1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:02,803 - IF YOU LOOK INSIDE YOUR BAGS, 2 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,438 YOU WILL FIND A FEW THINGS. 3 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,341 A BOUQUET OF HAND-CROCHETED FLOWER PENS... 4 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:09,077 - OH. 5 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,179 - A MOSAIC PORTRAIT OF EACH OF YOU 6 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,682 MADE FROM THE CRUSHED BOTTLES OF YOUR FAVORITE DIET SODA, 7 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,684 AND A PERSONALIZED 5,000-WORD ESSAY 8 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,253 OF WHY YOU'RE ALL SO AWESOME. 9 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,754 WHAT'S GALENTINE'S DAY? 10 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,057 OH, IT'S ONLY THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR. 11 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,658 EVERY FEBRUARY 13th, 12 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:25,693 MY LADY FRIENDS AND I 13 00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,528 LEAVE OUR HUSBANDS AND OUR BOYFRIENDS AT HOME, 14 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,131 AND WE JUST COME AND KICK IT, BREAKFAST-STYLE. 15 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,200 LADIES CELEBRATING LADIES. 16 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,667 IT'S LIKE LILITH FAIR, 17 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,503 MINUS THE ANGST. 18 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,638 PLUS FRITTATAS. 19 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,241 SO TO CONCLUDE OUR GALENTINE'S DAY BREAKFAST, 20 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:43,411 IT IS TIME FOR THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD. 21 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,246 [applause] 22 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,414 - WHAT'S THE STORY? 23 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,282 - IT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC STORY EVER. 24 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:51,785 IT MAKES THE NOTEBOOK LOOK LIKE SAW V. 25 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,554 GO, MOM, GO. 26 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,256 - IT WAS 1968. 27 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:58,692 I WAS 18, AND OUR FAMILY WENT ON A VACATION TO BERMUDA. 28 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,662 AND ON THE FIRST DAY, I WENT FOR A SWIM 29 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:05,666 IN THE OCEAN, AND I GOT CAUGHT 30 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,501 IN A VERY STRONG CURRENT. 31 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:08,702 - [gasps] 32 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,371 - YOU'VE HEARD THIS STORY BEFORE, RIGHT? 33 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,472 - YES, BUT THE DRAMA. 34 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:17,545 - THE NEXT THING I FELT WERE TWO VERY POWERFUL ARMS 35 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,747 WHISKING ME TO SAFETY. 36 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,882 AND HE LOOKED DOWN AT ME, AND HE SAID, 37 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,619 "ARE YOU OKAY?" 38 00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:27,888 AND I LOOKED UP AT HIM, AND I SAID, 39 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,758 "I AM NOW." 40 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,426 - SO THEY SNEAK OUT TO MEET EACH OTHER 41 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,494 AND WALK ON THE BEACH, 42 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,796 AND, TWO WEEKS LATER, HE ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM 43 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,598 AND MOVE TO ILLINOIS. 44 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,500 BUT HER PARENTS THOUGHT SHE WAS TOO YOUNG, 45 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,568 SO SHE SAID NO. 46 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,769 AND THEN THEY LOST TOUCH, 47 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,604 AND, A FEW YEARS LATER, SHE MET MY DAD. 48 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,639 - I GOT TO TAKE ONE OF THOSE LIFEGUARD COURSES. 49 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,175 THOSE GUYS GET ALL THE ACTION. 50 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,242 AM I RIGHT, JUSTIN? 51 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,543 - WE GOT TO FIND THIS GUY. - FRANK? 52 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,445 HE'S PROBABLY MARRIED. OR DEAD. 53 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:52,613 - [scoffs] WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 54 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:53,714 AM I RIGHT, JUSTIN? 55 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,316 - AT LEAST LET ME TRY AND FIND HIM. 56 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,551 IMAGINE HOW MUCH BETTER THAT STORY WOULD BE 57 00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:01,355 IF WE ACTUALLY REUNITED THEM. 58 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,324 - I THINK JUSTIN'S RIGHT. YOU SHOULD LET HIM DO THIS. 59 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,393 - OKAY. DO IT. 60 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,660 BUT IF YOU FIND HIM AND HE'S WEIRD, 61 00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,829 LIKE A VENTRILOQUIST OR A PUPPETEER 62 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,699 OR ANYONE WHO PRETENDS TOYS ARE PEOPLE, 63 00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:12,800 THEN ABORT THE MISSION. 64 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:16,870 both: ABSOLUTELY. - [laughs] 65 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,673 [triumphant music] 66 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:27,715 * 67 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,627 - YOU. YOU'RE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER. 68 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,530 - OH. