1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,372 [school bell rings] 2 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,517 - GREG PIKITIS. 3 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,752 - YOU'RE THE PARKS LADY, RIGHT? 4 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:20,821 - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M THE PARKS LADY. 5 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,490 LESLIE KNOPE. 6 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:26,427 AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THIS YEAR, IT ENDS. 7 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,428 UGH, THIS KID MAKES ME CRAZY. 8 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,797 WE GOT A HISTORY, GREG AND I. 9 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:33,201 HE ABSOLUTELY TERRORIZES THE PARK SYSTEM. 10 00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,769 EVERY HALLOWEEN SOMEONE DEFACES THE STATUE 11 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,705 OF MAYOR PERCY AND RAMSETT PARK. 12 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,707 AND I KNOW IT'S GREG PIKITIS, 13 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,609 BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO PROVE IT. 14 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,512 HE'S LIKE AN INVISIBLE, ADOLESCENT JAMES BOND 15 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:48,482 SUPER-VILLAIN CRIMINAL MASTERMIND. 16 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,084 OR MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE IS DOING IT. 17 00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:51,719 BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE IT'S THIS KID. 18 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,454 GOT THE ENTIRE PARKS DEPARTMENT WATCHING YOU, 19 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:54,722 MY BOYFRIEND'S A COP. 20 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,092 SO DON'T EVEN TRY IT. 21 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,193 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 22 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,561 - OH, I THINK YOU DO. 23 00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:02,230 IT ENDS TODAY, PIKITIS. 24 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,165 IT ENDS... 25 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,567 TO... 26 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,737 DAY. 27 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,140 - THANKS FOR STOPPING BY, LESLIE. YOU LOOK GREAT. 28 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,208 - THANK YOU. 29 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,543 ENDS TODAY. 30 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,546 [triumphant music] 31 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:24,585 * 32 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,366 - HEY, PARKS DEPARTMENT. 33 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,900 - YAY, ANN'S HERE. 34 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,670 - UH, JUST TO REMIND YOU-- 35 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:47,341 TONIGHT, 7:00, MY HOUSE, IN COSTUME. EVERYBODY IN? 36 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,143 - MM. - YUP. 37 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,544 - COOL. OKAY. 38 00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:53,181 HALLOWEEN IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY. 39 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,248 IT'S JUST THE BEST. 40 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,916 AND I DON'T HAVE TO WORK. 41 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,153 HEY, SLUTTY TEENAGE GIRLS DRESSED AS SEXY KITTENS, 42 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,855 PUMP YOUR OWN STOMACHS THIS YEAR. 43 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,023 OH, ONE MORE THING. 44 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,893 THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM NOW ARE THE PEOPLE I INVITED. 45 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,429 PLUS LESLIE AND DONNA, SO DON'T TELL ANYBODY. 46 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,897 - WHO'S NOT INVITED, THEN? 47 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,366 - HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON, CUPCAKE? 48 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,435 EXCITED ABOUT THE PARTY TONIGHT. 49 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:18,606 - OH. OH, YOU'RE COMING. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TELL YOU. 50 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,574 - JERRY ALREADY TOLD ME. 51 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:24,612 CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW TINY YOUR COSTUME IS. 52 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,280 WHAT TIME DOES IT START? 53 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,416 - 7:00. - PERFECT. 54 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,718 - YEAH, IT'S PERFECT. 55 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,587 - CHECK THIS OUT. 56 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:34,788 THESE ARE ALL THE POSSIBLE ROUTES 57 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,292 FROM GREG PIKITIS' HOUSE TO THE STATUE. 58 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,627 - THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD FIND 59 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,894 ON THE WALL OF A SERIAL KILLER. 60 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,231 - IN A WAY THAT'S A COMPLIMENT. 61 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,732 SHOWS DEDICATION. - MM. 62 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,434 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ANYWAY? 63 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,636 I MEAN, A KID TPs SOME STATUE. 64 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,871 - AND ALL THE TREES AND ALL THE BENCHES. 