1 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:06,107 - OKAY, OPEN THIS ONE. HERE, I'LL HELP YOU. 2 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,809 - WHOA! DOCUMENTS. 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:09,777 - YES. 4 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,645 THIS IS YOUR ORIGINAL INTERN APPLICATION, 5 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:12,646 YOUR ORIGINAL PARKING PASS. 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,482 THIS IS YOUR ORIGINAL PHOTO I.D. 7 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,749 - DID YOU GET THAT OUT OF MY PURSE? 8 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,285 - DOESN'T MATTER. 9 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,786 AND THIS IS A COPY OF YOUR VERY FIRST PAYCHECK. 10 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,054 - WHO'S THAT FROM? 11 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,622 - ME. IT'S FROM ME. 12 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:22,656 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 13 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,192 - THANK YOU, LESLIE. 14 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,659 - OPEN MINE. - IT IS. IT'S NICE. 15 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,661 I MEAN, IT CAN BE A LITTLE SAPPY AND SENTIMENTAL 16 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,597 TO KIND OF FRAME THINGS, BUT IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO REMEMBER 17 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,166 THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, THE START. 18 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,834 AND WHEN YOU-- - AH! 19 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,604 - RON, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 20 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,106 - SHE'S AN ADULT NOW. 21 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,740 SHE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO RESPONSIBLY HANDLE 22 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,275 AND DISCHARGE A WEAPON. 23 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:45,646 THAT THERE IS A SIG SAUER .22-CALIBER MOSQUITO, 24 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,549 MANUFACTURED IN SWITZERLAND FOR THEIR PUSSY POLICE FORCE. 25 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,518 THIS TWO-TONED, LIGHTWEIGHT MODEL 26 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,454 IS PERFECT FOR A SKINNY, LITTLE THING LIKE YOU. 27 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,590 - GEE, THANKS, RON. 28 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,160 - I WILL HOLD ON TO THIS FOR YOU 29 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,761 UNTIL WE GET YOU LICENSED UP, 30 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:04,132 AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOU FOR SOME TARGET PRACTICE. 31 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,200 - GOODY. 32 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:09,437 - YEAH, I DO FEEL A LITTLE GUILTY. 33 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,539 I'M RE-GIFTING. 34 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,540 - OH, THAT'S GREAT. 35 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,108 I'D LOVE TO HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR FAMILY VACATION. 36 00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,443 - HEY. - OH, THANK GOD. 37 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,345 GET OUT, KYLE. 38 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:21,249 HELLO, BIRTHDAY GIRL. 39 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,250 HA! 40 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,517 DID YOU LIKE THAT? - YES. 41 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,520 - THAT HIGH FIVE WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT. 42 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,556 JUST KIDDING. [laughs] THAT WASN'T IT. 43 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,524 I GOT YOU SOMETHING ELSE. 44 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:31,625 I WROTE YOU A SONG. 45 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,294 - REALLY? - YEAH. 46 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,229 YEAH. - WHAT'S IT CALLED? 47 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,630 - I'M NOT TELLING, BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE. 48 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,532 IT'S NAMED AFTER A MONTH OUT OF THE YEAR. 49 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,700 - SO APRIL? 50 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,136 - NO. 51 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,537 THAT WOULD'VE BEEN WAY BETTER. 52 00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:44,472 - [scoffs] - UM... 53 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,607 WELL, WHATEVER. I CAN REWRITE THE LYRICS. 54 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,642 - UM, ARE YOU COMING TO MY PARTY? 55 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,444 - YEAH. I WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD. 56 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,446 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - OKAY, COOL. 57 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,182 - OKAY. - UM, WELL... 58 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:55,516 WE'LL HANG OUT THEN. 59 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:56,550 - OKAY. 60 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:57,618 - IT'S GONNA BE FUN. 61 00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,588 YES, I AM 21 YEARS OLD TODAY... 62 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,591 WHICH IS THE AGE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE AGREES 63 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,626 MAKES YOU AN ADULT. 64 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,727 [breathes deeply] 65 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,563 [triumphant music] 66 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:17,605 * 67 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:37,825 - "IN THE WORDS 68 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,594 "OF THE GREAT 19TH-CENTURY OUTDOORSMAN JACK LONDON, 69 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,530 "'YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR INSPIRATION. 70 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,665 "YOU HAVE TO GO AFTER IT WITH A CLUB.' 71 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,933 "WITH THOSE WORDS RINGING IN OUR EARS, 72 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:48,469 "WE PROUDLY PRESENT OUR PLANS FOR A NEW PARK 73 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,703 ON MUNICIPAL LOT 48." 74 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,405 - THAT'S GOOD. 75 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:52,473 - I KNOW. 76 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,775 THE YEARLY BUDGET AND PLANNING PROPOSAL FOR A CITY 77 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,611 IS CALLED THE "MASTER PLAN." 78 00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,581 AH, ISN'T THAT JUST SO AWESOME YOU CAN'T STAND IT? 79 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,916 IT'S MOSTLY FILLED WITH BORING, BUREAUCRATIC LANGUAGE, 80 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:05,553 SO I TRY TO SPICE IT UP A LITTLE. 81 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,789 "SO I SAY THE FUNCTION OF MAN IS TO LIVE, NOT TO EXIST. 82 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,492 "I WOULD RATHER THAT MY SPARK SHOULD BURN OUT 83 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,393 "IN A BRILLIANT BLAZE 84 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,928 THAN IT SHOULD BE STIFLED BY DRY ROT." 85 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,730 - [gasps] YOU WROTE THAT? 86 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:17,931 - JACK LONDON, AGAIN. 87 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,567 IS THERE TOO MANY JACK LONDON QUOTES? 88 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,501 - NO, NO. 89 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,470 - YEAH, I MEAN, YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH. 90 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,473 - THAT IS EASILY THE MOST EXCITING BUDGET PROPOSAL 91 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,674 I'VE EVER HEARD. 92 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,941 - WELL, I'M PRESENTING IT TODAY. 93 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:31,445 AND IF IT FLIES, WE ARE GONNA GET OUR MONEY TO BUILD A PARK. 94 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:34,382 I MEAN, IT ONLY TOOK US 15 MONTHS TO DO THIS. 95 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,317 - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. - WOULD'VE TAKEN 13 MONTHS 96 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,586 IF YOU HAD AGREED TO WORK ON THE WEEKENDS, BUT STILL, 97 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,620 IT'S GREAT. 