1 00:00:00,406 --> 00:00:02,516 I will a reduction in taxes 2 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:04,103 For the small-business owner 3 00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:06,538 as well as a 7% surcharge 4 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:10,109 on all non-local business-related development. 5 00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:14,012 Together we will build a better Pawnee. 6 00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:16,615 So what we're looking for here 7 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,485 are your overall impressions of this candidate. 8 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,204 What do you like about her? What don't you like about her? 9 00:00:22,238 --> 00:00:24,623 Her ideas, her voice, her clothes probably. 10 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,892 Well, my campaign has a little momentum, 11 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:30,362 so we're trying to capitalize on that by doing a focus group. 12 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:33,865 Some things are very helpful. Other things are not so helpful. 13 00:00:33,883 --> 00:00:37,836 All the things make me feel a lot of feelings about myself. 14 00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:39,905 She's kinda short, don't you think? 15 00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:41,206 Aggressively short almost. 16 00:00:41,224 --> 00:00:42,341 It's like she's throwing it in my face. 17 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,676 Insightful. 18 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,478 You, sir, said you would not vote for her, correct? 19 00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:49,181 Yeah. Yeah, she seems a little uptight. 20 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,566 She doesn't seem like 21 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,652 the kind of person you could go bowling with, you know? 22 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:54,653 What? That's ridiculous. 23 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,356 I am excellent at bowling. Ask Ron. 24 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,425 Leslie, I know it's tough to hear these things, 25 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:02,244 but just try not to get obsessed over one comment. 26 00:01:02,278 --> 00:01:04,863 You're totally right. I'm not obsessing. 27 00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:06,064 Okay, what aou doing? 28 00:01:06,082 --> 00:01:07,533 I'm just reminding myself to tell Ron 29 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,751 to tell you how good I am at bowling. 30 00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:09,901 All right. 31 00:01:09,919 --> 00:01:11,370 I actually thought that she was smart, 32 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,839 and I'd vote for her. There you go. 33 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:16,592 Although I once knew a Leslie, and, uh, she was just awful. 34 00:01:16,626 --> 00:01:18,877 So now I hate all Leslies. 35 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,046 Would she consider changing her name? 36 00:01:21,073 --> 00:01:22,675 [Triumphant music] 37 00:01:22,689 --> 00:01:24,767 Sync and Corrections by 5APOLLO & UV 0 www.addic7ed.com 38 00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:30,777 ♪ 39 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,202 Okay, here we go. 40 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,471 71% said that you have a strong command of the issues. 41 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:48,440 That is good, but only 33% 42 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:50,209 said that they would consider voting for you. 43 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,377 Mm, yeah, that's really interesting stuff. 44 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:52,444 Why did that guy say that he 45 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:53,612 wouldn't want to go bowling with me? 46 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:55,748 You really have to let that go. 47 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,483 I've never been very good at letting things go. 48 00:01:57,517 --> 00:02:01,019 I can't tell you how many times a fun tug-of-war with a dog 49 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,288 over a chew toy turned contentious. 50 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,758 One of us always ends up mad. 51 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,643 I did some research too about the guy who said the thing 52 00:02:07,677 --> 00:02:09,645 about me and bowling, and his name is Derek. 53 00:02:09,679 --> 00:02:11,063 Oh, my God. 54 00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,964 And get this... he's not even that good of a bowler. 55 00:02:12,982 --> 00:02:14,132 His average is 132, 56 00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:15,768 according to the most recent available data. 57 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,637 Leslie, that comment 58 00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:21,106 wasn't really about whether you're good at bowling... 