65 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,374 IT TAKES US, LIKE, TEN DAYS TO CLEAN HIS MESS UP. 66 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,476 BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, GREG PIKITIS SUCKS, 67 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,544 AND I WANT TO DESTROY HIM. 68 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,712 - OKAY. 69 00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:01,515 WELL, IF YOU DESTROY HIM EARLY, PLEASE COME BY. 70 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,384 - I WILL. 71 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,553 HEY, HOW IS SOMEONE GONNA BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH THAT DOOR? 72 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,255 - OH. 73 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,622 - OH! WHAT THE-- 74 00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,524 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 75 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,793 - JERRY, RELAX. HERE. 76 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,962 AH, WILLIAM PERCY. 77 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,499 ONE OF PAWNEE'S GREATEST MAYORS, AND A TRUE HERO. 78 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,901 DURING THE PAWNEE BREAD FACTORY FIRE OF 1922, 79 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,237 HE RAN BACK INTO A BURNING BUILDING 80 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,839 AND SAVED THE BELOVED SECRET RECIPE FOR PAWNEE PUMPERNICKEL. 81 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,509 - DIDN'T, LIKE, 30 PEOPLE DIE IN THAT FIRE? 82 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,545 - HE WASN'T SUPERMAN. 83 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,414 - HE LOOKS LIKE RON SWANSON. 84 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,482 IS THAT WHO THIS IS BASED ON? 85 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,517 - NO, IT'S BASED ON WILLIAM PERCY. 86 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,851 WERE YOU LISTENING TO WHAT I JUST SAID? 87 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,520 - YES. 88 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,622 - OKAY, ANDY. GOOD NEWS. 89 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,324 YOU'RE OFFICIALLY ON THE PARKS DEPARTMENT PAYROLL. 90 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,793 $8 AN HOUR. - WHOO-HOO! 91 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,661 - COMMIT THIS TO MEMORY. 92 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,030 YOU SEE HIM, YOU STOP HIM. 93 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,665 KNOCK HIS HEAD OFF IF YOU HAVE TO. 94 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:52,733 - DON'T DO THAT. - DON'T DO THAT. 95 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,369 BUT I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO USE EXCESSIVE FORCE. 96 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,571 - DON'T USE EXCESSIVE FORCE. - DON'T GO OVERBOARD. 97 00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:58,306 JUST STOP HIM. 98 00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,040 BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. - NO. 99 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,609 - NO. 100 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:05,579 JUST STOP HIM. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 101 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:10,284 - A WEEK AGO, I HAD NOTHING. NOW I HAVE A PART-TIME JOB, 102 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:13,421 I'M GONNA MAKE 32 BUCKS TONIGHT. 103 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,756 I OWE LESLIE EVERYTHING I HAVE. 104 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:19,960 WHICH AFTER TONIGHT WILL BE 39 BUCKS. 105 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:23,497 [doorbell rings] 106 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:26,634 - HELLO, ANN. - HEY. 107 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:27,635 - AM I EARLY? 108 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,769 - NOPE, YOU ARE RIGHT ON TIME. 109 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,071 - I LIKE YOUR COSTUME. 110 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,307 - OH, THANKS. RAGGEDY ANN. 111 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,675 IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS WHEN I WAS A KID. 112 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:35,476 - HMM. 113 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,077 - * HE DID THE MONSTER MASH * 114 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,078 - * THE MONSTER MASH 115 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,448 - I'M A PIRATE. - RIGHT. 116 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,651 OH, HEY, DR. HARRIS. HOW ARE YOU? 117 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,653 - ANN. - THANKS. 118 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:49,390 UM, THIS IS RON SWANSON FROM THE PARKS DEPARTMENT. 119 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,924 I KNOW HIM FROM THAT THING THAT I'M DOING. 120 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,025 THIS IS DR. HARRIS. 121 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:55,629 - YOU'RE A DOCTOR. - YEAH. 122 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,599 - I MEANT YOUR COSTUME. - I GOT IT. 123 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,634 * 124 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,670 - WORLDS COLLIDING. 125 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,939 ALWAYS AWKWARD. 126 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,677 - 8:22 P.M. 127 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,512 SUSPECT STILL WITH FRIENDS IN PARKING LOT. 128 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:14,548 HE LOOKS OBNOXIOUS AND IRRITATING 129 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:18,619 EVEN FROM A GREAT DISTANCE. 130 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,087 - UH, CONFIRMED. 131 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,491 NORMALLY I HATE WORKING ON HALLOWEEN, BUT, UH, 132 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,125 IT'S NICE HANGING OUT WITH LESLIE. 133 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,862 YOU KNOW, SHE'S FOCUSED, SHE'S COMMITTED, 134 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,632 AND, UH, SHE MADE OUT WITH ME IN MY COP CAR. 135 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,635 IT WAS PRETTY NEAT. 136 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:40,541 I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. THAT'S CLEAR TO ME NOW. 137 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:44,645 * 138 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,946 - HEY, GUYS. 139 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:46,947 - HEY. 140 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,517 REMEMBER MY BOYFRIEND DEREK? 141 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,051 AND HIS BOYFRIEND BEN? 142 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,620 - YEAH, HI. 143 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,689 IT'S TOTALLY OKAY THAT YOU DIDN'T WEAR A COSTUME. 