1 00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:02,836 - MORNING. - HEY. 2 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:05,073 - HEY, CAN YOU APPROVE THIS NEW DESIGN FOR THE CAMPAIGN POSTER? 3 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,708 - OH, ANN, YOU BEAUTIFUL, RULE-BREAKING MOTH. 4 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,578 YOU KNOW WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT MY CAMPAIGN IN HERE. 5 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:11,645 - SERIOUSLY? 6 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,714 IT'S A "YES" OR "NO" QUESTION. 7 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,383 - WHEN YOU'RE RUNNING FOR OFFICE, 8 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,718 THERE ARE, LIKE, A MILLION RULES OF WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO. 9 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:18,619 YES. 10 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,288 AND BECAUSE I WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT, 11 00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,590 I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING CAMPAIGN-RELATED 12 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,492 INSIDE A GOVERNMENT BUILDING. 13 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,227 - BOSS, I NEED YOUR HERBIE HANCOCK ON THIS. 14 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,096 - OUTSIDE. - [sighs] 15 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,263 - IT'S KIND OF A PAIN IN THE ASS. 16 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:32,833 BUT IT'S GREAT EXERCISE... BUT IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS. 17 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,235 - SO PERD HAPLEY WANTS TO DO THURSDAY NOW. 18 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,136 - FINE. 19 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,104 - DID YOU FINISH THE MAINTENANCE REPORT? 20 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,838 - I DID NOT FINISH IT, BUT I WILL FINISH IT. 21 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,839 SO WAIT, WHAT WAS YOUR QUESTION AGAIN? 22 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:39,640 - THE SLOGAN? 23 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:40,841 - OKAY, CAN I JUST COME OUT THERE, 24 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,942 SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING? 25 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,478 - NO, APRIL, I NEED TO KEEP MY WORK SEPARATE, OKAY? 26 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:47,081 JUST THINK OF IT LIKE A FUN GAME. 27 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,383 PARKS IS INSIDE. CAMPAIGN IS OUTSIDE. 28 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,152 PARKS IS INSIDE. CAMPAIGN'S OUTSIDE. 29 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,286 - OOH, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE IT MORE FUN? 30 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,554 - WHAT? - OH, MY GOD, THIS. 31 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,090 - [gasps] 32 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,558 APRIL. 33 00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,628 [triumphant music] 34 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:08,669 * 35 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:18,946 - IT'S TIME, LESLIE. 36 00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:22,283 YOU HAVE TO TAKE A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM THE DEPARTMENT. 37 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,118 - RON, THAT IS RIDICULOUS. 38 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,354 - WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS. - NO, YOU'VE TALKED ABOUT IT, 39 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,156 AND I'VE IGNORED IT, BECAUSE IT IS RIDICULOUS. 40 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,359 NEED I REMIND YOU THAT EVEN IF I WIN THE ELECTION, 41 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,294 I CAN STILL WORK AT THE PARKS DEPARTMENT. 42 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,762 CITY COUNCIL IS A PART-TIME JOB. 43 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,298 - BUT CAMPAIGNING IS A FULL-TIME JOB. 44 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,867 RIGHT NOW YOU'RE WORKING 50 HOURS A WEEK HERE 45 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,735 AND 50 HOURS A WEEK ON THE CAMPAIGN. 46 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,304 - WELL, I HAVE TIME TO SPARE. 47 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,574 I'M ALSO VOLUNTEERING AT "WHEELS FOR MEALS ON WHEELS." 48 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,909 WE REPAIR VANS FOR "MEALS ON WHEELS." 49 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,645 - YOU'RE A MONTH BEHIND ON EVERYTHING. 50 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,182 YOU FORGOT TO FILE THE WEEKLY PARKS MAINTENANCE REPORT. 51 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,350 YOU DO IT EVERY WEEK, AND YOU FORGOT. 52 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:57,585 THINGS ARE FALLING THROUGH THE CRACKS. 53 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,488 I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'VE WORN THAT SWEATER FOUR DAYS IN A ROW. 54 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,391 - OR I OWN FOUR IDENTICAL VERSIONS OF THE SAME SWEATER. 55 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,393 - NO, YOU DON'T, THERE'S AN OLD LOLLIPOP 56 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,694 THAT'S BEEN STUCK TO THE BACK SINCE TUESDAY. 57 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:11,565 - [chuckles] THAT'S THE STYLE NOW, RON. 58 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,634 IT'S CALLED "LOLLIPOPPING." 59 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,369 ALL THE KIDS ARE DOING IT. 60 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,637 - LESLIE, YOU NEED TO TAKE A SABBATICAL. 61 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,272 - OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT, RON? 62 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,273 I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY, 63 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:21,409 I WILL NOT TAKE A SABBATICAL, AS WE AGREED, 64 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,478 AND WE WILL NEVER DISCUSS THIS AGAIN. 65 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:27,681 - SORRY, ANN. YOU CAN'T OPEN THIS GIFT. 66 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,350 IT'S FOR THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN PAWNEE. 