1 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:02,770 - THANK YOU, OLD GUS, 2 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,773 FOR BRIGHTENING OUR LIVES, OUR HEARTS 3 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,541 AND MOST IMPORTANTLY OUR SHOES. 4 00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,677 [applause] 5 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:13,081 - THIS TRULY IS A DAY OF MIXED EMOTIONS FOR ME. 6 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,216 I'M SAD THAT OLD GUS IS LEAVING. 7 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:18,086 BUT IT ALLOWS ME TO HELP ANDY RESTART HIS LIFE 8 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,554 AS PIONEER HALL'S NEW SHOESHINE GUY. 9 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:23,224 - WELL, I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOUR BORING SPEECHES 10 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,226 FOR THE LAST 50 YEARS. 11 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:29,063 AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO ONE OF MINE. 12 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,231 YOU KNOW A DAY LIKE THIS 13 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,166 MAKES A MAN REFLECT UPON HIS LIFE. 14 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,634 AND I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION 15 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,838 THAT I'VE COMPLETELY WASTED MINE. 16 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,840 AND JUST FOR THE RECORD, 17 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,144 I NEVER EVER LIKED BEING CALLED OLD GUS. 18 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,413 I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT WHEN I WAS IN MY 20S 19 00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:46,847 AND I SURE HATE IT NOW. 20 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,450 SO GO TO HELL, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. 21 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,586 SCREW PAWNEE AND SCREW YOUR DAMN SHOES. 22 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,755 AH! 23 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:58,559 - OLD GUS IS CLASSIC. 24 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,629 [upbeat music] 25 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:06,667 * 26 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,549 - SO I PROPOSE THAT WE CHANGE OUR NAME 27 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,684 FROM THE SUBCOMMITTEE FOR PIT BEAUTIFICATION 28 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:27,421 TO THE SUBCOMMITTEE FOR LOT BEAUTIFICATION. 29 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,623 APRIL, STOP THAT. WHO ARE YOU TEXTING? 30 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:30,658 - YOU. 31 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:36,297 - AWW. SHE'S TEXTING ME. 32 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,267 I'M SORRY YOU'RE BORED. 33 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,668 - UH, HEY, EVERYONE. 34 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:41,635 OH, HEY, ANN. 35 00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,671 UM, LESLIE, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 36 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,739 - FINE. TOM YOU'RE IN CHARGE. 37 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,875 KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING. KEEP THESE MINDS WORKING. 38 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,210 - ABSOLUTELY, CHIEF. 39 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,712 - OKAY, WOULD YOU RATHER BE ABLE TO FLY 40 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,347 OR SPEAK FLUENT FRENCH? 41 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,149 DONNA, GO. - FRENCH. 42 00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:56,650 - I DON'T WANNA FREAK YOU OUT, 43 00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,586 BUT ANOTHER DEPARTMENT FILED A PLANNING CLAIM 44 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,454 FOR LOT 48. 45 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:02,790 - WHO? 46 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,392 NO... 47 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,560 - YEAH. - DAMN IT! 48 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,629 THE LIBRARY? 49 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,499 PAWNEE'S LIBRARY DEPARTMENT IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL, 50 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,567 RUTHLESS BUNCH OF BUREAUCRATS I'VE EVER SEEN. 51 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,636 THEY'RE LIKE A BIKER GANG. 52 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,805 BUT INSTEAD OF SHOTGUNS AND CRYSTAL METH 53 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,641 THEY USE POLITICAL SAVVY. 54 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,710 AND SHUSHING. 55 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,247 - IT'S GONNA BE OKAY. IT'S NOT A DONE DEAL. 56 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,548 - YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 57 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,283 THANKS FOR PULLING ME OUT OF THERE. 58 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:30,651 I NEED A GOOD PLAN, THOUGH. 59 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,553 YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A PANIC. 60 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,954 NEWS FLASH, WE'RE SCREWED. 61 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,723 WE GOT A BIG PROBLEM WITH THE LIBRARY. 62 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,525 - PUNK ASS BOOK JOCKEYS. 63 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,727 - WAIT, WHY DO WE HATE THE LIBRARY? 64 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,361 - THE LIBRARY IS THE WORST GROUP OF PEOPLE 65 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,895 EVER ASSEMBLED IN HISTORY. 66 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,897 THEY'RE MEAN, CONNIVING, RUDE 67 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,367 AND EXTREMELY WELL READ, WHICH MAKES THEM VERY DANGEROUS. 68 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,969 AND THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL LOT 48 FOR A NEW BRANCH. 