1
00:00:01,115 --> 00:00:02,414
Oh hey, Ben.
2
00:00:02,415 --> 00:00:05,014
Have you seen my complete
collection of all
3
00:00:05,015 --> 00:00:06,566
193 national flags?
4
00:00:06,915 --> 00:00:08,566
Ooh! Here they are.
5
00:00:09,315 --> 00:00:10,314
Wow!
6
00:00:10,415 --> 00:00:13,314
So, I've been asked to run
this year's Model UN
7
00:00:13,415 --> 00:00:14,914
at Pawnee Central High School.
8
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:16,214
Attendance has been low.
9
00:00:16,615 --> 00:00:19,014
And if I don't make it awesome,
they may cancel it.
10
00:00:20,215 --> 00:00:22,514
I wonder if I'm gonna make it awesome.
11
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,714
...Or I can be South Korea,
you can be Bangladesh.
12
00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:28,166
You can form like a
Trans-Asiatic alliance.
13
00:00:28,217 --> 00:00:30,051
Yeah, I like it.
And I see the merits of it.
14
00:00:30,086 --> 00:00:31,919
I just worry
if we're both in Asia,
15
00:00:31,953 --> 00:00:33,888
- it might limit our scope.
- Mm.
16
00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:35,390
I kinda want to roll up
my sleeves
17
00:00:35,424 --> 00:00:37,926
and make geopolitical
problem-solving my bitch.
18
00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:39,460
Amen, brother.
19
00:00:39,478 --> 00:00:42,063
Let's go back to plan "A."
I'll be Denmark, you be Peru.
20
00:00:42,297 --> 00:00:42,981
Yes!
21
00:00:43,015 --> 00:00:44,299
Oh, I didn't really do
22
00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:47,702
Model United Nations
in high school, so...
23
00:00:47,736 --> 00:00:50,104
Oh, wait.
I super-did.
24
00:00:50,138 --> 00:00:51,489
I need a few more
volunteers.
25
00:00:51,524 --> 00:00:52,741
Andy, will you be Iceland?
26
00:00:52,775 --> 00:00:54,109
The bad guys
from Mighty Ducks 2?
27
00:00:54,143 --> 00:00:55,877
- Don't think so.
- Okay, how about Japan?
28
00:00:55,911 --> 00:00:57,912
The bad guys
from Karate Kid 2?
29
00:00:58,447 --> 00:01:00,998
Even worse.
How 'bout Germany?
30
00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:02,583
They've never been
the bad guys.
31
00:01:02,618 --> 00:01:04,001
Why don't you be Finland?
32
00:01:04,036 --> 00:01:05,169
- Okay.
- Okay?
33
00:01:05,204 --> 00:01:06,421
And I'll be the Moon.
34
00:01:06,455 --> 00:01:08,673
No, you're gonna be
South Africa or...
35
00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:10,842
- Pakistan.
- I'm the Moon, or I quit.
36
00:01:10,876 --> 00:01:12,827
- April.
- Moon or quit, man.
37
00:01:12,862 --> 00:01:14,295
Fine. You be South Africa,
38
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:15,880
and you can also secretly
run the moon.
39
00:01:15,915 --> 00:01:18,132
The Moon accepts
your ridiculous proposal.
40
00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:19,384
Ron! You wanna join us?
41
00:01:19,418 --> 00:01:21,002
Look!
I'll let you be America.
42
00:01:22,872 --> 00:01:25,139
And teach kids that not
only is government good
43
00:01:25,174 --> 00:01:28,259
but that there should be
a World-wide super-government?
44
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:30,762
I'd rather sand down
my toenails.
45
00:01:30,813 --> 00:01:33,681
Every three weeks, I have
to sand down my toenails.
46
00:01:34,416 --> 00:01:36,184
They're too strong
for clippers.
47
00:01:39,221 --> 00:01:44,445
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:01:57,772 --> 00:01:58,506
Excuse me.
49
00:01:58,541 --> 00:02:00,708
Are you Leslie Knope?
Oh, what am I talking about?
50
00:02:00,742 --> 00:02:03,945
- Of course you are.
- Bonjour, Madame Ambassadeur.
51
00:02:04,279 --> 00:02:05,763
Thank you so much for coming
52
00:02:05,798 --> 00:02:07,982
and trying to help save
our club.
53
00:02:08,017 --> 00:02:09,300
We're so excited to see
54
00:02:09,351 --> 00:02:11,436
a true Pawnee Model U.N.
legend in action.
55
00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:12,720
- Thank you. - I really wouldn't
describe myself
56
00:02:12,755 --> 00:02:14,889
as a Model U.N. legend.
57
00:02:14,924 --> 00:02:17,642
I'd go with icon.
Or hero.
58
00:02:18,193 --> 00:02:20,795
Look, if you ask me,
Enron is down but not out.
59
00:02:20,829 --> 00:02:22,964
Who doesn't like
a comeback story?
60
00:02:22,998 --> 00:02:25,667
All right, you wanna hear
my plan, get at me later.
61
00:02:25,701 --> 00:02:27,201
I gotta meet up
with an old friend.
62
00:02:27,236 --> 00:02:28,486
All right, peace, man.
63
00:02:29,037 --> 00:02:30,338
Let's go do this lunch thing.
64
00:02:30,372 --> 00:02:32,240
I just have one more
quick interview.
65
00:02:32,274 --> 00:02:34,842
I'm still trying to find
your replacement.
66
00:02:34,877 --> 00:02:37,912
That is, unless you want
your old job back.
67
00:02:37,947 --> 00:02:40,081
I told you before, Ronseph,
I moved on to bigger things.