67 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,785 [gasps] HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP. 68 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:37,591 HOLD UP, HOLD UP, WAIT. THAT'S YOU. 69 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,826 WOW. 70 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,229 - YEAH, AND LOOK, I GOT ONE TOO. 71 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,230 MATCHING HIS AND HERS. 72 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,565 - SO I'M "TOMMY'S GIRL," AND YOU'RE JUST "TOM"? 73 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,267 WHY NOT "ANN'S MAN"? 74 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,736 - [chuckles] NOBODY OWNS ME, CUPCAKE, NOT EVEN YOU. 75 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,305 - YOU CAN EITHER BURN THESE HATS IN A FIRE, 76 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,840 OR YOU CAN USE A BLOWTORCH. 77 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,742 - HOW ABOUT THIS OPTION? 78 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,744 WE PUT THE HATS ON-- - DON'T SAY IT. 79 00:02:56,777 --> 00:03:01,282 - WE TAKE EVERYTHING ELSE OFF. 80 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,984 THESE KANGOL HATS ARE EXACTLY LIKE THE ONE 81 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,420 SAMUEL L. JACKSON WORE TO THE LATIN GRAMMYS. 82 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,289 HOW COULD SHE NOT LIKE THEM? - I DON'T KNOW. 83 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,259 - IT'S LIKE SOMEHOW EVERYTHING I DO WITH HER IS WRONG. 84 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:14,328 - DUDE, SERIOUSLY, LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS. 85 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,329 I KIND OF SET UP TOM AND ANN, 86 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,698 AND NOW THEY WON'T STOP ASKING ME FOR ADVICE, 87 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,867 WHICH IS A REALLY BAD MOVE ON THEIR PART, 88 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:23,871 BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM... 89 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,639 OR ANYONE. 90 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:26,640 [knock at door] 91 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,976 - CHAMPION! HEY, BUD. 92 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,611 I MISSED YOU. 93 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,280 THANK YOU SO MUCH. I HOPE HE WASN'T A HANDFUL. 94 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,781 - NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST. 95 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:38,252 AS THE GERMANS WOULD SAY, "ER IST EIN WUNDER HUND." 96 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:40,254 HE IS A WONDER DOG. - OH. 97 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:41,255 - THE DOG TRAINING COURSE I TOOK 98 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,456 WAS CONDUCTED ENTIRELY IN GERMAN, 99 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,825 AND SO NOW I'M FLUENT IN GERMAN... 100 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,394 WORDS RELATING TO DOGS. 101 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:47,995 - APRIL AND ANDY WENT AWAY FOR THE NIGHT, 102 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,398 AND I LOOKED AFTER CHAMPION HERE. 103 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,432 HE'S A MUTT. 104 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:54,535 HALF AMAZING, HALF TERRIFIC. 105 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,838 ICH BIN EIN THREE-LEGGED DOG. 106 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,307 WELL, I TOOK HIM TO PETSMART. 107 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,008 I GOT HIM VARIOUS TOYS, 108 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,278 GOT HIM SHOTS, GOT HIM GROOMED, AND GAVE HIM PLENTY OF EXERCISE. 109 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:05,279 HE'S HEALTHIER THAN EVER. 110 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,448 - WAIT, DID HIS LEG GROW BACK? 111 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,817 AW, NO, NO. THAT'S OKAY. 112 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,352 - ANDY, IF I MAY-- - YES. 113 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,421 - DOGS TEND TO TAKE ON THE PERSONALITIES 114 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,888 OF THEIR OWNERS-- - MM-HMM. 115 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,624 - SO IF YOU WERE TO SIT ON YOUR COUCH ALL DAY 116 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,626 WATCHING CARTOONS AND EATING NOTHING BUT CHEETOS, 117 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,627 THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD WANT TO DO TOO. 118 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,494 - [chuckles] WHO WOULDN'T? 119 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,696 THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN AMAZING DAY, RIGHT? 120 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:25,299 OKAY, WELL, THANKS. - [sighs] 121 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,034 BYE, CHAMPION. 122 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,702 - MORNING, LESLIE. 123 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,671 - [laughs] JERRY, TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. 124 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:31,872 YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS. 125 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:36,677 - GAYLE GAVE ME THIS SHIRT YESTERDAY AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT. 126 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,446 - OH, MY GOD, JERRY. 127 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,381 I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY. 128 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,715 - LESLIE, IT IS OKAY. 129 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,551 I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT, IT'S A TOUGH ONE TO REMEMBER. 130 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,019 MY BIRTHDAY IS FEBRUARY 29th, 131 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,889 SO I ONLY GET ONE REAL BIRTHDAY, YOU KNOW, ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS. 132 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,325 BUT IT'S GREAT BECAUSE MY WIFE GAYLE 133 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:52,493 MAKES SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT. 134 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,061 WE GO, WE SPLIT A HUGE PIECE 135 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,329 OF COTTON CANDY CHEESECAKE 136 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,997 FROM CAKEY J'S CHEESECAKE FACILITY. 