59 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,409 - which I am. Ask Ron. - Which we all know you are. 60 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:24,943 But some people have the impression 61 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,446 that you're a little elitist or intellectual or something. 62 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,948 That is so sexist. It's just because I'm a woman. 63 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,551 Would they deign to say such things 64 00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:34,720 to Woodrow Wilson or Benjamin Disraeli... 65 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,288 okay, I see what you're talking about. 66 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,322 See, a lot of people don't vote with their brains. 67 00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:38,690 They vote with their guts. 68 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,092 I know you're fun, and you can have a good time. 69 00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:42,461 The public needs to see that. 70 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:46,298 Well, then maybe the campaign should host a bowling night. 71 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,133 - Hmm. - It would be laid-back. 72 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,935 Everyone having fun, great photo op. 73 00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,103 That could actually work. 74 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,204 Also I'm really good at bowling. 75 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,856 No, I don't think I believe you. 76 00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:54,973 Is there anyone I can ask? 77 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,608 Yeah. Ask Ron. 78 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:59,778 Oh, okay. You're kidding. 79 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,346 All right, it is time 80 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,032 for the 12th Leslie Knope Fundraising Phone Bank. 81 00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:05,717 Is everybody feeling good? 82 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,736 Oh, I don't know, Jerry. It's Sunday night, 83 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:09,354 I'm making phone calls to strangers, 84 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,323 and you're in my house. 85 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:12,658 My life couldn't be worse. 86 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,992 Hey! 87 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,694 Let's get this phone party started. 88 00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:17,863 - No. - Sorry I'm late, guys. 89 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,197 I know this kind of thing 90 00:03:19,215 --> 00:03:20,916 can be a grind, but Ben said that this 91 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,702 is the most important thing we can do to help Leslie. 92 00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:25,871 So tonight is going to be fun. 93 00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:28,974 You're probably thinking, how could it possibly be fun? 94 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,679 - No one's thinking that. - I kinda was. 95 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,014 I was not. 96 00:03:36,048 --> 00:03:37,916 Why are we laughing? 97 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,385 Well, anyway, tonight we are gonna spice things up 98 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,887 with a little competition. 99 00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,856 Whoever raises the most money by the end of the night 100 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:47,860 will win two free movie passes to the Pawnee mono-plex. 101 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,695 You really think that's gonna motivate people... 102 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,947 oh, my God. 103 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:55,284 I could use that for a romantic night with Millicent Gergich. 104 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:56,902 Out of my way, suckers. 105 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,204 As city manager, I play no favorites. 106 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,572 But as a private citizen, 107 00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:03,008 I am free to support whomever I choose, 108 00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,043 and I choose to support team Knope 109 00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:07,813 'cause they're the best. Everybody's the best. 110 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:11,917 We're all winners. 111 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,452 - Do I look laid-back? 112 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:16,254 - You look like you're trying to look laid-back. 113 00:04:16,272 --> 00:04:17,990 How about now? 114 00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,559 I think just... maybe just stand how you would normally stand. 