98 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,389 - IT'S AMAZING. - [laughs] 99 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,356 WELL, THE MEETING'S AT 10:00. 100 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,791 COME OVER TO MY OFFICE FOR CHAMPAGNE AFTER. 101 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,427 - I DON'T THINK I SHOULD DO THAT. 102 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,795 - OH, RIGHT. MARK. 103 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,930 OH. AWKWARD. - [chuckles] 104 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,666 I ENDED THINGS WITH MARK A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, 105 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,635 AND... 106 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,437 I'M NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT. 107 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,773 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. 108 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:03,444 DO NOT MISS TONIGHT'S APRIL LUDGATE BIRTHDAY BASH. 109 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:07,881 9:00 P.M. AT THE WORLD-FAMOUS SNAKEHOLE LOUNGE-- 110 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,917 THE PLACE THE PAWNEE JOURNAL HAS CALLED 111 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,820 THE SEXIEST, MOST DANGEROUS CLUB IN TOWN. 112 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,855 - THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY WROTE. - FINE. 113 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,424 I ADDED THE WORD "SEXIEST," 114 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,725 BUT WE'VE HIRED BETTER SECURITY. 115 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,561 YES, I AM A GOOD FRIEND FOR THROWING THE PARTY. 116 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,364 I'M ALSO A GENIUS, BECAUSE I'M USING THE OCCASION 117 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,899 TO STOCK THE CLUB WITH EVERY AVAILABLE HOTTIE I KNOW. 118 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,668 CALL ME A ROMANTIC, 119 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,303 BUT I BELIEVE BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, 120 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:32,406 I WILL HAVE BETWEEN ONE AND FOUR NEW GIRLFRIENDS. 121 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,976 - OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE OUR LITTLE GIRL'S ALL GROWN UP. 122 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,646 OH, DAMN THE WHEEL OF THE WORLD. 123 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,615 WHY MUST IT CONTINUALLY TURN OVER? 124 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:42,650 - JACK LONDON. 125 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,784 - YEAH. - NICE. 126 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,319 - OKAY, LET'S GO, BOSS. 127 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,655 WE HAVE A MEETING TO GO TO. - YAY. 128 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,090 ONCE A YEAR, EVERY BRANCH OF THIS GOVERNMENT 129 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,625 MEETS IN A ROOM AND ANNOUNCES 130 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:55,663 WHAT THEY INTEND TO WASTE TAXPAYER MONEY ON. 131 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,666 FOR A LIBERTARIAN SUCH AS MYSELF, 132 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,701 IT'S PHILOSOPHICALLY HORRIFYING. 133 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,337 THEY ALSO REALLY CHEAP OUT ON THE SNACKS. 134 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,606 HYDRAX COOKIES? 135 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,809 DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS AN OFF-BRAND HYDROX? 136 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,645 I DID NOT. 137 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,013 THEY'RE NOT BAD. 138 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,682 - GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY. 139 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,851 NOW, I KNOW YOU ALL HAVE YOUR BUDGET PRESENTATIONS READY, 140 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,953 BUT THERE'S A CHANGE OF PLANS. 141 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,623 DUE TO THE CRIPPLING GRIDLOCK IN CITY COUNSEL, 142 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,691 WE ARE POSTPONING 143 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,694 ALL PLANNING AND SPENDING DECISIONS INDEFINITELY. 144 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,596 - UM, UNTIL WHEN? 145 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:29,597 - INDEFINITELY. 146 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,732 - AND WHEN WILL THAT END? - LATER THAN NOW. 147 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,133 - SO THIS WEEK PROBABLY? 148 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,404 - LOOK, WE ARE BORDERING ON A FULL-BLOWN CRISIS, LESLIE. 149 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,639 THE STATE GOVERNMENT IS SENDING A TEAM 150 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,641 FROM INDIANAPOLIS TO TRY TO SOLVE 151 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,775 THIS BUDGET PROBLEM. 152 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:44,645 - "IN THE EVENT THE MASTER PLAN MEETING IS CUT SHORT, 153 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,146 "IN THE EVENT I HAVE LARYNGITIS 154 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,815 "AND I CAN'T PRESENT THE MASTER PLAN, 155 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,684 IN THE EVENT THE MASTER PLAN MEETING IS MOVED ONTO A BOAT..." 156 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,153 LOOK, I'M PREPARED FOR EVERY SITUATION... 157 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,889 EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WHERE THERE'S NO MASTER PLAN. 158 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,658 [book thuds loudly] - JUST CALM DOWN. 159 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,427 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GONNA DO. 160 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,794 - RON, THEY'RE STATE AUDITORS. 161 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,763 THEY'RE NOT GONNA COME AND PAT US ON THE BACK. 162 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,432 THEY'RE HERE TO SLASH AND BURN. 163 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,933 - WELL, I'D BE FINE WITH THAT. 164 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,502 THIS GOVERNMENT IS DISEASED. 165 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,971 IT'S LIKE A BIG, FAT, ANGRY SLOB 166 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,641 SPENDING MONEY IT DOESN'T HAVE ON CRAP IT DOESN'T NEED. 167 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:14,508 MMM, MMM, MMM. 168 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,144 ME WANT MORE POINTLESS SOCIAL PROGRAMS. 169 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,612 YUMMY, YUMMY, YUM. 170 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:19,780 - THAT'S WHAT GOVERNMENT DOES, RON. 171 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,148 IT PROVIDES SERVICES. 172 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,684 THEY'RE GONNA TRY TO ELIMINATE EVERYTHING WE DO. 173 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,952 WE GOTTA FIGHT THESE GUYS. 174 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,820 - THEY'VE BEEN SENT BY THE GOVERNOR. 175 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,689 THEY OUTRANK EVERYONE. 176 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,658 THERE'S NO FIGHT TO BE HAD HERE. 177 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,426 - YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT-- I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT THEM, 178 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:33,661 EXCEPT THAT I AM! 179 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,162 - OKAY. 180 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,897 LESLIE... 181 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:40,000 WHAT DO WE DO WHEN WE GET THIS ANGRY? 182 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,102 - WE COUNT BACKWARDS FROM 1,000 BY 7s, 183 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,604 AND WE THINK OF WARM BROWNIES. 184 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,573 GO DO THAT IN YOUR OFFICE. 185 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,840 - GO DO IT IN YOUR OFFICE. 186 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,642 - AND WE'LL WAIT FOR THESE GUYS TO SHOW UP. 187 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,111 - I'LL WAIT FOR YOU TO SHOW UP. 188 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,647 - YOU DON'T NEED TO BRING ANYTHING BUT YOUR GORGEOUS BODY. 189 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:56,650 AND GET THIS--COVER CHARGE IS NORMALLY $15. 