1 00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:02,570 - THIS IS A FOR-CERTAIN, OKAY? 2 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,605 I CREATE A GAME SHOW. TWO PEOPLE ON STAGE, RIGHT? 3 00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:06,274 THEY FLIP A COIN. 4 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,342 ONE OF THEM HAS TO PERFORM OPEN HEART SURGERY. 5 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:10,544 THE OTHER ONE HAS TO RECEIVE OPEN HEART SURGERY. 6 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:13,714 WE CALL IT... OPEN HEART SURGERY. 7 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,784 - HOW ABOUT THIS--YOU BUY A GULFSTREAM G4 JET. 8 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,086 - ALREADY INTERESTED. - TAKE THE WHEELS OFF. 9 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,453 - GET 'EM OFF OF THERE. 10 00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,255 - TURN THE JET INTO AN APARTMENT BUILDING. 11 00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:22,756 AND PEOPLE COULD LIVE INSIDE THEIR OWN PRIVATE JET. 12 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,358 WE'RE CURRENTLY COMING UP WITH BUSINESS IDEAS 13 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,759 FOR JEAN-RALPHIO, 'CAUSE AS OF TODAY, 14 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,129 HIS BANK ACCOUNT IS BLOWING UP. 15 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,431 - I MADE MY MONEY THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY: 16 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,733 * I GOT RUN OVER BY A LEXUS * 17 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,835 - I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WON ALL THAT MONEY 18 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,137 IN THE LAWSUIT. 19 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,638 YOU BARELY GOT HURT AT ALL. 20 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,640 - DO YOU WANNA GET RUN OVER? BECAUSE I KNOW A GUY. 21 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,343 SUPER GENTLE. MINOR SCRAPES AND BRUISES. 22 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,679 MAJOR DOLLARS AND CENTS. 23 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,815 - I GOT IT. WHAT ARE YOU AMAZING AT? 24 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:49,350 - I KNOW IT. WE BOTH KNOW IT. 25 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,718 LET'S JUST SAY IT AT THE SAME TIME. 26 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,753 both: CREATING A SPECTACLE. - NO, I GOT IT. 27 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,089 YOU CREATE PAWNEE'S FIRST AND ONLY 28 00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:59,427 HIGH-END, ALL-MEDIA ENTERTAINMENT CONGLOMERATE. 29 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,728 - THAT'S ABSOLUTELY WHAT I HAVE TO DO. 30 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,363 WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 31 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,365 - IT MEANS AUDIO, VIDEO, MOVIES. 32 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,100 - YEAH. - 3-D MOVIES. 33 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,501 NIGHTCLUBS, iPHONE APPS. 34 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:08,869 IF IT'S ENTERTAINMENT, YOU'RE INVOLVED. 35 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,439 - YES, OF COURSE I AM. - AND YOU CALL IT... 36 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,740 - ENTERTAINMENT 7WENTY. 37 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,509 - NOOOO! WHY? WHY? 38 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,677 - YOU GOTTA STOP SCREAMING. 39 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,212 - I WILL. I JUST GET EXCITED. 40 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,148 WHY DO WE CALL IT ENTERTAINMENT 7WENTY? 41 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,316 - 'CAUSE YOU'RE WILLING TO GO AROUND THE WORLD TWICE 42 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:23,784 FOR YOUR CLIENTS. 43 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,853 - THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE! BUT LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME. 44 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,255 I'M GONNA NEED YOU ON MY TEAM 45 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,856 TO PULL THIS OFF, ALL RIGHT? 46 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:30,391 I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU. 47 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,592 - I DON'T KNOW, MAN. I-I CAN'T. 48 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,594 I'D HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB. 49 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,263 - OKAY, I'LL DO IT WITHOUT YOU. 50 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:38,266 [triumphant music] 51 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:46,307 * 52 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,618 - I HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT NEWS 53 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,553 ABOUT OUR FAVORITE MINI-HORSE, LI'L SEBASTIAN. 54 00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:01,589 - YEA! - LI'L SEBASTIAN! 55 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,924 - HE DIED LAST NIGHT. 56 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,426 - NO. - [gasps] 57 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,495 - BUT WE CAN TAKE COMFORT IN THE FACT 58 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,829 THAT HE IS IN HEAVEN NOW, 59 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,232 DOING THE TWO THINGS HE LOVES DOING THE MOST. 60 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,534 EATING CARROTS AND URINATING FREELY. 61 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,603 - WHEN I WALKED IN THIS MORNING 62 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,205 AND SAW THE FLAG WAS AT HALF-MAST, 63 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,673 I THOUGHT, "ALL RIGHT. 64 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,876 ANOTHER BUREAUCRAT ATE IT." 65 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,413 BUT THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS LI'L SEBASTIAN. 66 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,381 HALF-MAST IS TOO HIGH. 67 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,251 SHOW SOME DAMNED RESPECT. 68 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,919 - BECAUSE OF ALL HE'S DONE FOR THE TOWN, 69 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,387 WE ARE GONNA BE HOLDING 70 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,655 A SMALL MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR HIM. 71 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,390 BUT FOR NOW, 72 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:39,327 I THINK WE SHOULD BOW OUR HEADS IN A MOMENT OF SILENCE. 73 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,561 - [clears throat] 74 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,430 [rumbling noise approaches] 75 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,598 [playing on portable radio] - * HAVE A GOOD TIME 76 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:48,502 * THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN * 77 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:52,773 * IS THE PREROGATIVE TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN, YEAH * 78 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,875 * OH-OH OH, OH 79 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,444 * WE'RE TOTALLY CRAZY 80 00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:57,678 * GIVE HIM A LADY 81 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:01,982 - I GOT IT, THANK YOU. 82 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:07,755 IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS WHEN SOMEONE OR SOME HORSE PASSES 83 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,890 THAT YOU REALLY TAKE STOCK OF YOUR LIFE. 84 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,959 YOU LOOK AROUND YOU AND YOU START TO REALIZE 85 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,761 WHAT IT IS THAT YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT. 86 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,664 FOR LI'L SEBASTIAN, 87 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,999 I IMAGINE IT WAS GOOD, FRESH OATS, 88 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,935 A TROUGH OF WATER, AND A WILLING SEXUAL PARTNER. 89 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,771 OR NON-WILLING. 