137 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,933 AND THEN, WELL, WE HOLD HANDS FOR A WHILE. 138 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,069 WE LISTEN TO SOME ANITA BAKER. 139 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:05,773 SHE MEETS UP WITH SOME FRIENDS, AND I TURN IN EARLY. 140 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,342 - THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. BIRTHDAYS ARE IMPORTANT. 141 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,377 I'M SO SORRY WE FORGOT YOURS. 142 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:12,045 - I GUESS IT JUST SLIPPED THROUGH THE CRACKS. 143 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:14,448 - YES, I GUESS IT DID. 144 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:17,117 ANYWAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JERRY. 145 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,119 YOU ARE A KIND AND WONDERFUL SOUL. 146 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,253 - THANK YOU. 147 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,523 - ALSO I NEED YOU TO DO SOME FECAL CONTAMINATION TESTING 148 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,091 AT THE RESERVOIR. - NOW? 149 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,659 - YES, GO GET A KIT FROM MAINTENANCE, 150 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,094 AND I NEED YOU TO CHECK THE WATER FOR BIRD DUNG. 151 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,529 - CAN I AT LEAST GRAB THE GLOVES? 152 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:29,830 - JERRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING HERE? 153 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:33,033 OUR WATER HAS POOP IN IT. - OH, MY GOD. 154 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,803 - NOW JERRY IS TURNING 64 THIS YEAR. 155 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,639 - HE'S ONLY 64? - 64 DIVIDED BY 4 IS-- 156 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,040 - 16. - 64. 157 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:43,110 - SO WE'RE GONNA THROW HIM A SWEET 16 SURPRISE PARTY. 158 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,812 IT'S GONNA BE VERY SPECIAL. 159 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:48,048 - THE USUAL, CAKE AND POP? - NO, APRIL, THE UNUSUAL. 160 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,050 - FISH AND POP. - NO. 161 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,052 - CAKE AND FISH. - NO, NO FISH. 162 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:55,088 JERRY ONLY GETS A REAL BIRTHDAY EVERY FOUR YEARS. 163 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,524 AND FOUR YEARS FROM NOW, WHO KNOWS? 164 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,059 HE MIGHT BE RETIRED... OR DEAD. 165 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,428 - LET'S START A POOL. 166 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,529 WHO WANTS RETIED? WHO WANTS DEAD? 167 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,530 - DEAD. - NO. 168 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,064 - I GOT ONE DEAD. - NO. 169 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:04,898 [cell phone rings] 170 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,967 - YOU NEED TO TAKE THAT? - MM, NO. 171 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,503 THE CAMPAIGN CAN WAIT, 'CAUSE THIS IS OFFICIAL PARKS BUSINESS. 172 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,872 DONNA, CAN WE USE YOUR LAKE HOUSE? 173 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,541 - HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? 174 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,443 MY FAMILY HAS A LAKE HOUSE UP IN THE FOOTHILLS, 175 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,077 BUT WE KEEP IT QUIET. 176 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:20,013 WE'RE NOT BIG ON HOSPITALITY. 177 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,149 THE MEAGLES ARE A COLD PEOPLE. 178 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,684 - CAN WE USE YOUR HOUSE? 179 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,720 - I SUPPOSE. 180 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,422 BRING YOUR OWN TOWELS. 181 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,157 - WOW, DONNA. 182 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:32,125 THIS PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL. 183 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,895 - YES, IT IS, AND IT WILL STAY THAT WAY. 184 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,598 THESE ARE THE HOUSE RULES. NO DIRTY SHOES IN THE HOUSE. 185 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,033 UPSTAIRS IS MEAGLE SPACE ONLY. 186 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:44,171 AND IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY, THAT IS THE BUBBLING OF THE HOT TUB. 187 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,973 YOU DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO IT. 188 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:50,110 IF YOU FOLLOW THESE RULES, WE WON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. 189 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,680 - OH, MY GOD. 190 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,816 IS THAT GINUWINE? - MM-HMM. 191 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,651 - WHY DO YOU HAVE GINUWINE'S PLATINUM RECORD 192 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,086 ON YOUR WALL? 193 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:02,490 WHY DO YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU WITH GINUWINE AT SOME PLACE? 194 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,092 - OH, HAVE I NEVER TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE? 195 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,226 GINUWINE'S MY COUSIN. 196 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,629 - GINUWINE? 197 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:11,799 THEGINUWINE IS YOUR COUSIN? 198 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,233 HOW DO I NOT KNOW THIS? 199 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,670 - WHO'S GINUWINE? 200 00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:20,140 - GINUWINE? 201 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:24,745 GINUWINE IS GINUWINE. HE'S GINUWINE. 202 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,614 - SAYING HIS NAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS NOT GOING TO HELP ME. 203 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,148 - HE'S AN R&B SINGER. 204 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,551 PONY, DIFFERENCES. 205 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,720 DO YOU REALLY NOT KNOW WHO GINUWINE IS? 206 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,187 - I KNOW THAT HE'S DONNA'S COUSIN. 