68
00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:43,134
E720 going under
was a blessing.
69
00:02:43,168 --> 00:02:45,253
I'm tearing it up
all over town like a boss.
70
00:02:45,287 --> 00:02:47,221
Sounds great, Tommy.
71
00:02:47,256 --> 00:02:50,008
I've offered Tom his job back
several times,
72
00:02:50,059 --> 00:02:52,060
and each time he's told me
he's just too busy
73
00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:53,845
being an entrepreneur.
74
00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:55,196
Then two days ago,
75
00:02:55,230 --> 00:02:58,232
I saw him spraying cologne
samples at Macy's.
76
00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:00,902
The young man
has a lot of pride.
77
00:03:00,936 --> 00:03:03,004
This isn't gonna be easy.
78
00:03:04,038 --> 00:03:04,905
Ann Perkins.
79
00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:06,274
- Hey, Chris, how's it going?
- Not good.
80
00:03:06,308 --> 00:03:07,709
- Can I talk to you?
- Okay.
81
00:03:08,243 --> 00:03:09,477
I'm not sure
if you're aware,
82
00:03:09,511 --> 00:03:10,845
but I am romantically
involved
83
00:03:11,079 --> 00:03:13,480
with Jerry Gergich's
surprisingly hot daughter
84
00:03:13,514 --> 00:03:14,648
- Millicent Gergich.
- Yeah.
85
00:03:14,683 --> 00:03:16,016
You were grinding with her
pretty hard
86
00:03:16,051 --> 00:03:17,484
at April's Halloween party.
87
00:03:17,518 --> 00:03:19,987
That's correct. Anyway,
we've been on four dates,
88
00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:20,972
but now Millicent Gergich
89
00:03:21,023 --> 00:03:23,123
hasn't returned
my last two phone calls.
90
00:03:23,158 --> 00:03:25,209
I think the relationship
may be in trouble,
91
00:03:25,243 --> 00:03:26,460
and I don't know why.
92
00:03:26,495 --> 00:03:28,262
Wow. A four-date-long
relationship
93
00:03:28,297 --> 00:03:30,297
might not be 100% perfect?
94
00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:33,133
I think you should launch
a full-scale investigation.
95
00:03:33,168 --> 00:03:35,770
The root of sarcasm
is truth, Ann.
96
00:03:35,804 --> 00:03:38,056
I am going to launch
a full-scale investigation.
97
00:03:38,590 --> 00:03:41,108
And I sincerely thank you
for that suggestion.
98
00:03:41,143 --> 00:03:44,011
Glad I could help
in these trying times.
99
00:03:44,045 --> 00:03:45,847
Sarcasm again!
100
00:03:45,881 --> 00:03:48,816
You're a delight.
101
00:03:48,851 --> 00:03:51,085
You've all been
preparing for months
102
00:03:51,119 --> 00:03:52,937
for this year's
geopolitical scenario...
103
00:03:52,988 --> 00:03:54,922
global food crisis.
104
00:03:54,957 --> 00:03:58,492
Security Council,
we need you to lead us,
105
00:03:58,527 --> 00:04:01,028
or billions of people
will starve to death.
106
00:04:01,063 --> 00:04:04,165
But most importantly,
have fun.
107
00:04:04,199 --> 00:04:05,766
Due to my campaign,
108
00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:08,402
the romantic aspect
of our relationship is over.
109
00:04:08,437 --> 00:04:09,871
And I'm totally fine
with that.
110
00:04:09,905 --> 00:04:11,806
But Ben and I have so much
in common.
111
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,291
I mean,
we're amazing friends.
112
00:04:13,342 --> 00:04:14,675
And friendship is better
113
00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,510
because friends help you move.
114
00:04:16,545 --> 00:04:18,930
They drive you to the airport.
115
00:04:18,964 --> 00:04:22,717
Boyfriends just...
love you and marry you.
116
00:04:24,803 --> 00:04:27,021
Jerry! I am launching
a full-scale investigation
117
00:04:27,055 --> 00:04:28,689
into my romantic relationship
with your daughter
118
00:04:28,724 --> 00:04:30,024
Millicent Gergich,
119
00:04:30,058 --> 00:04:31,809
and I thought I could pick
your brain.
120
00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:33,361
Aw, jeez, I really shouldn't
be involved in someth...
121
00:04:33,395 --> 00:04:35,696
Quick recap...
things were going wonderfully.
122
00:04:35,731 --> 00:04:37,565
We clicked
on an emotional level.
123
00:04:37,599 --> 00:04:39,901
And then suddenly, I just
stopped hearing from her.
124
00:04:39,935 --> 00:04:42,787
Now, you must know her
pretty well... what gives?
125
00:04:42,821 --> 00:04:44,005
Here's what I saw go down.
126
00:04:44,039 --> 00:04:45,489
Donna! Yeah!
Get in on this.
127
00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:46,824
You're too accessible.
128
00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:48,743
Every time she calls,
you answer.
129
00:04:48,777 --> 00:04:50,678
You gotta dangle the carrot,
130
00:04:50,712 --> 00:04:52,179
literally
and metaphorically.
131
00:04:52,214 --> 00:04:53,798
- Thank you, Donna!
- Thanks, Donna.
132
00:04:53,832 --> 00:04:56,417
So...Courtney.
133
00:04:56,451 --> 00:04:58,719
This says you retired
in 1968.
134
00:04:58,754 --> 00:05:00,087
No, no, no.
135
00:05:00,122 --> 00:05:04,058
I was fired because I made
a pass at an ethnic woman.
