oh, no, no, totally understand.
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00:03:38,089 --> 00:03:39,356
Ann Perkins...
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00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,957
I'm gonna cough it out.
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00:03:40,992 --> 00:03:43,894
I would like to spend
the rest of my life with you.
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00:03:43,928 --> 00:03:45,629
I love you.
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00:03:45,663 --> 00:03:49,432
I love you too.
107
00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:51,067
No part of this
is how I pictured it.
108
00:03:51,102 --> 00:03:53,003
I thought another cracker
might push it through,
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00:03:53,037 --> 00:03:54,671
but I was wrong.
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00:03:54,705 --> 00:03:56,072
- Let's do this right.
- Yeah.
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00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:57,040
Let's go get
an engagement ring.
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00:03:57,074 --> 00:03:59,276
Yes.
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00:04:00,578 --> 00:04:02,245
That was a beautiful moment.
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00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:07,017
- Hello, France!
- Mm.
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00:04:07,051 --> 00:04:08,291
You guys enjoying that cheese?
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00:04:08,319 --> 00:04:09,586
It's unpasteurized.
117
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,188
What's that mean?
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00:04:11,222 --> 00:04:13,423
- Unpasteurized?
- I don't care. I don't care.
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00:04:13,457 --> 00:04:16,226
Technically, it's illegal
in this country.
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00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:18,028
I smuggled it back from Paris.
121
00:04:18,062 --> 00:04:19,496
Anyway, I want you guys
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00:04:19,530 --> 00:04:22,032
to think of my office
as a clubhouse,
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00:04:22,066 --> 00:04:24,301
total open-door policy.
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00:04:24,335 --> 00:04:26,036
I wanna be your friend
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00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:27,370
as well as your boss.
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00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:29,039
What the hell
is wrong with you?
127
00:04:29,073 --> 00:04:31,007
Are you in a cult?
Can I join?
128
00:04:31,042 --> 00:04:33,543
- Let's sacrifice Larry.
- Oh, April.
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00:04:33,578 --> 00:04:35,212
It's my first day
as city manager,
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00:04:35,246 --> 00:04:37,180
so I'm holding
open office hours
131
00:04:37,215 --> 00:04:38,748
to break the ice.
132
00:04:38,783 --> 00:04:40,417
Now, Chris was always
the nice guy
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00:04:40,451 --> 00:04:43,286
that made everyone happy,
while I brought down the hammer.
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00:04:43,321 --> 00:04:46,923
But now that he's gone,
I kind of have to do both.
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00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:49,593
Everyone is the best.
We're cutting vacation time.
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00:04:49,627 --> 00:04:52,162
Let's eat vitamins.
This is exhausting.
137
00:04:52,196 --> 00:04:53,563
Listen real quick.
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00:04:53,598 --> 00:04:55,098
I have some super cool
new rules...
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00:04:55,132 --> 00:04:58,502
- Oh, nice.
- That are also super mandatory.
140
00:04:58,536 --> 00:05:00,804
Uh, we can't use
Facebook anymore?
141
00:05:00,838 --> 00:05:02,372
- Are you serious?
- That's right.
142
00:05:02,407 --> 00:05:05,842
Massive time waster.
Kills productivity.
143
00:05:05,877 --> 00:05:07,244
Hey, sanitation.
144
00:05:07,278 --> 00:05:10,447
Listen, let's talk
health insurance.
145
00:05:10,481 --> 00:05:11,882
Your dependents
don't have it anymore.
146
00:05:11,916 --> 00:05:13,083
Have some illegal cheese.
147
00:05:13,117 --> 00:05:15,819
No cell phone usage
on City Hall property?
148
00:05:15,853 --> 00:05:18,188
That's not fair, my cell phone
is how I avoid doing work.
149
00:05:18,222 --> 00:05:21,124
Bathroom breaks should be
limited to five minutes?
150
00:05:21,159 --> 00:05:22,759
I can't shower in five minutes.
151
00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:24,394
See, he's acting
all loosey-goosey,
152
00:05:24,428 --> 00:05:26,429
but that little dude's
wound so tight,
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00:05:26,464 --> 00:05:28,198
- he's gonna pop.