115 00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,828 Okay. 116 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,063 I forget now. Hey, Ron. 117 00:04:25,097 --> 00:04:27,399 Thanks for coming, man. Of course. 118 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,335 This bowling alley has my favorite restaurant in Pawnee. 119 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,776 Really? You're not scared to eat here? 120 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:41,713 When I eat, it is the food that is scared. 121 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,048 Why are you sitting weird? 122 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:46,117 - Damn it. - Who's ready to bowl so hard? 123 00:04:46,135 --> 00:04:48,887 Tommy's new bowling swag. 124 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,389 You know what? When you do it, 125 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,757 you really do it. 126 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,175 Good for you, man. 127 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,761 Hello, I'm calling on behalf of Leslie Knope, 128 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,563 who is running for city council. 129 00:04:57,597 --> 00:05:00,432 Is this Deirdre Splatterfork? 130 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,633 That is literally the most beautiful name 131 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,018 I have ever heard. 132 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:06,238 No, I don't think we can accept donations over $50. 133 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:07,272 I don't really know why you would need 134 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,341 my social security number, 135 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:10,993 but... well, yeah, no. You're right. 136 00:05:11,027 --> 00:05:13,328 I guess it couldn't hurt to give it to you. It's 210... 137 00:05:13,363 --> 00:05:15,414 absolutely nothing. 138 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:18,000 What are you wearing? 139 00:05:18,034 --> 00:05:19,918 Fine, if you don't wanna donate, then don't. 140 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,253 Oh, by the way... 141 00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,672 I'm calling from inside your house! 142 00:05:23,706 --> 00:05:27,125 - Ha ha! $100. - Whoa. 143 00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:30,712 This is unbelievable. I cannot be stopped. 144 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:32,664 ♪ Come on now get some money ♪ 145 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,433 ♪ come on, April get an earpiece ♪ 146 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,834 ♪ come on do it ♪ 147 00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:37,302 I don't care about that prize, 148 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,172 but I'm gonna win because I want his happiness to go away. 149 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,675 Type in "T Rex" for me. 150 00:05:43,693 --> 00:05:46,445 No, no, no. Um, "t-boz." 151 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:50,115 Wait, wait. "Tommy Tsunami." 152 00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:51,533 No, "ticky ticky Tom-Tom." 153 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:53,902 No, "fly guy." 154 00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:54,987 I wrote "tom." 155 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,239 Classic. Timeless. 156 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,524 I love it. 157 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:02,694 "Girl"? 158 00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:04,329 I saw your ad from when you were a kid, 159 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,831 but it's nice to have a beer and get to know you. 160 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,832 Aw, thanks, rich. 161 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,001 Oh, here. Smile. 162 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,969 Maybe you'll get your picture the Pawnee journal. 163 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,205 Hey, this is going really well. 164 00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:14,806 Pretty decent turnout. 165 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:17,409 Yeah, you know, I feel very, you know, casual, relaxed. 166 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:21,313 Hey, is that the guy from the... from the focus group? 167 00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,565 Huh. I don't know. 168 00:06:23,599 --> 00:06:25,384 - I think it is. - Is it? 169 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,152 Excuse me, sir, would you mind telling me 170 00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:29,221 how you heard about the event tonight? 171 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,823 Oh, uh, I got a weird invitation in the mail. 172 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,192 I didn't realize we were sending out invitations. 