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Oh, goody, you're all here.
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00:00:03,343 --> 00:00:06,079
Now, I know I'm not supposed to talk
about my campaign in the office,
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00:00:06,199 --> 00:00:09,230
but last night I've made a decision
about who should be my campaign manager.
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This is a huge job.
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This is going to require
a lot of late night,
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one-on-one jam sessions
with me,
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and we're going to bounce ideas
off of each other,
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you're going to have to take
calls for me,
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any time, day or night.
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The person I have chosen is,
drum roll please,
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Ann Perkins! Yay!
Give it up for Ann!
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Good choice.
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Leslie, I don't know the first
thing about running
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a political campaign.
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Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.
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You're smart as a whip
and you're cool under pressure.
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You've resuscitated a human
heart in your bare hands.
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No, I haven't.
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- You haven't?
- No!
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You will.
You're that good of a nurse.
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What about Ben?
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I mean, he ran for mayor
at 18 and won.
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Ben is poison in my campaign.
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Our relationship is the reason
why my advisors pulled out.
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- I--
- Ann,
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don't listen to your head
or your heart.
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Just look at my eyes
and say "yes."
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- Okay, yes.
- Yes!
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- I believe in you, Ann.
- Thank you.
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And your first job
as my campaign manager
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is to start dressing like one.
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I don't want to have this
conversation again.
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Again? You just hired me eight
seconds ago.
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Wow. You're doing
a really bad job.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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- William, Elizabeth.
- Leslie, hi.
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Hi. What are you--
Are you coming to see me?
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Did you hear that I'm
relaunching my campaign?
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Actually, no, sorry.
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We weren't here to see you.
We've been meeting with
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other potential candidates
for city council.
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Oh, really? So, my campaign
ends and, just like that,
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you find someone else and run theirs?
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Yes, that's our job.
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I know.
Good luck, but, uh,
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I just had a big meeting
with my new advisory board,
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and they're brilliant and amazing.
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They're real killers.
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Leslie, I tried to make
ramen in the coffee pot
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and I broke everything.
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Thank you, Andy.
I'll be right in.
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Well, uh, good luck,
Leslie. Honestly.
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Well, we don't need luck.
We are a rocket ship.
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We are relaunching,
and we're going to blast past
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your cann--
Huh, they're gone.
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It's true--I no longer have
highly-trained,
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professional campaign managers.
So what?
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Are most murders committed by
highly-trained,
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professional assassins?
No.
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They're committed by friends
and coworkers.
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That analogy was way better
in my head.
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Hi.
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Champion? Oh my gosh,
there you are, puppy.
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- That's a good boy.
- That is a three-legged dog.
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His name is Champion, because
he's the dog world champion.
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Okay, I have to ask this, I'm sorry,
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but how many legs did that dog
have when you found him?
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Three! That's what
makes him the best.
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He can do more with three legs
than most dogs can do with four.
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Except for digging.
He's really bad at digging.
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And you remember what you said
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about making decisions in the house?
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You want to be involved.
We get that, so...
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You just say the word,
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and Champion goes back to the pound,
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where he can be put down
and killed forever.
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I'm not gonna send
a three-legged dog to his death.
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Yes!
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But I'm not gonna
take care of him for you.
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Well, it would be nice
if you helped a little.
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Because, unlike you,
Andy and I have jobs.
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Cruel, but fair.
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So Leslie and I have
come up with the theme
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for the campaign relaunch rally.
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"The Comeback Kid."
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Everyone loves
a good comeback story. Rocky.
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Robert Downey, Jr.
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Terminator said,
"I'll be back," and he was.
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Also making a comeback--
the casual Hawaiian shirt.
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Well, well, well,
look, who's ahead of the curve.
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I was joking.
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You should soak that
in bleach and burn it.
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Okay, so, the rally's
going to be held tomorrow
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00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:01,965
at the Pawnee Sports Building.
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April, you finalized a rental, right?
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00:04:04,135 --> 00:04:05,502
Shut up, Ann.
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I told you never to talk to me.
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That was Champion.
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Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
Bad dog!
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Yes, everything's fine
with the rental.
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Ron, you're constructing the stage?
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Yes, ma'am.
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Leslie wanted to hire
a contractor to build a stage.
