1 00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:03,137 - THERE IS A CRAZY FLU GOING AROUND-- 2 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:05,273 LOTS OF MISERABLE DEHYDRATED PEOPLE 3 00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:08,376 WITH HIGH FEVERS AND DIARRHEA. 4 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,710 AND ONE OF THOSE 5 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,713 DEHYDRATED, HIGH-FEVERED MISERABLE PEOPLE 6 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,215 IS APRIL... 7 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,283 WHO HATES ME. 8 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:18,386 [device beeping] 9 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,654 - I WANT ANOTHER NURSE. - WELL, THERE ARE NONE. 10 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,756 WE'RE STRETCHED PRETTY THIN RIGHT NOW. 11 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,093 - THEN I WANT A JANITOR. THEY CAN DO WHAT YOU DO, RIGHT? 12 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:28,262 - YEP, NURSES AND JANITORS ARE TOTALLY INTERCHANGEABLE. 13 00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:29,830 - EXCEPT NO ONE DRESSES UP LIKE A JANITOR 14 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,632 WHEN THEY WANT TO BE SLUTTY. 15 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,601 - I GET THE SENSE THAT MAYBE YOU'RE ANGRY AT ME 16 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:34,835 FOR KISSING ANDY... 17 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,437 - NO, I'M NOT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 18 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,638 THAT'S CRAZY. 19 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,807 - AND THAT YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE FUN TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME. 20 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,575 PLEASE DON'T DO THAT. 21 00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:44,078 - "DO"? I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. 22 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:47,148 I'M SICK. 23 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,783 [device beeping] 24 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,386 MY BLANKETS ARE ON THE FLOOR. 25 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:53,854 [device beeping] 26 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,857 [triumphant music] 27 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:05,166 * 28 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,509 - SO, JJ, WE WANTED 29 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,545 TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE HARVEST FESTIVAL. 30 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,813 - YEAH, I HEARD YOU WERE BRINGING THAT BACK. 31 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:20,681 - [coughing] 32 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,883 - SORRY, I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING MYSELF. 33 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,951 [clears throat] 34 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,787 WELL, I'M ORGANIZING THIS HUGE HARVEST FESTIVAL, 35 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,857 AND I NEED AT LEAST 80 LOCAL BUSINESSES 36 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,392 TO PARTICIPATE. 37 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,826 AND NORMALLY, THIS IS THE KIND OF THING 38 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,295 I WOULD LOVE TO DO, 39 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,231 BUT I'M JUST FEELING REALLY TIRED. 40 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:40,568 I THINK MAYBE MY ALLERGIES ARE ACTING UP. 41 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:45,439 I'VE ALREADY VOMITED, LIKE, FIVE TIMES TODAY. 42 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:47,475 WE'RE HAVING A MEETING TONIGHT AT THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, 43 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:48,909 AND WE'RE GONNA GO OVER ALL THE DETAILS, 44 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,179 AND WE'D JUST LOVE IF YOU COULD COME AND JOIN US. 45 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:54,382 - SURE, ANYTHING FOR MY FAVORITE CUSTOMER. 46 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,384 - [chuckles] I BET YOU SAY THAT TO ALL THE GIRLS. 47 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,686 - OH, NO, NO. ACTUALLY, YOU'RE MY FAVORITE. 48 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:04,458 YOU SPENT OVER $1,000 LAST YEAR ON WAFFLES ALONE. 49 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,227 - [coughing] 50 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,328 - HERE. 51 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,929 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO BRING YOU, 52 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,200 SO I JUST GOT SOME MAGAZINES AND LIPSTICK-- 53 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,334 WOMAN STUFF. 54 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,735 - THANKS. 55 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,938 ALL MY PARENTS GOT ME WAS THAT. 56 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,473 - OKAY, WELL, I'M NOT VERY GOOD 57 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,442 AT VISITING PEOPLE IN HOSPITALS, 58 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,577 SO I'M GOING TO GO. 59 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:27,281 - HEY, IF YOU SEE ANDY, WILL YOU NOT TELL HIM I'M HERE? 60 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:28,882 - OKAY. - BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED, 61 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,451 I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK-- - STOP. 62 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,620 DON'T WANT TO KNOW. 63 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,822 THE LESS I KNOW ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S AFFAIRS, 64 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,190 THE HAPPIER I AM. 65 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:39,260 I'M NOT INTERESTED IN CARING ABOUT PEOPLE. 66 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,529 I ONCE WORKED WITH A GUY FOR THREE YEARS 67 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,531 AND NEVER LEARNED HIS NAME-- 68 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,234 BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD. 69 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:49,470 WE STILL NEVER TALK SOMETIMES. 