90 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,640 HE WAS A HORSE, SO I THINK THEY HAD TO DO IT EITHER WAY. 91 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,478 - HEY. 92 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,613 HEY, ANN, HOW'S IT GOING? 93 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,981 YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND. 94 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,649 I KNOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET LESLIE HERE. 95 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,718 - BUT I'M ALSO CURIOUS ABOUT HOW IT'S GOING. 96 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,653 - MM-HMM. LESLIE'S BUSY. 97 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,389 SHE'S WORKING ON THE LI'L SEBASTIAN MEMORIAL SERVICE. 98 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,990 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE GAVE ME THIS NOTE... 99 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,692 TO GIVE TO YOU. 100 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,328 AND SHE ALSO WANTED ME TO KISS YOU DEEPLY, 101 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,629 WHICH I'M GONNA HAVE TO PASS ON. 102 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,997 - HA, OKAY. 103 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,665 - I REALLY LIKE MY NEW PART-TIME JOB HERE. 104 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,000 MY OFFICEMATE MOVED DOWN THE HALL, 105 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,603 SO I HAVE THIS WHOLE ROOM JUST FOR ME. 106 00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,906 AND BEN AND LESLIE WHO SECRETLY MEET HERE... 107 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:02,643 40 TIMES A DAY. 108 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,514 - SHE DREW A KISS MONSTER. 109 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:09,817 ON THE--ON THE NOTE. - YEAH. 110 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,886 - LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY WELCOME TO USE MY OFFICE. 111 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,457 JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING ON MY...DESK. 112 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,393 - OH, WE DON'T... YOU KNOW. 113 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:20,928 WE JUST LIKE TO WORK IN THE SAME PLACE 114 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,696 AND THEN WE TALK AND HOLD HANDS. 115 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,932 - YUCK. THAT'S SOMEHOW WORSE. 116 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,568 - YEAH, IT SOUNDED BAD WHEN I SAID IT. 117 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,404 - FROM NOW ON, WE STOP MOURNING LI'L SEBASTIAN'S DEATH 118 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,773 AND WE START CELEBRATING HIS LIFE. 119 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,008 THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD'VE WANTED. - AMEN! 120 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:39,613 WE NEED TO SEND THAT GLORIOUS BEAST INTO THE GREAT BEYOND 121 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:44,051 WITH A DISPLAY THAT RIVALS THE SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW. 122 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,554 ALSO, THE BUDGET IS $600. 123 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,088 - SO MAINTENANCE IS GONNA SET UP THE STAGE. 124 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,891 RON WILL BE LAYING THE CEREMONIAL WREATH. 125 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,561 - UH, LESLIE, THERE'S A 13TH CENTURY ITALIAN POEM 126 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:54,862 BY DANTE ALIGHIERI 127 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,797 THAT WOULD BE VERY APPROPRIATE. 128 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,699 - OH, JERRY, THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL. 129 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,435 OKAY, ANDY, I NEED YOU TO WRITE A MEMORIAL SONG. 130 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,003 SOMETHING LIKE CANDLE IN THE WIND 131 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,605 BUT 5,000 TIMES BETTER. 132 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,906 - EASY. 133 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,541 - HEY, IF YOU WANT A SONG FROM ANDY DWYER, 134 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,109 LEAD SINGER OF MOUSE RAT, YOU SHOULD KNOW 135 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,011 HE DOESN'T GET OUT OF BED FOR LESS THAN $1,000. 136 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,847 - WELL, HE SLEEPS ON A FUTON, SO WE CAN GIVE HIM 50 BUCKS. 137 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,049 - SOLD. [mimics gunshot] 138 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,851 - OKAY, HERE IS A MEMO WITH SOME FACTS 139 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,653 ABOUT LI'L SEBASTIAN. 140 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:23,957 I THINK YOU'LL FIND YOURS PARTICULARLY INTERESTING. 141 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,826 - IT'S JUST A LIST OF FACTS. 142 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,361 - HMM? 143 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:28,796 - OKAY, MINE SAYS, "YOU HAVE A CUTE BUTT." 144 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,063 - HM? 145 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,500 - THAT'S WEIRD. MUST BE A TYPO. 146 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,767 - YEAH, JERRY, IT'S PROBABLY A TYPO, 147 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:34,968 BECAUSE IT PROBABLY SHOULD'VE SAID, 148 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,637 "YOU HAVE A CUBE BUTT." 149 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,838 - 'CAUSE YOUR BUTT'S SHAPED LIKE A CUBE. 150 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,139 - YEAH. 151 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,608 - THE QUESTION IS, WHY IS MY MEMO DIFFERENT 152 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,110 THAN EVERYONE ELSE'S? 153 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,380 - [chanting] CUBE BUTT, CUBE BUTT. 154 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:47,648 all: CUBE BUTT, CUBE BUTT. 155 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:52,786 CUBE BUTT, CUBE BUTT, CUBE BUTT. 156 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,488 - WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS 157 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,023 THIS IS JUST TENDONITIS. 158 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,758 - HOW IS THAT GOOD NEWS? 159 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,427 - THE OTHER OPTION WAS SHOULDER CANCER. 160 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,495 - REALLY? - NO. 161 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,764 LOOK, YOU EXERCISE A LOT. YOU'RE IN GREAT SHAPE. 162 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,166 LITTLE THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN WITH MEN OF YOUR AGE. 163 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,668 - MEN OF MY AGE? 164 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,869 HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM? 165 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,671 - 42. - HA. 166 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,841 - I AM 44, AND I PLAN TO LIVE TO BE 150. 167 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,075 - OKAY. 168 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,944 - SO. WHAT'S THE CURE? 169 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,012 - GET A TIME MACHINE. GO BACK TO BEING 20. 170 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:22,416 - DR. HARRIS, YOU ARE LITERALLY 171 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,418 THE MEANEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. 172 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,487 - OKAY, ALL THE PERMITS CLEARED FOR THE... 173 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,755 HORSE FUNERAL. 174 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,457 - WHAT WAS THAT TONE? 175 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,426 - WHAT? OH, NOTHING. 176 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:35,128 I'M--I'M VERY SAD... ABOUT THIS. 177 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,830 - QUESTION! WHO'S A GENIUS? 178 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,198 ANSWER: TOM HAVERFORD. 