173 00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:35,694 Oh. 174 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:39,031 Hey, you're that girl from the focus group thing I did. 175 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,766 Oh, I wouldn't know. 176 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,768 I'm never on the other side of the glass with those things. 177 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,086 Can I talk to you for a sec? 178 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:48,407 Yep. 179 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:50,575 Straight down the middle. 180 00:06:50,593 --> 00:06:53,679 No hook, no spin, no fuss. 181 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:58,417 Anything more and this becomes figure skating. 182 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,102 Come on, big girl. 183 00:07:00,136 --> 00:07:03,689 Let's knock these little pins down. 184 00:07:06,642 --> 00:07:08,393 Oh, my God, are you serious? 185 00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:11,430 Son, people can see you! 186 00:07:19,989 --> 00:07:22,574 Boom! 187 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,444 That right there... Tommy's strike. 188 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:27,612 Leslie, what happened to the big picture? 189 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:28,964 I'm thinking about the big picture. 190 00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:30,115 I'm trying to make the picture bigger 191 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:31,416 by including this guy in it. 192 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,419 I can't do anything about my gender or my height, 193 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,924 but I can win that guy over with a fun round of bowling. 194 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,059 We need everyone here to see a different side of Leslie Knope, 195 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,461 not one specific person. 196 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,262 Some people just aren't gonna like you. 197 00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:46,965 Let it go. Okay, I hear you. 198 00:07:46,983 --> 00:07:49,901 I'll treat him just like everybody else. 199 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,137 I'll just say "hi" to him, shake his hand, 200 00:07:52,155 --> 00:07:54,156 buy a him a few beers, 201 00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:56,324 share a few laughs, bowl a few frames, 202 00:07:56,359 --> 00:07:57,909 lose intentionally to make him feel good, 203 00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,044 friend him on Facebook. 204 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:02,214 And by the end of the night, he will be mine. 205 00:08:05,479 --> 00:08:08,305 Whoa, "thar" she bowls. 206 00:08:08,323 --> 00:08:10,491 I'm Leslie Knope. 207 00:08:10,525 --> 00:08:11,942 You wanna bowl? You wanna bowl together? 208 00:08:11,976 --> 00:08:12,943 You wanna be, like, bowl buddies? 209 00:08:12,977 --> 00:08:13,978 Sure. 210 00:08:14,012 --> 00:08:16,530 Great, just a casual game, you know? 211 00:08:16,581 --> 00:08:19,250 No biggie. You okay? 212 00:08:19,284 --> 00:08:22,053 My sister has scoliosis, and I think you might, you know... 213 00:08:22,087 --> 00:08:23,921 Oh, no. No, I'm just... I'm just being cas. 214 00:08:23,955 --> 00:08:25,656 What are you rocking? A 15 pounder? 215 00:08:25,674 --> 00:08:28,259 - 16. - Whoa, hey, good for you. 216 00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:30,594 Oh, there they are. I just ordered some wings for us. 217 00:08:30,629 --> 00:08:31,929 You like wings? 218 00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:33,997 - Love them. - Really? Who knew? 219 00:08:34,016 --> 00:08:35,570 I knew. 220 00:08:42,641 --> 00:08:43,708 Damn it. 221 00:08:43,742 --> 00:08:45,309 Why are you mad? You bowled a strike. 222 00:08:45,343 --> 00:08:47,912 That's how I motivate myself, you know? 223 00:08:47,946 --> 00:08:49,196 Never good enough. 224 00:08:49,231 --> 00:08:51,032 - Let me get you a beer. - Cool. 225 00:08:51,066 --> 00:08:55,119 These beers are as cold as the Tuktoyaktuk Winter Road. 226 00:08:55,153 --> 00:08:57,555 You watch Ice Road Truckers? 227 00:08:57,589 --> 00:09:00,357 Yeah, dude. It's my guilty pleasure. 228 00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:03,394 Tom, I'm asking you as a man to stop this immediately. 229 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:15,339 - Boom! - What the [Bleep]? 230 00:09:15,373 --> 00:09:18,142 Hello, is this Mrs. Gallivan? 231 00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:21,612 Well, my name is April, and wouldn't you know it, 232 00:09:21,646 --> 00:09:24,915 I'm raising money for a city council candidate I believe in. 233 00:09:24,950 --> 00:09:26,917 No, mira, mira, mira, mira, mira. 234 00:09:26,952 --> 00:09:28,619 It's, like, whatever you want. 235 00:09:28,653 --> 00:09:29,987 Like, $10. It don't matter. 236 00:09:30,021 --> 00:09:31,489 Well, I reckon it's just like 237 00:09:31,523 --> 00:09:33,991 grammy Martha told me and my cousins, 238 00:09:34,025 --> 00:09:36,727 "you can't eat the biscuits if you don't pay for the flour." 