1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:03,771 - OKAY, JERRY, WHAT HAVE YOU CHOSEN 2 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,273 TO PUT IN THE TIME CAPSULE? 3 00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:07,408 - THESE ARE MY MOTHER'S DIARIES. 4 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:08,376 - WOW. 5 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,078 - YEAH, SHE LIVED IN PAWNEE ALL OF HER LIFE 6 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,812 AND RECORDED EVERYTHING SHE EVER DID. 7 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,147 YEAH, SO IT'S, YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE 8 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,782 A LIVING DOCUMENT ABOUT THE TOWN. 9 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:15,716 - HMM. 10 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:18,152 A DISAPPOINTINGLY GOOD IDEA FROM JERRY. 11 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,587 - BETTER THAN GOOD, JERRY. PERFECT. 12 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,189 - GIVE ME THAT. 13 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,624 "JANUARY 18, 1964. 14 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,727 "JERROLD STARRED IN HIS SCHOOL PRODUCTION OF PETER PAN. 15 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,729 HE WAS A BEAUTIFUL TINKER BELL." 16 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,398 [laughter] 17 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,200 - IT WAS AN ALL-BOYS SCHOOL. 18 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,734 - [speaking Spanish] 19 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,736 - [speaking Spanish] 20 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,207 - [laughs] JERRY! 21 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,308 - HEY, LESLIE, I HAVE AN IDEA. 22 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,176 WHY DON'T WE PUT EDUARDO IN THERE 23 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:45,646 AND SEAL THE TOP SO THAT HE SUFFOCATES AND DIES? 24 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,082 - OKAY, TOM, YOU'RE UP. 25 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:50,384 - FOR MY ITEM, I CHOSE A PICTURE 26 00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,520 OF MY EX-GIRLFRIEND LUCY 27 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,422 WITH A MUSTACHE DRAWN ON HER FACE 28 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,657 AND STINK LINES COMING OFF HER, 'CAUSE SHE STINKS. 29 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,427 SHE BROKE UP WITH ME. DIDN'T REALLY TELL ME WHY. 30 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,728 LUCKILY, WHEN YOU'RE THE GUY, 31 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,363 YOU CAN JUST TELL PEOPLE SHE'S CRAZY. 32 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,732 "HEY, TOM, I HEARD YOU AND LUCY BROKE UP." 33 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,368 "YEAH, MAN. TURNS OUT SHE'S CRAZY." 34 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,703 THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO ON ENTOURAGE. 35 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,139 - RON? 36 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,506 - I AM SUBMITTING THIS MENU 37 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,109 FROM A PAWNEE INSTITUTION, JJ'S DINER, 38 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,411 HOME OF THE WORLD'S BEST BREAKFAST DISH, 39 00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:20,114 THE FOUR HORSE MEALS OF THE EGG-PORK-ALYPSE. 40 00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:21,715 WENDY LOVES IT TOO. 41 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,418 - AND I AM SUBMITTING THIS. 42 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,521 A BRIEF HISTORY OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED 43 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:28,789 SINCE PAWNEE WAS FOUNDED. 44 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,791 NOT LIKE YOU GET EXTRA CREDIT FOR THIS, 45 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,260 BUT I DID TYPE IT FROM MEMORY. 46 00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,794 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER COMPILED, 47 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,464 IT INCLUDES A COMPLETE LIST 48 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,832 OF EVERY OFFICIAL TOWN SLOGAN WE'VE EVER HAD. 49 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,168 - OH, MY GOD, LESLIE. - I KNOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 50 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,802 - THAT'S CRAZY. - ISN'T IT? 51 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,272 "PAWNEE: THE PARIS OF AMERICA. 52 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:47,175 "PAWNEE: THE AKRON OF SOUTHWEST INDIANA. 53 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,677 PAWNEE: WELCOME, GERMAN SOLDIERS." 54 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,846 AFTER THE NAZIS TOOK FRANCE, OUR MAYOR KIND OF PANICKED. 55 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,383 "PAWNEE: THE FACTORY FIRE CAPITAL OF AMERICA. 56 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,851 "PAWNEE: WELCOME, VIETNAMESE SOLDIERS. 57 00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,221 PAWNEE: ENGAGE WITH ZORP." 58 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,755 FOR A BRIEF TIME IN THE '70s, 59 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,824 OUR TOWN WAS TAKEN OVER BY A CULT. 60 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:06,427 "PAWNEE: ZORP IS DEAD. LONG LIVE ZORP. 61 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,529 "PAWNEE: IT'S SAFE TO BE HERE NOW. 62 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,199 PAWNEE: BIRTHPLACE OF JULIA ROBERTS." 63 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,501 THAT WAS A LIE, SHE SUED, AND SO WE HAD TO CHANGE IT. 64 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,603 "PAWNEE: HOME OF THE WORLD-FAMOUS 65 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,171 "JULIA ROBERTS LAWSUIT. 66 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,673 PAWNEE: WELCOME, TALIBAN SOLDIERS." 67 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,775 AND FINALLY, OUR CURRENT SLOGAN: 68 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:25,346 "PAWNEE: FIRST IN FRIENDSHIP, FOURTH IN OBESITY." 69 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,349 [triumphant music] 70 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:35,889 * 71 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,801 - YES, PAWNEE HAS HAD ITS SET OF PROBLEMS, 72 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,639 BUT THIS TIME CAPSULE IS OUR WAY OF SAYING 73 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,808 THAT PAWNEE IS GONNA BE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME... 74 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,776 CAPSULE. 