1
00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,335
Hey. Hey, guys, listen.
2
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,837
Leslie's gonna
walk in and say something
3
00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:07,152
that sounds very boring but
is actually a really big deal.
4
00:00:07,222 --> 00:00:09,390
So when I give the signal,
just everybody cheer like crazy.
5
00:00:09,424 --> 00:00:10,558
Here we go.
6
00:00:10,592 --> 00:00:12,893
Well, someone just
officially enrolled
7
00:00:12,928 --> 00:00:15,496
in the Senior Executive Service
Development Candidate Program
8
00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:17,331
at the Department
of the Interior.
9
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,034
Surprise!
10
00:00:20,068 --> 00:00:21,335
Thanks.
It's a big deal.
11
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,471
So my promotion is official.
12
00:00:23,505 --> 00:00:24,905
We need to find
a place in D.C.
13
00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:26,307
because we're gonna be
splitting our time.
14
00:00:26,341 --> 00:00:27,975
I guess now is
as good a time as any
15
00:00:28,009 --> 00:00:29,510
make my announcement.
16
00:00:29,544 --> 00:00:31,846
Joe and I just closed
on a house in Seattle.
17
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,180
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
18
00:00:33,215 --> 00:00:34,515
Cheers.
19
00:00:34,549 --> 00:00:36,851
Well, actually
I have an announcement too.
20
00:00:36,885 --> 00:00:38,786
After all these years
in government,
21
00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:41,255
I've decided to finally retire.
22
00:00:41,289 --> 00:00:42,890
This is about people
who are moving, Garry.
23
00:00:42,924 --> 00:00:44,558
- Not everything is about you.
- Good point.
24
00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:45,793
Everyone's scattering.
25
00:00:45,827 --> 00:00:47,428
Well, look at it this way,
26
00:00:47,462 --> 00:00:49,263
bad news comes in threes, right?
27
00:00:49,297 --> 00:00:50,898
We're leaving,
April and Andy are leaving,
28
00:00:50,932 --> 00:00:52,533
Donna's leaving, that's three.
29
00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:53,834
Also I'm retiring.
30
00:00:53,869 --> 00:00:55,469
That's three, Garry.
31
00:00:55,504 --> 00:00:57,571
But we're probably due
for some good news.
32
00:00:57,606 --> 00:00:58,773
Good evening.
33
00:00:58,807 --> 00:01:00,341
I come to you tonight
with some good news...
34
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:01,709
Hey.
35
00:01:01,743 --> 00:01:04,044
Is not a sentence I will be
saying to you right now,
36
00:01:04,079 --> 00:01:07,982
because beloved Pawnee Mayor
Walter Gunderson has died.
37
00:01:10,986 --> 00:01:13,788
Well, you jinxed us, Garry.
Thanks a lot.
38
00:01:16,758 --> 00:01:24,632
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:33,642 --> 00:01:37,645
Walter Gunderson
served Pawnee for 39 years.
40
00:01:37,679 --> 00:01:39,613
And as per his final wish,
41
00:01:39,648 --> 00:01:41,682
his body will lie in state
42
00:01:41,716 --> 00:01:44,351
in the city council chambers
for a day,
43
00:01:44,353 --> 00:01:48,055
which is just a real cool thing
for a public space.
44
00:01:48,089 --> 00:01:50,357
Also, he sent us
a brief video message
45
00:01:50,392 --> 00:01:52,927
to be played for this event.
46
00:01:52,961 --> 00:01:55,496
Hello, Pawnee.
47
00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:59,033
My time in office
has come to an end.
48
00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:01,135
A lot has been done.
49
00:02:01,169 --> 00:02:03,804
But I wasn't really
doing very much.
50
00:02:03,839 --> 00:02:06,240
I wasn't paying attention
most of the time.
51
00:02:06,274 --> 00:02:08,843
Fortunately,
the citizens of Pawnee
52
00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:10,778
didn't pay attention either.
53
00:02:10,812 --> 00:02:13,981
So if there's credit to take,
54
00:02:14,015 --> 00:02:15,749
I will humbly take it.
55
00:02:15,784 --> 00:02:19,720
And if there is blame...
56
00:02:19,754 --> 00:02:21,355
it's your fault.
57
00:02:21,389 --> 00:02:23,224
Thank you.
58
00:02:23,258 --> 00:02:25,092
Good-bye forever.
59
00:02:25,127 --> 00:02:26,393
Uh, okay.
60
00:02:26,428 --> 00:02:28,362
Well, that was really something.
61
00:02:28,396 --> 00:02:31,365
People are dying,
moving, retiring.
62
00:02:31,399 --> 00:02:33,701
Too many endings.
Not enough beginnings.
63
00:02:33,735 --> 00:02:37,138
We need something to begin,
and I have just the thing--
64
00:02:37,172 --> 00:02:40,241
an underground
dance competition.
65
00:02:40,275 --> 00:02:42,276
I'm realizing I know nothing
about the logistics
66
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:44,144
of how to start an underground
dance competition,
67
00:02:44,179 --> 00:02:46,347
but someone here will.
68
00:02:46,381 --> 00:02:48,783
Hey, April, will you
help me out with something?
69
00:02:48,817 --> 00:02:49,817
No.
70
00:02:49,851 --> 00:02:51,218
Apparently as city manager,
71
00:02:51,253 --> 00:02:52,887
I'm in charge of appointing
an interim mayor
72
00:02:52,921 --> 00:02:54,555
until the special election.
