1 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,404 - GOOD MORNING. - WHOO! 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,373 SWISS FAMILY RON-BINSON-- THAT HAT IS DOPE. 3 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,208 - THANKS, TOM. 4 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:10,078 - YOU MIND IF I ROCK THAT BAD LARRY ON MY DOME? 5 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,445 WEAR IT, ON MY HEAD? 6 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:14,348 TRY IT ON THE LADIES? 7 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:15,316 - BE MY GUEST. 8 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:20,154 - HI. I'M TOM. I HAVE A RACCOON ON MY HEAD. 9 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,422 UH... 10 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,624 EXCUSE ME, MY FRIEND OVER HERE WAS DIGGING THROUGH YOUR TRASH, 11 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,093 AND I THINK WE MAY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. 12 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,395 I'M TOM. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A MOVIE SOMETIME? 13 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,730 ARE YOU A RACCOON? 14 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,433 BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND MY HAT ALL DA-- 15 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,468 HEAD ALL DAY. 16 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,504 GIRL, YOU'RE MORE PRECIOUS THAN PRECIOUS. 17 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,339 - UH-UH. 18 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,774 - NICE HAT. WANT TO BONE? 19 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,376 THAT'S YOU TALKING TO ME. 20 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,611 - NO. 21 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,779 HOW ABOUT... 22 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:49,517 "YES, I AM A HUNTER, AND IT'S YOU SEASON"? 23 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,818 - WHOA! 24 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,121 THAT'S GREAT. I GOT TO GET BACK OUT THERE. 25 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,222 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-- 26 00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:55,723 ANIMAL ON THE HEAD, 27 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:56,690 MANIMAL IN THE BED. 28 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,260 DAMN, GIRL, YOUR HOTNESS KILLED MY RACCOON. 29 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,529 I HAVE A RACCOON HAT. I'M AN INTERESTING PERSON. 30 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,632 HELLO. 31 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,400 - ANY LUCK? 32 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,401 - NO. 33 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,137 DIDN'T WORK OUT AS WELL AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD. 34 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,539 - WELL, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME. 35 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,307 - I TRIED. IT JUST DIDN'T SEEM LIKE-- 36 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:14,442 - WOW, I LOVE THAT HAT. 37 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,444 - THANK YOU, MA'AM. 38 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,450 [triumphant music] 39 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:30,491 * 40 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,735 - HEY, RON, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU. 41 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,172 MEET ME AT HARVEY JAMES PARK AT 11:30. 42 00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:45,839 - WHY? - IT'S A SURPRISE. 43 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,341 - WHAT'S THE SURPRISE? 44 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,576 - IF I TOLD YOU, IT WOULD RUIN THE SURPRISE. 45 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:49,910 - WHAT'S THE SURPRISE IT WOULD RUIN? 46 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:50,711 - I CANNOT TELL YOU THAT. 47 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,446 - LESLIE, MY FIRST WIFE, TAMMY, 48 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,515 TRIED THROWING ME A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY. 49 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,784 WHEN I SAW MY FRIENDS HIDING THROUGH THE WINDOW, 50 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,719 I DROVE TO A GAS STATION, CALLED THE COPS, 51 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,189 AND TOLD THEM PEOPLE HAD BROKEN INTO MY HOME. 52 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,524 NOT BIG ON SURPRISES. 53 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,259 - OKAY, BUT YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS ONE. 54 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,394 - WHAT IS IT? - I'M NOT TELLING YOU. 55 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:10,464 AND I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANYBODY. 56 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,632 OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU. 57 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:12,466 WE'RE PUTTING TOGETHER 58 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,535 THE PARKS DEPARTMENT SUMMER CATALOG, 59 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:18,406 AND THE BIG SURPRISE IS I AM GOING TO REUNITE 60 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,809 ALL THE LIVING, FORMER PARKS DIRECTORS AT A PICNIC, 61 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:22,810 RECORD THE WHOLE THING, 62 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,813 AND THEN WRITE ABOUT IT IN THE WELCOME LETTER. 63 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,282 IT'S THE BIGGEST CATALOG OF THE YEAR. 64 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,784 THINK OF THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE OF VOGUE, 65 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,686 BUT IT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO PAWNEE, 66 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,788 MAINLY BECAUSE WE DON'T GET VOGUE HERE. 67 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,526 I'M GONNA MOVE THIS YEARNING AD TO THE CENTERFOLD. 68 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,461 - CENTERFOLD? ALWAYS THE BEST PART. 69 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,895 AM I RIGHT, JUSTIN? 70 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,964 DAMN. YOU BROKE UP SIX WEEKS AGO. 71 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,500 - YEAH. JERRY, I NEED TO SEE YOUR SOFTBALL PICTURES. 72 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,369 - HERE YOU GO, CHIEF. 73 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,304 - WOW. GOOD JOB. NICE WORK. 74 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,440 - WAIT A MINUTE. ISN'T THAT THAT CREEPY GUY? 75 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:55,543 MORGAN, THE PEDOPHILE? 76 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,544 - YEAH, IT IS. 77 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,978 [all groaning] 78 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,514 - COME ON, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. HE SEEMED OKAY. 79 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:01,582 [gasps] 80 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,317 WE HAD DINNER TOGETHER. 