190 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:59,653 SAY MY NAME AT THE DOOR, IT'S $13.50. 191 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,189 ANDY! 192 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,057 YOU COMING OUT TONIGHT, PART OWNER OF THE CLUB? 193 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,593 - [chuckles] UH, YES. 194 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,060 LET ME ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION. 195 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,596 WHAT'S THE YOUNGEST A GIRL CAN BE 196 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,831 THAT IF, UH, WE GO OUT, I'M NOT A TOTAL SCUMBAG? 197 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,666 - YOU KNOW THE OLD RULE. 198 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:13,934 HALF YOUR AGE, PLUS SEVEN. 199 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,204 - HALF MY AGE PLUS SEVEN. OH, OKAY. 200 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,773 WELL, I'M 29 SO HALF OF... 201 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:23,477 29...ADD SEVEN, 202 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:27,781 THAT'S ONLY 20...IS-- 203 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,150 - 21... - 20 YEARS OLD. 204 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,585 - 21. - AND A HALF. 205 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:32,620 - 21 YEARS OLD AND A HALF. 206 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,754 - YEP. - YEP. 207 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,524 WE GOT THE SAME THING WITH THE EQUATION ON THAT ONE. 208 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,658 HERE'S THE THING. 209 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,527 WHAT IF SHE'S SLIGHTLY YOUNGER? 210 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,928 CAN I GO OUT WITH SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN THAT? 211 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,763 - PLEASE! YOU TOTALLY CAN. 212 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,097 - YEAH. 213 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,668 TOM SAYS IT'S OKAY. 214 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:50,671 THAT PROBABLY MEANS IT ISN'T OKAY. 215 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:54,241 - THANK YOU FOR MEETING WITH ME AGAIN. 216 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,777 I DON'T EVEN KNOW REALLY WHAT I WANT TO SAY. 217 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,145 BUT I GUESS I JUST DON'T GET IT. 218 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,247 YOU KNOW, OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS SO GREAT. 219 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,617 - MARK, HONESTLY, IT WAS REALLY NICE. 220 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:06,654 BUT MAYBE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SO AMAZING 221 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,956 BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER DATED SOMEONE FOR SO LONG BEFORE. 222 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,059 - WELL, BUT, FOR EXAMPLE, WE BARELY EVER FOUGHT. 223 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,961 - THAT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN. 224 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,597 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT... SOMETIMES. 225 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:20,300 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MISS THE OTHER PERSON, 226 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,903 EVEN IF THEY'RE ONLY GONE FOR 20 MINUTES. 227 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,838 AND I JUST DIDN'T FEEL THAT. 228 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,106 DID YOU? 229 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,710 - MAN, I, UH... 230 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:33,146 I SHOULD'VE YELLED AT YOU WAY MORE. 231 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,248 - WELL, PAUL JUST CALLED. 232 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,150 THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY. 233 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,586 - OH, GOD, THEY'RE GONNA FIRE PEOPLE, AREN'T THEY? 234 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,688 YEAH, I AM TWO YEARS FROM MY PENSION. 235 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:41,755 RELAX, JERRY. WE DON'T KNOW THAT. 236 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:44,625 MAYBE THESE PEOPLE ARE VERY HELPFUL AND PLEASANT-- 237 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,694 - HELLO. - HA! DEATH! 238 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,663 - DIVORCE FILINGS? - FOURTH FLOOR. 239 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,732 - HELLO, HELLO? - OH. 240 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,734 - HEY, HOW ARE YOU? HELLO, THERE. 241 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,735 - HI. 242 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,670 - CHRIS TRAEGER. THIS IS BEN. 243 00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:57,771 - HELLO, GENTS. RON SWANSON. 244 00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:01,709 - RON...SWANSON. 245 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,043 - OKAY. 246 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,612 - I'M DEPUTY DIRECTOR, LESLIE KNOPE. 247 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:08,115 - LESLIE...KNOPE. 248 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,282 IT IS FANTASTIC TO BE HERE. 249 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:10,651 - WOULD YOU GENTLEMEN LIKE A TOUR? 250 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:11,585 - OH, THERE IS QUITE LITERALLY 251 00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,086 NOTHING I WOULD RATHER HAVE IN THE WORLD 252 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,222 THAN A TOUR OF THE PARKS AND RECREATION DEPARTMENT 253 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:19,159 OF THE GREAT CITY OF PAWNEE LED BY RON SWANSON... 254 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,728 AND LESLIE KNOPE. 255 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,062 - OKAY. - BEN? 256 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,631 - I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 257 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:24,832 - LET'S DO IT. - OKAY. 258 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,034 CHRIS IS THE MOST POSITIVE STATE BUDGET AUDITING CONSULTANT 259 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,335 I'VE EVER MET. 260 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,871 I MEAN, I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM, 261 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,840 AND IT WAS LIKE... 262 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,975 STARING INTO THE SUN. 263 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:38,145 - PEOPLE, WE ARE HERE FROM THE STATE BUDGET OFFICE 264 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,680 FROM INDIANAPOLIS. 265 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,381 OOH, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 266 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,718 WELL, SIMPLY, WE ARE HERE TO TINKER WITH YOUR BUDGET. 267 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:48,055 THINK OF THE GOVERNMENT AS A BROKEN DOWN CAROUSEL. 268 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,057 WE'RE GONNA SLAP ON A NEW COAT OF PAINT, 269 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,259 WE'RE GONNA FIX THAT BROKEN SPEAKER SYSTEM, 270 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,661 AND WE ARE GONNA GET THOSE HAPPY KIDS 271 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,296 BACK UP ON THE HORSES WHERE THEY BELONG. 272 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,665 OKAY? 273 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,299 - YEAH. 274 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,734 - OKAY? 275 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,202 [all exclaim in agreement] 276 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,436 THERE IT IS. 277 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,405 MY, UH, PARTNER BEN IS GONNA STICK AROUND FOR A LITTLE BIT. 278 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,041 AND I WILL SEE YOU ALL LATER. 279 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,778 ADIOS. - DO YOU HAVE A SECOND? 280 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,652 - I REALLY LIKE YOUR SHIRT. 281 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,120 - SO I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT 282 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,656 WHERE YOU THINK THERE'S WASTE WITHIN YOUR DEPARTMENT. 283 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:23,490 [both snort] 284 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,093 - THERE IS NONE. - WHERE DO I START? 