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 69 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,698 - I KNEW, EVENTUALLY, SOMEHOW, 70 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,867 BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU WOULD TOTALLY PAY OFF. 71 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,503 - I BOUGHT HIM SOME ACTUAL TOWELS. 72 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,305 HE WAS USING A BATHROBE. 73 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:54,275 AND I BOUGHT HIM SOME OTHER THINGS THAT HUMANS USUALLY USE, 74 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,509 LIKE SHAMPOO. 75 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,544 - TROOPS, GATHER AROUND. 76 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,412 GREAT NEWS. 77 00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,548 THE SENIOR CENTER VALENTINE'S DANCE IS TOMORROW 78 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,715 FROM 5:00 TO 9:00. 79 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,617 - ARE WE TALKING A.M. OR P.M.? 80 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,787 THOSE PEOPLE ARE OLD! AM I RIGHT, JUSTIN? 81 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,689 OH. JUSTIN'S NOT HERE. 82 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,424 - IT ISN'T JUST A JOB, GANG. 83 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:11,825 WE'RE GONNA LEARN A LOT FROM THESE SENIORS. 84 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:16,397 SOME OF THEM HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR HALF A CENTURY. 85 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:19,233 AND, NO OFFENSE, BUT EVERYBODY HERE IS TERRIBLE AT LOVE. 86 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:23,671 DIVORCED, DATING A GAY GUY, DIVORCED TWICE, 87 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,738 JURY'S STILL OUT ON YOU TWO. 88 00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,307 - OH. 89 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,741 - AND, JERRY, WHO KNOWS? 90 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,710 - I'VE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR 28 YEARS. 91 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:30,944 YOU'VE MET MY WIFE GAYLE MANY TIMES. 92 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:34,582 - WHATEVER. FINALLY, ANN AND MARK ARE OUR SPECIAL VOLUNTEERS, 93 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,251 AND THEY WILL BE AVAILABLE WHENEVER NEEDED. 94 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,586 - I DIDN'T VOLUNTEER. 95 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,421 - YEAH, TOO BAD. YOU GOT DRAFTED. 96 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,523 [imitating JFK] ASK NOT WHAT 97 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,625 YOUR OLD PEOPLE COULD DO FOR YOU. 98 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,594 ASK WHAT YOU COULD DO FOR YOUR OLD PEOPLE. 99 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,795 - TERMINATOR. 100 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,597 - WHAT? NO. JFK. 101 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:50,898 [imitating Schwarzenegger] THIS MEETING 102 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,566 HAS BEEN TERMINATED. 103 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,602 [regular voice] THAT IS THE TERMINATOR. 104 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,338 - NICE. - WHERE AM I GOING? 105 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,575 - WELL, HELLO THERE. - WELL, HEY. 106 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,277 I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. 107 00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,645 YOU WANTED TO TALK? 108 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,946 - YES, I DO. - OH. 109 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,781 [romantic music plays] - HAVE A SEAT. 110 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,983 * 111 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,685 SOME CHAMPAGNE? 112 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:12,986 - UH, NO, THANKS. 113 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,723 - COME ON. THIS IS ARMAND DE BRIGNAC. 114 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,691 JAY-Z DRINKS THIS. - YEAH, WELL, JAY-Z DOESN'T HAVE 115 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:18,959 TO PERFORM SURGERY IN AN HOUR. 116 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,060 - YOU DON'T KNOW JAY-Z'S SCHEDULE. 117 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,495 HE'S A RENAISSANCE MAN. 118 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:22,663 - [laughs] 119 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,664 - OKAY, FINE. 120 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,466 WELL, THIS IS FOR YOU. 121 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,634 - OH. 122 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:27,701 - WELL, IT'S ALMOST VALENTINE'S DAY, 123 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:31,505 SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD DAY TO TELL YOU... 124 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:35,376 - OKAY, LET ME JUST STOP YOU RIGHT THERE. 125 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:40,614 LOOK, TOMMY... [music stops] 126 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,784 I-I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M SO GRATEFUL 127 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,387 FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR ME. 128 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,622 BUT I ONLY SEE US AS FRIENDS. 129 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,090 - FOR NOW. 130 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,693 BUT THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER OUR FRIENDSHIP WOULD BE 131 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,028 IF WE ADDED DOING IT. 132 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,465 SERIOUSLY. 133 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,599 I KNOW OUR MARRIAGE WAS FAKE, 134 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,734 BUT THERE'S SOMETHING BETWEEN US, 135 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,604 AND I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE IT A SHOT FOR REAL. 136 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,674 - I JUST DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU. 137 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,511 I'M SORRY. 