81 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,518 - GUYS, I DON'T KNOW IF I MADE IT CLEAR, 82 00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:06,220 BUT I DON'T WANT ANY SEX OFFENDERS 83 00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,588 IN OUR PARKS CATALOG. 84 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,856 - OKAY, I WILL PHOTOSHOP HIS FACE. 85 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,525 - CAN YOU PHOTOSHOP YOUR LIFE WITH BETTER DECISIONS, JERRY? 86 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,260 - OKAY, APRIL, ENOUGH. 87 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,495 COVER PHOTO-- TOM, YOU'RE UP. 88 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,563 - THIS CATALOG 89 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,465 IS BASICALLY LIKE AN AD FOR THE PARKS DEPARTMENT, 90 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,467 AND I LOVE ADS. 91 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,969 I LOVE MAGAZINE ADS FOR FLAVORED VODKAS, 92 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,871 BILLBOARDS FOR DESIGNER JEANS. 93 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,440 I TiVo THROUGH SHOWS TO GET TO THE ADS. 94 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,642 I LOVE ADS. 95 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:31,312 WHAT ARE WE TRYING TO DO WITH THIS CATALOG? 96 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,914 WE'RE TRYING TO SELL PAWNEE ON OUR SUMMER CLASSES. 97 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,349 HOW DO WE DO THAT? 98 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:38,519 WITH ONE PERFECT, CAPTIVATING IMAGE. 99 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,553 APRIL. 100 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:40,988 MODERN LIFE. 101 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,556 WHERE ARE WE RUNNING? 102 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:46,527 SOMETIMES WHAT WE WANT IS NOT ALWAYS WHERE WE ARE. 103 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,761 NEXT SLIDE. 104 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,530 ARE WE ALONE? 105 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,965 IS THE REAL WINTER INSIDE OUR HEARTS? 106 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:54,502 WE'RE ALL STRUGGLING FOR DEFINITION 107 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,570 IN A WORLD THAT RESISTS OUR INQUIRIES. 108 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,439 - OKAY, THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS. 109 00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,740 ONE-- THIS IS A SUMMER CATALOG, 110 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,376 TWO--THAT WAS COMPLETE GIBBERISH, 111 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,512 AND THREE--THAT CHILD LOOKS LIKE IT'S ABANDONED, 112 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,814 SO BASICALLY, BOO. 113 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,383 - NEXT SLIDE. 114 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:10,518 OH, GOD. 115 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,853 WEIRD. HOW DID THAT...? 116 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,822 UM, THAT'S A PERSONAL PHOTO. 117 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,724 THAT'S-- 118 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,426 SHOULDN'T BE-- IT MUST'VE... 119 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,527 YOU KNOW, I GOT TO SAY, 120 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,062 I THINK THAT COULD ACTUALLY WORK AS OUR COVER PHOTO. 121 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,497 I'M COOL WITH IT IF YOU GUYS ARE. 122 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:24,465 IT'S A HIGH-RES PHOTO. 123 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,999 - I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE TIME FOR THIS, GUYS, 124 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,535 SO LET'S JUST PICK A GOOD PHOTO, OKAY? 125 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,569 - WHAT DO YOU WANT, LESLIE? 126 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,070 A PICTURE OF PARENTS PUSHING A KID ON A SWING? 127 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,373 - YEAH, EXACTLY. GET ME THAT. 128 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,574 - [sighs] 129 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,476 - OKAY, I GOT TO GO. 130 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,479 - WHAT IS HE THINKING? 131 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,515 - "WHY IS MY CUP SO TINY?" 132 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,651 [knocking] 133 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,420 - HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 134 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,756 - HAPPY SIX-MONTH ANNIVERSARY. 135 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,491 I GOT YOU A GIFT. 136 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,759 UH, IT'S A CHICKEN-SALAD SANDWICH. 137 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,495 AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT GETTING ME ANYTHING, 138 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,629 BECAUSE I NEVER EXP-- 139 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,998 - SWISS ARMY WATCH, MOFO. 140 00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,601 - WELL DONE, PERKINS. 141 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,403 WOW. - YOU LIKE IT? 142 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:05,839 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. IT'S SO NICE. 143 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,541 ARE YOU-- ARE YOU ALLOWED TO KISS ME 144 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:08,842 IN A--IN A HOSPITAL ROOM? 145 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,811 - OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. HE'S DEAD. 146 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,413 - OH, MY GOD. 147 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,081 - OH, NO, I'M JUST KIDDING. HE'S SLEEPING. 148 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:14,948 - OH, OKAY. 149 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,351 YEAH, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING WELL, 150 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,353 REALLY WELL. 151 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:21,755 THAT GUY REALLY SEEMED DEAD. 152 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,793 - NICE! 153 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,595 - HERE, CATCH THIS. 154 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:29,497 - [laughs] 155 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,831 YOU GOT ME IN THE FACE. 156 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,733 OH. THAT ONE HURT. 157 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,734 YOU HAVE A GOOD ARM. 158 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,669 - I KNOW. I USED TO PLAY SOFTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL. 159 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,571 - SHUT UP. I PLAYED BASEBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL. 160 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:38,672 - SHUT UP. 161 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,541 - YEAH, THAT'S, LIKE, THE BOY VERSION OF SOFTBALL. 