239 00:09:39,564 --> 00:09:42,767 Put the phone down, take a deep breath, 240 00:09:42,801 --> 00:09:45,286 and then you are going to tell Steven 241 00:09:45,337 --> 00:09:49,306 that you will be treated with respect, okay? 242 00:09:49,341 --> 00:09:51,742 And thank you for your donation. 243 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,844 Well, gee, I don't know, Fred. 244 00:09:53,879 --> 00:09:57,748 All I know is that I just want to live in a world 245 00:09:57,783 --> 00:09:59,266 that's a better place, 246 00:09:59,301 --> 00:10:02,186 and your contribution will definitely help us get there, 247 00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:05,856 to the... 248 00:10:05,891 --> 00:10:10,728 Better-place world, Fred. 249 00:10:10,762 --> 00:10:12,780 Yeehaw! 250 00:10:12,814 --> 00:10:15,866 Man, move over, pins. There's a new Sheriff in town. 251 00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:19,570 You are so down with strikes, they should call you Norma Rae. 252 00:10:19,604 --> 00:10:21,989 - Who's that? - It's a... 253 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,107 Sally Field movie about Unions. Doesn't matter. 254 00:10:24,126 --> 00:10:25,409 The point is, you're really good at this. 255 00:10:25,444 --> 00:10:27,912 It's your turn. Try not to break a nail. 256 00:10:27,946 --> 00:10:30,498 Ah, classic Derek with the Zings. 257 00:10:30,549 --> 00:10:32,299 Man, that's what bowling is all about... hey. 258 00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:33,484 How's it going? 259 00:10:33,518 --> 00:10:34,969 - It's going really good. - Oh, good. 260 00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:36,387 Um, we're just hanging out and having a very good time. 261 00:10:36,421 --> 00:10:37,855 Okay, I just wanted to remind you that 262 00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:40,558 when you're bowling, try not to fixate on just one pin. 263 00:10:40,592 --> 00:10:43,828 You're trying to knock down a lot of pins. 264 00:10:43,862 --> 00:10:46,063 I realize that, but I will knock down this pin, 265 00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:47,731 and then this pin will knock down all the other pins. 266 00:10:47,766 --> 00:10:48,899 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 267 00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:51,168 Hey, could you get me another one of these? 268 00:10:51,203 --> 00:10:52,803 I... I don't work here. 269 00:10:52,838 --> 00:10:54,304 Classic Derek. 270 00:10:54,322 --> 00:10:56,440 I am taking a probiotic tea break. 271 00:10:56,475 --> 00:10:57,942 And while that is happening, 272 00:10:57,976 --> 00:10:59,326 I thought I might share some big news. 273 00:10:59,361 --> 00:11:03,047 I am going to ask Millicent Gergich to move in with me. 274 00:11:03,081 --> 00:11:05,449 D-I... I mean, if that's okay with you of course, Jerry. 275 00:11:05,483 --> 00:11:09,086 Uh, yeah. Of course. Sure. 276 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,521 That's awesome, man. 277 00:11:10,555 --> 00:11:12,756 Hey, do you guys wanna live here with us and Ben 278 00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:14,458 and champion, the three-legged dog? 279 00:11:14,492 --> 00:11:17,595 - That is an amazing offer. - Yes! 280 00:11:17,629 --> 00:11:19,797 But I think we're probably gonna get our own place. 281 00:11:19,831 --> 00:11:21,765 I'm already working with a Real Estate agent 282 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,133 to find an octagonal house. 283 00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:25,436 I've done some reading, and an octagon 284 00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,705 is the optimal shape for a home in terms of energy flow. 285 00:11:27,739 --> 00:11:29,506 You know, Chris, I hate to pull rank, 286 00:11:29,524 --> 00:11:31,141 but if you're going to take a break, 287 00:11:31,175 --> 00:11:32,576 would you mind going in the living room, 288 00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:35,012 just, you know, so it doesn't disturb everybody else. 289 00:11:35,046 --> 00:11:37,948 Jerry, I love it when you pull rank. 290 00:11:37,983 --> 00:11:39,116 You're being weird. Why? 291 00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:41,218 Milli's gonna break up with Chris. 292 00:11:41,253 --> 00:11:42,519 Shut up! 293 00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:43,521 Oh, my God, that's gonna super weird 294 00:11:43,555 --> 00:11:45,055 when they move in together. 295 00:11:45,090 --> 00:11:48,542 Yeah, I don't know when, but she is definitely gonna do it. 296 00:11:55,050 --> 00:11:58,052 Nice. 297 00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:04,642 Hey, Ron. Were you trying to get a seven? 298 00:12:04,676 --> 00:12:06,343 Because if you were, you did a great job. 299 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:10,481 I am very angry right now. 300 00:12:10,515 --> 00:12:13,384 - [Whines] - What? 301 00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:16,219 My finger was in there! 302 00:12:16,238 --> 00:12:17,571 Ron crushed my finger. 303 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,773 I think it might be broken. 304 00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:22,993 - Are you a female bird? - It was an accident. 305 00:12:23,028 --> 00:12:25,763 Oh, my God, it's already swollen. 