73
00:02:54,589 --> 00:02:56,757
So why don't
you just appoint yourself?
74
00:02:56,792 --> 00:02:58,893
You're basically
running the town anyway.
75
00:02:58,927 --> 00:03:01,228
Well, I was a mayor once before.
76
00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:02,696
We all remember how that went.
77
00:03:02,731 --> 00:03:04,498
Oh, yeah, you completely
disgraced yourself
78
00:03:04,533 --> 00:03:06,667
and destroyed an entire town.
79
00:03:06,701 --> 00:03:08,469
Yeah, I said we all remember.
80
00:03:08,503 --> 00:03:10,304
Now, will you help me
find someone?
81
00:03:10,338 --> 00:03:12,139
It can be anyone
over the age of 30
82
00:03:12,174 --> 00:03:14,408
who's a good symbolic face
for the town.
83
00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:16,043
Fine, whatever.
I'll help you, okay?
84
00:03:16,078 --> 00:03:17,912
Thank you.
I told Garry he could help too.
85
00:03:17,946 --> 00:03:19,880
- What?
- Oh, notarizing a new mayor,
86
00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:22,550
that is--well, it's like
the ultimate notary adventure.
87
00:03:22,584 --> 00:03:24,351
Oh, it's big.
88
00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:26,153
Les-legally Blonde!
89
00:03:26,188 --> 00:03:27,822
Got you a little gift
in New York.
90
00:03:27,856 --> 00:03:29,323
You did?
91
00:03:29,357 --> 00:03:30,791
What did you get me?
Ooh-la-la.
92
00:03:30,826 --> 00:03:32,993
Men's Ferragamo loafers?
93
00:03:33,028 --> 00:03:34,528
What am I supposed
to do with these?
94
00:03:34,563 --> 00:03:36,130
Yeah, you're right.
I should probably keep them.
95
00:03:36,164 --> 00:03:38,566
They're a size 6 1/2.
Too small for you anyway.
96
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,000
- How was your trip?
- Amazing.
97
00:03:40,035 --> 00:03:41,235
A lot of great meetings.
98
00:03:41,269 --> 00:03:43,070
Plus, Lucy and I
had the best time.
99
00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:44,405
It's for real, Leslie.
100
00:03:44,439 --> 00:03:46,040
We even went to a jewelry store
and looked at rings.
101
00:03:46,074 --> 00:03:47,441
No!
102
00:03:47,476 --> 00:03:49,810
Shia LaBeouf is one hell of
a jewelry designer, by the way.
103
00:03:49,845 --> 00:03:50,878
Man's really found his calling.
104
00:03:50,912 --> 00:03:52,213
This is perfect.
105
00:03:52,247 --> 00:03:53,514
With everything ending,
106
00:03:53,548 --> 00:03:55,783
you guys are the happy beginning
that we all need.
107
00:03:55,817 --> 00:03:57,818
You should propose to her,
right now, here.
108
00:03:57,853 --> 00:03:59,787
What better place to ask
a woman to marry you
109
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:01,989
than an old man's
public memorial?
110
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,190
Yeah, I think
I'm probably gonna wait.
111
00:04:03,225 --> 00:04:04,358
Plus, Lucy's not in town.
112
00:04:04,392 --> 00:04:05,559
She's in Philadelphia
visiting friends.
113
00:04:05,594 --> 00:04:06,961
She gets back tomorrow.
114
00:04:06,995 --> 00:04:08,596
Yeah, you'd probably want
her here for that, right?
115
00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:10,030
All right, I'm gonna find April.
116
00:04:10,065 --> 00:04:13,334
I got her a really nice
Burberry necktie.
117
00:04:13,368 --> 00:04:15,703
Gunderson was mayor
my entire life.
118
00:04:15,737 --> 00:04:19,140
Really makes you consider
the "postulence" of time.
119
00:04:19,174 --> 00:04:20,441
Sure.
120
00:04:20,475 --> 00:04:22,042
Death is natural, Andrew.
121
00:04:22,077 --> 00:04:24,812
We're born, we survive
as long as we're useful,
122
00:04:24,846 --> 00:04:26,313
and then we're killed,
123
00:04:26,348 --> 00:04:28,082
either by our body's
natural decay
124
00:04:28,116 --> 00:04:29,583
or by those
younger and stronger.
125
00:04:29,618 --> 00:04:30,985
Speak for yourself.
126
00:04:31,019 --> 00:04:33,053
Before I die, I'm freezing
my head like Ted Williams.
127
00:04:33,088 --> 00:04:34,889
Wait a thousand years,
thaw it out,
128
00:04:34,923 --> 00:04:37,425
slap it on a robot,
keep on balling.
129
00:04:37,459 --> 00:04:38,526
Ron.
130
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,560
Carl.
131
00:04:39,594 --> 00:04:41,162
Donna, Andy, this is Carl.
132
00:04:41,196 --> 00:04:44,765
He owns the deli right next
to my barber Salvatore's shop.
133
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,066
It's terrible, isn't it?
134
00:04:46,101 --> 00:04:49,270
First Salvatore
and now Mayor Gunderson.
135
00:04:49,304 --> 00:04:52,339
What? What happened?
Explain yourself!
136
00:04:52,374 --> 00:04:53,874
Oh, Ron, you didn't hear?
137
00:04:53,909 --> 00:04:55,876
Salvatore passed away yesterday.
138
00:04:55,911 --> 00:04:57,912
- No.
- Jeez.