162 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,075 - GUYS, DON'T PLAY WITH THE FOOD, OKAY? 163 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,444 WE NEED THIS FOR THE PICNIC. 164 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,578 WE HAVE EVERYTHING? - YES, MA'AM. 165 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,747 THREE PICNIC BASKETS, ASSORTED CHEESES, GRAPES, WINE. 166 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,116 - SMOKED SALMON? 167 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:52,620 - APRIL THREW THE SMOKED SALMON ON THE ROOF. 168 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,754 I'M SORRY. 169 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,022 - WHERE'S LESLIE? 170 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,690 SHE JUST TEXTED ME FROM YOUR PHONE 171 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,158 AND SAID SHE LEFT HER PHONE AT HOME 172 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,993 AND THAT I SHOULD COME HERE IMMEDIATELY, 173 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,662 AND WHY DID I BELIEVE THAT? 174 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,664 MAYBE IN YOUR HEART, YOU KNEW IT WAS FROM ME, 175 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,499 BUT YOU CAME ANYWAY. 176 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,366 - NOPE. 177 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,602 - TOM, WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP TEXTING ME 178 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,604 THAT YOU'RE HAVING A CITY-PLANNING EMERGENCY. 179 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:12,540 THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A CITY-PLANNING EMERGENCY. 180 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,541 - HI, THERE. - HI. 181 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,307 - LOOK AT YOU TWO. 182 00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:17,010 ANN PERKINS, MARK BRENDANAWICZ. 183 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,579 ANN-DANAWICZ... 184 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,548 OR MERKINS. 185 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,815 NO, ANN-DANAWICZ. 186 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,050 YOU TWO SHOULD BE MODELS-- 187 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,552 MAYBE ON THE COVER 188 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,521 OF THE PARKS DEPARTMENT SUMMER CATALOG? 189 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,923 - THAT'S NOT THE REASON YOU CALLED ME IN HERE, RIGHT? 190 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,492 'CAUSE I JUST FINISHED A 12-HOUR SHIFT. 191 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:32,760 IF THAT'S THE REASON-- 192 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,528 - COME ON, ANN. IT'D BE A HUGE FAVOR FOR LESLIE. 193 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:35,929 YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO HER. 194 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,197 - WELL, I AM IN. - DUDE. 195 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,198 - I AM. 196 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,534 WE DON'T HAVE ANY PICTURES 197 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,035 OF JUST THE TWO OF US. 198 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,537 PLUS, I'VE ALWAYS SAID 199 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,506 WE SHOULD GO ON MORE DATES WITH TOM. 200 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,140 - YEAH, YOU HAVE, 201 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,176 AND THANK GOD AN OPPORTUNITY PRESENTED ITSELF. 202 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,578 - SEE, WIN-WIN. 203 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:51,712 - NOW, ANN, YOU'RE GONNA CHANGE, RIGHT? 204 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,514 - I G--I GUESS. 205 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,549 - AND WOULD IT KILL YOU TO MAYBE PUT ON SOME LIPSTICK? 206 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:56,850 DO YOU EVEN OWN LIPSTICK? 207 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,786 - THIS IS PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY 208 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,988 THESE FOUR GREAT MEN HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME PLACE 209 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,022 AT THE SAME TIME. 210 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,724 IT KIND OF MAKES YOU-- 211 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,093 - WHAT IS THIS? 212 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,027 - [laughing] 213 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,062 SWEATER SWAP. SHE NOTICED. YOU WERE RIGHT. 214 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,464 - OH, MY GOD. SOMEBODY'S HERE. 215 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:11,799 OKAY, GUYS, JUST ACT NORMAL, PLEASE. 216 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,000 JUST BE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. 217 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,202 HELLO. HI, DAVID MOSER. 218 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,003 I'M LESLIE KNOPE. 219 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,638 IT IS SUCH AN HONOR TO MEET YOU. 220 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,541 - RIGHT. HOW LONG IS THIS GONNA TAKE? 221 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,975 - OH, NOT VERY LONG. 222 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,578 I-I REALIZE, OF COURSE, YOU'RE A VERY BUSY MAN. 223 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:25,779 I LOVE PARKS. 224 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,181 I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S SOMETHING I'VE COMMUNICATED BEFORE. 225 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,382 SO HAVING A PICNIC 226 00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:32,553 WITH ALL THE FORMER, LIVING PARKS DEPARTMENT DIRECTORS-- 227 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,255 GUESS WHO JUST CHECKED SOMETHING OFF HER BUCKET LIST. 228 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,758 CLARENCE CARRINGTON, DAVID MOSER, 229 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,193 MICHAEL TANSLEY, RON SWANSON-- 230 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,229 GATHERED TOGETHER ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY 231 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:43,597 IN THIS BEAUTIFUL PARK. 232 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,065 I THINK WE SHOULD JUST TAKE A MOMENT 233 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,735 AND APPRECIATE HOW LUCKY WE ARE. 234 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,269 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, CLARENCE. 235 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,873 - NO, I'M GONNA OUTLIVE YOU, THEN I'M GONNA NAIL YOUR WIFE. 236 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:53,974 - SCREW YOU, YOU OLD COOT. 237 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,976 - CLASSIC DAVID. YOU'RE WORSE THAN RON. 238 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,778 - SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH, TANSLEY. 