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I don't want to paint
with a broad brush here,
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but every single contractor
in the world
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is a miserable, incompetent thief.
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Seal the edges by crimping
the fork--aw, crap.
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Ed!
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What's up, Chris?
Come on in, man.
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I already did.
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So, uh, how you been?
How are you doing?
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- How are you?
- Great, actually.
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I'm just learning how to
make a "cali-zoin-za."
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Or, as you Americans
like to say, calzones.
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- Do you want one?
- No, I find calzone fatty,
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and unnecessary.
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So, you've hit a bit of a rough patch,
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and I care about you,
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so I just want to make sure
you're doing okay.
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Chris, honestly, I'm great.
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I'm just exploring whatever fun
activity pops into my brain.
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Like, check this out.
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I'm teaching myself how to do
Claymation videos.
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Isn't this just so cool?
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It is so cool!
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Ben is massively depressed,
and he needs my help.
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You look like a real campaign manager.
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Oh, thanks, that's because
I googled "campaign manager"
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and noticed that they wear
a lot of dark colors.
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See, there's more things
to look at on the Internet
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- besides naked guys, Ann.
- What?
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I need a team update,
campaign manager.
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Okay. Pistol Pete Disellio
will be here in five minutes.
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I still can't believe
that you got him.
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Ann got local hero Pistol
Pete Disellio
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to endorse me at the rally.
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In 1992, Pistol Pete's
last-second dunk
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against Eagleton High clinched
a comeback victory
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00:05:50,107 --> 00:05:52,575
for the Pawnee Central
drunken savages.
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Team mascot later changed.
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Akash, buddy, of course
I came to you first.
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You're the best carpet man in Pawnee.
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But here's my question--
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Do your carpets match your drapes?
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How do you make any event classy
on a budget?
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Red carpet.
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My entire apartment is red carpet.
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On top of that,
leading into my bedroom,
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a second red carpet.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe?
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Red carpet insole.
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Everywhere I go,
I'm walking on red carpet.
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Is there even enough room
for everyone?
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- Here, sit on my lap.
- No, that's humiliating.
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Can't I at least sit on Andy's lap?
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No, that's Champion's spot.
He called it.
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Tom, we're already late.
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Now, be a man, and sit
on that girl's lap.
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Yes, sir.
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00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:42,926
Hi, Pete Disellio.
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We can call you Pistol, right?
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I prefer Pete.
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Oh. Okay, got it.
I'm Leslie Knope.
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We overlapped a year
at Pawnee Central.
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You probably remember my voice
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from the morning announcements.
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This is my campaign manager,
Ann Perkins.
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Hi, nice to meet you.
Come on in.
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Oh, thanks.
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- I'm excited to be here.
- Ah! We're excited to have you.
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00:07:00,578 --> 00:07:04,097
Ann is killing it.
My campaign team is unstoppable.
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This rally is going to be awesome.
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Oh, my God, I'm feeling it!
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I'm gonna break dance!
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Leslie?
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Coming! Thank God.
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00:07:22,004 --> 00:07:25,423
Oh, Champion is a way better
kisser than you are, babe.
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00:07:25,458 --> 00:07:26,758
- Nuh-uh!
- Yes, he is.
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00:07:26,792 --> 00:07:29,549
He's even a better kisser
than me. Here, try some.
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Okay, stop it.
He's drooling on me!
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Oh!
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- This is unsafe.
- Ha ha!
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00:07:35,551 --> 00:07:36,685
Oh, we should do it for the kids.
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00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:38,436
Kids love it, Ron.
Just for the kids.
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Hi, kids! Hey!
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00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:43,608
Oh, look.
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00:07:43,643 --> 00:07:45,644
The police even love it.
They're sirening back to us.
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That's awesome, I was
going to tell them that we--
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00:07:47,513 --> 00:07:51,116
Heard ya, bud!
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00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:54,236
And then, you come out,
and you dunk the ball,
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00:07:54,287 --> 00:07:57,622
and you say, "Voting for Leslie
Knope is a slam dunk!"
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00:07:57,657 --> 00:07:58,757
You can still dunk, right?
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00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:02,627
- Oh, I can, but I won't.
- Sorry?