306 00:12:25,797 --> 00:12:28,098 Tom, my God, do you have any pride at all? 307 00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:30,701 You did this on purpose. You're jealous of my gift. 308 00:12:30,735 --> 00:12:33,037 Okay, come on, Tweety Bird, let's get you some ice. 309 00:12:33,071 --> 00:12:35,238 - It hurts. - Come on. 310 00:12:35,257 --> 00:12:38,342 Well, congratulations, man. 311 00:12:38,376 --> 00:12:40,678 Fun match, fun game, good times. 312 00:12:40,712 --> 00:12:42,279 Did you have fun? Yeah. 313 00:12:42,314 --> 00:12:45,015 I'm not one to complain about free beer and free bowling. 314 00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:46,416 See you around. Okay. 315 00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:48,269 Uh, just one second. 316 00:12:48,303 --> 00:12:51,555 I'm running for city council, as you know, 317 00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,024 and uh, just wondering, do I have your vote? 318 00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,360 - No. - Ha, Derek... 319 00:12:56,394 --> 00:12:58,028 You old so-and-so. 320 00:12:58,063 --> 00:12:59,280 For reals, can I count on your vote? 321 00:12:59,314 --> 00:13:01,966 Yeah, no, um, I don't think so. 322 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,669 But we've been here bowling all night, 323 00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:06,904 and we've been having fun. 324 00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:10,474 And you're still not gonna vote for me? Why? 325 00:13:10,508 --> 00:13:13,744 - I don't like you, okay? - Leslie, Leslie. 326 00:13:13,778 --> 00:13:15,779 Well, you're a crappy bowler, 327 00:13:15,797 --> 00:13:17,114 and I pretended to lose to you. 328 00:13:17,132 --> 00:13:19,133 Yeah, right. I destroyed you. 329 00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:20,317 No, it's true. 330 00:13:20,352 --> 00:13:23,120 I am a really good bowler. Ask Ron. 331 00:13:23,138 --> 00:13:24,722 I don't know who Ron is. 332 00:13:24,756 --> 00:13:26,223 But if you're so great, let's play again. 333 00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:27,558 Good. I'd love to. 334 00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:29,626 Tell you what, if I win, I get your vote. 335 00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:31,895 If I win, you clean my house for a month. 336 00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:33,314 - Done. - Hey, Leslie. 337 00:13:33,348 --> 00:13:35,683 I'd like to introduce you to my good friend, anyone else. 338 00:13:35,734 --> 00:13:36,984 Not now, Ben. 339 00:13:37,018 --> 00:13:39,236 I'd like to introduce Derek's ass to my foot. 340 00:13:39,270 --> 00:13:41,271 Get me another beer. 341 00:13:41,305 --> 00:13:42,489 I don't work here. 342 00:13:42,524 --> 00:13:44,908 $20? Thank you. 343 00:13:44,943 --> 00:13:46,994 Uh, you know, we're really looking for donations 344 00:13:47,028 --> 00:13:49,747 more in the $10,000 range. 345 00:13:49,781 --> 00:13:51,415 - Hi, guys. - Hey. 346 00:13:51,449 --> 00:13:53,283 Just one second. Let me get off this call. 347 00:13:53,317 --> 00:13:58,088 Hi, I'm so sorry. I'm back. 348 00:14:07,732 --> 00:14:10,901 What, champion? You need to go outside now? 349 00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:13,503 Come on. That a boy. 350 00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:17,105 Sorry, he's... hates awkward situations. 351 00:14:22,881 --> 00:14:26,817 Oh! 352 00:14:26,851 --> 00:14:28,869 - Terrible moonwalk. - Don't care. 353 00:14:32,957 --> 00:14:34,524 Yeah, what's up now, huh? 354 00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:38,862 Aw, you got a spare. That's so cute. 355 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,497 Check out the scoreboard. 356 00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:44,168 So Millicent and I are going to take a nice little stroll, 357 00:14:44,202 --> 00:14:45,569 and I'll be back soon. 358 00:14:45,603 --> 00:14:46,737 You know, if you want to take the rest of the night off, 359 00:14:46,771 --> 00:14:47,971 you know, that would be fine. 360 00:14:48,006 --> 00:14:49,773 Well, I don't think that will be necessary. 361 00:14:49,808 --> 00:14:52,576 Unless you also want to go get dinner. 362 00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,845 Nope, this won't take too long. 363 00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:57,014 Chris, you might want to take a jacket with you. 364 00:14:57,048 --> 00:14:59,216 It's about to get cold out there. 365 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,018 Thanks, Donna, but Millicent's company will keep me warm. 366 00:15:01,052 --> 00:15:02,352 Take the jacket. 367 00:15:02,387 --> 00:15:05,689 I wished for his happiness to go away. 368 00:15:05,724 --> 00:15:08,692 I might be a wizard. 369 00:15:10,695 --> 00:15:13,247 Hey, Derek. What a defeat, man. 370 00:15:13,281 --> 00:15:15,499 I mean, I did not expect to win by that much. 371 00:15:15,533 --> 00:15:17,835 But I warned you, I am a good bowler. 372 00:15:17,869 --> 00:15:19,920 - Whatever. - All joking aside, 373 00:15:19,954 --> 00:15:21,872 I wanna say that I actually had fun. 374 00:15:21,906 --> 00:15:25,042 And I'm really looking forward to your vote in the spring. 375 00:15:25,076 --> 00:15:27,127 Yeah, I'll just write in "bitch." 