1 00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:05,306 - AND I'M, LIKE, WHAT? [laughter] 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,774 - IT'S PRETTY GREAT HAVING ANDY WORKING IN THE BUILDING. 3 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,376 THE GUY IS SO MUCH FUN. 4 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:11,345 HIS NEW THING-- PIGGYBACK RIDES. 5 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,147 ANYTIME YOU WANT. 6 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,748 - PIGGYBACK! PIGGYBACK! 7 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,184 MOVE! 8 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:19,520 PIGGYBACK. BAM! PIGGYBACK. BAM! 9 00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:26,260 MARK...BRENDANAWICZ! 10 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:29,463 - [giggling] GIDDYUP! GIDDYUP! 11 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:33,267 OH...COUNCILMAN HOWSER. HELLO. 12 00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:35,136 - HELLO. - DID YOU GET MY PROPOSAL 13 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:38,372 FOR THE POSSIBLE RE-ZONING OF LOT 48? 14 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,341 - I, UH, HAVE BEEN BUSY. 15 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,776 - I KNOW, BUT I THINK IT WOULD BE A REALLY GREAT THING 16 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,345 FOR THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 17 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,413 - I DON'T DOUBT IT, BUT IT'S REALLY A QUESTION 18 00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:46,614 OF RESOURCE ALLOCATION. 19 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,317 - AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT. 20 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,584 BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT IF WE WANT TO FIND THE MONEY, 21 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:51,585 WE CAN. 22 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,587 - I'M RUNNING LATE. 23 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,323 - OH, I'LL WALK WITH YOU. 24 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,491 SEE, THE THING IS, WHEN WE ALLOCATE MONEY FOR PARKS... 25 00:00:57,525 --> 00:01:00,494 [triumphant music] 26 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:08,536 * 27 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:20,348 - JUST A REMINDER, TOMORROW'S A HALF DAY. 28 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,750 JERRY, MARK, AND I HAVE TO CONDUCT 29 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:26,620 THE ANNUAL TRAIL SURVEY AT SLIPPERY ELM PARK. 30 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:29,290 - RON, I HAD THE TRAIL SURVEY HATS MADE 31 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,359 TO COMMEMORATE THE TRIP. 32 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,127 - NICE, JERRY. 33 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,529 OH, AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE DETAILS, 34 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:39,400 FEEL FREE TO SHOOT ME AN EMAIL. 35 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,602 [laughter] 36 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,472 - UGH, THE ONLY TRAILS HE'S GONNA BE SURVEYING 37 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,507 ARE TRAILS OF LIES AND DECEPTION. 38 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,342 RON HAS A SPECIAL DEAL WITH THE PARK RANGERS. 39 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:51,279 EVERY NOVEMBER THEY LET HIM USE THEIR CABIN 40 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,680 SO HE CAN GO ON A SECRET HUNTING TRIP 41 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,382 WITH ALL THE GUYS IN THE OFFICE. 42 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,484 - NOT ALL THE GUYS. HE'S NEVER TAKEN ME. 43 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,486 - FINE, ALL THE MEN. 44 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,554 RON, LET'S CUT THE BULL. 45 00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,356 I WANT ME, TOM, AND ALL THE OTHER LADIES 46 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:03,924 INCLUDED ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP. 47 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,394 - HUNTING TRIP? [turkey calls on stereo] 48 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,430 WE'RE DOING A TRAIL SURVEY, LESLIE. 49 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,399 - YOU'RE LITERALLY LISTENING TO TURKEY CALLS. 50 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:15,269 - OH, IS THIS--IS THIS NOT RAP? [stereo off] 51 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:16,470 - COME ON. - ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 52 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,506 IT'S NOT JUST A HUNTING TRIP. 53 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,375 IT'S A TRADITION. 54 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,477 - I AM REALLY GOOD AT HUNTING. 55 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,214 AND I'M EVEN BETTER AT BEING ONE OF THE GUYS. 56 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,482 - WELL, IT'S A WORK EVENT, 57 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,884 SO...LEGALLY I CAN'T STOP YOU FROM COMING. 58 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:34,288 - YES! THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN! I'LL BRING S'MORES. 59 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,557 - AND JUST LIKE THAT, 60 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:40,461 THE ONE TINY ASPECT OF GOVERNMENT I ENJOYED 61 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,497 WAS CLUBBED TO DEATH BEFORE MY EYES. 62 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,434 - APRIL, I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME. 63 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,402 I'M GOING HUNTING TOMORROW, 64 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,539 SO CALL THE STATE PARKS OFFICE AND GET VERBAL CONFIRMATION 65 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:52,906 THAT OUR BUDGET DOCUMENTATION IS IN. 66 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,476 CAN I JUST TELL YOU THE 16-DIGIT TRACKING NUMBER, 67 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,677 OR DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE IT DOWN? 68 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,946 I'LL WRITE IT DOWN. CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? 