- ♪ Hey, sanitation
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00:05:28,232 --> 00:05:31,001
♪ sanitation
in the house tonight ♪
155
00:05:33,070 --> 00:05:35,071
Oh, what happened
to our spirit dogs?
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00:05:35,106 --> 00:05:36,973
I came up
with a way better game.
157
00:05:37,008 --> 00:05:39,543
Behold your spirit kangaroo.
158
00:05:39,577 --> 00:05:41,311
Tom, you are a blue flyer.
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00:05:41,345 --> 00:05:43,813
So am I.
So are you and Donna.
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00:05:43,848 --> 00:05:45,115
And look at Ron.
Look at Ron.
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00:05:45,149 --> 00:05:46,583
I mean--
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00:05:46,617 --> 00:05:49,252
Doesn't Ron look exactly
like a blue flyer?
163
00:05:49,287 --> 00:05:51,988
There aren't that many
different types of kangaroos.
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00:05:52,023 --> 00:05:54,591
Either way, hell of a game,
right, guys?
165
00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:56,159
Presentations are upon us,
166
00:05:56,194 --> 00:05:58,495
so, Tom, which step
are you at in
167
00:05:58,529 --> 00:06:00,697
The Leslie Knope Project
Preparedness Super System?
168
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,065
Yeah, once you got on
the city council,
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00:06:02,099 --> 00:06:03,533
- we kinda stopped doin' that.
- What?
170
00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:04,935
Tom, no, you cannot drop
171
00:06:04,969 --> 00:06:06,969
The Leslie Knope Project
Preparedness Super System.
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00:06:06,971 --> 00:06:10,140
It was developed over thousands
of government presentations
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00:06:10,174 --> 00:06:12,075
that I gave
over the past ten years.
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00:06:12,109 --> 00:06:15,078
- It is my very soul.
- Well, I have my own system.
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00:06:15,112 --> 00:06:16,913
Step one:
Chill out a bit.
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00:06:16,948 --> 00:06:18,548
Step two:
Get up there and rip it.
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00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:20,750
That's your plan?
To--to rip it?
178
00:06:20,785 --> 00:06:23,153
Leslie, this is Tom's project.
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00:06:23,187 --> 00:06:25,088
Perhaps you should let him
do things his way.
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00:06:25,122 --> 00:06:27,824
Sure, yeah, you should
probably just rip it.
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00:06:27,858 --> 00:06:29,459
I think that's better
than going
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00:06:29,493 --> 00:06:31,461
with a tried and true
80-step system
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00:06:31,496 --> 00:06:33,296
that led to--
and I quote--
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00:06:33,331 --> 00:06:35,999
"The most thorough
and, dare we say, at times,
185
00:06:36,033 --> 00:06:38,335
over-prepared presentation
that we've seen."
186
00:06:38,369 --> 00:06:39,769
And yeah, that quote came from
187
00:06:39,804 --> 00:06:42,305
the Indiana blue ribbon panel
on irrigation and drainage.
188
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:44,274
Fine, I'll go back
to your system.
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00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:46,228
- You're the big dog around here.
- Big kangaroo.
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00:06:46,244 --> 00:06:47,642
And thank you.
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00:06:47,762 --> 00:06:49,994
Well, yeah, I was gone for a while
192
00:06:50,114 --> 00:06:51,715
and things are a little
different around here,
193
00:06:51,749 --> 00:06:53,019
but this is still my house.
194
00:06:53,139 --> 00:06:55,785
I invented
this parks game, son.
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00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:58,188
Oh.
196
00:06:58,222 --> 00:07:00,395
Damn it!
When did they put a lamp here?
197
00:07:03,307 --> 00:07:05,092
Hey.
The boys in blue?
198
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,294
Ah, what can I do
for you... for?
199
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:09,829
We got a tip about some food
200
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,631
entering the country illegally.
201
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,733
No--no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
202
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,701
Thi--it's just cheese, guys.
203
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,336
Uh, I got it in France.