69 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,604 all: WHAT? - YEAH. 70 00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:51,672 - GET OUT OF HERE. - YEAH. 71 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:52,673 - ON 48? - YEAH! 72 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:53,641 - THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 73 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,842 - I ACTUALLY THINK A LIBRARY WOULD BE NICE 74 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,310 THAT CLOSE TO MY HOUSE. 75 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,348 BUT I'M NOT ABOUT TO SAY THAT IN THERE. 76 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,682 - A NEW BRANCH? - YES! 77 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,718 - OH, I HATE THEM. 78 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,588 - OKAY, WE NEED TO MAKE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE THERE. 79 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,657 DOES ANYBODY KNOW ANYBODY THAT WORKS AT THE LIBRARY? 80 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,360 - UH, WELL, WE ACTUALLY KIND OF DO. 81 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,695 THE NEW DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF THE DEPARTMENT 82 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,597 IS TAMMY SWANSON. 83 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,699 - RON'S EX-WIFE? 84 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,568 THAT'S TERRIFIC. OR IS THAT AWFUL? 85 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,404 I MEAN, HE HATES HER, BUT HE KNOWS HER. 86 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,606 EVERYTHING'S OKAY. OR IS IT JUST THE SAME? 87 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,608 - LESLIE, YOU'RE THINKING OUT LOUD AGAIN. 88 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,577 - AM I? I AM. 89 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,845 - OF COURSE, THAT BITCH OF AN EX-WIFE 90 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,714 IS WORKING FOR THE LIBRARY NOW. 91 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,249 THAT IS PERFECT. 92 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,684 THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD 93 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,487 WORKING AT THE WORST PLACE IN THE WORLD. 94 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,255 - I HAVE TO GO TALK TO HER. 95 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,456 AND YOU GOTTA GIVE ME SOMETHING I CAN USE. 96 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,724 DOES SHE HAVE ANY WEAKNESSES? 97 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,326 - NO. 98 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,395 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO? EVERYBODY HAS A WEAKNESS. 99 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,329 -NOT MACHINES. 100 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,698 I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT SHE WAS PROGRAMMED 101 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,799 BY SOMEONE FROM THE FUTURE 102 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,734 TO COME BACK AND DESTROY ALL HAPPINESS. 103 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,868 - I SEE. 104 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,571 JUST, I KNEW THAT YOU HAD TWO EX-WIVES NAMED TAMMY. 105 00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,273 SO I WAS HOPING THAT THERE WAS ONE 106 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:00,408 THAT YOU GOT ALONG WITH. 107 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,643 - NO. I HATE 'EM BOTH. 108 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,777 ON MY DEATH BED, 109 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:07,581 MY FINAL WISH IS TO HAVE MY EX-WIVES RUSHED TO MY SIDE 110 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,350 SO I CAN USE MY DYING BREATH 111 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,653 TO TELL THEM BOTH TO GO TO HELL ONE LAST TIME. 112 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,955 WOULD I GET MARRIED AGAIN? OH, ABSOLUTELY. 113 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,058 IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE, WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING? 114 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,329 - I'M JUST LOOKING FORWARD TO A THOUGHTFUL DEBATE 115 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,764 WITH TAMMY ABOUT THE RELATIVE MERITS 116 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,833 OF PARKS VERSUS LIBRARIES. 117 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,601 AND IN CASE SOMETHING BAD GOES DOWN, 118 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,903 I WORE MY SHARPEST RINGS. 119 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,705 THIS ONE WILL TEAR YOU UP. 120 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,744 HELLO. HI. 121 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,946 I'M LESLIE KNOPE. I CALLED A LITTLE WHILE AGO. 122 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:42,883 - YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE SHOWING YOUR FACE HERE. 123 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,452 - EXCUSE ME? 124 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:48,021 - YOU HAVE OVERDUE BOOK FEES TOTALING $3.00 MISSY. 125 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,757 - THAT IS SO TYPICAL. 126 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,959 I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU'D USE A LOW-BLOW, 127 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,927 DIRTY POOL, B.S. MOVE LIKE THAT. 128 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,629 THAT'S WHY EVERYBODY HATES THE LIBRARY. 129 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,064 HERE, YOU KNOW WHAT, HERE'S YOUR $3.00. 130 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,599 AND I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL. 131 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,868 - LESLIE, LESLIE, LESLIE, I WAS JUST KIDDING. 132 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,035 MY GOSH. 133 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,837 I MEAN, YOU DID HAVE $3.00 WORTH OF FINES, 134 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,739 BUT I CLEARED THEM. 135 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,974 WE GOVERNMENT GALS 136 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,477 HAVE TO WATCH EACH OTHER'S BACKS, RIGHT? 137 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,380 - I KNOW THIS IS A TRAP. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW. 138 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,915 - OKAY. DID YOU TALK TO RON? 139 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:19,787 UM, RON TENDS TO EXAGGERATE WHEN IT COMES TO ME. 140 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,590 I SWEAR I DON'T HAVE CLOVEN FEET. 141 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:26,059 PLEASE, SIT DOWN. 142 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,596 -SHINE, SHINE, SHINE YOUR SHOES? 143 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,698 WHAT DO YOU SAY, SIR? MA'AM, SHOESHINE? 144 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,900 I WON'T LOOK UP YOUR SKIRT. 145 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:36,136 - ANN, WHOA. OH, MY GOSH--CRAZY! 146 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,871 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S ME, IT'S ANDY. 147 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,541 - HI, ANDY. - SO, ANN, HOW YOU BEEN? 148 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,575 - GOOD. 149 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,544 YEAH, LESLIE TOLD ME YOU WERE WORKING HERE NOW. 150 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,645 - YEAH, JUST JOINING THE RAT RACE. 151 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,780 CHASING THE CHEESE. RACING THE RATS. 152 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,115 TRYING TO GET THE CHEESE. 153 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,617 ENOUGH TECHNICAL BUSINESS TALK. 154 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,718 YOU LOOK RAVISHING. 155 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,486 - NOT A LOT OF CUSTOMERS, HUH? 156 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,787 - YEAH, BUSINESS IS A LITTLE SLOW. 157 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:57,658 IT IS DEFINITELY DUE TO THE ECONOMY. 158 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:01,662 UM, I'VE BEEN HEARING A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THAT A LOT 159 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,596 ABOUT A LOT OF STUFF. 160 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:06,700 WHOA, MARK! YOU WANT THOSE SHOES SHINED? 161 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,836 I'LL GIVE YOU A DISCOUNT BECAUSE YOU'RE A FRIEND OF ANN'S. 162 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,138 - WELL, I'M MORE THAN A FRIEND OF ANN'S. 163 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,673 - OH, NOT FOR LONG. 164 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,508 - I'M SORRY? - I DON'T KNOW. 165 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,710 AT LEAST HE FINALLY HAS A REAL JOB. 166 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,779 WHEN WE WERE DATING THE ONLY JOB HE HAD 167 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:19,980 WAS SENDING AUDITION TAPES 168 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,815 TO SURVIVOR AND DEAL OR NO DEAL. 169 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,751 - HI, MY NAME IS ANDY DWYER, 170 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,754 AND I WOULD BE A PERFECT CONTESTANT FOR DEAL OR NO DEAL. 171 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,525 - I WANT IT TO BE A PERFECT PARK, 172 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,527 WITH A STATE-OF-THE-ART SWING SET 173 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,028 AND BASKETBALL COURTS. 174 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,565 AND OFF TO THE SIDE A LOVELY SITTING AREA 175 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,167 FOR KIDS WITH ASTHMA TO WATCH OTHER KIDS PLAY. 176 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,135 WOW, IF I'D HAD A PARK LIKE THAT 177 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,704 WHEN I WAS GROWING UP 178 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,705 I PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THROUGH 179 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,207 SUCH A PROLONGED MALL SLUT PHASE. 180 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,645 - WELL, THAT'S--THAT'S THE GOAL, TAMMY. 181 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,146 - LISTEN, YOU GUYS GOT THERE FIRST. 182 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,516 I'M GONNA WITHDRAW MY REQUEST FOR THE LOT 183 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,685 AS A PROFESSIONAL COURTESY TO YOU. 184 00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,053 GOVERNMENT GALS, RIGHT? 185 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,557 - GOVERNMENT GALS. 186 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,693 - SO YOU TALKED TO TAMMY. 187 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,695 WHAT'S IT LIKE TO STARE INTO THE EYE 188 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:08,929 OF SATAN'S BUTT HOLE? 189 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,564 - SHE'S CHANGED, RON. 190 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,632 SHE'S A DIFFERENT PERSON. 191 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,866 I JUST--I THINK IT WOULD BE HEALTHY 192 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,702 FOR YOU TO GET A SENSE OF CLOSURE. 193 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,869 LOOK AT MARK AND ME. 194 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,037 WE SLEPT TOGETHER. WE TALKED ABOUT IT. 195 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,539 WE'RE STILL FRIENDS. 196 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,107 - YOU SLEPT WITH BRENDANAWICZ? 197 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,676 - NO! 198 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,044 - LOOK, TAMMY AND I DON'T WORK. 199 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,713 WE ARE OIL AND WATER. 200 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:28,649 OR OIL AND TNT AND C-4 AND A DETONATOR 201 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,918 AND A BUTANE TORCH. 202 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,721 NOTHING GOOD WILL COME... 203 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,756 WAIT... 204 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,828 SHE'S HERE, ISN'T SHE? 205 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,735 - HI, RON. 206 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,706 - TAMMY. 207 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,808 - GOOD. GOOD START. 