75 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,378 AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT. 76 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,846 - OH, I'M ACTUALLY GONNA QUOTE YOU ON ALL OF THIS, 77 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,414 'CAUSE IT'S A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE. 78 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,682 - I THOUGHT OF A GREAT HEADLINE. - GREAT. 79 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,385 - IT'S TIME TO ENCAPSULATE THE FUTURE. 80 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,686 - GOOD ONE. - SUB HEADLINE: 81 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,455 THE PARKS DEPARTMENT CUTS THE CRAPSULE, 82 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:08,722 BURIES THE TIME CAPSULE. 83 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,291 - I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW WITH THE PHOTOGRAPHER. 84 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,825 - OKAY. 85 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,694 - LESLIE, THIS GUY'S HERE. 86 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,429 - HI. CAN I HELP YOU? 87 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,830 - I'M KELLY LARSON. 88 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,399 I READ ONLINE ABOUT YOUR TIME CAPSULE, 89 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:19,733 AND I'M HERE TO MAKE A SUGGESTION. 90 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,502 - OH, I'M SORRY. WE'RE NOT TAKING SUGGES-- 91 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,703 - THE TWILIGHT BOOKS. 92 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,772 IT'S A BEAUTIFULLY-TOLD SAGA OF VAMPIRES, 93 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,274 WEREWOLVES, AND ROMANCE. 94 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,908 - AH, YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT'S BEEN EMAILING ME 95 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,743 ABOUT TWILIGHT. 96 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,679 I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE YOUNGER... 97 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,013 AND A GIRL. 98 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,848 - WELL, I'M NOT. I'M OLDER AND A BOY. 99 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,485 BUT I FEEL VERY STRONGLY THAT THESE SHOULD BE INCLUDED. 100 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,587 CAN I TELL YOU WHY? 101 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,388 - SURE, KELLY. HAVE A SEAT. 102 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,022 - AWESOME. - AND PLEAD YOUR CASE. 103 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,958 - THANKS. OKAY, CHRISTMAS EVE, 1973. 104 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,927 AUTHOR STEPHENIE MEYER, NEE MORGAN, 105 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,596 WAS BORN IN HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT. 106 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,699 - OH, YOU'RE GOING ALL THE WAY BACK TO HER BIRTH. OKAY. 107 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,734 - SO BASICALLY, ANN KISSED ME 108 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,604 AND THEN APRIL KISSED ME, AND I TOLD APRIL, 109 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,739 BECAUSE OF HONESTY IS IMPORTANT. 110 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,574 - THAT'S SO TRUE. 111 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:01,942 - BUT NOW SHE'S GONE AND GOTTEN HERSELF 112 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,844 A VENEZUELAN BOYFRIEND WHO'S, LIKE, 113 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,746 THE HANDSOMEST DUDE I'VE EVER SEEN. 114 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,615 PRESENT COMPANY EXCLUDED. 115 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:08,982 - OH, THANK YOU. 116 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,918 - [chuckles] UH, I WAS TALKING ABOUT ME. 117 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,820 - HEY. 118 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:13,754 - ANN PERKINS! 119 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,823 ANDY JUST GAVE ME A PHENOMENAL SHOESHINE 120 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,426 AND I DID NOT KNOW THAT YOU TWO ONCE LIVED TOGETHER. 121 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,294 - YES. YES, WE DID. 122 00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:22,996 THANK YOU FOR CATCHING HIM UP ON OUR HISTORY. 123 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,865 - ANDY, THAT WAS AN AMAZING SHOESHINE. 124 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:29,370 I CAN LITERALLY SEE MY FACE IN MY SHOES. 125 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,738 SEE YOU LATER! 126 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,639 - HE DIDN'T-- HE DIDN'T PAY ME. 127 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,407 - WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH CHRIS? 128 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:34,608 - HE JUST SAT DOWN. 129 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:35,809 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? HE'S MY BOSS. 130 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,678 - NO, HE'S NOT. - HE ISN'T? 131 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,647 GOD DANG IT. 132 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,782 I CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHO MY BOSS IS. 133 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,351 - ANDY, I LIKE THIS GUY. 134 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:46,320 PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING WEIRD, I BEG YOU. 135 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,989 I JUST STARTED DATING CHRIS, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW, 136 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,791 BUT ANDY'S GONNA SCREW IT UP. 137 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,726 ANDY SCREWS EVERYTHING UP. 138 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,662 WHEN WE WERE DATING, I BOUGHT HIM A FISH 139 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,063 AND I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO IT, 140 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:59,833 BUT SOMEHOW THAT FISH ENDED UP DEAD IN A COWBOY BOOT. 141 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,635 - AND COMBINED, THEY HAVE SOLD MORE THAN 142 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,804 100 MILLION COPIES WORLDWIDE. 143 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,973 NOW, HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE TWILIGHT MOVIES? 144 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,508 - NO, I HAVE NOT. 145 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,577 - WELL, LET ME DESCRIBE THEM TO YOU SHOT-FOR-SHOT. 146 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,712 MOVIE NUMBER ONE. TWILIGHT. 147 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,814 WE SLOWLY PAN UP OVER A MOSSY LOG 148 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,883 TO SEE A DEER DRINKING CRYSTAL-CLEAR WATER. 