69 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,748 - YOU WANT ME TO DIAL A NUMBER, 70 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,716 AND THEN READ ANOTHER NUMBER OUT LOUD? 71 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,586 - YES. CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? 72 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,656 - NO. 73 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,724 - WELL, TRY. OKAY? 74 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,393 AND IF YOU DO IT, 75 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,429 I WILL NAME THE FIRST TURKEY I SHOOT AFTER YOU. 76 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:18,266 - COOL. 77 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,736 - ANN, READY TO BAG SOME BIRDS? 78 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,506 - NO, BUT I AM READY TO RELAX BY THE FIRE 79 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,841 AND GET MY REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE ON. 80 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,577 - WELL, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY 81 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,579 A LICENSED INDIANA HUNTER. 82 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,514 - OH. GROSS. 83 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,287 [line ringing over speaker] 84 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,256 - HELLO, YOU HAVE REACHED THE INDIANA STATE PARKS DEPARTMENT. 85 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,024 YOUR CALL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US. 86 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,460 PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE. 87 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:50,398 [mellow "hold" music] 88 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:54,702 * 89 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,905 - HERE WE GO. - HERE WE ARE. 90 00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,473 - OH, THERE'S RON. - THERE HE IS. 91 00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:02,310 - OH, IT'S PRETTY! I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE GROSS. 92 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,447 - YEAH! 93 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,483 HOLY COW. RON, IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK! 94 00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:13,321 - SNEAK ATTACK! [laughter] 95 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,888 - DAMN IT! - I'M THE PANTS KING! 96 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,657 BOW TO ME. - BOW. I BOW. 97 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:20,928 - AAH! I'M THE PANTS QUEEN! 98 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,630 - WHAT THE HELL! 99 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,899 - BOW TO THE PANTS QUEEN. 100 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,335 WHEN YOU'RE OUT WITH THE BOYS, YOU GOTTA BE READY 101 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,303 FOR A GOOD PANTSING. 102 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:33,507 THAT'S WHY I HAVE SUSPENDERS THAT CONNECT MY BRA TO MY JEANS. 103 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:35,909 - RON "P. DIDDY" COMBS. 104 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,879 I HAVE TO ADMIT, THIS PLACE IS PRETTY TIGHT. 105 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,047 - YEAH. 106 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,582 - MAY I INTEREST ANYONE IN SOME CHEW? 107 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:42,750 - NICE TOUCH, HAVERFORD. 108 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,419 - LET ME GET SOME OF THAT. 109 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,588 - YOU SURE? - UH, YEAH. 110 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,458 - I WOULD NOT HAVE PEGGED YOU AS A USER OF MOUTH TOBACCO. 111 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,992 - MM, I'M FULL OF SURPRISES, RON. 112 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,528 - OH, MAN, MY STOMACH'S A LITTLE UPSET. 113 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:55,929 I FEEL A LITTLE QUEASY. 114 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,899 - THAT MIGHT BE THE CHEW. YOU COULD SPIT IT OUT. 115 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,534 - I SWALLOWED IT. 116 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:01,969 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SWALLOW IT, RIGHT? 117 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,338 - NO. 118 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,514 - ALL RIGHT. 119 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,749 - POOR LITTLE BUDDY. 120 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,485 - THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT CHEW AND NOT SWALLOW. 121 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,720 AM I RIGHT, RON? - YES, YOU ARE RIGHT. 122 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,555 [Tom retching outside] 123 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,657 - ALL RIGHT, SAFETY BASICS. 124 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,026 DONNA, CAN YOU TELL ME WHY IT'S BAD 125 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,395 TO LOOK DOWN THE BARREL OF YOUR GUN? 126 00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,363 - IS THAT A TRICK QUESTION? 127 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,998 - NO, DONNA, DON'T! PLEASE. 128 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,900 - RULE NUMBER ONE, DO NOT POINT THE WEAPON 129 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,502 AT A PERSON. 130 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,903 THAT INCLUDES YOUR OWN FACE, DONNA. 131 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:39,039 NOW, EVERY YEAR BEFORE WE GO ON OUR FIRST HUNT, 132 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,041 WE DO A TOAST, SO GRAB A BEER. 133 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,414 TO THE HUNT. 134 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,148 - HEAR, HEAR! 135 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,750 - AND TO THE HUNTERS. 136 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,119 THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THE BEAST 137 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,522 IS TO FIND THE BEAST WITHIN. 