208 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,711 - I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS, 209 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,780 BUT I JUST REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 210 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:05,252 COULDN'T WE GO HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE? 211 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,920 - LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 212 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,690 - THANKS, RON. 213 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:10,924 IT MEANS A LOT. 214 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,826 YOU'RE A MIRACLE WORKER. 215 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,163 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID? 216 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,230 - YES, DONNA. 217 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,933 I GOT TWO PEOPLE TO PUT ASIDE YEARS OF HOSTILITY 218 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,202 AND OPEN A DOOR TO THE POSSIBILITY OF FRIENDSHIP. 219 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,704 - YOU WERE NOT HERE WHEN RON AND TAMMY GOT DIVORCED. 220 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,106 I WAS. THOSE TWO ARE CRAZY. 221 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,041 - YEAH, AND YOU JUST OPENED THE GATES. 222 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,777 TO CRAZY TOWN. 223 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,279 - FRANKLY, I THINK RON WAS ACTING LIKE A BABY. 224 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,847 A LITTLE BIT. 225 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,583 I MEAN, WHAT IS HE AFRAID OF? 226 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,819 TAMMY'S JUST A WOMAN. A NICE WOMAN. 227 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,954 YOU KNOW, SHE'S NOT A MURDERER. 228 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,823 SHE'S NOT A DRAGON. 229 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,892 - IT'S REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU, RON. 230 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:48,028 - YOU'VE AGED HORRIBLY. 231 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:51,599 - YOU SON OF A BITCH. 232 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,100 - THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG. - OH, MY GOD! 233 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,635 WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? 234 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,203 NOTHING'S CHANGED, HAS IT? 235 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,871 WHO SET THE BED ON FIRE? - EXCUSE ME, FOLKS. 236 00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,173 - I DID, OKAY. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR? 237 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,175 [overlapping chatter] - PLEASE. 238 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,644 PLEASE. 239 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,880 - WHEN YOU MEDDLE IN SOMEONE'S PERSONAL LIFE 240 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:10,117 IT'S JUST SO REWARDING. 241 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,023 - OH, GOD! YEAH! 242 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,259 OH GOD, YEAH! 243 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,694 OH, GOD! 244 00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,963 OH, YES, BABY! GUN IT! 245 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,898 USUAL PLACE? 246 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,967 [laughing] 247 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:34,975 [laughing] 248 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,280 - * HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL 249 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,050 * READS THE CARD OF A MAN 250 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,153 * A KNIGHT WITHOUT ARMOR IN A SAVAGE LAND * 251 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,387 GOOD MORNING, JERRY. 252 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,057 THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL SWEATER VEST. 253 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,224 APRIL! 254 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,260 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE $20.00. 255 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,928 AM I RIGHT? - WHY? 256 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:57,230 - 'CAUSE YOU'RE A KID AND KIDS ALWAYS NEED MONEY. 257 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,932 - I NEED MONEY. - HA! 258 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,934 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITE, TOM. 259 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,235 - WHEN TIGER WOODS FEELS INVINCIBLE 260 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,337 HE WEARS A RED SHIRT AND BLACK PANTS. 261 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,039 - GOOD MORNING, DEPUTY. 262 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,208 - RON WEARS THE SAME THING AFTER HE'S HAD SEX. 263 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,277 - I'M A SIMPLE MAN. 264 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,378 I LIKE PRETTY, DARK-HAIRED WOMEN 265 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,813 AND BREAKFAST FOOD. 266 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,014 BUT THIS STOCK PHOTO 267 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,650 I BOUGHT AT A FRAMING STORE ISN'T REAL. 268 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,752 TODAY I GOT THE REAL THING. 269 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:22,823 A NAKED TAMMY MADE ME BREAKFAST THIS MORNING. 270 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,893 I SHOULD'VE TAKEN A PICTURE OF IT. 271 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,127 - HEY, TOM. 272 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,361 - WHAT'S UP? 273 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,164 - MY GIRLFRIEND'S EX IS WORKING 100 FEET AWAY FROM MY DESK. 274 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:34,001 AND HE'S BEEN PRETTY CLEAR ABOUT WANTING HER BACK. 275 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,903 WHAT DO I DO WITH THAT? 276 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,170 - HMM. THAT'S A TOUGH ONE. 277 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,239 - YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH HER AND TELL HER TO GO OUT WITH ME. 278 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,674 - THAT'S GOOD. CAN I ASK YOU ANOTHER QUESTION? 279 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:43,243 WHY DID I COME TO YOU FOR ADVICE? 280 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,177 - YEAH, OKAY. 281 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,946 I THINK YOU SHOULD PLAY THIS ONE COOL, MAN. 282 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,748 BE THE GROWN-UP. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. 283 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,883 - YEAH. - ANN'S A CLASSY CHICK. 284 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,151 IF YOU GET DOWN IN THE MUD, 285 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,352 YOU'RE JUST GONNA LOSE HER RESPECT. 286 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,954 - UH... 287 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,256 YOU'VE JUST MADE A SURPRISING AMOUNT OF SENSE, TOM. 288 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,357 THANK YOU. 289 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,259 - I'VE NEVER TAKEN THE HIGH ROAD. 290 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,094 BUT I TELL OTHER PEOPLE TO. 291 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:05,365 'CAUSE THEN THERE'S MORE ROOM FOR ME ON THE LOW ROAD. 292 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,969 - SO HOW DID YOUR COFFEE WITH TAMMY GO? 293 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,404 - LESLIE, I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH 294 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,340 FOR STICKING YOUR NOSE WHERE IT DIDN'T BELONG. 295 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,407 - I KNEW IT. 296 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,176 SO WHAT DID YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT? 297 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,912 OLD TIMES? I LOVE TALKING ABOUT OLD TIMES. 298 00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,113 NEW TIMES ARE GREAT TOO. 299 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:21,314 BUT THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT OLD TIMES. 300 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,250 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - WE DIDN'T TALK. 301 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,752 WE MADE LOVE. 302 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,787 - OH, MY, MMM... 303 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:29,256 GOOD. OH, WELL, SPARE ME THE DETAILS. 304 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,024 I'M JUST HAPPY-- - IT WAS SO INTENSE. 305 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:34,161 I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE MY FLESH STOPPED AND HERS BEGAN. 306 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,763 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 307 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,297 - YEAH. 308 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,099 - OUR MARRIAGE WAS ALWAYS A COMPLETE DISASTER, 309 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:43,436 BUT WE DID HAVE THAT, THE TWO OF US. 310 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,205 IT'S LIKE DOING PEYOTE 311 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,274 AND SNEEZING SLOWLY FOR SIX HOURS. 312 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,809 - THIS SEEMS LIKE A PRIVATE MATTER. 313 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:49,877 BUT I'M JUST SO-- 314 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,179 - THAT WOMAN REALLY KNOWS HER WAY AROUND A PENIS. 315 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,147 - [sighing] OKAY. 316 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,216 WELL, I'M HAPPY THAT IT WENT WELL 317 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,185 AND THAT YOU ENJOYED YOUR COFFEE. 318 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,353 I TRULY BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE 319 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,055 SHOULD BE FRIENDS WITH THEIR EXES. 320 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:05,225 I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW MANY OF MY EXES' WEDDINGS 321 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,227 I'VE BEEN TO. 322 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,832 [cackling] 323 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,935 - THEY'RE READING THEIR OLD DIVORCE PAPERS. 324 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,770 - THREE FISTFULS OF HAIR? 325 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,806 THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE. 326 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:22,342 - WELL, I'M TOO CLASSY TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO, DONNA. 327 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,144 SO I WROTE IT ON A POST IT. 328 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,883 - LESLIE. 329 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:33,353 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY OFF. 330 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:36,824 I MEAN YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME WORRYING ABOUT THIS PARK. 331 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:40,127 BUT REALLY, WHO CARES? 332 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,429 - I CARE. I CARE A LOT. 333 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,264 IT'S KINDA MY THING. REMEMBER? 334 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,133 - BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY WHAT DOES IT MATTER 335 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:49,202 IF THE LOT BECOMES A PARK OR A MUSEUM 336 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,372 OR A MEGA CHURCH? 337 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,406 OR A LIBRARY. 338 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,542 - NOBODY SAID LIBRARY. 339 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:59,246 - RON, YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO TAMMY ABOUT THE LOT? 340 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,849 - NO. 341 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,251 I SWEAR ON A GRAVE. 342 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,286 - OH, MY GOD! RON! 343 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:07,487 TELL ME THE TRUTH. 344 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,289 ARE YOU GIVING HER THE LOT? 345 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,491 - NOT GIVING. 346 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,526 WE HAVE DISCUSSED A TRADE. 347 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,928 - FOR WHAT? 348 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,229 - [muttering] 349 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,330 - EXCUSE ME. 350 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,000 - MORE SEX. 351 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,936 - OH, GOD! 352 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,238 TAMMY, CAN I SPEAK WITH YOU FOR A SECOND? 