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00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:03,828
Look, everywhere I go,
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00:08:03,863 --> 00:08:05,363
everybody wants me to
talk about that dunk,
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00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:06,531
and that game.
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00:08:06,566 --> 00:08:07,799
It feels like I'm living in the past.
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00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:11,720
But the past is great.
The jitterbug, stagecoaches,
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00:08:11,754 --> 00:08:12,904
Herman Munster.
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00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:14,472
Look, Leslie, I read up on you.
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00:08:14,507 --> 00:08:16,074
You've done great stuff
for our parks system
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00:08:16,108 --> 00:08:18,276
and I will happily endorse you...
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00:08:18,311 --> 00:08:19,911
As Peter Disellio,
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00:08:19,946 --> 00:08:21,646
regional distributor
for Derwin ham loafs,
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00:08:21,681 --> 00:08:25,150
but if this is about who I was,
or what I did when I was 17,
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00:08:25,184 --> 00:08:26,952
I'm out of here.
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00:08:26,986 --> 00:08:28,737
Let's not talk about dunking anymore.
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00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:29,887
Let's talk about what you want to do.
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00:08:29,906 --> 00:08:31,656
- Okay.
- I think you want to dunk.
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00:08:31,691 --> 00:08:33,124
I'm not going to dunk the ball.
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00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:35,327
What about a layup?
212
00:08:35,361 --> 00:08:37,746
Officer, I've been operating
heavy machinery
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00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:40,165
since I was eight years old.
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00:08:40,199 --> 00:08:43,118
Now, I respect you
and your service to this town
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00:08:43,169 --> 00:08:44,302
and your country,
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00:08:44,337 --> 00:08:48,006
but what laws are we breaking exactly?
217
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,941
Well, you got four people
in the front seat,
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00:08:49,976 --> 00:08:51,776
nobody's wearing a seat belt,
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00:08:51,811 --> 00:08:53,295
you were speeding
and blasting your horn
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00:08:53,346 --> 00:08:54,779
through the hospital zone,
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00:08:54,814 --> 00:08:57,966
the rear of the vehicle's open,
debris has been falling out,
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00:08:58,017 --> 00:09:00,151
and you don't have a commercial
license to drive a truck.
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00:09:00,186 --> 00:09:03,722
Okay. Well, we have
a philosophical difference
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00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:05,974
on what constitutes a law.
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00:09:06,025 --> 00:09:07,258
I need to see your hands
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00:09:07,276 --> 00:09:09,427
and could you step out of
the vehicle, please?
227
00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:12,948
Hi. I just wanted you to know
we're about to be arrested.
228
00:09:12,982 --> 00:09:14,499
Oh my God, April, that's horrible.
229
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:16,151
Where are you?
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00:09:16,202 --> 00:09:17,953
"My mother's butt," really?
That's really helpful.
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00:09:17,987 --> 00:09:19,371
Let me talk to her.
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00:09:19,405 --> 00:09:22,207
April, this is city council
candidate Leslie Knope.
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00:09:22,241 --> 00:09:23,608
Do not make any trouble.
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00:09:23,626 --> 00:09:26,795
Sit tight.
I'm on my way.
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00:09:26,829 --> 00:09:28,630
- Whoa. You just hung up on her?
- She'd already hung up on me.
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00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:30,482
Okay, I'm going to go down
there and get them out,
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00:09:30,516 --> 00:09:32,017
because men in uniform love me.
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00:09:32,051 --> 00:09:34,653
You have to get Pistol Pete
to make that shot.
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00:09:34,687 --> 00:09:36,421
Okay, but if I don't,
it's no big deal, right?
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00:09:36,455 --> 00:09:38,757
- You'll just make your speech?
- He's our surprise headliner.
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00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:40,792
The whole town loves him.
I'm polling at 1%.
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00:09:40,826 --> 00:09:42,644
He must dunk, Ann.
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00:09:42,678 --> 00:09:44,346
Do whatever it takes.
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00:09:44,397 --> 00:09:45,963
You know, anything short
of sexual favors.
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00:09:45,982 --> 00:09:47,432
- What?
- I do not--
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00:09:47,466 --> 00:09:49,067
I repeat, I do not
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00:09:49,101 --> 00:09:51,036
want you to tempt him
with sexual favors.
248
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:52,537
- I wasn't going to.