149 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,386 - OKAY, KELLY, THIS TIME CAPSULE 150 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,522 ISN'T JUST A BARREL FULL OF STUFF THAT PEOPLE LIKE. 151 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:24,692 IT'S ABOUT LIFE IN PAWNEE AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME, 152 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,727 AND THERE IS NOTHING IN TWILIGHT 153 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,496 THAT IS SPECIFIC TO PAWNEE. 154 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,630 - I DISAGREE, OKAY? 155 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,065 THE TOWN OF FORKS, WASHINGTON IS EXACTLY LIKE PAWNEE, 156 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:35,603 EXCEPT FOR THE CLIMATE AND THE VAMPIRES. 157 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,970 - I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO SAY NO. 158 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,839 - I BEG YOU TO RECONSIDER. 159 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:39,973 - AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE. 160 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:43,010 - THEN I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS. 161 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:49,917 - HE BROUGHT HANDCUFFS WITH HIM. 162 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,619 THIS WHOLE THING WAS PLANNED. 163 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,020 - I THINK IT'S KIND OF COOL. 164 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,588 - IT'S NOT COOL. 165 00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,490 IT'S TRESPASSING, AND THAT IS BREAKING THE RULES. 166 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,459 COOL PEOPLE MAKE THE RULES. THEY DON'T BREAK THE RULES. 167 00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,693 AND IF THOSE KIDS WANT YOU TO BREAK THE RULES, 168 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:00,961 THEN THEY AREN'T REALLY YOUR FRIENDS. 169 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,796 - WHOA, WHO ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT? 170 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,064 - I DON'T KNOW. I'M SORRY. I'M JUST ANNOYED. 171 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,733 BUT WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, 172 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,001 YOUR FRIEND ORRIN WITH THE LONG BLACK NAILS AND THE CLOAK? 173 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,002 HE CONCERNS ME. 174 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,638 - HE'S A GENIUS. 175 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,706 - I'LL CARE OF THIS TRESPASSER. 176 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,708 GIVE ME 30 SECONDS. 177 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:15,943 - I'M JUST GONNA CALL SECURITY. 178 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,679 - GUYS, CAN WE PUSH THE MEETING AN HOUR? 179 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,813 WHAT'S GOING ON? 180 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,082 - SOME GUY HANDCUFFED HIMSELF TO A PIPE IN MY OFFICE 181 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,884 BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T PUT A COPY OF TWILIGHT 182 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:24,818 IN THE TIME CAPSULE. 183 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,087 - DAMN IT. AGAIN? 184 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,691 - YOU LOOK SAD. 185 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:31,859 - YOU LOOK LIKE A WEIRD GOON 186 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,461 WHO'S OBSESSED WITH A KID'S BOOK. 187 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:34,662 - IT'S A GIRL, ISN'T IT? 188 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,196 I CAN TELL. 189 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,765 IT'S THE LOOK THAT MIKE HAD ON HIS FACE 190 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,800 WHEN BELLA TURNED HIM DOWN FOR THE DANCE. 191 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,201 - OH, YEAH? IS IT? 192 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,770 WHAT LOOK DID YOUR MOM HAVE ON HER FACE 193 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,738 WHEN SHE REALIZED HER SON WAS A COMPLETE FAILURE? 194 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,707 - OKAY, I'LL BE QUIET. 195 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,009 BUT I DO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT HEARTBREAK. 196 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,611 AND YOU KNOW WHO ELSE DOES? 197 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,146 - KENNETH "BABYFACE" EDMONDS? - NO. 198 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:56,650 A LITTLE LADY NAMED TWILIGHT AUTHOR STEPHENIE MEYER. 199 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,686 TRUST ME. 200 00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,920 - YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO HIM. 201 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,855 THOSE BOOKS ARE GOOD. 202 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,525 OH, I LOVE ANY BOOK ABOUT VAMPIRES, 203 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,960 WEREWOLVES, MONSTERS, ZOMBIES, 204 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:11,131 SORCERERS, BEASTIES, OR TIME-TRAVELING ROMANCES. 205 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,767 AND IF I HAD AN HOUR ALONE WITH ROBERT PATTINSON, 206 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,769 HE WOULD FORGET ALL ABOUT SKINNYLEGS MCGEE. 207 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:16,804 I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH. 208 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,672 - OKAY, BUDDY, TIME IS UP. 209 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:19,607 GIVE US THE KEYS. 210 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,875 - THEY'RE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE VERY FAR AWAY. 211 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,043 - THEN WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CUT YOU LOOSE. 212 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,645 - WHY? I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. 213 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,547 - YES, YOU ARE. YOU'RE TRESPASSING. 214 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,882 - WELL, THE FACT REMAINS THIS IS PERFECTLY LEGAL. 215 00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,718 - NO, IT'S NOT. YOU'RE TRESPASSING. 216 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,720 - LOOK, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO CAUSE ANY TROUBLE, 217 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,722 BUT I AM NOT GONNA LEAVE UNTIL YOU 218 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:35,889 PUT TWILIGHT IN THE TIME CAPSULE. 219 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,725 THIS MUSCLE-HEADED STORM TROOPER 220 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:38,892 DOESN'T SCARE ME. 221 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:41,028 - GO AHEAD, ARTIE. 