204
00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,338
Okay. Did you declare it
on your customs form
205
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:22,008
when you reentered the country?
206
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,477
We're gonna need you
to come down to the station.
207
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,078
I'm sure that's not necessary.
208
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,847
Let's just--
this is really good cheese.
209
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,382
- You should try some.
- Are you trying to bribe us?
210
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:32,485
No! Oh, God.
I surrender.
211
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,088
- Step forward.
- Okay, okay.
212
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,323
There you go.
213
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,292
This is so exciting.
214
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,594
Hi, folks.
When's the big day?
215
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,696
I assume this is a, you know...
216
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,265
Oh.
No.
217
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,633
This isn't a shotgun wedding,
218
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,769
although, yes, she is pregnant,
219
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,038
and, yes, we did just decide
to get married today.
220
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,840
We haven't told our families
221
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,875
or chosen a venue,
222
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,777
but it's not a shotgun wedding.
223
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,345
We've been planning ours
for months.
224
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,047
You wouldn't believe how much
there is to do.
225
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,715
Invitations, table settings,
226
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,417
color scheme, dance lessons.
227
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:05,484
And that's just
for the rehearsal dinner.
228
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:06,752
Oh.
229
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,854
Seriously, that's just
for the rehearsal dinner.
230
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,023
That sounds elaborate.
231
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,925
All we did was punch
"jewelry store"
232
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,293
into our car GPS.
233
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,495
You remember
that romantic moment, Chris?
234
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,297
I was getting gas.
235
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,066
No, I don't remember it.
236
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,470
Hey, Tom, I don't mean
to bug you or anything,
237
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,073
but I notice that my super
system binder is closed.
238
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,274
Just checking
that you had a chance
239
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,309
to refamiliarize yourself
entirely.
240
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,078
Yeah, flipped through it.
Looks good.
241
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,779
Huh.
You're lying.
242
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,983
I placed a single strand
of hair along the edge,
243
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,584
and that secret strand
is unbroken.
244
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,119
Whose hair is that?
It's brown.
245
00:08:40,154 --> 00:08:41,454
Look, it seems
like you don't even care
246
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,755
about your presentation.
247
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,457
Au contraire.
I'm working on it right now.
248
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,425
And what's the most important
part of a presentation?
249
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:47,693
- Content.
- The presentation.
250
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,595
Okay.
Tom, you need hard data.
251
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,930
You need facts
to make your case.
252
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,298
And then you need
two funny quotes
253
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,499
and an inspirational one.
254
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,035
You know, a classic
ha-ha-hmm.
255
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,203
Look, I think you need
to take a page
256
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,639
out of my system
and chill out a bit, okay?
257
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,240
I got this.
258
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,775
Okay, fine, I trust you.
259
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,744
But I think you're gonna fail,
and you're a ticking time bomb.
260
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,112
- What's that?
- Nothing, good luck.
261
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,813
- This is an elk hair.
- Yes.
262
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,482
It's the most effective hair
for binder security.
263
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:10,483
You know that, Ron.
264
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,051
If Tom gives that presentation,
265
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,753
it is going to be
a total disaster
266
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,155
for both him
and the department.
267
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:17,890
I cannot sit idly by
268
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,859
and watch
this terrible thing happen.
269
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,394
I mean, I can barely
sit idly by
270
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,762
and watch good things happen.
271
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,330
We've got a couple
of customs agents
272
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,365
coming down from the border,
and they are not happy.
273
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,201
I can't believe this.
I never break the law.
274
00:09:28,202 --> 00:09:30,036
- I've never even jaywalked.
- Never?
275
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,772
I mean, I-I-I--
everyone does it sometimes.
276
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,640
Just add that to the charges.
277
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,410
Well, well, well,
we got a hit on your prints.
278
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,645
Seems you're wanted
for tax fraud in Colorado?
279
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,813
What?
280
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,548
I've never even been
to Colorado.
281
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,183
I mean, I had a layover
in Denver once.
282
00:09:44,218 --> 00:09:46,152
Man, you can't keep
your story straight, can you?
283
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,186
- Come on!
- Oh.