- Good, I wouldn't either.
249
00:09:52,571 --> 00:09:53,905
That's where I draw the line.
250
00:09:53,939 --> 00:09:55,140
Although, I am a little offended
251
00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:56,157
that you wouldn't do that for me.
252
00:09:56,192 --> 00:09:57,692
- Go.
- Right.
253
00:09:57,743 --> 00:10:01,946
- So, Ben...Why Calzone?
- Glad you asked, Chris.
254
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:04,315
You know, there's fast food
hamburgers.
255
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,483
There's fast food Mexican.
256
00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:06,984
There's fast food Chinese.
Blah blah blah.
257
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:08,420
Have you ever wondered
258
00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:10,755
why there isn't a fast food
option for Italian food?
259
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:12,123
What about pizza?
260
00:10:12,157 --> 00:10:14,659
Pizza?
Never heard of it.
261
00:10:14,677 --> 00:10:16,428
That's what people will be
saying in 20 years,
262
00:10:16,462 --> 00:10:18,830
because pizza is old news, Chris.
263
00:10:18,848 --> 00:10:21,716
Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.
264
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,218
Never thought of it that way.
265
00:10:23,269 --> 00:10:25,020
What I'm talking about is
a portable, delicious meal,
266
00:10:25,054 --> 00:10:26,438
that is it's own container.
267
00:10:26,472 --> 00:10:29,574
It's a whole new spin
on Italian fast casual dining.
268
00:10:29,608 --> 00:10:31,443
Amazing.
269
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:33,812
And you of all people will like this.
270
00:10:33,846 --> 00:10:34,813
I'm gonna use
low-fat ingredients.
271
00:10:34,847 --> 00:10:36,114
Game-changer.
272
00:10:36,148 --> 00:10:39,150
And I will call my new
Italian fast casual eatery
273
00:10:39,184 --> 00:10:43,738
"The Low-cal Calzone Zone."
274
00:10:43,789 --> 00:10:46,825
That idea is literally
the greatest idea
275
00:10:46,859 --> 00:10:47,892
I've ever heard in my life.
276
00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:50,061
That idea is terrible.
277
00:10:50,096 --> 00:10:51,863
Glen, you're killing me.
278
00:10:51,881 --> 00:10:53,998
They broke about 50 laws, Knope.
279
00:10:54,032 --> 00:10:56,668
And that girl, she tried to get
that gimp dog to bite me.
280
00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:00,037
Look, I could sit here
and fill out all the paperwork,
281
00:11:00,056 --> 00:11:02,540
but you and I both know that
you'd rather go home to Debra,
282
00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:05,209
have a nice home-cooked meal,
and do what comes naturally.
283
00:11:05,227 --> 00:11:06,511
That's not appropriate.
284
00:11:06,545 --> 00:11:08,680
You know that I'm gonna
pay all the fines.
285
00:11:08,714 --> 00:11:12,934
I'm in the middle of a campaign
rally, and this is my team.
286
00:11:12,985 --> 00:11:14,936
- I need them, please.
- Fine.
287
00:11:14,987 --> 00:11:16,788
But unless one of you
has a commercial license,
288
00:11:16,822 --> 00:11:19,724
you can't take that truck.
289
00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:22,610
It would just mean so much to us.
290
00:11:22,661 --> 00:11:24,696
I mean, you're a living legend.
291
00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:27,799
They still air that game every
Friday night on cable access.
292
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,134
Yeah, well, being a living legend is
293
00:11:29,168 --> 00:11:30,585
sort of a double-edged sword.
294
00:11:30,619 --> 00:11:32,470
Everybody in this town
still calls me "Pistol."
295
00:11:32,505 --> 00:11:35,457
Tell me more about that, Peter.
296
00:11:35,508 --> 00:11:38,793
I mean, yes, that dunk,
it made me famous,
297
00:11:38,844 --> 00:11:42,213
but sometimes...
298
00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:46,184
Sometimes life dunks you.
299
00:11:46,218 --> 00:11:48,252
Hey, man, you want to go for a jog?
300
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:50,054
Just, sort of, kick out the cobwebs,
301
00:11:50,088 --> 00:11:51,940
get some endorphins going?
302
00:11:51,974 --> 00:11:53,608
Oh, no, thanks, Chris.