136
00:05:04,092 --> 00:05:07,361
And what have you been doing
for the last 43 years?
137
00:05:07,396 --> 00:05:09,330
Oh, you know,
hitchhiking around.
138
00:05:09,364 --> 00:05:12,400
I went to Mexico.
I met a lot of ethnic girls.
139
00:05:12,434 --> 00:05:14,568
They grow on trees
down there.
140
00:05:14,603 --> 00:05:16,270
I was in jail for a spell...
141
00:05:16,304 --> 00:05:18,940
That about
brings it up to date.
142
00:05:18,974 --> 00:05:20,307
Sounds to me
like you're ready
143
00:05:20,325 --> 00:05:22,076
to get back in the game,
Courtney.
144
00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,145
We'll be in touch.
145
00:05:25,647 --> 00:05:27,531
Another very strong
candidate.
146
00:05:27,582 --> 00:05:28,950
Are you insane?
147
00:05:28,984 --> 00:05:30,451
He was a million-year-old
racist!
148
00:05:30,485 --> 00:05:33,187
He said he liked
ethnic girls, Tom.
149
00:05:33,221 --> 00:05:34,889
I'm sorry, Ron,
but I created a legacy here,
150
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:36,290
and I need to make sure
it's protected.
151
00:05:36,824 --> 00:05:37,925
Let's bring in
some more people.
152
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:39,260
In my four years here,
153
00:05:39,294 --> 00:05:41,696
I revolutionized the position
of administrator
154
00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:43,130
and made this place cool.
155
00:05:43,165 --> 00:05:44,598
I was the first person
156
00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:46,067
to abbreviate Parks and
Recreation Department.
157
00:05:46,101 --> 00:05:47,535
First it was
Parks and Recreation.
158
00:05:47,569 --> 00:05:48,769
Then Parks and Rec.
159
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:50,204
Then P&R.
160
00:05:50,238 --> 00:05:52,806
Then lengthened it
just a little bit to...
161
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,208
Tommy's place.
162
00:05:54,742 --> 00:05:56,310
Okay, wait a minute.
I think I have it.
163
00:05:56,344 --> 00:05:57,778
What if we dropped
interest rates.
164
00:05:57,813 --> 00:05:59,080
- Would that help you?
- Maybe.
165
00:05:59,114 --> 00:06:00,781
But what if Brazil
and Argentina
166
00:06:00,816 --> 00:06:02,900
use their oil deposits
as collateral?
167
00:06:02,951 --> 00:06:04,585
Oh, that's really good.
168
00:06:04,619 --> 00:06:06,087
Under-exaggerate much,
France?
169
00:06:06,121 --> 00:06:07,254
Ha ha!
170
00:06:07,289 --> 00:06:08,906
Nice!
171
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:11,625
Hey, Leslie, you ready?
172
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,160
- Oh! - Ow.
- Sorry. - That's okay.
173
00:06:13,194 --> 00:06:14,412
- Hi, William.
- Hi. You ready?
174
00:06:14,463 --> 00:06:17,915
Yes. Absolutely. Um...They
want me to do a photo op
175
00:06:17,966 --> 00:06:19,133
for the campaign
176
00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:21,002
so I can bolster
my education credentials.
177
00:06:21,036 --> 00:06:23,671
- Can we just press pause here?
- How long is it gonna take?
178
00:06:23,705 --> 00:06:24,339
I'm not really sure.
179
00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:26,391
Can you just tread water
until I'm ready?
180
00:06:26,425 --> 00:06:27,709
Oh, sure, yeah.
181
00:06:27,743 --> 00:06:29,060
I'll just tread water
until you're ready.
182
00:06:29,094 --> 00:06:30,178
Thanks, buddy.
183
00:06:30,213 --> 00:06:32,346
Leslie and I
aren't dating anymore,
184
00:06:32,381 --> 00:06:33,814
but, uh, we're friends.
185
00:06:33,849 --> 00:06:35,816
So it's fun.
It's just fun.
186
00:06:35,851 --> 00:06:39,520
It's fun...
it's... fun...
187
00:06:39,554 --> 00:06:41,422
It is fun.
188
00:06:41,456 --> 00:06:43,324
Thanks a lot.
189
00:06:43,358 --> 00:06:44,692
Yes!
190
00:06:44,726 --> 00:06:48,496
Honey! I just traded Finland's
military to Kenya
191
00:06:48,530 --> 00:06:50,831
for 50 lions.
192
00:06:51,366 --> 00:06:52,700
That's pretty good, right?
193
00:06:52,734 --> 00:06:54,452
- Yeah...
- Okay.
194
00:06:54,503 --> 00:06:56,837
But also militaries
are pretty good
195
00:06:56,872 --> 00:06:58,506
at protecting countries.
196
00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:00,074
But so are lions.
197
00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:01,792
And you don't have to
pay them.
198
00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:03,110
These kids are idiots.
199
00:07:03,145 --> 00:07:04,845
I've just traded
all of Finland's boring stuff
200
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,714
for every other country's
lions?
201
00:07:06,748 --> 00:07:08,949
I definitely have more lions
202
00:07:08,984 --> 00:07:11,085
than any other country
in the whole world right now.
203
00:07:11,119 --> 00:07:12,520
I have no idea
what's going on.
204
00:07:12,554 --> 00:07:14,522
But if that ends up meaning
something in this game,
205
00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,957
I'd say I'm set.
206
00:07:19,478 --> 00:07:20,861
Hey, so Russia and China
207
00:07:20,896 --> 00:07:22,313
are about to propose
their own plan,
208
00:07:22,364 --> 00:07:24,065
so the kids kinda want
to get ours out there.