353 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,007 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 354 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,108 YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT RON. 355 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,011 YOU'RE JUST USING HIM TO GET LOT 48 FOR YOUR LIBRARY. 356 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,347 - LESLIE, THAT'S CRAZY. AND CORRECT. 357 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,949 - WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 358 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:38,886 - LES, THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF WOMEN IN THIS WORLD. 359 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,188 THERE ARE WOMEN WHO WORK HARD 360 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,323 AND STRESS OUT ABOUT DOING THE RIGHT THING 361 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,258 AND THEN THERE ARE WOMEN WHO ARE COOL. 362 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:48,261 YOU COULD EITHER BE A CLEOPATRA 363 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:51,331 OR YOU COULD BE AN ELEANOR ROOSEVELT. 364 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,934 I'D RATHER BE CLEOPATRA. 365 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,568 - WHAT KIND OF LUNATIC WOULD WANNA BE CLEOPATRA 366 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,338 OVER ELEANOR ROOSEVELT? 367 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,640 - HAVEN'T YOU EVER MESSED WITH A MAN'S HEAD 368 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:04,111 JUST TO SEE WHAT YOU COULD GET HIM TO DO FOR YOU? 369 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,879 WE DO IT ALL THE TIME IN THE LIBRARY DEPARTMENT. 370 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,981 YOU SHOULD COME JOIN US SOMETIME. 371 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,317 - I WOULD NEVER WORK AT THE LIBRARY DEPARTMENT. 372 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,185 I'M GONNA TELL RON WHAT YOU JUST SAID. 373 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:13,320 AND THIS LITTLE GAME THAT YOU'RE PLAYING 374 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,321 IS GONNA BE OVER. 375 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,455 - OKIE DOKE. 376 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,224 - YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN. 377 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,226 WE'RE NO LONGER GOVERNMENT GALS. 378 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,294 LOOK, WE NEED TO TALK. 379 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,130 RON, NO. 380 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:25,432 THE PLANNING DEPARTMENT REPRIORITIZATION DOCUMENT? 381 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,234 - CALM DOWN. I HAVEN'T SIGNED IT YET. 382 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:28,301 - YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO. 383 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,569 BECAUSE TAMMY WANTS YOU TO 384 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,271 AND YOU DO EVERYTHING THAT SHE WANTS. 385 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,240 - SHE MADE SOME REALLY GOOD POINTS ABOUT LIBRARIES. 386 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,142 - ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF? 387 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,910 YOU'RE DEFENDING THE LIBRARY NOW? 388 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,511 RON, THE LIBRARY. 389 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,281 OF ALL THE HORRIFYING, MISERABLE THINGS IN THE WORLD. 390 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,050 - SOME PEOPLE LIKE LIBRARIES. 391 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,251 - I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE WHAT I'M HEARING. 392 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,585 SOME PEOPLE LIKE LIBRARIES. 393 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,620 RON, SHE'S IN YOUR HEAD. 394 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,923 YOU SAID THAT SHE WAS A MANIPULATIVE MONSTER 395 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:50,991 AND YOU WERE RIGHT. 396 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,126 - NO, NO. TAMMY'S CHANGED. 397 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,496 - LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THAT SHE'S CHANGED. 398 00:14:56,529 --> 00:15:00,367 LOOK ME IN THE EYE. 399 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,036 - I'M SO SCREWED NOW. 400 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,938 HER HOOKS ARE IN MY BRAIN. - YEP. 401 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:08,641 SHE HAS ALL THE POWER AND I HAVE NOTHING. 402 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,377 I'M SO LITTLE. 403 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,190 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST BREAK UP WITH HER? 404 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,293 - I DON'T THINK I CAN. 405 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,995 WE WOULD JUST END UP NAKED. 406 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,597 AND I'D GIVE HER YOUR LOT AND MY HOUSE 407 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,664 AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE. 408 00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:34,201 I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY ACTIONS. 409 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,735 IT'S LIKE SHE'S CRAWLED UP INSIDE ME-- 410 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,370 - OH, GOD, RON. 411 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,672 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DISGUSTING SEX ANYMORE. 412 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,641 OKAY, NOW SACK UP. 413 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:45,412 YOU ARE RON FREAKIN' SWANSON! 