70 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,507 - MMM. 71 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:56,477 SO WE'VE DEVELOPED A REVENUE-SHARING FORMULA 72 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,912 THAT WILL HOPEFULLY APPEAL TO MOST BUSINESS OWNERS. 73 00:02:58,946 --> 00:02:59,947 - LESLIE! 74 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,949 GO HOME. YOU'RE SICK. 75 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,884 - I'M NOT SICK. IT'S JUST ALLERGIES. 76 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,354 COME ON, GUYS. JUST LET ME IN THERE. 77 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,688 - NO. - YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE. 78 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:08,756 - YOU'RE NOT COMING IN. 79 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,958 - LESLIE, YOU LOOK TIRED, AND YOU'RE ALL SWEATY. 80 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,726 - YOU LOOK TIRED, AND YOU'RE ALL SWEATY ALL THE TIME. 81 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,462 WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE? YOU WANT TO GO THERE, JERRY? 82 00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,297 - NO. - FINE, I'M COMING IN. 83 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,466 - DONNA, BARRICADE THE DOOR, NOW! 84 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,369 - DONNA, COME ON, JUST LET ME IN. 85 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,636 - UN-UH. 86 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,805 - EITHER GO HOME, OR GO BACK INTO QUARANTINE. 87 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,507 - I'M NOT GOING HOME. 88 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,342 - GET OUT OF HERE, LESLIE. GO HOME. 89 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:29,843 - HIT THE BRICKS. 90 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,015 - OH, COME ON. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 91 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,650 SHE'S GERMING UP ALL MY STUFF. 92 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:39,253 AW, YUCK. LESLIE! 93 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,557 - ANN PERKINS. - HEY. 94 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,758 HOW WAS YOUR RUN? 95 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,494 - ENDED WITH A 5 1/2-MINUTE MILE, 96 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,695 MY PERSONAL LOW. 97 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,897 I THINK THE PAVEMENT IN THIS TOWN IS SOFT. 98 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,566 - WHAT'S WITH THE MASK? - FLU PREVENTION. 99 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,868 MY BODY IS FINELY TUNED, LIKE A MICROCHIP. 100 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,604 AND THE FLU IS LIKE A GRAIN OF SAND. 101 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,872 IT COULD LITERALLY SHUT DOWN THE ENTIRE SYSTEM. 102 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,041 - MY BODY'S LIKE A CHIP TOO. 103 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,477 POTATO CHIP. [both chuckle] 104 00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:04,612 NO. 105 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:05,546 - SPEAKING OF POTATO CHIPS, 106 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,748 YOU AND I ARE ON FOR DINNER TOMORROW, YES? 107 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,916 - YES, DEFINITELY. 108 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,919 I'M SUPER, SUPER EXCITED. 109 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:12,920 LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 110 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,955 - EXCELLENT. 111 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,859 WAY TO GO, BUDDY. WAY TO GO. 112 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,694 - WE'VE BEEN ON A COUPLE OF DATES. 113 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:21,962 I REALLY LIKE HIM. 114 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:26,066 THE PROBLEM IS, HE'S LIKE A PERFECT HUMAN MAN. 115 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,902 I CAN'T FIND ONE FLAW. 116 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:32,072 THERE WAS ONE TIME I THOUGHT HE FARTED. 117 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,442 BUT IT WAS ME. 118 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,843 [telephone ringing] 119 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:39,813 - I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE TO FILL IN FOR APRIL. 120 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:42,316 NOW, I KNOW I'M NOT GONNA FIND SOMEONE 121 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,886 WHO'S BOTH AGGRESSIVELY MEAN AND APATHETIC. 122 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:49,323 APRIL REALLY IS THE WHOLE PACKAGE. 123 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,091 BUT I THINK I MIGHT KNOW SOMEONE 124 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,827 WHO WILL BE JUST AS INEFFECTIVE. 125 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:57,431 [soft country music playing] 126 00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:59,933 HELLO, ANDREW. WHAT'S NEW? 127 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,069 - UM, A WHOLE LOT. 128 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,037 CHECK THIS OUT. I JUST INVENTED IT-- 129 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,473 SUPER STRAW. 130 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,976 * 131 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,744 AHH. 132 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:13,981 - SO JUST SIT HERE AND DO YOUR THING. 133 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,616 - DO I HAVE TO TUCK MY SHIRT IN? 134 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,518 BECAUSE, HONESTLY, THAT'S KIND OF A DEAL BREAKER. 135 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,719 - LET 'ER FLY. 136 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:19,887 - HEY, WAIT. 137 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,489 WHERE'S APRIL? 138 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,856 IS SHE ALL RIGHT? 139 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:26,494 - YEAH. I JUST GAVE HER THE DAY OFF. 140 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,397 - WOULD IT BE WEIRD IF I ASKED FOR THE DAY OFF? 141 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,865 YEAH, NO. IT'S OKAY. I DIDN'T THINK SO. 142 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,667 - I'M SORRY. ARE YOU LEAVING? 