179 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,434 REASON: JEAN-RALPHIO JUST STARTED 180 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,736 AN EXCLUSIVE, HIGH-END PRODUCTION COMPANY, 181 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,004 AND HE'S WILLING TO PUT ON 182 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,172 LI'L SEBASTIAN'S MEMORIAL SERVICE 183 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,008 PRO BONO, JUST FOR THE PUB. 184 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:51,879 PUB IS AN ABBREVIATION FOR PUBLICITY. 185 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,147 - JEAN-RALPHIO IS A CLOWN. 186 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,917 THIS IS THE MEMORIAL FOR LI'L SEBASTIAN, 187 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,886 NOT DOUBLE-COUPON NIGHT AT A STRIP CLUB. 188 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,187 - FIRST OFF, DOUBLE-COUPON NIGHT 189 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,789 IS AN INCREDIBLE VALUE. 190 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,924 SECONDLY, THIS GUY JUST STARTED A BUSINESS. 191 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,826 HE'S MY FRIEND. IT WOULD REALLY HELP HIM OUT. 192 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,495 PLUS, I'M GONNA OVERSEE EVERYTHING 193 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,929 AND MAKE SURE IT GOES GREAT. 194 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,665 - OKAY, TOM, WE TRUST YOU. 195 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:12,933 MAKE US PROUD. 196 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:16,470 - MAKE HIM PROUD. 197 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,973 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST PHOTOSHOP THAT OUT? 198 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,575 - OH, HI, ANN PERKINS. 199 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,143 - HI. HOW ARE YOU? 200 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,513 - I'M DYING. - WHAT? 201 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,214 - TENDONITIS. - OH. 202 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:30,117 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SHOULD LEAD WITH "I'M DYING." 203 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,685 - YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. 204 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,087 SO. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 205 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,023 - I'M JUST HELPING LESLIE PLAN 206 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,959 LI'L SEBASTIAN'S MEMORIAL SERVICE. 207 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,729 - LI'L SEBASTIAN DIED? THAT'S TERRIBLE. 208 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,764 - YEAH, WELL...HE WAS OLD, 209 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,066 AND HE HAD A LOT OF AILMENTS. 210 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,602 - LIKE TENDONITIS? - I DON'T KNOW. 211 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,803 I DON'T HAVE HIS CHART IN FRONT OF ME. 212 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,972 - COULD YOU GET IT? - W-WHAT? 213 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,807 N--THERE'S NO CHART. 214 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,108 - [gasping] OH, MY GOD. 215 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,811 DEATH IS INESCAPABLE. 216 00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:02,550 GOODBYE, ANN PERKINS. 217 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:05,619 - OKAY, SO I'M MEETING HIM IN YOUR OFFICE IN A FEW MINUTES. 218 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,655 HOW DO I LOOK? - WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR? 219 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,757 - SOPHISTICATED WITH A HINT OF SLUTTY. 220 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,258 - BULLS-EYE. 221 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,260 IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT A GUY. 222 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,728 - THANKS. I DON'T KNOW. 223 00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,196 WHEN I LOOK AT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, 224 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,165 IT FEELS ALMOST PERFECT. 225 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,267 I MEAN, WE HAVE TO SNEAK AROUND, 226 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,636 BUT WEIRDLY, IT'S KIND OF FUN THAT NOBODY KNOWS. 227 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,937 - I CAN SEE THAT. 228 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,673 - BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. HOW'S ANN? 229 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,307 - I'M PRETTY HAPPY RIGHT NOW, GENERALLY. 230 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,277 ALTHOUGH, I DID SEE CHRIS TODAY. HE ALWAYS JUST THROWS ME OFF. 231 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,979 - I DON'T EVEN WANNA TALK ABOUT CHRIS. 232 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,581 EVERY TIME I HEAR HIS NAME, I THINK ABOUT THE FACT 233 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,915 THAT HE'S GONNA FIND OUT ABOUT ME AND BEN 234 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,984 AND HE'S GONNA FIRE BOTH OF US. 235 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,620 AND...ABOUT HOW MUCH HE HURT YOU. 236 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:40,954 - YEAH, THERE YOU GO. - YEAH. 237 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,031 - HELLO, LESLIE. 238 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,900 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH BEN? 239 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,138 - WHAT? 240 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,673 - HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH BEN? 241 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,274 - THAT'S DISGUSTING AND WRONG. 242 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,343 I DON'T EVEN GET-- WHY WOULD--I-- 243 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,579 I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH ANYONE ANYWHERE. 244 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,980 IT'S NONE OF YOUR-- 245 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,882 YOU HAVE H-- THE NERVE-- 246 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,083 THE AUDACITY. 247 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,252 BEN IS MY BOSS, TECHNICALLY. 248 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,022 AND HE IS TERRIBLE, FACEWISE. 249 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,758 AND HOW--HOW... DO I KNOW, FRANKLY, 250 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,159 THAT YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM? 251 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,661 MAYBE YOU ARE. 252 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:21,929 MAYBE YOU'RE TRYING TO THROW ME OFF. 253 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:25,032 HM, CHECK AND MATE. 254 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,600 THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! 255 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:27,935 WHO DO I CALL? 256 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,302 - HEY, HEY. - HEY, HEY. 257 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,938 - HEY. HEY, RON. 258 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,906 LISTEN, YOU'RE JUST WHO I WAS LOOKING FOR. 259 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:36,043 ARE YOU-- DID YOU FORGET THE, UM-- 260 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,244 DID YOU--CAN I-- CAN I GET THAT THING? 261 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,112 CAN WE JUST, UH-- 262 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:40,614 DID YOU BRING IT? 263 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,915 - HMMM. - THIS ISN'T CONVINCING. 264 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:45,218 - [sighs] HOW DID YOU FIND OUT? 265 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,220 - WE'VE WORKED TOGETHER FOR A WHILE NOW. 266 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,122 I'D LIKE TO THINK I KNOW YOU PRETTY WELL. 267 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,259 PLUS, BEN BUTT-DIALED ME LAST NIGHT. 268 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,027 [Leslie's voice on phone] - OKAY, OKAY, AND THIS 269 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:57,898 IS HOW ELEANOR ROOSEVELT WOULD KISS. 270 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,132 [Ben's voice on phone] - HUH, WHOA. 271 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,968 ELEANOR LIKES THE TONGUE. 272 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,236 HEY, SHOW ME PELOSI AGAIN. 