303
00:11:53,642 --> 00:11:55,660
Kind of tearing this Claymation video
304
00:11:55,694 --> 00:11:57,428
a new one right now.
305
00:11:57,463 --> 00:11:59,063
You know, Ben, I really think
306
00:11:59,097 --> 00:12:00,482
you need to take a step back here.
307
00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:02,433
I think getting some
perspective would be good.
308
00:12:02,451 --> 00:12:03,968
What are you talking about?
309
00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:05,370
I've known you a long time.
310
00:12:05,404 --> 00:12:09,774
And, right now, you need help.
311
00:12:09,809 --> 00:12:12,610
- With my Claymaish?
- With your life.
312
00:12:12,628 --> 00:12:16,881
You are wildly, insanely depressed.
313
00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:18,316
Depressed?
314
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:20,051
I'm the furthest thing from depressed.
315
00:12:20,085 --> 00:12:21,953
I mean, look at what
I've accomplished.
316
00:12:21,971 --> 00:12:23,838
Do you see him?
317
00:12:23,889 --> 00:12:25,840
Do you think a depressed
person could make this?
318
00:12:25,891 --> 00:12:29,344
No.
319
00:12:29,395 --> 00:12:31,629
- That's all we can fit in here.
- No problem.
320
00:12:31,647 --> 00:12:33,565
This is going to be fine.
We're all going to be fine,
321
00:12:33,599 --> 00:12:34,966
because the team is still together,
322
00:12:34,984 --> 00:12:36,734
and there's nothing the team can't do.
323
00:12:36,769 --> 00:12:40,071
Wait, I think Champion
has to go to the bathroom.
324
00:12:40,105 --> 00:12:43,675
- Oh! He shall do it in the car!
- Answer your phone, Ann.
325
00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:45,176
That's what life is like
326
00:12:45,211 --> 00:12:47,345
in a strict Roman Catholic household.
327
00:12:47,379 --> 00:12:48,947
Of course, my father,
328
00:12:48,981 --> 00:12:50,031
he was more stick than carrot
329
00:12:50,082 --> 00:12:51,749
when it came to matters of discipline.
330
00:12:51,784 --> 00:12:54,953
I'm sorry, but the Ben Wyatt
that I know,
331
00:12:54,987 --> 00:12:57,555
I just don't think he'd be
happy sitting here
332
00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:59,174
faffing around.
333
00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:00,508
I'm not faffing around.
334
00:13:00,543 --> 00:13:02,343
I've sunk myself into my hobbies.
335
00:13:02,378 --> 00:13:05,930
Here, I'll show you my
Claymation project, okay?
336
00:13:05,965 --> 00:13:08,066
Now, I've been working
pretty hard on this,
337
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,768
and...I think
it's really good.
338
00:13:10,803 --> 00:13:13,104
So just hang on to your hat, okay?
339
00:13:13,138 --> 00:13:15,023
Here it goes.
340
00:13:17,026 --> 00:13:18,676
Oh, how great.
341
00:13:23,883 --> 00:13:26,217
♪ Stand in the place
where you-- ♪
342
00:13:29,889 --> 00:13:34,125
- Did you pause it?
- No, I--hang on.
343
00:13:36,161 --> 00:13:38,496
♪ Stand in the place
where you-- ♪
344
00:13:43,936 --> 00:13:47,805
Oh, my God.
That's the whole thing.
345
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,275
- That's three weeks of work.
- You're gonna be okay.
346
00:13:50,309 --> 00:13:53,845
No, no, no, no, I'm not.
You see, in my head,
347
00:13:53,879 --> 00:13:56,481
I thought that was really,
really cool.
348
00:13:56,515 --> 00:13:59,083
I emailed Leslie two days ago
349
00:13:59,118 --> 00:14:01,286
and I compared it to Avatar,
350
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,688
Chris, and how can it not be longer?
351
00:14:03,722 --> 00:14:06,491
Okay, look, what you're
feeling, right now
352
00:14:06,525 --> 00:14:09,160
is regret and shame.
353
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:13,364
Okay, no word from Ann.
354
00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:14,916
April, I need a status report.
355
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:17,835
- How's it looking out there?
- Perfect, but just one thing.