139
00:04:57,946 --> 00:05:00,848
No, it can't be.
140
00:05:00,882 --> 00:05:04,018
Was he killed
by a younger, stronger barber?
141
00:05:04,052 --> 00:05:05,686
And now here to say a few words
142
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,123
is Mayor Gunderson's
longtime friend and coworker
143
00:05:09,157 --> 00:05:10,458
Ethel Beavers.
144
00:05:10,492 --> 00:05:12,093
This is gonna be so sad.
145
00:05:12,127 --> 00:05:13,627
They worked together
for a long time.
146
00:05:13,662 --> 00:05:15,095
I'll be brief.
147
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:17,198
Walter Gunderson and his wife
148
00:05:17,232 --> 00:05:18,799
had an open marriage.
149
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:23,037
It kept him happy.
It kept his wife happy.
150
00:05:23,071 --> 00:05:24,572
Hi, Evelyn.
151
00:05:24,606 --> 00:05:27,208
And it definitely kept me happy.
152
00:05:27,242 --> 00:05:29,543
What is happening?
153
00:05:29,578 --> 00:05:32,680
Because for 46 wonderful years,
154
00:05:32,714 --> 00:05:34,615
he spent night after night
155
00:05:34,649 --> 00:05:39,086
exploring every nook and cranny
of my body.
156
00:05:40,622 --> 00:05:42,089
Grow up, you prudes.
157
00:05:42,123 --> 00:05:43,357
We're all adults.
158
00:05:43,391 --> 00:05:45,659
My only regret
is that I never told him
159
00:05:45,694 --> 00:05:47,394
how I really felt.
160
00:05:47,429 --> 00:05:49,096
So I'll say it now.
161
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:51,465
I loved that man.
162
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,602
And not just because
he was a dynamite lay.
163
00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:01,776
Good night, you animal.
164
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:03,678
Tom, listen to Ethel.
165
00:06:03,712 --> 00:06:05,246
Ugh, no, it's too gross.
166
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,747
No, listen to her message.
167
00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:08,616
You can't wait to tell someone
how you feel,
168
00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:11,285
because if you wait,
before you know it, boom,
169
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,454
46 years later they're gone.
170
00:06:13,488 --> 00:06:14,455
You're right.
171
00:06:14,489 --> 00:06:15,756
We know we want
to be together forever.
172
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:17,158
- So why wait?
- Exactly.
173
00:06:17,192 --> 00:06:18,492
And I will help you
with the proposal.
174
00:06:18,527 --> 00:06:19,493
What do you want to do?
175
00:06:19,528 --> 00:06:20,561
Off the top of my head,
176
00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:22,630
I guess my ideal proposal
might be
177
00:06:22,664 --> 00:06:24,465
a multiplatform
media experience,
178
00:06:24,499 --> 00:06:26,700
an action movie
with explosive graphics,
179
00:06:26,735 --> 00:06:28,936
fast cars, and a hero
with one mission--
180
00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:30,438
to propose to his lady.
181
00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:31,439
A hero named...
182
00:06:31,473 --> 00:06:33,274
Tom Haverford.
183
00:06:33,308 --> 00:06:35,843
- Okay!
- Yes!
184
00:06:35,877 --> 00:06:39,513
Oh, um, people grieve
in different ways.
185
00:06:41,645 --> 00:06:44,255
Listen, if you can't train
200 white doves
186
00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:45,942
in the next four hours
to spell out
187
00:06:45,977 --> 00:06:47,377
"Lucy, will you marry me?"
188
00:06:47,411 --> 00:06:49,579
then you have no business
calling yourself a pet store.
189
00:06:49,614 --> 00:06:51,348
Why can't everyone
share our commitment
190
00:06:51,382 --> 00:06:53,216
to the basic concept
of outrageous pageantry?
191
00:06:53,251 --> 00:06:54,951
I don't know, Tom.
I really don't.
192
00:06:54,986 --> 00:06:56,753
Oh, no,
what do you want, Leslie?
193
00:06:56,787 --> 00:06:59,289
Hey, Ian. I need
a gigantic banner that says,
194
00:06:59,323 --> 00:07:00,857
"Congratulations, Lucy and Tom,"
195
00:07:00,892 --> 00:07:01,858
and I need it by tomorrow.
196
00:07:01,893 --> 00:07:02,959
No way.
Impossible.
197
00:07:02,994 --> 00:07:04,327
Over the past 15 years,
198
00:07:04,362 --> 00:07:07,597
I have spent nearly $100,000
at your banner store.
199
00:07:07,632 --> 00:07:08,965
I have ordered banners
200
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,367
for every personal
and professional event
201
00:07:10,401 --> 00:07:11,635
that I've ever organized.
202
00:07:11,669 --> 00:07:13,336
My credit card company
called me about it.
203
00:07:13,371 --> 00:07:14,804
Not to question the charges
204
00:07:14,839 --> 00:07:17,440
but to sincerely ask me
if I was mentally stable.
205
00:07:17,475 --> 00:07:19,576
See that Rolex Submariner
on your wrist, bro?
206
00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:20,844
That's 'cause of Leslie.
207
00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:22,345
You'll have the banner done.
208
00:07:23,614 --> 00:07:26,316
Hey, Bobby,
thanks for coming in.
209
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:28,485
Good to see you guys.
It's been a while.
210
00:07:28,519 --> 00:07:31,855
How's Leslie?
Is she still, um...uh...
211
00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:33,256
Oh.