273 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,706 - [giggling] OKAY, LAY DOWN. 274 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:06,907 PLEASE TELL ME YOU HUNG UP 275 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,308 BEFORE RUTH BADER GINSBURG. 276 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,043 - UNFORTUNATELY NOT. 277 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,344 - UGH. 278 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,946 - THIS IS A SCANDAL WAITING TO HAPPEN. 279 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:16,684 IF YOU GET CAUGHT, WHICH YOU CLEARLY WILL, 280 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,019 CHRIS'LL FIRE YOU. 281 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,021 AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP HIM. 282 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,023 - RON, WE'RE BEING VERY CAREFUL. 283 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,391 [Leslie on phone] OH, PRESIDENT REAGAN, 284 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,193 MY BLAZER POPPED OPEN. 285 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,295 [Ben as Reagan] - WELL, MAGGIE THATCHER, 286 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,063 LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. [Leslie laughing] 287 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,733 IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE TO THIS SUMMIT MEETING. 288 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,235 OUR COUNTRIES HAVE HAD A VERY SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP. 289 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,970 - OKAY, YES. - OH, NO! 290 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,271 - YOU'VE PROVEN YOUR POINT. 291 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:41,141 - IN MY HEART, I'M SAD YOU HAD TO DIE. 292 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:45,946 LI'L HORSE, SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND LEARN TO FLY. 293 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,781 - HORSES DON'T FLY. 294 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:51,284 - THAT'S WHY I'M TELLING HIM... LEARN TO FLY. 295 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,419 - MM. - MM. 296 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,921 - COME ON, HELP ME. 297 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,255 THERE'S A LOT RIDING ON THIS. 298 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,690 THIS IS WHAT LI'L SEBASTIAN'S 299 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,125 GONNA LISTEN TO IN HORSEY HEAVEN. 300 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,093 - OKAY, LET ME HEAR YOUR FAVORITE ONE SO FAR. 301 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,095 - * YOU'RE A CHAMPION 302 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,997 * LITTLE HORSE 303 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,800 * AND YOU'RE DEAD 304 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,736 * YOU'RE THE CHAMPION 305 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,804 * OF DEATH 306 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:13,907 * YOU'RE THE CHAMPION OF DEATH * 307 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,909 - MAYBE TRY TO DO ONE 308 00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:17,878 WITHOUT THE WORD "DEAD" SO MUCH. 309 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,346 OR "DEATH" OR "YOU'RE DEAD." 310 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,881 - SEE? YOU'RE HELPING ME ALREADY. 311 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,016 - SO THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT KNOW 312 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,718 ARE MY MOM, ANN, AND RON. 313 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:25,853 AND THEY'RE NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING. 314 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,054 - RIGHT. 315 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,221 JUST NO MORE FOOLING AROUND AT WORK. 316 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,723 - UGH. 317 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:30,924 OKAY, YEAH. WE CAN'T. 318 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,392 - WELL, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, 319 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:35,763 A SITUATION COULD ARISE WHERE YOU DO SOMETHING GOOD, 320 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,430 AND I CONGRATULATE YOU. 321 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,399 LIKE WITH A PROFESSIONAL HUG. 322 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,268 YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE THIS. 323 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,804 - YES. - LIKE, "OH, CONGRATULATIONS." 324 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,372 - THAT FEELS APPROPRIATE. - YEAH. 325 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,174 - YEAH, I MEAN, I THINK WE CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT 326 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,342 AS LONG AS WE DON'T DO STUFF LIKE THIS. 327 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,477 [footsteps approaching] 328 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,179 - HEY. LOVEBIRDS. 329 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:56,984 WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS? 330 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,519 - YOU CAN JUST LEAVE IT THERE. - OKAY. 331 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,223 - SO MY MOM, RON, ANN, AND THAT GUY. 332 00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,094 - K-D-D-D-D-BANG. 333 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,428 - FOR THE MEMORIAL RIBBONS? 334 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,031 - NO DOUBT. WHICH ONE FLOATS YOUR PENIS? 335 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,501 - THEY'RE ALL BLACK. - [laughing] 336 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,169 MAYBE TO THE LAYMAN, JERRY. 337 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,238 OBSIDIAN, ONYX, MIDNIGHT, 338 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,173 LOST SOUL, ROLLING BLACKOUT, 339 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,309 SLEEPING PANTHER, AND VOID BY ARMANI. 340 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,277 HEY, JERRY, DOES THIS LOOK BLACK TO YOU TOO? 341 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:30,150 - [cackling] 342 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,518 - ANN! 343 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,821 SO GLAD I FOUND YOU. 344 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:36,256 CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 345 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,492 - UM, OKAY. 346 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,294 - I NEED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION... 347 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:44,431 AND IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE ANSWERING IT RIGHT NOW 348 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,167 YOU CAN TAKE SOME TIME AND THINK ABOUT IT. 349 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,038 THAT WOULD BE OKAY. - OKAY. 350 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:54,875 - IS TENDONITIS SYMPTOMATIC OF SOMETHING LARGER? 351 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:58,145 - REALLY? THAT'S THE QUESTION YOU WANTED TO ASK ME? 352 00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,980 - WELL, I'M JUST VERY WORRIED. 353 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,815 I'M NOT SURE THAT THIS DOCTOR'S BEEN PROPERLY TRAINED. 354 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,817 - YOU KNOW WHAT, CHRIS, I'M SORRY. 355 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:06,519 BUT I'M NOT YOUR NURSE, AND I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 356 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:10,223 AND I THOUGHT I WAS--TWICE-- AND I WAS WRONG. 357 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,558 WHICH WAS EMBARRASSING. 358 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:15,395 I'M JUST NOT READY TO BE YOUR FRIEND. 359 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:18,899 - OF COURSE. I'M SORRY. 360 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,501 I DO HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS BEFORE I DIE. 361 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,141 - HI, FRIEND. - HEY. 362 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,542 - HEY. - HEY. 363 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,245 - WHAT YOU SAW WAS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. 