356
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:19,437
It's not a basketball court any more.
357
00:14:19,471 --> 00:14:20,788
It's an ice skating rink.
358
00:14:20,839 --> 00:14:22,340
Wait, what? Why?
What happened?
359
00:14:22,374 --> 00:14:24,509
The stupid guy I called to
book this place didn't tell me
360
00:14:24,543 --> 00:14:26,544
they took off the basketball
floor for a hockey game.
361
00:14:26,578 --> 00:14:28,880
Or maybe he did tell me,
but he was so stupid and boring
362
00:14:28,914 --> 00:14:30,098
that I wasn't listening,
363
00:14:30,132 --> 00:14:31,249
and either way, it was his fault,
364
00:14:31,283 --> 00:14:33,051
because he was stupid and I hated him.
365
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:34,485
Ron, how's the stage coming?
366
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,222
Well, since we had to
jettison the bulk of the wood,
367
00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:39,524
this is the biggest I could make it.
368
00:14:39,558 --> 00:14:41,092
Oh, my God.
369
00:14:41,126 --> 00:14:44,228
Good lord, what happened
to the rest of my face?
370
00:14:44,262 --> 00:14:45,930
We had to "Jetsons"
most of the poster too,
371
00:14:45,948 --> 00:14:47,148
but I kind of like it,
372
00:14:47,199 --> 00:14:50,702
'cause windows
are the eyes to the house.
373
00:14:50,736 --> 00:14:52,370
Wow.
374
00:14:52,404 --> 00:14:55,239
- Okay, I got Pistol Pete.
- Good, where is he?
375
00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:57,241
Right now, he's curled up
in the back seat of my car,
376
00:14:57,275 --> 00:15:00,178
talking about his father,
who is a piece of work.
377
00:15:00,212 --> 00:15:02,213
I actually think he did the best
he could for a single father,
378
00:15:02,247 --> 00:15:03,915
but I may be too close
to the situation.
379
00:15:03,949 --> 00:15:05,667
Anyway, the important news
is that he's here.
380
00:15:05,718 --> 00:15:07,218
Good. Is he going to
dunk for me?
381
00:15:07,252 --> 00:15:09,587
I'm not sure, I couldn't
hear through all the crying.
382
00:15:09,621 --> 00:15:11,288
- He's crying?
- No, I was crying.
383
00:15:11,307 --> 00:15:12,557
It's been a stressful day,
384
00:15:12,591 --> 00:15:13,758
and he's had a really rough life.
385
00:15:13,792 --> 00:15:15,193
Oh, my God.
386
00:15:15,227 --> 00:15:16,427
We should cancel it, right?
Maybe we should cancel it?
387
00:15:16,462 --> 00:15:17,662
- Yeah.
- Jerry...
388
00:15:17,696 --> 00:15:19,180
You were in charge of getting a crowd.
389
00:15:19,231 --> 00:15:20,765
Please tell me that you pulled
a Jerry, and no one's here.
390
00:15:20,799 --> 00:15:22,100
Okay, well, first of all,
391
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:23,568
I don't like it when you guys
use that term.
392
00:15:23,602 --> 00:15:25,770
But for the record, I came through.
393
00:15:25,804 --> 00:15:28,139
There are almost
a hundred people out there!
394
00:15:28,157 --> 00:15:31,025
Oh, damn it, Jerry, you just
had to do your job, didn't you?
395
00:15:31,076 --> 00:15:32,977
Yeah, can't you do anything
wrong, Jerry?
396
00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:34,979
I've been looking
at our utter and complete lack
397
00:15:34,997 --> 00:15:37,332
of experience as a positive thing,
398
00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:38,833
but I'm starting to think
399
00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:40,651
it actually might be a problem.
400
00:15:44,013 --> 00:15:45,384
Okay, guys, everybody listen up.
401
00:15:45,504 --> 00:15:47,180
I just wanted to say thank you.
402
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:49,828
You've all volunteered
your time and, no matter what,
403
00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:51,663
I am eternally grateful for it.
404
00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:52,831
Now, I'm going to go out there,
405
00:15:52,865 --> 00:15:54,666
and I'm going to
announce the relaunch,
406
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,268
and I'm going to muddle through
this thing as best I can.