376 00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:28,879 I'm sorry, what did you just say? 377 00:15:28,913 --> 00:15:30,881 Just ignore him. He's being a jerk. 378 00:15:30,915 --> 00:15:32,933 I said she's a bitch. 379 00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:35,252 - Oh, my God. - What the hell? 380 00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:37,688 I'm so sorry. 381 00:15:37,722 --> 00:15:39,623 I'm so sorry. That was awesome. 382 00:15:39,657 --> 00:15:43,393 I'm so sorry. 383 00:15:43,428 --> 00:15:46,613 Oh, look. Here's that photo op you wanted. 384 00:15:46,648 --> 00:15:48,087 - Ow. - Sorry. 385 00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,220 So... you know... that's everything that happens 386 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,135 so it was just what happened. It was just like... 387 00:15:53,988 --> 00:15:55,689 - What's wrong with you? - I don't know, I just... 388 00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:56,740 I have a lot of adrenaline right now. 389 00:15:56,775 --> 00:15:59,276 Just take a few deep breaths, okay? 390 00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,661 The guy said he might press charges. 391 00:16:00,695 --> 00:16:02,162 Yeah, well, Randy, I would like you to know 392 00:16:02,197 --> 00:16:03,614 that we will not be pressing charges. 393 00:16:03,648 --> 00:16:05,165 Yeah, that really wasn't an option. 394 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,117 Come on, the guy was being a total jerk. 395 00:16:07,151 --> 00:16:08,752 What Ben did was warranted 396 00:16:08,787 --> 00:16:10,587 and extremely awesome, by the way. 397 00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:12,489 Did you write down how awesome it was? 398 00:16:12,507 --> 00:16:13,857 When we write official reports, 399 00:16:13,892 --> 00:16:16,460 we refrain from using words like "jerk" or "awesome." 400 00:16:16,494 --> 00:16:18,679 - Hey, here you go. - Hey. 401 00:16:18,713 --> 00:16:20,597 Wow, you and me, huh? Hurt "fingies." 402 00:16:20,632 --> 00:16:23,016 No, no, two totally different injuries. 403 00:16:23,051 --> 00:16:25,853 Okay, you... just hang in there, okay? 404 00:16:25,887 --> 00:16:27,955 Okay, love you too. Bye-bye. 405 00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:30,674 Well, that was Milli. It happened. 406 00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,009 She broke up with Chris. 407 00:16:32,043 --> 00:16:33,811 - Boo. - Damn you, Jerry. 408 00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:36,029 It's not my fault. 409 00:16:36,064 --> 00:16:38,048 Well, I feel sorry for the man. 410 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:40,117 Well, anyway, the fundraising challenge is over, 411 00:16:40,151 --> 00:16:41,752 and the winner... whoa. 412 00:16:41,786 --> 00:16:44,121 We have a surprise winner, April. 413 00:16:44,155 --> 00:16:47,157 April wins two tickets to the Pawnee mono-plex! 414 00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:50,694 Yes! That's my wife! 415 00:16:52,085 --> 00:16:54,030 Okay, everything's settled here. 416 00:16:54,048 --> 00:16:55,833 Wanna head home? No. 417 00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:58,702 We haven't finished yet. Last frame, your turn. 418 00:16:58,736 --> 00:17:01,672 - He hurt his hand. - Last frame, go. 419 00:17:01,706 --> 00:17:04,558 - Fine, I'll bowl one-handed, like an idiot. 420 00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:14,401 Whoo! Oh, come on. 421 00:17:14,435 --> 00:17:16,253 King Kong ain't got nothing on me. 422 00:17:16,287 --> 00:17:18,071 Ow, my "fingie" still hurts. 423 00:17:18,106 --> 00:17:20,557 Oh, the bravery. The perseverance. 424 00:17:20,575 --> 00:17:21,592 You're an American hero. 425 00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:23,610 And the best part is, beautiful, 426 00:17:23,661 --> 00:17:26,747 you get to drive the champion home. 427 00:17:26,781 --> 00:17:28,866 Well, the headline I would've gone with is 428 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:33,871 "no-strike-bowling bowler struck by Knope's striking beau." 429 00:17:33,905 --> 00:17:35,005 Okay, one more time. 430 00:17:35,039 --> 00:17:36,807 Let me resign. 431 00:17:36,841 --> 00:17:38,275 It's the only thing that truly protects you. 432 00:17:38,309 --> 00:17:40,244 Non-starter. 433 00:17:40,278 --> 00:17:43,463 Okay. Now when you take questions, 434 00:17:43,515 --> 00:17:46,016 I think you should be brief and sincere. 435 00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:47,684 Don't try to justify what I did. 436 00:17:47,719 --> 00:17:49,970 Just apologize again, and stay on script. 437 00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:52,022 Are you sure that you don't need more whipped cream? 438 00:17:52,056 --> 00:17:53,891 Not today. I don't deserve it. 439 00:17:53,925 --> 00:17:58,695 I got us into this mess because I was fixating on that guy. 440 00:17:58,730 --> 00:18:00,097 But this is ridiculous. 441 00:18:00,131 --> 00:18:01,798 I do need more whipped cream. Ma'am. 442 00:18:04,118 --> 00:18:05,619 Hi. 443 00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:08,956 April Ludgate. How are you doing? 444 00:18:08,990 --> 00:18:12,793 Uh, whatever. I'm fine. 445 00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:13,911 Um, how are you? 446 00:18:13,945 --> 00:18:16,797 Well, as you may know, Millicent Gergich 447 00:18:16,831 --> 00:18:18,115 ended our relationship last night, 448 00:18:18,149 --> 00:18:20,617 which was disappointing. 