212
00:07:33,291 --> 00:07:34,758
What was that thing
we ran for again?
213
00:07:34,792 --> 00:07:36,159
City councilor.
214
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,928
I don't know.
All right, if you say so.
215
00:07:37,962 --> 00:07:40,664
I tell you, it's so hard to
remember boring stuff like that.
216
00:07:40,698 --> 00:07:42,732
Choosing to ignore
what you just said,
217
00:07:42,767 --> 00:07:45,302
we need an interim mayor
just for two months.
218
00:07:45,336 --> 00:07:48,004
And given your family name
and how well-liked you are,
219
00:07:48,039 --> 00:07:49,573
I thought you might
be interested.
220
00:07:49,607 --> 00:07:51,141
- Mayor?
- Yeah.
221
00:07:51,175 --> 00:07:52,776
Man, that'll be fun.
222
00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:54,444
God, I don't think
I can do it, though.
223
00:07:54,478 --> 00:07:56,580
Yeah, 'cause I'm getting ready
to go on a big trip,
224
00:07:56,614 --> 00:07:57,948
to space.
225
00:07:57,982 --> 00:07:59,349
That'll be really fun too.
226
00:07:59,383 --> 00:08:01,618
Everything in life is always
just so fun, right?
227
00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:02,819
It really is.
228
00:08:02,854 --> 00:08:05,222
See, this guy knows what's what.
229
00:08:05,256 --> 00:08:06,690
- Yeah.
- That was--yeah.
230
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:08,224
Hey, Ben, have you ever
been to space?
231
00:08:08,259 --> 00:08:10,293
You should check it out.
Seriously.
232
00:08:10,328 --> 00:08:11,695
I'm sure the Russian guys
who built the rocket
233
00:08:11,729 --> 00:08:13,230
- would be cool with it.
- Really?
234
00:08:13,264 --> 00:08:15,265
Just one thing,
do you have $600,000?
235
00:08:15,299 --> 00:08:17,367
It's just, that's what
they need for a deposit.
236
00:08:17,401 --> 00:08:19,769
Oh.
Well, no.
237
00:08:19,804 --> 00:08:21,137
I've already been to space.
238
00:08:21,172 --> 00:08:23,473
I was the second person
to walk on the moon.
239
00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,609
Buzz Aldrin.
Nice to meet you.
240
00:08:25,643 --> 00:08:26,877
Nice try.
241
00:08:26,911 --> 00:08:30,413
That's the guy from Toy Story.
242
00:08:31,582 --> 00:08:33,216
We're so sorry, Ron.
243
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:34,618
You guys were close?
244
00:08:34,652 --> 00:08:37,187
I've seen Salvatore
the first Tuesday of the month
245
00:08:37,221 --> 00:08:39,723
for the past four decades.
246
00:08:39,757 --> 00:08:42,025
Same exact thing every time.
247
00:08:42,059 --> 00:08:44,127
I paid him $8.
248
00:08:44,161 --> 00:08:45,695
I sat in the same chair.
249
00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:47,998
Salvatore put
the same cape over me.
250
00:08:48,032 --> 00:08:50,867
Then he'd always ask me
about the same thing...
251
00:08:50,902 --> 00:08:54,471
nothing.
252
00:08:54,505 --> 00:08:56,172
It was perfect.
253
00:08:56,207 --> 00:08:59,276
Can't delay this forever.
Excuse me.
254
00:09:02,146 --> 00:09:05,015
The three most important people
in a man's life
255
00:09:05,049 --> 00:09:09,920
are his barber, his butcher,
and his lover.
256
00:09:11,522 --> 00:09:13,623
I have lost one of those.
257
00:09:14,759 --> 00:09:17,060
Here's a tenner, Sal.
258
00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:22,032
As you know,
I don't believe in tipping,
259
00:09:22,066 --> 00:09:24,267
so I will collect
my change from your wife.
260
00:09:27,438 --> 00:09:31,408
I had an appointment with
Salvatore scheduled for Tuesday.
261
00:09:31,442 --> 00:09:33,343
Look how raggedy my hair is.
262
00:09:33,377 --> 00:09:35,579
What am I supposed to be,
some kind or rock star?
263
00:09:37,415 --> 00:09:39,449
Okay, Tom, there's your mark.
264
00:09:39,483 --> 00:09:40,917
You'll enter from the front.
265
00:09:40,952 --> 00:09:42,152
Ted, are we rolling?
266
00:09:42,186 --> 00:09:44,287
I think so.
I don't really know.
267
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,056
Just please be careful
with my store.
268
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,258
Okay, quiet on the set!
269
00:09:48,292 --> 00:09:50,694
Action.
270
00:09:52,296 --> 00:09:53,563
Hello.
271
00:09:53,598 --> 00:09:56,299
Would you like to see
some rings, Agent Haverford?
272
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,701
Why are you doing an accent?
273
00:09:57,735 --> 00:09:59,169
I came up with
a backstory for my character.
274
00:09:59,203 --> 00:10:00,637
She's married
to a French billionaire,
275
00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:03,440
and she has a twin sister,
identical, and they keep--
276
00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:04,541
Leslie, you have one line.
277
00:10:04,575 --> 00:10:07,244
Well, I committed to the role.
278
00:10:07,278 --> 00:10:08,545
Hello.
279
00:10:08,579 --> 00:10:11,214
Would you like to see
some gorgeous jewelry?
280
00:10:11,249 --> 00:10:14,718
We have the most rare diamonds
in the world.