209
00:07:24,099 --> 00:07:26,867
Oh, okay... this should probably
only take five more minutes.
210
00:07:26,902 --> 00:07:28,486
Let's say 10 or 15
to be safe.
211
00:07:28,537 --> 00:07:30,287
Well, how about
me make it a cool 40?
212
00:07:30,322 --> 00:07:31,989
I'm sorry.
It's just important.
213
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,408
Well, this is important too.
It's kinda why we came here.
214
00:07:34,442 --> 00:07:36,460
I'm sorry, could you...
Just step over here?
215
00:07:36,495 --> 00:07:38,963
- You're in the shot.
- Oh, of course.
216
00:07:39,497 --> 00:07:40,831
Her life is so awesome.
217
00:07:41,582 --> 00:07:42,483
You're lucky you're friends
with her.
218
00:07:42,518 --> 00:07:45,052
Shut up, Bulgaria!
219
00:07:46,773 --> 00:07:48,665
I know, well, that's the
great thing about treaties,
220
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,382
- It doesn't even matter.
- Hey! I'm back.
221
00:07:50,916 --> 00:07:52,267
Or, as they say in Denmark...
"I'm back."
222
00:07:52,301 --> 00:07:53,534
Most people speak English.
223
00:07:53,552 --> 00:07:55,503
So are you guys ready
to polish off this treaty?
224
00:07:55,537 --> 00:07:58,956
Oh, uh... actually,
I merged our treaty
225
00:07:58,991 --> 00:08:01,426
with Russia
and China's treaty.
226
00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:03,478
I got cut out
of my own treaty?
227
00:08:03,512 --> 00:08:05,563
Yeah. I got sick
of treading water,
228
00:08:05,597 --> 00:08:08,850
so I swam over to Asia,
made a deal.
229
00:08:09,884 --> 00:08:12,486
The nation of Denmark
would like to formerly request
230
00:08:12,521 --> 00:08:14,022
a summit
with the nation of Peru
231
00:08:14,056 --> 00:08:16,023
over there
by the refreshment table.
232
00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:18,827
Because the nation of Denmark
needs a juice box.
233
00:08:19,561 --> 00:08:21,529
I am shocked an appalled
by the actions
234
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:23,631
of the honorable delegate
from Peru.
235
00:08:23,665 --> 00:08:25,633
Leslie, just...
236
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,601
look...
237
00:08:27,636 --> 00:08:29,453
I thought I could handle
being friends with you.
238
00:08:29,504 --> 00:08:31,872
But I can't, okay?
239
00:08:31,907 --> 00:08:33,140
Now, we agreed the other night
240
00:08:33,175 --> 00:08:36,310
that we can't spend time
together.
241
00:08:36,345 --> 00:08:38,179
I think that was
the right call.
242
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,463
But that was in
a romantic way.
243
00:08:39,514 --> 00:08:41,782
We can still spend time
together as friends.
244
00:08:41,817 --> 00:08:43,217
It doesn't work that way.
245
00:08:43,251 --> 00:08:45,353
You can't just chop up
the aspects of a relationship
246
00:08:45,387 --> 00:08:46,637
into discrete parts
247
00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:49,140
and select the ones you want
like a buffet.
248
00:08:49,191 --> 00:08:52,393
- Why not?
- Because it's selfish.
249
00:08:52,427 --> 00:08:54,962
Stop being obtuse.
250
00:08:54,996 --> 00:08:56,997
Look, I understand
where he's coming from.
251
00:08:57,032 --> 00:08:59,033
But I have been nothing
but straightforward with him,
252
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:01,235
and if anyone
in the entire world
253
00:09:01,269 --> 00:09:03,738
should understand the difficult
position I'm in, it's...
254
00:09:03,772 --> 00:09:06,490
It's just I've made an effort
255
00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:08,459
and I've shared
my flags with him,
256
00:09:08,493 --> 00:09:10,344
and suddenly,
he doesn't want to be friends?
257
00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:11,079
You know what?
258
00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:13,414
That leaves me
with only one option.
259
00:09:13,448 --> 00:09:15,249
Just excuse me for a...
260
00:09:16,351 --> 00:09:18,653
Attention.
This is an urgent world matter.
261
00:09:18,687 --> 00:09:20,971
Due to a recent betrayal,
my homeland,
262
00:09:21,006 --> 00:09:22,056
the great state of Denmark,
263
00:09:22,091 --> 00:09:25,342
has officially decided
to declare war on Peru.
264
00:09:25,394 --> 00:09:28,696
Scandinavian brothers,
on my signal.
265
00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:30,598
Unleash hell!
266
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:35,686
See, I just don't believe
in this whole
267
00:09:35,737 --> 00:09:37,738
don't let people know
how you feel nonsense.
268
00:09:37,773 --> 00:09:39,707
I love telling people
how I feel.
269
00:09:39,741 --> 00:09:40,974
Mostly because
I love most people.
270
00:09:40,992 --> 00:09:42,493
And I love telling them
that I love them.
271
00:09:42,527 --> 00:09:44,044
You didn't tell that girl
you love her, did you?
272
00:09:44,079 --> 00:09:46,080
- No. I'm not crazy.
- What is this urgent meeting
273
00:09:46,114 --> 00:09:47,531
with Donna and Jerry?
274
00:09:47,582 --> 00:09:48,866
Ann Perkins.
I took your advice.
275
00:09:48,918 --> 00:09:50,685
- My sarcastic advice.
- Precisely.