144 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,826 - I DID. I'M A STRAIGHT PERSON. 145 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,728 - HEY. SORRY I'M LATE. 146 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:03,897 - SEE? 147 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,633 - SORRY IT'S A LITTLE BIT LAME RIGHT NOW, 148 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,067 BUT WE'LL GET IT GOING. 149 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,604 - I PASSED UP A GAY HALLOWEEN PARTY TO BE HERE. 150 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:12,540 DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUN GAY HALLOWEEN PARTIES ARE? 151 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,974 LAST YEAR I SAW THREE JONAS BROTHERS 152 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,009 MAKE OUT WITH THREE ROBERT PATTINSONS. 153 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,412 IT WAS AMAZING. 154 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,113 - SO YOU'RE THE MARK THAT ANN IS DATING. 155 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,516 - I SUPPOSE THAT I AM. 156 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,185 - WE'RE VERY PROTECTIVE OF ANN. WE LOOK OUT FOR HER. 157 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,654 - SO YOU KIND OF DROPPED THE BALL 158 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,921 WITH ANDY, THEN, DIDN'T YOU? 159 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,723 - OH, ANDY. 160 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,725 - I LOVED ANDY. OH, SUCH A SWEETHEART. 161 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:32,526 IS ANDY COMING TONIGHT? 162 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,695 - YOU SHOULD GET BACK WITH ANDY. 163 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,630 - WHO NEEDS A DRINK? 164 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:37,665 I DO. 165 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,600 - SUSPECT LAUGHING WITH FRIENDS 166 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,070 AND PLAYING WITH HIS STUPID SKATEBOARD 167 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:46,607 IN A SNIDE, TURD-ISH MANNER. 168 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,476 - "TURD-ISH"? 169 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,512 - YES. LIKE A TURD. LIKE A LITTLE TURD. 170 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,312 - HEY, LISTEN. 171 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,515 YOUR SCARE TACTICS CLEARLY WORKED, 172 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,485 YOU GOT ANDY GUARDING THE STATUE, 173 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,652 WHY DON'T WE GO TO ANN'S PARTY? 174 00:06:58,686 --> 00:06:59,953 HAVE A LITTLE FUN. 175 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:03,724 OH, UH, WE WANTED TO COVER THAT BLOCK ANYWAY. 176 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,759 WANTED A POLICE PRESENCE ON IT, SO THAT'S-- 177 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,696 THIS IS WITHIN THE BOU-- UH, CONFINES OF-- 178 00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:09,697 - SURE, LET'S GO. 179 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:10,698 - YEAH? OKAY. - YEAH. 180 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,500 WE'LL GO BY MY OFFICE AND PICK UP MY COSTUME. 181 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,567 - GOT IT. 182 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,568 - CAN'T WE JUST FIRE A WARNING SHOT 183 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,603 OVER HIS HEAD AS WE DRIVE BY? 184 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,604 - NO, BABE, DON'T TOUCH THAT. 185 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:17,538 - UGH... 186 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:21,642 LEAVING LOCATION. LOOK AT STUPID SUSPECT. 187 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,643 I HATE SUSPECT. 188 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,812 WHERE ARE MY KEYS? 189 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,514 - LOOKS LIKE IT'S OPEN. 190 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,549 - REALLY? 191 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:37,491 [gasps] 192 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:38,559 PIKITIS! 193 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,132 - WE'VE BEEN TAILING THAT KID FOR A COUPLE HOURS. 194 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,200 I MEAN, IT MUST'VE BEEN SOMEBODY ELSE. 195 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,871 - IT WAS PIKITIS. 196 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,640 BELIEVE ME NOW. 197 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,108 - THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME. 198 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,578 - THIS IS A PEACH PIT. - OKAY. 199 00:07:57,611 --> 00:08:00,548 - HE WAS EATING A PEACH WHEN I WENT TO GO TALK TO HIM. 200 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,049 THIS IS HIS ACE OF SPADES. 201 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:02,916 THIS IS HIS CALLING CARD, 202 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,217 THIS IS WHAT HE LEAVES ALL HIS VICTIMS. 203 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,285 AND IT'S STILL WARM. 204 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,788 OKAY, GO AND ARREST HIM AND SEND THIS TO THE LAB. 205 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,256 - WE DON'T HAVE A L-LAB. 206 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,758 - HI, APRIL. 207 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:14,261 OKAY, YOU'RE UNDERAGE. 208 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,262 - YOU'RE NOT. 209 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:18,732 - HEY. YEAH, I'M GONNA LEAVE. 210 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,133 - OH, OKAY. 211 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,268 - THIS ISN'T THAT FUN. 212 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,103 - DIDN'T NEED TO TELL ME THAT. 213 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,538 - I'M GONNA TAKE THIS HOME. 214 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,173 NOBODY WAS DRINKING IT, SO I'M GONNA TAKE IT. 215 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,174 - OKAY. 216 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:32,212 - GONNA TAKE THIS TOO. BEEN MEANING TO READ IT. 217 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,981 - [sighs] 218 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,083 - OKAY, THIS ISN'T STRICTLY LEGAL. 