239 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,548 - OKAY, GREAT, LET'S GO. 240 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,916 WHEN I SAY "PARKS," YOU SAY "DEPARTMENT." 241 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,552 PARKS. 242 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,719 PARKS. 243 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:06,987 - APARTMENT! 244 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,593 - OH, BOY, THIS IS TAKING A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. 245 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,227 CAN YOU GUYS RUN UP AHEAD AND SET UP THE PICNIC? 246 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,063 - SURE. [Leslie sighs] 247 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,631 - WHERE ARE THEY GOING WITH THE FOOD? 248 00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,900 I'M STARVING. I ONLY HAD ONE BREAKFAST. 249 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,034 - OKAY, RELAX. 250 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,636 LOOK, WHAT WAS GOING ON BACK THERE? 251 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,871 WHY ALL THE SNIPING? 252 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,573 - I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE. 253 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,674 THE ONLY ONE I KNOW IS MICHAEL, 254 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,642 AND WE'RE NOT EXACTLY BEST FRIENDS. 255 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,143 I'M HUNGRY. 256 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,012 - OKAY, WELL, DON'T BE SUCH A BABY. 257 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,615 I COOKED YOU SOME BACON FOR A TRAIL SNACK. 258 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,749 - I ATE IT ALREADY. 259 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:36,550 - WHAT? 260 00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:37,951 - I COULD SMELL IT IN YOUR PURSE 261 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,019 BEFORE I EVEN PARKED MY CAR. 262 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,053 AND NOW IT'S GONE, 263 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,723 AND I HATE EVERYTHING. 264 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,993 - GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 265 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,194 ALL RIGHT. 266 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:50,330 I THINK WE GOT THE BORING, CLICHED SHOT THAT LESLIE WANTED. 267 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,665 - THAT'S IT? WE'RE DONE? 268 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:53,200 - NOT EVEN CLOSE. 269 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:56,637 NOW THE REAL ART BEGINS. 270 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,072 STEP ONE-- NAIL THIS PHOTO SHOOT 271 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:01,208 WITH AN AMAZING, ICONIC IMAGE. 272 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,110 STEP TWO-- BOOK SOME OUTSIDE GIGS. 273 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,579 STEP THREE-- HAVE SEX WITH A MODEL. 274 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:09,583 STEP FOUR--STEP IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA, BECOME A MODEL. 275 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,553 GO, YES. KEEP SLITHERING, KEEP SLITHERING! 276 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,991 ANN, CAN YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING, ANYTHING IN THE FACE? 277 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,226 - WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 278 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,861 - DO WHAT MARK'S DOING. HE'S DOING GREAT. 279 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:21,929 KEEP SLITHERING! 280 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,898 - I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING, SO... 281 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,701 - OKAY, CLARENCE, UM, WHY DON'T YOU DESCRIBE 282 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,970 THE FIRST SUMMER PAWNEE CATALOG? 283 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,939 - OH, I REMEMBER. 284 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,875 THAT FIRST YEAR, WE OFFERED FOUR CLASSES. 285 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,744 I ACTUALLY TAUGHT HOMEMAKING. 286 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,312 WOMEN WERE NOT ALLOWED TO TEACH BACK THEN. 287 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,480 - REALLY? 288 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,616 I THOUGHT THERE WERE FEMALE TEACHERS WAY BEFORE THEN. 289 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:45,919 - NOT IN MY DEPARTMENT. 290 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,155 - WELL, TIMES HAVE CHANGED. 291 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,390 I'M--I'M DEPUTY DIRECTOR NOW, BUT I'M HOPING SOMEDAY 292 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,226 TO BE THE FIRST FEMALE DIRECTOR OF THE DEPARTMENT. 293 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,795 - OH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 294 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,397 WOMEN, UH, NEED A LOT OF BLOOD 295 00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,868 TO--TO FLOW THROUGH TO--TO THEIR BABY CENTERS, 296 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:04,404 WHICH LEAVES LESS TO THE BRAIN, YOU SEE. 297 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,173 - YEAH. MM-HMM. SURE. 298 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,642 - I'D STAY AWAY FROM LEADERSHIP ROLES, 299 00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:12,379 UH, FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY. 300 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,814 - NO! NO! 301 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,148 [groans] 302 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,917 - HEY, MAYBE I SHOULD WRITE A SONG ABOUT A PICNIC. 303 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,820 - OOH, WHERE'D YOU COME UP WITH THAT IDEA? 304 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,254 - THE PICNIC WE'RE HAVING. 305 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,724 I ALREADY HAVE THE PERFECT TITLE. 306 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,025 "LIFE IS A PICNIC." 307 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,393 - THAT'S GOOD. 308 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:30,263 HOW ABOUT "LIFE IS A PICNIC...WITH YOU"? 309 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:33,100 - WHOA. THEN IT COULD BE ABOUT A GIRL... 310 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,168 OR PEYTON MANNING. 311 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,437 HMM. YOU WANT TO HELP ME WRITE THE LYRICS? 312 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,973 - YEAH, TOTALLY. 313 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:43,210 - WE SHOULD GRAB A DRINK AFTER THIS AT TUCKER'S. 314 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,412 - YEAH, I WOULD DO THAT. THAT SOUNDS FUN. 315 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,181 I JUST HAVE TO, UM, GET MY STUFF FROM THE OFFICE. 