138 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,689 - * EACH TIME I DO 139 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,724 * JUST THE THOUGHT OF YOU * 140 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,093 * MAKES ME STOP BEFORE I BEGIN * 141 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,561 * 142 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:30,531 * I GOT YOU 143 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,566 * UNDER MY SKIN 144 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,368 SO THERE'S THAT ONE, I GUESS. 145 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:36,470 - ALL RIGHT. YOU GUYS SOUND READY FOR THE DANCE TOMORROW. 146 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,639 - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THESE OLD FOGEY SONGS, LESLIE. 147 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,508 WHY CAN'T WE JUST DO OUR ORIGINALS? 148 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,410 I JUST WROTE A NEW SONG, OKAY. 149 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,645 BOTTOM LINE: IT'S CALLED SEX HAIR. 150 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,747 IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU CAN TELL WHEN SOMEONE'S JUST HAD SEX 151 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,682 'CAUSE OF HOW THEIR HAIR GETS MATTED UP IN THE BACK. 152 00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:50,451 IT'S AWESOME. 153 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,652 - THINK OF IT THIS WAY. 154 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:55,389 THESE SONG ARE EXACTLY LIKE THE SONGS YOU USUALLY PLAY, 155 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:59,159 EXCEPT INSTEAD OF MODERN ROCK, THEY'RE OLD JAZZY STANDARDS 156 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,062 FROM THE '40s. 157 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,131 - OKAY. YEAH. YOU GOT A POINT. 158 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,766 - YEAH. YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT. 159 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,669 - ALL RIGHT, GUYS. - HEY, ANDY. 160 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,771 I'VE BEEN HERE FOR A HALF AN HOUR. CAN I GET MY SHOESHINE? 161 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,573 - DUDE, KYLE, I'M GONNA LOSE MY [bleep] ON YOU 162 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,142 IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME. 163 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:18,178 - I FOUND HIM. 164 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,648 FRANK BECKERSON. 165 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,717 63, LIVES IN A LITTLE TOWN CALLED BRIDGEPORT. 166 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:24,918 ILLINOIS. 167 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:29,022 DIVORCED, NO KIDS, WORKED AS A LIFEGUARD WHEN HE WAS 20. 168 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,560 - RON, I NEED A HALF A DAY OFF 169 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,161 FOR A SECRET MISSION OF LOVE. 170 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,164 - YOU'RE ASKING MY PERMISSION TO TAKE A NOONER? 171 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,666 - SURE. WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 172 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,668 MAYBE. JUSTIN AND I NEED TO GO 173 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:41,935 ON A ROMANTICALLY INSPIRED ROAD TRIP. 174 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,103 - SO IT IS A NOONER. 175 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,538 - WELL, WE'RE PLANNING 176 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,707 TO LEAVE AROUND NOON, SO I'M NOT QUITE SURE-- 177 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,708 - LESLIE, IT'S NOT A NOONER. 178 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,910 I TRACKED DOWN THIS OLD FLAME OF LESLIE'S MOM. 179 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,512 WE'RE GONNA GO PICK HIM UP. 180 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,781 WE'RE GONNA REUNITE THEM ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 181 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,616 A GREAT STORY OR WHAT? 182 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,618 - YEAH, GREAT STORY INDEED. 183 00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,853 ENJOY YOUR HALF DAY OFF. - THANK YOU. 184 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,555 - PICK YOU UP TOMORROW AROUND NOON. 185 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,657 - FOR OUR NOONER, WHICH IS A CUTE WORD. 186 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,192 - EXPLAIN IT TO HER LATER. 187 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,660 - EXPLAIN WHAT? 188 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:09,530 - HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 189 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:14,067 FIRST OFF, A BEAR IN A PAPER BAG AND A HEART-SHAPED BALLOON. 190 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,770 - I LOVE BEARS AND BAGS. 191 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,171 - WELL, YOU'LL LIKE THIS THEN, 192 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:21,041 BECAUSE THIS IS A GIANT TEDDY BEAR 193 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,676 HOLDING A RED HEART. 194 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,678 - OHH. - FESTIVE. 195 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:25,546 WHAT'S THIS? OH, I DON'T KNOW. 196 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,681 IT'S A HEART-SHAPED BOX OF CHOCOLATES. 197 00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:30,884 THAT'S A DOZEN RED ROSES IN A HEART-SHAPED ARRANGEMENT. 198 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,986 SEE THAT. PERFUME. 199 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,655 - OOH. - FOR THE LADY. 200 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:35,689 - OOH. - OH, YEAH. 201 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:36,824 - YEARNING, 202 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,759 BY DENNIS FEINSTEIN. 203 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,594 MM. OOH. 204 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,996 DENNIS, NO. NO, DENNIS. 