276
00:09:50,719 --> 00:09:51,620
And we're getting
to the bottom
277
00:09:51,654 --> 00:09:54,038
of what's going on
with me and Jerry's daughter,
278
00:09:54,089 --> 00:09:55,539
and I thought you would be
a tremendous addition
279
00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:56,758
to this think tank.
280
00:09:56,792 --> 00:09:58,759
This is incredibly
inappropriate.
281
00:09:58,794 --> 00:10:00,878
- Oh, thank you!
- Okay, I'm game.
282
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,931
No. I'm not kidding.
283
00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:05,883
My name's Gary,
and I'm from Gary, Indiana.
284
00:10:05,934 --> 00:10:06,884
Amazing.
285
00:10:06,936 --> 00:10:08,169
People like hearing that.
286
00:10:08,203 --> 00:10:10,304
It's probably one of my
stronger anecdotes.
287
00:10:10,338 --> 00:10:13,307
A fact is not
an anecdote, Gary.
288
00:10:13,341 --> 00:10:14,558
Here's an anecdote...
289
00:10:14,609 --> 00:10:16,811
Today I met the most
boring man in the world.
290
00:10:16,845 --> 00:10:18,379
His name was Gary.
291
00:10:18,413 --> 00:10:19,380
Hmm.
292
00:10:19,414 --> 00:10:21,382
Now...
293
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:22,817
Keith.
294
00:10:22,851 --> 00:10:24,285
Under sex, you wrote...
295
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:27,321
"Yes. Ha ha, ha ha,
ha ha."
296
00:10:27,355 --> 00:10:29,406
- Well-played.
- Thank you.
297
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,225
Ah, but all jokes aside.
298
00:10:31,259 --> 00:10:34,495
I'm a boy.
299
00:10:34,529 --> 00:10:36,130
Keith, I had this job
for four years.
300
00:10:36,164 --> 00:10:38,566
And I can tell you, you get out
of it what you put into it.
301
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,067
What are you hoping
to get out of it?
302
00:10:40,101 --> 00:10:41,502
In like a month or so.
303
00:10:41,536 --> 00:10:43,170
- What?
- Oh...What!
304
00:10:43,205 --> 00:10:46,106
What am I hoping
to get out of this job?
305
00:10:46,141 --> 00:10:47,475
Yeah.
306
00:10:47,509 --> 00:10:49,643
Yeah. Like one...
one month of money...
307
00:10:49,678 --> 00:10:51,479
Would be...
would be just right.
308
00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:53,314
Let me give you a situation.
309
00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:56,250
You're hosting a town hall
meeting for local businesses.
310
00:10:56,284 --> 00:10:57,518
Uh...
That's so much stuff.
311
00:10:57,552 --> 00:11:00,571
You just, uh... kept on going.
312
00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:01,822
That was like one thing.
313
00:11:01,857 --> 00:11:03,324
I didn't even get
to the situation yet.
314
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:05,943
Oh!
All right.
315
00:11:05,994 --> 00:11:07,795
Well, thanks, guys.
316
00:11:07,829 --> 00:11:10,948
I think we've all seen enough.
317
00:11:10,999 --> 00:11:13,167
Still not totally sure
what I'm applying for.
318
00:11:13,201 --> 00:11:16,537
But...if you ask me,
I think it went pretty well.
319
00:11:17,071 --> 00:11:19,757
What we need to focus on
is how to destroy Peru,
320
00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:21,876
specifically
one person who lives there.
321
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:24,094
Madame Ambassador,
are you changing the scenario?
322
00:11:24,129 --> 00:11:26,180
We didn't prepare for this.
323
00:11:26,214 --> 00:11:28,432
Global politics can change,
and scenarios can arise
324
00:11:28,466 --> 00:11:30,885
and suddenly you're just like,
"wait, I thought this one thing,
325
00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:32,386
"but look over there.
That's a different thing,
326
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,021
and it's changing everything,"
and I'm like, "what?"
327
00:11:34,055 --> 00:11:37,191
Hold up."
Who has tanks for me?
328
00:11:37,225 --> 00:11:38,726
I-I'm sorry, but...
329
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,811
We're gonna keep trying
to solve the food crisis.
330
00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:43,147
Food schmood.
This is war.
331
00:11:43,198 --> 00:11:45,816
God, it's time for you
to nut up, Switzerland.
332
00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:47,618
Well, well, well,
look who is brave enough
333
00:11:47,652 --> 00:11:49,203
to show his face in Europe.
334
00:11:49,237 --> 00:11:50,638
Say the word, Leslie.
335
00:11:50,672 --> 00:11:53,157
I'll sick my army
of lions on him.
336
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:54,742
Okay, look, I think, um...
337
00:11:54,776 --> 00:11:57,478
Things are starting to get
a little out of control here.
338
00:11:57,512 --> 00:11:58,812
I agree.
You betrayed me,
339
00:11:58,847 --> 00:12:01,549
and you went behind my back,
and now you need to pay.
340
00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:02,800
I need to... I need to pay.
341
00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:04,318
Do I stutter?
342
00:12:04,352 --> 00:12:05,803
Oh. Okay. Fair enough.
343
00:12:05,837 --> 00:12:07,888
Oh, you know what?
You might wanna borrow this.
344
00:12:07,923 --> 00:12:09,757
Ew, no one wants your
dirty underwear, Ben.
345
00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:12,092
It's not dirty underwear.
It's a white flag,
346
00:12:12,127 --> 00:12:13,727
and you may as well start
waving it right now...
347
00:12:13,762 --> 00:12:15,229
the only thing
I will be waving
348
00:12:15,263 --> 00:12:16,764
is your decapitated head
on a stick
349
00:12:16,798 --> 00:12:19,600
in front of your
weeping mother!