364 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,247 - I WAS JUST CONGRATULATING HER 365 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,916 BECAUSE SHE GOT SOME-- SOME GOOD NEWS. 366 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,384 - OH, RIGHT. - YEAH. 367 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,052 WE WERE--WE WERE BOTH KIND OF UP FOR THIS THING, 368 00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:40,420 THIS, UH, REALLY-- 369 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,056 - I WON THE MACARTHUR GENIUS GRANT. 370 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,524 - YEAH. - YEAH. 371 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,226 - YEAH, SO THAT'S WHAT THE HUG WAS ALL ABOUT. 372 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,595 - SURE. CONGRATULATIONS. 373 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,997 - THANK YOU. - HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 374 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,331 WE'LL COVER YOUR DUTIES HERE. 375 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,565 YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY OFF. 376 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,101 - OH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 377 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,368 YOU SHOULD DO THAT AND YOU SHOULD, UM... 378 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,636 GET A MASSAGE. 379 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,405 I HAVE A GIFT CERTIFICATE ACTUALLY. 380 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,607 MY MOM GAVE IT TO ME... FOR YOU. 381 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,077 - OH, MY GOD. THAT'S SO NICE. 382 00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:06,579 - OKAY. WELL, THANKS. 383 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,015 - THANK YOU. 384 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,117 AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR DISCRETION. 385 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,351 - YOU GOT IT. 386 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,953 - IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU, GEORGE. 387 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,922 - YEP. - YES. 388 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,393 - WELCOME, EVERYONE. 389 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,230 SEBASTIAN MAY HAVE BEEN LI'L, 390 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,265 BUT HIS IMPACT ON THIS TOWN 391 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,368 AND THE PARKS DEPARTMENT WAS ANYTHING BUT LI'L. 392 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,071 I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE HIS OWNERS 393 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,639 MICHAEL AND ELIZABETH STONE. 394 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,375 AND TWO OF HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS. 395 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,177 - CUE MUSIC AND LIGHTS, ANNNNND.... 396 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,446 GO LADYBUG, GO COCONUT. 397 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,449 [majestic music] 398 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,551 * 399 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,987 COCONUT AND LADYBUG BOTH IN POSITION. 400 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,023 - NOT ONLY WAS COCONUT A FRIEND, 401 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,358 BUT SHE WAS ALSO A LOVER. 402 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,227 OUR DEEPEST SYMPATHY IS WITH YOU. 403 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,929 - COCONUT JUST TOOK A DUMP ON THE STAGE. 404 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,430 WE GOTTA CLEAN THAT UP. CODE RED. 405 00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:58,999 COCONUT JUST TOOK A DUMP ONSTAGE. 406 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,200 [cheers and applause] 407 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,601 HEY, LESLIE. 408 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,003 THE MAINTENANCE GUY BAILED ON US. 409 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,237 NO ONE KNOWS WHERE HE IS. 410 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:05,438 HE HAD THE FUEL FOR THE ETERNAL FLAME. 411 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,040 - NO WAY. THAT GUY LEFT? 412 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,109 WHAT A--OKAY. START THE VIDEO PRESENTATION. 413 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,078 I'LL DEAL WITH IT. - ALL RIGHT. 414 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,279 - JERRY, I NEED YOU TO GO GET SOME PROPANE. 415 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,014 - NO, WHAT ABOUT MY POEM? 416 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,348 - NO ONE WANTS YOU TO READ A POEM, OKAY, JERRY? 417 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,683 WHAT EVERYONE WANTS-- 418 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,152 WHAT LI'L SEBASTIAN WANTS-- 419 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,720 IS FOR YOU TO GET PROPANE. 420 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,455 - FINE. 421 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,491 I'LL DO IT FOR LI'L SEBASTIAN. 422 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,725 - [sighs] 423 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,295 - NOW WE HAVE A SPECIAL PRESENTATION, 424 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:31,131 COURTESY OF THE FOLKS AT ENTERTAINMENT 7WENTY. 425 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,266 - HOPE YOU BROUGHT A CHANGE OF CLOTHES. 426 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:37,204 'CAUSE YOUR EYES ARE ABOUT TO PISS TEARS. 427 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,605 - YOU NASTY. 428 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,608 [sad piano music] 429 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:45,545 * 430 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,148 - WHO ARE WE? 431 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,749 WHERE ARE WE GOING... 432 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,052 IN LIFE? 433 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:56,089 WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL OF THIS? 434 00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,058 THESE ARE QUESTIONS LI'L SEBASTIAN 435 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,292 NEVER HAD TO ANSWER 436 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,061 BECAUSE HE WAS A HORSE. 437 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:06,199 INSTEAD, HE JUST BROUGHT US JOY AND HAPPINESS. 438 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,534 AND ISN'T THAT THE POINT? 439 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,136 - YOU GOTTA JOIN THE COMPANY. 440 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,637 I'M THE BANK, BUT YOU'RE THE MONEY. 441 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,340 - I KNOW, J, BUT IT'D BE A BIG LEAP. 442 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,142 - THEN I WILL TAKE THAT LEAP WITH YOU. 443 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,509 I'M THELMA, YOU'RE LOUISE. 444 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,246 YOU CAN'T DIE FULL OF REGRET. 445 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,413 WHY DON'T YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE 446 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,049 LIKE THAT COW FROM THE VIDEO? 447 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,483 - HE WAS A HORSE. - YEAH. 448 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,185 BECAUSE HE FOLLOWED HIS DREAMS. 449 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:29,256 - THERE WAS NO OBSTACLE TOO LARGE... 450 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,192 NO MOUNTAIN TOO HIGH... 451 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,127 NO VALLEY TOO LOW. 452 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:38,198 LI'L SEBASTIAN HAD A LONG LIFE FILLED WITH WONDER. 453 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:42,202 GOOD NIGHT, LI'L SEBASTIAN... FOREVER. 454 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,737 [wild cheers and applause] 455 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,673 [whistles] 456 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,608 - WE'D LIKE TO ENCOURAGE EVERYONE 457 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,378 TO BUY OUR MERCHANDISE. 