407
00:15:57,303 --> 00:15:59,470
You should all leave,
and when this thing is over,
408
00:15:59,505 --> 00:16:00,805
I'll meet you at the nearest bar.
409
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,774
That would be Hurley's.
410
00:16:02,808 --> 00:16:04,125
- Oh, it's karaoke tonight!
- Yes!
411
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,529
No, no, no, guys.
No. We're not leaving, okay?
412
00:16:07,563 --> 00:16:09,080
We're the reason
Leslie's in this mess.
413
00:16:09,114 --> 00:16:11,983
It's our mess.
We're going to stay here
414
00:16:12,017 --> 00:16:14,102
and we're going to
go out there as a team.
415
00:16:14,153 --> 00:16:18,907
Or, we go as a team to Hurley's.
416
00:16:18,941 --> 00:16:20,692
No, Ann's right.
417
00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:23,962
We're a team.
We're all going out together.
418
00:16:23,996 --> 00:16:25,129
Let's give this crowd a show.
419
00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:27,749
Go, team!
420
00:16:31,837 --> 00:16:35,573
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
421
00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:37,909
♪ get on your feet ♪
422
00:16:38,928 --> 00:16:40,445
Tom?
423
00:16:40,479 --> 00:16:41,930
Couldn't afford enough premium carpet
424
00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:43,414
to get us to the stage.
425
00:16:43,432 --> 00:16:44,549
I mean, it was a short walk,
426
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:46,217
but it was pretty luxurious, right?
427
00:16:46,251 --> 00:16:48,252
Okay.
428
00:16:54,643 --> 00:16:55,977
Everybody smile and wave.
429
00:16:59,481 --> 00:17:03,868
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
430
00:17:03,903 --> 00:17:06,104
♪ get on your feet ♪
431
00:17:07,373 --> 00:17:09,908
Stop leaning on my arm, Andy.
432
00:17:13,879 --> 00:17:15,413
I'm holding the dog.
433
00:17:15,447 --> 00:17:17,498
He is peeing.
He is now peeing.
434
00:17:17,549 --> 00:17:19,283
I am putting him down.
435
00:17:19,301 --> 00:17:21,052
No, Ron, he only has three legs!
436
00:17:22,454 --> 00:17:25,023
- Get off me!
- No, I'm scared!
437
00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:26,891
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
438
00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:29,494
Ron? Ron?
There's no stairs.
439
00:17:29,528 --> 00:17:31,128
How do I get onto the stage?
440
00:17:32,564 --> 00:17:33,998
Oh!
441
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,301
♪ And take some action ♪
442
00:17:43,659 --> 00:17:46,160
♪ Get on your feet ♪
443
00:17:48,013 --> 00:17:51,182
♪ get up and make it happen ♪
444
00:17:51,216 --> 00:17:53,418
♪ get on your feet ♪
445
00:17:53,452 --> 00:17:56,020
Okay.
446
00:17:56,055 --> 00:17:59,590
Uhh! Uhh!
447
00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:00,591
Uhh!
448
00:18:01,627 --> 00:18:03,027
♪ Get on your feet ♪
449
00:18:03,062 --> 00:18:06,798
Mm-mm.
Here you go. Drink up,
450
00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:09,667
because it has every herb
in my herb belt.
451
00:18:09,685 --> 00:18:12,103
Oh. Tastes like a belt.
452
00:18:12,137 --> 00:18:15,306
I know, isn't it awful?
But it works wonderfully.
453
00:18:15,340 --> 00:18:16,891
So, tell me.
454
00:18:16,942 --> 00:18:19,577
Do you admit that you're depressed?
455
00:18:19,611 --> 00:18:21,546
How did you know?
I didn't even know.
456
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,781
The Letters to Cleo t-shirt,
the unshaven face,
457
00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:26,684
the Doc Martins, and your hair
does not have that normal,
458
00:18:26,702 --> 00:18:30,521
uptight, rigid, inflexible
Ben Wyatt sense of fun.
459
00:18:30,539 --> 00:18:34,058
You can't hide
these things from friends.
460
00:18:34,093 --> 00:18:36,761
I think I'm feeling better.
461
00:18:36,795 --> 00:18:39,297
Herbal smoothie,
you have done it again.