222 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,730 - [screaming] NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! 223 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,799 PLEASE! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME! 224 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,200 I AM VERY SCARED OF YOU! 225 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,736 [screaming] - ALL RIGHT! 226 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,070 OKAY! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! 227 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,605 STOP. 228 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:52,740 IF HE WANTS TO STAY IN THERE, 229 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:53,841 I'LL LET HIM STAY IN THERE. 230 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,643 IN TWO HOURS, HE'S GONNA BE SO HUNGRY 231 00:07:55,676 --> 00:08:00,280 AND FREAKED OUT, HE'S GONNA BE BEGGING ME TO... 232 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,249 HE BROUGHT A PILLOW. 233 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,884 - HEY, LESLIE, I'M MAKING SOME SLEEPYTIME TEA. 234 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,819 YOU WANT ANY? - [sighs] 235 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,258 - HEY, DUDE, WAKE UP, MAN. 236 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,594 - OH, MORNING, TOM. 237 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,996 - TWILIGHT IS DOPE. 238 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,098 - I TOLD YOU. - I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN. 239 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,200 IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS PEERING INTO MY SOUL. 240 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,269 - SING IT, FRIEND. HERE. 241 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:25,138 BOOK TWO. TWILIGHT: NEW MOON. 242 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,540 GET CRACKING. 243 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:27,875 - THERE'S A SECOND BOOK? 244 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,177 - AND A THIRD AND A FOURTH. 245 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,180 - NO [bleep] WAY. 246 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,915 - IT'S FANTASTIC. - YEAH. 247 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,017 I WORKED REALLY HARD. I DID EVERY PAIR THAT I COULD. 248 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,787 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THESE. 249 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,922 I THINK THEY'RE GLOVES. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 250 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,156 THOSE ARE SPORTS SANDALS. 251 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,625 THEY'RE FOR ADVENTURE RACING. 252 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,860 THEY PERFECTLY CONTOUR TO THE HUMAN FOOT, 253 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,863 AND THE HUMAN FOOT IS THE ULTIMATE TECHNOLOGY. 254 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,632 - DUDE, THAT IS THE COOLEST SENTENCE 255 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,200 I'VE EVER HEARD SOMEBODY TALK. 256 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:56,069 - SO YOU LOVE APRIL, 257 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,204 AND SHE HAS A NEW BOYFRIEND, RIGHT? 258 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,573 - YOU GOT ALL OF THAT FROM A PICTURE? 259 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,675 - NO, YOU TOLD ME YESTERDAY. ANDY... 260 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,345 I WANT TO HELP YOU WIN HER OVER. 261 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,847 WHY DO I WANT TO HELP HIM? 262 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,348 BECAUSE HE'S A GOOD PERSON. 263 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,183 I LOVE GOOD PEOPLE. 264 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,686 - HEY, YOU KNOW WHO SHOULD WEAR THESE SHOES? 265 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,722 MONKEYS. 266 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,126 - WELL, THIS IS AN INTERESTING TURN OF EVENTS. 267 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,360 - IS IT? I-I DON'T KNOW. 268 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,929 I MEAN, I GUESS IT'S KIND OF INTERESTING. 269 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:22,996 WHAT THE REAL STORY IS 270 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,165 IS HOW WONDERFUL OUR TIME CAPSULE IS 271 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,735 AND HOW IT PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES-- 272 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,202 A WORD I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD USE-- 273 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,238 WHAT OUR TOWN IS ALL ABOUT. 274 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,773 - HEY, HOW'S THIS FOR A HEADLINE? 275 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,175 "PARKS DEPARTMENT FOILED BY PIPE DREAMS." 276 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,310 - GOD, THAT'S AN AMAZING HEADLINE, 277 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,179 BUT PLEASE DON'T WRITE THAT STORY. 278 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:42,215 - THE KEY TO APRIL'S HEART IS WITHIN YOU, ANDY. 279 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,084 YOU NEED TO TAP IN TO THE ASPECTS 280 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,920 OF YOUR PERSONALITY THAT SHE ONCE FOUND ATTRACTIVE 281 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:50,157 TO MAKE YOURSELF THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. 282 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,258 WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT YOU? 283 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,993 - I'M NICE. 284 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,394 - GOOD! NICE. 285 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,129 WHAT ELSE? 286 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,264 - I'M IN A BAND. 287 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,299 - BAND! 288 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:03,136 WHAT ELSE? - THAT'S IT. 289 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,272 - AM I TEAM EDWARD? YES. 290 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:08,408 DO I SHARE HIS CONCERNS ABOUT TURNING BELLA, THOUGH? 291 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,010 ABSOLUTELY NOT. 292 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,379 - EDWARD'S PRIMARY GOAL AT ALL TIMES 293 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,014 IS BELLA'S PROTECTION. 294 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:17,184 - CAN YOU PLEASE, PLEASE BE QUIET? 295 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,285 - SORRY. SORRY. 296 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,821 PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN. BE CONSIDERATE. 297 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,189 [loud whispering] LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, TOM. 298 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,191 BELLA'S LOVE FOR EDWARD IS BEING TESTED. 