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Ladies and gentlemen,
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the next city councilor
for the great city of Pawnee
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Bobby Newport.
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Hey.
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Thanks, guy.
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Hey, all right.
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Hi, I'm Bobby Newport.
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You know, we're two days
into this campaign,
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and so far it's going great.
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In fact, I don't know why
they call it a "cam-pain."
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Because up until now
it's been a "cam-pleasure."
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All right, hey, why don't
we line up for autographs
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and free Bobby bars.
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Huh?
Who wants a Bobby bar?
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Bobby Newport, heir to
the sweetums candy fortune.
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My dad made 'em.
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He just entered the race,
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and he's already
70 points up in all the polls.
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He is attractive
and charming.
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And his family employs
half the town,
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but so what?
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I am a lifelong
government bureaucrat
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who's well-versed
in the issues.
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And those are the kind
of sexy qualifications
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that win elections.
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How's it going?
I'm Bobby Newport.
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But you probably
knew that already.
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Well, Mr. Newport,
we meet at last.
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I'm Leslie Knope.
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Ah, okeydoke.
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So do you want me to sign that
to miss lope or just Nesney?
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What? No.
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Leslie's fine.
Leslie?
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Yeah, miss Knope is
a candidate for city council.
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Been calling your office
trying to set up a debate.
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Oh, no,
you guys are wrong.
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I'm running unopposed.
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I'm pretty sure
I'm running unopposed, right?
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No, you're not running
unopposed.
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You've very opposed by me.
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Oh, terrific.
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I love meeting people.
I love it, yeah.
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What do you guys do?
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We just told you.
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We're gonna be running
for city council.
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Great.
Here, have a Bobby bar.
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Go ahead,
my dad made 'em.
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Okay, folks.
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Hey, I'm Bobby Newport.
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I think we scared him.
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Here, have a Bobby bar.
My dad made 'em.
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♪
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Hey, Ann,
are you still a nurse
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or did they fire you because
you slept with all the doctors?
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You wanna try that again?
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Hey, Ann,
are you still a nurse?
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Because Andy's not
feeling well.
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What's wrong, Andy?
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Just got a headache.
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And I'm seeing double.
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And I got a song
stuck in my head,
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and my teeth hurt.
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Also I'm hungry.
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Okay, well, some of
those things are symptoms
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and some of them
are just being a person.
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Did you hit your head?
No.
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Oh, yes, technically
I did smash my head area
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into the wall area.
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Yeah, he was hanging up
his gold record.
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Oh, my God,
are you okay?
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Yeah, I'm good.
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Point is,
I have a gold record.
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Well, I can help you
with cuts and bruises
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but the other stuff you're gonna
have to see a real doctor.
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Hey, smart ass,
we can't afford it.
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Hey, smart ass,
yes, you can.
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You have insurance.
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Neither of your asses
are that smart
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because insurance is for
if something bad happens
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to your car.
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P.S. I haven't had it
in years.
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Oh, my God,
we used to live together.
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Yeah, you still
got it for me.
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I'm Bobby Newport.
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My family owns nine square
Miles of land in this town.
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And isn't my family what this
town's really about?
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Vote Bobby Newport
for city council.
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That guy is everywhere.
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I am not complaining.
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Well, we have to find
a way to beat him.
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And luckily Ben
is going to announce
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the most amazing campaign
strategy ever thought of
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in the entire history
of western democracy.
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Go, Ben,
here's your great idea.
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We're all ready for it.
And start.
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I'm running for office.
I'm surrounded by my friends.
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My campaign manager and I
are in love.
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This is exactly
how I dreamed it would be
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when I was a kid.
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Except I wasn't
70 points behind
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and my campaign manager
was Mr. belvedere.
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We are David.
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Newport is goliath.
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This is our slingshot.
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- Yes, we'll write
an inspiring op-ed piece.
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- No, the Pawnee-eagleton
high school basketball game.
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Now, in this town it's bigger
than the super bowl.
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We take all our money, we air
a TV ad right at halftime.
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00:04:04,423 --> 00:04:07,458
And I think we should make
an attack ad
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against Bobby Newport.
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- Oh!
- That is a great idea!
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- Thank you.
- Excellent.
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- Yay, it's a good idea.
- All right, great.
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So let's get to work.
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Ron Swanson.
How are you?
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Present.