316 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,885 BUT THAT'S-- THAT WOULD BE COOL. 317 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,320 - DAVID, WHAT WAS IT EXACTLY 318 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,388 THAT CALLED YOU TO THE PARKS DEPARTMENT? 319 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,424 - WELL, I WAS IN PUBLIC WORKS FOR EIGHT YEARS, 320 00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,359 BUT THE DIRECTOR WAS PRETTY YOUNG. 321 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,329 CLARENCE WAS OLD AND WEAK, 322 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,397 SO I PUT IN FOR A TRANSFER, SWOOPED IN, 323 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,800 AND PUSHED HIM OUT. 324 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,271 - UH, THERE WAS NO OTHER REASON YOU WANTED THE JOB? 325 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,074 - NO, JUST THE MONEY AND THE PENSION. 326 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,710 THE ACTUAL JOB'S A NIGHTMARE. 327 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:20,313 I MEAN, WHO GIVES A CRAP ABOUT THIS CRAP? 328 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,716 [blows nose] 329 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,217 [chuckles] 330 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,020 - WELL, DAVID, I THINK WE'VE TALKED ENOUGH. 331 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,389 - MARK, THAT'S GREAT. BOBBY, GREAT. 332 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,924 ANN, YOU LOOK MISERABLE! 333 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,492 TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE! 334 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,728 COME ON, ANN, WHAT ARE WE DOING? 335 00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,396 MAXIM OR GOOD HOUSEKEEPING? 336 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,465 - I'M NOT SURE WHICH ONE IS THE INSULT. 337 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,399 - HEY, IF THERE'S ANYONE OUT THERE 338 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,467 THAT'S DOING A PHOTO SHOOT 339 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,435 ABOUT THE DANGERS OF EATING UNDERCOOKED CHICKEN, 340 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,504 I CAN GIVE YOU ANN'S PHONE NUMBER. 341 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,439 OKAY, LET'S STOP FOR A SECOND. 342 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,441 BOBBY, I LOVE HOW YOU WORK. 343 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,442 - YAY. 344 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,411 - YOU CAN HAVE AS MANY JUICE BOXES AS YOU WANT. 345 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,380 IN FACT, GRAB ME ONE TOO. MAKE IT AN APPLE. 346 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:57,084 MARK, GREAT JOB. YOU CAN HAVE A JUICE BOX TOO. 347 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,119 ANN, TAKE A WALK WITH ME. 348 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,420 IN A MILLION YEARS, I NEVER THOUGHT 349 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,756 YOU WOULD BE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS PHOTO SHOOT. 350 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:05,225 - DIDN'T YOU JUST PLAN THIS, LIKE, TWO HOURS AGO? 351 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,894 - I JUST DON'T GET IT. 352 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:09,396 HOW COULD SOMEONE SO HOT BE SO BAD AT LOOKING HOT? 353 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,464 - I'M SORRY I'M NOT A PROFESSIONAL MODEL. 354 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:14,434 AND SCREAMING "MAKE YOUR FACE BETTER" DOESN'T HELP. 355 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,403 - WELL, I'M SORRY. YOUR FACE JUST ISN'T WORKING. 356 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,237 AND WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING 357 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,372 TO DISTRACT FROM THIS BORING AREA. 358 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,440 NOW, I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO DO THIS, 359 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:21,942 BUT WE MAY HAVE TO GO NUDE. 360 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,944 - GOOD-BYE, TOM. - FAIR ENOUGH. 361 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,046 I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND, BUT WE SHOULD GET ONE FOR SAFETY. 362 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,781 - OKAY, GUYS, WE'RE ALMOST THERE. 363 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:28,949 IT'S RIGHT UP HERE. 364 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,450 - YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE LEADING US. 365 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,453 IF YOU'RE MENSTRUATING, YOU'LL ATTRACT BEARS. 366 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,955 - HOLY GOD. 367 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,123 OKAY. 368 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,291 HERE WE ARE. - [breathing heavily] 369 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,460 EAT. 370 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,295 - WELL, IT HASN'T GONE EXACTLY AS I'D HOPED, 371 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,798 BUT, UM, I GOT THEM ALL HERE, 372 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,466 AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BEAUTIFUL PICNIC. 373 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,135 IT'S GONNA-- IT'S GONNA BE GOOD. 374 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,970 - HEY! 375 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,472 I JUST WHIZZED ON A BUTTERFLY. 376 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,011 - WELL, GENTLEMEN, AS YOU KNOW, I'M WORKING ON MY WELCOME LETTER 377 00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,446 FOR THE SUMMER CATALOG. 378 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,281 - YOU SHOULD JUST COPY THE EAGLETON ONE. 379 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,950 I USED TO JUST COPY THE EAGLETON ONE. 380 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,184 - DID YOU? 381 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,286 I WAS HOPING THAT MAYBE YOU COULD TALK TO ME A LITTLE BIT 382 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,455 ABOUT HOW THE DEPARTMENT HAS CHANGED SINCE YOU RAN IT. 383 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,290 - WELL, I THINK YOU'VE DONE A WONDERFUL JOB 384 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,892 MAINTAINING THE PARKS. 385 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,293 - THANK YOU, MICHAEL. I APPRECIATE THAT. 386 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,828 DID YOU ENJOY YOUR TURN AT THE HELM? 387 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:15,996 - OH, IN A WAY. 388 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,464 UM, PENCIL-PUSHING WASN'T REALLY MY THING, 389 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,132 BUT I DID LOVE THE PARKS THEMSELVES. 