350
00:12:20,852 --> 00:12:22,236
Good lord.
351
00:12:22,352 --> 00:12:23,736
They were duds, Ron.
352
00:12:23,805 --> 00:12:25,105
Really,
anything would be better
353
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,607
than the people
we interviewed today.
354
00:12:26,641 --> 00:12:28,375
I guess you're right, Tom.
355
00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:29,827
I'm not gonna find
another you.
356
00:12:29,861 --> 00:12:31,178
You were perfect.
357
00:12:31,212 --> 00:12:34,365
Competent enough to keep
the bosses off my back,
358
00:12:34,416 --> 00:12:37,217
but selfish enough
to slow down all the work.
359
00:12:37,252 --> 00:12:39,253
Tom Haverfords
don't grow on trees.
360
00:12:39,287 --> 00:12:41,455
If they did, I'd sell 'em.
361
00:12:41,489 --> 00:12:42,957
Tommy trees.
362
00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:44,858
Would you consider
coming back?
363
00:12:45,593 --> 00:12:47,595
Sorry, Ron.
No can do.
364
00:12:47,629 --> 00:12:49,630
I'm like a shark.
I don't swim backwards.
365
00:12:49,664 --> 00:12:51,799
See ya later, man.
366
00:12:53,902 --> 00:12:55,536
We've been making
great strides
367
00:12:55,570 --> 00:12:57,605
with genetically modified
crops
368
00:12:57,639 --> 00:13:00,240
and would gladly pledge
to continue the growth of...
369
00:13:00,275 --> 00:13:01,575
excuse me,
Madame Ambassador.
370
00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:02,843
- Excuse me.
- I'm not finished.
371
00:13:02,861 --> 00:13:04,111
Oh, really?
372
00:13:04,145 --> 00:13:06,213
Then why do I have
the microphone?
373
00:13:06,247 --> 00:13:10,401
I move that the Security Council
formally condemn Denmark
374
00:13:10,452 --> 00:13:11,869
and stop them from making
375
00:13:11,903 --> 00:13:14,622
any more unwarranted
acts of aggression.
376
00:13:14,656 --> 00:13:17,291
As long as you quit
derailing the conference.
377
00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:19,076
People are dying of hunger
in Africa.
378
00:13:19,127 --> 00:13:20,628
Oh, cry me a river.
379
00:13:20,662 --> 00:13:22,129
All in favor
of the resolution.
380
00:13:24,132 --> 00:13:26,033
- What?!
- Oh, that's interesting.
381
00:13:26,051 --> 00:13:28,969
The resolution passes
with flying colors.
382
00:13:29,004 --> 00:13:31,555
Denmark is formally condemned.
383
00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:33,140
Bam!
384
00:13:34,909 --> 00:13:37,311
That's no problemo, Peru,
385
00:13:37,345 --> 00:13:40,314
because Denmark no longer
recognizes the authority
386
00:13:40,348 --> 00:13:42,216
of this international
gang of thugs.
387
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:44,718
And history
will be unkind to those
388
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,737
who stand opposed
to justice.
389
00:13:46,771 --> 00:13:50,074
Together, we stand...
and I ask all of you...
390
00:13:50,108 --> 00:13:53,727
who is ready to join
the Coalition of the Willing?
391
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:58,165
The Moon shall join
your coalition.
392
00:13:58,199 --> 00:13:59,583
Yeah!
We got the freaking moon.
393
00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:02,403
What are you gonna do
without tides, Peru?
394
00:14:02,437 --> 00:14:04,922
Okay. We need to stop
dealing in hypotheticals.
395
00:14:04,956 --> 00:14:07,908
Ann, we dated.
What happened to us?
396
00:14:07,942 --> 00:14:10,744
Really?
Do you... wanna get real?
397
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,963
Sure.
Sounds like fun.
398
00:14:13,014 --> 00:14:15,632
Sometimes your relentless
cheeriness is confusing.
399
00:14:16,084 --> 00:14:17,484
Like that time we went
to Eagleton
400
00:14:17,519 --> 00:14:19,753
and we got that hotel room
with the jacuzzi...
401
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,305
Ooh, this just
got real good!
402
00:14:21,356 --> 00:14:22,940
And the jacuzzi broke.
403
00:14:22,974 --> 00:14:25,109
But I did... eat food
off of your body.
404
00:14:25,143 --> 00:14:27,761
- Oh, come on.
- All right, Chris and Ann!
405
00:14:27,796 --> 00:14:30,030
I just wanna
go back to work.
406
00:14:30,065 --> 00:14:31,615
So the Coalition
of the Willing
407
00:14:31,649 --> 00:14:33,967
is Denmark, Botswana,
and the Moon.
408
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:35,319
The big three.
409
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:36,870
Now, here's what
we're gonna do.
410
00:14:36,905 --> 00:14:39,456
Ben is probably shoring up
his support in South America.
411
00:14:39,491 --> 00:14:41,125
While he does that,
we are gonna make sure...
412
00:14:41,159 --> 00:14:43,293
Attention!
413
00:14:43,328 --> 00:14:45,662
The Security Council
has decided to expel
414
00:14:45,714 --> 00:14:48,615
Peru and Denmark
from the United Nations.
415
00:14:48,650 --> 00:14:50,501
Madame Ambassadeur...
Pourquoi?
416
00:14:50,552 --> 00:14:52,953
'Cause you guys suck.
Look around.
417
00:14:53,471 --> 00:14:56,390
We thought you were gonna teach
us how to solve problems.