281
00:10:14,752 --> 00:10:17,888
I'll take that one.
The most expensive one.
282
00:10:17,922 --> 00:10:20,524
Not so fast,
Haver-fraud.
283
00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:23,393
Ah,zut alors!
284
00:10:23,427 --> 00:10:26,296
Get 'em, boys!
285
00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:28,698
Freeze!
Stunt double.
286
00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:30,066
Tom.
287
00:10:30,101 --> 00:10:31,234
Action!
288
00:10:31,269 --> 00:10:33,837
Go, my puppets!
Go, my puppets!
289
00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:37,040
Fight, fight, my puppets!
290
00:10:37,074 --> 00:10:38,742
Rack focus.
Pan left.
291
00:10:38,776 --> 00:10:40,256
I don't know
what any of that means.
292
00:10:40,278 --> 00:10:42,546
Just get--get the right--
go under the--
293
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,214
Go, my puppets.
294
00:10:44,248 --> 00:10:45,549
Oh, that's it.
295
00:10:45,583 --> 00:10:47,217
Oh, you want the big dog.
296
00:10:47,251 --> 00:10:49,252
Is that what you want?
You want the big dog?
297
00:10:49,287 --> 00:10:50,987
Ahh!
298
00:10:57,829 --> 00:11:00,564
Lucy, your mission,
should you choose to accept it,
299
00:11:00,598 --> 00:11:02,866
is to marry me.
300
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:03,934
And cut.
301
00:11:03,968 --> 00:11:06,236
Oh, my gosh, Tom,
that was amazing!
302
00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:07,404
No, it wasn't.
303
00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:09,039
You just destroyed my case.
304
00:11:09,073 --> 00:11:10,841
Hey, it's
the movie business, Ted.
305
00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:13,043
You knew the risks.
Okay, everybody in the van.
306
00:11:13,077 --> 00:11:14,478
We're headed
to the next location.
307
00:11:14,512 --> 00:11:16,246
You should totally do it.
308
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,781
You'd be an amazing mayor.
309
00:11:17,815 --> 00:11:20,784
Actually, you should
be President of the universe.
310
00:11:20,818 --> 00:11:22,085
Oh.
311
00:11:22,119 --> 00:11:24,788
You know, I really would make
an incredible mayor.
312
00:11:24,822 --> 00:11:27,190
But, sadly, I cannot,
313
00:11:27,225 --> 00:11:29,893
because I'm only 27 years old.
314
00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:30,861
Really?
315
00:11:30,895 --> 00:11:32,562
So you were born in the 1990s?
316
00:11:32,597 --> 00:11:34,698
Ooh! Mmhmm.
317
00:11:34,732 --> 00:11:36,666
What a lovely offer,
but I think not.
318
00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:38,001
You know, I've got my hands full
319
00:11:38,036 --> 00:11:39,669
with my practice,
my other businesses,
320
00:11:39,704 --> 00:11:41,638
my two terrible children.
321
00:11:41,672 --> 00:11:43,607
I don't think I have time
to be mayor.
322
00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:45,308
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
323
00:11:45,343 --> 00:11:46,409
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
324
00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,411
Hold up.
I will do John Mayer.
325
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,981
Again.
326
00:11:51,015 --> 00:11:53,049
Daddy, someone set
a fire in your car
327
00:11:53,084 --> 00:11:55,652
♪ Because you took too long
and I got bored ♪
328
00:11:55,686 --> 00:11:58,388
Money, please.
329
00:11:58,422 --> 00:12:00,023
Oh, no, no.
There's no money.
330
00:12:00,057 --> 00:12:01,091
Oh.
331
00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:02,792
My bad.
No problem.
332
00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:04,361
- Oh, okay.
- That's fine.
333
00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:05,962
I'll just destroy this office.
334
00:12:05,997 --> 00:12:07,597
Whoa, hey!
335
00:12:09,801 --> 00:12:12,102
Money, please!
336
00:12:12,136 --> 00:12:13,503
Money, please.
337
00:12:13,538 --> 00:12:14,905
My money, please?
338
00:12:14,939 --> 00:12:18,041
Ben, give her some money.
It's easier.
339
00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:20,377
I have to say, The Douche,
340
00:12:20,411 --> 00:12:23,313
I'm skeptical that
your interest is sincere.
341
00:12:23,347 --> 00:12:24,307
I can understand that.
342
00:12:24,315 --> 00:12:26,650
A morning shock-jock DJ,
the mayor?
343
00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:28,051
But keep an open mind.
344
00:12:28,085 --> 00:12:29,352
I went to Northwestern,
345
00:12:29,387 --> 00:12:31,054
I've worked
on two political campaigns,
346
00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:33,790
and I spend all of my time
communicating with the public.
347
00:12:33,825 --> 00:12:35,425
That's actually a good point.
348
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:37,561
I could do some great things
for this city.
349
00:12:37,595 --> 00:12:40,964
And some gross things with
those juicy city hall interns.
350
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:42,265
Ga-ga-goink!
351
00:12:43,334 --> 00:12:46,002
Okay, well,
thanks for coming in.
352
00:12:46,037 --> 00:12:47,237
All right, B.
Let me know.
353
00:12:47,271 --> 00:12:48,972
Yeah.
Ah.
354
00:12:49,006 --> 00:12:50,273
Oh.
355
00:12:50,308 --> 00:12:51,608
Well, I think
we have our answer.
356
00:12:51,642 --> 00:12:53,109
Come on, think.