138 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,924 - PRETTY GOOD. HEAR, HEAR! - HEAR, HEAR! 139 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,627 - RIGHT ON! - RON, YOUR TOAST SUCKED. 140 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:03,531 - THE TRADITIONAL TOAST IS "TO THE HUNT." 141 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,700 AND IT IS SAID BY ME. YOU ALL SET, MARK? 142 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,537 - OH, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD DO MIXED DOUBLES. 143 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,638 YOU KNOW, BOY/GIRL, BOY/GIRL. 144 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,407 - LESLIE, YOU SAID THAT WE WERE GONNA HUNT TOGETHER. 145 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,876 - OH, ANN, I ALWAYS FORGET BECAUSE YOU'RE SO PRETTY 146 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,479 YOU'RE NOT USED TO REJECTION. 147 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,346 - I HAVE TO HUNT WITH RON. 148 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,782 - ANN, WE'LL GO TOGETHER. - PERFECT. 149 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,817 ALL RIGHT, I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO DISCUSS 150 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,719 SOME COLLEGE BOWL GAME SCENARIOS. 151 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,422 - HMM. BULLY. 152 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:31,091 [mellow "hold" music] 153 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:34,828 * 154 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:37,998 - ANDY. ANDY! 155 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,601 CAN YOU COME HERE, PLEASE? - YEAH. WHAT'S UP? 156 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,769 - I'VE BEEN ON HOLD FOR, LIKE, AN HOUR. 157 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:42,903 I REALLY HAVE TO PEE. 158 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:43,871 CAN YOU JUST SIT HERE FOR TWO SECONDS 159 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,606 AND JUST LISTEN, PLEASE? 160 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,708 - YES. - PLEASE? GREAT. 161 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,644 AND IF THEY ANSWER, CAN YOU JUST READ THOSE NUMBERS OUT LOUD? 162 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:52,079 - YEAH. - OKAY, THANKS. 163 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,515 - [imitating turkey] GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! 164 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,983 NOW HERE'S THE FEMALE ADOLESCENT TURKEY. 165 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,552 [imitating turkey] 166 00:06:58,586 --> 00:06:59,787 COULD YOU HEAR THE DIFFERENCE? - NO. 167 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,121 THE TURKEYS CAN. 168 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,155 [gunshot] 169 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,024 - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA! 170 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,158 - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA! 171 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,561 - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA! 172 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,597 - WE DO THAT THE FIRST TIME ONE OF US HITS SOMETHING. 173 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,964 - OH, COOL. BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA! 174 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:13,467 - NO, NO. YOU MISSED IT. 175 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,836 - LOOK, RON, I KNOW THIS WEEKEND YOU WERE 176 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,906 LOOKING FORWARD TO A LOT OF MAN ON MAN ON MAN ACTION, 177 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,808 BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M VERY GRATEFUL 178 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,543 THAT YOU LET ME COME ALONG ON THIS TRIP. 179 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,844 - THAT'S FINE. 180 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,479 I'M JUST GLAD YOU DIDN'T END UP INVITING 181 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:26,647 MORE OF THE MOTOR-- 182 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,148 WHAT THE [bleep]? 183 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,617 [bleep] 184 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,619 WHAT THE HELL? GIVE ME SOME WARNING. 185 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,186 - I SAW A QUAIL. 186 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,589 SORRY, MAN. YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOOSE. 187 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,827 BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA! 188 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,530 - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA! [chuckles] 189 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,797 - I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE A REALLY GOOD BONDING SESH 190 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,566 FOR ME AND RON. 191 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,568 GUYS LOVE IT WHEN YOU CAN SHOW THEM 192 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,737 YOU'RE BETTER THAN THEY ARE AT SOMETHING THEY LOVE. 193 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,071 [mellow "hold" music] 194 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,006 - HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. 195 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,175 [singing with "hold" music] * I AM ON HOLD 196 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,745 * WITH THE STATE PARKS DEPARTMENT * 197 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,012 * I AM ON HOLD 198 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,549 * SO SUCK ON MY BUTT 199 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:06,253 - NICE. - YEAH. 200 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,255 THEY DIDN'T ANSWER, OBVIOUSLY. 201 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,523 WHERE IS EVERYONE? 