284
00:09:47,221 --> 00:09:48,588
Here comes
the customs guys now.
285
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,223
Fellas, he's all yours.
286
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,292
You're pranked.
287
00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:54,660
You gotta see the stupid look
on your face.
288
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,062
Check this out.
I took a picture.
289
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,331
- Classic!
- You seemed a little uptight.
290
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:01,767
Thought we'd have some fun
with our new boss.
291
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,569
Wow.
Thi--you got me.
292
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,338
Good one, makin' me think
I was gonna like
293
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,405
die in federal prison...
294
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,773
Ah, that's super funny,
295
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,343
you scamps.
296
00:10:11,461 --> 00:10:13,622
Now, Stu, I know that you're
thinking about retiring,
297
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,248
and I am here
to ask you to reconsider.
298
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,282
What do you say?
299
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,584
Keep that Lafayette Park
stand open,
300
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,353
pumpin' out the stew
like you do.
301
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,088
I don't know.
302
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,457
I'm looking forward to spending
time with my wife,
303
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,292
working on some new hobbies.
304
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,361
I was thinking about getting
into bisques.
305
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,496
Stu, you have been a staple
306
00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:32,865
in the parks department system
for years.
307
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,835
Retirement is for the birds.
You're gonna be so bored.
308
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,804
I'm gonna say this
because you need to hear it.
309
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:41,073
Screw bisque.
310
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,675
- That makes a lot of sense.
- Yeah.
311
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,744
What now?
What do I do?
312
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,612
Well, we're gonna need
to convince the business council
313
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,015
to keep you around, but that's
not for you to worry about.
314
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,683
I'll take care of it.
You just keep on
315
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:51,684
stewin' what you stew.
316
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,453
Thanks, Leslie.
317
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,154
This calls for a toast.
318
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:59,859
Susan?
Stew flutes, please.
319
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:00,927
Ah.
320
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,131
To stew.
321
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,000
Mm.
Oh, my God.
322
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,236
- That's very hot.
- Mm-hmm.
323
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,704
Congratulations.
This is a beauty.
324
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,573
If you like,
I could engrave the date
325
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,041
on the inside of the band.
326
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,409
That may be tough,
327
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,211
'cause we actually
haven't discussed it yet.
328
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:21,180
We could engrave "2014"
329
00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:24,016
- or "TBD."
- Hang on.
330
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,152
If neither of us has ever
thought about this stuff,
331
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,920
then maybe there's a reason.
332
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,922
When you think about it,
we are already
333
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,858
more married
than most married people.
334
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,759
Right? I mean,
we're having a child together.
335
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:34,961
We're moving to a new city.
336
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,596
You let me pee
with the door open
337
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:38,197
so I could watch the end of
Grey's Anatomy.
338
00:11:38,232 --> 00:11:40,700
That was a fantastic
season finale
339
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,602
and a show that is literally
340
00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:44,270
a never-ending roller coaster
of emotion.
341
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,439
I mean, why spend
thousands of dollars
342
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,241
just to reaffirm
what we already know,
343
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,976
which is that
we love each other?
344
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:53,145
That is so beautiful.
345
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:56,282
Theodore, we would like
to return that ring.
346
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,650
And get a refund, please.
347
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:58,951
Maybe we should
talk this over too.
348
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,686
- Oh, come on.
- Think what we could do
349
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,821
if we didn't buy this ring.
350
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:05,258
I mean, this could go
towards buying a house.
351
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,859
You have a lovely store.
352
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,661
- Hey, boss?
- Hey.
353
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,797
I was just printing out
my minesweeper high score,
354
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,266
and I noticed this memo.
355
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,268
You're punishing us
for the prank?
356
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:16,602
No, no, no, no, no, no.
357
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:18,504
It's just like a warning memo.
358
00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:20,139
Like, "Hey, all in good fun,
359
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,774
"but I'm your boss,
and if you do it again,
360
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,109
you're suspended."
361
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,111
- That kind of thing.
- Listen.
362
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:29,015
I know that you're the governor
or whatever,
363
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,783
and I'm just government junior.
364
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,618
- What?