285 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,896 WHAT EXACTLY WILL YOU BE CUTTING? 286 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,297 AND HOW MUCH OF IT, 287 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,767 AND CAN I WATCH YOU DO IT WHILE EATING PORK CRACKLINS? 288 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,736 - OKAY, LET'S START WITH PERSONNEL. 289 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,672 WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT JERRY GERGICH? 290 00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:41,108 - HE IS ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. 291 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,776 HE'S UNIVERSALLY ADORED HERE. 292 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,779 IF YOU FIRED HIM, THERE WOULD BE A REVOLT. 293 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,947 - OKAY, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND 294 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,782 THAT JUST TO KEEP THIS TOWN AFLOAT, 295 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,684 WE PROBABLY HAVE TO CUT THE BUDGET 296 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:53,721 OF EVERY DEPARTMENT BY 40% OR 50%, OKAY? 297 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,189 - WELL, BUT CHRIS SAID THAT YOU JUST HAD TO, 298 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:58,125 YOU KNOW, TINKER WITH THINGS. 299 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,761 - YEAH, HE SAID THAT BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS A LOT BETTER THAN, 300 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,129 "WE'RE GOING TO GUT IT WITH A MACHETE." 301 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,365 OKAY? - [laughing] 302 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,003 - YOU'RE A JERK. - I'M SORRY? 303 00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,371 - EASY. 304 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,906 - I'M SORRY, THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE IN A REAL TOWN, 305 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,842 WORKING IN A REAL BUILDING WITH REAL FEELINGS. 306 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,745 - THIS BUILDING HAS FEELINGS? - MAYBE. 307 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,980 THERE'S A LOT OF HISTORY IN THIS ONE--MAYBE IT DOES. 308 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,348 HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLASE ABOUT IT? 309 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,116 - BECAUSE I DIDN'T CAUSE THESE PROBLEMS, MISS KNOPE. 310 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,718 YOUR GOVERNMENT DID. 311 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,887 I'LL GET WHAT I NEED FROM THE SPREADSHEETS. 312 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,155 THANKS. 313 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,227 - WHAT'S A NOT-GAY WAY TO ASK HIM 314 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,263 TO GO CAMPING WITH ME? 315 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,332 - JEAN-RALPHIO. - LOOKIN' HOT, BIG T. 316 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,135 both: * THROW THEM BONES 317 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,303 - WHAT? 318 00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,938 DAMN, GIRL, WHO YOU TRYIN' TO IMPRESS? 319 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,306 JUST KIDDING, I KNOW. 320 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,909 - WALK AWAY. - YEAH, YOU GOT IT. 321 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,213 DONNA. 322 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,148 - JEAN-RALPHIO. - YEAH. 323 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:57,184 - GOT YOU A BIRTHDAY SHOT. - OH, THANKS. 324 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,187 BUT NOW THAT IT'S LEGAL, I'VE KIND OF LOST INTEREST. 325 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,222 - SUIT YOURSELF. 326 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:10,330 - SO I GUESS OUR AWESOME NEW PARK IS ON HOLD. 327 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,099 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THEY'RE GONNA CUT? 328 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,200 - NOPE. 329 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,401 - [sighs] 330 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,503 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU SHOULDN'T WAIT AROUND. 331 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,338 YOU SHOULD COME UP WITH YOUR OWN BUDGET PLAN 332 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,307 AND JUST CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY. 333 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:24,044 - YEAH, I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I CAN PLAY GOD LIKE THAT-- 334 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,513 AN ANGRY, VENGEFUL GOD WHO JUST... 335 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,817 FIRES JERRY FOR NO REASON. 336 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,052 - YOU'D FIRE JERRY? - NOT NECESSARILY. 337 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,254 I DON'T KNOW, IT'S JUST BEEN A REALLY CRAPPY DAY. 338 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,289 WHERE WERE YOU EARLIER WHEN I CALLED? 339 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,125 - [sighs] TALKING TO MARK. 340 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,860 - AGAIN? - YEAH. 341 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,029 IT HAS BEEN A ROUGH WEEK. 342 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,465 - YOU WANT TO GET SUPER DRUNK? - I REALLY DO. 343 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,301 - YEAH, WHERE'S OUR LADY? HEY. - HEY. 344 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,171 - I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW, I WAS INSTRUMENTAL 345 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,940 IN GETTING TRISH CROWNED MISS PAWNEE. 346 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,107 WHAT WAS YOUR TALENT AGAIN? 347 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,576 OH, YEAH. LOOKING AMAZING. 348 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,813 [laughter] 349 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,382 HEY, LADIES, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU DESIRE AT ALL BESIDES ME? 350 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,251 [girls laugh] 351 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,320 - SO FUNNY-- YOU ARE SO FUNNY. 352 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,589 - I-I'M SERIOUS, THOUGH. 353 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,091 UM, ARE YOU INTO ME? 354 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,425 - WHAT? 355 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,528 [hip-hop music] 356 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:19,332 - OH! - [laughs loudly] 357 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:22,135 CHUG THAT BITCH! - OH, RULES ARE RULES. 358 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,536 - NO, ANN, LISTEN TO ME. 359 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,238 LISTEN TO ME, ANN. 360 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,940 I KNOW I HAD A MASTER PLAN, 361 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,376 AND IT ALL BLEW UP IN MY FACE, BUT YOU... 362 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,244 YOU CAME INTO A TOWN HALL MEETING, 363 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,380 AND WE MET, AND WE BECAME FRIENDS, AND THAT IS AWESOME. 364 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,349 - IT IS SO AWESOME. YOU ARE SO AWESOME. 365 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,885 I LOVE YOU. - I LOVE YOU TOO. 366 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,119 BUT I NEED MORE BEER. 367 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,353 - OH, I'M GONNA GET YOU MORE BEER. 368 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:41,354 - YAY! - YAY! 369 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,124 - BEST FRIENDS OF EVER. 370 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,227 [gasps] 371 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,896 - * SHORTY, SHOW 'EM WHAT I MEAN * 372 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,230 * WHAT I MEAN, GIRL 373 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:54,301 - HEY, APRIL. OH, MY GOSH. 374 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,168 YOU LOOK AMAZING. 375 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,269 - OH. - LET ME SEE. 376 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,537 - NO. - DO A TWIRL. 377 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:58,538 - NO. - THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 378 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,473 - NO, DON'T LOOK AT ME. 379 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,010 NO, LOOK. LOOK AT ME. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 380 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,177 - THANK YOU. 381 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,246 - UH, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK? OR--WAIT. 382 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,284 YEAH, I CAN SWING IT. CAN I GET YOU A DRINK? 383 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,320 - WHISKEY, NEAT. 384 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,322 - WOW, YOU'RE NOT MESSING AROUND. 385 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,991 - NO, I'M NOT. 386 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:22,195 * 387 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,163 - BARKEEP. 388 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,266 - ANDY DWYER, IT IS SO AWESOME TO SEE YOU. 389 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,135 - HEY, YOU TOO. HOW ARE YOU? 390 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:31,271 - LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. WAS I A GOOD GIRLFRIEND? 391 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,640 - ANN, YOU WERE AN AWESOME GIRLFRIEND. 392 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,375 - REALLY? - YEAH. 393 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,145 - AW. - YEAH. 394 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,580 I MEAN, I WAS THE SCREWUP. - YEAH, YOU WERE. 395 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:41,915 - [laughs nervously] 396 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,183 - WE HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, RIGHT? 397 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,018 - GOD, I THINK SO. 398 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:48,321 I MEAN, WE FOUGHT A LOT. - I KNOW. I KNOW. 399 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,490 I KNOW THAT. LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 400 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,359 - MM-HMM. - I'M HOT. 401 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,593 - IS THAT A QUESTION? 402 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,063 - UM, WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER-- I CAN'T SEE YOU. 403 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,164 - [laughing] HERE. 404 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,331 - WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER... - OH, YES. 405 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,467 - WERE THERE TIMES THAT YOU WERE LIKE, 406 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,236 "IF I DON'T SEE ANN IN, LIKE, TEN SECONDS, 407 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,371 I'M GONNA DIE"? 408 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,940 - YES, ALL THE TIME. 409 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,208 - I LOVED ANDY, 410 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,709 LOVED HIM. 411 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,344 LOVED ANDY. 412 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:14,681 HE WAS A TOTALLY HELPLESS BABY WHEN WE MET. 413 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,549 I DATED HIM FOR THREE YEARS. 414 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:20,220 NOW HE'S AN ADULT WITH A JOB. 415 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,556 AND SOME OTHER GIRL IS GONNA REAP THE REWARDS 416 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,260 OF MY HARD WORK? 417 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,196 THAT'S BULL[bleep]. 418 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,269 - AND I'M READING THIS, AND I'M LIKE, 419 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:39,039 "HOW COULD THEY HURT THOSE GORILLAS LIKE THAT?" 420 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:42,575 THEY'RE SUCH GENTLE, MAGNIFICENT CREATURES, YOU KNOW? 421 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,377 I'M AN ANIMAL LOVER. I DON'T KNOW. 422 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:48,115 HEY, I, UM, WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS BOTTLE CAP, 423 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,284 SO YOU'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER ME AND THE FIRST TIME WE MET. 424 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,088 CLASSIC GAME-- PLANT THE SEED, 425 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,756 HARVEST, LIKE, A HALF HOUR LATER. 426 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,393 - HERE YOU GO. SORRY THAT TOOK FOREVER. 427 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,095 GOD. 428 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:05,565 - HEY, BABY, YOU MISS ME? 'CAUSE I MISSED YOU. 429 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:06,733 OH, LOOK AT THIS. JEAN-RALPHIO. 430 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,268 - OH, HEY. ANDY. 431 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,602 - ANDY-- THAT'S AN ALL RIGHT NAME. 432 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,737 THAT'S AN ALL RIGHT NAME. 433 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,339 - THANK YOU. - YEAH. 434 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:16,076 - ARE YOU GUYS--ARE YOU GUYS HANGING OUT TOGETHER? 435 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,277 - YEAH, UH, MAYBE. 436 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,678 YOU KNOW, HE ASKED ME OUT SO MANY TIMES, 437 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,213 I GUESS HE WORE ME DOWN. 438 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,149 - [chuckles] I'M VERY PERSISTENT. 439 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,150 COME OVER HERE. COME OVER HERE. 440 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,784 - I CAN HEAR YOU. I CAN-- - COME OVER HERE. 441 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,519 ONE TIME, I WAITED OUTSIDE A WOMAN'S HOUSE 442 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,256 FOR FIVE DAYS JUST TO SHOW HER HOW SERIOUS I WAS 443 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,590 ABOUT WANTING TO DRILL HER. 444 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,126 TURNS OUT, IT WAS THE WRONG HOUSE. 445 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,294 SHE LOVED THE STORY ANYWAY. 446 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,562 WE GOT TO THIRD BASE, OVER THE PANTS. 447 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,630 - THAT'S SO CUTE. - YEAH, SUPER CUTE. 448 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,166 - WOW. - RIGHT? 449 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,101 DO YOU WANT A REMY MARTIN? - PROBABLY GOOD. 450 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,135 - OKAY, I'LL GET YOU ONE. 451 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,271 TWO REMY MARTINS-- HERE WE GO! 452 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,576 - YOU CAN HAVE MY REMY MARTIN FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY. 453 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,147 I THOUGHT SHE LIKED ME. 454 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:57,184 I GUESS I'M SUPER BAD AT PICKING UP SIGNALS. 455 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,255 BUT THAT RALPH MACCHIO GUY'S A TOTAL DOUCHE. 456 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:05,358 - DID I GIVE YOU A BOTTLE CAP? 457 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,527 EXCUSE ME. DID I GIVE YOU A BOTTLE CAP? 458 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,329 - WHAT? - UGH! 459 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,199 DID I GIVE ANY OF YOU GUYS A BOTTLE CAP? 460 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:15,268 YOU SURE? 461 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,736 WHO THE [bleep] DID I GIVE A BOTTLE CAP TO? 462 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,705 - * FAST MONEY, FAST CARS 463 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,308 * FAST WOMEN - * THAT'S HOW I'M LIVIN' 464 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,842 - * FAST MONEY, FAST CARS 465 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,811 * FAST WOMEN - * THAT'S HOW I'M LIVIN' 466 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,314 - THIS PARTY SUCKS. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 467 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,182 - IT'S MY BIRTHDAY PARTY. - IT IS? 468 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:31,851 - YES. - I'M SORRY, BOO. 469 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,454 - I'M NOT SAYING WE'RE THE BEST BAND IN THE UNIVERSE, 470 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,556 BUT WE ARE, I WOULD SAY, HONESTLY, 471 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,724 THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD. 472 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,259 - I SHOULD WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT YOU-- 473 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,427 ANOTHER ARTICLE ABOUT YOU. 474 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,595 - [chuckles] 475 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,197 YEAH, OKAY. 476 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,433 HEY, CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? 