219 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,084 WE CONSULT HIM FOR MAYBE AN HOUR, 220 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,085 AND THEN I GOT TO LET HIM GO. 221 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,086 - YOU TALK TO HIM FIRST. 222 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,254 YOU HAVE A SCARY FACE. - HEY. 223 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,290 - NO, IN A GOOD WAY. SCARY CUTE. 224 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,092 - YEAH? - GO TALK TO HIM. 225 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,093 - OKAY. 226 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,228 - I DIDN'T DO THIS, MAN. 227 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,097 I PROMISE. 228 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,633 - SON, I'M A POLICE OFFICER, OKAY, YOU SHOULDN'T LIE TO ME. 229 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,302 - I'M NOT. I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE. 230 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,970 AND WHY WOULD I DO THIS? 231 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,172 - BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD RUN-INS WITH MISS KNOPE IN THE PAST. 232 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,174 [cell phone rings] 233 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,143 JUST A SECOND. 234 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:07,214 YEAH? - ASK HIM ABOUT THE PEACH PIT. 235 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,750 - THIS ISN'T ONE-WAY GLASS, YOU KNOW. 236 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:12,152 I CAN SEE YOU. 237 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,821 YOU KNOW, I LIKE KNOPE. 238 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,989 I SCREW WITH HER 'CAUSE SHE GETS ALL RILED UP. 239 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,291 AND HER FACE GETS ALL SCRUNCHED UP LIKE THIS. 240 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,761 BUT I LIKE HER. SHE'S ALL RIGHT. 241 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,296 [laughs] YOU SEE? 242 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,297 - WHAT? 243 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:27,334 - I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY DECORATING THIS PLACE, 244 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,369 AND EVERYBODY'S IN THE KITCHEN. 245 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,371 WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS IN THE KITCHEN? 246 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,673 - I THINK IT'S GOING FINE. 247 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,341 - IT'S SO QUIET. 248 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:37,177 OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD. 249 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,280 THIS IS A TOTAL FAILURE. THIS PARTY IS A FAILURE. 250 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,749 OH, MY GOD. 251 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:44,284 - NO, NO, IT'S NOT A FAILURE, ANN, COME ON. 252 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,186 - ANN, DO YOU HAVE ANY MOUNDS? 253 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,355 BECAUSE ALL I CAN FIND ARE ALMOND JOYS. 254 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,758 AND ALMONDS GIVE ME THE SQUIRTS. 255 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:51,759 - UGH. 256 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,160 - HEY, I'M HERE. 257 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,262 STATUE'S FINE. 258 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,898 "CRAPPY HALLOWIENERS." THAT'S HILARIOUS. 259 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,999 WHERE'S THE KID? 260 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,067 - IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM, 261 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,902 TRYING TO HIDE HIS OBVIOUS GUILT. 262 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,704 - LESLIE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. 263 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:04,872 I DON'T THINK HE DID IT. 264 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,974 - YEAH, HE DID, AND WE NEED A CONFESSION. 265 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:11,211 OKAY, ANDY AND I ARE GOING TO TAKE A WALK. 266 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,848 AND IT'S GONNA BE JUST YOU, PIKITIS, AND THESE PLIERS. 267 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,784 - LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA TORTURE THIS KID. 268 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,019 - NOBODY SAID TORTURE. 269 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,654 - WHY DON'T YOU LET ME TAKE A RUN AT HIM, BOSS? 270 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:24,224 IN ORDER TO THINK LIKE ONE OF THESE GUYS, 271 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,093 YOU HAVE TO THINK LIKE THEM. 272 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,161 - YEAH, HE'S NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE. 273 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:31,031 SO IMPLY THAT YOU'RE SOMEONE VERY IMPORTANT, 274 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:34,902 AND THAT YOU CAN MAKE HIS LIFE HELL. 275 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,037 - [clears throat] 276 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,106 GREG PIKITIS. 277 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,141 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BOILING HOT COFFEE? 278 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:47,180 IN THE FACE? 279 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,348 - MY NAME IS BERT MACKLIN. 280 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:51,952 I'M WITH THE [bleep] FBI. 281 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,087 - OOH. ARE THESE THE SAME KIND OF CHIPS? 282 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:57,257 - HEY! WHAT'S UP, GORGEOUS? 283 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,358 - PERFECT. 284 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,127 - GET YOUR RAGGEDY ASS OVER HERE, GIRL. 285 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,095 - HEY, TOM. MAD HATTER? 