458 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,580 ALL THE PROCEEDS WILL GO 459 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,116 TOWARDS LI'L SEBASTIAN'S FAVORITE CHARITY, 460 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,185 THE AFGHAN INSTITUTE OF LEARNING. 461 00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:01,554 NEXT, WE HAVE A SPECIAL MUSICAL TRIBUTE 462 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,123 BY MR. ANDY DWYER. 463 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,824 [cheers and applause] 464 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,160 - WHAT'S 5,000 TIMES BETTER THAN A CANDLE IN THE WIND? 465 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,329 THIS SONG IS CALLED 466 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,832 5,000 CANDLES IN THE WIND. 467 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,102 [wistful rock music] 468 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,205 * UP IN HORSEY HEAVEN 469 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:22,109 * HERE'S THE THING 470 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:29,149 * YOU TRADE YOUR LEGS FOR ANGEL'S WINGS * 471 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,851 * AND ONCE WE'VE ALL SAID 472 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:35,222 * GOODBYE 473 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,257 * YOU TAKE A RUNNING LEAP 474 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:41,494 * AND YOU LEARN TO FLY 475 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:44,831 * BYE BYE 476 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:48,335 * LI'L SEBASTIAN 477 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:54,541 * I MISS YOU IN THE SADDEST FASHION * 478 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,244 * BYE BYE 479 00:17:57,277 --> 00:18:00,880 * LI'L SEBASTIAN 480 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:04,817 * YOU'RE 5,000 CANDLES IN THE WIND * 481 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:09,389 [cheers and applause] 482 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:13,160 - HEY, WHY IS PERD HAPLEY UNVEILING THE MEMORIAL STONE? 483 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,295 - BECAUSE JOE FROM SEWAGE HAD TO HAND OUT THE ARMBANDS, 484 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,629 AND PERT HAD TO FILL IN FOR MORTENSON, 485 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,231 AND MORTENSON HAD TO FILL IN FOR HOWSER. 486 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,832 - OKAY, WELL, WHY COULDN'T DONNA DO IT? 487 00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,568 - BECAUSE DONNA'S READING JERRY'S ITALIAN POEM. 488 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:26,373 - [speaking Italian with strong American accent] 489 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,175 - THIS IS SORT OF A MESS. 490 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,343 - NO, IT'S OKAY, WE'RE-- - WHAT THE HELL, LESLIE? 491 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:33,280 I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO LAY THE CEREMONIAL WREATH. 492 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,215 WHY IS COUNCILMAN HOWSER DOING IT? 493 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:38,185 BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING... 494 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,452 SOMETHING BETTER. 495 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:42,322 YOU ARE LIGHTING THE MEMORIAL FLAME, 496 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,524 WHICH IS THE GREATEST HONOR OF ALL. 497 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,293 - OH, MY GOD. RON, CONGRATULATIONS. 498 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,261 - I SAVED IT FOR YOU, RON. 499 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,197 - WHO CAUGHT YOU GUYS? 500 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,898 - A VERY NOSY MAINTENANCE WORKER, 501 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,466 AND WE TALKED TO HIM, AND NOW WE'RE ALL FRIENDS, 502 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,634 AND HE'S NOT GONNA TELL ON US. 503 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,303 - IT'S TOTALLY FINE. 504 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,305 - I THINK IF YOU WOULD KNOW ONE THING ABOUT ME, 505 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,207 IT WOULD BE THAT I PREFER LAYING WREATHS 506 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,909 TO LIGHTING TORCHES. 507 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,645 I HAVE CRIED TWICE IN MY LIFE. 508 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,514 ONCE WHEN I WAS SEVEN, 509 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,316 AND I WAS HIT BY A SCHOOL BUS. 510 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:12,319 AND THEN AGAIN WHEN I HEARD 511 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,454 THAT LI'L SEBASTIAN HAD PASSED. 512 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,623 HIS MEMORY WILL LIVE ON... 513 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,725 HUP, AND... 514 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,693 AS TODAY WE LIGHT A FIRE 515 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,495 THAT WILL BURN ON FOR ETERNITY. 516 00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,397 [shouts drum major call] 517 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,633 - OKAY, DEEP BREATH. I THINK WE GOT THROUGH IT. 518 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,468 - THANK GOD. - YEAH. 519 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,470 - HEY, JERRY, YOU PUT PROPANE IN THE ETERNAL FLAME, RIGHT? 520 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,205 - NO, THEY WERE OUT. 521 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,773 SO I JUST GOT A BIG THING OF LIGHTER FLUID. 522 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,242 IT'S KIND OF THE SAME THING. 523 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,476 [crowd gasping] 524 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,677 - OH! 525 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,547 HUH, HO! WE PLANNED THAT! 526 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,948 WOW, WOW! 527 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,350 - OHHHH! 528 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,286 - WE PLANNED THAT. - YAY! 529 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,420 - WOW. 530 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,859 - GEEZ, RON, I AM VERY SORRY. 531 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,427 I-- 532 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,463 I GUESS I PUT TOO MUCH FUEL IN THE TORCH. 533 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:57,897 - OH, I DON'T KNOW, JERRY. 534 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,566 I THINK YOU'RE BEING HARD ON YOURSELF. 535 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,268 - RON, ARE YOU MAD AT ME? 536 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,902 'CAUSE WITHOUT EYEBROWS, I CAN'T REALLY TELL. 537 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:06,439 - RON SWANSON LOVES HIS FACIAL HAIR. 538 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,441 AND WE BURNED IT OFF. 539 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,343 THIS THING THAT WE'RE DOING, 540 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,812 IT'S UNSUSTAINABLE. - WHAT, YOU WANT TO BREAK UP? 541 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,481 - WHAT? NO. I LIKE YOU. 542 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,316 - WELL, THEN-- YOU WANT TO TELL CHRIS. 543 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,884 - WHAT? NO. I LIKE MY JOB. 544 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,419 - WELL, THEN, WHAT DO WE DO? 545 00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,254 - OKAY, OPERATION SHUTDOWN. 546 00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:23,523 NO MORE SECRET HAND-HOLDING. 547 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,425 NO MORE SMOOCHING IN ANN'S OFFICE. 548 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,893 IN FACT, WHEN WE'RE AT WORK, 549 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,561 WE JUST SHOULDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER AT ALL. 550 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:29,929 - OKAY, WELL, THAT'S GONNA BE REALLY HARD, 551 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,464 AND WE COULD STILL GET FIRED. 552 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,833 - I KNOW, BUT IT'S WORTH THE RISK 553 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,402 IF I CAN BE WITH YOU. 554 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,304 - ALL RIGHT. 