477 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,101 - SURE. - YEAH? 478 00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,202 DO YOU HAVE A TAB I COULD PUT IT ON? 479 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,203 WAIT, HOW OLD ARE YOU? 480 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,239 - 25. 481 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,344 - MARK! 482 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,845 BRENDANAWICZ, HEY. 483 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,613 WHAT'S 25 DIVIDED 2 PLUS 7? 484 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,449 - 19 1/2. 485 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,851 - OKAY, I'M OLDER THAN THAT. 486 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:05,885 WE'RE GOOD TO GO. 487 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,189 HEY, THIS IS MY DEAR FRIEND, MARK BRENDANAWICZ. 488 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,757 - OH, WE ACTUALLY, UH, MET. 489 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,659 - OH, DUH! 490 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,494 YEAH, YOU GUYS TOTALLY SLEPT TOGETHER. 491 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:15,595 - I'LL TAKE THAT DRINK. 492 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,465 - SO YOU'RE WITH ANDY NOW? 493 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:22,369 NO, THAT MAKES SENSE. 494 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,371 IT'S BEEN A GREAT WEEK. 495 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,375 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S THIRSTY? - WHAT? 496 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,909 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? 497 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,311 HOW THIRSTY I GET WHEN I'M WEIRD. 498 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,280 - MM-HMM. - WHEN I'M DRUNK. 499 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,548 BEN THE JERK IS HERE. 500 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,350 - WHO ARE? - THAT ONE. 501 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,252 THE ONE COMING OVER HERE. GET READY. 502 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,521 - OKAY, LESLIE, BE PROFESSIONAL. 503 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,722 - HI. 504 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,325 - HELLO, BEN. 505 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,860 - UM, LOOK, UH, 506 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,597 I KIND OF FEEL LIKE WE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT. 507 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,300 SO I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND-- 508 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,335 - YEAH, WELL, SAVE YOUR BREATH, OKAY? 509 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:58,171 JUST GET OUT OF HERE. 510 00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,772 BECAUSE THIS IS A PARTY WITH MY FRIENDS, 511 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,274 AND YOU'RE TRYING TO FIRE ALL MY FRIENDS. 512 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:02,642 - I-- 513 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,277 - PLUS I JUST TALKED TO EVERYBODY IN THIS BAR 514 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,878 AND NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE. 515 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,580 - THAT MUST HAVE TAKEN AWHILE. 516 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,582 - YEAH, IT DID. 517 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:12,185 YOU'RE A COLD, CALLOUS PERSON, 518 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,187 AND YOU WANT TO KILL PEOPLE WITH MACHETES. 519 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,855 AND ANN IS RIGHT, 520 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,757 I SHOULD MAKE MY OWN PLAN 521 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,193 SO THAT YOU CAN'T HURT US, AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 522 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:23,263 - UM, OKAY, THEN I'LL-- I'LL JUST SEE YOU TOMORROW. 523 00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,931 - MM-HMM. - SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. 524 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:28,268 - GET OUT OF HERE. 525 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:31,904 - LESLIE, THAT WAS SO PROFESSIONAL. 526 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,273 I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 527 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,641 - THANK YOU. 528 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,911 - YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. - OW. 529 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:42,382 - I KNOW, ME TOO. BUT YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. 530 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,417 I THINK I MAY HAVE MADE OUT WITH SOMEONE LAST NIGHT. 531 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:47,754 - [laughs] OH, NO. WHO? 532 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:48,821 - I DON'T REMEMBER. 533 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,490 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT HAPPENED, 534 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,392 I JUST HAD THIS FEELING WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING 535 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,860 LIKE I DEFINITELY KISSED SOMEBODY. 536 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:54,861 - NO-- 537 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:57,697 - HEY. ANN. 538 00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:58,598 HMM. 539 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,967 OH, THAT WAS A CRAZY NIGHT LAST NIGHT. 540 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,735 [chuckles] 541 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:05,905 - YEAH, CRAZY. 542 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:09,542 - I MEAN, I LEFT AT 11:15 543 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,278 AND YOU WERE STILL RAGING PRETTY HARD. 544 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:14,414 - OH, I WAS. I WAS. 545 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,416 [laughs] GOOD. 546 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,650 - YEAH. SO IT'S NOT JERRY. 547 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:18,718 - HELP ME. 548 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,887 - I'LL KEEP MY EAR TO THE GROUND. 549 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,256 - KNOPE! MY OFFICE! 550 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,658 - THAT'S LOUD. - WHY THE YELLING? 551 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,727 - HAVE A GOOD NIGHT LAST NIGHT? 552 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,629 - NOT REALLY. 553 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:33,300 - DID YOU ENJOY YOUR SECOND LOUD CONVERSATION WITH BEN? 554 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,035 THE STATE AUDITOR WHO HOLDS YOUR VERY FATE IN HIS HANDS 555 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,704 LIKE A TINY BIRD. 556 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,806 - YOU KNOW WHAT, HE DESERVED IT. 557 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,309 HE'S COLD AND UNFEELING, AND I YELLED AT HIM. 558 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,943 SO WHAT? 559 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:46,513 - BELIEVE ME, I WANT THIS GOVERNMENT CUT TO THE BONE. 560 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,581 BUT I CAN'T HAVE YOU GETTING YOURSELF FIRED, 561 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,817 BECAUSE THEN I'LL HAVE TO DO STUFF. 562 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,552 GO APOLOGIZE. 563 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,321 - NO, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. 564 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,689 ALL I DID WAS EXPRESS MYSELF, 565 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:57,757 FORCEFULLY, 566 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,626 DRUNKENLY. 567 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,361 AND I SPIT ON HIM A LITTLE BIT. 568 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,896 OKAY, I'LL GO APOLOGIZE. 569 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,598 - MM, MM. 570 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:07,434 LESLIE, LESLIE. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME. 571 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,801 - HI, YOU HAVE A LOT OF BOTTLES THERE. 572 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,670 - OH, YEAH, WOULD YOU LIKE A VITAMIN? 