286 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,797 - T-PAIN, BABY. 287 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:07,034 * SHE POPPIN', SHE ROLLIN', SHE ROLLIN' * 288 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:11,839 * SHE CLIMBIN' THE POLE AND I'M IN LOVE WITH THE STRIPPER * 289 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,874 THIS IS NOT A STRIPPER, IT'S MY WIFE WENDY. 290 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,075 YOU REMEMBER HER. 291 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,076 - HI. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INVITING US. 292 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,210 - SURE. 293 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:18,946 - SHE'S A SURGEON AT COUNTY GENERAL. 294 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,147 AND SHE'S SUPER HOT. 295 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,282 - WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING A DOCTOR 296 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,784 AND NOT COMING DRESSED AS A DOCTOR. 297 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:28,221 - OH, MY GOD, WHO'D BE BORING ENOUGH TO DO THAT? 298 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,222 - ANN, WHAT HAPPENED HERE? 299 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:30,758 DID YOU TELL EVERYONE THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO 300 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,826 GET A BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT TOMORROW? 301 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:33,827 THEY LOOK MISERABLE. 302 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,262 THIS PARTY'S A DISASTER. 303 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,864 - NO, IT'S NOT. - YES, IT IS. 304 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:37,865 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. WE CAN FIX THIS. 305 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:38,866 - TOTALLY. 306 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:39,933 - GIVE US A SECOND. 307 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:42,202 - YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER-- 308 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,370 - [sighs] - SHUT UP! 309 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,838 - LOOKS LIKE ANDY'S WEARING HIM DOWN. 310 00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,040 I'M GONNA GO FINISH HIM OFF. 311 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,409 - THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. 312 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,178 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND? 313 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,312 - WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE? 314 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:56,216 - HE'S A JERK! HE IS BEING SUCH A JERK! 315 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,317 THAT'S AN AWFUL THING TO SAY TO A HUMAN BEING! 316 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,451 - ARE YOU CRYING? 317 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,020 - NO, I'M-- I AM NOT CRYING, OKAY? 318 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,856 I'M--I'M ALLERGIC TO JERKS! - OKAY, ANDY, OUT. 319 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:07,160 - FINE! I DON'T EVEN CARE! IT'S STUPID! 320 00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:11,364 - OKAY. THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF. 321 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:14,334 - WH--WHAT'S THAT? - I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 322 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,269 WHEN I CAME TO VISIT YOU AT THE SCHOOL 323 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,438 YOU WERE EATING A PEACH. 324 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,540 THEN MY OFFICE GETS VANDALIZED 325 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,075 AND SOMEBODY LEAVES A PEACH PIT ON MY DESK. 326 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:25,478 I DON'T THINK THAT'S A COINCIDENCE, GREG. 327 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:26,746 - WOW. YOU NAILED ME. 328 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:30,250 I MEAN, THERE IS NO WAY THAT TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE COULD'VE EATEN 329 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:34,454 THE SAME FRUIT IN THE SAME DAY IN THE SAME AREA OF INDIANA. 330 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:38,325 NEVER MIND THAT I WAS ACTUALLY EATING A PLUM 331 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:44,264 WHEN YOU SAW ME EARLIER. 332 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,366 - I KNOW YOU DID THIS. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY. 333 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,301 I DON'T CARE THAT YOU WERE IN THE PARKING LOT ALL NIGHT, 334 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,203 SOMEHOW YOU FOUND A WAY TO GET IN HERE. 335 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,905 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 336 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,173 HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS IN THE PARKING LOT ALL NIGHT? 337 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:57,044 - BECAUSE I FOLLOWED YOU, GENIUS! 338 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,947 - IF YOU FOLLOWED ME ALL NIGHT, THEN YOU KNOW THAT IT WASN'T ME! 339 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,149 NO! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? 340 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:05,218 - LOOK, I'VE BEEN VERY CIVIL, BUT I WILL WATERBOARD YOU. 341 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,354 - NO, NOPE. 342 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,089 I DON'T THINK SHE WOULD MAKE A GOOD COP. 343 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,558 I-I WOULD BE FRIGHTENED TO LIVE IN A TOWN 344 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:14,294 THAT SHE'S THE COP OF, FRANKLY. 345 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,496 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 346 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,865 - ANN, DO YOU WANT ME TO LIVEN THINGS UP OR NOT? 347 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,432 - OF COURSE I DO. - ALL RIGHT, THEN RELAX. 348 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,935 TURN OFF ALL THE LIGHTS THAT DON'T HAVE COLORED BULBS. 