449 00:18:20,652 --> 00:18:23,487 But here's why 450 00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:27,057 it may be the greatest thing that ever happened. 451 00:18:32,263 --> 00:18:36,166 Yeah, good point. 452 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,068 Hadn't thought about it that way. 453 00:18:38,102 --> 00:18:41,989 Um, here. 454 00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:43,156 Take these tickets. 455 00:18:43,191 --> 00:18:44,875 - Oh, no, no, no. Y-you earned them. 456 00:18:44,909 --> 00:18:46,009 They're movie tickets, Chris. 457 00:18:46,044 --> 00:18:48,245 They're, like, 8 bucks. 458 00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:49,246 It's a gesture. 459 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:50,364 There are three of them. 460 00:18:50,415 --> 00:18:51,415 I thought there were only two. 461 00:18:51,449 --> 00:18:53,250 Yeah, I know, I bought another one 462 00:18:53,284 --> 00:18:55,886 because I thought that maybe you, me, and Andy 463 00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:00,557 could go to the movies sometime. 464 00:19:00,592 --> 00:19:02,793 Just take the stupid tickets. 465 00:19:02,827 --> 00:19:04,828 I'm just trying to be nice. 466 00:19:04,846 --> 00:19:09,366 - Thank you. - There you go. 467 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,469 Okay, bye. 468 00:19:12,503 --> 00:19:14,438 Leslie, are you going to fire Ben Wyatt? 469 00:19:14,472 --> 00:19:16,106 Are you going to suspend your campaign? 470 00:19:16,140 --> 00:19:18,525 I'd like to first start by saying thank you for coming. 471 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:20,310 And on behalf of Ben Wyatt 472 00:19:20,345 --> 00:19:22,279 and everyone involved in my campaign, 473 00:19:22,313 --> 00:19:24,448 I'm very sorry for what happened 474 00:19:24,482 --> 00:19:28,285 at the rock n' roll bowling alley last night. 475 00:19:28,319 --> 00:19:31,722 You know what? No, I'm not. 476 00:19:31,756 --> 00:19:32,956 I... I'm not sorry. 477 00:19:32,991 --> 00:19:36,359 This guy was drunk, and he was aggressive. 478 00:19:36,377 --> 00:19:38,078 And he was rude, and he was foul-mouthed. 479 00:19:38,129 --> 00:19:41,264 And he called me by my second least favorite term for a woman, 480 00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:43,367 and my campaign manager punched him. 481 00:19:43,401 --> 00:19:44,635 I do not condone violence, 482 00:19:44,669 --> 00:19:47,754 but I have to be honest, it was awesome. 483 00:19:47,805 --> 00:19:51,475 And my campaign manager and I made out a lot afterward. 484 00:19:51,509 --> 00:19:52,943 Ah, I probably shouldn't have said that. 485 00:19:52,977 --> 00:19:55,178 But that's what happened. 486 00:19:55,213 --> 00:19:57,714 Derek hates me, and I don't particularly like him. 487 00:19:57,749 --> 00:20:02,385 So what's the point, right, Derek? 488 00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:04,438 I feel like you're being kind of a bitch right now. 489 00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:06,823 See? So I'm not going to apologize. 490 00:20:06,858 --> 00:20:09,026 And if people won't vote for me because of that, 491 00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,327 well, there's nothing I can do about it. 492 00:20:10,361 --> 00:20:11,995 But you should be warned. 493 00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:13,947 If you do not vote for me, 494 00:20:13,998 --> 00:20:16,566 my boyfriend might beat you up. 495 00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:18,335 Now if anyone has any questions 496 00:20:18,369 --> 00:20:22,405 about the issues facing our city, I'm right here. 497 00:20:22,423 --> 00:20:25,242 Okay, what are your overall impressions of this woman? 498 00:20:25,276 --> 00:20:28,762 What do you like about her? What don't you like about her? 499 00:20:28,796 --> 00:20:29,913 - I like her. - What do you like 500 00:20:29,931 --> 00:20:31,114 about her specifically? 501 00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:33,183 I don't know. She's tough, I guess. 502 00:20:33,217 --> 00:20:34,417 I just like her. 503 00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:36,953 I like that that one guy punched that other guy, 504 00:20:36,988 --> 00:20:39,639 and then I like that she stood by him. 505 00:20:39,691 --> 00:20:41,391 See? People vote with their gut. 506 00:20:41,425 --> 00:20:44,094 Yeah, that guy said he didn't like my earrings. 507 00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:45,095 Go punch him. Sure. 508 00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:48,064 Here you go. Lane eight. 509 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:52,157 No, Lane 22. The one at the very end. 510 00:20:58,608 --> 00:21:00,709 Son of a bitch. 511 00:21:00,744 --> 00:21:06,749 [Grunting] 512 00:21:13,657 --> 00:21:16,892 Hey, perfect game. What's your name? 513 00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:18,194 Put it up on a wall. 514 00:21:18,196 --> 00:21:19,469 I was never here, 515 00:21:19,852 --> 00:21:21,962 and you will never speak of this again 516 00:21:22,211 --> 00:21:24,570 Sync and Corrections by 5APOLLO & UV 0 www.addic7ed.com