202 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,559 - HUNTING TRIP. - HUNTING TRIP? 203 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,793 DID MARK GO? 204 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,562 - YEAH. - THAT'S COOL. 205 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,696 AT LEAST HE'S NOT WITH ANN. 206 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,231 - NO, ANN'S THERE. - GOD! 207 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,634 HOW COME HE GETS TO DO ALL THE THINGS I WANT TO DO? 208 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,236 GO HUNTING...ANN... 209 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,238 - MAYBE A DEER WILL EAT HIM. 210 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:29,109 - [laughs] 211 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,143 THAT'D BE REALLY AWESOME, 212 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,746 BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WILL HAPPEN, PROBABLY. 213 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,281 - YOU SURPRISED THAT MY BREASTS 214 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,049 DIDN'T THROW MY AIM OFF? 215 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,250 - LESLIE, PLEASE. 216 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:40,287 I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE A GIRL, I JUST DON'T LIKE CHANGE. 217 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,590 I LIKE GOING TO THE SAME PLACE WITH THE SAME PEOPLE, 218 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:43,757 TELLING THE SAME STORIES, 219 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:46,159 AND SEEING WHO CAN BAG THE MOST TURKEYS. 220 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,327 - WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU LIKE TO GO HUNTING 221 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:51,298 WITH THE SAME PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU CAN BEAT 'EM. 222 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,734 100 BUCKS SAYS I BAG MORE BIRDS THAN YOU. 223 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,035 - YOU'RE ON. 224 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,138 LET'S SPLIT UP. I DO IT BETTER ALONE. 225 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:03,711 - YEAH, YOU DO. SEE? JUST ONE OF THE GUYS. 226 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,213 - YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CAKE CAN'T BE BIRTHDAY CAKE. 227 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,881 THAT'S LIKE SAYING YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CEREAL 228 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:08,882 IS BREAKFAST CEREAL. 229 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,317 - MM. I LOVE BREAKFAST CEREAL. 230 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,285 - LOOK, SOME KIND OF BIRD. LET'S KILL IT. 231 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,321 YOU TALKIN' TO ME, BITCH? 232 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,590 [bird squawks] 233 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,293 - WHAT WERE YOU AIMING AT? 234 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,729 - NOTHIN'. 235 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,800 - OKAY. 236 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,135 [laughter] 237 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,302 - OKAY, OKAY. 238 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,071 I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE THAT. 239 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,674 - RIGHT? - YEAH. 240 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,008 [gunshot] 241 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,110 YEAH! [giggles] 242 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,246 - YEAH. AND KEEPING ONE'S EYES OPEN 243 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,214 IS ALWAYS A GOOD RULE OF THUMB AROUND GUNS. 244 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,284 - THIS IS SUCH A GREAT DAY. 245 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:48,388 SEE, AT MY HOUSE I'VE GOT A WIFE AND THREE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS. 246 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,291 BUT THIS TRIP, IT IS THE ONE TIME OF YEAR 247 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,894 I GET TO PEE STANDING UP. 248 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,296 [gunshots] MM. 249 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,932 AHH, I LOVE THAT SOUND. 250 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,668 [gunshot] - AAH! 251 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,803 AAH, I'VE BEEN SHOT! 252 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,305 UNH! I'VE BEEN SHOT! 253 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,676 [pained groans] 254 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,415 SOMEBODY SHOT ME IN THE HEAD! 255 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:19,720 [grunting and groaning] 256 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,354 - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA? 257 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,392 - OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! 258 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,393 - OVER HERE. RIGHT THERE. 259 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,328 - RON, I GOT YOUR HAT. RON, I HAVE YOUR HAT. 260 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,797 ARE YOU IN A LOT OF PAIN? 261 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,732 - I WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOTGUN! 262 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,433 - HEY, RON, IT'S ACTUALLY NOT THAT SERIOUS. 263 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,135 I JUST NEED YOU TO STAY CALM, OKAY? 264 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,070 - YEAH, I'M JUST GONNA STAY ANGRY. 265 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,305 I FIND THAT RELAXES ME. 266 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,141 - OKAY, RON, WE CALLED 911, AND THEY'RE GONNA SEND A RANGER. 267 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,844 - OH, DAMN! THIS IS A MESS. 268 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,013 THE RANGERS WON'T LET US COME BACK NEXT YEAR. 269 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,015 - WE'RE NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. 270 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,817 YOU GUYS, CAN YOU JUST PUT HIM ON THE DAY BED 271 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,884 IN THE CARCASS ROOM? 272 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:51,885 - DAY BED? - YEAH. 273 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,454 [woman screaming] 274 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,924 IS THAT DONNA? 