207 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:37,057 - WHEN I'M DATING SOMEONE, I HAVE A LIST 208 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,692 CALLED MY "OH-NO-NOS." 209 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:41,595 A WOMAN COMMITS AN "OH-NO-NO," IT CAN END THE RELATIONSHIP. 210 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,498 NOT LOVING '90s R&B MUSIC 211 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:48,736 IS NUMBER THREE ON THE "OH-NO-NOS" LIST. 212 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,638 GIRL DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO GINUWINE IS. 213 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,205 - HEY, BOY. HOW WAS THE RIDE? 214 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,775 OH, HEY, YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING? 215 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,976 - OKAY. 216 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,545 - [speaks German] - [barks] 217 00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,881 - [speaking German] 218 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,017 SEE, IT'S PRETTY COOL, HUH? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TEACH YOU? 219 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,854 - UH, WHATEVER. I MEAN, ANYBODY CAN DO THAT. 220 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:12,225 [speaking gibberish] 221 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,162 TOXIC. MERKEL. 222 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,830 MERKEL. WHAT IS "MERKEL"? 223 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,166 - SHE'S THE CHANCELLOR OF GERMANY. 224 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:22,035 - NOT ONLY MORE JOBS BUT BETTER JOBS. 225 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:25,305 I JUST DID A PHONE INTERVIEW WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY 226 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,041 DECORATING THIS HOUSE FOR JERRY'S SURPRISE PARTY. 227 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:31,612 TOTALLY MULTITASKING, TOTALLY ON TOP OF ALL OF IT. 228 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,782 CROW FOR DINNER TONIGHT, MR. SWANSON? 229 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:37,050 OKAY, WE ARE LOCKED AND LOADED. 230 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,919 MUSIC IS READY. SLIDESHOW IS PREPPED. 231 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,288 APRIL, WHEN DOES JERRY ARRIVE? - HOW WOULD I KNOW? 232 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,123 - WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO INVITE JERRY? 233 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,326 GUYS, SOMEONE WAS SUPPOSED TO INVITE JERRY. 234 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,729 IT'S HIS SURP-- 235 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,265 CRAP, IT WAS ME. I FORGOT TO INVITE JERRY. 236 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,070 - YOU NEED TO TAKE A SABBATICAL. 237 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,305 - I'M NOT TAKING A SABBATICAL. 238 00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,506 IS THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT TO INVITE JERRY 239 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,943 TO HIS OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY? - IT DID SEEM LIKE AN OVERSIGHT. 240 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,912 - I HAVE A PREDICTION, RON. BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, 241 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,847 YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE A BITE OF JERRY'S CAKE, 242 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,783 WHICH INCIDENTALLY, WE NEED TO PICK UP ON THE WAY HOME, 243 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,621 AND YOU ARE GONNA SAY, "SABBATICAL, SCHMABBATICAL. 244 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,156 LESLIE CAN DO IT ALL. SHE'S THE BEST, AND I'M STUPID." 245 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:19,292 - THAT DOES SOUND LIKE ME. 246 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:22,863 - HEY. HERE'S A FUN GAME. 247 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,066 LET'S TALK MINIMUM ACCEPTABLE THREAD COUNT FOR SHEETS. 248 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,002 - OOH, THAT DOES SOUND FUN. - STOP ME WHEN I HIT IT. 249 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,772 1,000... 250 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,006 800... 251 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,176 700... 252 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,679 600? 253 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,781 ANN, I'M AT 600. ARE YOU REALLY NOT STOPPING ME? 254 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,382 - I HAVE THOSE COTTON T-SHIRT SHEETS. 255 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,384 - HUH? 256 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,253 IT'S ALWAYS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LADIES 257 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,789 WHO HURT YOU THE WORST. 258 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,291 SHE'S NEVER SEEN A SINGLE PAUL WALKER MOVIE? 259 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,726 THAT'S A HUGE "OH-NO-NO." 260 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,796 SHE ALSO "DOESN'T CARE" ABOUT BLU-RAY? 261 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,165 - SHE'S A MONSTER. - APRIL, THIS IS SERIOUS. 262 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,967 I MIGHT HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH ANN. 263 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,835 - YEAH, WELL, THEN BREAK UP WITH HER. 264 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,704 - [sighs] BUT SHE'S MY DREAM GIRL. 265 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:04,571 - THEN DON'T BREAK UP WITH HER. 266 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,139 - EXCEPT SHE HATES EVERYTHING I LIKE. 267 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,876 I OWN MORE PAIRS OF UGGS THAN SHE DOES. 268 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,178 - I WAS GETTING KIND OF SICK OF LISTENING 269 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,714 TO TOM AND ANN TALK ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP, 270 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:19,119 BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT ALCOHOL EXISTED. 271 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:22,389 THANK YOU, ALCOHOL. 272 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:23,957 [knock at door] 273 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,793 JERRY? JERRY. 