418
00:14:56,424 --> 00:14:59,476
You've ruined my favorite club.
Thanks a lot.
419
00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:01,795
Did we win?
420
00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,997
I think we won!
421
00:15:04,032 --> 00:15:07,151
What were we trying to do?
I learned so much today.
422
00:15:12,116 --> 00:15:13,984
I just wanted to say
423
00:15:14,035 --> 00:15:15,785
that I thought
it was really cool
424
00:15:15,820 --> 00:15:18,038
how everything
fell apart in there.
425
00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:21,708
And also,
maybe you should talk to Ben.
426
00:15:21,742 --> 00:15:24,244
No. He's being a jerk.
427
00:15:24,278 --> 00:15:26,160
Please?
When Ben gets upset,
428
00:15:26,195 --> 00:15:28,561
he becomes
a really bad roommate.
429
00:15:28,596 --> 00:15:30,697
He takes really long
sadness baths
430
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:33,166
and makes me late for stuff.
431
00:15:35,186 --> 00:15:37,237
I hate it here.
432
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:39,405
Can't wait to graduate.
433
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:45,678
Yeah, but summer's
gonna totally kick ass.
434
00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:47,347
So you're saying
435
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:49,515
that I intimidated you?
436
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,034
- No. Not exactly.
- Come on.
437
00:15:51,068 --> 00:15:53,453
Talk more about that tantric
workshop y'all went to.
438
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:55,455
I was so into you, okay,
439
00:15:55,489 --> 00:15:58,291
and you basically turned me into
a female version of yourself,
440
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,492
and then you got bored
dating me
441
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,028
because you were
dating yourself.
442
00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:03,396
Huh...
443
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,398
I mean, I was jogging.
I hate jogging.
444
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,635
- Jogging's amazing!
- Jogging is the worst, Chris.
445
00:16:08,669 --> 00:16:09,702
I mean, I know it keeps you
healthy,
446
00:16:09,737 --> 00:16:11,137
but God, at what cost?
447
00:16:11,172 --> 00:16:13,473
Well, I'm sorry that I added
five years to your life.
448
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:15,808
Now I'm being sarcastic.
449
00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:17,844
Like you. I'm doing
something that you like.
450
00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:19,062
Being with you
451
00:16:19,096 --> 00:16:21,147
definitely made me do
a lot of soul-searching,
452
00:16:21,182 --> 00:16:22,715
and I came out the other side
453
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,884
being a much more
self-possessed person.
454
00:16:24,919 --> 00:16:25,919
Well, I'm glad.
455
00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:28,605
Good luck with Millicent.
Just back off a little bit.
456
00:16:28,656 --> 00:16:30,990
Let her be herself.
Everything'll be fine.
457
00:16:31,025 --> 00:16:32,926
Thank you.
458
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,994
If you rearrange
the letters of Peru,
459
00:16:35,029 --> 00:16:37,280
you could spell Europe.
460
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,615
That's...
That's not true.
461
00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:40,566
Well...
You have to rearrange them.
462
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,118
- Oh...
- Delegates!
463
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,070
I know that you're angry
with each other.
464
00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:45,438
Hopefully, this will be
your opportunity
465
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,291
to have your very own
Camp David.
466
00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:49,742
In high school,
467
00:16:49,777 --> 00:16:51,077
my buddy David Fundis
would have
468
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,912
these campouts
in his backyard.
469
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,915
We would just chill out,
have a bonfire,
470
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:58,117
talk about whatever
was on our mind.
471
00:16:58,152 --> 00:17:00,920
We called it camp David.
472
00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:02,522
How do you know about
Camp David?
473
00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:04,023
How do you know about
camp David?
474
00:17:04,058 --> 00:17:05,775
Ooookay.
475
00:17:05,809 --> 00:17:07,860
You guys are being stupid,
so why don't you work it out
476
00:17:07,895 --> 00:17:12,148
- while Andy and I...
- Throw these scientist bottles
477
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,149
- off the roof?
- No.
478
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,500
That's right.
See ya.
479
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:18,504
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.
480
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:20,006
It's bad enough
that we can't be together,
481
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:23,209
but the thought of us
not being friends is...
482
00:17:23,244 --> 00:17:25,178
Is just too crappy
for me to handle.
483
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:27,647
I was... perhaps
484
00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:30,116
a little icier
than I needed to be.
485
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,485
I just need you
to be in my life.
486
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,954
You're too important to me.
487
00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,689
I wish I could say
it's possible.
488
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:38,658
I just... I don't know
if it is right now.
489
00:17:40,728 --> 00:17:42,895
Well, I propose a treaty
490
00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:45,965
that states that we have
a fun conversation
491
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,635
once a day at work
for five minutes.
492
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:52,338
I'll take it
to the Peruvian senate.
493
00:17:52,373 --> 00:17:53,573
Or whatever.
494
00:17:53,607 --> 00:17:54,674
- Please do that.
- I'll try.
495
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:55,825
I'll see what they say.
496
00:17:55,859 --> 00:17:57,994
What do we do
with those kids?
497
00:17:58,028 --> 00:17:59,478
We totally ruined
their club.
498
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:02,015
I could tell you what I would
like when I was their age.
499
00:18:02,049 --> 00:18:03,750
Ben, how are we gonna get
Kathy Ireland
500
00:18:03,784 --> 00:18:05,752
to do naked aerobics
for them?
501
00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:08,354
Okay. I regret
telling you that... very much.
502
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,507
Hey.
503
00:18:11,542 --> 00:18:13,176
Oh, hey, Ron.
504
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:15,494
All right.