205 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,599 - FINALLY, THE HEART OF THE OCEAN. 206 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:48,201 - [gasps] GORGEOUS. 207 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,571 OH. [laughs] 208 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,105 - YOU KNOW, I NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO GET A GIRL 209 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,875 A CLICHED VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT BEFORE, 210 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,511 SO I GOT YOU ALL OF 'EM. 211 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,782 - THANK YOU. THAT WAS VERY SWEET. 212 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,651 - DO YOU THINK THEY'LL GET MARRIED? 213 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,885 OH, MY GOD. WHAT IF THEY GET MARRIED? 214 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,219 - THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. 215 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,756 - [laughs] WOULD I CALL HIM DAD THEN? 216 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,591 - YEAH. - NO, THAT'D BE TOO MUCH. 217 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,193 MAYBE I'LL CALL HIM PAPPY. POP. 218 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,262 POPPY. PAPA. 219 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,930 OH, LOOK AT ME, I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. 220 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,632 - HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW. 221 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:22,670 - I'M GONNA CALL HIM POO-PAW. 222 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:25,172 HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET TO REUNITE SOUL MATES? 223 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,875 WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD REUNITE ROMEO AND JULIET? 224 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:32,179 OR BRAD PITT AND JENNIFER ANISTON? 225 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:36,784 OH, JEN, I REALLY WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. 226 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,619 STAY AWAY FROM JOHN MAYER. 227 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:39,620 [doorbell rings] 228 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,789 I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M GONNA MEET FRANK BECKERSON. 229 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,658 I FEEL LIKE I'VE KNOWN HIM MY WHOLE LIFE. 230 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,060 FRANK? 231 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,630 - MY GOD! 232 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,265 MARLENE. - OH, NO, POO-PAW. POO-PAW, NO. 233 00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,767 I'M NOT MARLENE. 234 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:56,303 - OH, I'M SO SORRY. 235 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,905 I SHOULD REALLY WEAR MY GLASSES. 236 00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,741 COME ON IN. 237 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,713 - FRANK, I WAS WONDERING, 238 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,848 MY MOM ALWAYS SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO BE A LAWYER. 239 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:08,849 DID THAT WORK OUT? 240 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,918 - NO. NEVER DID. 241 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:14,021 THOUGH I DID ONCE ACT AS MY OWN LAWYER. 242 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,589 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, 243 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,958 I FOUND SOME OLD PICTURES OF MARLENE AND ME. 244 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,928 LOOK. - [gasps] 245 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,730 LOOK HOW YOUNG SHE IS. 246 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,264 - THESE ARE AMAZING. 247 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,034 - PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SHOW YOU THIS ONE. 248 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,602 - OH, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. 249 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,237 NO, THANK YOU. 250 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,272 - YOU MOM WAS SUCH A FIRECRACKER. 251 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,908 SMART, FUNNY, SHARP AS A TACK. 252 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,210 SUCH FIRM BREASTS. 253 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,046 OH, THAT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. 254 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:42,950 OH, WOW, I'M JUST, ALL OF A SUDDEN, 255 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:46,353 SO NERVOUS TO SEE HER AGAIN. [exhales] 256 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,255 I'M GONNA THROW UP REAL QUICK, 257 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,991 AND THEN WE CAN LEAVE. 258 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,960 - HI. - HI. 259 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,962 - VALENTINE'S BASH AT THE BULGE TONIGHT. 260 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,229 WE CAN GET YOU A DRINK BRACELET. 261 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,931 - I CAN'T. I'VE GOT TO WORK 262 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,901 AT THIS SENIOR CENTER VALENTINE'S DAY DANCE THING. 263 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,870 - THAT SOUNDS AMAZING. CAN WE COME? 264 00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,072 - I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO. 265 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,807 - BECAUSE OLD PEOPLE ARE FUNNY. 266 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,208 - YEAH. IT'LL BE LIKE THE GOLDEN GIRLS. 267 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:12,846 - I HAVE TO GO GET READY. 268 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,048 - SO, FRANK, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE PAST 40 YEARS? 269 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,084 - OH, YOU KNOW, HERE AND THERE. 