- I feel like you're blowing it.
365
00:12:32,653 --> 00:12:33,786
If you want people to like you,
366
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,121
you have to play along.
367
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,356
Don't punish Donna and April.
368
00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:38,524
Prank them back.
369
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:40,560
I guess I could stand
to loosen up a little,
370
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,162
but I don't know
how to pull a prank.
371
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,031
Dude, okay.
Well, I could help you.
372
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,466
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
373
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,035
I once did the best prank
of all time.
374
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,770
I dumped all of my boss's
action figures
375
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,905
- into a fish tank.
- Yeah, that was me.
376
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,073
And I didn't really like it.
377
00:12:54,108 --> 00:12:55,675
Classic.
378
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,343
Great news, guys.
379
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,378
- I just saved your bacon.
- Impossible.
380
00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:00,613
You don't even know
where it is.
381
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:01,981
I know you were excited to get
382
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,517
in front of the committee
and rip it,
383
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:05,885
but in the spirit of teamwork,
384
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,821
I unilaterally decided
to bring Stu out of retirement.
385
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,089
- So pressure's off.
- What?
386
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:12,024
- I spent a lot of time on this.
- Doin' what,
387
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,160
- putting mousse in your hair?
- It's a gel-based serum.
388
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,195
Second of all,
who uses mousse still?
389
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,897
Oh, God.
Leslie.
390
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,498
Let's put our differences aside
for a second.
391
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,267
Friend to friend,
do you still use mousse?
392
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:25,338
No, I use the juicy space
thing--whatever you do.
393
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,773
The point is you weren't ready
for this, Tom.
394
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,109
Stu's sales are flat.
Lemonade's the future.
395
00:13:30,144 --> 00:13:31,310
I'm still doing
my presentation.
396
00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:33,112
I'm still doing
my stew presentation,
397
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:34,313
and we'll see which one
the committee likes.
398
00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:36,048
- Fine.
- Fine.
399
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:41,487
Yeah.
400
00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:43,723
I didn't think so.
401
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,140
On the other hand,
there are some benefits
402
00:13:47,165 --> 00:13:48,432
to being married: Taxes,
403
00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:51,600
health insurance,
and I don't have to feel weird
404
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,138
when hotel employees
call me "Mr. Perkins."
405
00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:55,507
Yeah, that makes me
feel weird too.
406
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:57,643
Maybe we should.
I don't know anymore.
407
00:13:57,677 --> 00:14:00,112
"Maybe we should.
I don't know anymore."
408
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:02,047
Ann, that is
a beautiful sentiment.
409
00:14:02,081 --> 00:14:03,215
Okay, you're all set.
410
00:14:03,249 --> 00:14:04,750
Credit card's been
fully refunded.
411
00:14:04,784 --> 00:14:06,051
Perfect timing.
412
00:14:06,086 --> 00:14:07,953
We are going to buy this ring.
413
00:14:07,987 --> 00:14:10,522
Charge it.
414
00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:16,228
Ann Perkins, will you marry me?
415
00:14:16,262 --> 00:14:18,931
- I don't know!
- Me either!
416
00:14:18,965 --> 00:14:21,633
- Maybe let's not?
- Yeah, I think maybe not.
417
00:14:21,668 --> 00:14:24,436
Okay.
Ring's yours again. Hello?
418
00:14:24,471 --> 00:14:27,306
Actually, we don't want
the ring.
419
00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:28,407
Unbelievable.
420
00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:32,244
Leslie, look.
421
00:14:32,278 --> 00:14:34,446
I'm the last person to want
to deprive the world
422
00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:37,149
of more stew, but are you sure
you wanna do this?
423
00:14:37,183 --> 00:14:39,551
Look, I love Tom,
but you and I both know
424
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:41,353
that he's not ready to step up.
425
00:14:41,387 --> 00:14:43,555
Don't you remember his last
presentation on topsoil?
426
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,357
The botched laser show?
427
00:14:45,391 --> 00:14:47,025
Larry still can't see purple.
428
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,694
That was Larry's fault.
429
00:14:48,728 --> 00:14:50,929
He picked up the laser
and stared right into it.