299 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,793 - BY JACOB? 300 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,094 - MM. NOT EXACTLY. 301 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,261 - THE VOLTURI? - YES. 302 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,262 - OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? ALL RIGHT. 303 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,731 I'M GONNA GO DO MY WORK IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM, 304 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,800 'CAUSE YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST. 305 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,768 - YOU SEEM TENSE, LESLIE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? 306 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,036 - READ TWILIGHT? 307 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,037 - READ TWILIGHT. HERE. 308 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,306 - YEAH, THANKS. 309 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,274 - SOMETIMES I THINK SHE'S IN THE VOLTURI. 310 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,244 [laughter] 311 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,280 - GOOD MORNING, KELLY. 312 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,949 - OH, MORNING, LESLIE. 313 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,884 HOPE YOU DON'T MIND I MOVED MYSELF OVER TO THIS PIPE. 314 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,019 IT'S A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE. 315 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,153 - NO PROBLEM. 316 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,254 DID YOU HAVE A NICE NIGHT? SLEEP WELL? 317 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,823 - MM, IT WAS ALL RIGHT, CONSIDERING. 318 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:56,924 - PICKED YOU UP SOME COFFEE. 319 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,191 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. 320 00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,426 WELL, YOU SEEM PRETTY CHIPPER THIS MORNING. 321 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:00,794 - I AM, KELLY, 322 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:04,264 BECAUSE I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE. 323 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,999 YOU KNOW WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT? 324 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,768 - READ TWILIGHT, AND IT TRANSFORMED YOUR LIFE 325 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,169 AND YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT IN THE TIME CAPSULE? 326 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,971 - WELL, I READ THE FIRST TEN PAGES. 327 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,305 I COULDN'T REALLY GET INTO IT, THOUGH. 328 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,407 MORE OF A HARRY POTTER GIRL MYSELF. 329 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,876 - WHAT? 330 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,144 - BUT I LOOKED AT THE INSIDE COVER, 331 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,080 AND I SAW THIS. 332 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,215 DID A LITTLE RESEARCH, AND LIZ WAVERLY 333 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,084 IS 12 YEARS OLD, A STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT 334 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,252 AT KING PHILIP MIDDLE. 335 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,254 SHE'S ALSO A MEMBER OF MANY 336 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,156 TWILIGHT INTERNET MESSAGE BOARDS 337 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,792 AND I'M GUESSING YOUR DAUGHTER? 338 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,294 IS THAT WHY YOU DID THIS? 339 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,996 TO IMPRESS YOUR DAUGHTER? 340 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,399 - LIZ'S MOM AND I DIVORCED A COUPLE YEARS AGO, 341 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,101 AND IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD ON HER. 342 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,436 AND SHE LOVES TWILIGHT AND SO... 343 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,272 I READ ABOUT YOUR TIME CAPSULE AND I THOUGHT 344 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,940 THAT IF I COULD SOMEHOW CONVINCE YOU 345 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,309 TO GET IT IN THERE, I'D BE A BIG HERO. 346 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,378 - THAT'S REALLY SWEET. 347 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,347 YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU WERE DOING THIS FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. 348 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,216 - I DIDN'T WANT TO DRAG HER INTO IT. 349 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,185 I'M SORRY. THIS IS A MISTAKE. 350 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,220 YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT TWILIGHT IN THE TIME CAPSULE. 351 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,155 - [sighs] 352 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,224 I THINK WE SHOULD PUT TWILIGHT IN THE TIME CAPSULE. 353 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,926 - LESLIE, NO. 354 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,795 WE DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH WEIRDOS. 355 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,930 - YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED TO, "A PERFECT ENCAPSULATION 356 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,164 OF LIFE IN PAWNEE"? 357 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,200 - WELL, FOR THAT GUY, LIFE IN PAWNEE 358 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,335 IS HIM AND HIS DAUGHTER READING THAT BOOK. 359 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,270 BESIDES, I CAN GET SHAUNA ON BOARD. 360 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,139 IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT HUMAN INTEREST STORY. 361 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,908 - UH, IF THIS GETS OUT, 362 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,442 EVERY TIME YOU WANT TO DO ANYTHING, 363 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,277 SOME GUY'S GONNA COME INTO YOUR OFFICE 364 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:25,946 AND HANDCUFF HIMSELF TO A PIPE. 365 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:29,182 - WELL, YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD POINT. 366 00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:32,419 THEN WE SHALL BRING THE PIPE TO THEM. 367 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,486 - OH, NO. 368 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,256 - OH, YES. 369 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,557 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 370 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,793 - CRACKPOT CONVENTION. 