270 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,286 YOU KNOW, GRENADA FOR A WHILE. 271 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,890 THEN PANAMA. THEN AFGHANISTAN. 272 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,057 - SO YOU WERE IN THE MILITARY? 273 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,392 - NOPE. 274 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,861 YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS WONDER HOW DIFFERENT 275 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:30,931 MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN IF YOUR MOTHER HAD MARRIED ME. 276 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,332 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. 277 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,901 I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH. 278 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,435 [hyperventilates] 279 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,938 - FRANK? FRANK, ARE YOU OKAY? 280 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,440 - I'M FINE. I'M GOOD. 281 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,844 OH, I AM JUST SO NERVOUS 282 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,978 TO SEE HER. 283 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,880 - THERE IS NOTHING TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT. 284 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,849 - OH, HAVE YOU GOT A BAG OR SOMETHING? 285 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,051 - DO YOU HAVE A BAG? - I HAVE A PURSE. 286 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,085 - WELL, GIVE HIM YOUR PURSE. 287 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,856 - ALL RIGHT. 288 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,159 - [breathing calms] 289 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,961 - * YOU LIKE POT-AY-TO 290 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,830 * AND I LIKE POT-AH-TO 291 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,431 * YOU LIKE TOM-AY-TO 292 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,899 * AND I LIKE TOM-AH-TO 293 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,768 * POT-AY-TO, POT-AH-TO 294 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,237 * TOM-AY-TO, TOM-AH-TO 295 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:14,942 * LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF * 296 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,910 UH, I MEAN, THAT SUCKED, DIDN'T IT? 297 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:20,013 - MAYBE IF YOU SANG IT LIKE LOUIS ARMSTRONG? 298 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,749 - MAYBE. YEAH. 299 00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,483 I MEAN, HERE'S THE THING, THOUGH. 300 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,854 WHO IS THAT? 301 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,957 MY PROBLEM IS I DON'T KNOW 302 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,725 HOW TO TELL IF WE'RE DOING GOOD 303 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:32,726 BECAUSE, WHEN YOU PLAY A ROCK SHOW, 304 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,762 IT'S REALLY EASY TO KNOW IF YOU'RE DOING GREAT 305 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,397 BECAUSE CHICKS WILL FLASH THEIR BOOBS AT YOU 306 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,531 WHEN YOU'RE UP ON STAGE. 307 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,902 YOU'RE LIKE, OH, THAT MUST HAVE SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD. 308 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,470 BUT I CAN'T-- IF THAT HAPPENS HERE, 309 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:47,841 MY EYES WILL FALL OUT OF MY HEAD, AND I'LL DIE. 310 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,414 - FRANK? FRANK, ARE YOU OKAY? 311 00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,887 - MAYBE WE SHOULD-- - YEAH. 312 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,022 - FRANK! - FRANK! 313 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,892 - FRANK! - FRANK! 314 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:09,897 - * I CAN'T SEE ANYBODY BUT YOU * 315 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,131 * ZIP FLOP 316 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,165 - YOU KNOW, I MIGHT BE CRAZY, 317 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,967 BUT I HAVE THIS WEIRD SUSPICION 318 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,369 THAT THINGS ARE GOING WELL WITH US. 319 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,372 - YOU KNOW, I HAVE THAT SAME SUSPICION. 320 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,910 - BUT, YOU KNOW, HAVING NEVER BEEN IN SOMETHING 321 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,045 LIKE THIS BEFORE, I FEEL THE NEED TO ASK, 322 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,180 HOW AM I DOING? 323 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,016 - OH, COME ON. 324 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:33,186 - NO, I'M SORT OF SERIOUS. 325 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:34,988 ALL RIGHT, FINE. FORGET IT. 326 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,091 I'M JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW, 327 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,093 IT SEEMS TO ME ON PAPER 328 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,394 THAT THIS THING WE HAVE IS PRETTY GREAT. 329 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,897 - YES, NERD, ON PAPER, 330 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,066 THIS THING WE HAVE IS PRETTY GREAT. 331 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,801 MARK IS A GREAT BOYFRIEND. 332 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,837 I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS AT ALL. 333 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:53,874 EVERYTHING IS GOOD. 334 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,146 - I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS. 335 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:02,349 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS SO MUCH FUN. 336 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,517 LOOK, WE TOOK A ROAD TRIP TODAY. 337 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,320 WE CHASED YOUR MOM'S LONG-LOST LOVE DOWN A FREEWAY. 