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I have a meeting
at public works,
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and I was thinking that maybe
you might wanna sit in.
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Why would you think that?
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They are working on
a number of fascinating,
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big-budget projects...
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I'm very busy here.
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That I am being forced
to brutally cut entirely.
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I can make room
in my schedule.
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Wonderful.
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As you know, I'm not a big fan
of delivering bad news.
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Chris, it would be
my absolute pleasure.
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Have you considered cutting
the entire fire department?
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I've personally put out
several local fires
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at no cost
to the taxpayer.
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Look to the left.
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The right.
Whatever.
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Are you
the kind of doctor
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who gets hooked
on his own drugs?
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I bet you are.
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So, Andy,
tell me what happened.
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I was reading
an encyclopedia,
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and I tripped
or "fell over"
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and hit my head
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or brain helmet.
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Yeah, he sneezed and smacked
his head against the wall.
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That sounds about right.
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Well, if it's a concussion
it's extremely mild,
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so I wouldn't worry about it.
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Anything else bothering you?
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- Nope.
- Okay.
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Well, I mean, yeah,
I've got a weird rash
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in my knee pit area.
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And my tongue,
on this side,
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doesn't taste
anything anymore.
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Sometimes when I walk
my ankles make, like,
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a weird rattlesnake sound.
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What else?
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Things that are far away
from my eyes are fuzzy.
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I once at a twix
with the wrapper on it,
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and I've never seen
the wrapper come out.
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Also I've swallowed
every piece of gum
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that I've chewed
for the past 25 years.
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- Andy!
- I don't know.
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I broke my thumb
on the way over here.
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Just fix me.
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Well, I can help you
with the thumb.
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And I'll have to give you
referrals for specialists
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for the other thousand things.
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Wow, thanks for nothing,
Dr. Harris.
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You're welcome.
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Hey, I'm Bobby Newport.
I'm a regular guy.
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I like dogs.
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I'm here with my persian
greyhound raclette,
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who was given to me
by my buddy,
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the pretender to the crown
of alsace-Lorraine.
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Vote Bobby Newport
for city council.
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Hey, um,
between you and me,
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I think that Donna is having
a problem with going negative
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in the ad.
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- Nah-uh,
I always go negative.
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Even if I like the guy
I go negative.
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Keeps 'em interested.
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Thanks, Donna.
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Well, I didn't want
to tell you this,
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but Ann is having
a hard time with it.
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She's kind of freaking out
right now.
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Oh, my God,
this magic marker
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smells like cherries.
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Hey, here's a question,
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do you like the idea?
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It's... who...
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Do you like it?
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Look, you have a vision
of how your campaign should go.
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I am your chief strategist,
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00:06:45,484 --> 00:06:46,851
so I'm sure
we can work it out.
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Why don't you just tell me
what you're thinking.
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I hate negative ads,
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and I would never do one
in a million years.
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Thank you, John,
for coming in.
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The public works department
is wonderful,
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and you are the best idea man
in the business.
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We're cancelling all of
your ongoing projects.
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00:07:04,603 --> 00:07:05,636
What?
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00:07:05,671 --> 00:07:07,472
What about
the Pawnee river dam?
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00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:09,740
Dam's dead.
Have a nice day.
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00:07:09,775 --> 00:07:11,843
Where will
all the water go?
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00:07:11,877 --> 00:07:13,995
Wherever it's headed now.
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00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:16,481
The important thing is the dam
is never happening
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and your dream
has been crushed.
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- We're very sorry.
- I am not.
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00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:24,789
Good meeting.
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00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:27,124
It's not a negative ad.
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00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:28,676
We're stating facts about him,
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00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:29,961
and, yeah,
they happen to be negative
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00:07:29,995 --> 00:07:31,462
because he's a bonehead.
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00:07:31,497 --> 00:07:32,763
Well, I wanted
to run an ad
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00:07:32,797 --> 00:07:34,499
that highlights
the good things about me,
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00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:36,267
not the bad things
about somebody else.
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00:07:36,301 --> 00:07:38,802
Tom, you are our
communications director.
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00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:40,771
Weigh in here.
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00:07:40,805 --> 00:07:42,857
Leslie,
I love your idea.
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00:07:42,908 --> 00:07:46,027
I also love your idea.
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00:07:46,078 --> 00:07:49,197
Two great ideas,
two great people.