143 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,135 I THOUGHT WE HAD A MEETING. - NO, WE DO. 144 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,371 IT'S JUST I THINK IT'S A LITTLE CHILLY IN HERE. 145 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:38,806 - ARE YOU OKAY? YOUR EYES ARE GLASSY. 146 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:39,640 - OH, MY GOD. OH, MY-- 147 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,675 IS SHE--IS SHE SICK? ARE YOU SICK? 148 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,778 - NO. - YEAH, SHE'S SICK. 149 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,414 THAT'S WHY I'M WEARING THIS 150 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,682 AND MISTING MYSELF WITH HAND SANITIZER. 151 00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:50,418 - I AM NOT SICK. 152 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,985 I JUST HAVE ALLERGIES, OKAY? 153 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,521 I TOOK A CLARITIN, AND I THREW THAT UP. 154 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,022 SO I TOOK ANOTHER ONE. I THREW THAT UP. 155 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,024 AND THEN I TOOK A THIRD, AND IT STAYED DOWN. 156 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,091 I'M GETTING BETTER. 157 00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,727 - ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE BURNING UP. 158 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,495 - YOU'RE BURNING UP. WHAT? 159 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,696 - I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. 160 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,598 I HAVE 2.8% BODY FAT. 161 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:05,966 MY BODY'S LIKE A MICROCHIP. 162 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,602 A GRAIN OF SAND COULD DESTROY IT. 163 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:11,705 MY BODY'S A MICROCHIP. 164 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:12,740 - LESLIE, GO HOME. 165 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:13,807 - NO, I CAN'T. I CAN'T GO HOME. 166 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,776 I HAVE TO GET READY FOR THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS. 167 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,044 - COMMERCE. 168 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,746 - IF THIS MEETING DOES NOT GO PERFECTLY, 169 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,748 THEN THE HARVEST FESTIVAL'S GONNA BE OVER BEFORE IT BEGAN. 170 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:21,815 I CANNOT GO HOME. 171 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:25,453 - OKAY, THEN WHO IS YOUR DOCTOR? - ANN'S MY DOCTOR. 172 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,721 AND SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NURSE IN THE WORLD. 173 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,557 - COME ON. - OH, GOD. 174 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,891 NOW I'M HOT. NOW IT'S REALLY HOT IN HERE. 175 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,726 - OKAY, WELL, THAT'S YOUR FEVER. 176 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,195 - LESLIE, I TYPED YOUR SYMPTOMS INTO THE THING UP HERE, 177 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,932 AND IT SAYS YOU COULD HAVE NETWORK CONNECTIVITY PROBLEMS. 178 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,602 - 104.1. 179 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,871 LESLIE, YOU'RE DEHYDRATED. I'M ADMITTING YOU. 180 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,906 - IF I WAS SICK, COULD I DO THIS? 181 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,979 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - CARTWHEELS. 182 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,113 AM I NOT DOING THEM? 183 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,082 - NO. - LOOK, DON'T WORRY. 184 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,084 I'VE DONE PRESENTATIONS LIKE THIS BEFORE, 185 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,552 AND TOM WILL BE WITH ME. 186 00:06:58,586 --> 00:06:59,887 SO YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS. 187 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,923 - IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T TRUST BEN. 188 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:06,460 IT'S THAT I DON'T HAVE FAITH IN BEN. 189 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:09,997 AND ALSO, I'M STARTING TO FORGET WHO BEN IS. 190 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,134 - I'LL HANDLE THE GENERAL OUTLINE, IF YOU WANT TO... 191 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,703 - LOOK. - JUST JUMP RIGHT IN. 192 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:16,904 - THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO 193 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,006 WITH AN IMPORTANT PRESENTATION LIKE THIS IS OVER-PREPARE. 194 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,608 - WELL-- - SO... 195 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,576 I THINK IT'S BEST IF I GO TO THE SPA. 196 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:26,046 - NO, WE PROMISED LESLIE WE'D PREP FOR THE MEETING. 197 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,581 - NO, BEN, YOU PROMISED LESLIE. 198 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,683 SEE, I NEVER PROMISE LESLIE ANYTHING. 199 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,652 THAT WAY, I NEVER DISAPPOINT HER. 200 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,620 I TRY TO BE CONSIDERATE. 201 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,955 WELL... 202 00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:38,626 I AM OFF FOR A SOAK AND A SCHVITZ. 203 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,662 "ARRIVEDERCH." 204 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,500 [telephone rings] 205 00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,770 - RON SWANSON'S OFFICE. 206 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,871 YES. 207 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,973 I WILL TRANSFER YOU. 208 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,511 [dial tone] 209 00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,981 I JUST DROPPED ANOTHER CALL. 210 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:05,519 [device beeping] 211 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:08,288 - I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE A FRESH SET OF PILLOWS. 