390 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,901 THAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE JOB. 391 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,135 - OH, ISN'T IT? I TOTALLY AGREE. 392 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,304 WELL, THANK GOODNESS FOR YOU. [laughs] 393 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,974 - YES, THANK GOODNESS FOR MICHAEL. 394 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,508 ARE YOU STILL ON PAROLE, BY THE WAY? 395 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,478 - OH, HA HA, VERY FUNNY, RON. 396 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,346 - Y-Y-YES, RON, I AM. - WHAT? 397 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,315 - HE SMOKED POT IN THE OFFICE 398 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,450 AND IN ALL THE PARKS CONSTANTLY. 399 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,452 - IN FAIRNESS TO ME, IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME. 400 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,489 IT WAS THE EARLY '90s, BUT ALSO IT'S RIDICULOUS 401 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,191 THAT MARIJUANA IS ILLEGAL. 402 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,994 THOMAS JEFFERSON GREW HEMP. 403 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:50,130 ALCOHOL IS LEGAL, BUT POT ISN'T? 404 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,398 [scoffs] 405 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,599 THAT MAKES SENSE TO YOU, RON? 406 00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,434 - I'M SORRY. I CAN'T HEAR HIPPIES. 407 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:55,535 [chuckles] 408 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,137 [light laughter] 409 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,972 - SO IF YOU HAD TO SLEEP WITH ONE OF THE OLD GUYS, 410 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,473 WHO WOULD IT BE? 411 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:01,608 - THE SUPER OLD ONE. 412 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,243 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 413 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,478 I'M AN EYEBROW GIRL. 414 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,414 I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM AND CHEW HIS EYEBROWS OFF. 415 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,616 - [laughing] THAT IS... 416 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,384 REALLY GROSS. 417 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,120 - ANYBODY GOT ANY WATER? 418 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,155 - [mockingly] "OH, I WANT WATER. I'M SO OLD. 419 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,456 I NEED TO DRINK WATER." - OH, STOP IT. 420 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,425 STOP TAUNTING HIM. 421 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,093 - I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP, JAILBIRD. 422 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,295 - IF THERE'S ANY UNCLAIMED MEAT OR CHEESE, 423 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,563 I WOULD LIKE TO CLAIM IT. 424 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,098 - YEAH, LIKE YOU CLAIMED MY JOB? 425 00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,033 - YES, EXACTLY LIKE THAT, 426 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,567 IN THAT I WANTED IT, AND THEN I TOOK IT. 427 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,136 - OKAY, GUYS, YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD LOVE? 428 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,471 I'D LOVE IF ANYBODY JUST SAID SOMETHING POSITIVE 429 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,373 ABOUT--OH, I DON'T KNOW-- ANYTHING. 430 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,442 - I AGREE. LET'S JUST RELAX, SMOKE ANOTHER "J," 431 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,210 AND ALL CALM DOWN. 432 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,311 - ANOTHER? 433 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,613 - BY THE WAY, IT'S RIDICULOUS THAT POT IS ILLEGAL. 434 00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:43,450 - OH. - IT GROWS... 435 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,417 IN THE GROUND. 436 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,453 I'VE PLANTED MARIJUANA IN COMMUNITY GARDENS 437 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,555 ALL OVER THE CITY, AND IT HASN'T HURT ANYONE. 438 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,157 - WHAT? - YOU KNOW, MICHAEL, 439 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,491 YOU ARE ONE POT-LOVING [bleep] 440 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,526 MOTHER[bleep] PAIN IN THE RECTUM. 441 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,627 - OKAY, STOP IT. STOP IT. 442 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,529 YOU'RE ALL BEING AWFUL, HORRIBLE MEN. 443 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,330 - UH-OH. 444 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,466 YOUR LITTLE FRIEND COME TO VISIT? 445 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,467 - [laughing] 446 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,302 - CLARENCE, IF YOU MENTION 447 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,472 ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN OR MENSTRUATION 448 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,474 OR ANYTHING, I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR FACE, 449 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,176 AND I'M GONNA SHOVE IT IN THOSE BRAMBLES. 450 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,510 - YES. - NO, YOU'RE NEXT, BUDDY. 451 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,512 ANDY! LET'S TAKE THIS PICTURE. 452 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,147 COME ON, GET OUT OF YOUR SEAT, TURDS. 453 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,448 - WHAT? - LINE UP OVER THERE. 454 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,550 COME ON. JUST PLEASE TRY TO LOOK HUMAN, 455 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,319 ALL RIGHT, AND NOT SO EVIL. 456 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,453 EVERYBODY, LOOKY HERE. 457 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,189 ONE, TWO, THREE-- THANK YOU SO MUCH 458 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,023 FOR THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES. 459 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,524 EVERYBODY TAKE THEIR STUFF AND GO. 460 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:27,627 - OOH, OOH, CAN WE DO ONE FUNNY-FACE ONE? 461 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,364 - DO YOU HAVE THAT PICTURE THAT ANDY TOOK? 462 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,732 MAYBE I'LL RUN IT WITHOUT ANY TEXT. 463 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,001 - YEAH. 464 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,102 I TRIED TO PHOTOSHOP IT TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY WERE HAPPY. 465 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,371 IT WAS REALLY HARD. THEIR MOUTHS ARE JUST SO OLD. 466 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,673 - GOD, LOOK AT THESE HORRIBLE MEN. 467 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:43,343 YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I WANT THEM IN MY CATALOG. 