349 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,537 [Flo Rida's Jump] 350 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,139 ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL. 351 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:29,209 TAKE THE PIGS IN A BLANKET AND PUT 'EM TO SLEEP, 352 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,911 IT'S TIME TO GET WILD! 353 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,846 GET THIS FURNITURE OUT OF HERE, Y'ALL, 354 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,247 WE'RE MAKING A DANCE FLOOR. 355 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,583 COME ON, Y'ALL. 356 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:41,188 PUT THE TURKEY WRAPS DOWN. WE'RE 'BOUT TO GET WILD. 357 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:45,859 RON SWANSON IN THE BUILDING, Y'ALL! 358 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:50,563 * 359 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,166 - HIS MOM'S GONNA BE HERE SOON. PLEASE, DAVE, JUST ARREST HIM. 360 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,334 - ON WHAT CHARGE? 361 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,468 - JUST HANDCUFF HIM TO SOMETHING. 362 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,338 - GREGGY? GREG! 363 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,440 GREGSY. 364 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,441 - MOM. 365 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,310 - MRS. PIKITIS. 366 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,112 HI, I'M LESLIE KNOPE. THIS IS OFFICER SANDERSON. 367 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,514 - AND BERT MACKLIN. FBI. 368 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,016 - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 369 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,617 YOU CAN'T JUST HOLD A 16-YEAR-OLD KID 370 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:11,484 AGAINST HIS WILL. 371 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,986 - WELL, WE WERE TRYING TO QUESTION HIM 372 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:13,987 ABOUT THIS VANDALISM. 373 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,188 - DO YOU HAVE ANY EVIDENCE? 374 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,324 - YES. TWO WORDS. - NO. NO, WE DON'T-- 375 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,960 - PEACH PIT. - PEACH PIT. 376 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:20,994 - HIS DNA IS ALL OVER IT, I ASSUME. 377 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,095 - WE DON'T KNOW THAT. 378 00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:25,398 - WE CAN GET IT TESTED, AND IF IT MATCHES YOUR DNA, 379 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,067 THEN YOU'RE GOING AWAY FOR A LONG TIME. 380 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,601 - IS THIS A JOKE? 381 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:29,937 - NO. 382 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,005 - I'M CALLING YOUR SHIFT COMMANDER. 383 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,307 MONDAY MORNING, I AM CALLING YOUR BOSS. 384 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,309 I DON'T KNOW WHO TO CALL ABOUT YOU-- 385 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,477 - PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 386 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,478 - FINE! 387 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,580 AND IF ANY OF YOU EVER COME NEAR MY SON AGAIN, 388 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,483 I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SUE YOU AND EVERYONE IN THIS BUILDING. 389 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:48,221 COME ON, HONEY. 390 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:51,224 - LET 'EM THINK THEY'VE LOST US. THEN-- 391 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,026 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 392 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,163 - I GOT TO GO TELL MY BOSS WHY I ILLEGALLY DETAINED A TEENAGER. 393 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,430 I SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH THIS. 394 00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,232 IT'S JUST-- 395 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,201 JUST BAD POLICE WORK. 396 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,371 - YEAH, IT WAS BAD FBI WORK TOO. 397 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,405 MY BAD. 398 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:18,551 - TONIGHT THE "T" IN T-PAIN STANDS FOR "TOM HAVERFORD"! 399 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,420 NURSES VERSUS DOCTORS. 400 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,989 ON MY MARK. 401 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:25,525 THREE, TWO, ONE... 402 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,061 VODKA! 403 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:31,364 [cheering] 404 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,333 - SON. 405 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,168 THAT IS ONE HELL OF A COSTUME. 406 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,636 - THANKS. 407 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,439 - DAMN, THAT'S GOOD. 408 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,573 NICE PARTY. 409 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,575 - THANKS. 410 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,078 - WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS? 411 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,513 - KIDS ARE KIDS. 412 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,116 EVERYBODY DOES STUPID STUFF LIKE THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 413 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,750 - I DIDN'T. 414 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,751 - YEAH, BUT YOU WERE PROBABLY A NERD, THOUGH, HUH? 415 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,153 - HEY. 416 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,587 - LESLIE, I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY. 417 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,056 LOOK AT YOU NOW. 418 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,625 YOU'RE THE COOLEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET. 419 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,360 I EVEN MET JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP ONCE. 420 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,363 - ANDY, WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME? I'LL FINISH CLEANING THIS UP. 421 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,497 - NO WAY. 422 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:07,467 YOU GOT ME A JOB. YOU'RE HELPING ME TURN MY LIFE AROUND. 