212 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,723 - ARE YOU TRYING TO SMOTHER ME? 213 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,992 HELP! THE SLUTTY NURSE IS TRYING 214 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,961 TO SMOTHER ME TO DEATH WITH A PILLOW! 215 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,162 - OKAY, NEVER MIND. 216 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,064 - STAY BACK, SLUT. 217 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,066 - I KNOW WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO DO. 218 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,668 SHE'S TRYING TO GET ME TO BREAK. 219 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,670 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT GONNA DO IT. 220 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,737 I'M GONNA BE PROFESSIONAL, 221 00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,573 AND I'M GONNA PUT ON A HAPPY FACE, 222 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,140 AND THEN I'M GONNA GO INTO A SUPPLY CLOSET 223 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,543 AND SNAP A BUNCH OF TONGUE DEPRESSORS. 224 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,546 - OKAY, SO LET'S, UM, TALK ABOUT YOUR OPENING REMARKS. 225 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,081 DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE YOU A RAP? 226 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,549 I'LL WRITE YOU A RAP. NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 227 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,917 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO PULL IT OFF. 228 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,051 YOU'RE TOO WHITE. 229 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,119 HOW ABOUT A SHOW TUNE OR SOMETHING? 230 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:42,656 - I WAS JUST, UH, PLANNING TO INTRODUCE MYSELF... 231 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:43,724 NON-MUSICALLY, 232 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,026 AND THEN GET EVERYONE TO REFER TO THEIR PACKETS, 233 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,995 AND, UH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 234 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,063 - NO. NO "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH," OKAY? 235 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,232 YOU NEED TO GO OVER EVERY SINGLE DETAIL WITH ME. 236 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,902 - LESLIE, I PROMISE YOU, I WON'T HALF-ASS THIS, OKAY? 237 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,069 NOW GET SOME REST. 238 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,572 - I HAVE SOME GREAT NEWS. I THINK MY FEVER JUST BROKE. 239 00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,307 - GOOD-BYE. 240 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,748 - THIS CAME OUT. 241 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:08,949 - EH. 242 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,250 I AM STARVING. 243 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,852 I HAVEN'T HAD LUNCH SINCE YESTERDAY. 244 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,621 SO I'M GONNA HEAD OVER TO CALLAHAN'S. 245 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:14,722 - OH, NO, NO, NO. DON'T GO THERE. 246 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,256 THEY TOTALLY SKIMP ON PICKLES. 247 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,058 LET ME GO TO BIGHEAD JOE'S FOR YOU. 248 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,327 THEY HAVE THE MOST INSANE BURRITOS. 249 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,663 - I DON'T MUCH GO FOR ETHNIC FOOD. 250 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,697 - NO, NO, NO. TRUST ME. 251 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,699 THEY HAVE ONE THAT'S CALLED THE MEAT TORNADO. 252 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,968 LITERALLY KILLED A GUY LAST YEAR. 253 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,638 - YOU HAD ME AT "MEAT TORNADO." 254 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,342 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 255 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,044 - HEY, THAT FLU MEDICINE REALLY HELPED. 256 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,746 I FEEL A THOUSAND PERCENT BETTER. 257 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,180 GOOD AS NEW. 258 00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,182 DOES THIS SCARF LOOK OKAY? I DON'T WANT TO LOOK STUFFY. 259 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,051 BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO LOOK TOO SCHLUBBY. 260 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,986 - GET BACK IN THAT BED. - SO NO TO THE SCARF? 261 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,756 - GET BACK IN THE BED. - NO, I'M GOING TO THAT MEETING. 262 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,323 - EITHER YOU GET BACK IN THE BED, 263 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,792 OR I WILL STRAP YOU DOWN. 264 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,594 I'VE DONE IT BEFORE. DON'T TEST ME. 265 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,399 [raucous laughter] 266 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,301 - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. - ALL RIGHT. 267 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,737 - NOW, WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE? 268 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,406 WOULD YOU RATHER BE ABLE TO FLY OR BE INVISIBLE? 269 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,908 ED, GO FIRST. 270 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,744 - UH, FLY, I GUESS. - I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. 271 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,345 YOU CAN ONLY FLY FIVE FEET ABOVE THE GROUND. 272 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,314 [laughter] 273 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:17,084 I BRING A CERTAIN PANACHE AND SPICE 274 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,952 TO THE SPA EXPERIENCE FOR THESE GUYS. 275 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,388 BEFORE I JOINED, THEY WERE JUST THREE OLD WHITE DUDES 276 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,423 QUIETLY BOILING IN HOT WATER. 