275 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,226 DONNA? [Ron groaning] 276 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,894 DONNA? - GET ME SOME SCOTCH. 277 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,863 - I'LL BE HANDLING THE SURGERY AS WELL. 278 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,865 - [hyperventilating] 279 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,800 - ARE YOU OKAY? [Donna screaming] 280 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,235 WHAT IS IT, YOUR HEART? 281 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,237 ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING? 282 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:16,944 - SOMEONE... [screaming] 283 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,746 - OKAY, HERE'S YOUR SCOTCH, RON. 284 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,147 - OKAY, JERRY. JERRY'S HERE. HERE'S YOUR SCOTCH, RON. 285 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,782 THERE WE GO, RON. OKAY. 286 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,817 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT IS GREAT? 287 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,118 ANN'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU. 288 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,888 AND ANN IS THE BEST NURSE IN NORTH AMERICA. 289 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,757 ALL RIGHT. THERE WE GO. 290 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,059 - [grunting] - WHAT? YOU OKAY? 291 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,460 - DID YOU--DID YOU SHOOT ME? 292 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,428 - WHAT? NO. 293 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,297 - THERE WAS A BIRD KIND OF NEAR ME, 294 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,366 AND I KNOW HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE TO PROVE YOURSELF. 295 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,334 - NO. NO, I SWEAR I DIDN'T. 296 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,103 RON, I SWEAR TO GOD, I'VE NEVER SHOT ANYONE. 297 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,172 - WELL, YOU BETTER FIND OUT WHO IT WAS. 298 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,440 AND THEN PURCHASE THEM A COFFIN 299 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,376 BECAUSE I'M GONNA RIP THEM APART! 300 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,478 [straining] - OKAY. 301 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,214 ["hold" music continues] - MARCO. 302 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,215 - POLO. 303 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,885 - MARCO. - POLO. 304 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,453 - MARCO? 305 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,455 - POLO. 306 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,491 - MARCO. 307 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:08,228 - POLO. 308 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,063 - HEY. - OKAY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 309 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,765 - HOW ARE YOU FEELING? - ARE YOU DIZZY? 310 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,133 ARE YOU LIGHT-HEADED? 311 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,035 - WHEN I LOOK AT MY PALM, I SEE A LADY'S MOUTH 312 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,970 FRENCH KISSING A DOG. 313 00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,839 IS THAT NORMAL? - IS THAT NORMAL? 314 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,540 - WELL, THE PAIN MEDICATION I GAVE YOU IS PRETTY STRONG. 315 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,209 DONNA USES IT FOR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS. 316 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,443 HOW MANY DID YOU TAKE? 317 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,879 - SEVE--EIGHT. 318 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,115 BUT I WASHED 'EM DOWN WITH PLENTY OF FLUIDS. 319 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,483 - RON, YOU CANNOT DRINK SCOTCH WITH THIS! 320 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,119 YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO PURGE RIGHT NOW, OKAY? 321 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,153 - [chuckling] OH, NO. 322 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,287 - OH, YEAH. YES. 323 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,823 - NO, I'M NOT WASTING 20-YEAR SCOTCH. 324 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,157 - CAN YOU OPEN HIS MOUTH, LESLIE? 325 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,191 - WHAT? - OPEN HIS MOUTH. 326 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,128 OPEN HIS MOUTH! - OKAY. 327 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,362 - I'M NOT MAKING MYSELF THROW UP. 328 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,397 - OH, RON, I'M SORRY. WE HAVE TO DO THIS. 329 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,834 THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. - I WILL BITE YOU! 330 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,236 - OPEN YOUR MOUTH. - LESLIE, GRAB HIS MOUSTACHE. 331 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,537 - RON! - OPEN YOUR MOUTH. 332 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,905 GET HIS CHEST UP. - OW! 333 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,107 - OPEN YOUR MOUTH! - OPEN YOUR MOUTH! 334 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,877 - HIS SHOULDERS! - AAH! 335 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,913 - WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS RON IS RESTING COMFORTABLY. 336 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,015 - IS HE OKAY? IS HE GONNA LIVE? 337 00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,084 - I THINK SO. 338 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,387 ALTHOUGH I AM HOPING THAT HE HAS SOME MEMORY LOSS. 339 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,389 - ON A SCALE OF ONE TO CHRIS BROWN, HOW PISSED IS HE? 340 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,592 - WELL, HE'S VERY CURIOUS ABOUT WHO SHOT HIM. 341 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:17,064 SO IF YOU DID IT, JUST SAY "I DID IT." 342 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,967 COME ON, PERSON WHO SHOT RON. 343 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,604 LOOK, I THINK IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD 344 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,540 THAT NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT THAT THEY SHOT RON IN THE HEAD. 345 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,609 - MAYBE RON SHOT HIMSELF. 