468 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,711 - WOULD YOU LIKE... 469 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,346 THESE MEN IN YOUR CATALOG? 470 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,415 - OH, MY GOD, APRIL. THAT'S DISGUSTING. 471 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,617 - WHAT? LOOK HOW GENEROUS THEY'RE BEING WITH EACH OTHER. 472 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,419 - AND HERE'S THE OBSTRUCTION SERIES. 473 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,387 WHAT DO YOU THINK? AMAZING, RIGHT? 474 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,656 I CALL THIS ONE "THE FUTURE." 475 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:59,192 - IT'S COMPLETELY BLURRY. 476 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:02,996 - YES, IT IS, ANN. 477 00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:05,365 - WHAT ABOUT THE ONES WE TOOK ON THE SWING--THE NORMAL ONES? 478 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:09,269 - YOU MEAN THE "UNHAPPY WIFE" PHOTOS? 479 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,671 - OH, MY GOD. THESE ARE EVEN WORSE SOMEHOW. 480 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,773 I LOOK MISERABLE. 481 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,475 - YOU DO LOOK KIND OF MISERABLE. 482 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,477 - NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT BY, "MAKE YOUR FACE BETTER." 483 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,512 - WAS THERE SOMETHING WRONG, ANN? I-- 484 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,349 - WELL, I'D JUST GOTTEN OFF A LONG SHIFT. 485 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,251 HE WAS BEING REALLY ANNOYING. 486 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,285 - MARK LOOKS HAPPY. 487 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,453 - UGH. JUST-- 488 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,588 PLEASE DON'T USE THESE, OKAY? 489 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,357 LET'S GRAB SOME DINNER. 490 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,593 - SURE. 491 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,362 - HEY, RON, YOU WANT ME TO READ YOU 492 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,130 WHAT I HAVE SO FAR IN MY WELCOME LETTER? 493 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,265 NOTHING... 494 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,732 BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR JERK PREDECESSORS 495 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,035 DIDN'T GIVE ME ANYTHING TO WORK WITH. 496 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,403 - DID YOU... 497 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,571 PRINT THIS OUT? 498 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,573 I HEARD THE PRINTER GOING. - YES. 499 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,741 - YOU COULD'VE JUST HANDED ME A BLANK PIECE OF PAPER. 500 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,810 - OH, WISDOM-- FINALLY. 501 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,911 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 502 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:55,415 YOU CAN ALSO KEEP THE PHOTO. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES. 503 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,449 - GOOD GOD. 504 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,584 I DON'T REMEMBER THIS. 505 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,386 - THAT-- THAT'S THE WRONG ONE. 506 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,588 BUT THE REAL ONE'S VERY BAD AS WELL. 507 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,456 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M REPLACING 508 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:04,724 THE WELCOME LETTER WITH THIS AD 509 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,426 FOR YEARNING BY DENNIS FEINSTEIN. 510 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,396 SO GOOD-BYE, DISTILLED WISDOM OF 50 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. 511 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,498 HELLO, DISGUSTING FRAGRANCE FLAP. 512 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,201 - LET ME BUY YOU DINNER. - NO. 513 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,303 I INSIST YOU BUY ME DINNER. 514 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,738 - GET A DRINK OR WHATEVER. IT'S COOL. 515 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,273 - I.D.? - I'M 24. 516 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,275 - NO, YOU'RE NOT. 517 00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:25,378 - OKAY, I'M 25-- NO OLD JOKES, PLEASE. 518 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:26,413 - I.D. 519 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,582 - [muttering] 520 00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,355 - IT SAYS RIGHT HERE YOU'RE 20. 521 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,756 SERIOUSLY? 522 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,526 YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA SHOW ME A FAKE? 523 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,795 - SOMETIMES THE CONFIDENCE CONFUSES PEOPLE. 524 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,098 - YOU'RE GOOD, BRO. - YOU KNOW WHAT? 525 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,433 I THINK I'LL JUST-- 526 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,567 I'M GONNA-- - UM, HEY... 527 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,403 UM, I KNOW ANOTHER BAR THAT ALWAYS LETS--LETS ME IN, 528 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,639 IF YOU JUST WANT TO GO THERE, 529 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:55,275 IF YOU WANT TO GO DO THAT. - UH, YEAH, ACTUALLY... 530 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,343 I SHOULD BE GOING HOME. 531 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,111 I GOT A LOT OF STUFF TO DO, 532 00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,479 SO I SHOULD GO HOME... 533 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:02,115 CLEAN AND STUFF. 534 00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,583 BUT... 535 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,419 - YEAH, OKAY, COOL. YEAH, I GOT TO... 536 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,388 GO HOME TOO, SO... 537 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,457 - ALL RIGHT. 538 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,392 SEE YA. 539 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,627 - LATER. 540 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,665 - THE USUAL, MARTA. 541 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:19,799 - ME TOO, MARTA. 542 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,734 - YOU GOT IT. - [sighing] OH, RON... 543 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,237 I REALLY MADE LOVE TO THE POOCH ON THIS ONE. 544 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,605 - SCREWED THE POOCH? 545 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,674 - I DON'T LIKE THAT TERM. IT'S SO VULGAR. 