277 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,794 WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE IN THE POCKET 278 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,429 OF A GIANT KANGAROO 279 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:33,033 OR HAVE A POCKET ON YOUR OWN STOMACH 280 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,936 THAT HAS A TINY KANGAROO IN IT ALL THE TIME? 281 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,337 PRESTON. 282 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,740 - TINY KANGAROO IN MY STOMACH POCKET. 283 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,743 - FORGOT TO MENTION, THE TINY KANGAROO IS A RACIST. 284 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,411 [laughter] 285 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,080 - HEY, ANN. 286 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,381 - WHAT HAPPENED? 287 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:51,084 I JUST SAW YOU A FEW HOURS AGO, AND YOU WERE FINE. 288 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,120 NOT LIKE, "DAMN, YOU'RE FINE," 289 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,755 BUT FINE HEALTH-WISE. 290 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,357 - MY BODY HAS NO FAT TO PROTECT ITSELF FROM DISEASE. 291 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,426 THINGS HAPPEN VERY QUICKLY. LISTEN TO ME. 292 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,995 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU REPLENISH MY BODY 293 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,330 WITH ELECTROLYTES 294 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,866 AFTER EVERY INVOLUNTARY LOSS OF BODILY FLUIDS. 295 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,400 - OH, BOY. - MY BODY TENDS TO LOSE 296 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,437 A LOT OF FLUIDS WHEN IT'S SICK. 297 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,372 MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE. I'M DYING. 298 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,342 - MM. WELL, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE THE FLU. 299 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,778 - OH, MY GOD. 300 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,980 THE MICROCHIP HAS BEEN COMPROMISED. 301 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,917 - PIERRE GARCON WAS A SIXTH-ROUND PICK. 302 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:26,754 - COLLIE WAS THE FOURTH ROUND. 303 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:29,322 - INDIANAPOLIS COLTS KNOW HOW TO DRAFT SO WELL. 304 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,758 - THEY REALLY DO. 305 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:34,061 ANDY, THIS WAS DELICIOUS. 306 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,295 - IT'S AWESOME, HUH? 307 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,799 - IT'S A WHOLE NEW MEAT DELIVERY SYSTEM. 308 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,133 THANK YOU, SON. 309 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,002 - WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO OUT TO THE PARKING LOT, 310 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,471 RUN A FEW PASS PLAYS TO BURN OFF THE CALORIES? 311 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:47,474 - YOU ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE GOOD-IDEA MACHINE! 312 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,742 [laughs] 313 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:50,210 I LIKE ANDY. 314 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,279 I'M SURROUNDED BY A LOT OF WOMEN 315 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,114 IN THIS DEPARTMENT. 316 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,383 AND THAT INCLUDES THE MEN. 317 00:11:56,416 --> 00:12:00,387 HUP, HUP, HUP! 318 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,122 - PEYTON MANNING READING THE DEFENSE! 319 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,390 REGGIE WAYNE, POST CORNER! 320 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,393 [car alarm blaring] 321 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,932 - [laughing wildly] 322 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,433 ANDY, WAIT UP! 323 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,036 [device beeping] 324 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,404 - HEY, APRIL. 325 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,407 I SAW THAT YOU CALLED FOR ME. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 326 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,510 - I NEED MORE FLU MEDICINE. - OH, AN ACTUAL REQUEST. 327 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,445 WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. 328 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,881 THAT STUFF IS POWERFUL-- NO EXTRA DOSES. 329 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,416 - I DIDN'T TAKE ANY. 330 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,385 LESLIE CAME IN HERE AND STOLE IT AND LEFT. 331 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,422 - LESLIE? 332 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:39,292 LESLIE! 333 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:40,828 HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN LESLIE? 334 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,395 - I HAD A DREAM 335 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,397 THAT SHE CAME INTO THIS ROOM, 336 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,101 STOLE MY FLU MEDICINE, TOLD ME NOT TO TELL YOU, 337 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,470 AND THEN DISAPPEARED THROUGH THAT HOLE IN THE WALL. 338 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,205 - THE DOOR? 339 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,975 - MAYBE WE SHOULD GET A SUITE HERE FOR THEM, OKAY? 340 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,877 - BEN WYATT! HELLO! 341 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,311 - UH, HI, LESLIE. 342 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,813 - GOOD TO SEE YOU. - YOU TOO. 343 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,182 WOW, YOU'RE REALLY BURNING UP. 344 00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,383 - CAN I GET SOME MONEY 345 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,218 FOR THE CAB THAT I TOOK OVER HERE, PLEASE? 