357
00:12:53,144 --> 00:12:54,578
There's got to be someone.
358
00:12:54,612 --> 00:12:56,980
Okay, Ben,
you know that I despise you
359
00:12:57,014 --> 00:12:58,782
and that I want you
and all people on Earth
360
00:12:58,816 --> 00:12:59,816
to be miserable, right?
361
00:12:59,851 --> 00:13:00,917
Sure.
362
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,018
You should be mayor.
363
00:13:02,053 --> 00:13:03,520
You're the best person
for the job,
364
00:13:03,554 --> 00:13:04,721
and you deserve it.
365
00:13:04,755 --> 00:13:06,489
Plus, this would erase Ice Town.
366
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,692
It's been torturing you
since you were 18 years old.
367
00:13:08,726 --> 00:13:10,560
And if you became
mayor of Pawnee,
368
00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:13,930
you could put it behind you
once and for all.
369
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,098
Ugh.
370
00:13:15,132 --> 00:13:17,033
Being nice made me
feel terrible.
371
00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:19,536
- My oral office!
- What?
372
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:21,538
I'm gonna turn
the mayoral office
373
00:13:21,572 --> 00:13:23,006
into my oral office.
374
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,274
Boom!
375
00:13:24,308 --> 00:13:26,076
Thought of it a second ago,
had to pop back in.
376
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:28,011
- Had to?
- Had to.
377
00:13:28,045 --> 00:13:29,646
Buck up, Swanson.
378
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,715
It's like you said,
death is natural.
379
00:13:31,749 --> 00:13:34,184
And Sal lived a good, long life.
380
00:13:34,218 --> 00:13:36,419
But so much is changing,
381
00:13:36,454 --> 00:13:38,922
and I've never been
a fan of change.
382
00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:42,993
Salvatore was a constant
in my life.
383
00:13:43,027 --> 00:13:46,296
In my experience,
the only constant is change.
384
00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:48,465
Oh, shit.
385
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:50,967
Nice to see you, Ron.
386
00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:52,802
I couldn't help but overhear.
387
00:13:52,837 --> 00:13:55,205
Sure am sorry about your loss.
388
00:13:55,239 --> 00:13:56,840
Every time we lose a compadre,
389
00:13:56,874 --> 00:13:59,776
our collective lantern
gets a little bit dimmer.
390
00:13:59,811 --> 00:14:01,044
Hey, you look awful familiar.
391
00:14:01,078 --> 00:14:02,179
Have we met before?
392
00:14:02,213 --> 00:14:04,247
Oh, I'm sure our souls
have collided
393
00:14:04,282 --> 00:14:05,982
in one lifetime or another.
394
00:14:06,017 --> 00:14:07,384
No, that's not it.
395
00:14:07,418 --> 00:14:08,852
Are you
in my Frisbee golf league?
396
00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:11,621
Oh, yeah.
I play for the Super Spinners.
397
00:14:11,656 --> 00:14:13,123
Oh, I'm on the Frisbee Champs.
398
00:14:13,157 --> 00:14:14,691
- Oh, cool.
- I named us.
399
00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:16,726
Andrew, stop speaking
to this man.
400
00:14:16,761 --> 00:14:19,062
He is the worst human being
on Earth.
401
00:14:19,096 --> 00:14:20,397
Oh, come on.
402
00:14:20,431 --> 00:14:22,499
Death makes brothers of us all.
403
00:14:22,533 --> 00:14:26,837
I've always found that
when my soul aches with loss,
404
00:14:26,871 --> 00:14:29,739
it's best to turn
to Eastern wisdom.
405
00:14:29,774 --> 00:14:32,709
This is from
the Isle of Islay in Scotland.
406
00:14:32,743 --> 00:14:35,112
This is as Eastern
as my wisdom gets.
407
00:14:35,146 --> 00:14:38,048
Swanson,
this handsome spiritual cowboy
408
00:14:38,082 --> 00:14:40,584
may actually be right
about turning to the East.
409
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,219
I have an idea.
410
00:14:42,253 --> 00:14:44,755
Trust me?
411
00:14:44,789 --> 00:14:46,389
- Who cuts your hair?
- Nobody.
412
00:14:46,424 --> 00:14:49,292
Whenever my hair feels
it has completed its journey,
413
00:14:49,327 --> 00:14:51,361
it simply sheds itself off.
414
00:14:51,395 --> 00:14:54,164
I hate you so much.
415
00:14:54,198 --> 00:14:56,733
And I love you, my brother.
416
00:14:58,336 --> 00:14:59,636
I'm really glad you were here
417
00:14:59,670 --> 00:15:00,937
to help me with all this today.
418
00:15:00,972 --> 00:15:02,572
You've always been there for me.
419
00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:04,507
And I guess what
I'm trying to say is
420
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:05,742
you're pretty cool.
421
00:15:05,776 --> 00:15:07,677
I'm cool?
I'm cool.
422
00:15:07,712 --> 00:15:09,146
I'm a cool dudette.
423
00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:10,680
Hey, it's pizza time.
424
00:15:10,715 --> 00:15:12,015
And you've lost it.
425
00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:13,016
No!
426
00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:14,351
Hey, there's Lucy.
427
00:15:16,487 --> 00:15:18,722
Hey, babe.
428
00:15:18,756 --> 00:15:19,890
We're calling this off.
It's all wrong.
429
00:15:19,924 --> 00:15:21,324
Oh, no.
Really?