274 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,861 [scoffs] WHERE THE HELL COULD HE BE? 275 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,663 - MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE HAD A SURPRISE PARTY 276 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:30,831 AND ACTUALLY REMEMBERED TO INVITE HIM. 277 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,767 [alarm beeps] 278 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:34,768 - JERRY? 279 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,770 JERRY. 280 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:37,905 JERRY? 281 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,941 JERRY! - COME ON IN. 282 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,176 - [gasps] OH, GOD. - LESLIE. 283 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,778 - HELLO, JERRY. 284 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,214 - JERRY, WHY DID YOU CALL US IN HERE? 285 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,916 - WELL, BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GAYLE. 286 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,417 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM? 287 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,386 - YES, LESLIE, WHAT ARE WE DOING IN JERRY'S BATHROOM? 288 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,723 - THERE IS A PARKS EMERGENCY 289 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,825 THAT ONLY YOU CAN HELP US SOLVE, 290 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,392 SO WE NEED YOU TO GET OUT OF THE TUB. 291 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,293 LET'S GET GOING. 292 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:03,230 - O-OKAY, JES--W-- I GOTTA GET DRESSED. 293 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,132 - NO, THERE'S NO TIME. - THERE'S TIME, JERRY. 294 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,767 GET DRESSED. - [groans] 295 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,702 - OKAY, WELL, WHAT IS THE BIG EMERGENCY? 296 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:11,238 OH, DID WE LOSE MORE SENIORS IN THE WOODS? 297 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,439 NO, IT'S A SINKHOLE, RIGHT? 298 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,441 - CRAP ON A CATAPULT. 299 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:17,010 THEY SCREWED UP MY CAMPAIGN SIGNS. 300 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:17,845 NOW I GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS. 301 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,079 - OKAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SINKHOLE? 302 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:22,883 - DON'T WORRY, LESLIE WILL DEAL WITH THIS AND THE SINKHOLE. 303 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,018 RIGHT, LESLIE? 304 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,054 - YES, RON. I WILL, RON. 305 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,757 AND I SHALL DO IT WITH APLOMB. 306 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,759 - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH TOM? 307 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,060 - DON'T KNOW. 308 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,929 - IT'S LIKE I'M DATING SOME IDIOTIC GAME SHOW HOST. 309 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,932 HE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY WITH THESE STUPID QUESTIONS. 310 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:39,967 - WELL, SOON IT WON'T MATTER. 311 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,435 - WHY? WHAT DID HE TELL YOU? 312 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:43,336 - NOTHING. 313 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,406 - WAIT, IS HE GONNA BREAK UP WITH ME? 314 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,375 - I DON'T KNOW. I'M-- 315 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,811 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO. 316 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,245 THAT'S NOT HOW THIS ENDS, OKAY? 317 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,848 I BREAK UP WITH HIM. 318 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:58,786 - I THINK I WILL CELEBRATE WITH A DRINK. 319 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,054 - QUIT PULLING. 320 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:04,024 FINE, I'LL LET YOU OFF THE LEASH. 321 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,492 - ANDY. - WHAT THE [bleep], DUDE? 322 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:06,559 WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? 323 00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,361 - I THINK THAT CHAMPION SHOULD STAY ON HIS LEASH. 324 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,064 THERE'S UNFAMILIAR TERRAIN AND STRANGE SMELLS. 325 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,000 - NO, LEASHES ARE JUST FOR DOGS THAT BITE PEOPLE. 326 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,334 - THAT'S NOT TRUE. 327 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:17,304 - CHRIS, CHAMPION'S MY DOG, OKAY? 328 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,906 HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 329 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,775 SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LET A DOG BE A DOG. 330 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,811 HE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 331 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:27,848 CHAMPION! 332 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,183 HE'LL COME BACK. 333 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,519 - SO AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, WE WOULD NEVER HAVE ORDERED 334 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,855 A SIGN WITH ALL THIS COMPLICATED NONSENSE 335 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:37,090 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT INSANE. 336 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,026 - SEE RIGHT HERE ON THE ORDER FORM? 337 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,862 IT SAYS, "HTTP://--" - MM-HMM. 338 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,364 - "WWW.KNOPE2012--" - I CAN READ THE SIGN. 339 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,800 - IT DOES. - ".COM/IMAGESCMYK/--" 340 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:51,104 - WELL, BUT THIS ISN'T WHAT-- - "PAGE/CAMPAIGN/QTY100123--" 341 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,272 - YOU DON'T NEED TO READ THE WHOLE THING. 