338 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:08,922 - HE'S A LOON, JUSTIN. 339 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:09,789 - SO HE FREAKED OUT A LITTLE BIT. 340 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,024 HE GOT NERVOUS. I MEAN, YOU WOULD TOO. 341 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,960 AND HE WAS FINE BY THE TIME WE GOT HIM BACK INSIDE THE CAR. 342 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,394 - YEAH, WELL, HE CRIED HIMSELF TO SLEEP. 343 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,563 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE PUSHING. 344 00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,331 WHY DO YOU WANT HIM TO SPEND TIME WITH MY MOM? 345 00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,033 HOW WOULD THAT HELP HER? 346 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,869 I DON'T LIKE THIS. I DON'T THINK THIS IS GONNA WORK. 347 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,937 I'M CALLING THIS OFF. - COME ON. NO, NO, NO. 348 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,839 LOOK, WE'RE HERE. JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 349 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,507 - WHAT HAPPENS IS I DRIVE HIM HOME. 350 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:28,541 - NOW, LOOK, YOU NEED TO BREATHE. 351 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:32,245 - I'M BREATHING, OKAY-- 352 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:40,287 MOM. - OH, THERE YOU ARE. 353 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,522 SO WHAT'S THE BIG SURPRISE? 354 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,624 YOU GONNA TRY TO CHECK ME INTO AN OLD FOLKS' HOME? 355 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,226 - IT'S A LONG STORY. 356 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,328 ONE THAT WE'D LOVE TO TELL YOU OVER A CUP OF COFFEE 357 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:49,997 SOMEWHERE FAR FROM THIS PLACE. 358 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,236 - FRANK. 359 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,006 - HELLO, MARLENE. 360 00:13:59,039 --> 00:13:59,739 - MY GOD. 361 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:03,243 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REALLY YOU. 362 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,980 - WANT TO CATCH UP? 363 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:10,050 - SURE. 364 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:13,954 - * WE'RE LESS THAN PERFECT * 365 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,022 - OH, BOY. 366 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,890 - OH, BOY. 367 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,894 - DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD STAND BY-- 368 00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:21,895 - SHH. SHH. SHH. 369 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,363 SHE'S FINE. 370 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:27,334 LET'S JUST LET THIS UNFOLD. 371 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,336 - [as an old person] COME HERE, SONNY. 372 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,504 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE CIVIL WAR. 373 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,174 - GRANDPA, LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU SMELL LIKE DEATH. 374 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,978 [chuckles] 375 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,279 - * YOUR FUNNY FACE 376 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,115 - I'M GONNA GET SOME PUNCH. 377 00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:45,118 - * WE'RE LESS THAN PERFECT * 378 00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:48,321 - EXCUSE ME. YOU GUYS ARE REALLY ADORABLE. 379 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,224 THAT'S REALLY NICE. 380 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,026 - SO LESLIE'S LIKE, "THAT'S IT. 381 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,494 I'M TAKING HIM HOME." 382 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,264 SO WE LOOK OVER, AND HE'S NOT EVEN IN THE CAR ANYMORE. 383 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,367 - YOU'RE KIDDING. - NO. IT'S INSANE. 384 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,270 - WHAT DOES LESLIE THINK ABOUT ALL THIS? 385 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,305 - OH, GOD, LESLIE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW. 386 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,174 I THINK I JUST LOST TRACK OF HER IN ALL THE CHAOS. 387 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,476 ANYWAY, SO NOW HE AND MARLENE ARE OFF SOMEWHERE, 388 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,543 DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT. 389 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,413 [laughter] - I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. 390 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:18,618 - * OOH 391 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,453 - YOU'RE SUING ME FOR ALIMONY? 392 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,655 - YES. 393 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,591 WHEN WE WERE MARRIED, I GOT ACCUSTOMED 394 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,659 TO A CERTAIN LIFESTYLE, AND I'M ENTITLED 395 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,428 TO MONEY TO MAINTAIN THAT LIFESTYLE. 396 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,097 - THIS IS INSANE. 397 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,698 - YEAH, IT'S INSANE, BUT IT'S ALL I GOT. 398 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,500 AND YOU COULD MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY 399 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,335 IF YOU JUST GAVE ME A CHANCE. 400 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,404 - WHAT? - THREE DATES. 401 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:42,209 ONE DATE. 402 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,210 COFFEE? 