414 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,180 - NOT AROUND HER I'M NOT. 415 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:50,083 IT TOOK YEARS OF INTENSE, FOCUSED HATRED 416 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,351 TO GET OVER HER. 417 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,521 AND NOW I'VE UNDONE ALL THAT GREAT WORK. 418 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,490 YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME BREAK UP WITH HER. 419 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,726 - I DON'T THINK I SHOULD GET INVOLVED IN THIS. 420 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,362 - OH, NOW YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED? 421 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,663 "IT'S JUST COFFEE, RON." 422 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,598 "SHE'S CHANGED, RON." 423 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,268 "I LET MARK NAIL ME AND WE'RE STILL FRIENDS." 424 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,270 - OKAY, I NEVER--I WOULD NEVER USE THOSE WORDS. 425 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,772 I NEVER SAID--POINT TAKEN. 426 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,376 LET'S GO DUMP YOUR EX. 427 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,678 - THANK YOU. 428 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,413 - SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IN THE ROOM 429 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:21,614 WHEN I TELL HER IT'S OVER 430 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,749 OR WOULD YOU RATHER WAIT OUTSIDE? 431 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,184 - IN THE ROOM. 432 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,519 I DON'T WANT HER TO THINK I'M A WIMP. 433 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,687 - HERE ARE THE GROUND RULES. DON'T TALK TO HER. 434 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,622 DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HER. 435 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,358 DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING SHE SAYS. 436 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,093 JUST SIT THERE LIKE A POTTED PLANT. 437 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,362 CAN YOU DO THAT? 438 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,563 COME ON. 439 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,566 - DO YOU HAVE ANY TOM-- - MARK! 440 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,035 - HEY. - HEY! DONNA. 441 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,436 - SO HOW'S THE SHOESHINE GAME? 442 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,604 - I'M ON A BREAK. 443 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:48,708 ONE OF THE MANY ADVANTAGES OF OWNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 444 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,711 - YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT YOUR SITUATION, RIGHT? 445 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,314 - YEAH. LISTEN, DONNA. 446 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,615 - YES. - QUICK QUESTION. 447 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,218 ANN IS TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN MARK AND MYSELF. 448 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,219 - NO, SHE'S NOT, ACTUALLY. 449 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,553 - IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? 450 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,655 RIGHT NOW, ON THE SPOT. - I'M NOT SURE. 451 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,523 WHY DON'T YOU SPIN AROUND FOR ME. 452 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,126 - YOU KNOW WHAT? CAN WE TALK PRIVATELY? 453 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,061 - SURE. - JUST OUT HERE. 454 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,766 - MMM, ANDY. 455 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,269 - SO, TAMMY, FOR THAT AND MANY OTHER REASONS 456 00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:18,671 RON HAS DECIDED TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP. 457 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:24,544 - WAIT A MINUTE. 458 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,678 RON BROUGHT YOU HERE 459 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,215 TO BREAK UP WITH ME FOR HIM? 460 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,717 - SHE VOLUNTEERED. 461 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,652 - LESLIE, 462 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,122 RON DOESN'T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME. 463 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:41,228 WHAT RON WANTS TO DO IS LEAVE HERE RIGHT NOW. 464 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:44,197 GO TO THE SLEAZIEST MOTEL IN TOWN 465 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:48,601 AND WRAP HIMSELF AROUND ME LIKE A COILED SNAKE. 466 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:49,636 - NO, HE DOESN'T. 467 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,104 - I'M PRETTY SURE HE DOES. 468 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,606 - [groaning] 469 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,276 - SEE? HE'S COMPLETELY OVER YOU. 470 00:17:56,309 --> 00:18:00,147 - LOOK, I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ANN SITUATION 471 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,448 IS AWKWARD. 472 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,484 BUT I LIKE YOU A LOT AS A DUDE. 473 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,387 AND I JUST HOPE THAT THERE IS SOME WAY THAT WE CAN BOTH BE 474 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,756 MATURE AND MAYBE BE FRIENDS. 475 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,824 - YEAH, I DOUBT IT. 476 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,427 I MEAN, I THINK YOU'RE A COOL DUDE TOO. 477 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,363 I LIKE YOU AS WELL. 478 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,831 BUT I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH ANN. 479 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:23,303 I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE UPFRONT ABOUT THAT. 480 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,805 - IS PUNCHING ALLOWED ON THE HIGH ROAD? 481 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,575 - I'M SORRY, LESLIE. 482 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:32,745 SHE WINS. I CAN'T RESIST HER. 483 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,746 - BUT, RON, YOU HAVE TO. 484 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,616 -STAY OUT OF THIS. THIS IS OUR RELATIONSHIP. 485 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:37,617 HE'S MY MAN 486 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,852 AND WE HAVE SOMETHING TWISTED AND BEAUTIFUL. 