430
00:14:50,964 --> 00:14:52,898
I know, but still,
Tom is all flash
431
00:14:52,932 --> 00:14:55,367
- and no substance.
- That's the old Tom.
432
00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:56,735
You've been gone
for a while, Leslie.
433
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,070
Tom has changed.
434
00:14:58,104 --> 00:15:00,372
He ran a business,
sold it for a profit.
435
00:15:00,406 --> 00:15:02,708
He's also been working here
for six years,
436
00:15:02,742 --> 00:15:04,676
and he's learned a lot
from you.
437
00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:05,878
At some point,
you're gonna have
438
00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:08,714
to trust him to do his job.
439
00:15:10,016 --> 00:15:11,583
You guys.
You guys.
440
00:15:11,618 --> 00:15:12,751
- Be cool.
- What's going on?
441
00:15:12,785 --> 00:15:15,120
I kind of convinced Ben
to prank you guys,
442
00:15:15,155 --> 00:15:16,455
and it got
a little out of hand.
443
00:15:16,489 --> 00:15:18,657
I probably should've said no
to some of his ideas,
444
00:15:18,691 --> 00:15:19,992
but he's on his way here
right now.
445
00:15:20,026 --> 00:15:21,760
Here he is.
Just be cool.
446
00:15:21,794 --> 00:15:23,128
Hey, guys.
What's up?
447
00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:25,030
Um, oh, I just remembered.
448
00:15:25,064 --> 00:15:27,132
Can I show you something out
to the front area?
449
00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:29,802
And leave your cell phones
because of no reason.
450
00:15:29,836 --> 00:15:32,070
Just leave anything
that can't get wet, actually,
451
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,807
like you would normally.
452
00:15:37,177 --> 00:15:39,278
Okay, here we go
to the parking lot now.
453
00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:41,780
Wow, this is really sad.
454
00:15:43,616 --> 00:15:45,084
Yep, follow to me, guys.
455
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:48,720
Just going to the parking lot
for normal government reasons.
456
00:15:50,256 --> 00:15:51,290
Sorry, can't go through
with this.
457
00:15:51,324 --> 00:15:52,658
I was gonna pull a prank.
458
00:15:52,692 --> 00:15:53,859
- No!
- Yeah.
459
00:15:53,893 --> 00:15:57,029
I hired these guys
in ski masks to kidnap us,
460
00:15:57,063 --> 00:15:58,664
and I was gonna pretend
to be a hero.
461
00:15:58,698 --> 00:16:00,966
They were gonna shoot me
and drive the van
462
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,668
into the river,
and that's when the divers
463
00:16:02,702 --> 00:16:04,503
would go in,
pull you guys out of the water,
464
00:16:04,537 --> 00:16:06,105
and I would be standing
on the shore like,
465
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,906
"Hey, you get pranked much?"
466
00:16:07,941 --> 00:16:09,241
What the?
467
00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:12,177
I even got these squibs
from a special effects guy,
468
00:16:12,212 --> 00:16:14,179
and I was gonna say
this code word.
469
00:16:14,214 --> 00:16:15,894
And that's when I would
push this button.
470
00:16:15,915 --> 00:16:19,585
No, no, no, no, no!
471
00:16:19,619 --> 00:16:22,421
Oh, my God.
You got blood all over me.
472
00:16:22,455 --> 00:16:23,722
Thank you.
473
00:16:23,757 --> 00:16:25,124
I mean it.
474
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:28,127
- Ben, that was amazing.
- Really?
475
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:29,728
Best prank ever.
476
00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:34,733
I'm sorry, buddy, daddy
can't get home to tuck you in.
477
00:16:34,768 --> 00:16:36,101
Oh, how old is your son?
478
00:16:36,136 --> 00:16:37,436
Just pick a thing.
479
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:39,705
Honey, look at this.
This is what I want.
480
00:16:39,739 --> 00:16:42,007
I don't want a ring.
I don't want a wedding.
481
00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:43,442
I just want this locket
482
00:16:43,476 --> 00:16:45,277
with a picture of our child
in it.