573 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,740 B12? EVENING PRIMROSE OIL? WILLOW BARK? MAGNESIUM? 574 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,308 - NO, THANK YOU. - YOU SURE? 575 00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:16,976 REALLY GOOD FOR HANGOVERS. - OKAY, I'LL TAKE ONE. 576 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,746 - I TAKE CARE OF MY BODY ABOVE ALL ELSE. 577 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,782 DIET, EXERCISE, SUPPLEMENTS, POSITIVE THINKING. 578 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,717 SCIENTISTS BELIEVE THAT THE FIRST HUMAN BEING 579 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:27,754 WHO WILL LIVE 150 YEARS HAS ALREADY BEEN BORN. 580 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,457 I BELIEVE I AM THAT HUMAN BEING. 581 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,525 SO. WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE SO EARLY? 582 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,661 - I'M HERE TO SPEAK TO BEN, ACTUALLY. 583 00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:35,828 - GREAT. 584 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:36,896 I'M GONNA LISTEN TO SOME OCEAN SOUNDS 585 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,866 AND SO SOME CHIN-UPS. 586 00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,472 - SO I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR YESTERDAY. 587 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,574 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 588 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,909 - NOW WHAT I DID WAS OUT OF LINE. TWICE. 589 00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:52,879 AND I WAS WORKED UP BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY 590 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,381 YOU REPRESENT A THREAT TO MY DEPARTMENT. 591 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:55,948 - YOUR CITY COUNSEL AND YOUR MAYOR 592 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:57,684 ARE THE THREATS TO YOUR DEPARTMENT. 593 00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:58,885 WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING 594 00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,753 TO GET YOU INTO THIS SITUATION, OKAY? 595 00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:01,788 - OKAY, LOOK, BEN, 596 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,923 I DON'T APPRECIATE YOUR CALLOUS ATTITUDE, OKAY? 597 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,425 - REALLY? - YEAH, REALLY. 598 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,559 - OKAY. 599 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,928 - YOU MAY HOLD MY FATE IN YOUR HANDS LIKE A SMALL BIRD, 600 00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,731 BUT I STILL THINK YOU'RE AN ASS. 601 00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,670 - YOU WANNA GET A BEER? 602 00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:19,772 - IT'S, LIKE, 10:30 IN THE MORNING. 603 00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,073 - YEAH. YOU SEEM LIKE YOU COULD USE A BEER. 604 00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:22,809 LET'S GET A BEER. 605 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:23,976 - WELL-- 606 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,446 - OH, OH, OH, OH. DON'T KEEP HIM TOO LONG. 607 00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:28,781 I NEED SOMEONE TO BE HERE WHEN I TAKE MY MULTIVITAMIN. 608 00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:30,883 THERE'S A CHOKING HAZARD. 609 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,586 - OKAY, CAN WE GO? 610 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,755 - OH, MY GOD. 611 00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,156 YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING 612 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,491 THAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, DO YOU? 613 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,092 - NO. - WOW. 614 00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:43,796 FOR ONCE, IT'S ANN WHO BLACKED OUT DRUNK 615 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:44,764 AND NOT ANDY. 616 00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:46,499 - OKAY. - OH, MY GOSH. 617 00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:47,567 THIS IS-- THAT'S REALLY DANGEROUS. 618 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,801 - PLEASE TELL ME. 619 00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:50,136 - THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUN 620 00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:52,772 LETTING YOU DANGLE UNTIL I FINALLY REVEAL 621 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:55,107 THAT WE DID NOT MAKE OUT. 622 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:56,709 OH, [bleep]. 623 00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,110 DAMN IT. 624 00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,680 - GOOD. SEE YA. 625 00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,416 - ALL RIGHT. 626 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:06,486 - HEY, I NEED TO SETTLE MY BILL FROM LAST NIGHT. 627 00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:07,920 TOM HAVERFORD. 628 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:10,723 - OKAY. [clears throat] 629 00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:13,626 WOW, YOU HAD 47 DRINKS LAST NIGHT? 630 00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:16,563 TEN COSMOS, EIGHT SMIRNOFF ICES, 631 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,698 AND EVERYTHING ELSE STARTS WITH THE WORD POMEGRANATE. 632 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,166 AW. WAS IT YOUR BACHELORETTE PARTY? 633 00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:21,868 - NO. 634 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,504 I INVITED A BUNCH OF GIRLS HERE LAST NIGHT, 635 00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:27,540 AND THEY ALL PUT DRINKS ON MY TAB. 636 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,609 AND THEN I WENT HOME ALONE. 637 00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:30,777 I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED. 638 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:31,711 - YOU INVITED A BUNCH OF GIRLS HERE 639 00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:33,546 AND THEN YOU TRIED TO HIT ON ALL OF THEM. 640 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:35,782 - FAIR ENOUGH. 641 00:23:35,815 --> 00:23:36,849 - I MEAN, WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING WAS GONNA HAPPEN, 642 00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:37,850 A 43-WAY? 643 00:23:37,884 --> 00:23:40,953 - THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL. 644 00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,154 - BUT AWESOME. - YEAH. 645 00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:43,923 THE PROBLEM IS I ONLY HAVE 15 PENISES. 646 00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:45,992 SO THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN 28 GIRLS 647 00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:47,694 THAT WERE REALLY UPSET WITH ME. 648 00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:51,230 [both chuckle] 649 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:55,602 ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANKS. 650 00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:57,904 - [clears throat] 651 00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:00,907 - HEY, UH, WOULD YOU WANNA GET A DRINK TOMORROW NIGHT? 652 00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:04,811 - DOES IT HAVE TO BE HERE? - NO. 653 00:24:04,844 --> 00:24:08,815 - THEN SURE. I'M LUCY. 654 00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:12,919 LET YOU GIVE ME MY PHONE NUMBER. 655 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,555 - SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING. 656 00:24:15,588 --> 00:24:17,924 - JUST NOW? NOTHING. 657 00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:20,226 - WELL, I HAD A GREAT TIME LAST NIGHT. 658 00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:22,795 SO ARE YOU FREE THIS WEEKEND? 659 00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:25,965 - OH, SHAUNA, LOOK, I THINK YOU ARE A SUPER CUTE PERSON, 660 00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:29,502 AND YOUR NEWSPAPER ARTICLES ARE SO COOL, 661 00:24:29,536 --> 00:24:31,904 AND THEY'RE--THEY'RE PROBABLY VERY ACCURATE. 662 00:24:31,938 --> 00:24:34,941 BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WE SHOULD GO OUT ROMANTICALLY. 663 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:35,942 - WHY NOT? 664 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,944 - WELL, HONESTLY, 665 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:40,947 BECAUSE THERE'S ALREADY A GIRL THAT I LIKE. 666 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:45,685 AND WE KIND OF HAVE A LONG BACKSTORY OF HISTORY. 