371 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,229 - SO THAT'S WHAT TODAY'S FORUM IS FOR. 372 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,031 WE'RE GONNA HEAR SUGGESTIONS FROM EVERYONE, 373 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,533 AND THEN WHICHEVER ITEMS WE GENERALLY AGREE ON 374 00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:49,402 WILL GO INTO THE TIME CAPSULE. 375 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,471 PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS A GOVERNMENT PROJECT, 376 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,374 SO WE NEED TO REFRAIN FROM CORPORATE PROMOTION 377 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:55,809 AND RELIGIOUS ITEMS. 378 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:56,709 WHO'D LIKE TO START? 379 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,279 - I THINK WE SHOULD PUT IN THE BIBLE. 380 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,281 - GREAT. 381 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,253 - EDUARDO. 382 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,387 HI, EDUARDO. 383 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,923 I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. 384 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,424 JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE DATING MY SOUL MATE 385 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,127 DOESN'T GIVE ME ANY RIGHT TO BE A JERK TO YOU. 386 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,262 UM, I PROMISE FROM NOW ON, 387 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,965 I'M JUST GONNA BE... SUPER NICE TO YOU. 388 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,266 - THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT. 389 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,333 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 390 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,135 - UM, WHAT, UH, CDs ARE THOSE? 391 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,470 - MOUSE RAT. MY BAND. 392 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,372 IT'S OUR LATEST ALBUM. YEAH. 393 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,307 YOU, UH, LIKE MUSIC? WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? 394 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,143 - THE SMITHS. UGH. VERY DEPRESSING. 395 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,244 - APRIL'S MAKING YOU LISTEN TO THAT? 396 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,980 SHE'S REALLY INTO THAT INDIE STUFF. 397 00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,382 I'M MORE OF A DAVE MATTHEWS GUY MYSELF. 398 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,317 - DAVID MATTHEWS! CRASH INTO ME! 399 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,087 - YES! I LOVE THAT SONG. 400 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,155 HERE YOU GO, HERE. TAKE ONE. CHECK US OUT. 401 00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:44,491 WE'RE AMAZING, SO LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE US. 402 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,959 - YEAH, GRACIAS. 403 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,928 - THAT MEANS "THANK YOU"? 404 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,030 - YES. - NAILED IT. 405 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:53,233 - SO WE HAVE ONE VERY MOVING CASE FOR TWILIGHT. 406 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,568 ANYONE ELSE? GREAT. 407 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,404 TWO PEOPLE FOR TWILIGHT. - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 408 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,040 I'M MARCIA LANGMAN FROM THE SOCIETY 409 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,541 FOR FAMILY STABILITY FOUNDATION. 410 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,111 THIS BOOK CONTAINS PAGAN CREATURES 411 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,179 AND STRONG SEXUAL OVERTONES. 412 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,949 THERE ARE GIRLS QUIVERING. 413 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,284 THERE ARE BOYS STARING DEEPLY INTO GIRLS' EYES 414 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,220 AS THEY QUIVER AND SO FORTH. 415 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,222 THERE REALLY IS A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF QUIVERING. 416 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,924 IT IS ANTI-CHRISTIAN, 417 00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,959 IT IS PRO-QUIVERING, AND THE GOVERNMENT 418 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,660 HAS NO BUSINESS PROMOTING IT. 419 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,595 [applause] 420 00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,164 - I TOTALLY DISAGREE. 421 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,899 - WELL, NOW WE HAVE TWO PEOPLE FOR TWILIGHT. 422 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,334 - ABSOLUTELY NOT. 423 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,436 I'M WITH THE NATIONAL CIVIL LIBERTIES ASSOCIATION. 424 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:33,306 THAT BOOK ACTUALLY CONTAINS OVERT CHRISTIAN THEMES, 425 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,009 AND AS SUCH, HAS NO BUSINESS BEING ASSOCIATED 426 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,477 WITH ANY GOVERNMENT PROJECT. 427 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:42,215 - SO TOO CHRISTIAN AND NOT CHRISTIAN ENOUGH? 428 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,550 DO YOU SEE THE IRONY HERE? 429 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,185 NO? OKAY. 430 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,621 UH, DONNA, WHY DON'T YOU PUT A QUESTION MARK 431 00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:49,957 NEXT TO TWILIGHT? 432 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,025 - NO! YOU PROMISED! 433 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,660 - YOU PROMISED? THAT'S NOT FAIR! 434 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,228 - WAIT, IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF FAIRNESS. 435 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,097 IT'S SECUL-- - GO BACK TO RUSSIA, COMMIE! 436 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,431 - HEY, YOU GO BACK TO RUSSIA! 437 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,067 AND YOU GO BACK TO WHEREVER YOU CAME FROM! 438 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,001 - WHY WOULD I GO TO RUSSIA? 439 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,469 I HAVE NO INTEREST IN TRAVELING TO RUSSIA. 440 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,937 CAN I JUST SAY THAT? 441 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:06,673 - UM, WHO ELSE? 442 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,408 - I WOULD LIKE TO INCLUDE MY FAVORITE BOOK: 443 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,710 CRAZY FROM THE HEAT: THE DAVID LEE ROTH STORY. 