555 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,738 WELL, THEN, I'M IN. 556 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,307 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 557 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,874 - I'M SORRY. NO, IT'S FORCE OF HABIT. 558 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,276 - SO WHAT DO I DO, HUH? 559 00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,977 DO I STAY HERE OR ROLL THE DICE 560 00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,646 WITH JEAN-RALPHIO? 561 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:47,847 - I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. 562 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,048 GO WITH YOUR GUT. 563 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,450 - MY GUT'S REALLY SMALL. 564 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,018 IT'S EASILY IRRITATED. 565 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,354 I NEED SOMEONE TO GUIDE ME. 566 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:55,988 - YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN GOVERNMENT WORK, 567 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:59,759 AND YOU SLOW EVERYTHING DOWN WITH YOUR SELFISH ATTITUDE. 568 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,994 I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO STICK AROUND, TOMMY. 569 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,732 IT'LL BE DAMN HARD TO REPLACE YOU. 570 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:06,999 BUT I'LL SUPPORT YOU EITHER WAY. 571 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,668 - TWO OF MY LOVERS IN ONE PLACE. 572 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:11,003 WHAT A COINCIDENCE. 573 00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,339 - TAMMY. 574 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,740 - HELLO, RON. 575 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,708 OOP, WHAT HAPPENED HERE? 576 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,677 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, 577 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,979 DOES THE CARPET MATCH THE FACE? 578 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,914 - IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE, TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE. 579 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,683 AN HOUR AGO, A GIANT FIREBALL 580 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,586 CONSUMED MY ENTIRE FACE. 581 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,954 AND IT WAS FAR PREFERABLE 582 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,656 TO SPENDING ANOTHER SECOND WITH YOU. 583 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:30,823 - HM. 584 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,626 TELL THAT TO YOUR PANTS TENT. 585 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,628 - IT'S JUST THE WAY I'M STANDING. 586 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:41,534 GO BACK TO THE LIBRARY, WHERE YOU BELONG. 587 00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:43,536 - HEY, GLENN. WANNA DANCE? 588 00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:45,538 - NO, I'M OKAY. 589 00:21:45,572 --> 00:21:46,739 - JUST ONE DANCE? 590 00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,508 - NO. - WITH MOMMY? 591 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,643 - * YOU SEE I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE DESERT * 592 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,545 * ON A HORSE WITH NO NAME * 593 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:54,647 - YOU KNOW, TENDONITIS IS, UH, 594 00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:56,949 USUALLY CAUSED BY OVERUSE. 595 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,985 HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING OUT MORE THAN USUAL? 596 00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:01,688 - I DID DO 10,000 PUSH-UPS LAST WEEK. 597 00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,122 - OH, REALLY. 598 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:06,593 THAT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. 599 00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:08,628 - YOU NEED TO RELAX. YOU'RE IN GREAT SHAPE. 600 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,096 - FOR A 44-YEAR-OLD. 601 00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:13,633 - YEAH. THAT'S HOW OLD YOU ARE, MAN. 602 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,535 - YOU'RE RIGHT. I'VE BEEN OVERREACTING. 603 00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:17,670 I DON'T LIKE THINKING ABOUT DEATH. 604 00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:20,640 DEATH IS THE OPPOSITE OF... 605 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:23,643 - BEING ALIVE? 606 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,778 - EXACTLY. LOOK AT US. 607 00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:27,947 TALKING LIKE FRIENDS. 608 00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,716 - YEAH. 609 00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,384 WHAT THE HELL. FRIENDS. 610 00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:32,852 - ANN PERKINS. 611 00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:36,155 - CHRIS TRAEGER. 612 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,392 - WHAT'S THE POINT IN DOING 10,000 PUSH-UPS 613 00:22:39,426 --> 00:22:41,160 IF YOU'RE GONNA DO THEM ALONE? 614 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,563 I'D MUCH RATHER DO 5,000 PUSH-UPS 615 00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,765 WITH A WONDERFUL WOMAN. 616 00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:48,668 SITTING ON MY BACK TO INCREASE MY RESISTANCE. 617 00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:49,836 - COPY OF OUR NEW HIT SINGLE, 618 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,538 5,000 CANDLES IN THE WIND, 619 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:55,508 AND THE NEW FULL-LENGTH CD, THE AWESOME ALBUM. 620 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,510 - 18 BUCKS EACH, 40 FOR THE SET. 621 00:22:57,544 --> 00:22:59,646 - THAT DOESN'T ADD UP. 622 00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:00,980 - YOU DON'T ADD UP. 623 00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:04,917 - OKAY. 624 00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:07,053 - HONEY, YOU ARE AWESOME AT THIS. 625 00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:09,822 - THANKS. 626 00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:11,624 - APRIL, I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING, 627 00:23:11,658 --> 00:23:13,460 AND IT'S THE BIGGEST THING I'VE EVER ASKED ANYBODY 628 00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:14,894 IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 629 00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,195 - HONEY, WE'RE ALREADY MARRIED. 630 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,965 - NO, THIS IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT. 631 00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:21,434 APRIL LUDGATE... 632 00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:23,470 WOULD YOU BE MY MANAGER? 633 00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,772 - SERIOUSLY? 634 00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:26,906 OKAY. 635 00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:28,207 YEAH. 636 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:33,813 - * IF YOU CANNOT RIDE A GHOST * 637 00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:36,182 * BYE-BYE 638 00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:40,587 * LI'L SEBASTIAN 639 00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:43,456 - EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU LESLIE KNOPE? 640 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,624 - YES. 641 00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:45,825 - MY NAME IS WILLIAM BARNES. 642 00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,159 DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE TO TALK? 643 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:48,595 - SURE. 644 00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:50,563 - WE REALLY ENJOYED THE SERVICE. 645 00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:53,232 THAT FIREBALL WAS TRULY AMAZING. 646 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:54,901 - I'M GLAD. 'CAUSE IT WAS PLANNED. 647 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,102 - AND YOU WERE ALSO RESPONSIBLE 648 00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:57,637 FOR THE HARVEST FESTIVAL, CORRECT? 