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00:07:49,248 --> 00:07:50,698
I don't know
which idea's better,
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00:07:50,749 --> 00:07:53,784
but I do know I'll end up
on the winning side.
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00:07:53,819 --> 00:07:55,086
When I bet on horses,
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00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,287
I never lose.
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00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:57,588
Why?
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00:07:57,623 --> 00:08:00,324
I bet on all the horses.
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00:08:00,359 --> 00:08:02,193
How 'bout we do this,
we split up into teams,
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00:08:02,227 --> 00:08:04,545
we each make a demo version
of our ad.
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00:08:04,596 --> 00:08:06,830
Whichever one we like better
we use.
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00:08:06,848 --> 00:08:08,549
Great idea!
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00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,051
As long as Leslie
thinks so as well.
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00:08:10,102 --> 00:08:12,670
Sure, I'll pick Ann
and Donna for my team.
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00:08:12,688 --> 00:08:14,505
You can take Jerry.
What?
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00:08:14,540 --> 00:08:16,173
Well, you wanted
to go negative.
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00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:18,859
You got the biggest negative
in the world, buddy.
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00:08:21,446 --> 00:08:22,446
Okay everybody
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00:08:22,447 --> 00:08:23,647
I need big smiles from you
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00:08:23,681 --> 00:08:25,249
We're making
a positive ad here.
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00:08:25,283 --> 00:08:28,319
So just think of this
as Christmas and your birthday
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00:08:28,353 --> 00:08:30,187
and the first day of school
all rolled up into one.
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00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:32,406
Positive is always
better than negative.
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00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:33,991
Barack Obama said,
"yes we can,"
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00:08:34,026 --> 00:08:35,242
and now he's president.
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00:08:35,293 --> 00:08:36,560
Ben says,
"no we shouldn't,"
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00:08:36,595 --> 00:08:38,829
and now he's working
for his girlfriend.
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00:08:38,864 --> 00:08:40,414
Guys, I need
double the smiles, okay?
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00:08:40,465 --> 00:08:43,250
Let's take it back again.
And action.
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00:08:43,301 --> 00:08:46,087
And this is going great.
We're really positive.
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00:08:46,138 --> 00:08:48,672
I think we're getting
good stuff, right?
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00:08:48,706 --> 00:08:51,542
What's it?
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00:08:51,576 --> 00:08:53,044
Oh, come on.
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00:08:53,078 --> 00:08:55,930
Leslie, I think Bobby
Newport's bus was in that shot.
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00:08:55,981 --> 00:08:56,931
Do you think?
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00:08:56,982 --> 00:09:01,085
E, h, 4, m.
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00:09:01,119 --> 00:09:02,737
Potato shape.
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00:09:02,771 --> 00:09:04,922
Coffee mug shape.
256
00:09:04,956 --> 00:09:07,441
Smudge, smudge,
middle finger, smudge.
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00:09:07,492 --> 00:09:09,110
The rest are all smudges.
258
00:09:09,161 --> 00:09:10,995
Oh, my God,
you drove us here.
259
00:09:11,029 --> 00:09:13,197
We made, like, 100 million
doctors' appointments
260
00:09:13,231 --> 00:09:14,731
for ourselves in one week.
261
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,751
After this we won't
have to go to the doctor
262
00:09:16,785 --> 00:09:18,369
for, like, ten years,
263
00:09:18,403 --> 00:09:21,255
because we're smart.
264
00:09:21,289 --> 00:09:22,873
Well, you definitely
need glasses.
265
00:09:22,908 --> 00:09:24,141
No, he's not
getting glasses.
266
00:09:24,176 --> 00:09:25,476
I like his face
the way it is.
267
00:09:25,510 --> 00:09:27,011
If you get glasses,
I'll divorce you.
268
00:09:27,045 --> 00:09:28,546
Well, you heard her, doc.
269
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:31,265
Too handsome for glasses,
no offense.
270
00:09:31,299 --> 00:09:34,251
I gotta admit,
his hair game's on point.
271
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:35,586
Gotta find out
what kind of product
272
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:37,088
he puts up in his "herr."
273
00:09:37,122 --> 00:09:39,140
Hey, how's
Leslie's ad going?
274
00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:40,324
It's very good.
275
00:09:40,358 --> 00:09:43,994
But yours is also very good.
276
00:09:44,029 --> 00:09:45,279
- You ready for
the voice-over?