462
00:18:39,331 --> 00:18:43,001
As a loyal pawneean, I've
always been proud of this town,
463
00:18:43,035 --> 00:18:45,069
and, I, oh, um, sorry.
464
00:18:45,104 --> 00:18:47,972
My cards got out of order here
when they fell.
465
00:18:48,007 --> 00:18:54,645
Together, we can defeat
obese children.
466
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,765
I'm sure that was something
positive, originally.
467
00:18:57,816 --> 00:19:01,319
I'm sorry, okay, this is
just a disaster, isn't it?
468
00:19:01,353 --> 00:19:06,391
This is the worst political
event ever in history.
469
00:19:06,425 --> 00:19:10,728
Well, um, I can assure
you people in the bleachers
470
00:19:10,763 --> 00:19:13,831
that, if you follow my campaign,
it will be interesting.
471
00:19:13,866 --> 00:19:15,450
It sure will be!
472
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:17,035
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Pistol Pete,
473
00:19:17,069 --> 00:19:19,403
and around here, I'm a Pawnee legend!
474
00:19:22,124 --> 00:19:25,259
I just wanted to say that
I fully endorse Leslie Knope.
475
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:27,244
She's got a great team behind her,
476
00:19:27,262 --> 00:19:30,448
and a vote for her is a slam dunk.
477
00:19:32,768 --> 00:19:34,318
Thanks, Pistol Pete!
478
00:19:34,353 --> 00:19:36,854
Wow, we're so happy to have you.
479
00:19:36,889 --> 00:19:39,524
Oh, hey. There he goes.
480
00:19:39,558 --> 00:19:40,525
Come on, Pete!
481
00:19:40,559 --> 00:19:41,943
Oh!
482
00:19:41,977 --> 00:19:44,645
Okay, stay still.
Stay down.
483
00:19:44,696 --> 00:19:48,132
Pistol Pete, everybody.
Still got it.
484
00:19:49,818 --> 00:19:53,604
- Hey.
- Hey, how was the rally?
485
00:19:53,639 --> 00:19:55,506
- Oh, we nailed it!
- No, we didn't.
486
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:58,176
Ben, my campaign manager
and I have made a decision.
487
00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:01,279
We've decided to fire
the campaign manager--me.
488
00:20:01,313 --> 00:20:04,982
- And hire you.
- But we've talked about this.
489
00:20:05,017 --> 00:20:07,418
I don't care if you're
poison to my campaign.
490
00:20:07,453 --> 00:20:11,122
This team has a lot of heart
and zero know-how.
491
00:20:11,156 --> 00:20:12,890
You're the only one that can save us.
492
00:20:12,925 --> 00:20:15,726
Please be my campaign manager.
493
00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:18,162
You know, Leslie, Ben's really
been going through something,
494
00:20:18,197 --> 00:20:21,165
and he's on a journey, so I
don't think he's gonna be--
495
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,834
I'll do it. I'm in.
496
00:20:22,868 --> 00:20:25,403
I've done enough exploring.
I'm good.
497
00:20:25,437 --> 00:20:26,804
- Okay, great.
- Ann, you're fired.
498
00:20:26,822 --> 00:20:29,473
Oh, thank God.
499
00:20:29,491 --> 00:20:32,754
No, don't make out.
It's making Champion sad.
500
00:20:34,518 --> 00:20:41,257
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
501
00:20:41,377 --> 00:20:43,510
Surprise!
502
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:46,886
We felt really bad about
the whole dredging up your past
503
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,222
just to be publically
humiliated thing.
504
00:20:49,256 --> 00:20:52,225
- So, cookies.
- And balloons.
505
00:20:52,259 --> 00:20:55,294
Thanks, guys. It--
that's nice.
506
00:20:55,312 --> 00:20:56,562
We feel so bad.
507
00:20:56,597 --> 00:20:59,031
Is there anything else we can do?
508
00:20:59,066 --> 00:21:00,666
You could let me take you to dinner.
509
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:02,535
Yes, Ann, yes.
You should do that.
510
00:21:02,569 --> 00:21:04,570
Oh, I can't, though,
because I'm married.
511
00:21:04,605 --> 00:21:07,190
You're not married.
She's not married.
512
00:21:09,409 --> 00:21:11,410
This is uncomfortable.