430
00:15:21,359 --> 00:15:23,059
Is it because I said
"it's pizza time"?
431
00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:24,494
No, but that definitely
didn't help.
432
00:15:24,529 --> 00:15:25,796
What's happening?
433
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:29,099
Grab Jean-Ralphio
and get these three things.
434
00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:30,767
And meet me
at The Snakehole Lounge
435
00:15:30,802 --> 00:15:31,802
in 30 minutes.
436
00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:33,157
I have no idea what's happening,
437
00:15:33,171 --> 00:15:34,571
and I'm very scared that
everything is falling apart,
438
00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,125
but you seem
like James Bond right now.
439
00:15:36,189 --> 00:15:37,187
- Go!
- Yes.
440
00:15:40,987 --> 00:15:42,955
Tommy T, we got you
everything you asked for.
441
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:43,747
Ragaduk!
442
00:15:43,867 --> 00:15:45,188
I didn't ask
for flavored condoms.
443
00:15:45,202 --> 00:15:46,992
No, no, no, that's just me
looking out for you.
444
00:15:47,027 --> 00:15:49,161
See, girls get mad horny
when you propose.
445
00:15:49,196 --> 00:15:51,664
That's why I do it all the time.
446
00:15:51,698 --> 00:15:52,898
Okay, what are we doing?
447
00:15:52,933 --> 00:15:54,767
There are hundreds of people
waiting for us.
448
00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:55,868
No time to explain, Les.
449
00:15:55,902 --> 00:15:57,142
But don't worry, I have a plan.
450
00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:58,804
Fine.
I will leave.
451
00:15:58,838 --> 00:16:00,506
Good luck.
452
00:16:02,676 --> 00:16:04,343
You want to stay and hide
and watch the proposal?
453
00:16:04,377 --> 00:16:05,644
Yes!
Yes, of course!
454
00:16:05,679 --> 00:16:07,012
Okay, I already picked a place.
455
00:16:07,047 --> 00:16:08,347
Don't follow me!
456
00:16:08,381 --> 00:16:09,782
But I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
457
00:16:11,117 --> 00:16:12,952
I can't believe
I'm about to be the mayor.
458
00:16:12,986 --> 00:16:14,854
I can't believe
I'm about to notarize it.
459
00:16:14,888 --> 00:16:16,755
Okay, so, look,
just sign right there,
460
00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:19,959
and then we can let
the notary fireworks begin.
461
00:16:23,029 --> 00:16:25,865
You know what?
No, I don't want to do this.
462
00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:27,066
Why?
463
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,969
I spent so long trying
to forget about Ice Town,
464
00:16:30,003 --> 00:16:32,104
but it's part of my life.
465
00:16:32,139 --> 00:16:33,772
I mean, it set me on this path.
466
00:16:33,807 --> 00:16:37,343
It led me to Pawnee,
to my job, to Leslie.
467
00:16:37,377 --> 00:16:39,311
I mean, who knows
where I'd be without it?
468
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,146
I like that Ice Town happened,
469
00:16:41,181 --> 00:16:43,716
and I don't want to erase it.
470
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,185
Okay, I wasn't listening
to anything you just said.
471
00:16:46,219 --> 00:16:49,255
But who is gonna be the mayor
for the next two months, then?
472
00:16:55,161 --> 00:16:56,862
Garry Gergich,
473
00:16:56,897 --> 00:16:59,698
how would you like to be the
next mayor of Pawnee, Indiana?
474
00:17:01,535 --> 00:17:03,068
No!
475
00:17:05,338 --> 00:17:07,306
What is all this?
476
00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:09,441
Snakehole Lounge
is where we first met.
477
00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:12,778
On our first date,
I gave you a single daisy,
478
00:17:12,812 --> 00:17:14,113
like this.
479
00:17:14,147 --> 00:17:16,315
And after that, we ate
late-night pancakes at JJ's.
480
00:17:16,349 --> 00:17:18,817
And while we were there,
I pulled out a deck of cards,
481
00:17:18,852 --> 00:17:20,819
and I tried to show you
a magic trick
482
00:17:20,854 --> 00:17:23,022
I learned off
a David Blaine special.
483
00:17:23,056 --> 00:17:24,723
Unsurprisingly, I failed,
484
00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:27,359
and you made fun of me,
ruthlessly.
485
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:28,894
I haven't done this trick
in a while,
486
00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:30,362
but I think I'm ready
to try it again.
487
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:32,298
Pick a card.
488
00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:33,399
No, no, no, no.
489
00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:35,134
Go a little bit over
to the left.
490
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:37,503
There you go.
491
00:17:42,976 --> 00:17:44,210
Yes!
492
00:17:44,244 --> 00:17:45,311
- Really?
- Yes!
493
00:17:45,345 --> 00:17:46,312
Yay.
494
00:17:46,346 --> 00:17:49,515
Oh, my God, that was so sweet.
495
00:17:49,549 --> 00:17:50,816
It really was.
496
00:17:50,850 --> 00:17:52,484
So what's your story again?
497
00:17:52,519 --> 00:17:54,420
I mean, like,
how married are you?
498
00:17:54,454 --> 00:17:56,522
You down to clown?
You in that rude mood?
499
00:17:56,556 --> 00:17:57,756
Why are you like this?
500
00:17:57,791 --> 00:17:59,725
Pills, baby!
501
00:18:00,727 --> 00:18:02,194
Donna, this is crazy.