423 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,669 I GO HOME WHEN YOU GO HOME. 424 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,539 - UH, IT'S-- IT'S CITY PLANNING. 425 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,507 IT'S MOSTLY, LIKE, REGULATING THINGS 426 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,277 AND JUST MAKING SURE PEOPLE OBEY THE CITY CODE. 427 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,612 - YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE? GO BACK TO MY PLACE? 428 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,449 - WHAT? NO. 429 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,518 I'M DATING ANN. 430 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:26,786 - GOOD. THAT WAS A TEST. YOU PASSED. 431 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,521 LET'S CELEBRATE YOU PASSING THE TEST, 432 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:29,522 OVER A DRINK AT MY PLACE. 433 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,459 - NO. STILL NO. 434 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,794 - YOU PASSED A SECOND TEST. 435 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:38,765 BUT WE'RE STILL WATCHING YOU. 436 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:42,035 [slow r&b music] 437 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:46,806 - SO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE, GO BACK TO MY PLACE? 438 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,475 * 439 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,810 - HEY, RON. 440 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,812 - HELLO, WENDY. 441 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,548 BOY, YOU AND TOM REALLY TURNED THE PARTY AROUND. 442 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,485 - OH. WE HAVE A GOOD TIME TOGETHER. 443 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:04,124 TOM TOLD ME THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT OUR GREEN CARD MARRIAGE, 444 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,458 AND I JUST-- I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU 445 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:09,229 FOR NOT TELLING ANYONE. 446 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,364 - NO WORRIES. 447 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:15,502 I'D HATE FOR YOU TO HAVE TO GO BACK TO CANADA. 448 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:19,839 ALL THE--ALL THAT SOCIALIZED MEDICINE UP THERE. 449 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,841 - WENDYLICIOUS, WHERE YOU BEEN? 450 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:26,213 - I WAS JUST THANKING RON FOR, YOU KNOW, NOT TELLING ANYONE. 451 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,748 - OH, YEAH. THANK YOU. THAT WAS COOL OF YOU. 452 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,817 - YOU KNOW, YOU WON'T HAVE TO KEEP IT A SECRET MUCH LONGER 453 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,585 BECAUSE IN A FEW MONTHS WE CAN SPLIT UP 454 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,154 WITHOUT RAISING ANY EYEBROWS. 455 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:38,391 AND WE'LL INVITE YOU TO THE DIVORCE PARTY. 456 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,228 - OH, MAYBE GREG IS INNOCENT. 457 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,595 IF THAT'S THE CASE, 458 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,464 THEN THERE'S ANOTHER KID OUT THERE WHO'S TORMENTING ME. 459 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,233 - MAYBE. 460 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,234 - I BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE 461 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,736 INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY IN THIS COUNTRY. 462 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,871 THAT'S THE CORNERSTONE OF DEMOCRACY. 463 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,474 - SURE. 464 00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,844 - ON THE OTHER HAND, GREG PIKITIS IS A LITTLE PUNK. 465 00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,412 I KIND OF WANT TO TP HIS HOUSE. 466 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:02,415 - LET'S DO IT. 467 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,483 - [laughing] 468 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:07,454 WAIT, WAIT, THIS IS FUN, THIS IS FUN, WHAT DO I DO? 469 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:08,488 - YOU JUST GRAB THE TOILET PAPER, 470 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,622 UNROLL IT A LITTLE BIT LIKE THIS, 471 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,258 THROW IT OVER THE TREE. 472 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,692 - THIS IS FOR MAYOR PERCY, 473 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,827 THIS IS FOR THE PARKS DEPARTMENT OFFICE, 474 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,897 THIS IS FOR POOPING ON THE HANDBALL COURT! 475 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,332 - [clucks] 476 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,400 - [squeaks] 477 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:24,271 YEAH! THIS IS REALLY FUN, BUT I DON'T CONDONE IT! 478 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:28,241 [breathing frantically] 479 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:31,211 - BYE, GUYS. YOU'RE THE MAN, SWANSON. 480 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,779 THANKS FOR COMING. - ARRR... 481 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,714 - ANN. - DUDE. 482 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,550 THANK YOU SO MUCH. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 483 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,719 - DON'T MENTION IT. 484 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:42,355 - ALSO, TOM, YOUR WIFE IS SUPER COOL. 485 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:43,390 SO WELL DONE. 486 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,724 - YEAH, SHE'S PRETTY GREAT, RIGHT? 