444 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,911 - WELL, I THINK IF WE'RE GONNA BE ADDING A BOOK 445 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,214 TO THE TIME CAPSULE, IT WOULD PROBABLY BE TWILIGHT. 446 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,984 - I DON'T CARE ABOUT TWILIGHT. 447 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,485 WHY IS THIS ONLY ABOUT HIS FAVORITE BOOK? 448 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,187 I WANT MY FAVORITE BOOK IN THERE. 449 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,989 - OKAY, I HAVE AN IDEA. 450 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,224 TWO TIME CAPSULES. 451 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,360 ONE THAT TOTALLY ENCAPSULATES WHAT'S HAPPENING 452 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,129 RIGHT NOW IN PAWNEE IN THIS MOMENT IN TIME 453 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,597 AND THE OTHER ONE THAT'S JUST FOR ITEMS 454 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,233 OF PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE, LIKE TWILIGHT. 455 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,068 - NO TWILIGHT! 456 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,736 - YES, TWILIGHT! 457 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,238 - [sighs] 458 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,673 - HEY. - HEY. 459 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,142 THANKS FOR COMING. 460 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,611 - I ONLY HAVE A SECOND. I HAVE TO GET TO WORK. 461 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,147 - BELLA'S GOING ON HER FIRST HUNT. 462 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,051 I JUST DON'T GET WHY YOU BROKE UP WITH ME. 463 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,052 IS IT 'CAUSE I'M NOT COOL ENOUGH 464 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:54,487 LIKE THE NORMAL KIDS COMPARED TO THE VAMPIRES? 465 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,490 IS IT AN EDWARD-BELLA-JACOB TYPE SITUATION 466 00:15:57,524 --> 00:16:00,493 WHERE YOU LIKE ME BUT THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE YOU LIKE MORE? 467 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:04,998 - UH, IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH TWILIGHT. 468 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:08,035 IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT. OKAY? 469 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,536 - WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? 470 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,371 IF WE STAYED TOGETHER, YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE 471 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,372 JUST DUMPED ME FOR RON. 472 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,008 - ACTUALLY, THAT'S THE REASON. 473 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,277 I BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE 474 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,579 WITH WENDY ANYMORE, BUT YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT COOL 475 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:20,713 WITH HER DATING RON. 476 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,049 YOU TALK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY. 477 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,017 - WELL, I CAN'T HELP IT, OKAY? 478 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:26,486 I MEAN, HE'S SO MANLY, AND HE'S MY BOSS. 479 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,089 IMAGINE IF YOUR BOSS WAS ANGELINA JOLIE, 480 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,024 AND THEN ONE DAY, SHE JUST STARTED 481 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:31,991 DATING YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND. 482 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,060 WOULDN'T THAT FREAK YOU OUT A LITTLE BIT? 483 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:36,063 - WELL, NOT IF I HAD GREAT NEW BOYFRIEND, DUMBASS. 484 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,065 LOOK, TOM, I LIKE YOU. 485 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,633 YOU'RE REALLY CUTE AND YOU'RE FUNNY 486 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,236 AND YOU'RE SMALL ENOUGH FOR ME TO THROW YOU AROUND. 487 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:45,538 SO IF YOU EVER WORK THROUGH THIS, 488 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,574 THEN GIVE ME A CALL. 489 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,815 - MY GRANDMOTHER LIVED IN PAWNEE FOR 60 YEARS, 490 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,818 AND I WANT TO PUT HER ASHES IN THE TIME CAPSULE. 491 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:03,123 - MY CAT, TURNIP, WAS THE GREATEST CAT EVER, 492 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,658 AND I'D LIKE TO PUT HIS ASHES IN THE TIME CAPSULE. 493 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,761 - FOR THE LAST TIME, AND I WON'T SAY THIS AGAIN, 494 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:12,099 THERE WILL BE NO HUMAN OR FELINE ASHES 495 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,833 IN EITHER ONE OF THE TIME CAPSULES. 496 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,768 - EXCEPT FOR TURNIP. 497 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,804 [begins chanting] EXCEPT FOR TURNIP. 498 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,306 - NO CHANTING. 499 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,640 - LOOK, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WORLD 500 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,242 IS GOING TO BE LIKE IN 50 YEARS. 501 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:26,179 WE COULD ALL HAVE BEEN WIPED OUT FROM DISEASE OR THE FLU. 502 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,115 - SO WHAT'S YOUR SUGGESTION? 503 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,183 - I DON'T KNOW. 504 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,851 I'M JUST SCARED. 505 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,286 - HEY. 506 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,322 [speaking Spanish] 507 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,324 - [speaking Spanish] 508 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:48,535 - [playing guitar] 509 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,536 - ANDY! 510 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,871 - I GOT TWO MICROPHONES, A FOUR-TRACK RECORDER, 511 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,407 AND EVERY BASS TAB TO DAVE MATTHEWS EVER. 512 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:55,608 - VAMOS! - WE'RE GONNA JAM 513 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:56,876 FOR, LIKE, NINE HOURS. IS THAT COOL? 514 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,145 - YEAH. - ALL RIGHT. 515 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,313 - THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 516 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,149 NOW, WHY SHOULD THE BILL OF RIGHTS 517 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,817 BE IN THE OFFICIAL TIME CAPSULE 518 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:07,154 BUT THIS PAINTING OF MY DOG 519 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,689 IS IN TIME CAPSULE SEVEN? 