346 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,479 - HMM, HE HAS SEEMED REALLY DEPRESSED LATELY. 347 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,214 - HE WAS SHOT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD. 348 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,582 - YOU'RE RIGHT, HE LOVES THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. 349 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,384 HE WOULD NEVER SHOOT HIMSELF THERE. 350 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,451 - IT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE WHO SHOT RON. 351 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:39,619 SOMEONE NOT IN OUR GROUP. 352 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,956 - YOU THINK SOMEONE IS HUNTING US? 353 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,391 - MAN IS THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME. 354 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,525 - TO THE PREDATOR. 355 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:48,461 - I DID SMELL SOMETHING OUT THERE, AND IT WASN'T HUMAN. 356 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,363 - THAT WAS PINE TREES. 357 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,631 - THE PREDATOR CAN SEE HEAT. 358 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,100 - WE SHOULD COVER OURSELVES IN MUD. 359 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,501 IT COULD STILL BE OUT THERE. 360 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,936 [banging thud] 361 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,137 - DID YOU HEAR THAT? 362 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,471 - ACTUALLY, I DID HEAR SOMETHING. 363 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,540 - THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE. - I'M GONNA GET MY GUN. 364 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,609 - OKAY, TOM, SCARE HIM OFF. SHOOT OVER HIS HEAD. 365 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,045 - WHAT'S THAT GONNA DO? I'M GONNA SHOOT UNDER ITS HEAD. 366 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,247 - WHOA! - DON'T SHOOT ANYONE. 367 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,281 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 368 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,450 - HEY, DON'T SHOOT! 369 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:14,054 HEY, IT'S CRAIG FROM REINHOLD MERCEDES! 370 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,556 - CRAIG! CRAIG, I GOT YOU, DAWG! 371 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,125 CRAIG, DON'T WORRY, I'M COMIN'! 372 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,293 - ATTENTION, PERSON WHO SHOT ME IN THE HEAD. 373 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:24,264 I'M GONNA FIND YOU AND I'M GONNA TEAR YOU APART! 374 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,599 - RON, BED. NOW. 375 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:30,437 - OKAY. 376 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,604 ["hold" music continues] 377 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,207 - THAT MAN WASN'T MY BROTHER. 378 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,610 HE WAS MY HUSBAND! 379 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,980 - HOW WAS THAT? THAT WASN'T GOOD? 380 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,614 - YEAH, YOU CAN DO BETTER. - ALL RIGHT. 381 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,650 GIMME ANOTHER ONE. - OKAY. 382 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:46,987 I'M PREGNANT... WITH JOSH GROBAN'S BABY! 383 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,691 THAT WAS GOOD. 384 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:55,028 - YOU DO ONE. - OKAY. 385 00:14:55,062 --> 00:15:00,500 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SQUIRREL TOOK THE NUTS 386 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,468 OUT OF THE... 387 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:05,472 OUT OF THAT KID'S BACKPACK... AND ATE 'EM? 388 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:09,176 - YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A REASON TO SPIT. 389 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,443 - OH. OH, YEAH. - TO SPIT. 390 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:11,644 OH, OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 391 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,314 - DON'T ASK ME A QUESTION. - I WON'T. OKAY, NOT A QUESTION. 392 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,515 - OKAY, READY? - YEAH. 393 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:19,286 I'VE LIVED IN PAWNEE MY WHOLE LIFE. 394 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,421 - [snickers] 395 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:24,024 - THAT IS A FACT. 396 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:27,227 A FACT ABOUT ME. 397 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,063 YOU HAVE-- 398 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,300 MEH... 399 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,970 - HEY, HOW IS HE? 400 00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,638 - HE'S, UH, PRETTY OUT OF IT. 401 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:39,672 HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOU IN HIS SLEEP. 402 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,408 - GOOD STUFF? - NO. 403 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,510 - OH. - HOW'S IT GOING OUT THERE? 404 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,745 - TERRIBLY. NO ONE WILL ADMIT THEY SHOT RON, 405 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,014 AND NO ONE SAW IT HAPPEN. 406 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:50,417 - I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. - YOU DO? 407 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,753 - LISTEN, I HEARD ABOUT THE ACCIDENT, 408 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,623 AND I NEED TO KNOW WHO IS RESPONSIBLE. 409 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,525 - I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 410 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,593 - I AM. 411 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,429 I SHOT RON SWANSON. 