403 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:46,379 - SO YOUR PLAN WAS TO SUE ME 404 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,115 AND THEN TO USE THAT TO BLACKMAIL ME 405 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,482 INTO FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU? 406 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:52,452 - YEAH. 407 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:55,222 - [scoffs] 408 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,593 - HEY, YOU GUYS SOUND GOOD. 409 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,330 - YOU REALLY THINK SO? 410 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,632 I-- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL. 411 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,467 IT'S LIKE BIZARRO LAND OUT THERE. 412 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,536 AS SOON AS WE FINISH A SONG, IT'S DEAD SILENCE. 413 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,038 - WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, YOU KNOW? 414 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,705 THEY'RE LIKE A MILLION YEARS OLD. 415 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,142 - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT. 416 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,476 YOU WERE ALWAYS A BIG SUPPORTER OF THE BAND. 417 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,311 - HEY, BREAK'S OVER. 418 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,647 - LUDGATE, CRACKING THE WHIP. 419 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,217 - YEAH, WELL, THESE OLD BAGS PAID FOR SOME ENTERTAINMENT, 420 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,718 SO GET... 421 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,287 - NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. - UP THERE. 422 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,488 - HEY, YOU SHOULD PLAY THAT SONG, 423 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,622 THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT. 424 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,291 - MM. - THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 425 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,327 - NEXT ONE'S GOING OUT TO A SPECIAL LITTLE LADY 426 00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,729 NAMED APRIL LUDGATE. 427 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,499 * 428 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:43,270 - * SOME DAY 429 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:47,207 * WHEN I'M ALL ALONE 430 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,276 - ARE YOU GUYS-- 431 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,678 NEVER MIND. 432 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:55,148 - WHY DO YOU CARE? - I DON'T. 433 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,783 - * OF YOU 434 00:16:56,816 --> 00:17:00,553 * AND THE WAY YOU LOOK 435 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,189 - NOW WHAT ABOUT YOU? 436 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,356 WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? 437 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:07,194 - WELL, IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING RIDE. 438 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,662 - YEAH. - GOT A JOB AT A GROCERY STORE 439 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,331 RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE. 440 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,166 JUST FOR A WAY TO MAKE MONEY. 441 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,403 HERE I AM, 40 YEARS LATER, 442 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,271 COMPLETELY UNEMPLOYED. 443 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,076 - WOW. 444 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:27,580 - WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF? 445 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,682 - YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS, RIGHT? 446 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,651 - SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK. 447 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,721 OF WHICH I'VE HAD FOUR. 448 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:39,326 - * AND THE WORLD IS COLD 449 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,828 * I WILL FEEL A GLOW 450 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:46,599 * JUST THINKING OF YOU 451 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,369 * AND THE WAY YOU LOOK 452 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,439 * TONIGHT 453 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,475 * 454 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,310 - HEY, MOM, 455 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,311 ARE YOU OKAY? 456 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,247 DID FRANK LEAVE? - UH, YEAH, HE JUST STEPPED AWAY 457 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,348 FOR A SECOND. 458 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:02,649 - I'M SO SORRY WE BROUGHT HIM HERE. 459 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,850 - OH, IT'S OKAY. 460 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,652 IT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL, SWEETHEART. 461 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,720 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT THAT HE TURNED OUT TO BE-- 462 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,322 - EXCUSE ME. 463 00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,424 HI. EXCUSE ME, HI. 464 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:12,659 [clears throat] 465 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,527 MY NAME IS FRANK BECKERSON. 466 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:20,267 MARLENE, YOU... 467 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,334 BLEW IT. 468 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:25,238 TAKE ONE LAST LOOK, MARLENE, 469 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:30,410 BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER SEE THIS BODY AGAIN. 470 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,280 - MARLENE, WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO? 471 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,248 TELL ME EVERYTHING. I WANT EVERY DETAIL. 472 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,917 - HEY, WE'RE ALMOST DONE, SO WE CAN LEAVE SOON. 473 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,786 - (as an old person) YES, I'LL TAKE YOU 474 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,323 FOR AN ICE CREAM MALT, AND THEN WE CAN GO CHOOSE OUR CASKETS. 