520 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:12,725 - WELL, I THINK PET PAINTINGS/ASHES 521 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,594 ARE IN TIME CAPSULE FOUR. 522 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,397 - NO, THAT'S BASEBALL CARDS. 523 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,166 - NO, BASEBALL CARDS 524 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,901 ARE IN TIME CAPSULE NINE: CHILDHOOD MEMORABILIA. 525 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:22,735 - HONESTLY, TWILIGHT COULD GO 526 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,737 IN ALMOST ANY OF THESE CATEGORIES. 527 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,506 - OH, SHUT UP, KELLY! 528 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,774 - MAKE ME, BOB! 529 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,477 - OKAY, LET'S TAKE A TEN-MINUTE BREAK! 530 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,179 OH, GOD. 531 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:35,248 THIS TIME CAPSULE'S TEARING THIS TOWN APART. 532 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,115 YOU'RE LEAVING SOON. 533 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,884 CAN I BLAME IT ON YOU IN THE PRESS? 534 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,587 - SURE. 535 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,522 WELL, I GOT TO SAY, I THINK IT'S KIND OF IMPRESSIVE. 536 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,823 I'VE BEEN TO A LOT OF TOWNS. 537 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,558 USUALLY PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. 538 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,893 I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. 539 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,895 THESE PEOPLE ARE WEIRDOS, 540 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:52,765 BUT THEY'RE WEIRDOS WHO CARE. 541 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,436 - EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE. 542 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,539 I REALIZE THINGS HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL, 543 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,541 AND THAT'S BEN'S FAULT, AND HE'S SORRY. 544 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,376 BUT I HAVE AN IDEA, AND IF YOU LIKE IT, 545 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:06,313 I THINK WE CAN END THIS RIGHT NOW. 546 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,914 "DEAR PAWNEE OF THE FUTURE, 547 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,949 "CONGRATULATIONS. 548 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,851 "YOU HAVE FOUND A TIME CAPSULE 549 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,886 "THAT WAS BURIED OVER 50 YEARS AGO. 550 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,789 "WE WANTED TO INCLUDE A COLLECTION OF ITEMS 551 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,790 "THAT WOULD BEST REPRESENT 552 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,727 "WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE IN OUR TOWN AT THAT MOMENT. 553 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,530 "INSTEAD, YOU'LL FIND ONLY ONE ITEM-- 554 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:27,234 "A VIDEO RECORDING OF A PUBLIC FORUM WE HELD 555 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,470 "IN ORDER TO DETERMINE JUST WHAT THOSE ITEMS WOULD BE. 556 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,605 "THIS IS TRULY WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE-- 557 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,542 "A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF OPINIONS 558 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,610 "ARGUING PASSIONATELY FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN. 559 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,713 "SO ENJOY WATCHING IT. 560 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,450 "A-ASSUMING YOU STILL HAVE ELECTRICITY. 561 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:46,519 "AND SORRY ABOUT THE WEIRD BLANK GAP IN THE MIDDLE. 562 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:47,820 "A MAN NAMED JERRY GERGICH 563 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,557 "SCREWED UP THE RECORDING SOMEHOW. 564 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,792 "HE HAD ONE JOB TO DO. 565 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:56,329 SINCERELY, PAWNEE OF THE PAST." 566 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,471 - IS EDUARDO COMING? 567 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,973 - NO. HE WENT BACK TO VENEZUELA. 568 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,310 - OH, THAT SUCKS. HE'S A REALLY GOOD BASSIST. 569 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,412 I WAS ACTUALLY STARTING TO LIKE HIM. 570 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,780 - I KNOW. 571 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,748 THAT'S WHAT MADE ME START TO HATE HIM. 572 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:22,722 - HEY, "NICE" AND "BAND" TOTALLY WORKED. 573 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,896 - HAVE YOU ENJOYED YOUR TIME WITH ANDY? 574 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,831 - YEAH, HE'S GREAT. 575 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,833 AND HE TOLD ME HOW GREAT YOU ARE, 576 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,868 AND HE TOLD ME THAT 577 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,338 I WOULD BE CRAZY TO LET YOU GET AWAY. 578 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,906 - HE DID, HUH? - HE DID. 579 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,308 AND ALSO... 580 00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,709 THERE IS A PRETZEL STAND OVER THERE 581 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,412 THAT SERVES, LITERALLY, THE BEST PRETZEL I'VE EVER HAD. 582 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,714 WOULD YOU LIKE ONE? - ABSOLUTELY. 583 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,883 - HEY, GUYS. - HEY, TOM. 584 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,752 - TOM! - LISTEN, I'VE NEVER 585 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,754 SEEN THIS BEFORE, SO I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT 586 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,989 IF NO ONE LIKE TALKED OR TEXTED OR ANYTHING. 587 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,691 [movie begins] 588 00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,293 - OH! 589 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,432 HI! 590 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,867 - HI, LESLIE. THANKS FOR SETTING THIS UP. 591 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,802 - DUDE, WHAT DID I JUST SAY? - HEY, I WAS THE GUY 592 00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:09,902 WHO INTRODUCED YOU TO-- - HOW 'BOUT YOU SHUT UP?