502
00:18:02,229 --> 00:18:03,729
Typhoon is an artist,
and the human head--
503
00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:05,131
Is his canvas.
504
00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:07,266
Just listen, you're gonna
cut the man's hair.
505
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,235
You're gonna charge him $8.
506
00:18:09,269 --> 00:18:10,769
It'll take you four minutes.
507
00:18:10,804 --> 00:18:13,539
So just shut up and make
the man look like this.
508
00:18:13,573 --> 00:18:14,573
Fine.
509
00:18:14,608 --> 00:18:16,041
Ugh.
510
00:18:18,078 --> 00:18:22,381
So, Typhoon, what do you
like to do for fun?
511
00:18:22,415 --> 00:18:24,950
I'm writing an electronic
opera about Brittany Murphy,
512
00:18:24,985 --> 00:18:26,252
and I do the chandelier design
513
00:18:26,286 --> 00:18:28,087
for my friend's
drag puppet show.
514
00:18:28,121 --> 00:18:29,789
No further questions.
515
00:18:29,823 --> 00:18:31,524
All I really want to do
is dance.
516
00:18:31,558 --> 00:18:33,259
Except lately
all the good warehouse raves
517
00:18:33,293 --> 00:18:35,461
are filled with Eurotrash.
518
00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:38,464
"Eurotrash," I like that.
519
00:18:38,498 --> 00:18:40,533
It is, indeed,
a garbage continent.
520
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,368
Yes.
Oh, my God.
521
00:18:42,402 --> 00:18:44,103
I had the worst time
in Berlin last May.
522
00:18:44,137 --> 00:18:45,971
Everyone was
on their stupid bikes.
523
00:18:46,006 --> 00:18:47,306
I was like, "Ew."
524
00:18:49,042 --> 00:18:52,144
Please, talk more about how
you hate Europe and bicycles.
525
00:18:54,247 --> 00:18:55,581
Sorry about the audible.
526
00:18:55,615 --> 00:18:56,895
I just realized
Lucy doesn't care
527
00:18:56,917 --> 00:18:58,050
about all that flashy stuff.
528
00:18:58,084 --> 00:18:59,485
That's not the way to her heart.
529
00:18:59,519 --> 00:19:01,120
Frankly, I'm stunned
she's still even into me.
530
00:19:01,154 --> 00:19:03,022
No, you were right
to change course.
531
00:19:03,056 --> 00:19:04,790
It was perfect and beautiful.
532
00:19:04,824 --> 00:19:06,759
There's still
a very big celebration
533
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,561
awaiting you and your fiancée.
534
00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:11,363
I think Lucy probably wants
to hang just the two of us.
535
00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:13,232
I'll see you later,
Jennifer Knopez.
536
00:19:13,266 --> 00:19:15,234
Catch you on the flip side,
Tom-egranate Juice.
537
00:19:15,268 --> 00:19:16,569
Hey, not bad.
538
00:19:19,539 --> 00:19:20,940
Hey, babe.
539
00:19:20,974 --> 00:19:22,308
Tom got engaged.
540
00:19:22,342 --> 00:19:24,210
Oh, that's awesome.
541
00:19:24,244 --> 00:19:25,778
More good news.
542
00:19:25,812 --> 00:19:27,913
I finally found someone
to be mayor--
543
00:19:27,948 --> 00:19:29,248
Garry.
544
00:19:29,282 --> 00:19:30,649
Oh, so glad we're leaving.
545
00:19:30,684 --> 00:19:32,751
Wait, you know what?
546
00:19:32,786 --> 00:19:35,187
I just had an amazing idea.
547
00:19:35,222 --> 00:19:37,022
Just under the wire.
548
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:39,225
Oh, Ian, thank you so much.
549
00:19:39,259 --> 00:19:41,193
It's great.
Now throw it out.
550
00:19:41,228 --> 00:19:43,195
I need a new one,
and I need it in 20 minutes.
551
00:19:43,230 --> 00:19:44,196
Ugh.
552
00:19:44,231 --> 00:19:45,271
Look, if you didn't want
553
00:19:45,298 --> 00:19:47,032
to be on call 24-7
for emergencies,
554
00:19:47,067 --> 00:19:48,734
then you should not have gone
into the high-stakes world
555
00:19:48,768 --> 00:19:49,935
of banner making!
556
00:19:52,223 --> 00:19:53,544
What the hell is all this about?
557
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,359
You'll see.
558
00:19:55,393 --> 00:19:57,461
Well, I got to say,
559
00:19:57,495 --> 00:19:59,164
that was a heck of a lot of fun.
560
00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:02,658
What on Earth?
561
00:20:02,778 --> 00:20:05,465
Happy Inauguration Day, buddy.
562
00:20:05,715 --> 00:20:07,664
Oh, jeez, Leslie.
563
00:20:30,342 --> 00:20:33,444
The passing of our beloved Mayor Gunderson
564
00:20:33,564 --> 00:20:35,690
marks the end of an era.
565
00:20:35,999 --> 00:20:38,407
But we are about to begin a new chapter
566
00:20:38,527 --> 00:20:39,910
in Pawnee's history.
567
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,351
Ladies and gentlemen,
568
00:20:41,471 --> 00:20:44,969
the new mayor of the great city of
Pawnee, Indiana,
569
00:20:45,089 --> 00:20:46,226
Garry Gergich.
570
00:20:47,565 --> 00:20:49,779
I just want to say...
571
00:20:58,164 --> 00:20:59,864
I'm flying!
572
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:07,285
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com