342 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,241 - "9U/09230023--" - MM-HMM. 343 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,809 - "099TWPOSTER--" 344 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,846 - IT DOES SAY THAT. - ".JPEG." 345 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,547 - JPEG. YES, WALTER, IT DOES SAY THAT. 346 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:04,351 YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT USING BASIC LOGIC AND HUMAN INTELLIGENCE, 347 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:08,121 ONE CAN SURMISE THAT THIS IS A LINK TO AN IMAGE. 348 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,390 THIS ISN'T WHAT WE WANTED PRINTED ON THE SIGNS. 349 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,025 - WHATEVER'S ON THE ORDER FORM I PRINT. 350 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:15,262 IN THIS CASE, IT WAS A LONG STRING OF LETTERS AND NUMBERS. 351 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,030 - CAN I JUST SH--SHOW YOU SOMETHING HERE? THERE YOU GO. 352 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,231 - THAT'S HIGHLY AGAINST PROTOCOL. 353 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,900 - WELL, HERE, LOOK. 354 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,202 - THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. 355 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,271 YOU SHOULD'VE USED THAT. 356 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,874 - YOU TOLD APRIL YOU WERE BREAKING UP WITH ME? 357 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:30,010 - ANN, WE CONSISTENTLY DISAGREE ON "WHO WORE IT BEST." 358 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,112 YOU STILL USE AN iPAD ONE. 359 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,882 YOU READ BOOKS ALL THE TIME. 360 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,250 - OKAY, HOW ABOUT MY "OH-NO-NOS" FOR YOU? 361 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:40,087 YOU MAKE ME SEE TERRIBLE MOVIES, AND THEN YOU TALK THROUGH THEM. 362 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,390 YOU PUT 20" RIMS ON YOUR VOLKSWAGEN GOLF, 363 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,425 AND YOU INSIST ON BEING INTRODUCED 364 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,060 AS "THE BROWN GOSLING." 365 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:50,597 - EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID MAKES ME LIKE ME MORE. 366 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,533 - I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, OKAY? I'M BREAKING YOU UP. 367 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,601 YOU GUYS ARE DONE. 368 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,604 - FINE WITH ME. - FINE, FINE. 369 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,539 - OH, APRIL. - I'M DRUNK. 370 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:03,543 YOU MADE ME DRUNK, YOU MADE ME DRUNK, AND YOU-- 371 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,613 - NO, NO. GIVE IT A REST. - [grunts] I NEED IT. 372 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,614 - OKAY. - FINE. 373 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,715 - LET'S GET YOU TO BED. 374 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,617 - YOU KNOW, WHY ARE YOU GUYS EVEN FIGHTING ANYWAY? 375 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:11,584 IT'S SO STUPID. 376 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:14,121 "I HATE ANN BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID REASON." 377 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,555 "AND I HATE TOM FOR THIS STUPID REASON." 378 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,423 WHO CARES? 379 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,226 - YOU WANT SOME HELP? - NO, I GOT IT. 380 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,494 WELL, WE DID EVERYTHING, RON. WE GOT NEW SIGNS. 381 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,595 WE PUT THEM IN PEOPLE'S YARDS. 382 00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,933 WE GOT JERRY FOR THE SURPRISE-- SINKHOLE EMERGENCY. 383 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,001 AND, UH, WE BRIEFLY RAN OUT OF GAS, 384 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,169 AND THEN WE WALKED TO THE GAS STATION. 385 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,971 WE GOT MORE GAS, AND NOW WE'RE ALL GOOD. 386 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,339 - YEP, YOU TRULY ARE ATTEMPTING TO DO IT ALL. 387 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,974 - THANK YOU. 388 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,675 - WE DIDN'T GET TO THE DRUG STORE FOR MY LIVER MEDICATION. 389 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,676 - WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT 390 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,678 BEFORE WE DRAGGED YOU OUT OF THE BATH, JERRY. 391 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,280 - YEAH. 392 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,315 OKAY, WAIT A SECOND. 393 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,650 THIS IS CLEARLY NOT A SINKHOLE PROBLEM. 394 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:44,551 WHAT'S GOING ON? 395 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,619 - JERRY, AS SOON AS WE OPEN THIS DOOR, 396 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:51,358 EVERYTHING WILL BECOME CLEAR. 397 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,525 SURPRISE! 398 00:14:52,559 --> 00:15:00,667 OH, WHAT THE [bleep]? 399 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,535 - WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY? - WELL, IT GOT SO LATE. 400 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,471 WE JUST WEREN'T SURE YOU WERE STILL COMING. 401 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:08,108 EVERYBODY'S EITHER IN BED OR OUT LOOKING FOR CHAMPION. 402 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,376 OH, YEAH. CHAMPION RAN AWAY. 403 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,311 - WAKE EVERYBODY UP. - LESLIE. 404 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,645 - NO, I AM NOT GONNA LET THIS FALL APART. 405 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:13,981 WE ARE GONNA THROW JERRY 406 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:16,716 AN AMAZING SWEET 16 SURPRISE PARTY 407 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,287 NO MATTER HOW AGONIZING IT IS FOR ALL OF US. 408 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,389 - THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 409 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,324 - CHAMPION. - CHAMPION! 410 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,626 CHAMPION, COME HERE, BOY. 411 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,962 I HAVE AN ORGANIC, GLUTEN-FREE SOY BONE FOR YOU. 412 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,663 CHAMPION! 