487 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,621 OH... 488 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,723 YOU WANT RON. 489 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:44,891 THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT. 490 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,461 - NO, THAT'S INSANE. 491 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,730 FINE, I HAD ONE DREAM, BUT NO, NO. 492 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,466 - BABY, DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? 493 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,669 SHE'S MANIPULATING YOU BECAUSE SHE'S JEALOUS OF ME 494 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,906 AND THE THINGS I GET TO DO TO YOUR BODY AND FACE. 495 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,742 - I'M HERE BECAUSE RON IS MY FRIEND. 496 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,777 AND I DON'T LIKE SEEING MY FRIENDS MISERABLE. 497 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,679 AND YOU, TAMMY, YOU MAKE HIM MISERABLE. 498 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,781 SO, RON, YOU CAN GIVE HER THE LOT OR DON'T. 499 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:09,616 WHATEVER. 500 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:13,653 JUST PLEASE, FIND A WAY TO BE HAPPY. 501 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,559 - NO, WAIT. 502 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,594 - RON, IT'S OKAY. JUST SIGN THE THING. 503 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,563 - NO, LESLIE. IT'S NOT OKAY. 504 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,465 YOU JUST PUT MY NEEDS IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN. 505 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,467 NO WOMAN HAS EVER DONE THAT FOR ME BEFORE. 506 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,568 - I'M SURE THAT'S NOT TRUE. 507 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,803 - YOU SEE THE KIND OF WOMEN THAT I CHOOSE, RIGHT? 508 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,872 LOOK, JUST WAIT FOR ME DOWNSTAIRS. 509 00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,641 IF I'M NOT DOWN IN FIVE MINUTES, 510 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,909 IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I'M RECEIVING A PLEASURE SO INTENSE-- 511 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,945 - OH, MY GOD! 512 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,217 - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 513 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,719 ANDY AND ANN'S FAMILY SHOESHINE? 514 00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,421 - I THOUGHT IT HAD A NICE RING TO IT. 515 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,422 - OH, MY GOD. 516 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,690 LOOK, MARK HAS BEEN REALLY COOL ABOUT ALL THIS. 517 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,592 AND YOU'RE THROWING IT IN HIS FACE. 518 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,461 - BUT I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU. 519 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,695 OKAY. I SAID IT. 520 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:56,963 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 521 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,332 NOT MENTION THOSE FEELINGS TO YOUR BOYFRIEND? 522 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,633 - YES! - YES. 523 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:01,801 AND YOU MIGHT WANNA TAKE THESE PICTURES DOWN. 524 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,771 - OH, MY GOD. TAKE THOSE PICTURES DOWN. 525 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:05,772 - WHAT? IT'S FINE. 526 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,474 WHAT DID I-- - ALL OF IT! 527 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,908 - I'M GONNA. - NOW! 528 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,543 OH, MY GOD. 529 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,345 GIVE ME THE BIKINI ONE. 530 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,581 - THE TEENY ONE? - BIKINI ONE. 531 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:23,990 - YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER THE LOT. 532 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,292 - LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 533 00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,793 - IS PART OF YOUR MOUSTACHE MISSING? 534 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:27,927 - YES. JUST KEEP WALKING. 535 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,362 - THERE'S A PUSH PIN IN YOUR FACE. 536 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,663 - LEAVE IT IN. 537 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:31,498 CAN'T YOU WALK FASTER? 538 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,232 - MY LEGS ARE SHORTER THAN YOURS. 539 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,808 - WE HAD A GOOD RUN. 540 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:48,448 - THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY FUTURE PARK. 541 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,550 I KNOW THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD FOR YOU. 542 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,486 YOU DIDN'T KILL TAMMY, DID YOU? 543 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,923 - I'M AFRAID SHE CAN'T BE KILLED. 544 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,858 TO EXES. 545 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,628 MAY THEY ALWAYS STAY THAT WAY. 546 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:06,499 TAMMY IS A MEAN PERSON. 547 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:09,001 - COME ON, RON. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. 548 00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:11,404 - SHE'S A GRADE-A BITCH. 549 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,005 - THERE WE GO. 550 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,775 - EVERY TIME SHE LAUGHS AN ANGEL DIES. 551 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,010 EVEN TELEMARKETERS AVOID HER. 552 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:21,348 HER BIRTH WAS PAYBACK FOR THE SINS OF MAN. 553 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:24,317 BUT YOU KNOW THE WORST THING ABOUT HER? 554 00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:26,085 - SHE WORKS FOR THE LIBRARY. 555 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,655 - SHE WORKS FOR THE LIBRARY.