346 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,219 - SURE. HOW MUCH? 347 00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,220 - I'M NOT SURE. 348 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,388 I LOOKED AT THE METER, 349 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,858 AND IT HAD EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPHICS ON IT. 350 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,492 - WOW. - DO YOU KNOW THE EXCHANGE RATE? 351 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,394 SO SHOULD WE DO THIS? 352 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,496 OH, BOY. HOLD ON. 353 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,498 BE CAREFUL. - WHAT? 354 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:22,002 - THE FLOOR AND THE WALL JUST SWITCHED. 355 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,436 - OKAY. 356 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,472 - WALK VERY CAREFULLY. 357 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,615 - YOU KNOW, I FIND IT A LITTLE INSULTING 358 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,217 THAT YOU DON'T TRUST ME TO HANDLE THIS. 359 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,352 - IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T TRUST YOU, OKAY? 360 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,389 IT'S JUST--THIS HARVEST FESTIVAL IS MY PROJECT. 361 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,324 IT'S MY CAREER ON THE LINE. 362 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,325 AND I JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE 363 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:49,162 THAT I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE IT WORK. 364 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,998 [sighing] OKAY. 365 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,299 IT'S SHOWTIME. 366 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,101 - OKAY. 367 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,269 - GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. I'M LESLIE MONSTER. 368 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,105 AND THIS IS NIGHTLINE. 369 00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,272 - OKAY, I WOULDN'T OPEN WITH THAT. 370 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,440 - NO? 371 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,275 - WHY DON'T WE SIT DOWN. OKAY? - YEP. 372 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:06,346 - LIBERTARIANISM IS ALL ABOUT INDIVIDUAL LIBERTY, 373 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,547 AND IT SHOULD NEVER BE DEFINED 374 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,150 BY THE TERMS "LIBERAL" OR "CONSERVATIVE." 375 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,652 - AND COMMUNISM IS NO GOOD, RIGHT? 376 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,653 - THAT'S RIGHT. 377 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,455 BIG SWING AND A MISS. 378 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,323 - AND WHAT'S THE WORD 379 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,326 FOR WHEN A FEW CLERICS ARE IN CHARGE? 380 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,360 RELIGIOUS OLIGARCHY. 381 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,562 - HOLY [bleep]. [both laugh] 382 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,165 - I CAN REMEMBER THINGS. - I GUESS. 383 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,500 - MM, HEY, KEEP MINE RARE. 384 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:30,904 - A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART. 385 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,508 - I VOMITED SOMEWHERE IN THIS ROOM. 386 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,178 I DON'T REMEMBER WHERE, THOUGH. 387 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,915 WAIT. YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK THAT DRAWER. 388 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,551 STOP... 389 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,219 POOPING. 390 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,388 - YOU HAVE TO GET UP OFF THE FLOOR NOW. 391 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,389 - THIS FLOOR IS MY FRIEND. 392 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,325 - NOTHING LIKE A COMPLETE PHYSICAL BREAKDOWN 393 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:55,128 TO MAKE A GUY SEEM LESS INTIMIDATING. 394 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:56,563 I LOVE THE FLU. 395 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,265 - AND THEN I SAID, "UH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 396 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:02,469 I THINK WE NEED TO GET THESE BANANAS OUT OF HERE." 397 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,971 HAVE A SEAT, BOYS. 398 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,939 - OH, HEY, TOM, GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 399 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,375 UH, YOU HAVE A NICE DAY WITH YOUR SPA BUDDIES? 400 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,077 - ACTUALLY, YES, BEN, I DID. 401 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,544 AND MY SPA BUDDIES OWN 402 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,380 A COUPLE OF CAR DEALERSHIPS IN TOWN, 403 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,215 AND THEY'VE AGREED TO DONATE 404 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,384 A FLEET OF VEHICLES FOR HARVEST FESTIVAL-- 405 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,453 25 VANS FOR THE ENTIRE EVENT. 406 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,555 - OKAY, TOM, I'M READY. GET UP THERE AND INTRODUCE ME. 407 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,124 - YOU GOT IT. 408 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,959 - I CAN'T LET YOU DO THIS, LESLIE. 409 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:28,996 - HEY, THIS AIN'T YOUR CALL, MCCLUSKEY. 410 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:32,399 - HEY, RON, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 411 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,402 - SURE. - IT'S ABOUT APRIL. 412 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,505 - I DON'T LIKE TO GET INVOLVED IN PEOPLE'S PERSONAL-- 413 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:42,009 - I HURT HER FEELINGS, AND NOW SHE'S PISSED AT ME. 414 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,410 I FEEL LIKE IF I COULD JUST EXPLAIN MYSELF, 415 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,413 SHE'D UNDERSTAND, BUT SHE'S AVOIDING ME. 416 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,648 IT'S MAKING ME MISERABLE. 