413 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,633 - CHRIS, THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 414 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,669 I ATE ONE OF YOUR SOY BONES. - REALLY? 415 00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,171 - YEAH, IT WAS REALLY GOOD. 416 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,973 I WAS GONNA GIVE IT TO CHAMPION, 417 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:42,575 BUT IT JUST-- IT LOOKED SO YUMMY. 418 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:46,046 THE POINT IS, I'M A TERRIBLE DOG OWNER. 419 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,747 AND I THINK, IF WE FIND CHAMPION, 420 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,149 YOU SHOULD KEEP HIM. 421 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:53,153 - ANDY, IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU AND APRIL, 422 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,687 CHAMPION WOULD STILL BE BACK AT THE POUND. 423 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:57,657 YOU GAVE HIM A HOME. THAT'S AMAZING. 424 00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,093 AND HE'S YOUR DOG. 425 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,995 IF YOU JUST CALL OUT HIS NAME, HE WILL COME TO YOU. 426 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,763 - WHAT--NO, HE WON'T 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN TRYING IT, 427 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,765 AND IT DIDN'T WORK. 428 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,567 - I THINK HE LIKES YOUR MUSIC. 429 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,601 WHY DON'T YOU SING TO HIM? 430 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,203 - REALLY? I DON'T HAVE MY GUITAR. 431 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,671 I USUALLY-- - COME ON. 432 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:15,742 - [whispers] I FEEL NAKED WITHOUT IT, OKAY. 433 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:20,613 * CHAMPION, YOU'RE LOST 434 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,715 * AND SOON YOU'LL BE FOUND * 435 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:27,687 * I RESCUED YOU FROM THE POUND, 436 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,422 * SOMETHING SOMETHING 437 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,524 * OH MAN 438 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:33,626 * ON THE GROUND 439 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,263 * GET ON OUT OF HERE 440 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:37,264 CHAMPION! 441 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,632 CHAMPION, HEY! 442 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,334 OH, BUDDY, YOU CAME BACK. 443 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,071 YOU CAME BACK TO MY VOICE. 444 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,773 - DOG WHISTLE. 445 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,708 - APRIL, WAKE UP. - JERRY'S HERE. 446 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,043 - [groans] - APRIL. 447 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,211 - APRIL. - HEY. 448 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,414 - HI. - HI. 449 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,450 - WHY IS YOUR ARM AROUND HER? I BROKE YOU UP. 450 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,352 - WELL, WE GOT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN 'CAUSE OF WHAT YOU SAID. 451 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,188 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 452 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,622 - YEAH, WHEN WE WERE CARRYING YOU TO BED, 453 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,125 YOU CORRECTLY POINTED OUT THAT WE WERE ARGUING ABOUT STUFF 454 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,127 THAT WAS STUPID, AND SO WE TALKED IT OUT. 455 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,162 AND I APOLOGIZED, AND HE APOLOGIZED. 456 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,397 AND NOW EVERYTHING'S GREAT. 457 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,598 - THANKS. - NO. 458 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:14,701 I'M DRUNK. DON'T LISTEN TO ME, NO. 459 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,736 - SEE YOU OUT THERE. - NO. 460 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,838 - WHOA, THANKS, GUYS. THIS IS REALLY-- 461 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,672 THIS IS REALLY GREAT. 462 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,775 - OKAY, I WANT EVERYONE TO GO AROUND 463 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,744 AND TELL THEIR FAVORITE JERRY STORY. 464 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,246 - [laughs] 465 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:30,583 - A POSITIVE ONE. 466 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,652 WHO'S FIRST? 467 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,622 - JERRY, TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY, 468 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,258 BUT IT'S ABOUT MUCH MORE THAN THAT. 469 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,494 IT'S ALSO ABOUT ANN AND I GETTING BACK TOGETHER 470 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,763 AND BEING THE HOTTEST COUPLE IN PAWNEE. 471 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:44,697 I'D ALSO LIKE TO ANNOUNCE 472 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:48,135 OUR OFFICIAL RELATIONSHIP MASH-UP NAME. 473 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,437 IT'S "TAN." TO TAN. 474 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,672 - I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT 475 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,774 THE NAME TAN IS OFFICIALLY OVER. 476 00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,343 TO THE END OF TAN. 477 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:59,112 - HAVERKINS IT IS. - OKAY, DONNA? 478 00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,848 - I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS THE FACT THAT RULE NUMBER SEVEN 479 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:05,785 SAYS, "NO PETS," AND YET THERE IS A THREE-LEGGED ANIMAL 480 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:06,786 IN MY LIVING ROOM. - OKAY, RON. 481 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:10,857 - JERRY'S WORK IS OFTEN ADEQUATE. 482 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,897 - I'LL GO. 483 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,700 JERRY HAS A WIFE 484 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,270 AND THREE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS-- A FULL LIFE-- 485 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:24,637 AND THAT'S AMAZING. 