667 00:24:45,718 --> 00:24:48,721 AND...I LIKE HER. 668 00:24:48,755 --> 00:24:52,525 - OKAY, WELL, GOOD LUCK. 669 00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:55,695 I CAN'T EVEN LAND THE SHOESHINE GUY. 670 00:24:55,728 --> 00:24:58,264 - MM. 671 00:24:58,297 --> 00:24:59,632 WOW, THAT TASTES REALLY GOOD. 672 00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,934 - MM. HOW'S YOUR HEAD? 673 00:25:01,968 --> 00:25:04,871 - MUSHY. 674 00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:06,305 I'M SORRY THAT I YELLED AT YOU. 675 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,740 ALL THREE TIMES. 676 00:25:07,774 --> 00:25:09,241 BUT I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW ANYTHING 677 00:25:09,275 --> 00:25:10,376 ABOUT MY DEPARTMENT. 678 00:25:10,409 --> 00:25:13,312 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN PART OF A GOVERNMENT BODY BEFORE? 679 00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:15,548 - UH, I HAVE. YEAH. 680 00:25:15,582 --> 00:25:17,884 IN A SMALL TOWN CALLED PARTRIDGE, MINNESOTA. 681 00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:22,555 - WHY DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR? 682 00:25:24,991 --> 00:25:27,026 YOU'RE BENJI WYATT? - I AM. 683 00:25:27,059 --> 00:25:28,561 WHEN I WAS 18, 684 00:25:28,595 --> 00:25:32,298 I RAN FOR MAYOR OF MY SMALL TOWN AND WON. 685 00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:35,902 LITTLE BIT OF ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT VOTER REBELLION, I GUESS. 686 00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:38,771 HERE'S THE THING, THOUGH, ABOUT 18-YEAR-OLDS. 687 00:25:38,805 --> 00:25:40,640 THEY'RE IDIOTS. 688 00:25:40,673 --> 00:25:42,208 SO I PRETTY MUCH RAN THE PLACE INTO THE GROUND 689 00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:45,978 AFTER TWO MONTHS AND GOT IMPEACHED. 690 00:25:46,012 --> 00:25:48,848 WORST PART WAS, MY PARENTS GROUNDED ME. 691 00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:50,883 - OH, MY GOD, YOU WERE SO CUTE. 692 00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:51,884 - OH, WELL, THANK YOU. 693 00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:52,885 - WHAT WAS THAT SONG YOU PLAYED 694 00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:53,986 AT THE SWEARING-IN CEREMONY? 695 00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:57,857 - WHOOMP! THERE IT IS IS WHAT IT WAS, YEAH. 696 00:25:57,890 --> 00:25:59,225 - GOD, I WAS SO JEALOUS OF YOU. 697 00:25:59,258 --> 00:26:00,192 - YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN. 698 00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:02,128 I MEAN, IT ENDED UP KIND OF RUINING MY LIFE. 699 00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:04,230 I MEAN, NOW I'M BALANCING BUDGETS 700 00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:05,898 SO I CAN SHOW PEOPLE I'M RESPONSIBLE, 701 00:26:05,932 --> 00:26:08,300 SO I CAN RUN FOR OFFICE AGAIN SOMEDAY 702 00:26:08,334 --> 00:26:11,370 AND NOT BE LAUGHED AT, YOU KNOW? 703 00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,039 I MEAN, YOU WANNA RUN FOR OFFICE SOMEDAY, RIGHT? 704 00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:15,708 - YEAH. HOW DID YOU KNOW? 705 00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:17,176 - WELL, YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS 706 00:26:17,209 --> 00:26:18,645 LIKE THIS, LESLIE. 707 00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:20,847 YOU HAVE TO BE HARSH, YOU KNOW? 708 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:21,981 NO ONE'S GONNA ELECT YOU TO DO ANYTHING 709 00:26:22,014 --> 00:26:24,851 IF YOU DON'T SHOW THAT YOU'RE A RESPONSIBLE GROWN-UP. 710 00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:26,853 - YEAH. 711 00:26:26,886 --> 00:26:28,120 - WELL. 712 00:26:28,154 --> 00:26:30,757 - OH, NO, PLEASE, MR. MAYOR, LET ME. 713 00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:32,358 * WHOOMP! THERE IT IS 714 00:26:32,391 --> 00:26:33,826 - OKAY. 715 00:26:33,860 --> 00:26:37,029 - MM. 716 00:26:37,063 --> 00:26:39,398 MM. 717 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,968 - EVERYTHING OKAY? - HMM? 718 00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:43,670 MM. 719 00:26:43,703 --> 00:26:45,705 NO. 720 00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:58,384 - YOU READY? - YEAH. 721 00:27:06,993 --> 00:27:10,096 - HEY, RON, DID WE MAKE OUT LAST NIGHT? 722 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:11,898 - GOOD GOD, WOMAN, NO. 723 00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:13,700 - OKAY. WELL, THAT'S IT. 724 00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:14,867 THAT'S ALL THE MEN THAT I KNOW. 725 00:27:14,901 --> 00:27:17,369 - YOU GUYS JUST KNOCKED IT COMPLETELY OUT OF THE PARK. 726 00:27:17,403 --> 00:27:21,240 AND I APPRECIATE IT, AND WE WILL SEE YOU LATER. 727 00:27:22,942 --> 00:27:25,912 [laughs] HEY. ANN PERKINS. 728 00:27:25,945 --> 00:27:29,882 - HEY. - HEY. WELL. 729 00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:32,218 - UH, APRIL'S PARTY? APRIL'S PARTY? 730 00:27:32,251 --> 00:27:33,886 - YEAH, HEY, MAN. HOW'S IT GOING? 731 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,455 - HEY. - HEY. 732 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:37,824 COME HERE. 733 00:27:37,857 --> 00:27:39,458 THERE'S NO REASON NOT TO LOVE HIM, 734 00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:40,860 BUT I--I DIDN'T. 735 00:27:40,893 --> 00:27:45,932 * HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE 736 00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:47,767 - I'M CALLING YOU A CAB. 737 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,836 - YOU KNOW, I JUST-- 738 00:27:49,869 --> 00:27:53,973 - MM. 739 00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:56,075 MM-MM-MM, MM-MM-MM. 740 00:27:56,108 --> 00:27:58,377 MM. 741 00:27:58,410 --> 00:27:59,478 OKAY, LET'S GET YOU A CAB. 742 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:02,248 GO AHEAD. - BOO. 743 00:28:02,281 --> 00:28:03,082 - FANCY THIS. 744 00:28:03,115 --> 00:28:05,852 UM, LISTEN, I HAVE MEETINGS ALL DAY, 745 00:28:05,885 --> 00:28:08,154 BUT I'D LOVE TO CHAT WITH YOU; CAN I CALL YOU? 746 00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,790 - YOU HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER? 747 00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:12,859 - NO, YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 748 00:28:12,892 --> 00:28:14,026 BUT YOU GAVE ME YOUR PHONE. 749 00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,962 - TERRIFIC. THAT'S GREAT. 750 00:28:15,995 --> 00:28:16,929 WE'LL TALK LATER. 751 00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:19,065 - OKAY. * DANGER ZONE 752 00:28:19,098 --> 00:28:22,334 COME ON, GUYS. 753 00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:23,402 - WE'LL TALK LATER. 754 00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:25,237 YEAH, WE SHOULD HAVE A MEETING TOO 755 00:28:25,271 --> 00:28:27,073 ABOUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED [quietly] IN SECRET. 756 00:28:28,975 --> 00:28:33,412 THIS SUGGESTED PLAN REDUCES OUR OVERALL BUDGET BY 35%. 757 00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:35,481 AND IT CONTAINS VERY PRACTICAL DEEP CUTS 758 00:28:35,514 --> 00:28:37,183 IN MANY OF OUR SERVICES. 759 00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,418 - UH, LESLIE, THIS IS AMAZING, 760 00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:40,820 BUT IT'S MOOT. 761 00:28:40,853 --> 00:28:41,921 - WHY? 762 00:28:41,954 --> 00:28:44,090 - OUR INVESTIGATION HAS REVEALED 763 00:28:44,123 --> 00:28:46,392 THAT THINGS IN PAWNEE ARE MUCH WORSE 764 00:28:46,425 --> 00:28:47,493 THAN WE ANTICIPATED. 765 00:28:47,526 --> 00:28:49,962 - MEANING WHAT? 766 00:28:49,996 --> 00:28:51,297 - WELL, EFFECTIVE TOMORROW MORNING, 767 00:28:51,330 --> 00:28:52,865 THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT WILL BE SHUT DOWN 768 00:28:52,899 --> 00:28:57,269 UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. 769 00:28:57,303 --> 00:28:58,504 - I'M SORRY, I JUST STARTED HEARING 770 00:28:58,537 --> 00:29:00,206 REALLY LOUD CIRCUS MUSIC IN MY HEAD. 771 00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:01,740 WHAT DID YOU SAY? 772 00:29:03,542 --> 00:29:06,478 * NOVEMBER, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL * 773 00:29:06,512 --> 00:29:10,349 * NOVEMBER, YOU'RE SO SERENE * 774 00:29:10,382 --> 00:29:12,484 * WALK AMONG THE CLOUDS 775 00:29:12,518 --> 00:29:15,421 * AND SEE THAT YOU AND ME 776 00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:17,323 * WERE MEANT TO BE 777 00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:21,360 * NOVEMBER, YOUR BANGS ARE CUTE * 778 00:29:21,393 --> 00:29:24,964 * NOVEMBER, YOUR VOICE IS A FLUTE * 779 00:29:24,997 --> 00:29:26,432 * NOVEMBER 780 00:29:26,465 --> 00:29:32,171 * LET'S PRETEND THE SKY IS FOR US * 781 00:29:32,204 --> 00:29:37,243 * LET'S SPREAD OUR WINGS AND FLY ON A DATE * 782 00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:41,147 * I WANNA GO ON A DATE WITH YOU * 783 00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:44,483 * NOVEMBER 784 00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:48,921 THAT SONG IS ABOUT APRIL.