417 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,454 - APRIL'S IN THE HOSPITAL, SICK WITH THE FLU. 418 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,288 - WHAT? 419 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:56,723 I KNEW IT! 420 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,158 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 421 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,093 IS SHE OKAY? - YEAH, SHE'S FINE. 422 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,728 YOU CAN GO VISIT HER TOMORROW MORNING. 423 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,296 BUT DON'T TELL HER I TOLD YOU. 424 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,632 - I WON'T. 425 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,401 NO, NO. NOPE. 426 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,402 COME HERE. - UGH. 427 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,338 - OHHH! 428 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:14,574 - BEFORE WE GET STARTED, A QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT-- 429 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:17,477 EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT IS LADIES' NIGHT 430 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:21,081 DOWN AT THE SNAKEHOLE LOUNGE OVER ON BURNHAM AVENUE. 431 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,383 LADIES GET TWO DRINKS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. 432 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,152 OH, NO, THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. 433 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,554 THAT'S WAY TOO GOOD OF A DEAL. 434 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,456 NOPE. 435 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,324 THAT IS WHAT IT SAYS. 436 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,325 WOW. 437 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,793 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FUN TIME. 438 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,029 ANYWAY, UH, 439 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,530 IT IS NOW MY GREAT HONOR TO WELCOME TO THE STAGE 440 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,500 THE WOMAN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENTIRE HARVEST FESTIVAL. 441 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,669 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LESLIE KNOPE! 442 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:46,139 [applause] 443 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,184 - EVERY ONE OF YOU, 444 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,386 JUST BY SHOWING UP HERE TONIGHT, 445 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,787 HAS ALREADY MADE HISTORY. 446 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,690 IN DAYS PAST, THE HARVEST FESTIVAL 447 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,392 WAS THE CORNERSTONE 448 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,228 OF PAWNEE'S SMALL-BUSINESS COMMUNITY-- 449 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,629 A WEEKLONG SHOWCASE 450 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:13,166 FOR EVERYTHING FROM TEXTILES TO SMALL FARMS. 451 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,402 BY OUR ESTIMATES, AS MANY AS 30,000 PEOPLE 452 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,836 MIGHT ATTEND THE FESTIVAL, 453 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,405 AND THE MONETARY VALUE 454 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,740 OF THAT KIND OF DIRECT CUSTOMER-TO-BUSINESS EXPOSURE 455 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,410 IS, FRANKLY, INCALCULABLE. 456 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,347 - WHAT? 457 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,082 - THREE, TWO, ONE. 458 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,350 AND MY SHIFT'S OVER. 459 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,319 WHAT THE [bleep] IS YOUR PROBLEM? 460 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,187 - WHOA, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GONNA LOSE IT. 461 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,323 - WHILE I WAS ON DUTY, I DIDN'T. NOW IT'S JUST ME. 462 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,558 I GET THAT YOU'RE MAD THAT I KISSED ANDY, OKAY? 463 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,160 BUT IT WAS A MOMENT OF CONFUSION, 464 00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,394 AND IT WAS A MISTAKE. 465 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,096 AND I'M VERY SORRY. 466 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,297 YOU WANT TO HATE ME FOREVER? 467 00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:45,765 - OKAY. - FINE! 468 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,334 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T CARE. 469 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,501 BUT YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE IT OUT ON ANDY, 470 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,271 BECAUSE HE REALLY LIKES YOU, AND HE DID NOTHING WRONG. 471 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,441 AND JUST FOR THE RECORD, I'M STARTING TO HATE YOU TOO. 472 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,879 - THAT'S THE MOST I'VE EVER LIKED ANN. 473 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,182 - THE TIME IS NOW. 474 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,317 THE PLACE IS PAWNEE. 475 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,419 LET'S MAKE HISTORY. 476 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,488 [cheers and applause] 477 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,124 - THAT WAS AMAZING. 478 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:12,559 THAT WAS A FLU-RIDDEN MICHAEL JORDAN 479 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,761 AT THE '97 NBA FINALS. 480 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,396 THAT WAS... 481 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,398 KIRK GIBSON HOBBLING UP TO THE PLATE 482 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,766 AND HITTING A HOMER OFF OF DENNIS ECKERSLEY. 483 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:22,902 THAT WAS... 484 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,638 THAT WAS LESLIE KNOPE. 485 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,907 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. ANY QUESTIONS? 