412 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,097 - YOU SHOT MY MERCEDES? 413 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,666 - WHAT? NO. NO! 414 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,504 - OKAY, FOLLOW MY LIGHT. 415 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,706 NOT YOUR WHOLE HEAD. JUST YOUR EYES. YEAH. 416 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:17,377 OKAY, WHAT MONTH IS IT? - NOVEMBER. 417 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,080 - WHY ARE YOU TAKING THE BLAME FOR THIS? 418 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:23,216 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 419 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,085 JUST GO LOOK AFTER RON. 420 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,721 - SO WHAT HAPPENED? 421 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,591 I MEAN, DID YOU FORGET TO CHECK THE ENTIRE FIELD? 422 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,694 I FIND A LOT OF WOMEN HAVE PROBLEMS WITH TUNNEL VISION. 423 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:38,265 - NO, I'M AN EXCELLENT HUNTER. 424 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,200 - HOW DID YOU END UP SHOOTING A GUY IN THE HEAD, THEN? 425 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,035 - FAIR ENOUGH. 426 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,603 I WAS WALKING IN THE WOODS, 427 00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,639 AND THEN I TRIPPED AND MY GUN WENT OFF. 428 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,375 - AH, SO YOU FORGOT TO PUT THE SAFETY ON. 429 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,644 - NO, I ALWAYS HAVE THE SAFETY ON. 430 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,447 WHILE I WAS TRIPPING, I SAW A QUAIL, 431 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,683 AND I SHOT AT IT. 432 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:57,784 - IN MID-TRIP? 433 00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,687 - NO. THAT'S-- 434 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,423 OKAY, FINE. 435 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:06,193 I GOT THAT TUNNEL VISION... 436 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:08,561 THAT GIRLS GET. [chuckles] 437 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,497 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. END OF STORY. 438 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,764 - WELL, I THINK YOU'RE HYSTERICAL 439 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,333 BECAUSE OF ALL THE EXCITEMENT, OBVIOUSLY. 440 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,436 SO I'M JUST NOT FOLLOWING YOUR STORY. ALL RIGHT? 441 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,672 - UM, I LET MY EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF ME. 442 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,608 - AH. 443 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,710 - I JUST-- I CARED TOO MUCH, I GUESS. 444 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,613 I WAS THINKING WITH MY LADY PARTS. 445 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,548 I WAS WALKING, AND I FELT SOMETHING ICKY. 446 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,183 I THOUGHT THERE WAS GONNA BE CHOCOLATE. 447 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,818 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. 448 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:36,323 I'M WEARING A NEW BRA, AND IT CLOSES IN THE FRONT. 449 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,325 SO IT POPPED OPEN AND IT THREW ME OFF. 450 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:39,726 ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE BABIES. 451 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,361 ARE YOU SINGLE? 452 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,263 I'M JUST, LIKE, GOING THROUGH A THING RIGHT NOW. 453 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,697 I GUESS WHEN MY LIFE'S INCOMPLETE, 454 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,499 I WANT TO SHOOT SOMEONE. 455 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,701 THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN IF I HAD A PENIS! 456 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,371 WHAT? BITCHES BE CRAZY. 457 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,573 I'M GOOD AT TOLERATING PAIN, 458 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:57,444 I'M BAD AT MATH, AND I'M STUPID. 459 00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,412 - I WONDER WHAT THEY'RE DOING RIGHT NOW. 460 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:03,116 - PROBABLY MAKING OUT ON TOP OF A DEER CARCASS. 461 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,385 SUPER-ROMANTIC. 462 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,753 - YOU KNOW, IF I GAVE YOU A HICKEY, 463 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,256 IT WOULD TOTALLY MAKE ANN JEALOUS. 464 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,526 - I DON'T KNOW, I THINK THAT WOULD-- 465 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,827 THAT'S PRETTY GROSS. 466 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,729 SEEMS KIND OF WEIRD. 467 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,565 - WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT ONE FRIEND SUCKING 468 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:22,869 ON ANOTHER FRIEND'S NECK? 469 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,704 - YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, 470 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:25,638 IT DOESN'T SOUND THAT WEIRD AT ALL. 471 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,240 - YEAH, IT'S NOT. 472 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,276 I GAVE MY GAY BOYFRIEND'S BOYFRIEND A HICKEY, 473 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,644 AND IT TOTALLY MADE MY GAY BOYFRIEND JEALOUS. 474 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,747 - REALLY? 475 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:38,618 ALL RIGHT, AWESOME. I'M IN. 476 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,253 I'M GONNA GO STERILIZE MY NECK. 477 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,355 - OKAY. 478 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,194 WHAT? 479 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,461 - YOU KNOW, LESLIE, 480 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:49,796 THE SUPER BOWL'S IN A COUPLE MONTHS. 