649 00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,506 - WELL, A LOT OF PEOPLE CONTRIBUTED TO THAT. 650 00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:02,008 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MODEST. WE KNOW IT WAS YOU. 651 00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:03,876 YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB. 652 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:05,244 - THANK YOU. 653 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:07,113 - WE ARE PART OF A GROUP THAT TRIES TO IDENTIFY 654 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:08,981 POTENTIAL CANDIDATES FOR POLITICAL OFFICE 655 00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:10,917 HERE IN TOWN... 656 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:15,221 AND WE THINK THAT YOU MIGHT FIT THE BILL. 657 00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:16,856 - OH. 658 00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,190 WOW. 659 00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:20,960 WHICH OFFICE IN PARTICULAR? 660 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:22,562 - WELL, THERE ARE A COUPLE CITY COUNCIL SEATS 661 00:24:22,595 --> 00:24:23,896 WE THINK ARE VULNERABLE. 662 00:24:23,930 --> 00:24:25,197 - MM-HMM. 663 00:24:25,231 --> 00:24:27,166 - AND THE MAYOR'S TERM IS UP NEXT YEAR. 664 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:28,601 - UH--UM--HUH. 665 00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:30,269 - ALL WE NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW IS 666 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:33,005 ARE YOU THEORETICALLY INTERESTED IN RUNNING FOR OFFICE? 667 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:34,741 - ABSOTOOTLY, I AM. 668 00:24:34,774 --> 00:24:36,876 VERY SORRY THAT I JUST USED THAT WORD. 669 00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:38,511 BUT YES. 670 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:40,246 I JUST... 671 00:24:40,279 --> 00:24:43,215 I'VE DREAMED ABOUT THIS MOMENT FOR A LONG TIME. 672 00:24:43,249 --> 00:24:45,852 - GUESS I'LL BE HEADING HOME. 673 00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:48,588 - CATCHING THE NUMBER 12 BUS TO SATAN'S BUTTHOLE? 674 00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:51,123 - ACTUALLY, I PREFER THE NUMBER 69 TRAIN... 675 00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,825 TO HUMPSVILLE STATION. 676 00:24:52,859 --> 00:24:56,262 - RED ALERT, SWANSON. YOUR EX-WIFE IS BACK. 677 00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:57,964 - NO KIDDING, DONNA. 678 00:24:57,997 --> 00:25:03,202 - NOT HER. THE OTHER EX-WIFE. 679 00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:08,240 - TAMMY ONE. - SHE'S IN YOUR OFFICE. 680 00:25:08,274 --> 00:25:09,776 - [gasps] 681 00:25:09,809 --> 00:25:13,179 OH, [bleep]. 682 00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:14,881 - WOULD I HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB? 683 00:25:14,914 --> 00:25:16,616 - LOOK, THAT'S A LONG WAY OFF. 684 00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,017 - OF COURSE. - BUT LISTEN. 685 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:20,953 WHEN YOU RUN, EVEN IN A LOCAL ELECTION, 686 00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,922 YOUR LIFE BECOMES AN OPEN BOOK. 687 00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:25,191 SO IF YOU SO MUCH AS STIFF A WAITER ON HIS TIP 688 00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:27,860 OR USE A GOVERNMENT STAMP FOR PERSONAL MAIL, 689 00:25:27,894 --> 00:25:29,562 IT WILL COME OUT. 690 00:25:29,596 --> 00:25:30,863 SO BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, 691 00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:32,599 I NEED YOU TO TELL ME-- 692 00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,601 IS THERE A SCANDAL OUT THERE? 693 00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:37,970 IS THERE ANYTHING AT ALL YOU NEED TO TELL US 694 00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:41,808 ABOUT YOUR LIFE? 695 00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:45,144 - NOPE. 696 00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:46,813 - ALL RIGHT. 697 00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:51,818 WELL, WE'LL BE IN TOUCH. 698 00:25:51,851 --> 00:25:54,587 - * NO, NO 699 00:25:54,621 --> 00:25:59,726 * YEAH, HE BURNED IN SO LITTLE TIME * 700 00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:02,895 * AND THINGS I REALLY WANT TO DO * 701 00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:08,735 - YEAH, I THINK WE CAN DO THAT FOR A MILLION. 702 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:10,670 OKAY, WE'LL TALK SOON. 703 00:26:10,703 --> 00:26:12,038 THERE WAS NO ONE ON THE OTHER END 704 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:14,173 OF THAT PHONE CALL, BUT SOON THERE WILL BE. 705 00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:16,142 WELCOME TO THE DREAMATORIUM, 706 00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:19,111 A.K.A. THE HEADQUARTERS OF ENTERTAINMENT 7WENTY. 707 00:26:19,145 --> 00:26:20,747 IT'S ONLY TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM CITY HALL, 708 00:26:20,780 --> 00:26:22,348 BUT IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD OVER HERE. 709 00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:25,017 WE GOT A POOL TABLE, A PING-PONG TABLE, 710 00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:26,185 A LOUNGE AREA, 711 00:26:26,218 --> 00:26:27,854 A COUCH WITH A CEILING ON IT, 712 00:26:27,887 --> 00:26:30,156 IN-HOUSE DJ DJ BLUNT. 713 00:26:30,189 --> 00:26:31,390 AND BEST OF ALL, 714 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,926 FORMER NBA SUPERSTAR DETLEF SCHREMPF 715 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,094 IS ON RETAINER. 716 00:26:35,127 --> 00:26:36,796 WHAT'S UP, DETLEF? 717 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,197 HEY, JEAN-RALPHIO! 718 00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:39,732 WHO'S SITTING AT MY CLEAR, PURPLE DESK? 719 00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:45,237 - WHAT? - WHO'S THIS PERSON? 720 00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:47,039 - OH, YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS LITTLE SWEETIE RIGHT HERE? 721 00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:48,274 - YEAH. 722 00:26:48,307 --> 00:26:50,242 - THAT IS OUR NEW ASSISTANT TESSA. 723 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:52,912 I SAW HER SWEATIN' REAL SEXY ON THE STAIRMASTER AT BALLY'S. 724 00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,647 - I NEED PETTY CASH. 725 00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:56,315 MY iPHONE COVER'S GROSS AND I NEED TO GET A NEW ONE. 726 00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:57,850 - YEAH, GET IT TO MATCH YOUR PERSONALITY. 727 00:26:57,884 --> 00:26:59,919 PETTY CASH, MONEY BOWL. GO DIVING. 728 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,854 - GROSS. 729 00:27:01,888 --> 00:27:03,823 - WHY DO WE KEEP OUR PETTY CASH IN A CLEAR, PLASTIC TOILET BOWL? 730 00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:04,891 - I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE 'CAUSE WE'RE... 731 00:27:04,924 --> 00:27:09,028 both: * FLUSH WITH CASH 732 00:27:09,061 --> 00:27:10,296 - SO TOM, 733 00:27:10,329 --> 00:27:11,898 WHAT DOES THIS BUSINESS DO, AGAIN? 734 00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:13,132 - IT'S A MULTIMEDIA 735 00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:15,167 ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTION CONGLOMERATE. 736 00:27:15,201 --> 00:27:16,703 - I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 737 00:27:16,736 --> 00:27:17,937 YOU HAVE A LOT OF OVERHEAD HERE. 738 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,872 EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SCALING BACK A BIT 739 00:27:19,906 --> 00:27:21,841 AND FOCUSING ON BUILDING A CLIENT BASE? 740 00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:23,710 - THANKS A LOT, FORBES MAGAZINE. 741 00:27:23,743 --> 00:27:26,045 BUT WE DIDN'T HIRE YOU TO GIVE US BUSINESS ADVICE. 742 00:27:26,078 --> 00:27:27,847 WE HIRED YOU TO LOOK PRETTY AND SHOOT BASKETS. 743 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,415 SO WHY DON'T YOU HEAD OVER THERE AND DO YOUR THING? 744 00:27:29,448 --> 00:27:31,450 WE WANT PEOPLE TO SEE YOU WHEN THE COME IN, DETLEF. 745 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,753 - WE MAY NOT HAVE ANY CLIENTS YET, 746 00:27:33,786 --> 00:27:36,222 BUT WE'RE ABOUT TO BLOW UP. 747 00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:38,858 - FIRST YOU SET UP THE POND, THEN YOU REEL IN THE FISH. 748 00:27:38,891 --> 00:27:40,092 - BIG D! HIT ME! 749 00:27:40,126 --> 00:27:43,362 UH-OH, UH-OH, UH-OH, UH-OH. COME ON! 750 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:45,231 - WE'RE LIVING THE DREAM.