486 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,642 YES, SIR? 487 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:32,312 - ARE WE GOING TO GET THE SAME SALES-TAX INCENTIVES 488 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,446 WE USED TO? 489 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,348 - THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION, SIR, 490 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:38,418 AND I WOULD COUNTER WITH MY OWN QUESTION, WHICH IS, 491 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,188 WHY IS HALF OF YOUR FACE ALL SWIRLY? 492 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,522 - OKAY, UM, UNFORTUNATELY, 493 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,558 LESLIE HAS ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT MEETING RIGHT NOW. 494 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:47,260 SO IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS, 495 00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,828 YOU CAN JUST DIRECT THEM, UH, TOWARDS ME. 496 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:49,729 - GIVE IT UP, EVERYBODY, 497 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,798 FOR SCOTT BAKULA FROM QUANTUM LEAP. 498 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,434 - ALL RIGHT. OKAY, LET'S-- 499 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,303 - EXCUSE ME. 500 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,705 - UM, AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, SIR, 501 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,607 THERE WILL BE SALES-TAX INCENTIVES THIS YEAR. 502 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,309 - I THINK I SHOULD DRIVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL. 503 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,776 - WAS I WEARING A TIARA WHEN I CAME IN HERE? 504 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,312 BECAUSE IF YOU HAPPEN UPON IT, 505 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,913 WILL YOU HAVE LADY PENNYFACE RETRIEVE IT 506 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,315 AND SEND IT POSTHENCE? 507 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,449 - CHOCOLATE-COVERED POPCORN. 508 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,285 [knocking at door] 509 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,387 - OH, HEY. - HEY, THERE. 510 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,423 I GOT YOU, UH, SOME WAFFLES HERE, 511 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,491 COURTESY OF JJ'S DINER, 512 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,293 AND CHICKEN SOUP, COURTESY OF ME. 513 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,229 - I'LL TAKE THE WAFFLES. - OKAY. 514 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,431 - THANK YOU. 515 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,299 SO HOW DID THE REST OF THE MEETING GO? 516 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:29,236 - UM, WELL, YOU SAID YOU NEEDED 517 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,670 80 TOTAL BUSINESSES TO PARTICIPATE. 518 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,472 - YEAH. 519 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,406 - WE HAVE 110... 520 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,774 AND COUNTING. 521 00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:37,344 SO, UH, NICE WORK, LESLIE. 522 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,379 - NICE WORK TO YOU TOO. - OH. 523 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,448 UH, LEFT THE CHICKEN SOUP THERE, JUST IN CASE. 524 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,716 IT'S AN OLD FAMILY RECIPE. 525 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,486 IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, BUT... 526 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,488 - THANK YOU FOR THAT. - OKAY. 527 00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,327 - HI, APRIL. 528 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,429 [whispering] IT'S ME, ANDY. 529 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,698 JUST STAY SLEEPING. 530 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:02,502 I AM GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU WAKE UP. 531 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,637 I WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR SIDE. 532 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:13,913 YOU COULD BE ASLEEP FOR HOURS. MAYBE I'LL COME BACK LATER. 533 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,349 HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER. OKAY. 534 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,585 OH, AND I KNOW YOU THINK THAT I'M A JERK, 535 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:21,521 BUT I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME. 536 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,593 GROSS. YOUR FOREHEAD IS ALL SWEATY. 537 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,428 THAT'S GROSS. 538 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,299 BUT I STILL LIKE YOU. 539 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,366 OKAY. 540 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,402 OH, THAT'S DISGUSTING. 541 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:44,677 - GOT YOUR MESSAGE. WHAT'S UP? 542 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,446 - I GOT A CALL FROM THE BOYS UPSTAIRS. 543 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,348 AND THEY HAVE A NEW ASSIGNMENT FOR US. 544 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,616 - OKAY. - YEAH. 545 00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,952 AND I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD ASK FOR AN EXTENSION TO STAY HERE. 546 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,987 - YES, DEFINITELY. YOU KNOW... 547 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,656 THE FESTIVAL THING'S GETTING PRETTY HUGE, 548 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,359 AND, UH, COUPLE LOOSE ENDS THAT NEED TYING UP. 549 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,561 - GOOD, SO I'LL MAKE THE CALL, THEN, TO GET THE EXTENSION? 550 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,430 - YEAH, THEY NEED OUR HELP. - FOR THE LOOSE ENDS. 551 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,364 - GREAT. - GOOD. 552 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,333 - OKAY, YOU NEED A RIDE BACK TO THE OFFICE? 553 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:07,667 - NO, NO, I'M GONNA GO FOR A LIGHT 15K. 554 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,035 I MISSED YESTERDAY. 555 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:12,572 WAY TO GO, BUDDY. WAY TO GO.