I gotta come clean.
505
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:18,598
I saw you spraying
cologne samples at Macy's.
506
00:18:18,632 --> 00:18:20,733
What? Macy's?
That wasn't me.
507
00:18:20,768 --> 00:18:23,169
There's a Macy's in town?
Where's the Macy's in town?
508
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,405
I heard they have an amazing
cologne sample guy.
509
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:28,207
Just take the job, Tommy.
Come on back.
510
00:18:28,242 --> 00:18:29,942
I quit to peruse my dream.
511
00:18:29,977 --> 00:18:32,412
And my dream collapsed.
It's embarrassing, Ron.
512
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:35,698
I can't go from a CEO back
to being an administrator.
513
00:18:35,733 --> 00:18:37,184
Is there anything I can do
514
00:18:37,218 --> 00:18:40,853
to make you feel okay
about coming back?
515
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:42,422
Everyone, please...
516
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:44,240
Help me.
517
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,459
I'm trying to get Tom back.
518
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,578
I'm...
519
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:50,763
begging.
520
00:18:50,798 --> 00:18:53,199
This department just doesn't
work without you.
521
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:54,867
What do you say?
522
00:18:54,902 --> 00:18:58,237
Ron, this is embarrassing.
Even for you.
523
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,940
I'm not coming back.
524
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,343
Peace out, my dudes.
525
00:19:05,079 --> 00:19:07,814
Excuse me, everyone.
526
00:19:12,686 --> 00:19:14,070
That was great.
527
00:19:14,104 --> 00:19:15,788
So what I'm thinking is
I'll come back in a few days,
528
00:19:15,823 --> 00:19:16,789
you'll beg me again...
529
00:19:16,824 --> 00:19:17,924
aah!
530
00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:19,826
So if it's okay with you guys,
531
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,961
I would like to ask Ron
for my job back.
532
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,246
Ron...
533
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,865
May I have
my job back, please?
534
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,802
Thank you.
535
00:19:29,837 --> 00:19:32,405
I will see you all Monday.
536
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,508
Looking forward to it.
537
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,743
Ah, France,
538
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:38,795
bienvenue.
539
00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:40,129
My name is Cassidy,
540
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,914
- and I'm really annoyed with you.
- Yes.
541
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,300
And you have
every right to be,
542
00:19:43,351 --> 00:19:44,702
but we're hoping what we're
gonna show you right now
543
00:19:44,753 --> 00:19:46,520
will make up for that.
544
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,272
- What?
- Oh, my God!
545
00:19:49,306 --> 00:19:51,474
Pawnee
City Council chambers.
546
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:55,027
The nicest room in City Hall
by a factor of like a million.
547
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,447
Go ahead.
Sit down.
548
00:19:57,481 --> 00:19:59,765
Leslie and I feel terrible
549
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,951
for war breaking out
at your Model U.N.
550
00:20:01,985 --> 00:20:03,836
Which, for the record,
Denmark would have won,
551
00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:05,121
but that's neither here
nor there.
552
00:20:05,155 --> 00:20:06,606
Thanks to a coordinated effort
553
00:20:06,641 --> 00:20:09,342
between the parks department
and the city manager's office,
554
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:10,943
three months from now,
we are gonna hold
555
00:20:10,978 --> 00:20:13,780
a State-wide Model U.N.
In this room,
556
00:20:13,814 --> 00:20:15,882
- and you're gonna run the show.
- What?
557
00:20:15,917 --> 00:20:18,851
And we will just be...
not here.
558
00:20:18,886 --> 00:20:21,020
- Or taking some small countries.
- No, no, no, no.
559
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,221
No. Fine.
Not here.
560
00:20:22,256 --> 00:20:24,290
- Sound good?
- Yes!
561
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,625
Those kids are passionate
about something.
562
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:27,894
That's important.
563
00:20:27,928 --> 00:20:31,631
That's all there is, really,
is passion.
564
00:20:31,649 --> 00:20:34,684
Passion is what makes
for good treaties...
565
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,686
- Cheese!
- Good relationships...
566
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:37,987
Good pizza.
567
00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:39,338
Good friends.
568
00:20:39,373 --> 00:20:41,007
Good everything.
569
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:42,876
Including wars.
570
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:47,854
Ladies and Gentlemen,
571
00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:49,401
"He was gone but never
forgotten."
572
00:20:49,435 --> 00:20:50,819
"He makes all the ladies
want..."
573
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,320
No, I'm not gonna say that.
574
00:20:53,471 --> 00:20:54,973
"Swagger... beats...
575
00:20:55,007 --> 00:20:57,409
and I get the...
Who's the..."
576
00:20:57,443 --> 00:20:58,776
All right, forget it.
577
00:20:58,794 --> 00:21:00,778
Welcome back, Tom Haverford!
578
00:21:02,164 --> 00:21:04,516
Tick-tock,
it's Tommy time!
579
00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:06,784
I'm sorry,
I have to object again.
580
00:21:06,802 --> 00:21:09,487
This just seems unfair.
I understand that, Jerry.
581
00:21:09,522 --> 00:21:11,622
But the problem is
is that Tom came back
582
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,259
and Andy's my assistant, so I
kinda need him close to me.
583
00:21:14,293 --> 00:21:16,144
Okay, but I can't even
hear anything
584
00:21:16,178 --> 00:21:18,930
because of the noise
from the copier.
585
00:21:18,964 --> 00:21:20,965
Sorry. These are
really important.
586
00:21:21,465 --> 00:21:25,455
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
587
00:21:25,897 --> 00:21:29,081
WEBDL Sync: VeRdiKT
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