487 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,593 - YEAH, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU LANDED THAT CHICK, 488 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,561 BUT SHE'S AWESOME. NICE WORK. 489 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,463 YOU'RE LUCKY. - HI. YOU READY TO GO? 490 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:51,398 - YES. 491 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,266 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN. 492 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,501 - BYE. THANK YOU. 493 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,304 - 'BOUT TO HEAD HOME AND HAVE CRAZY SEX. 494 00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,505 - THAT'S COOL. I DON'T-- 495 00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,739 - YAY! 496 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:00,540 [laughs] 497 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,842 - [laughs] [police siren sounds] 498 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:06,846 FIVE-0! FIVE-0! 499 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,316 - I SEE YOU IN THERE, ANDY. 500 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:12,685 LESLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 501 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,488 - OH, BOY. 502 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,357 - THAT'S THEM, OFFICER. RIGHT THERE. 503 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,825 - OH, MY GOD. OH, NO. 504 00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,894 I'M SO SORRY. I THINK WE HAVE THE WRONG HOUSE. 505 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,896 - WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 506 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:24,697 - IT'S REALLY HARD TO EXPLAIN, 507 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:25,898 BUT WE WERE TRYING TO GET REVENGE 508 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:26,733 ON THIS KID GREG PIKITIS, 509 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:27,600 AND WE THOUGHT THIS WAS HIS HOUSE, 510 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,202 BUT I GUESS WE GOT THE ADDRESS WRONG. 511 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,337 - I'M GREG'S MOM. 512 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,739 - YOU ARE? - YES. 513 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:37,444 OH, DID HE HIRE A FAKE MOM AGAIN TO GET HIM OUT OF TROUBLE? 514 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,878 - WHAT? 515 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,947 - WHENEVER HE GETS IN TROUBLE HE GOES ON CRAIGSLIST 516 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,849 AND HIRES A WOMAN TO PLAY HIS MOTHER AND BAIL HIM OUT. 517 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:46,253 OH, THAT LITTLE S-O-B. 518 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,921 GREG! GREGORY! 519 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:49,922 - I KNEW IT! 520 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,658 - OH, MY GOD. - DUDE. 521 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:56,396 THAT KID IS AMAZING. 522 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:59,932 - HE'S NOT IN HIS ROOM. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS. 523 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,368 - I DO. 524 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,603 - MAKE SURE YOU GET THAT. 525 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,639 - HEY! 526 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,508 - LET THEM GO! STAY ON THE LEADER! 527 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,578 [panting] 528 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:12,579 - OOH... 529 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,714 I AM GONNA WRING YOUR NECK! 530 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,549 - HOW DID YOU GET INTO THE PARKS DEPARTMENT? 531 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:17,350 I HAVE TO KNOW. 532 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:18,851 - MAYBE THE FBI CAN FIGURE IT OUT. 533 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,689 - [laughs] I'M NOT EVEN IN THE FBI, STUPID. 534 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,724 - WOW. YOU'RE AMAZING. 535 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,293 - HEY! YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL FOR A VERY LONG TIME. 536 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:27,394 - YOU CAN'T-- 537 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:28,094 - HE'S NOT GONNA GO TO JAIL, YOU KNOW, HE'S A MINOR. 538 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,563 - WE'LL LET THE JURY DECIDE. 539 00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:32,565 - IT'S NOT GONNA BE A JURY, IT'S HIS-- 540 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:33,566 - THEN THE JUDGE WILL DECIDE WHERE HE GOES. 541 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,502 - LOOK, HE'S GONNA DO PROBATION, HE'S A MINOR-- 542 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,504 - DAVE, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS. 543 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,508 - WOW, NICE WORK, KNOPE. - YEAH, THAT IS AMAZING. 544 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,709 - THANKS. 545 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,645 BUT THE THING THAT'S DRIVING ME NUTS IS HOW DID HE DO IT? 546 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,582 - IF YOU DESTROY HIM EARLY, PLEASE COME BY. 547 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,284 - I WILL. 548 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,619 - HOW IS SOMEONE GONNA BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH THAT DOOR? 549 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,721 - OH! WHAT THE-- 550 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,623 - I MEAN, WE WERE HERE ALL AFTERNOON. 551 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,626 HOW DID HE GET IN? 552 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:02,962 FIRST OF ALL, WE ALWAYS LOCK THE DOORS WHEN WE LEAVE. 553 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,864 AND DAVE AND I TAILED PIKITIS 554 00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:07,767 FROM THE MOMENT HE LEFT HIS HOUSE AT 7:00 P.M. 555 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,670 TO THE MOMENT WE CAME BACK HERE. 556 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,339 DOES HE HAVE A LOOK-ALIKE OR SOMETHING? 557 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:18,311 DID HE HAVE AN ACCOMPLICE? I MEAN, DID HE HAVE HELP? 558 00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:21,981 HOW DID THAT LITTLE TURD DO IT? 559 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:22,081 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com