481 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,498 I USUALLY WATCH IT WITH MY BROTHERS. 482 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,566 MAYBE YOU COULD COME BY AT HALFTIME 483 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,902 AND SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD. 484 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:59,372 - RON, I'M REALLY SORRY THAT I RUINED YOUR WEEKEND. 485 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,674 - OR PERHAPS NEXT TIME I'M ENJOYING SOME ALONE TIME 486 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,176 IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM, 487 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,744 YOU COULD INVITE YOURSELF INTO MY STALL 488 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:05,878 AND SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD. 489 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,480 - [sighs] 490 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,582 LOOK, IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO 491 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:10,783 TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU-- - SURE. 492 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,419 HOW 'BOUT YOU SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD? 493 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,655 OH, WAIT, YOU ALREADY DID THAT! 494 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,191 - HEY, TOM, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 495 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:19,859 - HOLD ON. THIS IS AMAZING. 496 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,928 - NOW. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU NOW. 497 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,497 - OKAY. 498 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,666 WHOA! ANN, WHOA. 499 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,202 ARE WE FINALLY GONNA DO THIS? OW! 500 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,271 - I SAW YOU SHOOT RON. 501 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,939 OKAY, LESLIE COVERED FOR YOU, 502 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,641 BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET HER TAKE ANY MORE CRAP FROM RON 503 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,708 ON YOUR SORRY-ASS BEHALF. 504 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,611 - OKAY, FOR THE RECORD, I WAS GONNA COME FORWARD, 505 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,746 AND I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW. 506 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,514 BUT AFTERWARDS CAN WE COME BACK HERE 507 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,615 AND TALK ABOUT US? OW! 508 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,784 AH-- 509 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,586 - MAYBE THE NEXT TIME I'M AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE 510 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,421 GETTING MY PROSTATE EXAMINED, 511 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,457 YOU COULD COME BY AND SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD. 512 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,658 - EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE. 513 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,926 RON, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. 514 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,828 - HANG ON A MINUTE, TOM. I'M NOT DONE BERATING LESLIE. 515 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,265 - IT WASN'T LESLIE'S FAULT. 516 00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,633 SHE WAS COVERING FOR ME 517 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,636 BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE A HUNTING LICENSE. 518 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:06,373 I WAS THE ONE WHO SHOT YOU. - YOU DIDN'T GET A LICENSE? 519 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:09,376 WHAT KIND OF MORON DOESN'T GET A LICENSE? 520 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,978 THAT'S RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT, MY SON. 521 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,381 THAT'S A $25,000 FINE, MINIMUM. 522 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,715 AND PROBABLY JAIL TIME. 523 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:19,652 - BUT SHE COVERED FOR ME, AND I'M IN THE CLEAR. 524 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:20,753 - THAT'S RIGHT. 525 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,923 SHE KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT, AND NOW YOU'RE IN THE CLEAR. 526 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,558 - WELL, RON, YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T LET-- 527 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:28,828 - I KNOW. YOU DID GOOD. 528 00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,633 YOU'RE A REAL STAND-UP GUY. 529 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,336 I'M SORRY I LOST MY TEMPER BEFORE. 530 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,605 IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD BY A MORON. 531 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:39,639 - YEAH. 532 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:40,907 - DUDE, RON, I'M SO SORRY. 533 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,343 - APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED, MORON. 534 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,383 - PANTS KING. - PANTS QUEEN. 535 00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,526 - HI, ANN. - HEY. 536 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,033 - MMM, THE TURKEYS ARE GREAT. 537 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,302 - HEY, RON SWANSON! 538 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,037 - HEY! - HEY! 539 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,039 - RON SWANSON. - THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL. 540 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,442 - WELCOME BACK, RON. - OH, HEY... 541 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:18,077 "WELCOME BACK, RON." 542 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:21,548 THAT'S TERRIFIC. THANKS, YOU GUYS. 543 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,583 LET'S EAT!