546 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,209 [inhales sharply] 547 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,678 [groaning] RON. 548 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,614 THAT SUCKED TODAY. I'M SORRY. THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO SAY IT. 549 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,217 - THEY'RE A BUNCH OF CAREER BUREAUCRATS. 550 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,319 WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY WERE GONNA SAY TO YOU? 551 00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,554 - "LESLIE, YOU ARE THE NEXT LINK IN A WONDERFUL CHAIN 552 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,390 "THAT STRETCHES BACK TO WHEN OUR TOWN WAS FOUNDED. 553 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,857 "AND WE BELIEVE IN YOU, AND WE SUPPORT YOU, 554 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,693 "AND WE'LL BE FOLLOWING YOUR CAREER. 555 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:47,927 YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE." 556 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,662 OR SOMETHING. 557 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,698 - WELL, OKAY, SO THAT WAS THE PROBLEM. 558 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,400 - NO, YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS, 559 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,402 IS I WANT TO BE PARKS DIRECTOR, 560 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,205 BUT EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO WAS PARKS DIRECTOR HATED THEIR JOB 561 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,407 AND HATED EVERYONE THEY WORKED WITH. 562 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,709 [sighs] 563 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,777 ARE WE GONNA HATE EACH OTHER SOMEDAY? 564 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,547 - I DON'T THINK SO. - HUH. 565 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,516 - I THINK WE'RE GONNA BE FINE. 566 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,219 - ANYWAY, THE POINT'S MOOT, 567 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,720 BECAUSE YOU'RE PARK DIRECTOR NOW, 568 00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:14,854 AND YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, 569 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,689 AND I'M NOT MAKING YOU GO ANYWHERE. 570 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,226 I'M NOT GONNA STAB YOU IN THE BACK OR ANYTHING, SO... 571 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,560 MAYBE I SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE. 572 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,230 MAYBE I SHOULD MOVE TO EAGLETON. 573 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,697 OH, GOD, THE THOUGHT OF THAT. 574 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,634 - LESLIE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOVE TO EAGLETON. 575 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,636 WHEN I BECOME CITY MANAGER, 576 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,870 MY JOB IS YOURS. 577 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,574 OF COURSE, MY FIRST ACT AS CITY MANAGER 578 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,577 WILL BE TO PROPOSE ELIMINATING THE PARKS DEPARTMENT, 579 00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:40,413 ALTHOUGH I EXPECT A SPIRITED DEBATE WITH LESLIE. 580 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:42,749 - WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR ME? 581 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,753 MAYBE I'LL LEAPFROG RON'S JOB AND BECOME CITY MANAGER. 582 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,721 OF COURSE, MY FIRST ACT AS CITY MANAGER 583 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:51,558 WOULD BE TO DOUBLE THE SIZE OF THE PARKS DEPARTMENT, 584 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:55,728 ALTHOUGH I DO EXPECT A FIGHT FROM RON. 585 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,364 BUT I'LL WIN. 586 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,732 - MMM, OH! THANK YOU, DARLING. 587 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:00,667 - OH, WHY WOULD ANYBODY 588 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,635 EVER EAT ANYTHING BESIDES BREAKFAST FOOD? 589 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:05,772 - PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS, LESLIE. 590 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,643 - MMM. - MMM. 591 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,580 - THE WAIT IS OVER. - OH, YAY! 592 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,782 - YAY! LOOK WHAT'S HERE. 593 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,717 WHAT WE GOT... 594 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,018 - "MY FELLOW PAWNEEANS, 595 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,753 "YES, IT'S HERE. 596 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,690 "THE PARKS DEPARTMENT'S SUMMER CATALOG HAS ARRIVED. 597 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,493 "AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS, TENNIS IS BACK. 598 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,895 "PERUSE THIS WONDROUS BOOK AT YOUR LEISURE 599 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,330 "AND TAKE ADVANTAGE 600 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,399 "OF EVERYTHING THIS GREAT TOWN HAS TO OFFER. 601 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,402 "TIME IS FLEETING, MY FELLOW PAWNEEANS. 602 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:38,738 "MAKE THE MOST OF IT WHILE YOU CAN. 603 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,707 "I RECENTLY HAD THE HONOR OF SPENDING AN AFTERNOON 604 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,743 "WITH EVERY LIVING, FORMER PARKS DIRECTOR, 605 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,045 "AND THEY TAUGHT ME A VALUABLE LESSON-- 606 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,715 THERE'S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN FRIENDSHIP." 607 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,684 - IT'S A LITTLE FLOWERY. 608 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:52,752 - SHUT UP. 609 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,856 - I GOT TO HAND IT TO MICHAEL. 610 00:20:56,889 --> 00:21:00,893 HIS WATER-PIPE-MAKING SKILLS WERE MOST IMPRESSIVE. 611 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,028 I ONCE SAW HIM SMOKE POT 612 00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:05,832 OUT OF A 20-FOOT LENGTH OF GARDEN HOSE AND A MILK JUG. 613 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,868 THAT GUY MADE A WATER PIPE OUT OF A STUFFED RACCOON. 614 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,337 - NO WAY. - NO, I'M NOT KIDDING. 615 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:11,971 - HE MADE A BONG OUT OF A TAXIDERMIED RACCOON? 616 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,973 - I CAUGHT HIM SMOKING POT OUT OF IT 617 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,676 NOT THREE FEET FROM WHERE WE'RE STANDING. 618 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,845 [thunk] - OH, NICE SHOT! 619 00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:22,315 - RIGHT IN CLARENCE'S ANCIENT JUNK. 620 00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:23,983 - OH! - OH! 621 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,017 - IN THE NECK!