483
00:16:45,311 --> 00:16:47,212
I mean, we've never
been traditional.
484
00:16:47,247 --> 00:16:49,181
We made out the first night
we ever met.
485
00:16:49,215 --> 00:16:51,150
And when we did date,
we broke up,
486
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,151
but you didn't realize it,
487
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,585
and that was very embarrassing
for you.
488
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,554
Yeah, let's maybe not talk
about that part right now.
489
00:16:55,588 --> 00:16:57,456
And then we got pregnant
as friends,
490
00:16:57,490 --> 00:16:59,024
and then we fell in love.
491
00:16:59,058 --> 00:17:00,492
We've never been
very conventional,
492
00:17:00,527 --> 00:17:02,895
so why start now?
493
00:17:02,929 --> 00:17:05,063
Theodore? We will not
be needing that ring,
494
00:17:05,098 --> 00:17:07,533
but we would like
to purchase this locket.
495
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:08,700
How much?
496
00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:10,469
Just take it
and get outta here.
497
00:17:10,503 --> 00:17:12,471
- Thank you!
- Thanks.
498
00:17:15,575 --> 00:17:17,810
We're here to discuss
a business contract
499
00:17:17,844 --> 00:17:20,179
for the Lafayette Park
food stand.
500
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,847
Miss Knope,
you've always steered
501
00:17:21,881 --> 00:17:23,482
this committee
in the right direction.
502
00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:27,252
Why do you think we should renew
Hot Stu's lease?
503
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,223
Well, frankly,
it's because of Stu.
504
00:17:31,257 --> 00:17:35,127
Here's a man
who was ready to retire,
505
00:17:35,161 --> 00:17:36,595
spend time
with his family, travel.
506
00:17:36,629 --> 00:17:39,731
And then he realized,
"No, I wanna spend my time
507
00:17:39,766 --> 00:17:42,134
"in a small metal box
all summer,
508
00:17:42,168 --> 00:17:46,071
bent over a boiling cauldron
of steaming, bubbling meat."
509
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,439
Making stew is hard:
510
00:17:47,474 --> 00:17:49,408
Up at the crack of dawn,
backbreaking labor,
511
00:17:49,442 --> 00:17:52,177
your clothes smelling
like salt and gristle.
512
00:17:52,212 --> 00:17:53,612
Sure, profits are minimal,
513
00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:55,080
but Stu doesn't care
about that.
514
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,850
Maybe a year extension
isn't enough.
515
00:17:57,884 --> 00:17:59,551
Maybe we should make it
five years.
516
00:17:59,586 --> 00:18:02,588
Heck, why don't we give him
a lifetime deal?
517
00:18:02,622 --> 00:18:04,857
I'd like to see Stu ladling out
518
00:18:04,891 --> 00:18:06,959
his pungent beef smoothies
519
00:18:06,993 --> 00:18:10,929
until we bury him
under that shed.
520
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,198
I think I've made
a terrible mistake.
521
00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,833
Okay, that was bleak.
522
00:18:14,868 --> 00:18:18,203
Uh, Mr. Haverford, you have
a presentation as well?
523
00:18:18,238 --> 00:18:22,441
Hey.
Rip it.
524
00:18:22,475 --> 00:18:24,977
There's nothing more American
than lemonade.
525
00:18:25,011 --> 00:18:27,513
Just sayin' the word
makes you wanna drink some.
526
00:18:27,547 --> 00:18:29,448
And now you can.
Check under your seats.
527
00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:34,219
Heh, hey.
Has my name on it.
528
00:18:34,254 --> 00:18:36,455
Yes, it does.
Classic for you, Carter.
529
00:18:36,489 --> 00:18:38,323
Darva,
yours is a pink lemonade.
530
00:18:38,358 --> 00:18:40,659
- I know you love that.
- Because I like pink.
531
00:18:40,693 --> 00:18:41,927
That's right.
Now, who here
532
00:18:41,961 --> 00:18:45,430
likes laser shows?
533
00:18:45,465 --> 00:18:49,501
Summer foot traffic in Lafayette
Park has increased 23%.