277
00:09:45,313 --> 00:09:46,430
Yeah.
278
00:09:46,448 --> 00:09:50,534
Bobby Newport's never
had a real job
279
00:09:50,569 --> 00:09:52,436
in his life.
280
00:09:52,454 --> 00:09:53,604
You gotta give it
more attitude.
281
00:09:53,638 --> 00:09:55,272
It's gotta scare people.
282
00:09:55,307 --> 00:09:56,907
Bobby Newport...
283
00:09:56,942 --> 00:09:59,677
Yeah, okay.
All right.
284
00:09:59,711 --> 00:10:02,296
Bobby Newport's never had
285
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:05,583
a real job in his life.
286
00:10:05,617 --> 00:10:07,585
- Bobby Newport's never had
287
00:10:07,619 --> 00:10:09,653
a real job in his life.
288
00:10:09,688 --> 00:10:11,255
Bobby Newport.
289
00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:12,456
Bobby Newport.
290
00:10:12,491 --> 00:10:14,058
Bobby Newport.
291
00:10:14,092 --> 00:10:15,593
Bobby Newport.
292
00:10:15,627 --> 00:10:17,461
Bobby Newport.
293
00:10:17,496 --> 00:10:18,462
Bobby Newport.
294
00:10:18,497 --> 00:10:20,664
- Bobby.
- Bobby.
295
00:10:20,699 --> 00:10:21,649
Bobby.
296
00:10:21,683 --> 00:10:22,983
Newport.
297
00:10:23,018 --> 00:10:25,653
All right, now we're just
wasting time, Jerry.
298
00:10:25,687 --> 00:10:27,188
Ron Swanson!
299
00:10:27,239 --> 00:10:29,507
I want to thank you for being
so ruthless and cruel
300
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:30,658
in the meeting
the other day.
301
00:10:30,692 --> 00:10:32,476
You'll have to be
more specific.
302
00:10:32,511 --> 00:10:34,378
With the public works
department about the dam.
303
00:10:34,412 --> 00:10:35,479
Ah.
304
00:10:35,514 --> 00:10:36,697
What do you say
I take you to lunch
305
00:10:36,748 --> 00:10:38,115
and then we can talk
about all the projects
306
00:10:38,149 --> 00:10:39,283
that you want
to get accomplished.
307
00:10:39,317 --> 00:10:40,584
That won't be necessary.
308
00:10:40,619 --> 00:10:41,952
I don't have any projects.
309
00:10:41,987 --> 00:10:43,287
I hate projects.
310
00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:50,327
What a pill.
We should order.
311
00:10:50,362 --> 00:10:52,530
And then we can talk shop.
What are you gonna have?
312
00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:57,351
I'm thinking something
raw and cucumber-based.
313
00:10:57,385 --> 00:10:58,385
A cucumber.
314
00:10:58,436 --> 00:10:59,637
I don't know what happened.
315
00:10:59,671 --> 00:11:01,438
I declined
his invitation.
316
00:11:01,473 --> 00:11:02,840
He started laughing.
317
00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:05,910
And the next thing I knew,
we were at lunch.
318
00:11:05,944 --> 00:11:07,862
Did he drug me?
319
00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,380
Hi, I'm Bobby Newport.
320
00:11:09,414 --> 00:11:12,516
My dad is friends
with John cougar mellencamp.
321
00:11:12,551 --> 00:11:14,018
That's pretty cool.
322
00:11:14,052 --> 00:11:15,319
What is this guy
running for,
323
00:11:15,353 --> 00:11:17,204
president of being on every
channel all the time?
324
00:11:17,239 --> 00:11:19,073
Reminder, Leslie,
we have less than an hour
325
00:11:19,124 --> 00:11:20,708
to get the ad
to the station.
326
00:11:20,742 --> 00:11:22,192
Ann, you're beautiful
and you're organized.
327
00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:23,994
So in order
not to bias anyone,
328
00:11:24,028 --> 00:11:25,880
these are the two ads
that Ben and I made.
329
00:11:25,914 --> 00:11:27,131
I'm just gonna
pick one randomly,
330
00:11:27,165 --> 00:11:28,632
and we'll play
that one first.
331
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:29,967
Oh, yay,
the awesome one.
332
00:11:31,703 --> 00:11:33,170
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope.
333
00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:35,389
I'm pro-parks,
pro-public safety,
334
00:11:35,423 --> 00:11:37,057
and I'm pro-clean water.