475 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,658 - GOD, WHY DOES EVERYTHING WE DO HAVE TO BE CLOAKED 476 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,327 IN, LIKE, 15 LAYERS OF IRONY? 477 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,929 - HERE'S SOMETHING UNIRONIC. 478 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,564 EVER SINCE YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH THAT MEATHEAD, 479 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,467 YOU'VE BECOME COMPLETELY LAME. 480 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:55,735 - YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'RE BREAKING UP. 481 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,804 - FINE. 482 00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,506 THEN YOU CAN'T MAKE OUT WITH ME WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK ANYMORE. 483 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,441 - FINE. THEN I'LL MAKE OUT WITH BEN. 484 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,810 - PASS. - NO, HE'S MY BOYFRIEND. 485 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,678 YOU CAN EITHER MAKE OUT WITH BOTH OF US OR NONE OF US. 486 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,514 - FINE. NONE OF YOU. 487 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:11,351 - FINE. 488 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:14,787 - * I'VE GOT YOU 489 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:19,892 * UNDER MY SKIN 490 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,694 - [grunts] 491 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,397 EVERYTHING OKAY, KNOPE? 492 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,499 - MY BOYFRIEND IS A LAWYER, 493 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,768 AND HE'S SMART AND INTERESTING, 494 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,371 AND THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT HIM I LIKE. 495 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:34,541 BUT HE ACTED LIKE A REAL JERK TODAY. 496 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,543 I DON'T KNOW. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY 497 00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,878 HE TREATS PEOPLE OR SOMETHING. 498 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,980 - HE'S A TOURIST. 499 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,483 HE VACATIONS IN PEOPLE'S LIVES, 500 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,252 TAKES PICTURES, 501 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,854 PUTS 'EM IN A SCRAPBOOK, AND MOVES ON. 502 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,390 ALL HE'S INTERESTED IN ARE STORIES. 503 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,892 - HUH. 504 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:56,829 - BASICALLY, LESLIE, HE'S SELFISH. 505 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,231 AND YOU'RE NOT. 506 00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:01,268 AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T LIKE HIM. 507 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,836 - I TOLD YOU SO. 508 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,004 IT'S DUKE SILVER. 509 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,840 - DUKE, CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH? 510 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,409 I LOVE YOUR MUSIC. 511 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,811 - YOU'RE MISTAKEN, LADIES. 512 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,481 MOVE ALONG. 513 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:18,885 - * UNDER MY SKIN 514 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,387 - WHOO! 515 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,854 YEAH, GO MOUSE RAT! 516 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,890 WHOO! 517 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:27,427 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST TERRIFIC. 518 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,528 - SERIOUSLY? 519 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,430 - YOU SOUND LIKE DEAN MARTIN. 520 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:35,034 IF I WERE 50 YEARS YOUNGER... - EW. 521 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,569 - [laughs] 522 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,505 WAIT, WHO'S DEAN MARTIN? 523 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:39,972 IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, THAT WAS 524 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,409 THE OLD LADY VERSION OF FLASHING. 525 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:43,943 NAILED THE GIG. 526 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,314 - LOOK, IT'S SAD. I KNOW. 527 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,948 BUT WE'LL STILL BE FRIENDS. 528 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,384 WE'RE GONNA SEE EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME. 529 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,019 I COME INTO TOWN, LIKE, EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. 530 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,887 - NO. YOU GUYS CAN'T BREAK UP. 531 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,323 WE CAN FIX THIS. LET ME TALK TO LESLIE. 532 00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:57,390 - TOM, IT'S OVER. 533 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,891 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME ANYMORE. 534 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,693 - IS IT MY FAULT? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? 535 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,930 - NO. SERIOUSLY, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 536 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,933 - CAN WE STILL GO SUIT SHOPPING? - OF COURSE. 537 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,868 ARMANI'S HAVING A SALE RIGHT NOW. 538 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,538 TIME TO GET YOU A POCKET SQUARE. 539 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:13,540 - ALL RIGHT. 540 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,875 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com