534
00:18:49,536 --> 00:18:51,670
The Indiana Brothers
are the fastest-growing
535
00:18:51,704 --> 00:18:53,472
beverage company
in the Midwest.
536
00:18:53,506 --> 00:18:55,541
My projections show
they can increase
537
00:18:55,575 --> 00:18:59,178
government revenue 30%
over the next five years.
538
00:18:59,212 --> 00:19:03,423
Plus, they've agreed to waive
their franchise fee.
539
00:19:03,663 --> 00:19:06,064
Look, guys, I'm sorry
about all the new rules,
540
00:19:06,184 --> 00:19:08,554
But--you know,
I want you to like me.
541
00:19:08,588 --> 00:19:10,789
But I-I also really need you
to respect me.
542
00:19:10,824 --> 00:19:13,092
I respect you, little buddy.
543
00:19:13,126 --> 00:19:14,093
Come here.
544
00:19:14,127 --> 00:19:15,327
Mm, respect noogie.
545
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,862
Ah!
546
00:19:16,896 --> 00:19:18,664
We didn't prank you
'cause we don't respect you.
547
00:19:18,698 --> 00:19:20,199
We did it 'cause we love you.
548
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,134
♪ R-e-s-p-e-g-c
549
00:19:22,168 --> 00:19:24,970
Well, that's actually not
how respect is spelled.
550
00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:26,438
- Yes.
- According to Urethra Franklin,
551
00:19:26,473 --> 00:19:27,639
that's exactly
how it's spelled.
552
00:19:27,674 --> 00:19:30,209
Hey, Wyatt.
You were a good sport earlier.
553
00:19:30,243 --> 00:19:31,543
No hard feelings?
554
00:19:32,946 --> 00:19:35,047
Here's a little gift for you
for believing in me.
555
00:19:35,081 --> 00:19:38,183
- Oh.
- It's a gel-based hair serum.
556
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,552
Enough with the mousse,
for real.
557
00:19:40,587 --> 00:19:42,388
Okay.
558
00:19:42,422 --> 00:19:45,057
Well, Ron, you were right.
Tom has really grown up.
559
00:19:45,091 --> 00:19:46,525
You seem merely overjoyed
560
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,327
instead of irritatingly
ecstatic.
561
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,329
- Why?
- Well, Tom's come into his own.
562
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:52,431
April runs Animal Control.
563
00:19:52,465 --> 00:19:54,733
I mean, does this department
even need me anymore?
564
00:19:54,768 --> 00:19:57,536
No.
We do not.
565
00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:59,104
April and Tom started out
566
00:19:59,139 --> 00:20:01,607
as two of the most apathetic
people I had ever met.
567
00:20:01,641 --> 00:20:03,375
It's why I hired them.
568
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,177
Then you betrayed me
and turned them
569
00:20:05,211 --> 00:20:07,713
into efficient and caring
government employees.
570
00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:10,716
This office can indeed
function without you.
571
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,518
And soon, it'll have to.
572
00:20:12,552 --> 00:20:13,852
Was that a death threat?
573
00:20:13,887 --> 00:20:17,089
We both know you're not
gonna be here forever.
574
00:20:17,123 --> 00:20:18,624
This is a weigh station
575
00:20:18,658 --> 00:20:20,893
on the road
to bigger and better things.
576
00:20:20,927 --> 00:20:23,562
Whenever you do move on,
577
00:20:23,596 --> 00:20:27,066
it should please you
to know that--
578
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,367
God help me--
579
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:31,670
you've built a well-functioning
government agency.
580
00:20:31,704 --> 00:20:32,905
Oh, that reminds me.
581
00:20:32,939 --> 00:20:34,640
I know you don't open
your mail, but I do.
582
00:20:34,674 --> 00:20:37,309
And because you created
Tom's position--
583
00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:38,944
business liaison--
and it's already
584
00:20:38,978 --> 00:20:42,081
financially paying off,
you have received
585
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:44,650
Pawnee's government employee
of the month.
586
00:20:44,684 --> 00:20:47,486
I mean, it has taken--
587
00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:11,805
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com