335
00:11:37,092 --> 00:11:39,143
I'm also pro-environmental
regulation,
336
00:11:39,177 --> 00:11:41,979
and I'm very,
very pro-local propositions
337
00:11:42,013 --> 00:11:44,215
45, 86, and 102f.
338
00:11:44,249 --> 00:11:47,017
But most of all,
I'm pro-Pawnee.
339
00:11:47,051 --> 00:11:49,553
Here are some other things
that I'm pro.
340
00:12:00,782 --> 00:12:02,199
As you can see,
341
00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:03,751
I'm in favor
of a lot of things,
342
00:12:03,785 --> 00:12:05,085
like hot dogs.
343
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,670
Right, Charlie?
344
00:12:06,705 --> 00:12:08,105
I'm Leslie Knope,
345
00:12:08,139 --> 00:12:09,540
and I approve
this message.
346
00:12:09,574 --> 00:12:11,592
Yes.
I love it.
347
00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:13,243
Fantastic.
348
00:12:13,261 --> 00:12:15,145
Do we even want
to screen yours?
349
00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:16,747
Uh, yeah,
that was awful.
350
00:12:16,781 --> 00:12:17,815
What do you mean?
351
00:12:17,849 --> 00:12:18,933
Name one thing
that was wrong with it.
352
00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:20,584
Okay, you never
even mentioned
353
00:12:20,619 --> 00:12:22,086
you were running
for office.
354
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,222
You literally never said
the words "city council."
355
00:12:25,257 --> 00:12:27,891
I did... it's implied.
356
00:12:27,925 --> 00:12:29,760
I didn't... we can just
put it in.
357
00:12:29,778 --> 00:12:30,811
Okay.
358
00:12:30,862 --> 00:12:33,981
Leslie is so good
at so many things
359
00:12:34,032 --> 00:12:36,400
and so bad at that.
360
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:41,655
Bobby Newport's been handed
everything on a silver platter.
361
00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:44,742
His cushy job at his dad's
candy company,
362
00:12:44,776 --> 00:12:46,777
handed to him.
363
00:12:46,811 --> 00:12:49,747
His 60-foot boat,
Bobby's boat,
364
00:12:49,781 --> 00:12:53,584
handed to him
when he was 12.
365
00:12:53,618 --> 00:12:55,552
Leslie Knope is running
for city council too,
366
00:12:55,587 --> 00:12:58,088
and she's earned everything
she's ever gotten.
367
00:12:58,123 --> 00:12:59,623
She has.
368
00:12:59,641 --> 00:13:01,558
Bobby Newport wants you
to just hand him
369
00:13:01,593 --> 00:13:03,126
this election.
370
00:13:03,144 --> 00:13:04,128
Don't.
371
00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:05,629
I won't.
372
00:13:05,664 --> 00:13:06,814
- Yes.
- Yes, yes.
373
00:13:06,848 --> 00:13:07,815
I love it.
374
00:13:07,849 --> 00:13:10,000
Now, people,
this is an ad.
375
00:13:10,035 --> 00:13:12,636
It's succinct, it's punchy.
It's mean.
376
00:13:12,654 --> 00:13:15,189
It's depressing.
It's awful.
377
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,509
"I am Ben Wyatt, and I want
to destroy Leslie's dreams."
378
00:13:19,694 --> 00:13:21,478
Okay, if you're allergic
to any food,
379
00:13:21,513 --> 00:13:22,913
we'll know
in a few days.
380
00:13:22,947 --> 00:13:24,331
I think
based on the redness
381
00:13:24,366 --> 00:13:27,117
I might be allergic
to getting stabbed by needles.
382
00:13:27,151 --> 00:13:28,669
We have already been to, like,
five different doctors.
383
00:13:28,703 --> 00:13:31,422
I got my ankles microwaved.
- X-rayed.
384
00:13:31,456 --> 00:13:33,257
They took my blood away
to use for science.
385
00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,325
Cholesterol tests.
386
00:13:34,359 --> 00:13:36,827
April had
her sinuses removed?
387
00:13:36,861 --> 00:13:38,012
Looked at.
388
00:13:38,046 --> 00:13:39,763
Some guy looked
at my wiener, touched it.
389
00:13:39,798 --> 00:13:40,881
That was weird.