486 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,740 APRIL AND ANDY HAVE CHAMPION, AND THAT'S AMAZING. 487 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:31,211 I HAVE A STEPBROTHER WHO LIVES IN LONDON 488 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,813 AND 2.8% BODY FAT. 489 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,587 - WHAT DO I DO? 490 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,621 - I MEAN, SHE'S ASLEEP. 491 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,523 YOU PROBABLY SHOULD JUST SIT THERE AND NOT MOVE. 492 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:46,293 - SHE'S REALLY TIRED. JUST A FEW HOURS. 493 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,527 - FEW HOURS? 494 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,730 - IS THIS ALL THE EGGS WE HAVE? 495 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,733 - YES. WHAT ARE YOU MAKING? 496 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:54,767 - EGGS. 497 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:58,238 [birds chirping] 498 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,540 - LESLIE. - SURPRISE! 499 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,610 OH, GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? 500 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:08,748 - WELL, YOU SLEPT WITH JERRY LAST NIGHT. 501 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,818 - NO, I WAS PLANNING JERRY'S MORNING SURPRISE PARTY. 502 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,753 MORNING SURPRISE PARTIES ARE ALWAYS THE BEST. 503 00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,188 LET'S GET GOING. - I MADE SOME COFFEE. 504 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:18,558 LET'S GO FOR A WALK. 505 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,428 I NOW OFFICIALLY INSIST THAT YOU TAKE A SABBATICAL. 506 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,862 - NO, NO. - LET ME FINISH. 507 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:27,734 I USED TO WORK IN A SHEET METAL FACTORY, 508 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:31,471 BUT THEN A JOB CAME ALONG AT THE TANNERY. 509 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,873 THE HOURS WERE BETTER, AND I WOULD GET PAID. 510 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,276 ALSO I'D HAVE THE CHANCE TO WORK WITH LEATHER 511 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,977 BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER IT WAS ON THE COW, 512 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,647 WHICH HAD ALWAYS BEEN A DREAM OF MINE. 513 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,715 I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE UP MY SHEET METAL JOB, 514 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:45,652 SO I TRIED TO DO BOTH JOBS AND FINISH MIDDLE SCHOOL. 515 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:46,886 - HOW OLD WERE YOU? 516 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,755 - 11. 517 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,791 THE POINT IS, I WAS SO TIRED, 518 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,494 I TRIED TO PUNCTURE AN EIGHT-GAUGE ALUMINUM FOIL 519 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,796 WITH A LEATHER AWL. [laughs] 520 00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:59,699 - WOW. - I LEARNED A LESSON. 521 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,669 NEVER HALF-ASS TWO THINGS. 522 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,804 WHOLE-ASS ONE THING. 523 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,873 SO IF YOU WANT TO WIN THAT SEAT-- 524 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:07,774 - WHICH I DO. 525 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:11,844 - THEN COMMIT YOURSELF 100%. 526 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,380 TAKE A SABBATICAL. 527 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:16,916 - I WILL CUT BACK TO 10 HOURS A WEEK. 528 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,719 - DEAL. 529 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:26,326 - 15. - 10. 530 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,927 - UGH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT THEM BACK TOGETHER. 531 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,396 NOW THEY'RE ALWAYS GONNA WANT TO COME TALK TO ME ABOUT STUFF. 532 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,830 - EH, THAT'S A GOOD THING, BABE. 533 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:33,333 THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE IMPORTANT TO THEM. 534 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,568 - YES, BUT I HATE THEM. 535 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:36,969 - I KNOW YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 536 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,671 OH, HEY, UH, BY THE WAY, 537 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,673 I THINK THAT CHRIS IS LONELY, SO I TOLD HIM HE COULD BORROW 538 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:41,674 CHAMPION WHENEVER. 539 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:45,378 - [laughs] 540 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:48,315 ANDY, HE'S KISSING ME. - AWW. 541 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,683 - JERRY, I WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY 542 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,419 THAT I SCREWED UP YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY. 543 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,354 - OH, THAT'S OKAY. - BUT WE ALL PITCHED IN. 544 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:57,056 AND WE ARE SENDING YOU AND GAYLE TO A B&B 545 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,525 IN YOUR FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD. 546 00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,026 - MUNCIE? 547 00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:04,364 - AMAZINGLY, YES. MUNCIE, INDIANA. 548 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,898 - [sighs] THANK YOU, GUYS. - IT WAS REALLY EXPENSIVE. 549 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:06,899 [cell phone rings] 550 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:10,069 - OH, CAMPAIGN. - TAKE IT. 551 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,538 [cell phone continues ringing] 552 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:17,510 - EXCUSE ME. 553 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,512 [indistinct chatter] 554 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:22,315 THIS IS LESLIE.