390
00:13:40,932 --> 00:13:42,466
And that guy
wasn't even a doctor.
391
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,685
That...
392
00:13:44,719 --> 00:13:46,002
What?
393
00:13:46,021 --> 00:13:47,805
Now I think it is time
for us to take a vote.
394
00:13:47,839 --> 00:13:49,840
So who's in favor
of Ben's ad?
395
00:13:49,874 --> 00:13:51,542
Traitors!
396
00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:54,044
Ann, I painted
your garage pink.
397
00:13:54,079 --> 00:13:55,779
I did not ask you
to do that.
398
00:13:55,814 --> 00:13:57,981
Leslie, look,
I want you to win,
399
00:13:58,016 --> 00:13:59,650
and Ben's ad
is just better.
400
00:13:59,684 --> 00:14:01,318
Our friendship is over.
No, it's not.
401
00:14:01,353 --> 00:14:03,037
It's not over.
It's never over.
402
00:14:03,071 --> 00:14:04,521
Bff.
I love you forever.
403
00:14:04,556 --> 00:14:06,040
You know what, it seems like
we're kind of evenly split.
404
00:14:06,074 --> 00:14:07,241
I think we should
keep debating.
405
00:14:07,292 --> 00:14:09,243
We're not split.
It's unanimous.
406
00:14:09,294 --> 00:14:11,228
- We air my ad.
- But I...
407
00:14:11,262 --> 00:14:13,714
This is just... it's just not
the way I dreamed it would be.
408
00:14:13,748 --> 00:14:16,233
This is
the right call, okay?
409
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,468
I promise.
410
00:14:17,502 --> 00:14:19,002
Okay.
411
00:14:19,037 --> 00:14:21,037
I'm going to air
a negative ad.
412
00:14:21,056 --> 00:14:22,740
It's out of my hands now.
413
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:24,908
But you know what,
I'm actually feeling
414
00:14:24,943 --> 00:14:27,878
very zen about this.
415
00:14:27,896 --> 00:14:29,713
- Are you are Ben Wyatt?
- Yeah.
416
00:14:29,731 --> 00:14:31,348
Okay, I need that DVD
in the control room.
417
00:14:31,382 --> 00:14:33,584
- Aah!
- Oh, my God.
418
00:14:33,618 --> 00:14:36,720
I am Leslie Knope, and
I do not approve this message.
419
00:14:36,738 --> 00:14:39,490
What are you doing?
What are you...
420
00:14:39,524 --> 00:14:40,524
Ah.
421
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,100
Alright, the good news is,
422
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:46,568
there's only two pieces
of bad news.
423
00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:48,687
The bad news is,
none of our ads aired
424
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,422
and we cannot get
our money back.
425
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:51,590
Oh, God.
426
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,857
There was probably
a better way
427
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,359
for you to tell us that.
428
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,527
You both really blew this.
429
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,996
But I can't wait to hear
your new ideas.
430
00:14:58,030 --> 00:14:59,281
I love 'em already.
431
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,699
Ooh, I'm hungry.
432
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,269
Tommy needs a mango.
See ya.
433
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:06,471
I'm really sorry
I tackled you.
434
00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:09,507
It's just, I'd rather run
the fake campaign ads
435
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,009
that I made
when I was ten
436
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,711
than become negative
and cynical.
437
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:16,781
Look, I really don't wanna
crush your childhood dreams,
438
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,283
but I bet in your dreams
439
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:21,086
you weren't losing an election
by 70 points.
440
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,988
You need to get tougher,
Leslie.
441
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,056
You just have to.
442
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,092
You need to get tougher.
443
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:30,228
You were pretty easy
to take down.
444
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,296
Thanks.
445
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,782
Ron Swanson!
446
00:15:33,816 --> 00:15:35,433
Just the man
I wanted to see.
447
00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:37,986
I'm going to be going
to a seminar
448
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,789
on the art of
the japanese tea ceremony...
449
00:15:40,823 --> 00:15:43,241
Or chakat the Pawnee
community college,
450
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,743
and I thought you might like
to come with me.
451
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,578
Why?
452
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,179
I know how much
you value silence.
453
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,081
A fair point.
454
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,017
But we did just
have lunch last week,
455
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,352
so I feel like we've spent
enough social time together
456
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,455
for the foreseeable...Ever.
457
00:15:57,473 --> 00:15:58,790
All right, well,
if you change your mind,
458
00:15:58,808 --> 00:16:00,175
you know where to find me.
459
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,627
Donna Meagle!
Chris Traeger!
460
00:16:02,645 --> 00:16:04,980
For some godforsaken reason
that man is suddenly determined
461
00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:06,631
to hang on with me.
462
00:16:06,649 --> 00:16:08,133
You mean hang out?
463
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,801
What is wrong with him?
464
00:16:09,819 --> 00:16:11,036
I don't know, he's got you
doing Ben's job,
465
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,570
eating lunch with him
like Ben used to.
466
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,106
Maybe he just misses
his little buddy.
467
00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:18,176
Ow.
468
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,245
Let's get you home
and get me some ice cream.
469
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,379
Here's your bill.
470
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,198
Whoa, yeah,
won't be needing that.
471
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:24,849
I've got
the free medicine card.
472
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:28,019
Uh, there's a $500 deductible
for dental procedures.
473
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:29,587
Oh, I think you're wrong.
474
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,157
We have the insurance thing.
475
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,225
I believe we're covered.
It's still $500.
476
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,294
Let's see here.
477
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,197
Oh, because,
you know what...
478
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,383
Let's go!
Dine and dash.
479
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,518
Out of the way!
480
00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:45,870
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
481
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,105
Ah!
482
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,890
Ah, call an ambulance!
483
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:52,177
A different ambulance than
the one I ran into.
484
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:55,580
This is city council
candidate Leslie Knope
485
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,682
when she was ten years old.
486
00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,517
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope.
487
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,819
I love Pawnee.
488
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,821
And I want to make it
even better.
489
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,923
Better schools,
safer streets,
490
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,826
and a more progressive tax
on residential properties.
491
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:12,063
This is city council
candidate Bobby Newport today.
492
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,465
People keep asking me:
493
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,567
Bobby, what are you gonna do
once you get into office?
494
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:19,137
Um, I'm pretty sure
I'll figure it out.
495
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,424
Leslie Knope had better
ideas when she was ten
496
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,843
than Bobby Newport has now.
497
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,244
They do have
one thing in common.
498
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:28,212
Both: I like dogs.
499
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:30,081
For a better Pawnee,
500
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,716
vote Knope for city council.
501
00:17:31,734 --> 00:17:34,018
Well, we already have
a thousand views.
502
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,154
Yeah, but no calls
from reporters,
503
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,405
no interview requests.
504
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,524
I don't care.
I'm proud of it.
505
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,192
You sure?
506
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,294
It is accurate about
my opponent, it does not take...
507
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,229
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold that thought.
508
00:17:45,247 --> 00:17:47,732
Ron Swanson!
What a pleasant surprise.
509
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:48,900
And who's this?
510
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:51,636
This is a great friend
of mine.
511
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:54,272
He is a fellow
who works in the building
512
00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:57,542
and he is named Dennis.
Kyle.
513
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,745
He strongly enjoys
japanese culture,
514
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,514
and I thought he might
wanna go with you
515
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:04,315
to the thing.
516
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,483
- The tea ceremony.
- Yes.
517
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,801
You're a brother
japanophile?
518
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:10,188
I was eating rice,
and Ron made me come up here.
519
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:12,123
But sure,
that sounds fun.
520
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,108
Arigato.
521
00:18:13,142 --> 00:18:16,194
Ron, a moment.
522
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:19,164
All right, pal, level with me.
What's going on?
523
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:22,567
Well, you seemed like
you wanted a friend.
524
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,036
No, no, no, no.
525
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,038
I'm not lonely.
I have me.
526
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:29,607
And 4,000 Facebook friends
and a hot girlfriend.
527
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,776
I wanted to spend time
with you,
528
00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:34,245
because I have to replace Ben
as assistant city manager
529
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,414
and I was giving you
a tryout of sorts.
530
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,784
Now, I'll mull my options
for the next few months,
531
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,419
but I'd love you
to keep an open mind.
532
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,456
Kyle-San!
Arigato!
533
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:45,640
Mr. Newport, hello.
534
00:18:45,674 --> 00:18:46,791
Hi.
535
00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:48,960
Leslie Knope.
Ben Wyatt.
536
00:18:48,978 --> 00:18:50,061
- Yeah, hi.
- Good to see you.
537
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:51,563
Nice to see you.
You guys want anything?
538
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:53,815
This is a restaurant,
so they have food and stuff.
539
00:18:53,849 --> 00:18:55,066
- I'll take a milkshake.
- We're good.
540
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,235
No, we're good.
What can we do for you?
541
00:18:57,269 --> 00:19:01,973
Yes, um, why'd you guys
post that video of me, man?
542
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,042
I mean, that didn't
make me feel good.
543
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,345
It was... it was mean.
You guys are mean.
544
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:09,781
Well, we used your own ad,
545
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,983
so I don't think
it was mean.
546
00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:13,551
All right, let me
lay it out for you.
547
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,753
My friends keep sending me
links to that video
548
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,489
and they just
make fun of me.
549
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,991
So just stop running, okay?
550
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:22,010
Just... that... stop.
551
00:19:22,044 --> 00:19:23,044
Stop running the ad?
552
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,529
No, stop running
the campaign.
553
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,231
What?
554
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,432
Just quit.
555
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,400
It would be so cool of you
if you just quit.
556
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,469
Then I can win the election,
557
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:32,670
and I'll have a big party,
558
00:19:32,688 --> 00:19:34,205
and I'll put you both
on the guest list,
559
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,523
plus one.
560
00:19:35,558 --> 00:19:37,058
I'm gonna have a man
who does magic.
561
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,443
He's really good.
562
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:40,845
Not, like, cheesy magic.
Like, good magic.
563
00:19:40,863 --> 00:19:44,082
We're not gonna quit
the campaign.
564
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,483
Why would we do that?
565
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,653
Because I want it.
566
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,721
Come on, give me it.
567
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,523
Give me it.
Give me it.
568
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:52,857
Come on, give me it.
569
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,092
Just give me the election.
570
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,577
I'm sorry, please.
571
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,045
Please.
572
00:19:57,079 --> 00:19:59,597
Well, Leslie, he does make
a compelling argument.
573
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:03,268
Come on, ugh!
Come on, guy.
574
00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:05,036
- Bobby.
- Ah, it's not padded!
575
00:20:05,054 --> 00:20:06,204
Can I ask you a question?
576
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,089
Why are you even
running for office?
577
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,607
You know what,
I need something to do
578
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,075
to get my dad off my back.
579
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,577
This seemed easy.
580
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:14,078
What about you,
why are you doing it?
581
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,547
Who's your dad?
582
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:17,649
I'm running for office because
I want to improve the lives
583
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:18,983
of the people that I love
584
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,385
and the city that's
the greatest city in the world.
585
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,220
What?
What does that even mean?
586
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:23,621
Hey, I've got an idea.
587
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,724
How 'bout you quit running,
then I win,
588
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,060
but then I let you do
all the work.
589
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:30,361
I'm not going anywhere,
590
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,396
and we are gonna debate soon,
591
00:20:32,414 --> 00:20:35,333
and I need to warn you,
I know my stuff.
592
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:38,286
So you should toughen up.
593
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,740
Why are you guys smiling?
I feel bad.
594
00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:43,791
Hey, quick question.
595
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,293
That little girl
from your video.
596
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,794
Oh, my God, she's so cute.
597
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,079
Do you think you can
talk to her
598
00:20:48,097 --> 00:20:50,431
and let her do an ad for me?
599
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,083
That girl is me
600
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:54,218
as a ten-year-old.
601
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,321
How'd you do that?
602
00:20:57,859 --> 00:21:00,091
Maybe you should see
one of the other doctors.
603
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,126
No.
No more doctors.
604
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,911
They're a bunch
of scam artists.
605
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,613
They reel you in
with the free stuff.
606
00:21:05,648 --> 00:21:07,599
Next thing you know, bam,
607
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,051
you run into an ambulance.
608
00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:11,586
Every time.
609
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,805
Let's just go home
and care for each other.
610
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,156
We could buy a sewing kit.
611
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,725
You could sew up my lip
underneath a bridge somewhere.
612
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,744
Mmm, so romantic.
613
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,780
- - Oh, sorry, I forgot.
614
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,032
Let's go.
All right.
615
00:21:24,066 --> 00:21:26,301
Do you think sewing kits
are covered by insurance?
616
00:21:26,335 --> 00:21:28,102
Or groceries
or, like, Xbox games?
617
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,103
What is insurance?
618
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,055
I don't know.
Who cares?
619
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:32,088
Sync and corrected by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.com/